The way your significant other––or friends or acquaintances––interacts with their family can explain a lot about them, for better or worse. When Redditor MrDath asked the online community "What was your "that explains a lot" moment when you met someone's family?" the answers were about as revealing as you'd expect.
"A woman I know speaks very fast..."
A woman I know speaks very fast and in a loud voice, and can go for literally minutes at a time without stopping to let others speak.
I met her father, and he turned out to be the same way.
When they spoke, it was like two machine guns firing constantly at the same time, and never running out of ammo.
"An otherwise charming friend of mine..."
An otherwise charming friend of mine was oddly confrontational, seemingly for no reason.
I met her father for the first time when he was driving us somewhere. From the back seat I watched him subtly, passive aggressively put her down, all the time (he was a lawyer, he did this extremely skillfully). Normally her sudden verbal claps at people seemed out of place, but with him it appeared like an effective defence against his particular form of insulting.
Being confrontational was her defence mechanism whenever she felt insecure.
"She grew up having no idea..."
My ex was controlling, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. I met her parents, her mom was the exact same way and her dad was an absolute pushover. She grew up having no idea how to love someone in a healthy way.
"I thought it was just her particular brand of weirdness."
My wife seems like she gets distracted really easily but it's actually because she can't really differentiate between things that are time sensitive and thing that aren't. For example, if I ask her "could you pass me that spoon", she will go sit down and book the flights for our trip 6 months from now, because 'it needs to get done'. Then two hours later, she'll wonder why I grabbed the spoon myself.
I thought it was just her particular brand of weirdness. But nope, her whole family is like that. Trying to get them out the door is a nightmare because someone has always remembered something that they 'needed to do' (something that could always wait or should have been done hours ago) and by the time that person is back, another one has wandered off to do something else. It's like herding cats.
I should clarify, my wife (and her family) are remarkably organized in other ways. They get everything done that needs to be done, they just do things by order of importance rather than order of time-sensitivity.
"When I finally went to her house I was shocked."
One of my best friends. Met her in middle school. She always wore the same hoodie, two pairs of jeans, one pair of shoes that were busted out and duct taped together. Never judged her for it, I just felt bad figuring her family was super poor.
When I finally went to her house I was shocked. It was huge and in a super nice neighborhood. She had her own computer in her room (back then this was a big deal). I was blown away by all of this, my family was poorish but my shoes weren't duct taped together.
Turns out her mom was addicted to painkillers, and did nothing but sit in a chair reading, drinking wine, and chain
smoking all day every day. Her dad was also an alcoholic who was the head of a huge company in our state, so he was almost always working. I found out her parents simply never noticed she only had like one outfits worth of clothes and barely one pair of shoes. She didn't want to bother them asking for a new pair as her dad was almost always at work, and her mom was never in a good enough state to drive.
Later on in our friendship I straight up told her when I first met her I thought she was super poor and her response was "I am poor. My family has money, that doesn't mean I have money". To this day she's a hard worker and doesn't live off her parents money.
"You can talk to him but..."
GiphyBuddy of mine doesn't know how to have a conversation. You can talk to him but he never really listens to what you're saying. The entire time he is just thinking about what he is going to say next.
It's really noticeable in a group of people when the conversation has moved on to a different topic and he keeps going back to what he wants to talk about. Usually about himself.
He also brags about every single thing he does over and over and over.
Once I met his family and heard about his upbringing it all made sense. He's 1 of 5 children and had to fight for every bit of attention he had growing up. He doesn't know how to act any different.
"They are (for lack of better words) trailer park trash..."
My boyfriend is very independent and self reliant and won't accept any help from anyone, including me. It took him 3 months to finally let me buy our dinner, because he never wanted me to pay for his food. During Christmas, I met his family. They are (for lack of better words) trailer park trash, live off the government in any way they can, front teeth rotting and some missing, haven't showered in who knows how long, money grubbers, etc. My boyfriend explained he learned how to be an adult when he was very young to get away from them and he never wants to live his life like they do.
"She was this skinny, fair-featured girl..."
A friend of mine in high school was this peculiar mix of traits. She was this skinny, fair-featured girl who had very artsy tastes in music and things like that, but she was also 1000% ready to throw down with people who gave her shit.
I met her parents, and I swear to God it was like looking at a Venn diagram with my friend in the middle. The only way I can describe it is if Stevie Nicks was married to the boxing trainer from Rocky.
"I used to know a girl..."
I used to know a girl who would literally eat 4 different kinds of foods (pasta with no sauce, sandwich which consisted of bread with cheese or bread with hummus, apples, and one type of cornflakes), and would only drink apple juice, and hot chocolate. One day I was invited to stay over for a family dinner, and that's when I understood WHY she was like that. Apparently her parents are also EXTREMELY picky eaters. Later in life, when we were about 19 years old, she had an epiphany, and she also started eating potatoes.
"Her apartment was meticulous..."
I dated a girl that was very particular about everything being clean and orderly. Her apartment was meticulous - every detail "just so."
When she introduced me to her parents, I saw where it came from. I couldn't find a speck of dust or anything out of order - it was "clinically pristine," just like her place.
"I was dating a guy..."
GiphyI was dating a guy who was very reserved and he hated talking about sex, he wouldn't even laugh at sexual jokes... When I first met his parents, the dad opened the door, saw his son's beard and said « nice flavor savor » while winking at me. They were very nice, but the whole time we were there, it was innuendo after innuendo. I was with their son for awhile and they toned it down after I said it made me a uncomfortable, but I definitely understood why my bf hated talking about anything to do with sex.
"...we thought he was just crazy..."
Have a friend who is very kind but very anxious to make sure what he says is heard as it is intended, will repeat himself many times, apologize again and again for nothing... we thought he was just crazy until we were in the same room as he was having a phone conversation with his father. Apparently his dad required everything said to him to be repeated about four times. It had just become a habit.
"At dinner I grab the cocktail sauce..."
Went to sister in law's parents' house for a "dinner party" before they got married. Sister in law is...a bit tough to please to say the least. Get to the house and instantly realize she grew up filthy rich. Everything in the house was way too nice, smooth jazz playing lightly in the background, entire night has been scheduled out (mingling and appetizers in the den, dinner with the special crystal glassware, games and coffee in the living room, etc)
At dinner I grab the cocktail sauce and put a spoonful onto one of the many unnecessary plates to compliment the pre portioned 2 shrimp I was given on a stupid bed of lettuce. Instantly her mother stands up, grabs my plate forcefully, stomps off to the kitchen and washes my plate off. She comes back and says "wrong plate". I feel very bad for my brother.
"I have a friend that always interrupts people."
I have a friend that always interrupts people. Weird thing is, I'm pretty sure he doesn't even notice that he does it. Anyway, I met his dad one day, and although the guy is really cool, he never stopped talking. So interrupting is probably the only way my friend got a word in while growing up.
"My boyfriend has no concept of time..."
My boyfriend has no concept of time whatsoever. If I tell him we need to leave by 4 pm he will start his hour of showering and getting ready at 3:45. Went to his parents to ride together to a wedding one day and it all clicked for me why he is like this. We needed to leave in 20 mins and his mom was still in her pajamas not showered or anything. Happens all the time, parties, dinner reservations, holidays, you name it. They just don't care about time. Irritates the hell outta me.
"Always leaving cans everywhere..."
My current roommate is just a messy damn dude. Always leaving cans everywhere whenever he drinks and not picking them up, kitchen is always a disaster, can never remember to take shoes off in the house, and has near zero control of his volume, always yelling at the top of his lungs at 10pm on a Wednesday whenever his show makes a funny joke. His gf has been getting him a lot more hospitable making him chew with his mouth closed and follow other basic manners (he's 23). I always thought "god your poor mother must have her hands full 24/7" until I went to pick his dog up from his mom's house, who now has all her kids moved out. Jesus Christ if my house looks like that when I am 50 years old I want you to take me out back and put a bullet in my head.
"I have this roommate..."
I have this roommate who is one of these only children who was just coddled his whole life so naturally he can barely function on his own.
We are doing most of our food and other consumables separately (there are 3 people living here). It is however normal to just share TP as well as whatever small things my roommates might need.
Early on after he moved in, he blew through some consumable items of mine quite quickly and didn't seem to be buying his own. I brought this issue up with him and thought it was resolved until his mother came to our appt in a passive agressive rage, telling me that I'm a bad person and just chewing me out. Roommates personality made a lot more sense after seeing his mother.
"My husband is a super loud talker..."
My husband is a super loud talker and my family is quiet because my dad would tear us apart for being "too loud" (he worked for the railroad so sleep happened whenever) also our games had to be very quiet and we were like mice. So I was so annoyed and anxious at my husband for being so loud all the time.
I met his family. THEY ARE ALL SO LOUD!!!! Like I thought they were arguing and fighting, nope just having a discussion like everyone was half deaf. I have no clue why they are this way, they just kinda are. I'm used to it now and now I'm kinda loud too.
"He's still late a lot..."
I had a friend who was always late to EVERYTHING. School, band rehearsals, hangouts, you name it, he was always late, anywhere between 10 mins to an hour.
One day I hung out at his house as we were about to go to a basketball game, and I met his mother. Before he left the house, she would give him an ever increasing list of chores (did you make your bed? Vaccuum the lounge? Dust the cat?) and then insist he eat a sandwich (all of it down to the last crumb) THEN list all the chores he would have to do when he got home and/or tell him off for not doing a good job the first time...
He's still late a lot, but now it's his own fault, not his mother's!
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.