Adolescence is very hard.
For one thing, your body is going through ten million changes and hormones at any given time.
For another, you don't really grasp what's happening to you. Everything feels like life or death. Everybody feels like they're operating in a way that they will nonstop for the rest of their lives.
Though that's not true, that feels impossible to understand.
Here were some of those answers.
Boundaries: The MusicalGiphy
Learn to say No, if a request makes you uncomfortable you can say No, even it's to family or friends! It's healthy to set boundaries and learn to respect others people's too :)
Car Keep Talking Talking Car Talk
As a parent of older teens, I'd like to offer a small bit of advice to parents of younger kids:
Always volunteer to drive them places. Your kid might not voluntarily talk to you at home, but they will in the car. I have no idea why this is, I figured this out quite by accident. I'm certain smarter people than me know why.
Their friends too...their friends will talk to you in the car, and if you have a bunch of kids in the car they'll almost forget you're there & you'll hear all kinds of things.
So yeah, be the parent that they can always count on for a ride.
A Love Thyself Moment
It's okay to take some time to take care of your mental health, nobody will hate you for it.
At my school they're trying to implement mental health teaching around the school. But imo they're doing it wrong. They're teaching to eat junk food and meditate. But it's important to note that caring for mental health can be as simple as reading a good book for a few hours when you're getting stressed
Forgiveness: Can You Imagine?
Your parents are just flawed people too. They are [mostly] trying their best, but will still make mistakes.
I absolutely agree. It is also important as parents to own your mistakes in front of your children. Not only does it teach them that we are not perfect, it shows we are willing to accept when we are wrong, apologise and we will learn to do better, accept their point of view and advice if it is about them personally too. It is important to let them accept your apology in their own time too, it shows that there are consequences, even as adults and it also teaches that sometimes a sorry isn't always enough.
Nobody is perfect, we will all mistakes along the way, it is how we deal with it that matters.
Love As A Verb
That we love and care about them, I think we often get caught up in day-to-day life and forget to tell them this.
I know my mother loves me, but she never told us, nor did she ever hug us or show physical affection.
So sometimes it's still hard to believe that I can be loved.
She did her best raising us as a single mother, and her being left by our father because he didn't love her any more seemed to translate to us a bit. I didn't feel affection growing up, I just remember bitterness and sadness. I know it wasn't easy for her.
If I have kids, I am going to do things differently.
There's nothing wrong with not liking to talk to people as long as you're friendly. Don't force yourself to be talkative just because others want you to be. You'll still need to learn social skills like gauging trustworthiness, effective communication, and helpfulness. However, you don't need to force yourself to be talkative to be socially adept; you juat have to be mindful.
The List Of Hindsight
Your emotions won't be this intense forever. But they are real and valid. My parents always invalidated my feelings — too dramatic, it's just your hormones, you'll grow out of it, you don't know how good you have it — while on some base level they possibly were right, it didn't mean my feelings weren't real and intense in that moment. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. But don't wallow or feed the Depression Kitty. It DOES get better.
If social media makes you feel sh*tty, just stop. It makes everyone feel sh*tty — even the people whose lives seem so much better and glamorous than yours. Chances are, they're posting that stuff to not feel shitty too. Remember, everyone is posting their Greatest Hits
. Remember, everybody poops — even the girl posting glam pics from Greece, she probably pooped right before or after the pic. Point is, don't get wrapped up in that. Take a month or two break from social media and see how you feel.
You don't HAVE to go to college. And you also don't have to NOT go if you don't know what to do with your life. You'll figure it out, maybe get inspired by your classes. And, as long as it will not launch you into a huge debt, it IS ok to Major in something you might not end up getting a career in. (To an extent). College is more than career training. It's a much bigger learning experience about... everything! People, the world, yourself. Don't dig a debt, work very hard, have lots of fun, and try to keep your eyes on a career path, but also absorb everything like a sponge.
I hated when people told me, "you won't even miss high school when you're older." I did, for a little bit. And now, I really don't. As important as it is as a state of your pre-adulthood, in the big scheme of things, it's just a tiny chapter. So don't get hung up on the mistakes you made or the drama you had. Appreciate the experience for what it gave you, and move on.
Lastly, and where I go all old lady, Please put your phone away in the car. Even at stoplights. Just wait until you arrive. You may be super used to it, but it only takes one second of inattention to become potentially fatal. Someone just died in my neighborhood for this very reason. Sending a snap. It can wait.
(edit to add #6) Teach yourself personal finance basics. Your school and maybe parents probably neglected this, if times haven't changed all that much. But... The internet is wonderful! You can teach yourself. Take an edX or Kahn or iTunesU course. Learn the basics and start saving. Really truly understand student loans before taking them. And save. Saving sounds like something you have plenty of time for later... when you make more money... but tomorrow never comes. Learn and save now.
It Goes Up From Here
A lot of people try to glamorize high school and make you think your high school years are the best years of your life. For a lot of people, this just isn't true. It's okay not to like high school or to feel like you don't belong. You are not alone. It gets better.
High schoolers deal with a lot of heavy sh!t. A lot of mental illness comes to light at this age, including depression and anxiety but also heavier stuff. Many who struggle with these issues won't get help until years later. High school kids also deal with a lot of issues, like identity issues, bullying, pressure to conform, disputes with parents, the pressure associated with juggling work, school and life that often get better once high school is done. Hang in there, it does get better.
Who You've Become
That we miss you & we actually want to spend time with you, not because of how you were (our little boy/girl) but because we are in awe of who you are and want to get to know you better, so you know we love you unconditionally but also that it's ok and fun to hang out sometimes; soon you'll be leaving home, time passes quickly, and we want to create as many good memories as we can for you so you can use them for when the world is not so kind and I'm not around to give you a hug... you're amazing, you've always been and I know your life will be filled with ups and downs but I hope the love we share reminds you that you'll always have a soft spot to land
The Measure Of A PersonGiphy
Be calm when arguing your point of view. Accept criticism, shrug off the type of personal attacks and ad hominems that don't contribute to the debate.
And don't measure how right you are by number of upvotes or downvotes.
It's amazing how one change to your lifestyle can improve your daily life.
Be it starting your day with yoga, eliminating foods that don't agree with you, or simply seeing your friends more often, something we're all eager to do after months of quarantine, it's amazing how one little change can make waking up and getting through your day more bearable.
Perhaps the only frustration that comes with this change, is that you only wished you'd started doing it sooner.
"What improved your life so much, you wished you did sooner?"
There is always fun to be had!
"I stopped living my life just waiting for the weekend."
"When you work 5 days a week and have just 2 off, it's not good to be always waiting for those 2 days."
"You can plan something meaningful or fun every day, even if it's just a small thing."- cake_or_cookies
Listening to your dentist can pay off.
"Actually, I use a water pick now."
"Now my hygiene and cleaning visits are a breeze, and I haven't had a cavity in years!"- perrydolia
A change of scene was just the ticket.
"Just packed up and moved thousands of miles away."
"Left everything behind and just started over."
"Besides some debt, a suit case, and contacts for only the non-toxic people in my life, it's been an extremely liberating experience."
"And looking back, nothing was really preventing me from doing it sooner, no real reasons at least."
"I just kept coming up with excuses not to do it until one day I couldn't think of one."- SpicyRiceAndTuna
No more language barriers!
"Now I have a lot of amazing latino friends and I got a lot of great gigs and opportunities because of it."- kellytai1478
Can't beat the commute
"Not everyone can afford this, but moving closer to work."
"My commute went from 45 miserable minutes in traffic glaring in hatred at the tail lights in front of me to a pleasant 15 minute bike ride."
"I got an hour of free time every day and better health."- munificent
When in doubt, check with your doctor
"Got a proper diagnosis."
"I think a lot of people that for years questioned themselves 'what’s wrong with me?' when they finally got diagnosed it’s a big relief and changes a lot in a better way."- popcornostar
There's no expiration date on education
"Bachelor degree at 47 years old."
"Master degree at 50 years old."
"Doubled my salary in 4 years, from just getting by to on track for retiring at 60."- scientistzero
Get your body moving!
"Exercise every day."
"Anxiety and depression are much easier to manage, and I got some confidence I haven't had in years."- darodardar_Inc
"Low impact cardio."
"F*ck, I loved to run, but it destroyed my legs."
"I can swim my little heart out."- Hyperion0000
Stop and enjoy the beauty of the world once and a while
"When I was told that I would lose my eyesight it made me pay more attention to how beautiful the sky was."
"I can still see and I enjoy watching the clouds on a level I can't even explain."- DaniB3
It's hard not to stop and wonder if our lives would have been even better had we made these changes earlier.
But no point in stopping and looking back, when you can just appreciate how great your life is now.
Streaming platforms like Netflix and Hulu have enough shows that we'll never have enough hours of our lives to watch all of them.
Nevertheless, we're thankful we'll never be in any shortage of entertainment without ever leaving the comfort of our home.
But even binging new shows can get exhausting because that means we have to search thousands of other titles to start the next binge once we're done with a previous fixation.
Sometimes, revisiting a show we've already watched many times before brings us comfort–even though we know the outcome of every episode every time we re-watch them.
It's not about that. It's more like hanging out with your buddies.
Curious to hear about viewers and their go-to programming, Redditor BaguetteOfDoom asked:
"What's your 'comfort series' that you watch over and over again?"
We can rely on these shows for a good laugh.
And who doesn't love to be in stitches these days?
Hanging With The Bluth Family
"Arrested Development, daily."
The Misfits We Grew To Love
"Freaks and Geeks!"
A Look Into The Lives Of The Creatures Of The Night
"What we do in the shadows"
"Jackie Daytona is comedy gold. His human disguise absolutely kills me."
Not Your Average American Family
"Malcolm in the Middle"
"phenomenal from the first episode to the last."
Medical, courtroom, procedurals, and sci-fi adventures are all reliable genres we can revisit at any point, without having to understand minor, continuous storylines.
Just What The Doctor Ordered
"When I was in grad school it was House, M.D. No matter where I was at - dorm room, library, memorial union - if I was writing I also had House up on Netflix. During my year and a half I bet I watched that series 5 or 6 times. Such a great show."
The Perfect Portal For Escapism
"I have watched so much SG-1 I couldn't even begin to count how many times I've seen it all the way through. I'm with you on that one."
Further Adventures In The Final Frontier
"Star Trek TNG"
"Came here to say this. Each episode is so self contained it makes it easy to pickup and watch."
Now, That Settles It
"Fun little show. Pretty formulaic. But the good guys always win, the bad guys always lose, there's action, and a healthy dose of humor in every episode."
"The cast meshes very well together, too."
Some classics just warrant viewing on an endless loop.
Time To Share Cheesecake With Old Friends
"The Golden Girls."
"I’ve watched a golden girls episode almost everyday for the past 20 years. The jingle that plays right after the theme song puts me in the best mood."
A Personal Connection
"SpongeBob. When my dad passed the last gift I had from him was a huge SpongeBob plushie.. I religiously watched the series while trying to cope with my loss. And, as stupid as it sounds, SpongeBobs happiness and dorkiness often took me away from my dark times. He will always be my favorite."
"Edit: Thank you for all the rewards, I didn't expect it to take off like this. SPONGEBOB FOR THE WIN!"
"Always follow your heart, unless your heart is bad with directions." 💞
Aliens, The Supernatural, Government Conspiracies, Oh My!
"Mine too! Going to rewatch Memento Mori and through Redux this week."
My friends know this about me, but I'm a huge fan of the college drama, Felicity.
The show aired on the WB network in the late 90s-early 2000s and the showrunner was none other than J.J. Abrams.
The show is worth repeated viewing for me because the performances in that show were stellar.
I notice different subtle nuances that Keri Russell so brilliantly brought to the quirky character–who followed her high school obsession, Ben Covington, from Palo Alto, California to New York City–every time I re-watch my, yes, DVDs of the show.
Sadly, the controversial haircut is what has gone down in the annals of bad decisions on TV. But I assure you, the show is MUCH more than that.
But now that it's on Hulu, the sepia-toned, restrained, angsty drama still holds up and can be seen on Hulu. I strongly suggest you go watch it, and fall in love.
With the evolution of humanity also comes the evolution of invention.
From the invention of the wheel to to electric cars, there are countless inventions which have no doubt made the world a better place.
But are there some inventions which we might have been better off without?
Redditor DJWP137 was curious to hear which inventions the Reddit community thought may have done the world a disservice, leading them to ask:
"What, in your opinion, is the worst thing humans ever created?"
I've got nowhere to put anything!
"Fake pockets."- kibalevGiphy
My kids couldn't grow up soon enough
Benefits absolutely no one
"All of them."
"A tool with no other purpose than to inflict misery is about as far from humanity as humanly possible."
"I’m referring to the definition of humanity which means 'humaneness or benevolence'."
"Not 'having to do with human kind'."- Willzyx_on_the_moon
"Chemical and biological weapons."- SuvenPan
Always remember to hold your breath when pumping gas.
"It's believed that in the U.S. alone, leaded gasoline caused the loss of about 824,000,000 IQ points."- DeletedImmediatelygas gasoline GIFGiphy
Just round up the measly penny!
"Items that end in .99 cents."
"Pure evil!"- CarloTheGoat
One less step to damage your lungs!
"Pre-rolled and packaged cigarettes."
"In the 1950’s, a pack of cigarettes was just 25 cents."
"Cheap, convenient, and easily available, even to children."
"While a responsible store might not sell them to a ten year old, supermarket vending machines didn’t care."
"The public didn’t know much about their danger back then and ads even told the public about how Doctors loved to smoke, implying that smoking had the blessing of the medical establishment."- Sxzym
Hours wasted in front of a screen
"League of legends."- _Duckling04
"Social Media in some ways."
"Social media has had an amazing amount of influence, but for all the good that it does, it also creates a 'toxic mirror' effect."
"This is the concept of making people feel bad about themselves by constantly being exposed to information that would make them create negative opinions about themselves."
"The toxic mirror makes anything that isn’t physical, emotional, and mental perfection, ugly and bad for that person."
"Beyond the toxic mirror, many people use social media in ways that hurt the people around them."
"The manifestation of a social persona can often present the opportunity for a user to put out very public misinformation."
"This break from reality further muddies people’s ability to properly identify risk, putting them in harmful situations."
"The Internet is filled with trolls, stalkers, and bullies."
"These groups are allowed to run rampant, as people don’t have a lot of resources to ward against them."
"These individuals hide behind their Internet persona, making civil action against them extremely difficult."
"Cyberbullying, specifically, can cause great harm to people of all ages."- KnotKarmasocial media facebook GIF by weinventyouGiphy
They achieve nothing except making me feel bad about myself
"Credit scores and algorithms that value engagement over quality of content so that sh*tty provocative things which get 100s of hate responses and volatile comments are all anyone sees and thinks we're all the worst of humanity."
"It's like that South Park arc about the Danish trolls coming to fruition, a posts something to get a rise out of b who responds which makes c and d respond and so on."
"Only it's like all the internet is."
"A pyramid scheme of rage clicks."- renaaria
Only time will tell what else modern inventors have in store for us.
For better or worse.
The first time we all have sex is such a nerve wracking experience.
Everybody wants to be good. No... GREAT!
That probability is highly unlikely though.
There is so much to learn and navigate when it comes to sex.
RedditorBobirrrwanted to talk about the birds and the bees and all the information that surprised us. They asked:
"What did you not know about sex until you lost your virginity?"
GuidesBaseball Fail GIFGiphy
"You gotta guide it much more than you think."
"Just because you’re having sex doesn’t mean you’ll become good at it without a remarkable amount of trial and error."
"More than trial and error, you gotta ask your partner how it was, what they liked and didn’t like and what they want to try. Being able to have an open and honest conversation about sex with your partner makes it so much better."
"Agreed. An ex friend of mine boasted that he was great in bed because his body count was over 50. Bro, if your body count is that high at that age, it means no one’s coming back for more."
"When you have that mindset you won’t ever get the chance. It’s not that big of a deal and not something you need to put that much pressure on that you’re fretting about it like this. It’ll come, just be you and don’t sweat about it. I was 21 when I lost my virginity and all my friends were 15-18 when they lost theirs. I don’t regret when it happened and I don’t feel like I was late or missing out, it just happened when it happened."
"That two bellies rubbed together at just the right angle can make a loud fart noise. Funny tho when it does happen for the first time."
I hate that noise. Gross. It's confusing.
Stylemasturbation im horny GIFGiphy
"How you pleasure yourself can be a huuuge influence on your sex life."
It'a All New
"Instead of just after virginity, after years of having sex and looking back at my first time where my partner was much more experienced than me, I’ve realised that pretty much all sex with a new person, virginity or not, feels new. I was really hung up on being good at it when I should’ve treated it as a learning experience for the next time."
Too Much Porn
"That foreplay is SUPER important. You don't see it too much in a lot of porn so until you get into the bedroom you don't really consider the prep. Often times you just see people going at it which is great and all but everything is much better when both parties are warmed up."
It makes sense...
"That I was allergic to latex."
"Same. Friends would talk about having sex multiple times a day, and I was over here wondering WHY they would ever put themselves through that. It took days to recover. Someone finally mentioned a latex allergy, and it all made sense."
"Omg this. Except my allergy was fairly mild. It meant peeling skin a couple days later. Literally took me years to find out why that was."
Noises OffGrocery Store Reaction GIF by TravisGiphy
"The large amount of sounds that can be produced by the human body."
Take note friends. Nobody is perfect out of the gate. Take you time. Do it right.