It's never a good feeling to learn that your partner has been unfaithful.
Hearing this news almost instantly gets your mind racing, wondering what it was which led them to do this.
"Was I not present enough?"
"Have I let myself go?"
"Do they not love me anymore?"
If there's anything that could make you feel any worse than this sad list of possibilities, it's whenever they try to justify their behavior.
Often coming up with the most ludicrous excuses for breaking their partner's hearts, which they somehow thought might actually work or at least earn them a little sympathy.
When the only thing they likely got was an open door and a swift goodbye.
Redditor Starboy3210 was curious to hear some of the most ludicrous excuses people had to justify their infidelity, leading them to ask:
"People of Reddit, what is the dumbest reason your (ex) partner gave for cheating?"
So Much For "Till Death do Us Part".
"'You are dying! Do you really want me alone when you are dead?'"
"I was fighting cancer."
"He also told me that I was disgusting and he felt gross touching me."
"Luckily, both types of cancer are out of my life."- Mr_BigDuck
You Could Have At Least Left A Message!
"'You didn't answer your phone, was I supposed to spend Saturday night alone?'"
"I was at work, and so were you, we worked together you f*cking moron."- sixesand7s
Love At First Sight... Or Not
"She met someone that she immediately saw herself marrying."
"A month after we broke up she moved across the country, got married, called me to tell me she made a mistake, got divorced, moved back home, got pregnant and then got married again."- Zarrush
Gonna Have To Do Better Than That...
"Her response once I caught her was that she was flat-out horny."
"But after I said that’s why you have a boyfriend it was kinda funny how she went dead silent."- PuzzleheadedFarm7417
Um...
"He said that he cheated on me because I wanted to have too much sex."
"More than 5 years later I still can't find any logic in that."- Etrixie
So Much For Commitment
"'It's not like we're married'."
"Apparently I can't expect respect from someone who goes from calling me 'love of my life' to blowing her high school shag toy when he comes back to town."- FortGeek
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyIt Never Is...
“'It’s not what you think it is!'”
"After I walked in on them making out."
"While she was on his lap."
"Both without shirts."- MrSirChris
Two Whole Weeks...
"I couldn't have sex for two weeks so I could recover from surgery so she thought it wasn't cheating'."- Henchforhire
What The Actual...
"My ex-girlfriend said I forgot you were alive."
"For details, I wasn't in the military, I was at university."- Ali8ly
scared star wars GIF by Hyper RPGGiphyThat Only Makes It Worse
"It was his kid's mom so it didn't count."- kittenxx96
"In Sickness And In Health"...Oops!
“'I have needs for sex you aren’t helping me with!'"
"Said to me the day I get home from spending a week in the hospital with kidney failure (lupus)."- EndlesslyUnfinished
We Can Only "Open" Our Hearts So Much...
"Well, I know this guy that was convinced he was in an open relationship, except he forgot to let his girlfriend know.."
"She found out 7 years into the 'open relationship'."
"With multiple women, in 4 continents."
"Oh he also had a book where he'd categorize them."- ProfessionalSpite866
Episode 2 Player GIF by ABC NetworkGiphySanta? SANTA?!?!
"My serial cheater ex-once told me while in a fit of tears."
"'I can't stop cheating, I just have so many issues, my mom lied about Santa when I was a kid and it really f*cked me up'."
"'I don't think I can trust people because of it so I cheat'."- pastelflorist
No One Likes To Be Treated Like A Piece Of Meat...
“It’s like if you order the same subway sandwich for a year, eventually you’re gonna get bored of it."
"But you try another flavor and when you go back to the original one it’s better than you remembered'.”
"Felt not so good being compared to a 6 inch BLT tbh."- NucularOrchid
Oh, nothing, except commitment and fidelity...
"'She was prettier than you, what did you expect?'"
"We were engaged and had been dating for 3 years."- kathjoy
No doubt all these poor people are grateful for dodging the bullet that staying with these people would have been.
Even if it can't quite make up for the pain and embarrassment these experiences brought them.
Redditor rockytheboxer asked:
"What common misconception infuriates you?"
I try to be calm. But anything can infuriate me.
So let's chat.
Lies
Cat Zoom In GIF by Paul TrilloGiphy"That you can zoom in on a digital picture and it gets more clear."
skotgil
Not Simple
"The Dunning-Krueger Effect."
"It's not as simple as dumb people overestimating their intelligence while smart people underestimate it. Once you feel 100% certain in your knowledge, all new information looks like misinformation. Once you believe yourself an 'expert,' you're far less receptive to facts that contradict your position. Self-doubt is what keeps your mind open; the nagging sense that what you 'know' might not be true is what motivates intelligent people to keep pursuing knowledge."
"Studies even show the DK Effect actually horseshoes."
"People at the very bottom and the top tend to over-emphasize their own intelligence. When leading scientists are disproven by new discoveries, it's not uncommon them personally reject the new science. The 'Nobel Disease' describes when Nobel Prize-winners go on to become quacks, believing their 'genius' qualifies them as experts in things outside their expertise."
Rowan-Trees
37
"Life expectancy. People think hundreds of years ago you died at 40. Completely false. Infant mortality was extremely high so the average is skewed. If you made it out of infancy you had a pretty good chance of becoming old."
boludo1
"So much this. If half the people born die at age 2 and the other half die at 72, the average life expectancy is 37, but that doesn't mean 'everyone died at 37.'"
bulbaquil
Higher Levels
"'If they give me a raise at work, I'll bump up a tax bracket, and I'll actually make less!!'"
Mymoggievan
"Oh man, I just came here to say this. Had a high-level staff meeting last week to discuss how our company will be changing from weekly checks to bi-weekly."
"The uproar, because they were gonna get 'taxed more' was hilarious. I literally had to draw a crude graph for folks who’ve been on this Earth for decades longer than I have in order to explain how a progressive income tax works. My eyes are still rolling."
Bokuden101
Ruined
Angry Season 3 GIF by Paramount+Giphy"O.C.D. is not some cute obsession with cleanliness and order. It can ruin lives and comes in many forms."
Leeser
"I also hate when people play armchair psychologist."
Leeser
There is such a thing as too clean. Right?
Colors
season 1 friends GIFGiphy"As a colorblind person, I don't see in black and white. I have no problem driving. And I will never play the 'What color is this?' game. Not ever."
Midnight-Ran
'women’s work'
"The quote 'well-behaved women seldom make history' is frequently misquoted. Professor Laurel Ulrich stated this in a 1976 essay that details how women in early America have been lost to history as their stories weren’t considered important by those who wrote history."
"Her quote is not meant to minimize the lives of women who perform stereotypical 'women’s work' such as mothers and wives, but to stress the issue of women’s voices being lost in history."
"I think it’s important to support women who do not live within these archetypes, but not at the expense of women who enjoy being within these roles. Ultimately, having the voices of diverse women and gender-diverse people documented in history is incredibly important - which should include both 'well-behaved' and rebellious women."
littlepinch7
Communication
"Introversion and social anxiety are NOT the same things."
"Not every introvert has social anxiety or is a poor communicator. Stop lumping people together and just calling it introversion."
"I’m introverted. I know how to communicate well. I just don’t want to with you."
bumpty
Evil
"That the symbol of the upside-down cross is satanic, evil, witchcraft, etc. I see so many Catholics and Christians going off on people who have upside-down crosses on clothes and stuff because it’s 'evil.' No, it is not. The upside-down cross comes from Peter, who decided to be crucified upside down because he felt he was not worthy of dying in the same fashion that Christ did. It is a symbol of honor, love, and respect for Jesus."
Love Dies
In Love Hearts GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"People like to believe 'there's someone out there for everyone' but honestly this just isn't true. Or that we only have 'one true love.'"
awkward-fox-patrol
Everything makes me mad.
But life goes on.
To hear some examples of these, Redditor Marquis_de_Skiatook asked:
"What’s the most disturbing Disney movie theory?"
Identities of certain characters were explored.
The Sales Pitch
"The merchant at the beginning of Aladdin is just making up the story, as he is just trying to sell you a lamp, which is crazy because the Dead Sea Tupperware was a better deal."
– PompeyMagnus1
Who Fired The Shot?
"Bambi's mom wasn't just killed by a hunter. She was killed by a poacher."
"There's a hunting scene right before winter where the whole family escapes. That was hunting season. You don't hear a single gunshot during the winter because it's off season. Bambi's mom was killed in early spring by a poacher."
– lllSnowmanlll
The Little Teacup
"There's a line in Be Our Guest that specifies '10 years we've been rusting...' meaning they've been enchanted for 10 years at that point. Chip is pretty clearly well under 10 when they break the spell and he becomes human. Which means that either the spell also froze their ages in time, or the teapot version of Mrs. Potts both conceived a teacup child (with who/what?!) and gave birth at some point."
"Also, there was a cupboard full of teacup children that weren't given names that also appeared to be under Mrs. Potts's care. What's the deal with those kids?!"
– killebrew_rootbeer
These films may need PG-rated prequels.
Child Was Suspect
"Lilo is responsible for her parents death because she failed to bring pudge the fish a sandwich."
– monorail_pilot
An Egg-cellent Theory
"Gaston was responsible for single-handedly supporting the egg industry of Southern France based on the amount of eggs he consumed, and his death caused a minor economic depression."
– BabaYagaOfKaliYuga
Woody's Original Owner
"Woody is Andy’s fathers old toy and it’s the only thing he has to remember him."
– ptepfenhart
Some Disney films may have war commentaries.
A Duck's Origins
"My favorite is Donald Duck being a WW2 vet. Donald is responsible for single-handedly taking an island from the Japanese, but the experience gave him serious PTSD and that's why he acts the way he does. The Department of Defense officially issued him an honorable discharge in 1984, meaning he retired as well."
– No_Improvement7573
Quacked Up History
"this was canon that Donald duck was a sailor but US naval fleet. But not many people know he was also Airborne or a para-marine."
"thats entirely his gimmick from the disney war propaganda videos."
"being in the marines at the time meaning donald duck would've seen pearl harbor from the hawaiian training videos all the way to the dolittle raids which is why he also knows how to fly a plane in the event if the pilot gets shot dead."
"donald duck was an airman in the pacific theater and took over entire japanese gun nests. Due to the time of the video(Commando Duck), the layout on the map and very much the actual role donald duck was a paratrooper in Guadalcanal."
"Donald duck wasn't a reservist or a volunteer since he was drafted so very much he fought all this mostly against his will. So it questions me why we would be there untl discharged in 1984."
"basically there is proof that everything that the previous person said is 100% true by overlooking two videos. Commando Duck 'Donald Duck vs Japan' and Donald Duck gets drafted as the release timing of both videos would match up the which battled and what unit Donald Duck would've fought in canonly. Based on merit he probably retired as a sergeant or e-5 rank. i did too much research."
"Its safe to say that Donald Duck was a paratrooper serving the 11th Airborne division n the battle of Guadalcanal. No only that he served in Guadalcanal but the timing itself means that Donald Duck served in Midway, Coral Sea, Pearl Harbor, Papa New Guinea, and the Philippines, Palau, Okinawa and based on the timing of the US fleet naval movements and as well as the history of the unit. Donald Duck probably seens some of the worst losses in US history and slept under the constant nightmare of a Japanese Air raid, death camps, jungle combat. It is also possible he saw combat in the Korean war since the same unit was posted for Korea but because he wasn't discharged until 1984 its save to say hes been in combat until Vietnam."
– ghigoli
Post-Apocalyptic World
"Cars takes place long after a war where the sapient machines wiped out their human creators."
– brak-0666
Vehicular Genocide
"Cars has a cars pope. Christianity is canon in the cars universe. This meaning there was also a cars Jesus who suffered a cars crucifixion."
"Furthermore the Jeep character is actually canonized as a WW2 veteran. There was a cars WW2 this meaning there was also a cars Hitler who killed scores of presumably Jewish cars."
– funkyjiveturkey
While many of these examples have not been officially substantiated by Disney, they sure do add another level that heightens the stakes for challenges faced by our favorite characters.
But one thing is certain.
You may never look at some of these classics the same way again.