Landlords can influence your living conditions in multiple ways. Besides the obvious keyed access to your temporary residence, hopefully only used to maintain the working order of toilets and dishwashers, they can also affect your personal life, too. A tenant's ability to follow house rules and regulations could make or break your landlord relationship, and you want as good as one as possible. Nothing is better than a landlord letting a rent check slide for a week while you gather the funds. Sometimes, though, that doesn't always get to happen, as one woman found out. She shared her story on Reddit, looking for advice on what to do when she said:
[F22] I unfriended my landlord on Facebook and he [M30s] freaked out.
I rent a room in a house in which the landlord (the homeowner) and also his wife live on the premesis. I'm 22 year old female graduate student and he's a late 20s or early 30s graduate student. He also has one other tenant on the property.
I think the landlord is creepy and I don't like him. For example, I did three loads of laundry in one day and he confronted me about it and informed me I didn't know how to use the machine properly. I do indeed know how to use the machine, but I wash towels, delicates, and casual clothes separately. He works from home and never leaves so I often feel like he keeps an eye on my every move. He also texted my mother last weekend asking her for her email address... I find that ridiculous since he has her phone number for emergencies only and there is never a situation in which he should be emailing her! He also has a lot of rules that apply to me as a tenant but don't apply to him, such as if I have a guest over I'm expected to let him know in advance, but he's had guests over without ever telling me. He also told me I can't open the windows in my bedroom, that I can't have a desk plant, etc. (These rules are not in the lease, but I follow them.)
He had also asked me questions to the effect of "Is your department obsessed with women and affirmative action?" And "do you attend church just to please your boyfriend?". I find the former question quite offensive because we're both in highly male-dominated fields and I felt like he was suggesting that I didn't deserve the position I earned. The latter question I think is ridiculous because if you formulated that as a statement it would be clearly offensive.
I was friends with him on Facebook but due to him contacting my mother and other offenses, I decided to unfriended him. Around a week later, he friended me again so I blocked him on Facebook. Ten minutes later after blocking, he texts me "Did you block me on facebook? I would like to have a good relationship since we will be living together for a year." And I said "Sorry but I don't consider having my landlord as a friend on Facebook a requirement to having a good relationship." He responded with "Well, we were facebook friends and now we're not, so that's obviously a problem! I hope we can resolve it." I think this is bizarre since he would have only known that I blocked him if he went searching for my FB profile. I rarely post on Facebook so it's not like he would notice that he stopped seeing my posts. Personally, if someone unfriended me on Facebook I would probably not notice unless they were someone I speak to daily on Facebook messenger.
How should I handle this? I just want to be left alone in peace. I live in Tennessee if that matters.
tl;dr: I unfriended my landlord that lives on the premises and he freaked out. I think he's obsessed with knowing everything I do because I live in his house.
Let's Start With The Worst Possible Outcome
Find a new place before you're turned into a lampshade
Get A Sense Of Your Surroundings
I'm probably being paranoid but... I wouldn't use his WiFi. He could be tracking sites you visit.
"he's definitely tracking your internet."
Start checking out puppy adoption sites over the course of a few days. If landlord starts talking about not allowing pets (and this controlling f-cker won't be able to help himself) you'll know for sure.
Get The Law On Your Side
Double check landlord/tenant laws in Tennessee. See if there are any provisions for if a landlord is harassing a tenant or making up ridiculous rules. If you can find anything that could apply to what he is doing, consider taking steps that could bring you closer to moving out. You would have to document everything in writing and save receipts of any harassment you receive. Your landlord may or may not take you to court for breaking your lease so be prepared to prove that the landlord nullified the lease first with his actions.
If you can't break your lease I suggest finding a coffee shop or library to hang out in a lot. Ignore any contact from your landlord about Facebook or anything that isn't specifically about your lease.
Don't Be Afraid To Shut Him Down
Pop over to r/legaladvice for sure but I'd stick to only what he can legally enforce. If you want a houseplant, get one, open windows, have guests.. not to be annoying but just to live your life. The more you give in to his ridiculous demands the more he believes he is right and has power over you. He is a major creep. Keep ALL communication in written form. If he tries to ask you verbally why you washed 3 times tell him to email you his questions or concerns. Shut him down, ignore his inappropriate questions by telling him "That's inappropriate to ask"
Visit your local housing court, they can't give official legal advice but I find a friendly face and a sad tale usually gets people talking enough to tell you what to do hypothetically.
The advice of turning your laptop into a motion activated camera do it. What locks are on your door? Can you legally have a lock on your bedroom door?
Start Searching Elsewhere
Do you have a long term lease? If you can- I would consider finding another place to live.
He doesn't sound like the type that is going to back off. You can try talking to him, tell him that you pay rent for you room - with the expectation that you (and your family /friends) are allowed a private life. Tenancy doesn't equal friendship. If he was looking for something else- perhaps it would be best if you found another place to live. See what he says. You might need to continuously point out to him when he is crossing the line for a while (because he will not get it).
Try To Find Nontraditional Methods
Many universities have legal aid offices which will provide advice free for students. If you have access to such a resource, make an appointment and see if you can come up with a way to break your lease early.
Keep Track For Later
you need to document all of this in writing and let his wife know. You should also call for a meeting with him and his wife and let them both know that you feel like he's crossed several lines and that in order to feel safe some things need to change.
Most states have something called "the Covenant of Quiet Enjoyment" which means he can't harass you about the space you've rented, that you get to control it and live free from harassment. Check up on your state's tenants' rights laws and contact the local tenants' association.
He doesn't get to direct you on laundry or tell you you're not allowed to have a desk plant. He certainly shouldn't be contacting your emergency contacts for non-emergencies or contacting you on social media after you've unfriended him. That, and retaliating in any way because you enforce your right to quiet enjoyment is illegal and you should just let him and his wife know that you know your rights and you will be documenting in order to protect yourself.
It will be awkward but that will probably back him off, and you shouldn't have to move before the year is up unless you want to.
It's Not So Complicated When The Signs Are This Obvious
In my honest opinion this is a very unstable situation. He could be stalking you. I mean how would he know you un friended him so quick. You really really need to find a new place. His actions are very strange.
Really, It's Not As Tricky As It Seems
This sounds like too much of a headache for what it's worth, I'd be out of there fairly lively.
I dont think there's an issue with him asking you to let him know when you're having visitors and for him not to follow that rule, that's one of the perks of being a landlord. But all the other stuff is too much.
Also asking you about the 3 washes? Like feck off! If you split the bills what is the issue. Wifi thing is creepy, comments are off.
I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he has secret cams hidden up, sorry to say. He's just giving off that vibe and the reaction from the fb thing indicates a sense of entitlement to your time.
Creepy dude, flee!!!!
I saw you're tied into a 12 month lease...what would it cost to break it...presumably just your deposit? A small price to pay!
woah woah woah woah woah. He noticed it within 10 minutes? He's stalking you, at least on facebook.
You need to get the hell out of there asap. No matter what you have to pay to break the lease. You need to leave all in one day. Can you put a camera in your room? Bc he might be going through it- that's how crazy he sounds.
Unfortunately, not every person is able to stay settled in one home their entire lives. Some people are constantly moving around.
Be it for a job, or as a lifestyle choice, the reasoning is never fully uniform. But it does cause a lot of stress, and it can be really helpful to have some guiding principles set up everywhere.
These people are here to help you with those.
Here were some of those answers.
Marie Kondo Would Be Proud
Take the opportunity to throw out garbage or stuff you don't need. Don't move useless stuff
And if possible start this process a few months before moving day. If you try to do it as you pack in the few days before the move, you'll run out of time.
Pack Those Tools Daddy Yas
Last thing packed and first thing unpacked should be tools, because something is gonna need to be disassembled or assembled and it helps if you know exactly where those implements are.
Tools. SCISSORS. Toliet paper. Paper towels. Small towel. Hand soap. Paper plates. Lightbulbs/flashlight. Some granola bars. Cleaning supplies. Backup chargers. Pen and paper (write out important numbers eg electric, gas, water, landlord, internet - assume your phone dies and you can't find charger or elec not on, what would you need).
Especially for a longer distance move, make and label the "OPEN FIRST" box as if you needed to live off it. Then if move has delays or other issues you can open that one and collapse.
Don't Be Keepin It All
Get rid of stuff.
Like, lots of stuff. If you have to wonder if you really want to keep it--you probably don't.
Give stuff away, take it to thrift shops, put it on give-away message boards...or just throw it away if you have to.
I move about every three years, and it's crazy how much unessential junk collects in my home.
There's nothing worse than unpacking in your new place and finding something you wish you hadn't just paid someone to protect and transport for you.
These tips and tricks will most definitely come in handy for you the next time you need to move.
Get a large trash bag and rip a hole in the bottom (about the size of your fist). Then take any clothes that you have on hangers and put them in the bag with the hooks of the hangers going through the hole you made. Put as many as the bag allows and then tie the bottom with the trash bag's drawstrings. Super easy way to transport hanging clothes, keeps them clean, and makes it super easy to re-hang them.
Makes A Difference
Hire movers if you can afford it
It seriously takes soooo much stress out of the whole process
Moved every year for about 7 years...only did movers the last few times
Wouldn't have it any other way now
New Digs, New Look, New Me
Most people are talking about the sh*t you physically pack here. For me the problem is address changes.
Whenever I have someone save my address information (e.g. Chewy, my dog's microchip manager, Work), I add them to like... OneDrive or Google sheets, and save the information there. When it comes time to change my address, I change it with my bank first, then go through and change it with the various services. I have a marker for whether it's no longer in use (to track things that had my address in the past), the login URL for the site and whether it uses my credit card information.
It doesn't necessarily have to be places that you do financial transactions with either. It sounds like a pain in the butt, and it is somewhat, but I have 55 different places I need to update my information with, and I move roughly once a year.
If you have a physical library add a couple of layers of books to each box rather than lumping them all together
Not only does this distribute the weight evenly making sure no boxes are overly cumbersome, but it also makes your boxes bottom heavy meaning they are less likely to tip over
You've definitely hassled with these before, but it can be really hard to actually know how to solve moving problems. That's why these tips are here.
Spread It Out Like BUTTAH
If you can afford to, always schedule an overlap of at least a week between when you can move into your new place, and when you have to be out of your old one, as opposed to trying to fit the whole move into 1-2 days. Packing, sorting, moving, and esp. cleaning the old place...makes the whole process *so* much less stressful.
To Settle Faster
Pack a first day box. Include the usual and... soap, toilet paper, shower curtain, snacks, good alcohol, paper towels, regular towels, a few change of clothes, blanket, pillow, few utensils etc.
Yeah, this is a great tip.
I extend this beyond the first day, to the last couple days before the move and the first couple days after the move. In other words, don't assume that you can pack and unpack everything in just a day or so. Give yourself time to start packing and preparing in advance, by separating the minimum set of stuff you need to keep living vs. the stuff that can you can pack in advance. I literally pack that minimum set of stuff into a duffel bag like I'm packing for a trip for a few days, and pack everything else up for the move.
No Throwing Backs Out Today Mama
Put heavier things in smaller boxes. A small box of books is easier to move than a large box. Don't just think of what fits in something, consider how heavy you can carry and try not to pack heavier than you can move
So whether or not you're moving, or you will have to move in the next couple of months--hopefully this list helps you with some of your more cumbersome and daunting tasks.
The stress of moving is literally unparalleled--besides with death and divorce--so having this little bit of support can truly make all the difference.
For anybody who's worked at least a few months in the food service industry, that adage that "the customer is always right" can be a total tease.
Yes, good customer service is important. We want people to enjoy their meal, tip well, and come back to pay more money in the future.
But sometimes a customer's entitled attitude can ruffle a waiter's feathers enough for them to take some *subtle* action.
Or, in many cases, a waiter may simply be careless enough to do something profoundly awful to a meal, whether there was some customer transgression or not.
Either way, it's best to have your head on a swivel and be as polite as possible whenever you find yourself giving your order to a hard-working server.
RegulatoryCapturedMe asked, "Restaurant workers of Reddit, what is the worst thing you have seen done to a customer's order?"
Some people chose to talk not about vindictive behavior, but mindless habits. These stories outlined all the gross things that happen behind the scenes because a cook just couldn't be bothered to keep things sanitary.
Floor + Griddle
"I worked at a popular fast food chain in my younger years, it was my first time with closing shift and we were all doing our part to clean and prep the store."
"I see this lady with a mop and bucket come out of the back, slop it on to the griddle and START MOPPING IT. I was appalled. I went and told the manager and she tells me well that's the quickest way to clean it then scolded me for worrying about things that didn't concern me."
"I quit that job next day and then called the district office and told them what happened. That location closed down not long after. But the franchise still exists."
5 Second Rule (x 50 = 250 Second Rule)
"Worked at a 50's style diner."
"Was prepping the chicken breasts for our burgers and dropped a tray of 50 and they slid right under the grill, easily the dirtiest place in the whole restaurant."
"My boss saw and had me pick them all up rinse them with water and re-season then and stick them back in the fridge..."
"No One Will Notice"
"I saw a waiter pour an orange juice, take a big swig with his lips on the rim, top it up then take it to the table." -- RegulatoryCapturedMe
"In college, I worked for a well known pizza place. One of our wait staff came to collect a pepperoni pizza, and nabbed a piece of pepperoni off the top before taking it out."
"He gets to the table, and everyone is staring at him in stunned silence. There's a very fine string of cheese going from the pizza to his mouth." -- DeeTee79
Others chose to highlight the times a co-worker was, indeed, straight up vindictive. These small acts of revenge were blatant, shameless, and often very gross.
A Symbolic Attack
"Worked in restaurants for over 10 years. It's pretty rare that you see people mess with someone's food but it does happen occasionally."
"The most memorable was once when a customer made a waitress cry complaining about their food and sent it back. The chef farted on the remake. It got a lot of laughs."
"More common is if a customer is an ahole, when they order dessert, you find the smallest slice of cheesecake you can."
The Brine Does Look Like Urine
"I know a guy that pissed in a bucket of pickles. He would have never been caught if he didn't talk about it." -- filthysquatch
"Welp. That's a felony." -- saltnskittles
"number 14 mcdonalds pi** pickles" -- LetsGeauxSaints
Some Burger With Your Pickles
"I had a buddy at mcdonalds, a real chaotic type, who every once and a while would say 'oh hey, guess what time it is... PICKLE SURPRISE!' and put a whole handful of pickles on a random cheeseburger." -- mattmoney31716
"Dude... I got like 9 fu**ing pickles on my regular tiny hamburger the other day.. I think he might still work there." -- vl8669
A Clear Policy
"At my last restaurant job, my coworker would make very ugly sundaes for customers who were rude."
"For particularly nice customers, she would painstakingly recreate the sundaes in the menu pictures and give them extra cream and sprinkles."
Finally, others were just as revengeful, but they took out their rage in a more subtle way.
Rather than ruin a meal completely in a brash, obvious way, these cooks and waiters simply listened to customers' order and gave them exactly what they asked for.
These stories remind that we should be careful what we wish for, especially if we've upset the waiter.
A Crowded Pie
"I gave them what they ordered. We were a pizza/Italian/bar restaurant. Our menu was ludicrously large and essentially anything that was on the menu that could go on a pizza was listed as a topping, probably 40 to 50 topping choices.
"I would get asked pretty often for 'a pizza with everything on it!' I had a usual joke or two to find out what they really wanted. Typically a deluxe but then they'd want no black olives or whatever. No big deal."
"Until the a**hole came in that that ordered 'everything' and then proceeded to ask if I was ret##### when I questioned him. My sister has disabilities so I didn't appreciate his tact... told my boss about it and he smiled and said get him a pizza with everything."
"Brought it out and gave it to him. He flipped out and demanded the manager of course. My manager had my back and gave the guy his bill which at $2 a topping was well over a $100 pizza. Guy refused to pay, cops got called, Yada Yada Yada. I hope he enjoyed his pizza with clams, pineapple, Buffalo chicken, broccoli, anchovies, green olives, cream cheese, cauliflower, jalapeños, shrimp..."
Flying Too Close to the Sun
"Some Indian guys came in one time and asked for us to make their food as spicy as possible. I told them that's going to be extremely spicy and wanted to make sure they knew what they were asking for."
"They went on a long rant about how Indian restaurants are the only places that actual know what spicy is and anything we bring out isn't going to be close to how spicy they like their food."
"So I had the owner come over to tell them that we'll try our best but there won't be any refund on this food if it's too spicy. So we made them chicken fried rice with Trinidad scorpion peppers. After 2 bites and about 10 glasses of soy milk later, they ordered something else."
Extra Extra Extra
"Wanted extra mayo so I maliciously complied by drenching it. Lady thought I would forget her fake $10 prayer tip the last time she was there." -- Dumfk
"Just keep one on hand for when you see those people again, give it back as their change, or if you care about/need your job, dont listen to me about anything." -- harpo555
It's a list that might leave you feeling rather paranoid about going to fast food or sit down restaurants in the future. But at least one preventative maneuver emerged as a common theme: be polite.
People Explain Which Things They Thought Were Completely Normal As A Kid And Later Realized Were Really Weird
As much as adults regularly hammer home the importance of honesty with their children, parents are responsible for a significant amount of white lies and bent truth.
It makes sense. Parents are busy, they're human beings who grow impatient, and they find efficiency rather refreshing.
So it's no wonder they fabricate a few elements of "reality" here and there, all to make their kids act in a way that, typically, is well-adjusted for societal expectations.
But when those kids grow into adults, they learn to adopt the behaviors without the lies. And at that moment, the absurdity of their parents' myths all comes flowing to mind.
ancient_a**holed4 asked, "What normal thing in your childhood did you later realise was extremely weird?"
Many people shared some truly inventive, out of the box thinking. Most were the creative innovations of parents trying to keep everything running smoothly.
Tire Them Out Before Bed
"My mom taught me and my sister to howl at the moon. It would get our dog all worked up, and he'd howl too."
"It would make my grandma so mad, but my mom found it hilarious."
"My parents didn't want to shout our names for dinner or to come downstairs so my Dad installed a literal doorbell in our bedrooms."
"So if we were needed in the kitchen we were summoned by the 'child bell'. - we lived in a 2 bed semi."
A Very Fun Way to Enjoy Burgers
"Burger Roulette: every time there was a barbecue or we made burgers one of the burgers would be stuffed with hot sauce and peppers. So hilarious and definitely made dinners more exciting, but not a normal thing lol"
A Myth They Made On Their Own
"I think I only thought about this once, then completely forgot about it. When I was a kid (6-7?) I used to think 'brown people pooped brown poop, and white people pooped white poop.' "
"It never occurred to me that I had never seen a white sh** any time I went to the toilet, and so when I saw that someone had unfortunately forgot to flush the toilet (at school) and I saw the 'remnants,' I was immediately intrigued, since I was the only brown kid at that school, and I thought there was another brown person at my school, and I just hadn't seen them."
Other people came to understand that their parents' strange, often dishonest behavior or commentary actually had a very admirable motivation underneath it.
These were good stories that shed light on the honor of moms and dads.
"My mom used to have me practice screaming for help at the top of my lungs before going to friends houses ಠ_ಠ" -- lazydaisy2pointoh
"You know whilst this is weird it's also a good thing to teach kids to use their voice . They're told to shut up or be quiet so often that when they need to use their voice it's not natural to them" -- Ieatclowns
"Whenever I wouldn't wanna get shots my mom would say 'te lo van a poner en tu cosita si no lo dejas' which means 'they're gonna put the shot on yo di** if you don't comply' and the doc who didn't know Spanish was like 'yeah en tu cosita.'
A Boarding House
"Random kids living at our house."
"I had 9 siblings and my parents always had one or two other kids that had been kicked out of their homes living with us. Usually friends of my older brothers and sisters, it wasn't until my twenties that I discovered that most had been disowned by their parents for being gay."
"Also had no clue that this wasn't normal for the 60's."
Best Guy to Have Around
"It's a little thing, but it was very surprising to me - that it was my dad and not my mom who stayed home with me when I was sick."
"Also, my friends all had stories of their parents trying to get them to go to school even when they were sick. My parents never did that, and even let me stay home a few times even when they knew I was faking it."
"I know it's hard for a lot of working parents to stay home with a sick kid, but all my friends at the time were pretty much from the same middle-class background as I was, and my father was a hospital physician and the head of his division at the hospital and also saw a lot of patients, so it was not easy for him to miss work. I guess he handled a lot of stuff by phone (this was before the internet)."
"It's a little thing, but it really made me feel so cared for and I still associate staying home sick with getting taken care of by my dad who had an excellent bedside manner."
Finally, others discovered the flaws of their parents. These misunderstandings weren't the results of purposeful fibs on the part of parents.
Rather, the kids at the time couldn't conceive of a world in which their parents could screw up.
"Getting honked at, flipped off, and yelled at while driving. I just thought driving was this extremely aggressive and negative experience that made everyone angry."
"Turns out my dad was a serial tailgater who used to ride right up on people in front of us, regardless of the speed we were traveling. Highways, subdivisions, country roads, didn't matter."
"It wasn't until I began to learn to drive myself that it all made sense."
"My mom's cooking. She boiled noodles until they were mush. Her potato soup was boiled onions and potatoes drained then added to warm milk with salt and pepper. Baked beans were beans, ketchup, and pancake syrup."
"The most common meal in our house started as spaghetti, then became chili, and then chili mac."
"Vegetable soup was all the vegetables dumped straight from a can with no seasoning and the meat would be hamburger, canned roast beef, or canned corned beef with potatoes."
"A lot of the other stuff she cooked was pretty good, but that was only if she followed a recipe. If she winged it things got strange. My favorite will always be the grape soda bbq because she didn't have Dr Pepper."
Here's hoping you aren't still under the spell of any lies or half-truths that proliferated when you were a kid. But there's no harming in acknowledging just how long you lived according to them.
Remember Theranos? It was a breakthrough technology company that claimed to have devised blood tests that required very tiny amounts of blood. The hype was real: In 2015, Theranos received a $9 billion valuation and its CEO, Elizabeth Holmes, seemed prime to become a household name. Shortly afterward, she was exposed as a fraud; her trial (on charges of wire fraud and conspiracy to commit wire fraud) has been postponed several times as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic.
After Redditor LineofDeath asked the online community, "What was supposed to be the next big thing but totally flopped?" people reminded us how you should never fall for the hype.
"Now they are chiefly remembered..."
Quadraphonic entertainment systems in the early 1970s. They were supposed to replace stereophonic systems. Now they are chiefly remembered for inspiring the name of The Who's second rock opera.
Google+ was supposed to be the answer to Facebook.
Remember those days? That didn't end well for them, didn't it? The hype was real and it died as quickly as it began.
"I saw ads for it..."
That streaming service that lasted like two months. 'Qubi' or 'Qupi' I think?
Even bad timing aside (a mobile-based streaming service at a time when no one could really leave their house) the marketing was just horrible. I saw ads for it for nearly a week before I realized it was a new video streaming service, and by that point was so annoyed by the ads untrusting everything I didn't care at all, just out of spite. Also, I mean it was just YouTube you have to pay for and got worse content.
Not sure if this one has totally flopped yet, but I noticed while in Costco the other day that there are no longer any curved TVs. If Costco is no longer carrying them then I think we can assume they're going the way of the dodo.
"I thought it was a good idea..."
Google Wave. It was supposed to replace email with a more collaborative approach. Essentially it was like a dynamically-created discussion board you'd share with select people and you could have a more readable discussion than one with a bunch of forwards and CCs and the like.
I thought it was a good idea, but it flopped big time and Google got rid of it after a few years.
"They pushed really hard for those..."
Amazon's shopping buttons. They pushed really hard for those and I never saw the point.
They try a lot of things.
Not all of them are winners.
"It was supposed to..."
The Divergent series. It was supposed to kinda have a Hunger Games concept and all and try to be a replacement. The last two movies ended up being so unwatchable.
These were terrible.
When the actors gave up on them, you knew it was over.
"Now they're just used to..."
Segways were supposed to revolutionize travel and replace the automobile. Now they're just used for guided tours for dorks in tourist traps.
"These were the next, awesome way..."
Airship travel. These were the next, awesome way to travel long distances; in fact, the spire on top of the Empire State Building was meant as an anchoring point for airships.
The Hindenburg kind of put a damper on it, though.
"I had a friend in high school..."
I had a friend in high school who was preparing to go to film school. She swore up and down that 3DTV was the way of the future and one day all movies and tv shows would be in 3D.
The hype machine is a real thing...
...and you can't believe it all the time. Sucks to be the inventor... or the investor. (Looking at you, Quibi.)
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us all about them in the comments below!