It's never a good feeling to learn that your partner has been unfaithful.
Hearing this news almost instantly gets your mind racing, wondering what it was which led them to do this.
"Was I not present enough?"
"Have I let myself go?"
"Do they not love me anymore?"
If there's anything that could make you feel any worse than this sad list of possibilities, it's whenever they try to justify their behavior.
Often coming up with the most ludicrous excuses for breaking their partner's hearts, which they somehow thought might actually work or at least earn them a little sympathy.
When the only thing they likely got was an open door and a swift goodbye.
Redditor Starboy3210 was curious to hear some of the most ludicrous excuses people had to justify their infidelity, leading them to ask:
"People of Reddit, what is the dumbest reason your (ex) partner gave for cheating?"
So Much For "Till Death do Us Part".
"'You are dying! Do you really want me alone when you are dead?'"
"I was fighting cancer."
"He also told me that I was disgusting and he felt gross touching me."
"Luckily, both types of cancer are out of my life."- Mr_BigDuck
You Could Have At Least Left A Message!
"'You didn't answer your phone, was I supposed to spend Saturday night alone?'"
"I was at work, and so were you, we worked together you f*cking moron."- sixesand7s
Love At First Sight... Or Not
"She met someone that she immediately saw herself marrying."
"A month after we broke up she moved across the country, got married, called me to tell me she made a mistake, got divorced, moved back home, got pregnant and then got married again."- Zarrush
Gonna Have To Do Better Than That...
"Her response once I caught her was that she was flat-out horny."
"But after I said that’s why you have a boyfriend it was kinda funny how she went dead silent."- PuzzleheadedFarm7417
Um...
"He said that he cheated on me because I wanted to have too much sex."
"More than 5 years later I still can't find any logic in that."- Etrixie
So Much For Commitment
"'It's not like we're married'."
"Apparently I can't expect respect from someone who goes from calling me 'love of my life' to blowing her high school shag toy when he comes back to town."- FortGeek
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyIt Never Is...
“'It’s not what you think it is!'”
"After I walked in on them making out."
"While she was on his lap."
"Both without shirts."- MrSirChris
Two Whole Weeks...
"I couldn't have sex for two weeks so I could recover from surgery so she thought it wasn't cheating'."- Henchforhire
What The Actual...
"My ex-girlfriend said I forgot you were alive."
"For details, I wasn't in the military, I was at university."- Ali8ly
scared star wars GIF by Hyper RPGGiphyThat Only Makes It Worse
"It was his kid's mom so it didn't count."- kittenxx96
"In Sickness And In Health"...Oops!
“'I have needs for sex you aren’t helping me with!'"
"Said to me the day I get home from spending a week in the hospital with kidney failure (lupus)."- EndlesslyUnfinished
We Can Only "Open" Our Hearts So Much...
"Well, I know this guy that was convinced he was in an open relationship, except he forgot to let his girlfriend know.."
"She found out 7 years into the 'open relationship'."
"With multiple women, in 4 continents."
"Oh he also had a book where he'd categorize them."- ProfessionalSpite866
Episode 2 Player GIF by ABC NetworkGiphySanta? SANTA?!?!
"My serial cheater ex-once told me while in a fit of tears."
"'I can't stop cheating, I just have so many issues, my mom lied about Santa when I was a kid and it really f*cked me up'."
"'I don't think I can trust people because of it so I cheat'."- pastelflorist
No One Likes To Be Treated Like A Piece Of Meat...
“It’s like if you order the same subway sandwich for a year, eventually you’re gonna get bored of it."
"But you try another flavor and when you go back to the original one it’s better than you remembered'.”
"Felt not so good being compared to a 6 inch BLT tbh."- NucularOrchid
Oh, nothing, except commitment and fidelity...
"'She was prettier than you, what did you expect?'"
"We were engaged and had been dating for 3 years."- kathjoy
No doubt all these poor people are grateful for dodging the bullet that staying with these people would have been.
Even if it can't quite make up for the pain and embarrassment these experiences brought them.
Redditor istrx13 wanted to discuss the products that went nowhere, so they asked:
"What product was supposed to be the next big thing but wound up failing miserably?"
Life is all hit or miss.
Especially when inventing.
Transport Revolution
"The Segway was once touted as a revolutionary transportation device, but ultimately failed to live up to its hype due to its high cost, limited practicality, and safety concerns."
fulfillmen25
Drunk Fried Chicken GIF by Ethan BarnowskyGiphyShattered
"Google Glass."
doublebankshot
"I dropped I think it was $1400 on it back then, and when I got them it was immediately obvious that they were going to be a huge disappointment; everything from UI to battery life to comfort to photo quality was so bad that my first impression was that they felt almost like a joke product rather than an actual product manufactured by a tech company, not even an early developer version."
ds445
A great idea...
"Zune was supposed to be the death of Apple's monopoly on MP3 players."
HoopOnPoop
"Zune actually wasn't a bad piece of hardware. It was just that by the time it came out, iPod was already entrenched. It was around the same price, so it couldn't undercut Apple on pricing. ZunePass was actually a pretty great idea, years before Spotify."
Wulfbak
"My favorite thing about Zune is that it featured what was actually a pretty cool and interesting design feature wherein a user could send a song to another Zune user for free, but Microsoft chose the single worst possible name for this feature, calling it 'squirting.' Zune kids back in the day had to be like 'Ayyy bro that song is fire, squirt that at me.'"
HostileSkittles
Fly High
"Hoverboards. I think their primary problem was their lack of ability to hover. Also 300 ish dollars for something that goes as fast as... legs is just dumb."
IceClimbers_Main
"Their main downfall was the many, many cheap and dangerous clones from china. When the OG hoverboards were too expensive for most, the big Chinese companies saw a hole to get into the market making them for pennies on the dollar by removing safety devices, using cheaper batteries, lower gauge wire, etc. It was for the worst."
ptthree420
Entertainment Options
"Curved TVs… oh and 3D TVs we’re a thing for a while too!"
Sherlockssocks
"I own a curved 3D TV. I've probably used the 3D less than a hundred times. I think if they'd pushed the spilt screen gaming thing a bit more they would have sold more."
Signal-Morning7669
Shake Your Rump Television GIF by Beastie BoysGiphyThose curved TVs freak me out.
I just liked my DVD
"Laser discs...? I think they were called. Picture a DVD the size of a record."
Drawn-Otterix
"Laserdiscs were successful, they're just an obsolete format now."
Born_Anteater_3495
digital audio spinning GIF by Feliks Tomasz KonczakowskiGiphyCleansed
"Olestra/Olean. It was going to transform all junk food into low fat. Instead, it transformed lower GI tracts."
1800sMan
"OMG this! Around 1998 I worked for a huge ad agency on Madison Ave in NYC that had the Pringles account. They were pushing that Olestra trash at the time and obvi it was to be part of the campaign we were creating. One day I grab a can and start munching away."
"Well 15 minutes later I feel like I’ve swallowed a hand grenade and start racing to the bathroom where I proceed to destroy the bathroom for a good half hour. It just would not stop. I swear I saw a demon that day while emptying my poor bowels. Never ever again with that Olestra garbage."
bruh_wut69
Guess What?
"Oh man this is really specific to my career field in childcare."
"Smart diapers. Yep, diapers that will inform you on your app when your child uses them. I don’t know anyone who seriously considered getting these. But I remember seeing ads on my social media for them. Guess what? No one wanted them."
Onlyfansnanny
"As a law student, my son worked on getting the patent and prototype on these a little over ten years ago. At the time, however, they were being marketed to nursing homes. IDK whatever happened with that."
Ok-Bee1579
The Mess
"Meta."
SuperScario
"I finally decided to look up what meta was on Youtube a few months ago and I swear I thought I was watching some Nintendo wii game or something. My jaw hit the floor when I realized that's what meta actually looked like, billions of dollars for a Nintendo looking world, what a f**king dumpster fire."
twister55555
Bute Sized
"Quibi."
chyna094e
"Part of it was the worst timing imaginable. The service was meant to be 'bite sized' entertainment, something you could watch in 5 minutes while standing in a queue or maybe a couple segments on a public transit ride."
"They launched the first week of April 2020. Remember all the queues you were standing in and public transit rides you took then? Yeah, the same as everyone else - NONE because 95% of the population was stuck at home for 6 months!"
alinroc
Minis...
"Spore. It was hyped as a game that went from spark of life to galactic conquest. It's just a bunch of mini games."
rosanymphae
College Hoops Sport GIF by NCAA March MadnessGiphyI missed the spore phenomenon.
Oh well.
Redditor Hot_Wine_2004 wanted to hear from the guys out there, so they asked:
"Men of reddit, what would be your response to a guy who suddenly starts flirting with your girl?"
I've always let a partner handle their own flirts.
Just like I do.
Thanks
"Had a guy buy our margaritas when my GF ordered them for us at the counter. I thanked him from across the restaurant, free margaritas taste better."
whiskeyriver0987
Episode 2 Margarita GIF by FriendsGiphySweet
"I’d step in and say something. Not because I feel I need to or because my wife can’t handle herself, but because I know her and she likes the feeling of being looked after. I know this because she’s told me."
Psycle_Sammy
"That’s very sweet. Just because you can stand strong doesn’t mean you should always have to. It’s good to know you have backup whether that’s your friends or your husband."
mickbubbles
Give Move Guy
"My wife had a guy offer to buy her drink and when she said she was married he said something to the effect of 'Then let me buy the lucky man his drink instead.' Which I thought was a great way to handle it, and gets you a bar friend most of the time since the guy gets a free drink, and if he is jealous or protective will respond better because he didn't buy her a drink after all."
WurthWhile
I Get It
"Nothing, She is beautiful and I get it. When she shoots them down and they keep trying is when I would step in because its harassments at that point and that is a problem."
To_Fight_The_Night
"Exactly. I had a customer invite my wife on a helicopter ride the other day, totally trying to chat her up. When he asked what she did there she just pointed at me and said 'I’m just hanging out, I’m married to him.' You could see him deflate like a balloon."
Nippon-Gakki
"Yep. My wife's a grown adult and can handle her own."
Kiss my Wife
"I looked at the dude and said 'sorry dude you are not my sister's type' then I immediately kiss my wife. We are both blonde so people think we are related all the time lol."
sled-gang
Let Me Go Love GIF by 3 Doors DownGiphyKeeping it in the family is healthy.
Hey Stud
"Ask him if he’s down for a 3 way to make him uncomfortable."
Smellmyhand
"Plot twist - dude is bi and is totally down for that."
RandomJPG6
Ice Cream Summer GIF by MochimochilandGiphyShe Got It
"I once let my girlfriend handle a situation on her own, and the thing I learned in the process is that it takes a woman a lot more work to deter an aggressive guy."
"As soon as I stepped in, Handsy McNoboundaries apologized to me. Not the stranger whose a** he touched and complimented. She absolutely could handle the situation on her own, and my first impulse was not to treat her like a possession some other guy was touching. But on some level it feels I was condoning the behaviour."
ClusterMakeLove
Trust
"My wife constantly gets hit on.I don't care if men hit on her. I trust her completely and have since the start she has never given me a reason not to trust her."
"When we used to goto the bar together she would get hit on. Guy's would offer to buy her drinks, she would always tell them my drink of choice."
"After she gets the drinks she would thank them walk away then hand the drink to me."
"If people don't respect her boundaries that's where I step in. We have never had any bad experiences with men hitting on her. Normally once they see her with me they basically just walk away."
Islefive
They Get the Idea
"It depends on the situation. Most the time I think good luck man, hope she doesn’t embarrass you. I know she’s coming home with me at the end of the day."
"If the guy is obviously creepy and making her uncomfortable, I typically step in and make sure he gets the point."
"I’m not a small guy so they usually get the idea."
"I don’t really care for confrontation or violence, but with that said, I won’t tolerate someone harassing my wife or making her uncomfortable."
assa9sks
Beautiful
"My wife is gorgeous in my eyes, but she is incredibly hard on herself. After kids, antidepressants, and being 20 years older than she was when we started dating she doesn’t always see that she’s the most beautiful person for me. Someone else gonna start talking her up and wants to get in her pants? I’d just tell her I told you so."
fuqaduck
beautiful happy endings GIFGiphyThe ladies got it handled and so do the men apparently.
