People Divulge The Absolute Worst Excuses Their Ex Ever Gave For Cheating On Them

It's never a good feeling to learn that your partner has been unfaithful.

Hearing this news almost instantly gets your mind racing, wondering what it was which led them to do this.

"Was I not present enough?"

"Have I let myself go?"

"Do they not love me anymore?"

If there's anything that could make you feel any worse than this sad list of possibilities, it's whenever they try to justify their behavior.

Often coming up with the most ludicrous excuses for breaking their partner's hearts, which they somehow thought might actually work or at least earn them a little sympathy.

When the only thing they likely got was an open door and a swift goodbye.


Redditor Starboy3210 was curious to hear some of the most ludicrous excuses people had to justify their infidelity, leading them to ask:
"People of Reddit, what is the dumbest reason your (ex) partner gave for cheating?"

So Much For "Till Death do Us Part".

"'You are dying! Do you really want me alone when you are dead?'"

"I was fighting cancer."

"He also told me that I was disgusting and he felt gross touching me."

"Luckily, both types of cancer are out of my life."- Mr_BigDuck

You Could Have At Least Left A Message!

"'You didn't answer your phone, was I supposed to spend Saturday night alone?'"

"I was at work, and so were you, we worked together you f*cking moron."- sixesand7s

Love At First Sight... Or Not

"She met someone that she immediately saw herself marrying."

"A month after we broke up she moved across the country, got married, called me to tell me she made a mistake, got divorced, moved back home, got pregnant and then got married again."- Zarrush

Gonna Have To Do Better Than That...

"Her response once I caught her was that she was flat-out horny."

"But after I said that’s why you have a boyfriend it was kinda funny how she went dead silent."- PuzzleheadedFarm7417

Um...

"He said that he cheated on me because I wanted to have too much sex."

"More than 5 years later I still can't find any logic in that."- Etrixie

So Much For Commitment

"'It's not like we're married'."

"Apparently I can't expect respect from someone who goes from calling me 'love of my life' to blowing her high school shag toy when he comes back to town."- FortGeek

Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphy

It Never Is...

“'It’s not what you think it is!'”

"After I walked in on them making out."

"While she was on his lap."

"Both without shirts."- MrSirChris

Two Whole Weeks...

"I couldn't have sex for two weeks so I could recover from surgery so she thought it wasn't cheating'."- Henchforhire

What The Actual...

"My ex-girlfriend said I forgot you were alive."

"For details, I wasn't in the military, I was at university."- Ali8ly

scared star wars GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy

That Only Makes It Worse

"It was his kid's mom so it didn't count."- kittenxx96

"In Sickness And In Health"...Oops!

“'I have needs for sex you aren’t helping me with!'"

"Said to me the day I get home from spending a week in the hospital with kidney failure (lupus)."- EndlesslyUnfinished

We Can Only "Open" Our Hearts So Much...

"Well, I know this guy that was convinced he was in an open relationship, except he forgot to let his girlfriend know.."

"She found out 7 years into the 'open relationship'."

"With multiple women, in 4 continents."

"Oh he also had a book where he'd categorize them."- ProfessionalSpite866

Episode 2 Player GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy

Santa? SANTA?!?!

"My serial cheater ex-once told me while in a fit of tears."

"'I can't stop cheating, I just have so many issues, my mom lied about Santa when I was a kid and it really f*cked me up'."

"'I don't think I can trust people because of it so I cheat'."- pastelflorist

No One Likes To Be Treated Like A Piece Of Meat...

“It’s like if you order the same subway sandwich for a year, eventually you’re gonna get bored of it."

"But you try another flavor and when you go back to the original one it’s better than you remembered'.”

"Felt not so good being compared to a 6 inch BLT tbh."- NucularOrchid

Oh, nothing, except commitment and fidelity...

"'She was prettier than you, what did you expect?'"

"We were engaged and had been dating for 3 years."- kathjoy

No doubt all these poor people are grateful for dodging the bullet that staying with these people would have been.

Even if it can't quite make up for the pain and embarrassment these experiences brought them.

books on brown wooden shelf
Photo by Susan Q Yin on Unsplash

CW: graphic depictions of novels.

When I was in eighth-grade honors English, our first book of the year was Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. Unlike with other books, our eyes didn't glaze over as we read. In fact, we were enthralled.

We were very invested in the characters, we all cried at the end, and even though the book didn't have a happy ending, we bonded through the sadness and were still happy we were able to read the book.

My mom, who passed on her love of reading to me, always read the books we were assigned for school. She hated this one.

While she could appreciate the story and understood it was a product of its time, she thought the story, especially the end, maybe a bit inappropriate for students my age. She was not the type to make a stink about things, but she let me know her feelings.

My mom's opinion was not all that unique. There are lots of parents who weren't always fans of what their kids had to read for school.

Sometimes it's because they would've liked their child to be a little older when they read a particular book. This was my mom's complaint about Of Mice and Men. Other people don't think particular books are appropriate for school at all.

Those people took to Reddit to share what books they read in school that they wouldn't want their kids to read in school today...at least, not until they are a little older.

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