Teachers Who've Taught A Legitimate Genius Reveal What It Was Like
[rebelmouse-image 18360916 is_animated_gif=Do you know any geniuses? Have you ever even met them, or have you just read about them and heard tell of them? Well, somebody had to have known them before they were well known. And it's crazy, but someone had to have been their teacher, too!
u/JaysonTatumIsMyDad asked:
[Serious] Teachers of Reddit: Have you ever taught a legitimate genius? What made them so smart?
Here were some of the answers.
Masterful
[rebelmouse-image 18360917 is_animated_gif=I've had some really, really bright kids in my classes over the years. Perfect ACT's, a kid on Jeopardy, Ivy League schools. But I think "M" might be the brightest I've ever had and quite possibly a genius. He took several AP tests without having taken the class and scored 5's. He didn't really self study them either. He just knew the subject. The AP Physics C teacher wasn't happy about it.
He was genuinely curious. Shows up at my door with an old smoke detector and CRT tv monitor and wants to experiment with the radioisotopes. I had to shoot that one down. Looked beyond the labs we were doing to find the more obscure uses or derivations that come from the lab, like the relationship between molar mass and specific heat capacity for some metals. And he understood it all. Every bit. Didn't pay attention in class because he was constantly looking something up. Incredibly frustrating for some of the other teachers. He wasn't too interested in homework but his English teacher commented that the one paper he did turn in was an original analysis out of this world - and she's a top notch teacher. He rarely used my methods for solving problems. He would develop his own that actually showed a deeper understanding of the relationships involved and it worked. Every time. Rarely was there a situation where I was actually teaching him. It was more me introducing something to him and then he would go off and master it. Come back to pay attention for the next new topic and then poof - off to M land to just get it.
He isn't just bright in one subject. If he wants to I'm positive he will master whatever is put in front of him. I tried talking him into graduating early because there's only so much we can offer him. He was interested but didn't get support from home. So I tried talking him into taking some CTE classes - like welding, autos, mechatronics. We'll see if he shows up next year.
As you would expect he's socially awkward and does not understand why other students don't get it. Comes off as cocky but he's not. I think he feels that everyone is this way - just smart. I really like the kid but he needs to move on
Lab Partner
[rebelmouse-image 18360918 is_animated_gif=My lab partner for college organic chemistry was a 15 year old high school freshman. He was taking it "for fun"since he had to wait for sophomore year for high school chemistry. He was the smartest student in the class, aced every test, perfect score on all homework, but was pretty clumsy in the lab. Gave me lots of laughs during our shared lunch hour. He used my cell phone every day to call his mom to pick him up at 5pm.
Thank Goodness For A Turnaround
[rebelmouse-image 18360919 is_animated_gif=I worked as a substitute teacher at a high school a long time ago, and I wound up getting the same girl in class multiple times over several years. Most notably, I subbed in for the school's AP Bio teacher for four months.
She clearly had problems at home, and maybe mental problems as well. Her clothes were always really ratty, and everything about her just screamed child neglect. She didn't seem to have any friends and she was hellishly awkward whenever you talked to her.
She was also one of those smart kids that wound up so bored with school that she just checked out completely at some point. By the time I got her in high school she never did homework and rarely did in-class assignments, and she almost never paid any attention to the lesson at all. She did just enough work to pass, barely. She just sat in the back and read or drew in her sketchbooks. Often the books she was reading were things like college textbooks or books in various foreign languages, and it was always kind of interesting to see what she was reading. She was an astonishingly fast reader. She'd burn through reading assignments in five minutes that took the rest of the class almost an hour, and she'd understand them when the rest of the class was struggling.
Initially I wrote her off as just being a slacker, until I subbed for that AP Bio class. Every test I gave out, she'd get every question right, and her essay answers were absolutely flawless and often really interesting. The first time this shocked me, because again this was a student that never did ANY work and never paid attention at all. And she blitzed through the test twice as fast as everyone else, and got a perfect score when even the best and brightest students were struggling to get Bs. When the AP tests came around, she took several including some for subjects she didn't take the class for, and as far as I know she got a 5 on all of them. I'm sure her ACT and SAT scores were equally amazing.
I don't know what made her so smart. She clearly had an amazing memory and was just... smarter than the average kid I guess. Or, smarter in some ways.
I've kept track of her on social media over the years. She never went to college and for a while it looked like she was just going to burn out completely. It was pretty sad. But eventually things turned around. She owns a company now and seems to be pretty damn successful.
Awwww
[rebelmouse-image 18347002 is_animated_gif=He built a solar powered motor for our class's robot. He wanted to be an electrical engineer when he grew up.
His parents and K teacher thought he might be on the autism spectrum because he was so strange and awkward. He didn't have any friends. He didn't really talk to anyone. Each year I usually have one or two students that I pick out as a priority. I make a goal to help that child achieve something outside of academics. That year my goal was to get this genius out of his shell and interacting with the other students. At the time I didn't know he was so smart. A lot of kids are good readers. A lot of kids know sight words and phonics. It wasn't until we started doing STEM activities that I noticed that this kid was special. He really liked an activity where we built a simple circuit with Christmas lights and batteries. After that he started reading books about electricity and engineering. I got a circuit set for him to mess around with and decided that our end of the year project would be something with solar energy. That's how the solar powered robot happened. The other kids build the robot body and he put together the solar panel and motor. It was awesome.
He was a funny little guy, but it wasn't 6 year old humor so he never spoke up. I wrote a comment in his weekly journal telling him he was funny. From that point on he opened up and crack jokes. Even if the kids didn't get it, I would laugh and they would follow suit. He became very popular with the other students. They looked up to him.
Clock Cycles
[rebelmouse-image 18360921 is_animated_gif=When I was in high school, there was a kid one grade older than me who was the smartest kid I knew at the time. Very bright, kind person, an excellent mathematician. He would regularly get perfect scores on tests and studied some advanced topics outside of class. He went on to study physics at MIT.
My high school was right next to an elementary school. One day, these parents hired this smart kid to tutor their 7-year old child in math. And when I say "tutor him in math" I mean "teach him calculus".
I would walk by a math classroom after school and see this 18-year old drawing gradients on paraboloids (so early vector calculus stuff) and lecturing a 7-year old. The older kid said once that "that kid's brain has many, many more clock cycles than mine."
When Kids Love To Learn
[rebelmouse-image 18360923 is_animated_gif=I have. The student could learn complex concepts in the span of minutes. Kid once missed an entire unit that I taught over the course of several weeks. I spent 20 minutes with her when she got back, explaining and drawing diagrams and she got it...and got it better than anyone else in the class had. It was so much fun teaching her!
Good Will Hunting
[rebelmouse-image 18345838 is_animated_gif=Yep. A medical resident. Reminded me of Good Will Hunting guy. His own history, as he'd tell it, was "I had 3 last names before I was 18. My dad was in prison for as long as I can remember and will be in prison forever. You can check my family tree as far back as you'd like: I'm the first one to ever attend college."
Scary smart. He learned Hungarian in his spare time as a trick to play on his (Hungarian) wife. When I first met him as a student I understood he spoke a lot of languages so I asked him if he could speak to a Greek patient. "I did not speak Greek". That was Monday. On Wednesday he was asking the patient simple questions in full sentences and understanding the answer. I was annoyed and asked him "hey I thought you didn't SPEAK Greek!?" Him: "I didn't. On Monday".
You could make an entire career of following him around with a notebook and writing down his many good ideas, big and small, about literally everything (which he seems to forget as soon as hey comes up with them). I do ok. I am a professor of surgery. I don't have any of this guy's pure mental horsepower.
I still know him and he's still white hot bright. But very much an easygoing dude, and still sometimes a product of a rough and tumble Early life. Years ago, I had to explain to him (back to Good Will Hunting guy idea) "you can't beat anyone be up in the hospital no matter how much they annoy you". Him, incredulous "never? But what if they do X?"
"No. Never". "But what if they do Y". "No. No beating up, ever, in the hospital." <>
Bizarro
[rebelmouse-image 18360924 is_animated_gif=I attended math classes with someone that was a literal rainman. As a junior he completed all the undergraduate and masters level math courses his elite university had to offer. They sent him to a special math program we were both in to challenge him further. He skipped 16 weeks of our very difficult advanced graduate level math courses to play video games, but aced his midterms and final exams (which included oral exams). He scored perfect on every standardized test he took including SAT, GRE, Math GRE. I never saw him put any effort whatsoever into anything he did. He also published in difficult areas of pure mathematics as an undergrad. He seemed to know everything about math and seemed as if his professors were below him. He ended up completing a PhD from an elite university in pure math. One of the smartest people I ever met. He was also very bizarre in his behavior.
Historic Genius Movement
[rebelmouse-image 18360925 is_animated_gif=Unquestionably a musician I've worked with is on the genius spectrum. Only one example being: We were playing a movement from John William's Five Sacred Trees concerto for basoon. It's actually quite modernist and not at all repetitive or "popular" sounding. Well... he left his percussion part at home and the show was starting in the next hour. Without skipping a beat, upon realizing he didn't have the auxiliary percussion part (which contains many different instruments all on one page), he pulled out his manuscript paper and wrote, from memory without consulting other parts or the score, his part perfectly. All different instruments, many time changes, measures of rest etc... Genius indeed and this is only one instance....
From Scratch
[rebelmouse-image 18351384 is_animated_gif=Kid came to Australia at 15 from Somali, never went to school in Somali . Both parents dead. He walked his two younger siblings out of Somali to Ethopia using a map he found. Then he came to Australia and entered into school. Picked up English and math so fluently he was able to graduate high school in 4 years.
He's doing computer science at uni now. If that kid had grown up in Australia he'd be on the news for being in uni at 12.
The Workroom
[rebelmouse-image 18360927 is_animated_gif=I'm a substitute teacher and I went to cover a middle school math class. There was one very shy kind of awkward kid who was working on an assignment involving square roots. Without using a calculator that kid was coming up with answers left and right. I thought I was some kind of joke or prank but for the heck of it I took out my phone's calculator and asked him to multiply different three and four digit numbers. Without batting an eyelash this kid would give me the answers almost as quickly as I could ask the question. A few occasions he had to recalculate things in his head once or twice but it was scary how quickly the answers came. I asked him what it was like and he said that it was like having a tiny room inside his head filled with white boards. You can go inside this room to work on calculations. To this day I have not met another kid like that.
Photographic Memory
[rebelmouse-image 18360929 is_animated_gif=My buddy was a genius as a kid he could read something and remember it exactly. It was unreal.
Smartest dude I ever met as far as every single subject. Went to Harvard after high school and we lost touch. He's a judge now.
His memory was so good.
The Seven Ways To See History
[rebelmouse-image 18346424 is_animated_gif=My one/ favorite history professor in college told me about a kid named Gabe. Gabe wasn't great with math, wasn't great with science, but this kid could create a complex map of history in his mind to be able to explain a situation in history from multiple historical standpoints.
An example was when he was in my professors Nazi Germany course and my professor was talking about Hitler's takeover in a general sense (quick overview of the course type stuff/my professor learning what people do and don't know to shape the course a little) and one questioned how they let Hitler be elected considering Hitler's jail sentence and mein kampf. Gabe apparently cited 4 or so different sources of German people at the time as well as examples of sympathizers in other countries after the Nazi take over to explain Hitler's zeal and demagogue capabilities.. My professor still uses the sources Gabe cited because he wasn't even read on them!
A Genius By Any Other Name
[rebelmouse-image 18360930 is_animated_gif=I taught a girl who was an absolute genius. She hated it when I or other people called her that, because she didn't think she was.
The main thing that set her apart was her ability to understand a concept as well as the significance that concept had to other areas based on me explaining something orally once. Most students wouldn't realize that class had started yet by the time she already figured out my lesson.
See, most students, after several attempts at me explaining something, will just memorize my explanation word-for-word and regurgitate that on the test because they still don't understand what on earth you're talking about. Bright students? They actually figure out what you're talking about and can explain it in their own words. But this girl? She not only understood, but then applied it to other areas. That's why she was brilliant.
Intense Topics
[rebelmouse-image 18360931 is_animated_gif=I once taught a four year old Chinese kid who really enjoyed talking about the collapse of Yugoslavia.
Nature Vs. Nurture
[rebelmouse-image 18355675 is_animated_gif=Yep, a few. One was a genius in math (not the subject i teach), and the other is a genius when it comes to writing/research/reasoning/etc.
What makes them both so smart is probably a combination of environment (they both have very supportive families), and an intense desire to learn on their own. Both of these guys did way more independent learning on their own than what they got in school, and the math kid is now in grad school working on electromechanical engineering and has been published multiple times. The philosophy kid is doing his own thing and writing books.
Information Intuition
[rebelmouse-image 18360932 is_animated_gif=I've taught for 12 years: all math Algebra 1 - AP Calculus, Robotics, Engineering Math, and Computer Science. All high school grades.
In that time, I have taught a lot of really smart kids. I have met a lot of really smart kids. I am not sure just how you are qualifying genius, but I am reading it to mean the truly exceptional student who displays intelligence in a way that outshines average "best" students.
To that extent, I would estimate that I have taught about five such individuals.
What these kids all have in common is that everything came naturally to them almost like it was intuition. Tons of smart kids will get bored and actually do poorly in class (they don't do their "easy" class work). But usually the genius kids have a thirst for knowledge. They are inquisitive and motivated to find answers.
As for what "makes them so smart", I would say that their lucky genetics plus an internal motivation to learn is what made them so smart.
I will end by saying that I think anyone can be "smart" with enough hard work. Depending on your genetics, your environment, and your determination it may take a little bit of work or a whole bunch of work.
Several Types Of Genius
[rebelmouse-image 18360933 is_animated_gif=I've taught a lot of smart kids, and while these two stories may not be the most genius kids (I mean, maybe they were, but I can't really tell), they're good stories.
One was a little boy I had when I taught first grade. At that age he figured out that the squares of numbers always end in a pattern (0, 1, 4, 9, 6, 5, 6, 9, 4, 1 and repeat). He asked me what that was called and I didn't even know it was a thing. I spent most of his first grade year trying to teach him how to not be so obvious when he thought people were wasting his time. The kid could already read and do math, but he did not yet know how to control his eye rolling. That was sincerely the most useful skill I could teach him.
The other was a girl I taught in 6th grade a couple of years ago. Her parents had homeschooled her for a while, and basically she just learned whatever she wanted to learn. That worked for my class, so she did random reports on the history of Chinese food or essays about her grandmother or whatever. Just recently she was part of a young composers workshop, and I got to see professional musicians perform her work. She's 13.
The thing is, geniuses don't always do stereotypically genius things. The boy from the first story is now attending a pretty average state university. I'm sure he will always be smart and always be great at what he does, but that super amazing genius thing is only one aspect of a person.
A High Trajectory
[rebelmouse-image 18360934 is_animated_gif=I'm a preschool teacher so I can't accurately judge a genius or not. My students range from 3-5, but I did have one student that stood out. He was a peer (not special ed/not on an IEP) and he was one of our younger students (4). We would often let kids have some supervised computer time playing on a site with lots of letter games, math games, etc for all grades. This kid taught himself how to tell time, addition, subtraction, multiplication, and started division at the end of our school year. He had little to no help with the work. If he couldn't figure something out on his own he'd ask for help once and then be perfectly fine continuing on his own. He's going on to kindergarten now and I'm so excited to see where he goes in life.
Jason
[rebelmouse-image 18360935 is_animated_gif=Okay, I'm going to shamelessly brag about this kid. For the record, I teach high school Spanish.
We'll call the kid Jason because that's nothing like his real name and I don't wanna break FERPA. Jason played basketball and soccer. He was in Art Club and Beta Club and National Honor Society. He was even the Valedictorian. Jason basically taught himself Spanish 1, and by the time he got to my Spanish 2 class, had vastly surpassed his classmates. He asked great questions and even caused me to learn quite a few things about the subject. His Spanish was f-cking impeccable. He never made even a single B in my class. When we played games, his team always won. He studied hard, he was focused, and he was so fucking affable. And he was like this in every fucking class, including the AP classes.
He went on to the best college in the state, full ride. He's done study abroad in several countries , and he's been recognized several times in the school's magazine. And not a single person has a negative thing to say about him. He's so genuine and good. He's a serious, preppy white boy that gets along with everyone: the athletes, the nerds, the goth/emo kids. He can even freestyle.
I've gotten off track with the question, but he just makes me so proud. Jason is a f-cking genius.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
Positive memories stay with us forever that we can always revisit with a smile.
Witnessing a loved one receiving their diploma after years of dedicated studying, celebrating a sports victory with other teammates, or traveling to a dream destination with your significant other after months–even years–of careful planning.
But in addition to reveling in nostalgia, there are other life experiences we'd like to soon forget but have a difficult time shaking off.
Curious to hear about some of the more ominous events experienced by strangers online, Redditor IM_Not_A_Robot_10110 asked:
"What have you witnessed that will haunt you forever?"

What happens inside hospitals are full of trauma and heartache, even medical professionals have a hard time processing what they encounter.
The Pediatric Patient
"X-ray tech here, but I was a student at the time. Called to ER for trauma code. Only know it's a pediatric patient. The terror as I walk around the corner and see it's a little boy, same size as my son. We go to take an x-ray and he's making this high pitched shrill wheezing noise. They couldn't intubate enroute so we were doing a chest/neck to see what was going on. His neck was full of air."
"Come to find out the story later, he had tripped and fallen in school and his neck went square on a desk and he had broken his trachea. Believe he was stabilized & flown out. Never found out what happened after."
– ZephyrGrace
Calling Time Of Death
"ER nurse. This won’t haunt me in a bad way, but it’ll stick with me for sure. We were coding a middle aged lady we knew was going to die. We were pulling out the last ditch stuff hoping we’d get lucky, but everyone knew which way it was going."
"Family was there and in the room. When it was clear we had run through all the Hail Marys and it was time to call it, the husband spoke up for the first time. He had apparently been an EMT for a long time so he knew what he was looking at. He said he was going to do the final round of compressions."
"It was very respectfully done. He got up to do his 2 minutes, the nurses quietly started turning things off so there wouldn’t be continuous alarms, we called for a pulse check which the husband did, then we called time of death. He was thankful we let him do that and I was thankful to be a part of it."
– pause_and_consider
Missing Jaw
"Not me, but my roommates fiancé is a flight nurse. She told me this story around Easter."
"They showed up to a scene being told beforehand that there was a patient with a gun shot wound and bleeding bad but that’s all they were told. When they got there they found a woman who was sitting on the ambulance gurney completely lucid and looking around, completely missing her lower jaw. She said you could see down her throat and she looked like a zombie. Her lower jaw was hanging to the side by some tissue and when she looked about it swung around and dangled. She said the woman seemed relatively calm and when she tried to speak what was left of her tongue kinda moved but nothing but gurgles came out."
"It was not a suicide, her boyfriend accidentally discharged his firearm while they were in his car."
"She survived."
– New_Hand_Luke
AIDS Epidemic Era
"Retired RN. I was working in the PACU and helped another nurse take her patient to his room. As I was adjusting something by his head, he grabbed my hand and started crying. He kept saying I don’t want to die. He was barely 20. In an isolation room. I looked into his eyes and tried to comfort him as he sobbed. This was in the early days of the 'AIDS epidemic.' He died within a week. To this day I still see his eyes and hear him sobbing."
– Tkay906363
Traffic accidents can be some of the most gruesome scenes no one should ever have to witness.
Accident Victim
"I live next to a busy street, inbetween lanes is a tram station. Teenager wanted to cross and got run over by a tram. Well, partly run over, he ended up with his body squeezed in between the tram and the tram station wall, with his legs stuck under the tram. It took about 1,5 hours until they had the equipment to lift the tram to get him out of there. They managed to reanimate what was left of him but he died in the hospital."
– ir_blues
Dangerous Road
"It was Easter Sunday about 5 in the afternoon. I was driving home from the lake with a friend of mine on a country highway that’s pretty well traveled. It’s one of those single lane coming and single lane going where the speed limit is 70 roads. The intersections are far and few between so instead of an overpass it’s just a blinking yellow caution light. In what literally felt like the blink of an eye the car driving in front of me is struck on the drivers side door."
"The impact pushes both cars off to the road and onto the shoulder. I hit my brakes and was able to stop to help render aid. My friend and I get out of the car and run over to help. The drivers side door is crushed inward, driver has been pushed into the passenger side. It was a younger lady, maybe mid 30s. The impact pushed her out of her seat and into her daughter."
"You ever see movies where a dead body jump scares someone and it just stares at the with wide eyes and mouth agape….. yeah. The girl is ok but very confused. She has no visible injuries and is freely looking around so we unbuckled her and pulled her out of the car so she didn’t realize her mom was laying on her. As we do it I look at the mom and I can see a little life is left in her, so I said the only thing we could say. 'She’s alright.'”
"You could see the light in her eyes fade and she passes away. More cars stop and help out. As more people are here to help I start to realize that someone has been screaming, at me. In the back seat is her son. He must have been knocked unconscious and he’s now yelling, not out in pain but asking 'Is mom okay, is she okay?' I had no words for him, he was maybe 6. His sister was about 9. Thankfully about 4 of the cars that stopped were off duty first responders so they quickly took over for me. This was about 20 years ago, I was 17 at the time and I just saw a mom die in front of her 2 kids. I’m crying now thinking back on it and to this day I still refuse to ever take that road again."
"They finally build an actual stop light a couple years back. The area isn’t more crowded so I can only imagine what the motivation to improve that intersection was."
– Boothulu
Pedestrians
"I was designated driver at my friend's 30th birthday party. Had just dropped off my last friend and I was heading home. Little blue car zipped by me going maybe 10 over. Maybe a block ahead of me I see the speeding car hit two 20 yr olds who were running across the street. They were running to McDonald's across from the nightclub they were partying at and didn't wait for a red light. I'll never forget the girls blond hair in the bright headlights as she got hit. One thing that isn't ever correct in tv shows when people get hit by cars is how much damage it does to a human body. I distinctly remember his legs laying like 2m from his body. Both died right when paramedics got there."
– SuchAGeoNerd
PTSD
"Getting hit by a car really is ugly. My girlfriend accidentally stepped on the street while we were having a minor disagreement and bam she was gone in a moment. I have ptsd, I can still see all the blood, her trying to breathe and the moment she gave up."
– More-Masterpiece-561
You never know when a friend or acquaintance is going through an extremely rough time–even though they present themselves differently in public.
All we could ever be as fellow humans is to always be compassionate.
Prolonged Guilt
"I found my roommates body in our apartment when I was in college. He had suffocated himself with a helium tank and a plastic bag over his head. That fucked me up pretty good, especially because I knew he was struggling with his mental health. He was cutting himself too, he tried to hide it but I noticed. And I didn’t say a word, i didn’t offer a helping hand. I could have done something to help him, but I didn’t. That guilt is still there, 10 years down the line."
– Jon__Snuh
What The Taxi Driver Witnessed
"I was driving Taxi once and I picked up someone who said he thinks he just saw a dead body. Said someone had jumped from the top of the parking garage. There was already an ambulance and what not on the scene. I remember briefly thinking of my friend Willzo, but dismissed it, I didn’t even think he was depressed like that. I found it odd that I would even consider such a thing out of nowhere. But I dismissed the thought and went about my work night. Couple days later I got a call from a mutual friend. 'Hey buddy, did you hear about Will? He jumped off the parking garage a few days ago.'”
– Everywhere-Danger
These Redditors' stories are a lot to take in.
However, they are good reminders about the brevity of life and how we should always strive towards being the best versions of ourselves while we're still alive.
Because you never know when you or someone close to you will have their last breath.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
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People Divulge The Most Genuine Things You Can Say To Someone Suffering From Depression
Depression sucks.
It's hard to live with and near impossible to overcome.
I know, I struggle everyday.
It's always appreciative to have people who "try" to empathize.
But often the sentiment doesn't fit the delivery.
There are ways to comfort a sad person that doesn't make it worse.
I know you're trying your best.
But let's make your best... the greatest.
RedditorHeavy-Strain32wanted to discuss the best ways to help a person suffering.
They asked:
"What's the most genuine thing you can say to a person going through depression?"
I always appreciate someone willing to cry with me. That is a big help. Just a suggestion.
Genuine
‘"It’s really difficult isn’t it.' I loved this line that my therapist said when I was sharing my struggles. There was no judgment, no advice, just felt like I was genuinely being heard."
xlOREOlx
Best Way
"This is like my favorite show of sympathy/empathy I've ever witnessed. Zuko hearing Sokka tell him about his girlfriend: "that's rough, buddy."
"Not saying sorry for your loss and putting the weight of saying 'it's ok' on the one experiencing the pain, no 'here's a relevant story of mine to show how I can relate' just..."
"'Sh*t man, the thing you went through was rough and you're justified for feeling this way.'"
Exodan
I miss that guy...
"My boss once said to me 'there's nothing wrong with what you're feeling - you're sick. And it's not something that's easy to live with. don't feel bad because you have an illness you can't fix - you wouldn't expect someone with cancer to feel bad, would you?' He then gave me a man hug and we had beers and a vent session for three hours. I miss that guy."
frothy_Wombat
Basics
“I’m grilling tonight, wanna come over?”
"Honestly, when I’ve been depressed there is a double layer of shame. Being treated as a friend just like any other made it feel like I was still part of society and community. Being treated with mittens makes you feel even more worthless and a pariah."
ThinkIGotHacked
Love
"I love you buddy. Friend of mine said it to me when I was struggling. It was instantly disarming of my bad thoughts and still resonates with me now. I find it hard to say myself though as I never really had a male role model growing up."
alidaf
All great suggestions so far. Empathy is easy...
Possibilities
"Anything that isn't a variation of 'think positive.' The illness makes it literally impossible. I liked to hear that I still meant something to the people in my life, despite me not being able to give."
raxeira-etterath
The Moments
"It's the hugs that don't even need said. At my last job I was in a dark place at the time and slipping back into depression. My blow up at work went from work issues to issues in my life and I didn't realize how far I went and my sauté guy held me. It's the most human moment I've had and it broke me in a good way. Sometimes just having a moment of that same feeling of connection, physical or not, can be what saves and/or helps that person."
Bfab94
no obligation...
"I’m not the best person to come to with these problems so when people around me do have that I always tell them the same thing, 'Want to go fishing? I’m bringing a grill and some charcoal.'"
2Agunsarearight
"We all get taken off guard, especially if you didn’t notice any changes in their behavior before. Often just a simple invite to hang out (no obligation) can be enough to remind somebody they aren’t alone and have a friend."
JakeFromFarmState1
“I understand”
"Lots of conflicting stuff here, because I’m seeing many suggest 'I understand' - but to me I hated hearing that. I always felt like 'no you don’t. You may know what it’s like to be in your own version of hell, but not mine.' For me, I think I always preferred those who said 'I want to try to understand' or just a simple 'love you' or 'want to hang out and not talk to each other at all and watch scrubs?'"
Iamdogfather
Simple
"I might not understand what you're going through, but I'm here for you and I love you."
tarkinlarson
Ways to be there. Chapter One....
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So many things always seem like a good idea at first.
That is what happens when the bandwagon begins.
First there are the select few onboard.
Then the explosion of mass appeal.
Then for awhile we're in all the rage.
Eventually you look at a certain "thing" and realize... "oh not cute."
Like a McDonald's McRib. No.
It's not BBQ, it's not pork.
No. What else can we ad to the list of not hot?
Redditor koolxxxxxxxxwanted to compare notes on what is something that is not as sexy when you really think about it.
They asked:
"What's not as attractive as people think?"
So we have to rethink a few things about what is enticing to us. For me it's exercise. You?
Edits
"Photos edited past the point of recognition."
tiny_butt_toucher
"I can't believe so many people just get rid of all their wrinkles and skin tone it's so weird. I actually really like stuff like smile lines it just shows how someone is probably quite kind. :)"
beluuuuuuga
Mouths
"Lip injections."
AnakinnTargaryen
"I swear it's like an epidemic in my country. Every single one has it or at least considers it, including myself. Many with a face beyond recognition. It doesn't help that it is not talked about enough and every single person on TV has at least 1ml of something in their mouth."
el_99
Bad Smarts
"Playing dumb to get attention. F-ing drives me nuts."
rcahelbug70
"I am a woman nearing 40. All my life I have heard men claim they like intelligent women but my experience tells me otherwise. Some men may like intelligent women sometimes but no man likes a woman smarter than them."
imdungrowinup
"I’m naturally blonde, so I have a game I like to play with anyone who is instantly condescending to me. Basically I play stupid, gradually removing IQ points by the question, until they realize I’m not stupid at all and baiting them. It pisses them off and makes my day a bit brighter."
TotallyUnnecessarry
Eye Roll
"Bragging about how many people you’ve slept with or how many people wanna sleep with you."
fcangirl
"I was on a train the other day and had to hear some guy rattle on to his friends about all the ethnicities/nationalities of women he's messed with for like 20 minutes before my stop. I could not roll my eyes any harder."
caffeinated_tea
"The way I see it is most of us are adults here and have done stuff with people previously. But that doesn't mean I'm going to go into all the nasty details of who what when where and how or even the why."
lyriumstone
Use the Moon
"The sun tan (usually fake) that makes people look like oranges."
Ezekku
I will never understand the over tanning. You look like an alien.
Popular
"Being popular on social media."
halfmeasures611
"I find it so attractive when a guy has no social media presence."
procrastinatinq
"chasing"
"Completely unoriginal, but playing hard to get. I don't like 'chasing.' If you say no, I'm accepting a f**king no."
ThatRandomDev
"Yea dude, I was chasing a girl in college and she just kept saying no to dates, going to parties, just hanging out. A few months later I started seeing another girl, turned out to be her roommate and she flipped out because she had a crush on me. I was like wtf?"
Woah_man34
Where you going?
"Revving your car engine to the max. It’s annoying."
user100372
"Especially when you are just walking down the street, paying no mind to the road (obviously to where you're going), and out of nowhere someone just drives by and revs their engine to the max."
lavliex
"It's only acceptable when you're driving through a tunnel. The acoustics in them makes revved engines sound amazing."
Electrical_Age_336
I'm Choking
"Stop marinating in cologne and perfume. It makes me instantly dislike being around you."
throwingplaydoh
"I have a food delivery driver that bathes in perfume. I do contactless delivery so she just leaves the food outside, but I always know it was her because the smell when I open the door is still crazy strong. I feel like some people don't know how strong it is."
HereOnCompanyTime
LIES!!
"Burgers from fast food restaurants. They look much better in the ads."
Substantial-Hotel16
"The true catfish."
jmcatm0m16
Not so Hot. Let's tone it down.
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We are in a cultural reset.
And it's not going as well as hoped.
It takes time to relearn.
And it takes a complete unplug and start over to accept that everything you've been told has mostly been fiction.
History has been woven by the those who needed us to see it a certain way.
That's called indoctrination.
We don't have time to get into to all of it.
We probably never will.
But let's scratch the surface.
RedditorVo_Lairwanted to compare notes about whose been handling the truth about history. And maybe why it's time to re-examine a few things.
They asked:
"What are some scary examples of 'history is written by the victors?'"
I think we're about to do a lot of learning. History has been riddled with fraud up until now.
Burn it All
"There is a bunch of Chinese history that is pretty much speculation because whenever a new King would conquer places, pretty much the first move was always to burn all the records and kill the historians to establish dominance."
SMG329
Romans won...
"Carthaginian Civilization existed for well over 600 years. They controlled large parts of North Africa, Spain, Mediterranean Islands, and had trade networks going All over the Mediterranean and even explored the African coast. They were powerful enough to bring Rome to the brink of defeat in two massive wars. Romans won, and as a result, not a single Carthaginian primary source exists."
DaemonT5544
Bad Guys
"WW1. Germany especially are always seen as the bad guys and in western films like Wonder Woman for example, that’s especially the case. But in truth the war was far, far more complex than that and so there wasn’t a clearly defined 'good vs bad' like WW2."
Pow67
"People in general view WW1 with less clear good guy-bad guy lines, but this leads to people thinking Imperial Germany was entirely clean of shitty acts."
Armored-Potato-Chip
Potato Issues
"In the UK, it is not taught that the famine in Ireland was a genocide committed by Britain. Our population still has not recovered. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sir_Charles_Trevelyan,_1st_Baronet#Role_in_the_Irish_Famine"
d3pd
"Born in England, all i was taught was that Ireland had some potato disease and all they had where potatoes so they all either starved or moved to the USA."
yfrryrjrriurirgr
Knowledge
"After the Paraguay war, there were no losers left to write history… I guess Brazil, Uruguay and Argentina was what was left."
Much_Committee_9355
"If it helps any, they don't glorify this war when they teach us about it here in Brazil. They make sure to teach how ruthless it was and all the consequences to the Paraguayan people."
_Biaa_-
I have no idea of any of these stories. I am so behind.
Crushed
"Vanderbilt, Rockefeller, Carnegie, Astor, Mellon, Morgan, Schwab, Stanford. They were called robber barons for a reason. All those schools and music halls and community centers are all built on the backs of crushed men and named after the men who crushed them."
ForsakenPercentage53
In 1899
"The Philippine-American war. Because of WWII the Americans were portrayed as heroes who had the Philippines’ best interest at heart. But few people know about the genocide during the Philippine-American war that started in 1899. Almost 200,000 civilians dead, with civilians dying to disease, famine and US troops wiping out villages."
cerulean200
1916
"The Kyrgyz genocide. In 1916 when Kyrgyz families of the north (tired of oppression) refused to join Russia’s army in WWI, Russian soldiers massacred around 30% of population of the northern tribes. Now they present it as an uprising, which happened because of German-Turkish spies."
sultana_of_jazz
'they couldn't have known'
"Anytime someone says 'Well, by the standards of the time, it was okay.' When talking about an atrocity or horrific practice. It usually means 'By the standards of the people doing the atrocity.' For example, Slaves knew the Slave trade was evil."
"But when we say 'People thought it was okay' we aren't counting the slaves as being people. The victims of history are voiceless, even if our sensibilities have evolved over time. We try to justify things by saying 'they couldn't have known' and almost always ignore a large group of people who certainly did know."
Kenobi_01
The Gauls
"Surprised to see no one mention the massacres of Caesar during the Gaulic wars. He deliberately targeted certain Gaulic tribes to make them cease to exist, which straight up is genocide. Almost every time I hear someone speak of the Gaulic wars I see them either side lining them to the civil war that followed it or it is a heroic struggle from both sides. The Gauls are trying to remain free while Rome is trying to expand and civilize. Almost every time I read about it the atrocities are omitted which I find to be really bad."
Thubbe42
Guilty!
"Pretty much any indigenous population that got in the way of any colonial power. No single country has a monopoly on the violence and oppression that was done worldwide as the colonial powers expanded. ALL were guilty of it."
crockett5
Time to do some rewrites people.
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