If you’re anything like me, you spent your childhood dreaming about getting your Hogwarts letter, thinking about what you wanted to learn, and ignoring your real class schedule in favor of making an O.W.L. schedule.
Chances are, you never thought about the negative side of the wizarding school. Magic, however, is dangerous, especially when it can be used by youngsters.
The fact that the teenagers in the Harry Potter books didn’t abuse magic in any way is nothing short of a miracle.
We know how teenagers are. They’re adventurous, emotional, creative, and a little crazy. With access to magic, all of that would be amplified. There’s no way teenagers wouldn’t find ways to abuse magic at Hogwarts.
Curious to know how exactly magic would be abused, Redditor Animeking1108 asked:
“How would teenagers realistically misuse magic at Hogwarts?”
Watch What You Drink
"Those things are literal roofies if you're so inclined to use them that way. If the books were in any way realistic Viktor Krum would have had his pumpkin juice roofied on an hourly basis."
"The flip side would also be super common: "out of love" potions. Especially if love potions were banned or punished severely. If you can't make your crush love you, the next best thing is making them forget about their crush."
"I'm shocked I scrolled as far as I did to find this response; it was my first thought. Teenagers think they've found the love of their life and will just die if their love is unrequited."
"Source: Was a teenager once upon a time..."
"Eye Of Rabbit, Harp String Hum..."
"Turning water into rum."
"I’ll keep my eyebrows, thanks."
The Obvious Answer
"Every year there's a different boy who ends up in the infirmary after using engorgio on his d*ck and fainting from the rush of blood."
"More like every week..."
"The female equivalent is using that spell on their breasts…only for their sheer weight to break their spine."
Bibbity, Bobbity, Be Careful!
"After reading these, I think there would be a big market on putting a parental lock on certain spells on wands bought for kids."
"The wand system they have is basically giving every preteen a very complicated gun, and hope they don't learn how to pull most of its triggers."
"You saw that when James Potter suspended Snapes in the air for no reason. Bullying would be 100 times worse."
"God it would be so much worse. In primary school the strong bully the weak overwhelmingly. But then things gets flipped on their head in Hogwarts. Physical strength is no longer an advantage, all that matters is magical ability. So many of these weak or small kids who have been bullied for their whole lives get a taste of actual power and want revenge. So they repeat the cycle, particularly against those they think would have bullied them without magic. And they are merciless channeling years of pent-up aggression against anyone who doesn’t pose a real magical threat."
Spells Going Awry
"avada kedavra rampages would be more common."
"Imagine the number of accidental deaths because you Wingardium Levio-SAH your classmates."
What They Require
"The room of requirements would probably be a sex room."
"Or a place to grow magically enchanted weed plants"
"Who said it isn't?"
"“It’s also known as the come and go room”"
Accio Anything I Want
"Using spells to steal things"
"As far a I can remember, we don't know the limitations of Accio. Does the thing you summon have to be yours? Harry summoned the trophy in Goblet of Fire in the cemetery. What about distance? Harry summons his broom from the castle while being in the quidditch stadium."
The International Statute of Secrecy
"Muggle Born students would get expelled because they posted videos of themselves performing magic on social media."
"wifi connection to their brain."
That Would Be Useful
"I personally need a steady supply of something to make my hangover disappear"
Since I’m an adult, I would never abuse magic that way. Hogwarts letter, where art thou?
I never know the age of anything.
It's funny how we look at certain aspects of life and just have a certain sense of nostalgia attached.
Take Adele for instance. It feels like she's been a part of our lives forever.
But she's only 4 albums in.
That's a drop in the musical bucket.
A very magical and musical bucket.
Redditor LunchCautious8781 wanted to talk about some items that seem old but may still be in the beginning stages.
"What do most people not realize is newer than they actually think?"
Iphones. 14 generations is not that far on. Let's talk at 50.
+/-Pregnancy Test Im Pregnant GIF by Shay MitchellGiphy
"Home pregnancy tests, in the 1970s. No longer do we have to inject the lady’s urine into frogs, mice, or rabbits to confirm a pregnancy!"
"The knowledge that it’s bad to drink when pregnant. Only became widely known in the 80s."
"This one boggles my mind. Alcohol isn't exactly new -- the ancient greeks had wine and mead. The temperance movement was active for a good hundred years before they got the 18th Amendment."
"But nope. While there were certainly some alarms raised throughout history, people were surprised to learn about fetal alcohol syndrome in 1973, and it wasn't confirmed by a second group of researchers until 1979. In the 60's through 80's it was apparently common for doctors to give alcohol intravenously to women to stop premature labor. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_alcohol_spectrum_disorder#History"
"The word sibling was coined in 1903."
"I learned in English class in 1990 that English didn't have a word for sibling. Later, they said there was a word but no one used it in everyday speech. My mind was a little blown the first time I saw someone actually use it online, around 1999."
"This is totally false. The word sibling was coined in Old English and used to refer to anyone who was related to you. It fell out of use for a little while, then was brought back in the 1900s to exclusively refer to brothers and sisters. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/sibling#Etymology"
"Having to show ID at the US/Canada border. Prior to 9/11 they often wouldn't even ask to see a drivers license."
"Same at the Mexican border, even after 9/11. I can remember going down to Puerto Penasco around 2002 or 2003 and just being waved through on the way home. Didn't even have to roll my window down, much less show an ID."
Carb HistoryBread Oprah GIFGiphy
"Ciabatta bread goes all the way back to the early 1980s. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ciabatta#Italy"
"Haha I heard of that too, awhile back. I went googling it again and apparently baguettes are from early ~1900s. Crazy, I would've thought they'd be historical."
Oh that is good bread.
"Boxer briefs are fairly new to the scene, becoming popular in the 1990s."
"I'm happy they did. My favorite underwear."
"Tomatoes are actually a new world crop. So when you associate Italy with pasta sauce, you're actually thinking of Italy, post Columbian Exchange (mid 1500s). And actually, tomato sauce wasn't even integrated into Italian cuisine until the late 19th century, so go figure."
"What hit me the other day: Germany. It was only reunified 30 years ago."
"Same with Italy. Not that it was reunified 30 years ago, but it hasn’t been a country as long as America has."
"I was actually just thinking about this last night because Google Rewards gave me a survey asking about my feelings towards Trabant as a brand: https://i.imgur.com/3lUyozZ.jpgI really don't know why it wanted to know my opinion on a brand that went defunct when the Berlin wall fell lol."
"The theory of plate tectonics. It pretty much makes up the entire backbone of modern geology, yet it wasn't actually accepted until the 1960s. Alfred Wegener proposed his theory of continental drift in 1915 but couldn't explain the mechanism behind it so his theory was dismissed."
mechanism behind it so his theory was dismissed."
"Over the next few decades, the evidence of crustal movement became undeniable and plate tectonics developed as a theory. It's just crazy to me that geologists were pretty much completely clueless until around 60 years ago."
Inhabitants...Read New Zealand GIF by Rugby World CupGiphy
"New Zealand! Its indigenous population only arrived there about 800 years ago, despite Australia just across the Tasman having been inhabited for 75,000 plus years."
History short and long is fascinating.
Why do families keep secrets?
The truth will always finds a way home.
And it will of course be exposed at the most inopportune time.
Make sure you have a journal and write this stuff down.
It could be comedy/drama gold.
The tea is scolding, throw it at me.
Redditor AbsoluteHavoc wanted to heard all of the family drama that we've heard unleashed.
So they asked:
"What family secret was finally spilled in your family?"
Years LaterFamily GIFGiphy
"Found out my grandma had a baby as a teenager and was forced to give him up for adoption by my great grandparents. 40 years later he found us."
"Same thing happened to my mom. I'm 33 now, older half-brother is roughly 35. I hold hope that I'll meet him one day."
Nod & Agree
"That my parents 'had' to get married. They always told us they got married in 1961, but it was 1962, 3 months before my sister was born."
"What's amusing is that my father was an accountant who was insanely fast with math. Whenever he was asked how many years they'd been married, he'd be off by one. My mother would correct him through clenched teeth and then my father would nod and agree."
23 and me surprise...
"My great grandmother wasn’t actually Mexican but rather was adopted by a Mexican family from a Chinese family who was being kicked out of Mexico when railroad construction was over. She always had more typically Asian features but only spoke Spanish and it was never really questioned. 23 and me is a hell of a thing."
"When my paternal grandfather died the federal govt reached out to do a state funeral. He'd been career army and a colonel, so we didn't question it. Then the funeral came and they went ALL OUT! Huge procession, people showing up who are really big names, like heads of dept's, senators, retired senators, people from the CIA and State Dept, it was nuts and we were all super confused."
"Turns out he was a key dude in the OSI during WWII and when the OSI splintered into the CIA and Secret Service, he went the Secret Service route. He wasn't on White House detail, but instead worked in a covert office that dealt with counterfeiting and currency."
"He went blind when I was a toddler and retired from 'the Army.' For whatever reason, he told no one about all his covert work with the OSI and Secret Service and the only person who knew (my grandmother) was sworn to secrecy and never told anyone. My father grew up thinking he was just a colonel working on base."
"Only after his death were we given all sorts of cool s**t like publications by him, lectures given by him, and all kinds of things from various things he did and was known for. All I knew him as was a blind old man who was perpetually smoking, drinking and being a crotchety b**tard. Turns out he was a bad motherf**ker and all but none of us knew."
True CrimeConsider True Crime GIF by Dateline NBCGiphy
"My father's brother killed 4 girls when he was in high school. My father was the one who found out and told the police."
Good Lord. What in the world?
The Generation BeforeJoe Biden Shock GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy
"My grandparents are first cousin’s... an uncle on the same side of the family is in prison for the assassination of a presidential candidate (family still says he was framed and is innocent)."
"This is kind of messed up, but my parents told me my mom had a bad back because i pushed on her spine during birth. this was what I thought all my childhood. I think I was in my teens when my older brother told me my dad pushed my mom during an argument and she fell and had to have surgery. I thought I ruined my mom's back my entire childhood and those SOBs let me believe it "
"My mother is kid #7 of 10. My aunt (kid #4) who was born in 1945 did her DNA and found out that she has a different father from everyone else. She was devastated. There was always rumor that there was an affair but nobody talked about it. She has so many questions but nobody's alive to answer her."
"When I was 5 years old (1988), Santa Clause left a Nintendo on our front porch. It was wrapped in newspaper, and my parents had no idea who gifted it to us. My dad, particularly, tried to figure it out. He was always suspicious that it had been a family friend. It was by far the best gift of the year, and we played it all the time throughout our childhood."
"My dad died in 2004."
"Last Christmas, my mom explained that she was the one who had bought it and surreptitiously placed it on the porch. My dad really liked to be in control of things and had forbidden the purchase. She knew better. She didn't tell a soul for 30 years."
In the Swamp...Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"I only just recently heard about this, but my grandmother had gotten a little drunk with my dad and brother a month or so ago and started talking about our great uncle Ferber (not sure on the spelling), but from what I heard he apparently killed quite a few people and buried them on some family-owned land in a swamp."
Well if there was ever any reason to change your last name and move.
Do you have anything your itching to get off your chest about your family tree? Let us know in the comments.
In one of the more memorable moments of the teen comedy classic Mean Girls, Queen Bee Regina George often rejects Gretchen Weiner's attempts at making "Fetch" part of the commonplace jargon at North Shore High School.
Even if we might not react the same way as the domineering Regina George, who hasn't found themselves rolling their eyes on numerous occasions when people use Buzzwords and contemporary phrases in the workplace.
Be it out of an attempt to appear cooler, or amidst fears of being politically incorrect, job listings, inter-office memos, and speeches at corporate events always feature commonly used buzzwords or buzzwords those speaking hope might find their way into everyday speech.
Much to the annoyance, if not outright disdain of those on the receiving end.
"What are the most annoying corporate buzzwords or phrases you’re sick of?"
"Take a more holistic approach"- MGM1312
Don't give me adjectives, give me the amounts!
"Competitive pay."- AJackOffAllTrade
Not Everyone Loves Their Family...
"'Our workers are part of our family' or something along the lines of that."- NotJoeMama727Season 8 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy
That Wasn't In The Job Description
"'We all wear multiple hats around here'."
"I hear this everyday."
"It's just an excuse to not hire anyone else."- ChurchWineDrunk
Don't Sacrifice The Grammar...
"When someone refers to a request as an 'ask'.”- Alpha_State
Life In The "Fast" Lane...
"'Willing to work in fast-paced environment'."
"*ends up in cubicle*."- Raven0ussOver It Reaction GIF by jjjjjohnGiphy
Where Do You Even Begin?
“'OK guys, we’re going to stay off-line today, take a deep dive to drill down and ignore the low hanging fruit, run some ideas up the flagpole and bubble the consequences to the top of the heap'."
"'The bottom line, according to the hive mind, is that we have to circle back, not reinvent the wheel, and reach out to make sure our deliverables are on everyone’s radar'."
"'Let’s not step on each other’s toes as we touch base, so here’s a heads up, when you’re thinking outside the box, please make sure we’re singing from the same hymn sheet, especially in acurated B2B environment'."
"'We need to leverage cutting edge synergy while optimizing our innovative solutions, otherwise our newly on-boarded micro-influencers will never disrupt the market before the deadline reaches terminal velocity'.”- poxymoron1
Or "Rockstar" Anything...
"'Rockstar developer' fortunately seems to be declining."-Tbone139
It's Not Attractive To Gloat...
"Win win win."
"My companies execs have started saying that for anything that's good."
"Firstly people said win win for something that was good for both parties, this makes sense."
"One popular exec said win win win once for something that helped us, our third party partners and the customer."
"That's fine as a one off and a good play on the original expression."
"But now every exec says it's a win win win when something good happens."
"They're not even a win win, just something that's good for one party."- NotACockroachWinning The Office GIFGiphy
I Should Hope So!
"We have values."- Jakaple
With workplace culture being monitored more than ever, it's understandable why some old school bosses and CEOs want to be more with the times.
As a result, they might choose their words very carefully, maybe too carefully, in an effort to impress their employees, not to mention the public.
However, there might be an even better way of doing that.
By simply being a good boss.
It pays to know another language. Being bilingual can open many doors.
It's also pretty useful for eavesdropping, not that we're endorsing that.
As a Spanish speaker—hooray for growing up in a bilingual household!—I have always been rather humored by moments when people were talking about me... under the impression that I didn't know what they were saying.
Imagine their faces once I proved them wrong!
Those who speak any other language have undoubtedly had a similar experience at least once.
People shared their stories with us after Redditor 64eight asked the online community,
"Multilinguals, what's your 'They didn't realise I could understand their language' story?"
"I was in Germany..."
"Am ethnically Chinese but grew up learning German."
"I was in Germany for student exchange and attended a dorm party one night. Two German guys at the party started flirting with me and openly discussed who would be able to sleep with me that night."
"Played dumb and rejected both their advances. A week later at another party I conversed with other friends in fluent German in front of them. Their expressions were priceless."
I bet they were shocked! What a power move.
"My dad was down the aisle..."
"Very innocent comment towards my Dad, but regardless they clearly didn't think I could understand them. I once overheard some middle aged guys say that my Dad looks like "the oldest kid from The Brady Bunch if he grew up" in Spanish."
"My dad was down the aisle getting something and I was manning the cart and they were semi near me. I just start laughing because my mom had a crush on Greg from The Brady Brunch as a kid,so it was perfect! Even my Dad's name is Greg!"
"No one was offended, but the guys did look scared for a minute."
I bet they were scared. Must have given you quite a laugh!
"I responded in Spanish..."
"It happens to me all the time because I look middle-eastern when I'm really Hispanic. I was working at a coffee shop and two hispanic men came in talking mad s**t about our food and confused about the menu."
"Right in front of me the guy's like "Lets ask this guy" "This guy? What's this camel gonna know about anything here" (I guess camel is a slur for middle eastern or something?). I responded in Spanish and it was back-pedal o'clock."
Serves them right, if you ask me. Hopefully they learned a valuable lesson.
"In high school..."
In high school I spoke Spanish fairly well. It was not common for that time and for my area."
"A family was buying groceries, and as I was ringing up the items the father said "he has not seen the stuff on the bottom, don't get it."
"I rang up what was on the belt, and sat there, after a few moments I asked about the stuff on the bottom. They would not look at me for the next 2 mins or so of the transaction."
Few places can inspire interactions like this more than the supermarket checkout line!
"I took a youth group to Six Flags..."
"I took a youth group to Six Flags. We had extra tickets from a couple of no-shows, so I decided to scalp them."
"A Korean family walked up and I made my pitch. They conferred together in Korean. I'm a white guy, but I lived in rural Korea for a year and bargained with a lot of shopkeepers, so I knew their counter-offer and what they were willing to pay before they announced it in English."
A secret skill! Look at you go. Oh to be a fly on the wall and see their reactions!
"I was in NYC..."
"I'm French. I was in NYC, on top of the Empire State Building and a young couple was standing next to me admiring the view, the guy turns to his gf and says in French "ahh I need to s**t so bad". I couldn't not laugh."
Can't blame you! One of the best things about knowing another language is catching moments like that.
"I was solo traveling..."
"I was solo traveling in Morocco. I'm 22, female and speak Arabic enough to understand conversations, basic words and phrases, etc. I was trying on clothes at a small shop and there were two women helping me choose what to try on."
"They started talking about me in Arabic, saying how I would be a great wife for one of the lady's sons. They were going on and on, and as I was leaving I responded in Arabic, "No thank you, but I appreciate your help," and they were stunned."
Good thing you could speak enough to get by! You could have been in an awkward situation!
"Oh, the cooks..."
"Oh the cooks at my job still don't know I'm fluent in Spanish. Yes, I know everything you're saying, Alejo."
Restaurants must be full of juicy drama and you have heard all of it!
"My wife is Indian..."
"My wife is Indian and her family speaks Gujarati. I've spent many years trying to pick it up and have found it to be very difficult as there are no great resources that I am aware of to learn it. You just have to listen and try to guess the context."
"Anyway, over the years I've gotten pretty good, and when my wife's aunt was visiting from India she went right in to my wife about how much weight I'd gained and how bad my diet must be."
"I understood every word and stopped her about two minutes into her rant. Turns out it didn't stop her from continuing."
She didn't even stop? Boundaries much?
If you happen to know another language, you pretty much have a secret superpower at your disposal! People will think twice about what they say around you, as they should.
Have stories of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!