People Divulge The Absolute Worst Excuses Their Ex Ever Gave For Cheating On Them
It's never a good feeling to learn that your partner has been unfaithful.
Hearing this news almost instantly gets your mind racing, wondering what it was which led them to do this.
"Was I not present enough?"
"Have I let myself go?"
"Do they not love me anymore?"
If there's anything that could make you feel any worse than this sad list of possibilities, it's whenever they try to justify their behavior.
Often coming up with the most ludicrous excuses for breaking their partner's hearts, which they somehow thought might actually work or at least earn them a little sympathy.
When the only thing they likely got was an open door and a swift goodbye.
Redditor Starboy3210 was curious to hear some of the most ludicrous excuses people had to justify their infidelity, leading them to ask:
"People of Reddit, what is the dumbest reason your (ex) partner gave for cheating?"
So Much For "Till Death do Us Part".
"'You are dying! Do you really want me alone when you are dead?'"
"I was fighting cancer."
"He also told me that I was disgusting and he felt gross touching me."
"Luckily, both types of cancer are out of my life."- Mr_BigDuck
You Could Have At Least Left A Message!
"'You didn't answer your phone, was I supposed to spend Saturday night alone?'"
"I was at work, and so were you, we worked together you f*cking moron."- sixesand7s
Love At First Sight... Or Not
"She met someone that she immediately saw herself marrying."
"A month after we broke up she moved across the country, got married, called me to tell me she made a mistake, got divorced, moved back home, got pregnant and then got married again."- Zarrush
Gonna Have To Do Better Than That...
"Her response once I caught her was that she was flat-out horny."
"But after I said that’s why you have a boyfriend it was kinda funny how she went dead silent."- PuzzleheadedFarm7417
"He said that he cheated on me because I wanted to have too much sex."
"More than 5 years later I still can't find any logic in that."- Etrixie
So Much For Commitment
"'It's not like we're married'."
"Apparently I can't expect respect from someone who goes from calling me 'love of my life' to blowing her high school shag toy when he comes back to town."- FortGeekCartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphy
It Never Is...
“'It’s not what you think it is!'”
"After I walked in on them making out."
"While she was on his lap."
"Both without shirts."- MrSirChris
Two Whole Weeks...
"I couldn't have sex for two weeks so I could recover from surgery so she thought it wasn't cheating'."- Henchforhire
What The Actual...
"My ex-girlfriend said I forgot you were alive."
"For details, I wasn't in the military, I was at university."- Ali8lyscared star wars GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy
That Only Makes It Worse
"It was his kid's mom so it didn't count."- kittenxx96
"In Sickness And In Health"...Oops!
“'I have needs for sex you aren’t helping me with!'"
"Said to me the day I get home from spending a week in the hospital with kidney failure (lupus)."- EndlesslyUnfinished
We Can Only "Open" Our Hearts So Much...
"Well, I know this guy that was convinced he was in an open relationship, except he forgot to let his girlfriend know.."
"She found out 7 years into the 'open relationship'."
"With multiple women, in 4 continents."
"Oh he also had a book where he'd categorize them."- ProfessionalSpite866Episode 2 Player GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"My serial cheater ex-once told me while in a fit of tears."
"'I can't stop cheating, I just have so many issues, my mom lied about Santa when I was a kid and it really f*cked me up'."
"'I don't think I can trust people because of it so I cheat'."- pastelflorist
No One Likes To Be Treated Like A Piece Of Meat...
“It’s like if you order the same subway sandwich for a year, eventually you’re gonna get bored of it."
"But you try another flavor and when you go back to the original one it’s better than you remembered'.”
"Felt not so good being compared to a 6 inch BLT tbh."- NucularOrchid
Oh, nothing, except commitment and fidelity...
"'She was prettier than you, what did you expect?'"
"We were engaged and had been dating for 3 years."- kathjoy
No doubt all these poor people are grateful for dodging the bullet that staying with these people would have been.
Even if it can't quite make up for the pain and embarrassment these experiences brought them.
People Explain Which Books They Read In School That They'd Never Let Their Kids Read Today
CW: graphic depictions of novels.
When I was in eighth-grade honors English, our first book of the year was Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. Unlike with other books, our eyes didn't glaze over as we read. In fact, we were enthralled.
We were very invested in the characters, we all cried at the end, and even though the book didn't have a happy ending, we bonded through the sadness and were still happy we were able to read the book.
My mom, who passed on her love of reading to me, always read the books we were assigned for school. She hated this one.
While she could appreciate the story and understood it was a product of its time, she thought the story, especially the end, maybe a bit inappropriate for students my age. She was not the type to make a stink about things, but she let me know her feelings.
My mom's opinion was not all that unique. There are lots of parents who weren't always fans of what their kids had to read for school.
Sometimes it's because they would've liked their child to be a little older when they read a particular book. This was my mom's complaint about Of Mice and Men. Other people don't think particular books are appropriate for school at all.
Those people took to Reddit to share what books they read in school that they wouldn't want their kids to read in school today...at least, not until they are a little older.
It all started when Redditor masterbuildera asked:
"What book did you read in school that you would never want your child to read?"
"My 5th grade teacher read the Stephen King short story Survival Type to the class. For those who haven’t read: the narrator / mc is a drug smuggler who crash lands his plane on a deserted island. He ends up doing all the heroin he recovered from the crash and cannibalizes himself. We didn’t know at the time our teacher had early onset dementia..."
"Holy sh*t! I was in my mid 30s when I heard that story(was listening to the audio book) and was cooking dinner. Had to save all of the food for later, no way I could eat after listening to that. I can't believe a teacher read that."
"“Microsoft Publisher 98 for Dummies”"
"Seems kinda pointless at this stage."
"imagine dragging your tik tok watching kid trough that today"
""A Day No Pigs Would Die" was pretty rough in 6th grade. Basically Charlotte's web with HAUNTINGLY graphic depictions of animal husbandry and slaughter. I don't remember getting a lot of value out of it at 11 years old, just pig-blood soaked nightmares lol"
"I recall being in 6th grade and a fellow student writing a book report on an erotic novel she had read about an extremely overweight man collapsing on a sex worker while mid intercourse and she rips off his jaw and uses it to sever off one of his limbs and get out from under him."
"I remember being 13 years old and thinking “this is pretty f*cked up for a 13 year old.”"
"Holy crap. Yes, that’s a bit much. In that vein, Flowers in the Attic and the rest of the series."
"Maybe this isn’t the question, but I read A Child Called ‘It’ as an elementary aged child. I bought it at the school’s Scholastic Book Fair, and was maybe 9 years old. Why on earth they thought that was an appropriate book for small children to be purchasing and reading, I will never know. The 90’s were a trip."
WAY Too Early
"I was in a gifted class and we read 1984...in the fourth grade. Great piece of literature, but maybe a titch intense for nine-year-olds, y'know?"
Father Knows Best
"The Kite Runner....my dad saw me pick that up at a book store when I was in the 7th grade and he said no, I wasn't allowed to read that till I got older. Me being the rebellious little sh*t I was convinced my friend to buy it and we took turns reading it. Yeah that book is not for kids....I learnt some things that day :("
"I read The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns in high school, they were trauma in paperback form."
"A thousand splendid suns BROKE my heart. Beautiful book, but traumatic."
"Same. Read it in college undergrad actually and was destroyed and cannot imagine how my emotional maturity would have been affected had it come out a few years earlier. Still one of my favorite books and authors of all time. Haunts me to this day."
"I know it’s weak, but the ending to Of Mice and Men really messed up my 13 year old brain."
"My English class read it together (taking it in turns to read aloud) when I was 16 and it was a lovely experience - we hated it at first, and then by the end we were invested, and a bunch of people cried - including the cool girls who usually sat at the back giggling. My friends and I read ahead and knew the ending. We didn't spoil, but we were smug about knowing what was coming!"
"Probably a bit heavy for a 13yo though."
"We read the stage version at my high school, not as homework but as a sort of "table read" where we went around the classroom with everyone taking a turn to read a line/lines."
"I don't think I'd ever seen the entire class so invested in something. Not just kids approaching my own level of nerdiness, but everyone - even the troublemakers and barely literate kids. It kinda blew my friggin' mind. And then, when we finished the story (over the course of a few classes, I think), we all suffered together through the ending. Trauma bonding, yaaaay!"
"Honestly, that book was probably the only worthwhile book in our curriculum, as far as I can remember."
Easy As 1, 2, 3
"A lesson book on calculus now that's hell"
"There are 3 kinds of people in this world:"
"Those that understand math, and those that don't."
"Was given The Things They Carried in HS and had nightmares for weeks because I had a brother overseas in combat at the time. Part of me never wants my kids to read it because of how much it negatively effected me, which I know isn't a good reason. I do think it is a worthwhile book but it will always, always make me uncomfortable."
The Wrong Message
"Hear me out, this is a weird take:"
"Cyrano de Bergerac"
"Not because it isn't a good story, it is. But because I think high school boys get the wrong message from it and it fuels this incel, neckbeard fantasy of "I am truly special, and I will pursue this woman until she realizes how special I am. She only likes that other guy because he's cute, it definitely isn't that I'm an a**hole." I don't think that's healthy for them, I think a lot of them don't get that it's satire because it's in middle english."
"I'm not saying they can't read it, but it shouldn't be required as part of the curriculum either (it was for me at least)."
"I’d go nose to nose with you about this one. (Not really, you’re right and make good points.)"
Not A Kid's Book
"I still wish I hadn’t read Where the Red Fern Grows though…cause I haven’t stopped crying and it’s been 25 years."
"I was assigned this as a first grader. Apparently the teacher hadn't finished the book to know how truly traumatic the last chapter is. Plus the boy that bleeds out (that blood bubble on his lips always stuck with me). I reread it recently and cried so f*cking hard"
"I remember in I think my freshman year (hs), one of my friends who isn't a reader wanted a book suggestion when we had to pick one from the library. One of the first I looked at was Where the Red Fern Grows, I recalled it being good and gave it to him. Teacher refused it because it "was a kid's book.""
"I mean yeah, but f*ck you, no."
Oof! Yeah, that one was a hard one to get through.
People Break Down Which Famous Figures Didn't Deserve All The Hate They Got
What do we really know about famous people?
Not much if we're honest.
But that doesn't stop us from prying into their lives and dissecting and destroying it.
It feels like society needs to have people to build up and tear down.
Is it that we all need an enemy?
Or is it just another form of reality tv?
So many people, celebrity and non-celebrity have been heaped on with vitriol.
Their lives often take a downturn.
Then in hindsight, upon re-examing, we learn maybe society went too far.
And those people too were just trying to survive.
Redditor wild-wolf-woman wanted to name the people we all may owe a few apologies to, so they asked:
"What famous person didn't deserve all the hate that they got?"
As a Madonna fan.
I'm livid with many people.
She didn't deserve any of the trash thrown at her.
KevinScreaming Macaulay Culkin GIF by Home AloneGiphy
"For Redditors old enough to remember, the young Home Alone star got a bunch of hate for being a spoiled brat when he sued to divorce his parents."
"The truth of the matter is his father was a physically abusive a**hole, and his parents were going to take the $15-20M he earned from acting and leave Macaulay with nothing."
"Ignaz Philipp Semmelweis"
"He was a Hungarian physician and scientist, described as the 'savior of mothers.' He proposed the practice of washing hands with chlorinated lime solutions in 1847 while working in Vienna General Hospital's First Obstetrical Clinic, where doctors' wards had three times the mortality of midwive's wards."
"Some doctors were offended at the suggestion that they should wash their hands and mocked him for it. In 1865 he allegedly suffered a nervous breakdown and was committed to an asylum by his colleagues. In the asylum, he was beaten by the guards. He died 14 days later from a gangrenous wound on his right hand that may have been caused by the beating. His findings earned widespread acceptance only years after his death, when Louis Pasteur confirmed the germ theory."
She Deserved Better
"Lindsey Lohan- overworked and used by her parents."
"Was looking through the comments to see if Lindsey Lohan would be mentioned. not to mention the disgusting behavior of the media and the public in regard to her addiction issues. that one David Letterman interview with her is almost unbearable to watch. she deserves a huge apology from the world."
"Guy Fiere is in the same vein. His entire career is giving small businesses a national platform and boosting them up, hiring folks most others won't, and being a huge advocate for LGBTQ rights (including officiating gay weddings) but because his shirt is on fire and it looks like he got electrocuted by mountain dew that spun his glasses around, everybody is so mean to him."
"He also goes out to disaster areas and serves food to emergency workers. He was here in Santa Cruz County during the 2020 CZU Lightning Complex Fire serving free food. Genuinely cool guy."
Chillf. murray abraham amadeus GIF by MauditGiphy
"Salieri. Pretty chill dude. Mozart's biggest supporter. Lent him his librettist so he could write Figaro. Took care of Mozart's kid after he passed away."
"That's a damn good movie, though. But it also does him dirty as well."
That movie. That play. Those people.
The best and worst of drama.
Let her sing...friday rebecca black GIFGiphy
"Rebecca Black got death threats for her song Friday. It's just a song, an annoying one, but just a song guys."
"Parents of Azaria were ridiculed and hounded by the press and the grieving mother's statement became a pop culture reference. They were accused of murdering their child. Many years later it was finally proven that a Dingo had, in fact, eaten their baby."
"Lindy Chamberlain was, in fact, found guilty of murdering her child and sent to jail for a number of years. Her conviction was overturned, and it's now accepted that a dingo was responsible."
"However, jokes about it are still made. I can't imagine how awful it must be to have the world laugh for decades over your child's horrific death."
Blame it on the Rain
"Milli Vanilli. They were a late 80’s R&B duo who were 'exposed' for lip-syncing their music during a live performance on MTV. In reality, the two members Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus were capable singers and performers, but their record label didn’t allow them to sing on their records or during live performances. They had signed their record contract in German, a language neither of them spoke, and actively fought with the label behind the scenes to sing and perform their own songs."
"After being 'exposed,' they were forced to relinquish their Best New Artist Grammies, and their label toured the actual singers as 'The Real Milli Vanilli.' The media backlash was severe, and Rob Pilatus fell victim to addiction. He overdosed and died in the late 90’s."
"Rob could speak German. Most of this information is from a Fab Morvan interview, and when he said he couldn’t speak German, I wrongfully assumed neither of them could. My mistake."
"Mama Cass Elliot."
"She was an absolutely beautiful, intensely powerful voice. But because she was... gasp fat, in the 60s-70s she was bullied relentlessly by the media."
"She died of heart failure and a random doctor said she 'could’ve died choking on a ham sandwich.' The media just dropped articles that that is how she died. If there is any reason for me to despise older generations it’s how they treated Mama Cass."
They Tried...anakin skywalker GIFGiphy
"Hayden Christensen, who played Anakin and the child actor of Anakin. They both got sooo much hate... and I still don't get why."
We really need to do better as a people.
So much judgement.
People Explain Which Everyday Things Are Actually Deadly That Most Folks Don't Know About
Every time we wake up... it's a MIRACLE!!
Nothing is promised.
Not one day.
Not one breath.
The hazards are everywhere.
There are foods we shouldn't eat.
People we should avoid.
And health regimes we may really need to try.
Life is booby-trapped.
It's time to make a survivor's how to list.
Redditor gaudiergash wanted to warn everyone about all the simple things that threaten our lives on the daily, so they asked:
"What are some everyday things that kill people because most don't know about it?"
Danger is all around.
Don't ForgetWarning Sign GIFGiphy
"Carbon Monoxide is something everyone knows about but everyone also seems to forget about."
"Knew a girl from school, she and her family were all killed from carbon monoxide poisoning while staying at a cabin on New Year's weekend 2017. Her husband and two young kids. I still think about them going to bed, never to awaken."
Reach the Brain
"Poor dental hygiene and gum infections hit the brain fairly quickly and can be fatal before you even knew something was happening. So brush your teeth and talk to a dentist, most will try to work with you on the money side if you don't have insurance. If not try contacting a dental school near you, they are often looking for test subjects, I mean patients to work on for training."
"True stuff... this just killed my cousin."
"I know of a few things, all fire-related..."
"1. Pinched electrical wires - having, for example, a table leg or something on top of a wire creates a hot spot that can eventually start a fire."
"2. Toasters under cabinets - if you have a toaster on your countertop, and have cabinets mounted above that countertop, leaving the toaster directly under the cabinets while in use is also a fire hazard. be sure to pull it out from beneath the cabinets before use."
"3. Not sure if this one is still unknown by most people, but I'll add it just in case - water does not put out a grease fire, it makes it worse because the grease/oil is less dense and floats on top of the water and continues to burn, so pouring water on a grease fire is likely to just spread the grease and fire around. baking soda, a lid/cover of some kind, or of course a fire extinguisher will all smother the fire without spreading it around."
"Stress. Stress is a state when your body feels threatened and produces a hormone to defend yourself, which will typically boost your muscle and reduce to minimum other functions, like digestion, your kidneys, and overall all organs that aren't involved in fighting off a bear."
"If you're always stressed (Chronic stress), you will damage your organs. All of them. At once. Chronic stress is a poison, you must avoid it."
"Note that 'normal, episodic' stress like you're taking an exam today or you have 13 missed calls from mom isn't going to kill you. Well, not the stress at least."
Drink UpSeason 7 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"Once read about someone who died when they had the flu - they were medicating with over-the-counter cold and flu medicine and drinking multiple cups of lemsip, one after the other, not realizing lemsip also contained painkillers. they died of an overdose."
I never knew the flu was so dangerous until COVID.
It only takes a sneeze.
The BIG Bullet!Driving Action Movie GIF by James Bond 007Giphy
"People are not nearly careful enough driving vehicles. you are operating a 2,000lb bullet, please stop texting and pay attention."
"Mixing cleaning supplies. Cleaners are usually dangerous chemicals, mixing certain chemicals can create dangerous gases. One of the common cleaner mistakes people make is dish soap and bleach, a lot of dish soaps have ammonia in them, and you don’t want to be around the gas that ammonia and chlorine make. Also, don’t clean your kitty litter with bleach, use chlorine-free disinfectants instead. Cat pee naturally has ammonia in it and can cause a reaction too."
"High blood pressure."
"High BP also presents as just a headache for some. I had preeclampsia and after the baby was born I kept getting these headaches, to be honest, they weren't that painful but I felt foggy and just, off. Come to find out my BP was so high I needed 3 rounds of magnesium to bring it back to normal."
"Bites from the wrong flea/mosquito/tick have been decimating mankind since forever."
"If your tick bite gets a bullseye shape around it, go to the doctor, possible Lyme disease."
"If your spider bite gets raised and white, go to the doctor, possible necrotic lesions from recluse."
"Don't live in fear of these things and squash everything with crawly legs. Do some research (tons of bug info online free from many universities, tons of insect/spider/etc subreddits), and be smart. Wear tall socks in long grass and check yourself and your pets."
Red Pukeseason 9 berries GIFGiphy
"Elderberries are poisonous until you boil them. My mom works at a school where a teacher lets some kids eat them because she didn’t know they were poisonous. Red puke everywhere. I also had a friend post a picture on Facebook of her son eating them."
Why are berries so dangerous?
I love them. Darn it!
People Confess Which Things They Hope To Witness In Their Lifetime
Life is complicated, but there are so many things that are worth being thankful for, even in the day-to-day.
But of course, there are some things that we would love to see in our lifetimes that would make living that much sweeter.
Redditor moltingtoupee asked:
"What is something you hope to witness in your lifetime?"
Not Even Gonna Lie...
"An Armored car spilling a sack of money in front of me and not noticing."
"I once met a British couple who were camping in the Canadian Rockies for their 25th wedding anniversary. We had a few beers around the campfire. At some point, the woman said the only thing she was a bit sad about this trip was not seeing northern lights. She always wanted to see one."
"We keep chatting and at some point after a few beers, nature called. I went to do my thing and as I was out of the fire’s light, I looked up and could see that great northern light dancing in the sky. I came back to the fire and took the couple away in the dark to show them. She was soooo thrilled."
"So you never know when it will happen to you."
The Lives This Would Change
"A treatment for Alzheimer's. That s**t is terrifying."
"This is my pick, too. Watching my grandmother succumb to it, and it broke my heart. I’m afraid my mom is next, followed by me or one of my sisters."
Cheering Our Loved Ones On
"All of my daughter's milestones in life. Until it's my time to go, I hope I get to see her grow up to be a beautiful smart caring woman."
"Faster than light travel (minus any relativistic effects that make it impossible to come home at the sameish time, etc)."
"I know it's weird, but I find the thought of being confined to our little solar system a bit depressing when there's a whole universe out there."
"To see Halley's comet for the second time in 2061."
"If I can't live to see Halley's Comet (I should be 76), then I'd die happy knowing I get to see the total solar eclipse next year as my runner-up."
Who's Out There
"Sometimes I think I'd like to see that too... But the way the last few years have been going, we'd expect the Vulcans and get Xenomorphs instead."
"Or the Vogons."
...What's That Like?
"My life full of happiness with no stress."
"I hope to witness the day when autocorrect finally stops turning 'F**king' into 'Ducking.'"
"To see the Pacific Ocean, early morning, crispness to the air, wrapped in a blanket, sitting alone on the beach..."
"I am in central Kentucky, and this seems so far away to me. I can only imagine what the peace and tranquility would be to stare out and see nothing but water, clear to the horizon."
One Small Step For Man...
"For man to walk on Mars..."
Outside the Box
"A US President elected from a third party."
"To find out what truly happened to Flight MH370."
"I'm pretty sure it will appear back on the radar in 10 years and none of the passengers will have aged or be aware of the time jump and Stephen King was the reason for it all."
"I legit looked this up last night to see if there have been any advancements in the theory or new evidence. I hadn't thought about it in a couple of years. (I know that I'm lucky to not think about it all of the time. There are so many poor families that don't have this luxury and they still don't have concrete answers, which is heartbreaking.)"
"A supernova event that lights up the sky. Even if it’s extremely unlikely, the most likely would be Betelgeuse or Antares."
Time to Unite
"The middle class, working class, and poor realizing that they have more in common than the Upper class and super wealthy."
It's always heartwarming to see when people are asked what they would most like to see changed, or want to see in their lifetime, they're less concerned about gainful wealth or arbitrary things, and more so in nature's wonders and cures for diseases.
Life might not always be perfect, but there are absolutely things to keep looking up for.