Tech Support People Share The Most Awful Situations They've Ever Had To Deal With
NOT always the server.
[rebelmouse-image 18360961 is_animated_gif=_**_Here's another tale from the out of hours hell desk... This gem happened a few days ago.
Me: Service Desk
Caller: THE SERVER IS DOWN YOU NEED TO FIX THIS NOW
Me: Which server are you referring to?
Caller: THE SERVER!
Me: okay... what is it that you are trying to do?
Caller: TRYING TO ACCESS THE GOD DAMN SERVER
(yes, she was SHOUTING the entire time)
Me: Please can you stop shouting at me and tell me which server you are talking about or what it is that you are trying to do? has many different servers for different things, I need to know exactly what isn't working?
Caller: HOLY CRAP THE SERVER ISN'T WORKING. THE. SERVER. ISN'T. WORKING. YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME.
(In the background I've already loaded up our server monitoring tools - no alerts)
Me: I've checked our monitoring, I'm not seeing any servers as being down. Which department are you calling from?
Caller: IRRELEVANT. FIX THE GOD DAMN SERVER NOW.
Me: Can I get your Staff ID please?
Caller: IRRELEVANT. click
10 minutes later...
Me: Service Desk
Caller: HOLY CRAP THE GOD DAMN SERVER IS STILL DOWN!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT THIS?
Me: Nothing.
Caller: EXCUSE ME? NOTHING?
Me: You still haven't told me which server is down or what is not actually working?
Caller: YOU PEOPLE! IT'S OBVIOUS MY PHONE ISN'T WORKING I CAN'T MAKE CALLS. THE SERVER HAS GONE DOWN YOU NEED TO CALL YOUR PEOPLE AND FIX THIS.
Me: Ma'am I can see you are calling me from your Desk Phone, is that correct?
Caller: YES!
Me: and this is the phone you can not make calls from, correct?
Caller: YES!
Me: ...
Me: Do you see why I'm having trouble understanding the problem?
Caller: THE SERVER IS DOWN I CAN'T CALL
Me: Ma'am that number is 3 digits short of a valid number, that is why the call is not connecting.
Caller: LISTEN THE SERVER IS OBVIOUSLY DOWN. I'LL HAVE MY PEOPLE CALL YOUR PEOPLE ABOUT THIS! click
I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.
Macaveli54and boss decided to have a little fun with the ridiculous.
So I had a customer call me up in mobile tech support with the problem that his data wasn't working for 20 minutes, pretty quickly I find out why; he had accidentally turned off his data on the phone menu (which happens a lot but usually the customer goes "oops silly me"). So this customer starts demanding that he want's compensation for his time without service and being very rude about it. After a couple of minutes he's not taking this is not something we did, but his mistake as a answer, so I get an idea, I tell him I'm going to go speak to my manager. I went up to my manager, explain what's happening, he says the customer's being ridiculous and I said,
"Listen I have this idea for him, are you okay with this?" then explain my idea.
"Are you kidding? Let me get on call listening before you go back, I wanna hear this."
I go back to the phone, he gave me the thumbs up that he was ready to listen and I proceed.
"Right sir, I just had a word with my manager and I've managed to swing something for you, so let's break this down, you pay us 39.99 a month for 3 services; calls, texts and data, so let's divide your bill by 3 that give us 13.33, so let's divide further by 30 days to gives 44 pence for your daily data, now you had your data turned off for 20 minutes but for the purpose of this I'll round it up to an hour so we just need to divide that 44 pence by 24 hours so that means your looking at compensation of 1.8 pence so let's just say 2."
I looked over at my manager during and he was covering his mouth laughing. Customer goes;
"Are you having a f@#*ing laugh?"
"No sir the math is there."
"............Go on then I'll take it"
Each of us is someone's IT person now and again.
[rebelmouse-image 18360962 is_animated_gif=LTLFTP+Hard to format on mobile.
Ok, so I am by no means an IT but the one who everyone in my family call when they need help.
So I get a call from my grandpa (89 yrs old) about a new win 10 laptop he just got and he needs help setting it up.
Now keep in mind he is the kind of person to blame the machinery if he clicks on the wrong thing so I already knew this would not end in a phone call - so I drove to his place expecting to see it still in the box. That was not the case.
When I arrive, I see him already in his desktop, after he somehow managed to install windows correctly on his own accord - and waiting for me while playing minesweeper. As he greets me, he freaking ALT+F4's to close the game and then tells me he cannot connect to the internet.
Not sure what happened in the week I wasn't there, I ask if he could show me the problem.
He then OPENS CMD AND PINGS HIS OWN CELLPHONE and then points at the 0 packets text to show me there is no connection.
At this point id probably look less surprised if I see an alien invasion.
So after showing him that you need to enter the password to connect to his home wifi, he then asks me how to see his email account again.
Still completely stunned, I show him how to access his outlook account and how to delete some messages.
And the craziest part- when I asked him how did he know about CMD his answer was: "I learned it from grandma".
WHERE ARE MY RECYCLABLES?!!
[rebelmouse-image 18360963 is_animated_gif=_Give me my recyclables!! WHERE ARE MY RECYCLABLES?!! _
Hey everyone, thought I would share this tale from one of my IT buddies. He had this one woman that would always puts tickets in for the smallest things. But this one takes the cake.
People:
IT - IT Buddy
CW - Confused Woman
IT saw a ticket had come in and it was from CW. It said: "You deleted all my files! I need them to do my job!" IT called CW to see what was going on because we don't delete personal files off of people's computers unless there is a good reason for it and we have the user's permission. So while he was on the phone, he remotes into her computer and noticed everything but the recycling bin was missing on her desktop. He noticed that there was files in the recycling bin, so he opened it and all her files are there.
IT: Here are all your files, did you move them into here?
CW: Yes I did, I moved them in here to recycle them so they will be clean for me to work on them.
IT: .....Excuse me?
CW: Yes, I move them to the recycling bin to make them new again so I can reuse the files.
IT: This is the trash bin, you would move files here to delete them off of your computer.
CW: IT IS NOT A TRASH CAN, IT IS A RECYCLING BIN! IT SAYS SO RIGHT UNDER THE ICON!
So for the next half hour, my buddy had to teach her how to use the recycling bin.
Helldesk
[rebelmouse-image 18360964 is_animated_gif=I work at a local authority on the helldesk. Social workers are the bane of my existence but you learn to cope with their general incompetence as part of the job. But sometimes they can still surprise you. This happened today.
So, we use a generic username for most of our computers so that people can log onto the machine, then from there they log into Citrix to work. Everyone knows the username and password for this. It's literally written on the walls in most areas, because the only thing it can access is another login page, so it isn't a security issue. Most of these accounts stay logged on at all times to save confusing the geniuses that work here. A guy rang up, said hello and asked for the generic login details. I've changed the exact username and password but other than that this is more or less word for word:
Genius: So what's the username?
Me: It's 'Computer'.
Genius: so is that the asset number of the PC?
Me: No no, it's just the word 'Computer'
Genius: And then backslash my name?
Me: NO. It's the word 'Computer.' C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R. Computer. nothing else.
Genius: And what's the password?
Me: It's 'P4ssword'. As in, the word 'Password' with a capital 'P', but you replace the 'a' with a '4'.
Genius: So it's 'Password4'?
Me: NO. It is not. It is 'P-4-s-s-w-o-r-d' With a capital P at the beginning. Everything else is lower case.
Genius: Ok, so the username is ComputerP4ssword. What's the password?
Me: NO. The username is Computer. The password is 'P4ssword'. That's everything. Just two words. Two boxes, two words.
Genius: type type type It didn't work. I typed in 'password' but it said it's incorrect.
Me: Spell out what you typed for me please.
Genius: 'p-a-s-s-w-o-r-d'
Me: very slowly and clearly, in case it was my accent or something ... Like i said. CAPITAL P. NUMBER FOUR. LOWER CASE S, LOWER CASE S, LOWER CASE W, LOWERCASE O, LOWERCASE R, LOWER CASE D. P4ssword.
Genius: type type click Nope. And it says the account is locked. I used a capital P this time definitely.
Me: did you use a 4 instead of the a?
Genius: Use four whats?
I remoted to the machine and typed it in for him. He complained that the system was needlessly complicated.
Special users
[rebelmouse-image 18360965 is_animated_gif=Every office has their special users. The ones who can't figure out anything technical, everything is an emergency, and everything has to function exactly the same or they can't work. At my job, it is the HR lady. Since she is just HR, all her problems boil down to a printer error, excel, word, reboot and it works type of issues, and since I am the System admin they are all my responsibility.
However, every issue she has she comes back to IT, walks right by my desk goes to the programmer, manager, network admin and explains the issue. Every time they either tell her to go me (even though she gets rude), or relay the info to me to fix.
A few weeks back, she had a problem with the calculations on an excel spreadsheet. Everyone was at lunch, so she's forced to ask me. Immediately, I say it is probably rounding up or down because it is only off by a penny. This doesn't suffice, so she ignores me and waits until lunches are done to return. She goes to programmer guy and like usual, he passes it to me. I email her with a breakdown showing how it is rounding. She still wants programmer guy to look at it, so my manager responds with a message saying he will get to when he can.
Well, programmer guy is swamped, the new website launch is getting pushed out, her excel "problem" gets shelved with her emails coming ever more frequent. My manager even resends my explanation, but she wants programmer guy to look at it. This is unacceptable, so she goes to the VP saying we aren't helping her.
My boss sets up a meeting with the 3 of us for me to explain the issue. It was the shortest meeting ever because I start explaining it and our VP completely understands right away. The VP cuts me off, looks at HR lady and says "You pulled me into a meeting for this?"
TLDR; HR lady with easy issue ignores obviously solution only to be burned by VP.
Seriously, techies have the patience of Gob.
[rebelmouse-image 18360966 is_animated_gif=Seriously, techies have the patience of Gob.
I witnessed this astounding IT meltdown around 2004 in a large academic organization.
An employee decided to send a broad solicitation about her need for a local apartment. She happened to discover and use an all-employees@org.edu type of email address that included everyone. And by "everyone," I mean every employee in a 30,000-employee academic institution. Everyone from the CEO on down received this lady's apartment inquiry.
Of course, this kicked off the usual round of "why am I getting this" and "take me offa list" and "omg everyone stop replying" responses... each reply-all'ed to all-employees@org.edu, so 30,000 new messages. Email started to bog down as a half-million messages apparated into mailboxes.
IT Fail #1: Not necessarily making an all-employees@org.edu email address - that's quite reasonable - but granting unrestricted access to it (rather than configuring the mail server to check the sender and generate one "not the CEO = not authorized" reply).
That wasn't the real problem. That incident might've simmered down after people stopped responding.
In a 30k organization, lots of people go on vacay, and some of them (let's say 20) remembered to set their email to auto-respond about their absence. And the auto-responders responded to the same recipients - including all-employees@org.edu. So, every "I don't care about your apartment" message didn't just generate 30,000 copies of itself... it also generated 30,000 * 20 = 600,000 new messages. Even the avalanche of apartment messages became drowned out by the volume of "I'll be gone 'til November" auto-replies.
That also wasn't the real problem, which, again, might have died down all by itself.
The REAL problem was that the mail servers were quite diligent. The auto-responders didn't just send one "I'm away" message: they sent an "I'm away" message in response to every incoming message... including the "I'm away" messages of the other auto-responders.
The auto-response avalanche converted the entire mail system into an Agent-Smith-like replication factory of away messages, as auto-responders incessantly informed not just every employee, but also each other, about employee status.
The email systems melted down. Everything went offline. A 30k-wide enterprise suddenly had no email, for about 24 hours.
That's not the end of the story.
The IT staff busied themselves with mucking out the mailboxes from these millions of messages and deactivating the auto-responders. They brought the email system back online, and their first order of business was to send out an email explaining the cause of the problem, etc. And they addressed the notification email to all-employees@org.edu.
IT Fail #2: Before they sent their email message, they had disabled most of the auto-responders - but they missed at least one.
More specifically: they missed at least two. sfsdfd
_Sometimes people should come with warning labels. _
Last year, Help Desk got a call from a user complaining that the laptop we issued him would not read DVDs. He was one of those "I'm a very busy and a very important man, and I don't have time to follow your troubleshooting steps over the phone. Just fix it, dammit." kinda guys, so he said he would get someone to drop off the laptop at our office and pick up a loaner.
We received the laptop a couple days later, there was a note attached saying that now it wasn't even booting into Windows anymore. Sure enough, he was right - it didn't even attempt to load Windows, and instead we were greeted by the "Non-system disk or disk error" message. It sounded and looked like the PC was trying to boot from the DVD drive instead of the HDD.
We opened the disk tray, and saw the culprit. There was a DVD in there, all right - but it was placed upside down.
We flipped the disc over.
He was trying to watch "Dumb and Dumber".
Nothing lasts forever!
[rebelmouse-image 18360967 is_animated_gif=This comes from the wonderful world of home security systems customer support. My coworker fields this one.
$CW is coworker.
$GOG is grumpy old guy.
$CW: "thank you for calling Blah Blah Blah Security, how may I help you?"
$GOG: Gives name, address, password, blood sample of first born for verification purposes. "Well my system isn't accepting codes and won't turn on or off. I think it started after the storm that came through last night."
$CW: "Did lightning strike your house or close by?"
$GOG: "yes"
$CW: "I see. Based on the age of the system, it probably took a surge. We're unable to get replacement parts anymore, so you'll need an upgrade. I can get someone in sales to call you with a price."
$GOG: "Well can't you just send someone out to fix it?"
$CW: "We certainly can, but as it's obsolete equipment it's unlikely they can repair it. You'd still be billed for the service call."
This is where the customer gets irate
$GOG: WHY WOULD YOU SELL ME AN OBSOLETE SYSTEM???
$CW: soft voice "Well Sir, it was brand new in 1986."
Software
[rebelmouse-image 18360968 is_animated_gif=I work for a small software company doing IT and customer service work supporting the users of our order-writing software.
We brought on a new company 6 months or so ago, and along with it, came a sales rep we'll call Virginia.
Virginia is 75 years old, "not good with computers", but has the best sense of humor and understanding I've ever had from a client. Every time she calls in she's always got something to say, which usually ends in a "I hope you've got your Vallium nearby!", And considers us all Wizards.
We recently updated our software, and sent an email out notifying users of this. She calls in yesterday, and we chat it up while I explain to her that yes, this was a real email, not spam, and that she should in fact update her program.
She says "Ok, I'm going to try to be a big girl and update this myself, but stay by the phone!"
A few minutes go by, and the phone rings, sure enough, it's her on the Caller ID, so I pick up without using the standard greeting, and say "Hey, Virginia!"
She responds, "Darn, how did you recognize me with my hat and fake mustache on!?"
I lost it for a bit. Having a long week full of incompetent, ignorant, or intentionally destructive users was washed away because this little old lady told the most Dad-like joke over the phone.
TL;DR - Not all old users are bad, especially if they can laugh at themselves.
So, I had to walk a client through setting up a printer over the phone. Which required her to set an IP address to the printer. Also she is not tech smart at all.
Me: "Ok, do you have a usb cable? Sometimes they come with the printer"
Her: "No, im looking in the box now. Theres no usb cable. Only the printer and power"
So it needs to me networked, great. I walk her through getting the printer on her network
Me: "Ok, do you see a place to enter 4 numbers?"
Her: "Yep, its right here"
Me: "Ok the number is 192.168.0.3"
Her: "Ok, I put in 19216803. Whats the 2nd number?"
Me: "No, lets start over. The first number is 192, second is 168, third is 0, and fourth is 3"
Her: "Ok, so 192.168.03?"
Me: "No, the third number is just 0, the fourth is 3"
Her: "So, 0.0.0.3?"
Me: "no, 192.168.0.3"
Her: "But what about the 0?"
Me: "What about it?"
Her: "Shouldn't it be a number?"
Me: "0 is a number"
Her: "Look this it to complex for me, cant we just use the cable it came with?"
Me in my head: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOU HAD A CABLE!?!??! YOU SAID YOU JUST HAD THE PRINTER AND POWER CABLE!
Me: ".....yes"
Edit: I should say, this is the shortened version. IRL this conversation went on for 30 min and this ticket lasted 2 days.
Edit2: I said "Zero", NOT "o" and I said both "period" and "dot"
No. I'm Spartacus. NO! I'M SPARTACUS!!
[rebelmouse-image 18360969 is_animated_gif=Here's a weird one that happened the other day...
Phone rings
Me: Hello this is the IT department.
Evil Clone: Uhhh, no this is the IT department, what can I help you with?
Me: No sorry there's a mistake there, this is the IT department you've called, what seems to be the trouble today?
Evil Clone: Sorry I think there's some confusion here, you've called the help desk for (REDACTED COMPANY).
Me: You're right I am confused because I work the help desk for (SAME REDACTED COMPANY). My phone rang so I answered it.
Evil Clone: My phone ran too...so I answered it.
Me: So now here we are...talking to each other...
Evil Clone: Are you working from the (REDACTED STATE) branch?
Me: No, I'm working in the (REDACTED STATE ON THE COMPLETELY OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE COUNTRY) branch.
Evil Clone: This is weird...
Me: Yeah...soooo talk to you later then?
Evil Clone: Sure, have a good shift.
Me: You too. Bye.
Seriously...who was phone? therobotjeff
Some people just need an exorcism!
[rebelmouse-image 18360970 is_animated_gif=Backstory - I do end user implementation, training, and support for a web application that was developed by my firm. Our clients skew older.
client: I can't get into my account. My login isn't working. This is ridiculous. I've been trying for hours and now I'm locked out.
me: My apologies for the inconvenience! I've just reset your password. You should receive an email with a link to set and save a new password in a moment.
c: I don't want to set a new password. I liked my old password. It's the same password I use for everything else and it's easy to remember.
me: My sincere apologies, but you will need to set a new password in order to gain access to your account.
c: Can't I just use my old password?
me: No, our data security standards do not allow that. However, if for any reason you aren't able to follow the password reset link, I would be happy to generate a random password for you, and share it with you over the phone.
c: Do that, then, and email the password to me.
me: Again, my apologies, but part of our security policy states that we cannot email passwords in plain text. I would be happy to give you a call and share you password with you over the phone.
c: Why are you being so difficult? I just want my old password to work again.
me: Sir, I'm so sorry that this process has been frustrating for you. I want you to have access to your account. Have you followed the link in the password reset email?
c: No. It looks like a virus. I don't want to click on it.
me: I can assure you that it is not a virus. It is a hyperlink. You can just click on it, and it'll open a page in your browser where you can reset your password.
c: That's ridiculous. That's so much work. Why do you make it so hard? This should be simple. I want to speak to your manager.
me: (eager to pass them off on someone else) No problem. My manager is cc'd. He would be happy to assist you.
manager: How can I help?
c: Your employee is rude, stupid, and not helpful. I just want to log in, I don't want to reset my password, I don't want to click on this virus she sent me, and this is taking forever and it is ridiculous.
manager: Sir, respectfully, we are going to need you to meet us halfway and change your password.
client: (in all caps, this is via email) THIS IS BULL. I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE MY PASSWORD. YOU ARE IDIOTS.
manager: Again, we are sorry that this is frustrating for you. Please let us know what we can do to help.
Manager cc's client's boss, the director of their org and the one whose signature is on the contract. My manager does not take shit from clients.
client's boss (to their employee with us cc'd): Are you serious? These nice people are doing everything they can to help you, and you are abusing and belittling them. This is an embarrassment to our organization. You owe them both an apology, and you need to reset your password, stop complaining, and log in so you can get me that report that was supposed to be on my desk yesterday. The fact that you've wasted your entire day on this is ridiculous and this will definitely be included in your performance review.
My manager and I were in tears. Client's boss was savage af and did not pull a single punch. The client did end up resetting his password but did not apologize. Last time I sent out an email to clients, his bounced. His ass got fired.
Print Industry
[rebelmouse-image 18360971 is_animated_gif=Ok so this little gem started yesterday, currently working in managed print industry - customer logs a call saying no devices in a building are working, so definitely server/software related.
I log in with their IT, the server is freezing and when logging in with a new account there is a disk space error. So i inform him he needs to clear it down or add some HDD space and we can then troubleshoot anything if there are issues once its done.
Call the end user who logged the call, and let her know but... it makes no sense to her, depressing conversation occurs:
Me: Morning, just calling regarding your printing issues at site X, its due to a server fault your IT are looking into - they should hopefully have it resolved soon which will likely resolve your issues.
User: Oh, well the printer still isnt working, none of them are, this is URGENT.
Me: I understand, but your IT is looking into it due to a server fault and should have it sorted as soon as possible.
User: Ok, so when are you coming out to fix it?
Me: I would not be able to fix the machine on site, it is a server issue as its run out of disk space, and your IT are looking into it.
User: This is urgent the ENTIRE site cant print, whats the ETA on the fix?
Me: I am not your IT so i am unable to advise, you would have to call them as they need to resolve it.
User: I need an ETA to inform the users and management.
Me: Im not in your IT so i cant give an ETA unfortuantely.
User: Talk to my manager.
Manager: we need an ETA for the fix or send someone on site, i want this actioned ASAP.
Me: I'm not your IT, i'm from the managed print support company, the issue is with your server and your IT are looking to fix it. An engineer from us wont be able to assist.
Manager: So you are categorically stating YOUR print engineer cant fix the printer? What kind of support is this?!
Me: The issue isn't with the printer, its with the server the print software is on, which your IT are looking to fix urgently.
Manager: No, the PRINTER is not PRINTING so its a PRINTER problem, we don't have servers.
Me: You do have servers, it's what governs the pull print and login for the devices, and it's currently down, your IT are looking to fix it.
Manager: why are you refusing to fix this? You can't just say no we have a support contract!
Me: Your IT fix your servers, we fix the printers and the software thats on the server. You need to call your IT.
Manager: Im escalating this to my director - expect a call back shortly
Click
Had several calls since then i have ignored - informed their account manager whats going on - this is now his mountain of stupid to deal with.
Tl:DR printers don't work - server has no space on C drive, IT fixing - IM NOT THE USERS IT TEAM. Ten_DU
Lesson to walk away with?
Be nice to your techies and they'll be nice to you. Or, get a therapist and some Xanax!
People Share The Biggest Red Flags They Noticed In Their Partner
A Reddit user asked: 'What's your biggest red flag in a partner?'
When going on a first date, we are often on the lookout for "red flags", the key indicators that whoever is sitting across from us couldn't possibly be the love of our life.
More often than not, these red flags, be it something they said or did, are often a firm deal breaker in finding a partner.
Sometimes, however, there might be enough to make you overlook the glaring red flag you just had waved in your face.
And much to your surprise, you might find yourself falling head over heels in love with them, in spite of their one, obvious flaw.
"What's your biggest red flag in a partner?"
The Wisest Admit When They've Made A Mistake...
"Inability to recognize or admit when they've made a mistake."- UniversityEastern542
My Way Or The Highway...
"Using ultimatums to get their way instead of compromising."- Whed1956
And That Concerns Me, Why?...
"No respect for your interests or your time."- ElNakedo·
Bored Over It GIFGiphyIt's Can Be Easy To See Clearly Through The "Gaslight"...
"Manipulation on any level."- xfalinex
"Manipulating, gaslighting, 'winning'."- umbrex
Is It Really So Difficult To Say "I'm Sorry"?...
"Inability to apologize."- theregoesthevillage
Sorry Taylor Swift GIFGiphyHonesty is ALWAYS The Best Policy...
"My biggest red flag in a partner would be their inability to communicate effectively and be honest with me."
"Trust is key."- Proper_Ad5123
What You See Is What You Get
"Wanting to change my style and look."
"First girlfriend wanted me to wear button up shirts, colored my hair brown, and even wanted me to wear brown colored contact lenses."
"Coincidentally these were all features of her cousin who she later married."
"A good partner helps you grow and become the best version of you."
"They don't try to mould you into their own vision."- AdmiralClover
"Someone who wants to change you."- helloiamnat
Alicia Silverstone Makeover GIF by filmeditorGiphyWritten In The Stars
"Blames their sh*tty behaviour on their star sign."
"Yeah, I ain't buying the 'it's because I'm a Scorpio" bullsh*t."- A_Direwolf
...Or Maybe A Scratched Cornea?
"An eyepatch. It's a sign of dangerous living, possibly pirate or rustler but certainly an outlaw."- beathelas
Temper Temper...
"Can't control their anger and/or hits and breaks stuff when angry."- LilleSmurfine
There Is Nothing More Important In Life...
"Your significant other restricting you from hanging out with your friends."- AagamAaghnya
There Is So Much More To Life...
"If their political views are their whole personality."- V1p3rzach
brooklyn nine nine politics GIFGiphyIt's fair enough to have deal breakers when it comes to finding a partner.
Always remember though, first impressions can be misleading.
And love has a way of helping you overlook the imperfections of others.
Some people absolutely love spicy foods.
Spice is also closely related to culture. Some cuisines are well-known for their spiciness, with many of them from tropical and subtropical regions of Asia, Africa, and the Americas.
Bringing the heat to the heat?
Whereas other cuisines are known for a lack of spice—many being in Europe. Denmark was declared the country which uses the least spices, although a lot of Scandinavia gave them stiff competition.
And the UK?
Why so bland?
As the saying goes, Britain invaded and colonized over half the world for spices, but decided not to use any of them.
Imported spicy dishes are extremely popular in some of these regions—tikka masala and various other curries are takeout favorites in England.
But somehow the spices they enjoy from Asian foods, African foods or foods of the Western Hemisphere were never incorporated into their own traditional recipes.
This is interesting given chilies originated in the Western Hemisphere—along with other European staples like potatoes and tomatoes—then spread around the world and into multiple cuisines within only the last 500-600 years.
Maybe those regions have more people on average who can't tolerate spicy foods? Because for some people even a speck of chilies is excruciating.
Reddit user corgiman3000 asked:
"What's the lowest spice tolerance you've seen in someone?"
Was it at least whole wheat?
"My brother-in-law complained dinner was too spicy and, upon questioning, it was because he'd seen me dredge the chicken in flour before frying it."
"Flour."
"Flour was too spicy for him."
- purplhouse
Ketchup's the limit.
"Mom can’t eat anything spicier than ketchup. I grew up on very very bland food"
- -Firestar-
"Same, discovering spice changed it all"
- SculptedSoul
"I'm certainly making up for it. Indian, Thai, whatever I can get my hands on. Anything with super flavor. And heat. Husband taught me how to eat spicy food and now I'm a heat fiend and must make up for lost time before I get too old to enjoy true spicy."
- -Firestar-
Phantom Garlic
"My dad tastes garlic in everything, even if it doesn’t have garlic in it."
"An example: I offered some of my macaroni salad to him. He takes a bite. 'I can’t eat this, it’s too garlicky.' No garlic."
- Old_Army90
"I once cooked for a couple of hundred university students who were on a get-to-know-eachother trip. We made a curry with lots of garlic and a little bit of green Thai curry. A kid would have eaten it with no trouble, but one of the students - a grown man - rushed out into the kitchen with tears in his eyes, shouting at us that we were insane."
"He was the type of person who thinks that garlic and black pepper is way to spicy to add to food.
It was a blast"
- KosmonautMikeDexter
Then why go to Nando's?
"Lemon and herb chicken at nandos was too spicy for them, they had to have plain."
- ambigulous_rainbow
"One of my friends did this. I was so dissapointed in him after that. wHat a waste of money"
- cutdownthere
"When Nando’s came out with their new 'Plain-ish' flavour that’s below Lemon and Herb, I was wondering why anyone would order that. I guess I know now…"
-TjMoore
Literal Ranch Dressing
"When I worked at Tim Hortons a guy complained that out ranch dressing was 'too spicy' and it 'burnt his tongue'"
- FunkyKong147
"I wonder if he was just allergic to something in the ranch. I’m always wary of spicy foods bc biting into something that I’m allergic to often results in it tasting spicy. So if idk it’s supposed to be spicy, I get anxious."
"I once bit into a chocolate protein bar that tasted very spicy. It was not spicy, I was simply allergic"
- InsomniacAcademic
Bell Peppers
"I’ve seen someone argue that bell peppers are spicy. Not black pepper. Bell pepper. Which are a kind of sweet pepper with zero Scoville units. They aren’t even tart or acidic."
- TerribleAttitude
"My spouse and I have a bizarre ongoing argument over this. He is always trying to tell me to be careful when I collect seeds from the bell peppers. I'm like, uh, why? Because of the capsaicin, he says. I say, there is none in here."
"We have this conversation over and over. I could literally stick my finger in my eye, that's how zero spicy bell peppers are. Also I'm deathly allergic to capsaicin so I would know as soon as I ate the dang pepper. (We didn't know I was allergic when he started this weird argument.)"
"I don't know why he continues to think there's spicy anything in sweet peppers, and why he will never ever believe me! I guess it keeps marriage...spicy."
- KiloJools
Tartar Sauce
"I CAN ANSWER THIS."
"I was married to this guy for awhile. His parents were VERY spice-adverse. I had never seen anything like it. I only actually visited their home once, because they lived in a state far away from us, and they usually visited us instead."
"My ex-MIL was always going on about how many spices I had in my collection and how unnecessary it was. When I went to their house I found out she had a spice collection of: dehydrated onions, pepper, salt, black pepper, and garlic powder. That was literally it. I didn't even see cinnamon."
"Iwent to pick up some fried fish once when we were there. Got the tartar sauce on the side."
"His mother tried the tartar sauce and then said, I sh*t you not, "Oh my, that has some kick to it".
"IT ABSOLUTELY DID NOT. IT WAS F**KING TARTAR SAUCE."
- DoomDamsel
"Hooo boy. If she thinks tartar sauce has a kick she is gonna lose her mind when she learns about mustard."
- Fimpish
Low spice tolerance shouldn't be your whole personality.
"My aunt thinks having a low spice tolerance counts as a personality trait. It's so integral that as a goof my spouse once started to describe a chicken soup they were all having at a diner as 'really peppery' and despite my aunt having already ate like half her bowl suddenly couldn't eat it anymore."
- Ralfarius
Plain avocado
"Had a kid immigrate from Poland to Colorado. We were making guacamole for a school class and he tasted it and immediately said it was too hot."
"It was only avocados at that point, we hadn't added anything else."
"He ended up LOVING spicy food, but we never stopped giving him sh*t for that.... good dude, hope he's doing well for himself."
- DETRITUS_TROLL
Even half is too much
"I bought one of those curry sauces that come in a jar for my father who 'loves a good curry'. Knowing my father, I bought the mild version and used half the sauce recommended, figuring I could pepper my own plate up."
"He tucks in, but sure enough, half way through 'It's nice but maybe we could only use half the jar next time?' I looked him in the eye and said 'I did. Do you want me to maybe just wave the jar over the pan?'"
- joalheagney
Doritos
"Probably me from a long while back. Let's put it this way.. even nacho flavored Doritos used to be hot for me."
"Not anymore at least! Not sure why I used to be so sensitive to spices.. oh well lol."
- WispyCiel
Creative Vengeance
"I grew up mostly in Asia, my mother used to take the British executives who came for meetings who were disrespectful or misogynistic to her to the local places she loved."
"As the only person who spoke Bahasa she’d order the spiciest dishes (which she loved) and watched them sweat and struggle through the meals because losing to her would have humiliated them. They often spent the next day locked in their hotel suites"
- RxDuchess
Raw Onion
"Onions, f**king onions. once went to get lunch with a manager I worked with and we went to quiznos and I ordered a sandwich and got jalapenos on it.
he was like 'whoa you can eat those?'
'...yeah you can't?'
'no, even raw onion is too spicy for me.'"
- BronchialChunk
Do you love, hate or have a mixed reaction to spicy foods?
Or is there another flavor profile you can't tolerate, like sweet or sour?
Let us know in the comments.
When we think of children's movies, we may think of harmless fun.
But that doesn't mean there isn't some seriously messed up content in those films.
Like ever notice at least one parent is almost always dead—or dies!—during every Disney animated film?
Don't even get us started on Old Yeller.
Anyway...
Redditor Inflatabledartboard4 was curious about others' childhood cinematic trauma and asked:
"What is the most f**ked up kids' movie?"
All Dogs Go to Heaven
"Our hero is released from prison, only to be MURDERED by his former boss via vehicular homicide. Then that dog eventually winds up being continuously tortured by demon dogs in Hell."
"The giant demon dog filling the town with blood red smoke at the end is some pretty terrifying imagery."
‐ Diwari
GiphyBrave Little Toaster
"Suicide and abandonment all around."
- SkuzzleJR
"The air conditioner haunted my nightmares."
- Longjumping_Fold_369
"For some reason the part when the vacuum tried to eat its cord really freaked me out as a kid."
- ThoriatedFlash
"There’s a lot of scary stuff in that movie but the flower might be the worst."
"I remember feeling like, despair for the first time as a child seeing that."
- purplefirefly6102
"The blender getting killed onscreen. I first saw Brave Little Toaster when I was around six, but I knew from the atmosphere of that scene what was really going on when you see the shadow of that wire getting cut."
"I was kind of horrified, and the the very next scene is another customer coming in asking for radio tubes and Radio is put on the chopping table but survives at the last second."
- EeSeeZee
GiphyMonster House
"The movie is literally about a man living in a house possessed by his dead wife and the house literally eats living creatures so I'd say that's what f**ked me up as a kid."
- Supa_saint
"Not just that, the dead wife was a circus freak and hated kids because they would always taunt her. So they move into this house and she dies."
"The husband who actually loves kids, now has to keep everyone away from the house or his wife will kill them."
"And then at the end the husband has to kill his wife aka the house."
"Too f**ked up for a kids' movie."
- whskid2005
Coraline
"Coraline scares me so much more as an adult than it ever did when I was a kid."
"I still love the movie and watch it several times a year, but somewhere between childhood and adulthood I got way more scared of dolls and puppets and sh*t, and I don’t actually know why."
"Like nothing happened to make them scarier."
- Writing_Nearby
"I loved Coraline as a kid. I still do!"
"And the books are actual nightmare fuel, but I highly recommend giving them a read because the lore is really interesting and the story is different."
- SimplyAurallz
GiphyPinocchio - Disney animated version
"I'm surprised I was never traumatisedby Disney's Pinocchio as a child, because watching it as an adult, there are moments that are straight up nightmare fuel."
- neohylanmay
"When the boy who is with Pinocchio turns into a donkey, he cries out for his mother. I can’t."
- MLAheading
"Ugh, watched it for the first time with my partner and two kids, during that scene all I could do is look at the two kids and wonder how they were not crying while I was on the brink of tears..."
- NurseJessisStressed
Peter Pan - Disney animated version
"The racism in Disney's animated Peter Pan is pretty f**ked up."
"Princess Tiger Lily and the song 'What Made the Red Man Red?' is just gross if you're an Indigenous kid watching it."
- LakotaGrl
GiphyThe Cat In The Hat
"The Cat in the Hat is something out of a back rooms nightmare in my opinion."
- hbombgomer12
"I literally just watched this, and I’m still questioning if I actually saw a movie, or just tripped out for 2 hours."
- LaMorak1701
The Last Unicorn
"Is The Last Unicorn even a kids movie? It's super scary."
"BTW I loved it as a kid and I still do. The whole Mommy Fortuna part was really dark, though."
- horschdhorschd
"I watched it in the last couple years. I never understood Molly Grue’s meltdown at realizing she was with a unicorn. That scene hit hard as an adult. Missing out on the things you wanted in your youth only for opportunities to come by too late. I cried."
- cats_and_vibrators
"Super scary and way more sexual than I remember from when I was a kid."
- lovemyneighbor
The Last Unicorn Skeleton GIF by MauditGiphyThe Fox And The Hound
"The Fox and the Hound. Still traumatized to this day."
- asayle88
"That move absolutely wrecked me as a child, and I refuse to watch it ever again."
- droopingcactus25
"My best friend and I wept in that movie."
- CraftyRole4567
E.T.
"E.T. The scene where Elliott watches E.T. die is all kinds of traumatizing. Never mind the Christlike resurrection afterward, the damage is still done."
- Brilliant_Tourist400
"The bit where the kids find him in the ditch looking like a piece of fine Italian deli meat.."
"Also the feds in biohazard suits crashing through the kid's house scared the f**k out of me at 7 years old"
- feeb75
"Having your home invaded is terrifying enough....seeing it through the eyes of the kids and the mother screaming 'This is my home!' Sends chills down my spine."
- LaCroixBoy89
Sci-Fi Movie GIF by MANGOTEETHGiphyWhere The Red Fern Grows
"Where the red fern grows. My grade 5 teacher made us read it then watch it. I remember thinking she was an absolute b*tch before the movie. As an adult I’m 100% sure she hated children."
- DesperateFunction179
"My 5th grade teacher made us read the book and watch the movie too. She cried during the end of both."
- BadBackNine
"I read and watched this in 5th grade also. Shudder sobbed through most of it. Added it to my list of things that made me an overly empathetic adult"
- maiden-of-might
Dumbo — Disney animated version
"Dumbo. The animal abuse, neglect, and let's not forget the 'Elephants on Parade' scene when Dumbo gets drunk. Have not been able to watch this movie as an adult."
- ArtisanalMagi
"I have a friend who made the mistake of showing it to a kid she was babysitting overnight. The moment the Baby Mine scene came up the kid was done. I think the night was unsalvageable."
- lowercase_underscore
"I was a really sheltered kid and never picked up on how awful it was. So then I have a kid and I’m like “oooo let’s watch Dumbo!” What in the actual f**k?!? I turned it off. I honestly don’t know if my kid ever watched the rest of it."
- littlescreechyowl
GIF by tomcjbrownGiphyBridge To Terabithia
"One of a few movies that have actually made me cry. I went in expecting some Narnia like thing and I was wrong. I still get mad thinking about that movie"
- KickittoHester
"My mom has still not forgiven me for asking to see it in theatre’s as a kid. We all bawled our eyes out. Same damn thing with Marley and me being shown on Christmas Eve, why did we go and why did they think that was an appropriate release to make people cry 😅"
- Troll101Catz
"I was having a terrible depression a few years ago, and decided to put on and watch a kids film to cheer me up. It couldn't have gone any worse tbf."
- BobbOShea
Watership Down
"This god forsaken movie was literally the source of ALL of my childhood nightmares. Deadass. Grandparents brought it over when I was 4. I was not ready."
"I don't blame them though, they didn't know lol"
- Flaminmallow255
"I've always been fascinated by this because I read the book quite young (I think I was seven or eight) and loved it instantly. I don't recall finding it upsetting at all, and it's remained my favourite novel into adulthood through many rereads (I've obviously come to appreciate the themes more as I've gotten older). The movie, alternatively, while pretty faithful to the book, I've always found pretty unsettling, even though I didn't watch it until I was an adult. I don't want to say it's not an appropriate story for kids, but there's just something about that movie..."
- VictoriaBells
"I saw it in the times before my memories form. Just uttering the title gives me chills."
- Sensitive_Ladder2235
GiphyWhile no one was hoping to traumatize kids with these films—we hope!—there were some really messed up moments described here.
So what's your most f*cked up kids' movie?
GiphyBack before we became self-conscious adults many of us sang our hearts out. But we weren't all singing the greatest hits of Barnie or Disney.
Probably more than a few of us belted out what we heard on the car radio, home stereo or streaming music services our parents or older siblings listened to.
Which led more than a few of us to expand our vocabulary beyond our years.
Reddit user Ok_Way_2341 asked:
"As a child, what’s a song you sang loud and proud, only to find as an adult it’s super inappropriate for a child to be singing?"
His Purple Majesty 👑
"'Gett Off' by Prince. My mother heard me sing '21 positions in a one night stand' and took the disc off me."
"It unfortunately belonged to my older sister."
"Got punished twice in one week."
"I still love that song."
- Cherrianje
Giphy"I was very very very old before I realized what 'Little Red Corvette' was about. Like mid-century old."
- Street_Roof_7915
"She had a pocket full of horses..."
- heatherbyism
"Trojan and some of them used…"
- Ferraenz
"I guess I should've closed my eyes, When you drove me to the place where your horses run free, 'Cause I felt a little ill when I saw all the pictures, Of the jockeys that were there before me."
- heatherbyism
"That line was so confusing to me as a kid."
"Toy plastic horses, maybe?"
- absentbusiness
GiphyMaybe not on that car ride.
"In the car, riding shotgun with my dad driving… 'I’ll make love to you, like you want me tooooo' - Boyz II Men."
- ADrunkenBotanist
"That’s in that weird intersection of 90s R&B that was tender and not necessarily nasty, but still definitely about sex.
"And sometimes, the songs were nasty, but if they were smooth, you could get away with it. 'Freek’n You' by Jodeci and 'Too Close' by Next come to mind."
- bearded_dragon_34
Who was it?
"'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy"
- AnimeTattooChick1836
"My classmate told me when she was younger she thought it went 'we were both butt-naked, banging on the bathroom door'."
"Seems a little strange that she didn't question the fact that they were naked, but yeah."
- No_Location854
"Oh no, I still thought it was floor."
"But for some reason my innocent little brain legit imagined just two naked people on their knees banging their fists on the actual floor."
"Ahhh simpler times."
- mikehawksux
GiphyMmmm... candy.
"The particular song that mentions 'I'll take you to the candy shop and let you lick my lollipop' left me completely unaware of its underlying meaning back then, as I blissfully enjoyed its melody."
- dimarikl
"That song is 'Candy Shop' by 50 Cent."
- Zcoombs4
We blame Austin Powers.
"'I Touch Myself' by Divinyls"
“I don’t want anybody else. When I think about you I touch myself.”
- Sorry_Rhubarb_7068
"I still remember the day my early 20’s self figured it out, that holy crap! moment."
- MyOldGurpsNameKira
"I figured it out when I was 14."
"To be fair, that’s a major hobby of pretty well all 14-year-old kids."
- dagbrown
Giphy"I forget what year that song came out, but I think I was around 15 when it did. (so about 1990, I guess?) I remember getting what it was about, but thinking I had to be wrong because it'd be 'illegal' for someone to release a song like that, so it must be about something else and I'm just too dumb to understand what it's really about."
"I had this weird idea as a kid that I was only one of the people on the planet who knew what sex was, so I assumed almost everything sexual related was an accident (as in, they didn't mean to make it sound like it's about sex) and it was actually about something else and I was too dumb to understand the true meaning."
"I actually made up a number once of people who knew what sex was and that number was 7. I thought myself + 6 other people on the entire planet knew what sex was."
"I honest to God thought this, by the way. I never stopped and wondered where all these kids came from if only 7 people knew what sex was."
- temalyen
Mini Monster
"My 11 year-old, completely innocent niece: 'let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick' [from 'Love Game' by Lady Gaga]."
"Me: 'Let's play a different song'."
- 314159265358979326
"Skyrockets in flight" wasn't about NASA?
"Apparently 'Afternoon Delight' [by Starland Vocal Band] wasn’t about getting out of school."
"I did not know that."
- HuellMissMe
Giphy"My mum told me it meant having cake in the afternoon, which made perfect sense to me because that IS delightful."
- HelpfulName
"My aunt told us 'Afternoon Delight' was about going to get ice cream. 🙃"
- Truecrimeauthor
"I thought it was about a picnic!"
- MoonLoony
"I thought it was about a picnic too!"
"In 3rd grade we were each allowed to bring in our favorite record and play it for the class."
"That’s the one I brought."
- _ThisIsOurLifeNow_
GiphyIgnorance is bliss.
"My friend's daughter used to loudly sing Katy Perry 'Peacock'."
"Literally Everyone: 'Ummm...'."
"Friend: 'It's a song about a bird, and you will not say otherwise'."
- domestic_omnom
Got milk?
"'My Humps' - Black Eyed Peas"
"Apparently they were not just talking about milk and Cocoa Puffs."
- happygolucky226
"No, that's that 'Milkshake' song [by Kelis]."
"She makes really good milkshakes, right?"
- CatOfGrey
Giphy"My cousin (4 at the time) loved singing the 'Milkshake' song."
"Then she and her sister were gently told not to sing it so they moved onto 'My Humps'!"
"I couldn’t bear hearing about lovely lady lumps, so I tried to find another song more appropriate."
"They settled on another Peas one 'Shut Up!'."
"Slightly more tolerable I guess, but there was no telling the girls to shut up because they’d just start repeating it back in song at you."
- 3rdslip
GiphyBut Uncle Luke was so subtle...
"'Me So Horny' by 2 Live Crew."
"My Dad once said 'It’s your mom’s favorite song'."
"Thanks Dad."
- Geriatric_Sloth
"When I was a kid, my little brother came into the room singing [from 'We Want Some P***y' by 2 Live Crew] 'Just nibble on my d*ck like a rat does cheese'."
"My mom in outrage said, 'what did you say!'"
"He calmly looked at her and spoke confidently, 'All I said was just nibble on my d*ck like a rat does cheese'."
"He was like 4 or 5 years old, that tape [Is What We Are by 2 Live Crew] was confiscated immediately."
- Tweedbreak
Uncle Luke of 2 Live Crew
GiphyAnd now for something completely different...
"In about 3rd or 4th grade I came home from playing at a friends house…said friend had been singing some weird song that got stuck in my head."
"So I stroll in and take my seat at the dinner table and start singing as loud as I can: 'Sit on my face and tell me that you love me! I’ll sit on your face and tell you that I love you too!!'…my parents damn near choked."
"They couldn’t stop laughing and then told me never ever to sing that again. Luckily they were huge Monty Python fans…nothing I knew about at the time."
- roygbiv_87
*WARNING: NSFW*
Ah, to be young and innocent again.
Did you learn anything new about what a song really means?
Or did you sing something as a child that didn't make the list?
Share your story in the comments.