Its the late 1960s in Harlem. In bars, in dance halls, and in basements, a community of mostly trans and queer Black and Latino New Yorkers have started gathering under the cloak of night. Many of them are very poor. Many struggle with homelessness. Many have not felt accepted by their families for a long time, if ever. But in this secret world, those identities are pasted over with sweat and high heels. In this world, you have a family you can count on, gender is deconstructed and reconstructed, social stratification is turned on its head; anyone can be the CEO, the all-American macho man, the high fashion model from Paris. On the runway, anyone can be anything but you better bring it.
Welcome to the ball.
A Ball is a form of competition where people compete on a runway. Drawing its inspiration from the worlds of fashion, hip hop and dance, it includes categories such as "Butch Queen Realness" judged on a participant's ability to pass as a straight male, "Face" an assessment of the beauty of the face, and "Vogue" a highly stylized form of dance, most famously featured in Madonna's music video, "Vogue".
But for many, this isn't just a genre or side hobby. The culture of the Ball scene is inextricably intwined with politics of race, class, gender, and sexuality, and its structure reflects that.
Groups, called Houses, formed to compete against one another. Each House has an appointed mother, father, and sometimes even grandparents and godparents. This structure provided many members of the Ball scene with people they could count on and be accountable to. Families cared for each other on and off of the runway.
Though the Ball scene bruised badly with the AIDS crisis of the 80s, it has been growing and evolving ever since. Today, despite its widespread popularity around the world, the scene remains largely unknown, even in queer and trans communities it is shrouded in mystery and misconception.
Father Dutch Constantine
is the father of the House of Constantine
Each House in the Ball scene is structured like a family.
FATHER DUTCH: Theres always the father and the mother of the house. Houses formed as families to give a name to the kinds of relationships that were already forming.
He explains that the House of Constantine is part of Torontos Kiki scene.
FATHER DUTCH: Theres two levels of the scene. Theres the Ballroom scene, and then the Kiki scene. The Kiki scene started so that people just getting into Ballroom would have a platform to cut their teeth before they went and walked the real scene.
He takes his role as father very seriously.
FATHER DUTCH: At the Ball, I advocate on behalf of my kids. Its funny, like, I never would get angry or steamed at a Ball when I was just walking for myself. But if your kid gets chopped you kind of have to make a stink.
But hes definitely not doing it alone.
FATHER DUTCH: Legacy is the Godfather of the house. He has a lot of experience so he helps instruct. Father Danger is the one who brought us all together. Hes the founder and heart of the house. Then theres Mother, whos a motherly figure and also a figurehead.
He came to the Ball scene by way of his other love: writing.
FATHER DUTCH: At one point I was interviewing the House of Monroe for their five year anniversary Ball. I was like, Whats it feel like to walk a ball? Because, you know, Ill never walk a ball. And Mother Monroe looks straight in my eye and says, Oh, were waitin on you.
He has found it to be something really special.
FATHER DUTCH: The ballroom scene has been a simultaneous opportunity to nurture and be nurtured, and also to bear witness to, and be a part of, forging really important relationships that are aware of dynamics around race, gender, class, but which also have a platform that transforms it.
In some ways, the Ball scene is expressly political.
FATHER DUTCH: One of the really famous lines from Paris is Burning is you know, you cant make it really far in this world if youre a black gay person. Now, thirty years later, We have a sort of visible conversation happening going on around those identities, and I find the ballroom scene as like a platform to acknowledge those things and expand them, to make them more capacious.
But let's be clear: not everyone in the Ballroom scene is interested in politics.
FATHER DUTCH: Theres so much more nuance to it, and sometimes politics isnt even really at the surface. Like its happening, but its not the conversation. The conversations like, Where are you gonna get your hair done tomorrow night before the ball? Thats just as important.
He is very aware of his position as a white person in the ballroom scene.
FATHER DUTCH: I was invited into this community, as much as I play a leadership role. If I ever feel like that invitation doesnt stand, its my obligation to back off.
If youre looking for a friend to watch RuPauls Drag Race with, Father Dutch is not your guy.
FATHER DUTCH: Theres a misunderstanding that drag culture is the same thing as ball culture. I say Im involved in the Ballroom scene, and people are like, Oh my god! RuPaul! And Im like, No. I dont know anything about the RuPaul scene. Theyre great, but its just not my thing.
is a baby of the family.
The first ball Spectrum went to was a breakfast ball, hosted by the House of Nuance.
SPECTRUM: The commentator was like Face! Anybody walking? And nobody was walking, so I was like, I guess Im just gonna do this. I ended up winning.
Growing up, Spectrum didnt know this kind of community existed.
SPECTRUM: I was 16, stuck in North Etobicoke, in Catholic school. It wasnt the greatest environment to be in. We didnt have a gay straight alliance. When they had that whole wear purple for bullying against LGBT day they just said it was for bullying. They cut out the gay part. Their excuse was that people might not want to donate if they know its for gay people.
To Spectrum, the ballroom scene is about more than just performing.
SPECTRUM: I had been involved in queer communities before. People were more likely to include you if you conformed to what their idea of non conformity was. That wasn't me. A big part of this is being able to genuinely be myself around other people.
Spectrum finds that people from outside the community are quick to judge the way gender is articulated in the Ball scene.
SPECTRUM: Im non-binary trans. Theres a tendency for people to see my House calling me girl and saying she and they say, Oh theyre misgendering you! Its like, No. Everybody is called girl. Everybody is called she. People would know that if they got to know the scene more. But they just see whats there and they decide not to look any further.
"We're real people. We have real lives."
SPECTRUM: Its not this outrageous, fringe thing that weird people are doing. Were real people. We have real lives. Theres different things about us. Im disabled. Theres so much more to us than just this. When people see it from the outside, theyre just like oh this is just fun party people. But weve got a lot in our lives, in general. This is like letting go. For me at least. I cant speak for everyone.
Before I can interview
Madame Scarlett Constantine,
she stops me.
MADAME SCARLETT: Wait. I need to put on lipstick first.
A proud mother of twins, Madame Scarlett usually walks runway, but shes hoping to branch out into the body category.
MADAME SCARLETT: Certain categories are misinterpreted. Body, its not like youre naked and showing off your body. Its like an art form, you show off the curve, what you have and what you dont have. Its fun.
Madame Scarletts cousin, Danger, is the founder of The House of Constantine. He plays an integral role in taking care of his family.
MADAME SCARLETT: We have fun like a family, we chill like a family. If theres no practice, sometimes we just go out together and chill.
For Scarlett, and many others in the Constantine family, this feels more like family than the one they were born into.
MADAME SCARLETT: Its weird to say this, but sometimes the family you pick other than your own bloodline family is more like your bloodline family. We fight like brothers and sisters. But at the end of the day, you cant touch one of us, because the whole of the group is beyond you.
JoJo and Yovska Constantine
ask to be interviewed together
Jojo was afraid to join the Ball scene at first.
JOJO: I knew some people in the scene and I had already been to two balls, but I didnt want to walk. The scene seemed to have a lot of drama, and I get scared of drama.
But now, theyre all in.
JOJO: Theyre like, my gay family. I cant talk to my biological family about stuff like this, so having Mommy and Daddy here has been great. Theyve helped me through some really, really rough times. My confidence since joining has gone up a ridiculous amount.
The first time Yovska walked in a Ball, it wasnt planned.
YOVSKA: The first time I walked in one, I wasnt planning on walking, but they had a category called Fag Out which was like, be as gay as you can, sort of thing. And I remember that category called for glitter, so I was like fussing around, like
JOJO: Give me some glitter!
YOVSKA: Yeah. I ended up winning when I poured an entire bag of glitter on my head. People were excited. I loved that energy.
Jojo loves the vast variety of categories people can participate in.
JOJO: Its like, this equalizing thing because you know no matter what theres gonna be a category for you.
Both of them agree that its important to acknowledge the political landscape of the scene.
YOVSKA: Mainstream media constantly borrows from gay culture and doesnt acknowledge where its coming from.
JOJO: I see those campaigns and theyre like, Oh, voguing, cute. It takes away a lot of the political agenda of it. Theyre just trying to make the scene palatable, but if you want to be in the scene, youve got to accept all the parts of it.
When I interview Godfather
he offers me a cookie.
GODFATHER LEGACY: Girl, what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine.
Hes been walking for close to five years now.
GODFATHER LEGACY: When I started in the scene I used to walk All-American runway, then I changed to Butch Queen Vogue Femme, and now I walk European runway.
As the Houses Godfather, he is known to be a little bit tough.
GODFATHER LEGACY: I speak with passion, and they might take passion as anger. I would never attack them. I am a lion to my cubs. Anyone else tries to yell at them, Im the first one to jump in and rip their neck off. If theres a problem, WE will deal with it. Dont baby them, dont sugar coat it.
But he maintains that its important to have fun.
GODFATHER LEGACY: The wolves will bite you, but as long as youre having fun, its like getting bit by a toy shark.
There is a common misconception that the Ball scene is very flamboyant.
GODFATHER LEGACY: Its much more than that. If you look at, for example All-American Runway, is not a flamboyant type of runway. Its an all male, masculine runway. For people to be like, This is flamboyant, and then look at All-American Runway and go, Oh, well I didnt know this existed, Im like, You didnt know cause you never asked. You just assumed.
To Godfather Legacy, the closeness and cohesiveness of his family are what set his family apart.
GODFATHER LEGACY: People are like, Where do you come from? Who put you all in a box together and sold you for one price? People enjoy looking at us doing what we like to do.
He wants everyone to feel welcome in the House of Constantine.
GODFATHER LEGACY: I want to bring in new people, new types of personalities, people that are afraid. Anybody, bring them into the family.
Thank you to the House of Constantine for welcoming me to their practice.
They say you can never have enough of a good thing, but we all know there's plenty of stuff that you'd like to just go, "Oh, no thank you" about and that would be that.
Unfortunately, that pretty much never actually works.
Try telling the electric company "no thanks" when the way too high bill comes, or just putting up a hand to decline work for the next week or so because you're just kind of over it.
Consequences and repercussions, folks. But you've got to admit some stuff would just be better if it was... less.
Reddit user DuckyMomo_12 asked:
"What’s something that would be 100% better if it was slightly shorter?"
Time At WorkExcited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Average work hours"
"Seriously. My current company has us work 37.5 hour weeks with a paid hour lunch. I don’t know if I could go back to the 40 hour/unpaid 30 min lunch again. It seems like such a small change but it feels like a lot."
"Everything is getting more expensive right now because of corporate greed. Don't buy the bs that it's just inflation."
"Your bosses are making profits and squeezing you for everything you're worth in the process. Remember that while you bust your @ss for them."
"So would you take a pay cut so you can work less?"
"If you work less, yes. But if you do the same amount of work in less hours, no."
"I moved to US a the beginning of this year and that is something which drives me crazy. People are so inefficient when they work, here."
"Why not just do your job rapidly, with great care and concentration then leave to have your life?! I was in Germany, UK and France before and that's what people do. You do your job and when it's finished, around 3 or 4 pm, they just go home or to gym, or other places. Having time for you is the reward for working well."
"Yeah that's a good way to look at it"
"My nose hair."
"Dude... tell me about it. I didn't need excessive nose hair at 26, why TF do I need it at 36."
"Seriously, I can trim for minutes and the next morning I got nose hairs coming out my nose tickling the sh*t out of me!"
"Oh and there is one cheeky hair all the way up in my left nostril that will grow all curled up in my nose and all of a sudden it just starts poking out, seriously now, this thing has grown to about 2 inches long. if i pull on it, I swear to god it feels like it tugs on either the back of my head or my left eye."
"I got nose hair for days."
"I just bought a beard/hair trimmer that has a nose/ear hair accessory, my nose hairs weren't excessively long but I feel like it looks much better now!"
"This is fortuitous cuz I wondered if I'd ever get to tell this story! Literally, cleaning/fixing things in my new home about 3 hours ago."
"My nose got tickled and I i couldn't rub it because I had wood glue gloved hands. So I'm washing up and staring in the mirror at all the stuff my (generally maintained, but neglected because I can't find sh*t) nose hairs kept out of my system. It was AMAZING! DUST WAS DANCING IN MY NOSE HAIR LIKE I'VE SPUN CHARLOTTE'S WEB."
"I, honestly, felt lucky to get a chance to appreciate my nose hair. And I hope 1 day you do, too. As for me? I'm still left in awe like that'll do, pig, that'll do."
Lines For FunEpisode 2 Waiting In Line GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Lines at any amusement park."
"Go during September or October. The lines are much shorter and the weather isn't too hot or cold"
"One year my father's company and maybe a couple others rented Disneyland for one night. There were enough people that it didn't feel empty, but not so many that we couldn't just walk right up and immediately get on any ride. I was old enough to be on my own."
"One of the big perks of staying at one of the Disney hotels is they have certain nights that the park closes for everyone but the people that are staying there. We chilled at the hotel for most of the day then went in late and walked up to every attraction we wanted. My kid loved space mountain and we must have ridden it 10 times in a row. Glorious."
"Me. I hate hitting my knees on the seat in front when using public transport"
"Tall gang represent. Got the opposite problem tho, 31 inch inseam, all my height is torso. Crack my head on every ceiling in every personal vehicle I've ever owned bar one"
"I don’t fit on airlines. Flying sucks…"
"Frequent festival go-er, I always stand in the back because I hate blocking other peoples view"
"You took the words right out my mouth"
This One Is Advance
"Queues. This is a two for one, as the word queue would also be 100% better if it was shorter."
"The word queue is just the letter Q with a bunch of extra letters waiting in line."
"I've seen people using 'cue' like 'cue up', but idk if they're just americans that suck at using the right word because we don't call lines 'queues' as often."
RestTired Baby GIFGiphy
"The amount of time you need to sleep"
"How I wish 5 hours was enough..."
"I honestly wish I could sleep more, maybe it would help with my loneliness. I usually need 6 or 7.5 h based on prior activity"
"Supreme court appointments."
"Justices should serve an 18 year term, with each one staggered every two years."
"A: that is still plenty of time so that the court can be "above" politics, but a lot more sensible than a lifetime."
"B: it would eliminate this hair-on-fire panicked emergency that happens every time one of them suddenly dies and needs to be replaced. Every president gets to appoint two new justices per term like clockwork, predictable and calculable. No more political wrangling over who controls the Senate vs who is president vs how much time there is before the election and all that BS."
"Agreed. Lifetime is a bit much... I do believe in term limits across all branches of US govt . By all means make a difference for the people that voted for you or for the party that appointed you. But, a lifetime appointment. 🥺🙄"
NFLCollege Football Running GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Football (American) games. Especially things like replay reviews and timeouts after kickoffs and change of possession. Sure, guys would get more tired and worn down late in the games but that would be part of the strategy."
"I grew up watching football with my dad. I always hated it (and still do) and always thought why do people enjoy watching a minute play with five minutes of whatever after before the next one, it's so goddamn boring to me."
"A football game is played in 4 quarters, each 15 minutes long, with a 12 minute halftime in the middle. So do the math and a football game lasts. . . 3 friggin hours!?!? And the last 3 minutes of the 4th quarter accounts for 45 minutes of that time!"
"As a big American Football fan, I completely agree. I think the biggest culprits are the endless commercials but 3 hours is just too much. The players would adapt and you would likely see some reduction in size, especially on the line. Being 400 Lbs with that amount of PED assisted muscle is questionable as it is."
"Same thing with baseball but the purists like the pitchers taking 20 minutes before each pitch for whatever reason. I like Soccer too and watching a match get knocked out in 1.5 hours and getting on with my day is great."
More Days To Enjoy
"Work week, 4 day work week, 3 day rest would be fantastic"
"I used to do 4 day work week, and I preferred it more than 5 day work weeks. Sure, I had to spend 10 hours at the office, but that 3rd day off gave me a day I could take my Mom to the doctor if needed."
"The job I worked the longest at had me on a 4 on/4 off schedule. 12 hour days. I was there for 8 years, honestly loved that job, and one of the cool things about working 12 hour days for 8 years was that it made transitioning to 8 hour days a breeze. The downside was 2 day weekends f*cking suck."
"I would love that. You need the middle day. Then you get a day to rest/decompress, a day to have fun/do things, and a day to do chores/get sh*t in order for the week."
"Most recently, Gray Man. They need to chill with the 2+ hour movies."
"If the writers really knows what they are doing with the story and the actors nail the, well, acting, I don't mind 2hr movies."
"For me the main issue is that they tend to cut short, as if they halfway through filming realize that 'Oh shoot, this movie will end up 4hrs long'."
"I'd rather have a 4 episode mini-series with hour long episodes instead."
"I feel like any bollywood movie not clockin in at 3 hrs is pretty short. But the good ones make it seem short. Ex: Three Idiots, PK"
Which of these resonated with you most?
More importantly, what needs to be on this list that you don't see?
Gripe with me in the comments, folks! It's always a good time.
Life is a mystery full of mysteries.
Some we'll finally get, some will stay a conundrum forever.
Sometimes no matter how much we study or agonize over a piece of information, it just doesn't click.
But that's okay, we're all here to commiserate.
RedditorDangerous_Mobile9188 wanted to discuss what aspects of life still leave confusion.
"What do you genuinely not understand?"
Life is full of quandaries that I give up on trying to figure out.
Everywhere?Emoji Corona GIF by BallcomGiphy
"Why people can't use a public restroom without literally pooping all over the freaking toilet."
Around the grooves...
"How a single needle can run through the grooves on a record and produce a fully layered and 'separated' sound. I mean, I get how it works in theory. But like... how TF does it work?"
"I know how it works, and I understand how it works, and I was gleefully trying to convey this knowledge to a friend when I realized that I am not able to explain how it works, which essentially means that I don’t actually get how it works."
"The thought process of a cat trying to jump on a shelf that is clearly filled with stuff and doesn't have space for it to land safely."
"The opposite, actually... how on earth does my cat jump on a shelf filled with stuff and somehow always land elegantly with all four paws between all the stuff without dropping a single thing? It surprises me every time."
"50% of cats have a 6th sense to avoid everything and 50% of cats are clumsy as hell. 100% of cats think they have the skill though."
"How consciousness works."
"I'm shocked no one has replied to this. Because yea. I haven't the slightest clue and i honestly don't think scientists know exactly how either. Such a complex system that turns into our thoughts and feelings, this is one of those things that REALLY made me appreciate the intricacies of our bodies."
10/10So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Every time my grandmother sees me, I seem to grow taller and more attractive."
I love grandmas. They understand everything.
S.O.SRole Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy
"How people can raise a functioning family at the age of 18 or 19? I can't even hold my own life together."
"Squatter rights! They confuse the hell outta me."
"Right! So you’re telling me, I can get evicted/foreclosed for missing some payments… but you can’t get rid of squatters who declare a house theirs ? I should just become a squatter then haha."
"Squatting is basically the same. It's not that they just get to live there, but the landlord has to use the proper legal mechanism (eviction) to get rid of them. And sometimes, that can take quite some time."
"How crypto mining works... like what exactly are these huge setups doing and why do GPUs matter so much? I've read several articles about it and I still don't get it."
"This is an oversimplification, but they're trying to solve a math problem. If they get the answer, they get rewarded with crypto. But the math problem is very very hard. There's no 'steps' to find the answer, it's just guess and check."
"So you need to make as many guesses as possible to see if one of your guesses is right. And it just so happens that GPUs are very good at making these guesses. So if 1 GPU can make let's say 22,000 guesses every second, then two GPUs can make 44,000 guesses every second. 10 GPUs can make 220,000 guesses every second, and so on."
"The wave-particle duality."
"This is the one man. For me this is the biggest mystery. Look, I don't care how the universe came to be. I mean I do, but this is much crazier to me. HOW DOES REALITY REACT DIFFERENTLY BASED ON OBSERVATION ALONE I sear this haunts me at night. Do i even exist man."
"Long story short, observing something at the quantum level is not as benign as observing, say, a runner on a racetrack. In observing something so small, the mere act of doing so affects the behavior/outcome. Imagine having to knock the aforementioned runner over in order to know where they are on the track. That's more or less how it was explained to me."
MagicRoss Mcelwee Photography GIF by FilmStruckGiphy
"Cameras, I’ve been explained and seen explanations 100 times. It’s still magic to me."
Maybe there are just somethings we're not meant to understand.
We all want to attain it.
Some people dedicate their lives to having it.
But who can say what is and is not attractive?
The older you get, the more serious and realistic you get with the topic.
And grapple with whether it really matters.
RedditorBig-Courage-7297 wanted to know what some people really thought when they looked into a mirror.
"How hot do you think you are? Why?"
Depending on the minute and the era, I fluctuate in my response. Oh, and depending on my sodium intake.
Middle of the way...Mackenzie Ziegler Makeup GIF by Brat TVGiphy
"5, am not ugly nor a beauty."
"'Perfectly balanced, as all things should be' JK... you probably look great."
"I give myself a solid 'alright for an old guy' out of 10."
"Comparing myself to when I was young I feel like a 2. However if I look around at other guys my age, I'm doing pretty great. Simply still having a full head of hair puts me in the top 15%."
"Occupying the latter half of the age bracket here too. And while I’ve never considered myself wildly attractive, one of my wife’s work friends once remarked to her, 'you didn’t tell me your husband was a silver fox!' I keep that one in my back pocket for gloomy days."
"My mom said I'm a 10/10."
"His mom also said I’m a 10/10. Im starting to think she says that about everyone who’s been inside her."
"Don't listen to these jealous haters you be that 10/10 and strut your stuff."
"Learning to love yourself, doesn't mean you don't see your own flaws but know where to improve and where and how you want to grow. Appreciate the goodness within even when it's hard, and work to have your ideal to be reflected on the outside too. Loving and forgiving yourself is the greatest peace you'll know, because everyone else might be gone at the end and you'll be left with you and your memories, make good ones. Spread positivity. 💕"
Changes with time...
"I think most people's scores fluctuate with age. I like to think I was a solid 8/10 in my early 20s. Then my metabolism crashed and I was working a desk job. I got real fat, got lazy, less effort, dropped to a 4/10. Got my s**t back together, lost the weight, started putting in the effort again, back up to an 8 if not higher in my 30s."
"Then I had a traumatic event in my life and I slipped into a dark place for many years. I put on weight again, stopped putting in the effort, general depression stuff, 5/10. Now I'm in my 40s, working on keeping my weight down, putting in some effort, solid 6/10..."
"But no matter what has happened, how low or high I've been... my wife has always considered me a 10. She's the best woman I've ever met and will always be a 10 to me too."
Oof...Freaks And Geeks Photo GIFGiphy
"6 or 7 on a good day? 1 when I try to take a picture of myself."
God I hated picture day. Still do.
FreshBad Hair GIF by TV LandGiphy
"Solid 5. 6 on a good day with a fresh haircut."
"I have days where I think 'God da*n, look at me. I’m God’s gift,' and then other days where I think 'how does every mirror not break?'"
"Actually though. Part of it is I used to be super athletic but due to an injury now can’t, but go**amn, I could look quite literally like a sculpture of a Greek god or hero, but also a balding baby-faced creep. Also occasionally homeless. More often the two latter than the former"
"I think I was a 6 growing up. But now that I've matured into my late 30s I'm a solid 7."
"This is me except as a kid I’d give myself a 3. Long-haired greaseball in my teens but now in my 30s, exercising for the past decade has really helped me out. Solid 7/10."
"Man, I went from 4 to 8 to 5 in the span of 20 years. Metabolism is a *itch."
"I just remind myself that the me that looks bad in in some pictures/at some angles is the same me that looks good in other pictures/other angles, just a different version. There are some angles and types of lighting and mirrors that for whatever reason, will make just about anybody look bad. There is no such thing as someone who looks good when the phone camera opens itself and shows a view of you from under your chin."
Boy Magnetichabod crane mirror GIFGiphy
"I was objectively pretty hot when I was younger. Now I am an older hot, which is weird. Younger guys really dig me but I’m like, you weren’t even born when the Challenger blew up and I was at Uni."
We're all beautiful. Just keep saying that. Maybe it'll stick.
Humans rarely agree on anything anymore.
So it's refreshing when an agreement is reached among peers.
Even if it's usually about simple or dumb stuff.
RedditorBertarioni85wanted all the gents to sit and discuss some of their universal agreements.
"What is something that all men could agree on?"
PerfectRobert Redford Nod GIFGiphy
"The nod really is great and so versatile. It's like a 'What's up man... everything cool' Ya me too. 'Wulp see ya later.' Just perfect."
"If there can be an empty urinal between us, make it so."
"There are men out there that break this rule! I was the only one, and at the far right end of a row of 4 or 5 urinals. Man walks in and pulls up right beside me, unzips, and let’s her flow, all while audibly exhaling in relief.
When you gotta go!
"That we are happy we get the short bathroom line."
To add to this, I still marvel in amazement and am grateful when I walk into a bathroom at a stadium or sporting event and it's just an endless column of empty urinals. Then you see the ladies bathroom line wrapping around two different corners. There's so much room for activities in the men's bathroom."
"Lady Professor in college (2008) said I’d make an incredible husband to my wife someday. Girl at the drive thru line said I had a cool car in September of 2015. Lady gas station attendant complimented my outfit that day and said I had a good vibe (2018). Cashier said I was handsome while ringing me up a couple weeks ago. Point is we never forget when we get complimented out of the blue."
PowerHappy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphy
"Click the tongs a couple times to make sure they work first."
"Makes me feel like a crab… a very powerful crab."
Wow. Guys are so easy. Like super easy...
Twicetalking episode 15 GIFGiphy
"Whenever we pick up a drill we have to do the bzzt... bzzt twice. No more, no less."
Sticks and Stones
"I picked it up because it’s like, a really good stick."
"I wonder if that's instinctive. I've read before that human anatomy is almost perfectly engineered for throwing and thrusting spears. Maybe men have evolved to be able to identify really good sticks and even now we're drawn to them as a vestigial trait because instead of relying on claws or teeth, our ancestors needed good spears."
On the X
"Put two men on the phone, and we’ll be done talking in two minutes. Put two men on Xbox live, and oh is it 2:00am? I should probably go to bed… after this game."
"This is so true. A few weeks back a good friend called me at 10 at night because he’s been having a tough time with fighting depression and all that. I talked to him for a minute or two on the phone, cheered him up a bit and offered to keep the chat going on xbox live. Turned into an hour and half of a good time talking and playing COD."
Gotta have it.
"It's better to have and not need than to need and not have."
"It's so bloody annoying not having the right tool for the job when you need it. I so long for the day when I will have a fully equipped garage with every tool I would ever need, to fix everything that needs fixing."
"My sister's car has cutlery, both steel and disposable. Have sewing kit, a flask, a bento box, and a complete stationery set. But, they don't even have a freaking umbrella and jumper in the car. Like, wtf. And mind you, we live in a tropical country where you should always assume every day is a rainy day."
Nothing!Ellen Page Sony GIF by FlatlinersGiphy
"Sometimes... I really am thinking about nothing. Literally... Flatline, nobody home, crickets in the field."
Ah men. What a quirky part of the species.