It's never a good feeling to learn that your partner has been unfaithful.
Hearing this news almost instantly gets your mind racing, wondering what it was which led them to do this.
"Was I not present enough?"
"Have I let myself go?"
"Do they not love me anymore?"
If there's anything that could make you feel any worse than this sad list of possibilities, it's whenever they try to justify their behavior.
Often coming up with the most ludicrous excuses for breaking their partner's hearts, which they somehow thought might actually work or at least earn them a little sympathy.
When the only thing they likely got was an open door and a swift goodbye.
Redditor Starboy3210 was curious to hear some of the most ludicrous excuses people had to justify their infidelity, leading them to ask:
"People of Reddit, what is the dumbest reason your (ex) partner gave for cheating?"
So Much For "Till Death do Us Part".
"'You are dying! Do you really want me alone when you are dead?'"
"I was fighting cancer."
"He also told me that I was disgusting and he felt gross touching me."
"Luckily, both types of cancer are out of my life."- Mr_BigDuck
You Could Have At Least Left A Message!
"'You didn't answer your phone, was I supposed to spend Saturday night alone?'"
"I was at work, and so were you, we worked together you f*cking moron."- sixesand7s
Love At First Sight... Or Not
"She met someone that she immediately saw herself marrying."
"A month after we broke up she moved across the country, got married, called me to tell me she made a mistake, got divorced, moved back home, got pregnant and then got married again."- Zarrush
Gonna Have To Do Better Than That...
"Her response once I caught her was that she was flat-out horny."
"But after I said that’s why you have a boyfriend it was kinda funny how she went dead silent."- PuzzleheadedFarm7417
Um...
"He said that he cheated on me because I wanted to have too much sex."
"More than 5 years later I still can't find any logic in that."- Etrixie
So Much For Commitment
"'It's not like we're married'."
"Apparently I can't expect respect from someone who goes from calling me 'love of my life' to blowing her high school shag toy when he comes back to town."- FortGeek
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyIt Never Is...
“'It’s not what you think it is!'”
"After I walked in on them making out."
"While she was on his lap."
"Both without shirts."- MrSirChris
Two Whole Weeks...
"I couldn't have sex for two weeks so I could recover from surgery so she thought it wasn't cheating'."- Henchforhire
What The Actual...
"My ex-girlfriend said I forgot you were alive."
"For details, I wasn't in the military, I was at university."- Ali8ly
scared star wars GIF by Hyper RPGGiphyThat Only Makes It Worse
"It was his kid's mom so it didn't count."- kittenxx96
"In Sickness And In Health"...Oops!
“'I have needs for sex you aren’t helping me with!'"
"Said to me the day I get home from spending a week in the hospital with kidney failure (lupus)."- EndlesslyUnfinished
We Can Only "Open" Our Hearts So Much...
"Well, I know this guy that was convinced he was in an open relationship, except he forgot to let his girlfriend know.."
"She found out 7 years into the 'open relationship'."
"With multiple women, in 4 continents."
"Oh he also had a book where he'd categorize them."- ProfessionalSpite866
Episode 2 Player GIF by ABC NetworkGiphySanta? SANTA?!?!
"My serial cheater ex-once told me while in a fit of tears."
"'I can't stop cheating, I just have so many issues, my mom lied about Santa when I was a kid and it really f*cked me up'."
"'I don't think I can trust people because of it so I cheat'."- pastelflorist
No One Likes To Be Treated Like A Piece Of Meat...
“It’s like if you order the same subway sandwich for a year, eventually you’re gonna get bored of it."
"But you try another flavor and when you go back to the original one it’s better than you remembered'.”
"Felt not so good being compared to a 6 inch BLT tbh."- NucularOrchid
Oh, nothing, except commitment and fidelity...
"'She was prettier than you, what did you expect?'"
"We were engaged and had been dating for 3 years."- kathjoy
No doubt all these poor people are grateful for dodging the bullet that staying with these people would have been.
Even if it can't quite make up for the pain and embarrassment these experiences brought them.
Redditor dwightanddilbert wanted to discuss and dig into the truth about how we've been duped on matters of the heart and lust, so they asked:
"What’s the biggest lie pop culture taught us about sex and romance?"
I learned long ago to give up on the movie love dream. But they're still fun to watch.
Being Real
bad romance....Giphy"That love is easy and relationships will have romance just fall into your lap if it's meant to be. Real life is not a movie and it gives people a very wrong image of what a healthy relationship looks like."
trevmc1
Happily Now...
"That there is a point you reach where you get your Happily Ever After. Then you just get to coast. That's not how relationships work - it's not the moment he tells you at the NYE party how he loves that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out or when you get married in a big ballgown."
"It's all the little moments, the everyday caring, the small affections and the avoidances of trust pitfalls. They add up to a Happily Now. But there's not a point you can hang your hat up and say, 'Okay. I got this marriage thing sorted out. Now I get to do whatever I want.'"
Carl__Gordon_Jenkins
“What about sleep?!?!”
"That we’re supposed to have long sex sessions. Honestly a good 15-20 mins is pretty good for me."
ItsMeThereHair
"When I was 20ish I was in a car with a few coworkers. A couple of them got to talking about longest active session. The girl was 18 hours and the guy said 24 hours."
"All I could think was 'what about sleep?!?!' ( I’ve always loved sleeping). At the time I was with my now hubby and back then we were more the under 5 minute get the job done types. Now we appreciate longer sessions but I’m ready to tap out at 20 minutes. If we get to 45, he’s out of luck."
Environmental-Car481
Know the Difference
"Persistence usually isn't romantic. It's usually creepy."
Pissed_Off_Pacifist
"Yep, thanks for mentioning it. I wasted many, many years pursuing that one guy I thought was the one. His friends liked me. He made compliments on my looks and on my skills. Everything seemed promising, so why didn't it turn out the way I wanted?"
"Well, surprisingly, some people just aren't romantically interested in you, no matter how much work you put into it. So easy to understand, but so hard to accept. Neither my stubbornness nor a miracle could turn the friendship we had into a relationship. Plus, I must've seemed desperate, which is unattractive as hell."
"It's okay to take your time, but it's also necessary to know when move on. Really just better for everyone."
OneGhastlyGhoul
Shut Up!
Disney Wedding GIFGiphy"For the love of God, DO NOT interrupt a wedding. It will not go how you think it will."
dcbluestar
"As a joke at our friend's wedding some girl stood up and said wait. Literally every head turned around so fast and although it was known to the bride and groom as a joke I think everyone was thinking wtf and she was about as red as a tomato."
Kyell
The drama queen in me knows it would be wrong, but who wouldn't love to witness a wedding interruption?!?!
Magic
Anne Hathaway Actors On Actors GIF by PBS SoCalGiphy"If you just take off your glasses and put your hair down, you'll be Anne Hathaway."
Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Gross Truth
"That there's no such thing as clean up afterwards. Everyone just has a slight, post-coital, glisten and that's about as far as it goes. No awkward wet waddle. No wet spot on the mattress that gets cold way too quickly so you both bend your bodies around it so you can still snuggle without touching it."
"No sex towel that probably should've been washed about two weeks ago and is getting to the point where it might make a worthy substitute for a crowbar with how stiff it is."
"Oh, and if you do it in a horror movie, you're 100% gonna die."
ACalcifiedHeart
Calm Down
"That sex always has to be very serious and profound. And I don't mean serious as in commitment, but as in how we behave. Some of the best sex I have ever had has involved cracking jokes."
Needydadthrowaway
"Or sleepy sex where the nights too late but you both just want to crank it out and sleep."
hogtiedcantalope
It can work...
"Opposites attract."
chingudo
"This is actually really untrue. While it is possible, and also, in my opinion, really rare for opposites to attract, they definitely do not a majority of the time. We tend to fall for people who are like-minded to us. People who have similar values, morals, thoughts, etc... to us."
AwesomeKitty6842
"So I married an opposite. Has not been easy but I think has been really good for both of us overall. That being said if it ever fell apart I would 100% look for someone more like me. Everything, and I mean everything, is a lot of work and requires so much communication between us."
notgreatnotbadsoso
Get a Chance
Brendon Urie Flirt GIF by Panic! At The DiscoGiphy"Two extremes:"
"1- If you're a stalker, they'll eventually give you a chance."
"2- If you're the nice guy/the best friend, they'll eventually give you a chance."
"#2 messed me up for a very long time."
plasma_dan
Lesson learned. Never trust the love stories in pop culture.
And fairytales lie!!
Redditor XqueezeMePlease wanted to hear the answers about why they do life alone, so they asked:
"What to respond when someone asks 'Why are you still single?'"
Single and unloveable.
That's my Tinder title.
Too much?
Truth
The Gregory Brothers Writing It Down GIF by VidConGiphy"'Because I have raging personality flaws that I'm unwilling to work on.'"
"Usually prevents any follow up questions."
cesar_chris
"As a couple"
"'Have you seen the economy!?'"
YuuHikari
"In this economy?? Hahaha but I know people that live together 'as a couple' just because is cheaper then separate. I live in Brazil, but I know Brazilians in Portugal that live in 3 couples in a small 3 bedroom condo, just because 6 peoples working to share a rent is the only way to make the month."
aldeboy
Stay Calm
"Social anxiety."
Ornery_Bug_4108
"Yeh, too anxious to talk even approach and even then I know that while I am trying to manage it, I don’t feel like I’m loveable or attractive because of it, but of course that could be the dysthymia talking. So why bother, I’ve just been learning how to be by myself seeing as that’s where things are heading."
SayJose
Let's Date
"I don't meet people (who could be potential partners), and I think more and more that I am not a 'date' type of person."
visnjapile
"You missed the arranged marriage era it might have worked out for you, perhaps you could borrow someone’s overbearing Mother to find you a match."
Cryptoglue
"I have a couple of coworkers, one is Bangladeshi, the other is Indian. Their parents were like 'times are changing, you can marry for love if you want and we'll support you' and my coworkers were like 'wtf, you mean I'd have to DATE? F**k that, please find me a husband.'"
"Anyway one is now happily married and the other is constantly roasting her dad because he keeps offering her deadbeats riding on their dad's coattails."
Halospite
Picky
Alicia Silverstone Cherilyn Horowitz GIF by filmeditorGiphy"Go full on Cher from Clueless: 'You see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet!'"
AlanaByrd
God Bless 'Clueless.'
Drama!
Braxton Family Values Drama GIF by WE tvGiphy"Because I'd rather be alone and happy than dealing with someone else’s f**kin’ work drama and emotional problems. LOL."
Schnozzletov
"Being in a relationship seems so exhausting, I've been single for several years now and have absolutely no urge to date."
arrjaay
MY MONEY!!
"Why not?"
xepci0
"That’s basically my response when my extended family asks this. They all have that small town, hurry up and settle down mentality, and are ALWAYS on my case about being single with no kids whenever I visit. Took me far too long to realize some of them are actually jealous. My money is MY MONEY. My time is MY TIME. I don’t have to confer with anyone before making a decision."
Thesqueegeable
I live alone...
"I tell the truth. I'm shy and don't really meet new people. I've not added to my friend group, aside from partners of existing friends, in about 20 years. At work I have acquaintances from work - they're nice people but I don't communicate with them outside of work. I live alone, I work mainly alone, I don't have any hobbies or interest groups."
Shi*BritGit
Tragedy
"Dating in your 30s and 40s is either a game of 'Find the fault or tragedy' or taking on being a step-parent. I really don’t want to deal with either. My tragedy is I worked 10-16 hours a day, six days a week from 20-38, and it ruined two long-term relationships. Retired at 40, no regrets.FortyandDone
"It is hard to meet people in their 40s without kids or horrible issues! I actually got really lucky and found someone on tinder of all places lol. It took a year though. When I was single I didn’t have a lot of people ask me why. But I have resting b*tch face so maybe that was a factor. lol."
tnicole1976
Thank you, Next...
Flying Kiss Flirting GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"I'd take it as a compliment as that means you don't have any obvious bad qualities that would make you undatable to them. Nobody would ever ask me that question lol as there are many obvious reasons they could come up with."
Hatedbythemasses
Being single isn't the worst.
Do you have any reasons why being single is a positive? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor Possible_Hawk495 wanted to hear about all of the worst possible things in life, so they asked:
"What is a disturbing fact you wish you never knew?"
I'm not sure I'm ready for this...
"WARNING - The following is not for the faint of heart or anyone under 17. Or anyone with a pulse probably..."
Preferences
Whitney Houston Reaction GIFGiphy"It's illegal in India to find out the gender of your baby, because so many prefer boys over girls."
dont_u_know
"Just like China, they don't think long term enough about it."
Rock_of_Spaces
While You Were Sleeping
"That one can be aware they are in coma and not able to get out of it. I get anxious just thinking about it."
tooshyforreddit
"I’ve been in a coma, it’s different experiences based on the conditions, I believe. I was in it when I had multiple organ failure when I was 22."
"Even though you’re aware, I wouldn’t equate my experience to being fully aware and stuck. It kind of feels like when you wake up from a very very deep nap, and things seem fuzzy. Weirdly enough being in that state for a few week was some of the most peaceful my body ever felt being honest."
JelloisYummy
Horrifying
"Just how painful and torturous extreme radiation sickness is."
Scarfs-Fur-Frumpkin
"Between that video and the scene in HBO’s Chernobyl where the firefighter is screaming for help in the hospital as his skin falls off, I have learned not to be too cavalier about the use of nuclear armaments or nuclear safety."
aspidities_87
The usual suspects...
"After any significant natural disaster or conflict starts up, human traffickers swarm to the country looking for unattended children. Law enforcement will start watching ports of entry for the usual suspects... the usual suspects."
Ausramm
Good Lord
Red Carpet Teeth GIF by Recording Academy / GRAMMYsGiphy"A toddler's adult teeth are right below their eyes."
SuvenPan
"Yeah, I saw a photograph of a small child's skull with part of the area around the jaw removed and it's just packed with teeth."
CRtwenty
My teeth were where? OMG!
From the Inside
"Tarantula hawks are giant flying wasps that sting tarantulas, inducing paralysis. They then drag the paralyzed tarantula back to their nest and lay eggs in them. The eggs hatch, and the larvae slowly devour the still-alive, paralyzed tarantula from the inside."
GlassHalfFullofAcid
Fatality
"Rabies. Just everything about rabies."
spade13F
"Once you're symptomatic, 99.99% fatality rate and that 'lucky' iota that survive in medically-induced comas end up with permanent neurological damage. Also, the horrifying hallucinations."
Tiny_Parfait
"Rabies is pretty interesting. if you are vaccinated then it's 100% preventable, if not your chance of dying is 99.9%."
Unaccounted_fart
After the Hatch
"I remember watching an episode of the show Monsters Inside Me where this 16-year-old kid was doing something outside and a fly flew into his eye. It only made contact for about a microsecond, but it was enough time for it to lay eggs. After they hatched they started eating his eye from the inside and he was starting to go blind until a doctor finally figured out what was wrong."
"Just imagine that, getting your eye eaten from the inside and losing your sight all because a fly very briefly made contact with you. Ever since I learned about this I get really paranoid when there is a fly around my face because of the fact that this could possibly happen to me."
-eDgAR-
The Spine Attack
"A guy I used to work with had either a condition or got a virus (I don't remember which, this was about 20 years ago) that attacked his spine; he went to bed fine and woke up the next day totally paralyzed from the waist down. He spent the rest of his life in a wheelchair. There was no slow progression, just walking fine one day and completely unable to walk the next."
"I just looked up his obituary (he passed in 2011) he apparently had Transverse Myelitis that led him to become paralyzed."
A911owner
Put it Back
Giphy"Seems obvious when you think about it, but after an autopsy, they don't put everything back where they found it. It goes in a bag in the abdominal cavity."
clevebeat
Well I'll never sleep again.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.