The way your significant other––or friends or acquaintances––interacts with their family can explain a lot about them, for better or worse. When Redditor MrDath asked the online community "What was your "that explains a lot" moment when you met someone's family?" the answers were about as revealing as you'd expect.
"A woman I know speaks very fast..."
A woman I know speaks very fast and in a loud voice, and can go for literally minutes at a time without stopping to let others speak.
I met her father, and he turned out to be the same way.
When they spoke, it was like two machine guns firing constantly at the same time, and never running out of ammo.
"An otherwise charming friend of mine..."
An otherwise charming friend of mine was oddly confrontational, seemingly for no reason.
I met her father for the first time when he was driving us somewhere. From the back seat I watched him subtly, passive aggressively put her down, all the time (he was a lawyer, he did this extremely skillfully). Normally her sudden verbal claps at people seemed out of place, but with him it appeared like an effective defence against his particular form of insulting.
Being confrontational was her defence mechanism whenever she felt insecure.
"She grew up having no idea..."
My ex was controlling, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. I met her parents, her mom was the exact same way and her dad was an absolute pushover. She grew up having no idea how to love someone in a healthy way.
"I thought it was just her particular brand of weirdness."
My wife seems like she gets distracted really easily but it's actually because she can't really differentiate between things that are time sensitive and thing that aren't. For example, if I ask her "could you pass me that spoon", she will go sit down and book the flights for our trip 6 months from now, because 'it needs to get done'. Then two hours later, she'll wonder why I grabbed the spoon myself.
I thought it was just her particular brand of weirdness. But nope, her whole family is like that. Trying to get them out the door is a nightmare because someone has always remembered something that they 'needed to do' (something that could always wait or should have been done hours ago) and by the time that person is back, another one has wandered off to do something else. It's like herding cats.
I should clarify, my wife (and her family) are remarkably organized in other ways. They get everything done that needs to be done, they just do things by order of importance rather than order of time-sensitivity.
"When I finally went to her house I was shocked."
One of my best friends. Met her in middle school. She always wore the same hoodie, two pairs of jeans, one pair of shoes that were busted out and duct taped together. Never judged her for it, I just felt bad figuring her family was super poor.
When I finally went to her house I was shocked. It was huge and in a super nice neighborhood. She had her own computer in her room (back then this was a big deal). I was blown away by all of this, my family was poorish but my shoes weren't duct taped together.
Turns out her mom was addicted to painkillers, and did nothing but sit in a chair reading, drinking wine, and chain
smoking all day every day. Her dad was also an alcoholic who was the head of a huge company in our state, so he was almost always working. I found out her parents simply never noticed she only had like one outfits worth of clothes and barely one pair of shoes. She didn't want to bother them asking for a new pair as her dad was almost always at work, and her mom was never in a good enough state to drive.
Later on in our friendship I straight up told her when I first met her I thought she was super poor and her response was "I am poor. My family has money, that doesn't mean I have money". To this day she's a hard worker and doesn't live off her parents money.
"You can talk to him but..."Giphy
Buddy of mine doesn't know how to have a conversation. You can talk to him but he never really listens to what you're saying. The entire time he is just thinking about what he is going to say next.
It's really noticeable in a group of people when the conversation has moved on to a different topic and he keeps going back to what he wants to talk about. Usually about himself.
He also brags about every single thing he does over and over and over.
Once I met his family and heard about his upbringing it all made sense. He's 1 of 5 children and had to fight for every bit of attention he had growing up. He doesn't know how to act any different.
"They are (for lack of better words) trailer park trash..."
My boyfriend is very independent and self reliant and won't accept any help from anyone, including me. It took him 3 months to finally let me buy our dinner, because he never wanted me to pay for his food. During Christmas, I met his family. They are (for lack of better words) trailer park trash, live off the government in any way they can, front teeth rotting and some missing, haven't showered in who knows how long, money grubbers, etc. My boyfriend explained he learned how to be an adult when he was very young to get away from them and he never wants to live his life like they do.
"She was this skinny, fair-featured girl..."
A friend of mine in high school was this peculiar mix of traits. She was this skinny, fair-featured girl who had very artsy tastes in music and things like that, but she was also 1000% ready to throw down with people who gave her shit.
I met her parents, and I swear to God it was like looking at a Venn diagram with my friend in the middle. The only way I can describe it is if Stevie Nicks was married to the boxing trainer from Rocky.
"I used to know a girl..."
I used to know a girl who would literally eat 4 different kinds of foods (pasta with no sauce, sandwich which consisted of bread with cheese or bread with hummus, apples, and one type of cornflakes), and would only drink apple juice, and hot chocolate. One day I was invited to stay over for a family dinner, and that's when I understood WHY she was like that. Apparently her parents are also EXTREMELY picky eaters. Later in life, when we were about 19 years old, she had an epiphany, and she also started eating potatoes.
"Her apartment was meticulous..."
I dated a girl that was very particular about everything being clean and orderly. Her apartment was meticulous - every detail "just so."
When she introduced me to her parents, I saw where it came from. I couldn't find a speck of dust or anything out of order - it was "clinically pristine," just like her place.
"I was dating a guy..."Giphy
I was dating a guy who was very reserved and he hated talking about sex, he wouldn't even laugh at sexual jokes... When I first met his parents, the dad opened the door, saw his son's beard and said « nice flavor savor » while winking at me. They were very nice, but the whole time we were there, it was innuendo after innuendo. I was with their son for awhile and they toned it down after I said it made me a uncomfortable, but I definitely understood why my bf hated talking about anything to do with sex.
"...we thought he was just crazy..."
Have a friend who is very kind but very anxious to make sure what he says is heard as it is intended, will repeat himself many times, apologize again and again for nothing... we thought he was just crazy until we were in the same room as he was having a phone conversation with his father. Apparently his dad required everything said to him to be repeated about four times. It had just become a habit.
"At dinner I grab the cocktail sauce..."
Went to sister in law's parents' house for a "dinner party" before they got married. Sister in law is...a bit tough to please to say the least. Get to the house and instantly realize she grew up filthy rich. Everything in the house was way too nice, smooth jazz playing lightly in the background, entire night has been scheduled out (mingling and appetizers in the den, dinner with the special crystal glassware, games and coffee in the living room, etc)
At dinner I grab the cocktail sauce and put a spoonful onto one of the many unnecessary plates to compliment the pre portioned 2 shrimp I was given on a stupid bed of lettuce. Instantly her mother stands up, grabs my plate forcefully, stomps off to the kitchen and washes my plate off. She comes back and says "wrong plate". I feel very bad for my brother.
"I have a friend that always interrupts people."
I have a friend that always interrupts people. Weird thing is, I'm pretty sure he doesn't even notice that he does it. Anyway, I met his dad one day, and although the guy is really cool, he never stopped talking. So interrupting is probably the only way my friend got a word in while growing up.
"My boyfriend has no concept of time..."
My boyfriend has no concept of time whatsoever. If I tell him we need to leave by 4 pm he will start his hour of showering and getting ready at 3:45. Went to his parents to ride together to a wedding one day and it all clicked for me why he is like this. We needed to leave in 20 mins and his mom was still in her pajamas not showered or anything. Happens all the time, parties, dinner reservations, holidays, you name it. They just don't care about time. Irritates the hell outta me.
"Always leaving cans everywhere..."
My current roommate is just a messy damn dude. Always leaving cans everywhere whenever he drinks and not picking them up, kitchen is always a disaster, can never remember to take shoes off in the house, and has near zero control of his volume, always yelling at the top of his lungs at 10pm on a Wednesday whenever his show makes a funny joke. His gf has been getting him a lot more hospitable making him chew with his mouth closed and follow other basic manners (he's 23). I always thought "god your poor mother must have her hands full 24/7" until I went to pick his dog up from his mom's house, who now has all her kids moved out. Jesus Christ if my house looks like that when I am 50 years old I want you to take me out back and put a bullet in my head.
"I have this roommate..."
I have this roommate who is one of these only children who was just coddled his whole life so naturally he can barely function on his own.
We are doing most of our food and other consumables separately (there are 3 people living here). It is however normal to just share TP as well as whatever small things my roommates might need.
Early on after he moved in, he blew through some consumable items of mine quite quickly and didn't seem to be buying his own. I brought this issue up with him and thought it was resolved until his mother came to our appt in a passive agressive rage, telling me that I'm a bad person and just chewing me out. Roommates personality made a lot more sense after seeing his mother.
"My husband is a super loud talker..."
My husband is a super loud talker and my family is quiet because my dad would tear us apart for being "too loud" (he worked for the railroad so sleep happened whenever) also our games had to be very quiet and we were like mice. So I was so annoyed and anxious at my husband for being so loud all the time.
I met his family. THEY ARE ALL SO LOUD!!!! Like I thought they were arguing and fighting, nope just having a discussion like everyone was half deaf. I have no clue why they are this way, they just kinda are. I'm used to it now and now I'm kinda loud too.
"He's still late a lot..."
I had a friend who was always late to EVERYTHING. School, band rehearsals, hangouts, you name it, he was always late, anywhere between 10 mins to an hour.
One day I hung out at his house as we were about to go to a basketball game, and I met his mother. Before he left the house, she would give him an ever increasing list of chores (did you make your bed? Vaccuum the lounge? Dust the cat?) and then insist he eat a sandwich (all of it down to the last crumb) THEN list all the chores he would have to do when he got home and/or tell him off for not doing a good job the first time...
He's still late a lot, but now it's his own fault, not his mother's!
Whenever I visit clothing stores, I make it a point to fold the clothes I unfurl. That is apparently my downfall as a customer.
Because of this, fellow customers often peg me as an employee and always ask me questions like where the bathroom is, or if the store has certain sizes left in stock.
Umm, no, I don't work here. I'm just a responsible customer. As you were.
Many of us make assumptions about other people just by looking at them. Who knew we were so presumptuous?
Curious to hear the experiences of strangers online, Redditor lilmizzvalz asked:
"What do people assume about you, based on your appearance?"
People often misinterpret moods based on how someone looks. That's unfair, wouldn't you say?
"That I'm caring and supportive. I have a resting nice face."
"That I am always mad. Nope just dissociating and staring off into space."
Not Meaning To Be Mean
"That I'm mean. I have a resting mean face for a dude I guess. Also lately it's worse because I'm bigger now. I don't really notice how my face appears but apparently, I seem angry when I'm looking at stuff."
"'You should smile' and 'are you ok?' comments followed me from busboy, waiter, bartender my whole career."
When it comes to measuring intelligence of others, some people are just way off.
Hard To Live Up To Expectations
"That I'm clever. People keep saying it to me, but I'm dumb and that sh*t is hard to live up to."
"I have glasses."
Eyes Full Of Wisdom
"I apparently have something similar going on mixed with looking like I know sh*t, because people come up to me in public and ask about directions, bus schedules and stuff all the time. Like, they'll deliberately avoid other people to ask me. Including when I'm abroad and should look a bit out of place."
"They assume I have an intellectual disability. (And also that I'm deaf, since I'm not able to speak.)"
"No, I am a person with two university degrees who happen to need a wheelchair because of a nasty neurological illness."
People don't always look their age. Some don't even act their age. But these Redditors have gotten their fair share of wrong guesses for their ages.
"That I'm 15."
"I'm 38 and a doctor. 'Did you just finish school?' EVERY DAY."
"This thread was depressing to read as I am 38 but often get mistaken for 50. I hate y'all and your youthful beauty."
Some people are typed out as certain types of people with just one look.
Watch Your Tone
"That I have a southern accent. Not one stranger has ever suspected that I have a 'New Jersey' accent (Born and raised in New Jersey before moving south)"
Not A Biker
"That I ride a Harley and/or work on them. I'm bald with a long goatee and tons of tattoos, but I'm in IT for a living and don't ride motorcycles at all."
Like others have expressed in the thread, I've also been accused of having "resting b*tch face."
You know, that neutral expression where you're not smiling the one time you're not in a situation where you have to be "on" for other people?
Yeah, that one.
If someone's resting face comes across as unfriendly, well, perhaps it's best not to upset them by asking them what's wrong all the time. Just sayin'.
Ideally, a teacher should take the job because of a genuine interest in helping students, furthering their education as well as their self-development. Of course, it's not as simple as that (administrative issues aside). Unfortunately, there are some teachers out there who aren't cut out for the job––and they even have a mean streak when it comes to their students. The effects this can have on the learning process are dire.
Teachers don't get paid well, and they're well aware. Many stick with the job because they have a passion for teaching; many others stick with the job because of the position of inscrutable authority it offers them over helpless students.
People shared their experiences after Redditor Ara-Rat asked the online community,
"What did your teacher do that made you call them 'the worst teacher ever'?"
"Questioned 5th-grade teacher's manner of pluralizing a word on the board. Got sent to the library to look it up in a dictionary and report my findings to the class.
Decades later and I'm still mad at that woman for trying to publicly humiliate a ten-year-old student."
That's awful. What is with adults who try to deliberately an example out of children?
"My old band teacher..."
"My old band teacher threw a projector at his students. He left the district later that year."
That was... probably for the best, when you think about it. (I had a teacher who threw a girl's pencil case out the window when she wouldn't stop talking; no, he was not fired.)
"My 3rd-grade teacher..."
"My 3rd-grade teacher got frustrated with a kid's stutter and started pounding the kid's desk with a closed fist while mocking his stutter."
Hopefully this teacher was disciplined and/or fired. That's the sort of behavior that thankfully would not fly today––it would go viral so fast.
"The worst were the teachers..."
"The worst were the teachers who would take books away from me and hold me up for ridicule because they disagreed or didn't approve of the genre or subject material. I was always into science fiction and horror genre's and many of them didn't consider it true literature worthy of reading. I remember my father getting into it with one of the teachers who disapproved of Robert Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land, to which he pointed out it was on the required reading list of a lot of major universities. Dad was awesome like that, and chewed the teacher and principal out for having the temerity to try to stop any student who wanted to read, regardless of what the genre was."
Teachers who mock students for reading are the worst. Reading is one of the best things any student can do––there are so many benefits! Hopefully you have not lost your love of reading.
"When I'd instinctively try..."
"She tied me to my chair. I was hyperactive, and also 5. She would also hold my hand during formation in the mornings and squeeze so hard my tiny knuckles would crack. When I'd instinctively try to pull my hand away, she'd hold onto it and smile at me and ask me if it hurt."
The abuse here is almost incomprehensible. But it happens: a few years ago, a teacher made headlines for hanging a student by his coat on a coatrack. You can bet there were lawsuits.
"I was in the only dress I owned..."
"Tried to get me suspended for a dress code violation when I was 15. I was in the only dress I owned at the time because I was going to my best friend's funeral. She'd committed suicide two days before. I was crying and begging her to just let me stay till my mom picked up my remaining friends to go to the funeral. Said teacher then took me to the office and I had to sit in the front office under a tarp until my mom picked me up."
"My 8th grade English teacher..."
"My 8th grade English teacher never published grades and every time I'd ask her about it she'd answer with, "I don't know, what do you think it is?"
IF I KNEW WOULD I BE ASKING?!"
I've had a few teachers like this. Makes one wonder: Are you actually grading anything? WHAT are you doing, exactly?
"My biology teacher..."
"My biology teacher took my yearbook away right before the summer break. I didn't put it away in time.
That year my parents divorced and I was moving away. I told her this after class and she didn't care. She kept it until the last day. I didn't get any signatures.
Ended up throwing it away. What a witch."
"My university lecturer..."
"My university lecturer was the most incompetent bloke I've ever met. He taught I.T and for the life of me, I can't figure out how he got that job.
- In the first lesson, he got us to sign up to Twitter so we could share lesson content, tweet at each other so we'd get to know one another, and also tweet him. Everybody, including the lecturer, used Twitter once. We just used the university intranet to share stuff.
- Again, during the first lesson, he announced he was going on holiday for four weeks during our first term.
- All of his lessons were PowerPoint presentations, each slide had about a paragraph of text written on them which he would read out loud while awkwardly looking over his shoulder. Once he was done doing that he would essentially repeat what he had just said.
- One day he asked us for help in booking his airline tickets online because he couldn't figure out how to use the website.
As sad as these stories are, consider that these teachers are very much the exception to the rule. The majority of the teachers I have known over the years genuinely care for their students, work tirelessly on their lesson plans, and would never tolerate a single moment of the behavior featured here. Thank you to those teachers for doing their jobs––we appreciate you. (And ya'll deserve a raise, it's honestly messed up how little lawmakers understand about how hard your jobs actually are.)
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments section below!
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Euthanasia and physician-assisted suicide refer to, as defined by Medical News Today, as the "deliberate action taken with the intention of ending a life, in order to relieve persistent suffering." It's a controversial topic. As of 2021, active human euthanasia is legal in the Netherlands, Belgium, Colombia, Luxembourg, Canada, and Spain. Assisted suicide is legal in Switzerland, Germany, the Australian states of Victoria Northern Territory, and Western Australia.
But this issue has many passionate supporters who often know what it's like to care for someone who would have benefited from the practice. They told their stories after Redditor Random2328 asked the online community,
"What are your thoughts on medically assisted death?"
"She was able to go to a place in Switzerland..."
"My grandma was 89 and wasn't dying of anything in particular—she didn't have cancer or dementia or anything—but her memory was slowly failing and her body was generally falling apart from old age and a leg injury from fifty years prior. She had been a widow for fourteen years. She was lonely and in pain all the time and her family lived across the ocean so we couldn't see her as much as we'd want to.
There was nothing actively killing her, but she did NOT want to be alive anymore. She wasn't depressed, just old and in pain and ready to be done.
She was able to go to a place in Switzerland, with all four of her children, and take a pill to end her life while her children sang to her and she looked out at the mountains.
We all got to say goodbye to her and she got to be completely in control of the end of her life. I can only hope that if I am ever in that situation, then the world will be kind enough to let me close my own exit as beautifully and peacefully as my grandma did."
Your grandmother sounds like she was truly blessed. Being able to make that choice––and still have time with her family––no doubt meant the world to her.
"I don't know if I'd have the courage..."
"I just went through this with a good friend in Canada. He had glioblastoma and was given 3-6 months to live. Ultimately he lived for 15 months, but he wanted to be sure he could end his life when things got bad for him, so he made the necessary preparations. I'd long known he'd made these plans. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. But as I was caring for him for the last six weeks of his life I got to witness the process firsthand.
Long story a bit shorter: Towards the end, my friend could no longer walk or speak. He could understand everything you said to him, but he couldn't find the words to reply intelligently. In his frustration, he made it clear that he was ready. So we explicitly asked him if he was ready to die. He said yes.
The next day two nurses came to his home. They talked to him and confirmed that he wanted to end his life. So, while sitting in his favorite recliner, they put in an IV. His immediate family and I sat with him. The nurses administered medication that made him fall asleep. Then they administered a second medication that stopped his breathing. In less than 5 minutes he was gone.
I don't know if I'd have the courage to make the decision my friend did, but I didn't experience his suffering. Being present for him as he ended his life has convinced me that having the option to end your life on your own terms is the absolute right thing to do. There's no reason someone should have to continue to suffer when they know all they have to look forward to is more suffering. I'm very grateful that my friend had the option available to him. Had he been in my state in the U.S. that wouldn't have been possible. But it should be."
"She made the decision to have the procedure done..."
"My grandmother passed away last week with a medically assisted death.
She had cancer that had spread to her brain, and was given a few weeks to a few months to live. From what family members said, she was deteriorating fast.
She made the decision to have the procedure done as she wanted to end her time here with dignity. The appointment was made, doctors consulted, and paperwork drawn up. 10 days later two medical professionals came by her house where she was spending time with her children. It was done quickly and comfortably.
Nana left peacefully on her own accord, in the comfort of her own home, and while she was still more or less herself. It was very strange to have a time and a date looming, but it also allowed me to set aside that time to be alone and hold a small vigil of my own (I'm currently in another country, and couldn't get back)
She lived in Canada, where this service has recently been made more accessible, and I'm all for it. If it helped my Nana, it could help so many others."
It sounds like your Nana was able to have peace––and so do you.
"It should be a right..."
"It should be a right for every human to choose when terminal. We euthanize our pets but not our loved ones. We allow our loved ones to suffer miserably at the end of life. I was a hospice nurse and saw the suffering first hand. It is inhumane to allow that."
Why do we allow it for pets and not for humans? What makes an animal's life worth more than a human's? Shouldn't they both be held in equal regard?
"I have a degenerative brain disease..."
"I have a degenerative brain disease and would very much like to die with some dignity left, so I'm all for it."
No doubt. We're sorry to hear about your struggle.
"I longed for there to be a legal way..."
"We let people die in fear and pain, but not animals. The last 6 months of my mum's life were exactly how she didn't want to live - confused, incontinent, immobile. I longed for there to be a legal way to end her suffering. She made it very clear to me during her life that this was not the way she wanted to go. I'm an RN and should make it clear I've never assisted in ending anyone's life, but I've wanted to. Medically assisted death doesn't mean more death, just less suffering."
"As someone who has..."
"As someone who has stage 4 cancer, I am in favor of having the right to die gracefully."
"If it's good enough..."
"If it's good enough for my dog then it's good enough for me."
It's truly as simple as that. We'd be doing so many human beings a favor.
"If you're not legally allowed..."
"If you're not allowed to legally arrange the end of your own life, is it actually your own life?"
"It was such a blessing..."
"My grandpa had a medically assisted death in 2019. It was such a blessing to my family as we were able to say goodbye, and knew how much time we had left.
Also it was relief from great pain for him, and I'm so glad he was able to make that choice peacefully.
Will forever advocate for it."
It's truly shocking that euthanasia is illegal in many countries––and that it can even carry a jail sentence. It is a complicated issue that polarizes many people from different walks of life.
Where do you stand on this issue? Feel free to tell us in the comments below!
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Privilege is discussed quite a bit these days, and for good reason. So many people are able to live life longer, more peacefully, and freely than others thanks to factors they had no control over.
And yet, there is an element of popularity among the privileges discussed. People acknowledge their race, class, gender identity, sexual orientation, and citizenship status a lot.
That makes sense. Those are massively significant social realities that we need to grapple with constantly.
But there are some other privileges that we don't always think about. There are some things even more basic that not everybody gets to enjoy.
Observing them can make us all feel a bit more grateful.
Redditor Mburns15 asked:
"What is something most people don't realize is a privilege?"
Many called attention to the fact that the physical ability to interact with a majority of public infrastructure isn't a sure thing.
Always Calling Ahead
"Spontaneity in your daily plans. If you're a wheelchair user that's virtually impossible."
"So few places have accessible restrooms, some public transport needs contact 24 hours in advance in order to accommodate you, the list goes on."
"I envy people who can just go with the flow."
"Being able-bodied. So many people are one accident away from being unemployed and don't realize that. Your job will ruin your body - be aware and fight it."
A Silent Struggle
"Not having chronic pain" -- Aggravating_Okra_00
"Having energy to do what you want with your life. Trying to explain to people how exhausting and draining chronic pain can be. Having to explain the concept of energy budgets to people - sure I could come out and do $funthing with you, but then I wouldn't have the energy to cook and clean the house and would be useless at work tomorrow." -- Fraerie
Others chose to point out the very basic necessities that are far from ensured across the world.
To Be Comfortable
"Feeling safe in your own home. Not worrying about rats, mice, roaches, bed bugs, bricks being thrown through windows, violence outside, break ins."
"Privacy. I don't mean digital privacy, I mean a room with solid walls and a door that closes. Lots of people don't have that."
"Having access to water and a sewage system. Also the abundance of food in western super markets is quite frankly insane. Every day I try and spend a moment to reflect on how lucky I am."
"Sanitary products for women! It's different in different parts of the world + economic backgrounds"
And finally, a few people from countries around the world discussed the unique, intense struggles of living in a place that isn't embedded in the affluence of the Western world.
"Going about your daily life without seriously worrying about your physical safety. Sleeping at night without worrying about whether a bomb is going to come through your roof."
Not a Given
"Having the ability to express an opinion. Free speech is very censored in a lot of the world." -- BananaLCG
"Criticizing your own government." -- ipf000
The Ability to Think About Other Things
"Living in a good country, not having to spend your youth worrying about how to immigrate to good countries."
But before you think of this list as a big long guilt trip, imagine a more positive spin on this. There are so many things to feel grateful for, even when it seems like everything is working against you.
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