Being a teacher means you must learn to juggle many hats. Teachers are secondary parents, counselors, buddies, mentors... the list is endless. And as much as the job of a teacher is fulfilling, it is also stressful and tear jerking. Sometimes being the bearer of that news in unavoidable. And there is no easy way to say it.
So be kind to teachers, they have pain too.Redditor u/CTE2028 was hoping the educators reading would be willing to share some stories by asking.... Teachers Of Reddit have you ever had to explain a students death if so what did you tell them?
3rd periodMonsters Inc Hug GIF Giphy
A kid in one of my high school classes died in his sleep over Spring Break. Some sort of random heart failure.
They didn't make an announcement but word traveled pretty quickly because he was a prominent member of the cross-country team. Anyway, 3rd period rolled around and his best friend walked in smiling and laughing with someone. When the bell rang, she asked someone near her where her friend was. We all heard and realized she didn't know yet. My poor 25-year old, fresh-out-of-college history teacher had to pull her aside to tell her that her best friend was dead. She ran out of the room crying and he looked sick to his stomach. Then he had to teach our class.
The Worst Day
I was a long term sub for a middle school band teacher out on pregnancy leave. Two weeks in, the Principal let me know first thing in the morning that the teacher I was subbing for had lost her child and I should let each class know. The students were close to the teacher and they should know he said. This was 25 years ago, so no internet. I was fresh out of college and I suggested that perhaps he should do it or maybe even a counselor.
He let me know that everyone was too busy and if I had a problem I could quit. I was only a sub after all. So for the next six bells, I let each class know that sometimes life doesn't go as you hope and that parents can lose a child before they are even born. It did not get easier as the day went on.
It is still the worst day of education in my entire career.
Caleb & Alexa
A couple years ago one of our Pre-K students had a little sister die from a congenital heart defect. We live in a small area and all the kids knew her because we had had a bunch of fundraisers and the student talked about his sister often. When she died we felt very unprepared to talk to the kids about why Caleb wouldn't be at school and what had happened to his sister. My co-teacher bought a book to read them (can't remember the title now). We were all crying when we talked to the kids, but trying to stay calm. We explained how it was okay to be sad, that Caleb would be sad when he came back to school.
We told them it was ok to ask about Alexa but Caleb may not want to talk much about her and that was ok. I remember specifically my co teacher saying "I know we all prayed for Alexa. And God did give her a new heart, but she had to go to heaven to get it." One of the absolute hardest days in my life. The kids were very sweet and understood way more than we thought they would.
At the school my mom works at, a 3rd grader died from a glioblastoma. She was really well known in the area; her parents did an amazing job bringing awareness about this particular form of cancer, and they did a lot of fundraisers for her treatment/travel expenses. My mom works with kindergarteners, and her students didn't really know how to react regarding the death. My mom and the other teacher (my mom is a paraprofessional) decided to mention it, and if anybody wanted to talk about they would (and they did).
Don't Asksad a christmas story GIF Giphy
My mom died when I was in the 5th grade.
I knew the teachers told everyone before I came back to school because they all treated me like I was going to explode. When a friend finally asked me a question about my mom, another student said that the teacher told them not to say anything to me about it. It left me feeling like I couldn't share my grief or my memories of my mom with my school friends.
Not a teacher, but we had a student in one of my smaller university classes pass away unexpectedly one day. The teacher came into class looking clearly upset and simply told us what had happened. We all just sat there and took a few minutes to soak the news in. I'm pretty sure we wrote some condolences to their family at one point. No one could really believe it. They were really outgoing and had a good rapport with everyone, so the whole dynamic of the class felt a little off after that. It felt so strange seeing that one desk remain empty for the rest of the semester.
Teachers need more love in this world.....
Not a teacher but had a fellow student die in middle school on Mother's Day. It was very hard for my teacher to explain, because it was an accident, she was hit by a car while at the beach with her mom. I remember the teacher crying and giving us all time to process, but I think she did the best she could do in that situation. I can't imagine how teachers deal with this sort of thing. Teachers need more love in this world.
After the Bliss....
I didn't have to explain it, but I did have a student die.
It was a week after "remote learning" had ended for the school year this June. It was basically ungraded remote learning, meaning only a small percentage of students actually logged in. I can't say I would have done much work when I was in middle school and knew it was ungraded. This particular student never did any of the online work.
I got a call literally on my wedding day from my principal. The ceremony was over, and I was having a meal with my parents and new husband. The principal explained to me that the student had passed away in a car crash the day before. Apparently, someone took a video of the aftermath, and some of the kid's severed body parts were visible. My principal told me to watch out for any students grieving or mentions of the video (never heard anything). It was an odd conversation, as after talking about a student who had died, my principal then congratulated me on getting married.
JasmineSadness Reaction GIF by MOODMAN Giphy
I had a girl die in my Spanish class in HS that I was somewhat friends with. Very sad... went missing one day and was found about 3 days later in the back of a burned vehicle.
It was awful because we had a clock with 12 hours each hour representing a partner to practice with. Jasmine was on my clock. Every day someone didn't have a partner on that clock because one of us was murdered... and this was in a small town where that evil doesn't happen. First person I ever somewhat knew that passed, all because a boyfriend and a different girl got in some stupid dispute and then decided to kill her...
Our teacher didn't exactly handle it well though to answer the question. It was a very difficult time for the whole school.
Could've done better....Tea Smh GIF by moodman Giphy
Same. Watched my girlfriend's little sister die in a car accident with her family. Threw up for days after. So sad. Got a "you shouldn't have missed class" from my professor for missing class that day, when he knew what had happened, and an "I don't care what happened". He apologized for being hard on me for that a few weeks later, but still...
Also someone I sat next to in high school died in a car accident the night before class. A high school counselor came in and said one of our classmates had died. Didn't say who. My good friend was out that day in that class, as well as about 5 others. Didn't know who it was until the bell rang and finally found someone that knew and everything went on as normal. Handled so poorly.
Oh my god. I actually left teaching for a year to do administrative work at the end of the year when this happened. We had a particularly beloved junior in high school who was murdered by a family member. The event was so shocking it was all over the news about as fast as the school learned about the event. It happened on a Tuesday night, we learned about it Wednesday night via email, and there was a school announcement the next day over loudspeaker.
When students asked what happened, one student pulled out his phone and showed a news article around to several students in the class. The class was so horrified, they asked if we could pause the day, and then there was forty minutes of sniffling and crying and I think that was the worst classroom experience I've ever had.
Several students who didn't even know the guy who died couldn't stop themselves from crying because of recent deaths in their own family.
To top it all off, it was during spirit week and many student had shown up in costume, and they slowly started to take off distracting pieces, and asked around for jackets or something to cover up their attention grabbing outfits. I would wish that experience on no one.
I had twin brothers. Both missed school for a while. One returned with a note from his aunt. She wrote that their parents didn't write the note because they were in their country of origin because of the brother's death.
I interpreted that as the uncle (the parents' brother). Instead, the family had visited their home country, and one of the brothers died.
The surviving twin came back to school, but the parents were mourning and taking care of the dead twin's funeral.
When I eventually figured out my mistake, I notified the counselor. A week later, because the school moves slowly, one of the wellness counselors came to my room to announce the dead twin's death to the class. I hope to never have to do that again.
She was young....Sad Pauly D GIF by A Double Shot At Love With DJ Pauly D and Vinny Giphy
Not a teacher. In Grade 1 a girl died at our school. I remember our teachers being very sad.
She was always sick and very tiny. On her last birthday she brought lots of nice stuff for us cake, junk food and we had so much fun. I remember these meringue thingies with different colors. Apparently she died of HIV. It was the late 90's. I don't remember what we were told exactly just that she wouldn't see her again.
Not a teacher but I've had several situations like this.
Elementary school teacher was killed in a car accident on her way to school. She was my older sister's teacher. Small school in southern Oklahoma, so they brought each grade to the auditorium one at a time to give us the news. Counselors were available. Handled very well by an otherwise fairly crappy school.
In high school, my senior year. First period, the principal comes in, which is exceedingly rare, and tells us a classmate had passed away. He and I were practically inseparable in middle school, but had grown apart in high school. Barely saw each other or spoke. He had dropped by my house a few days before and I basically told him I was too busy to talk to him and sent him on his way. I carry a lot of guilt over that. Never found out 100% what happened, as the rumor mill started immediately, but I believe it was suicide. Tearing up just thinking about it. Janusz, I'm sorry man.
I have taught for 18 years and fingers crossed, have never lost a "current" student (I teach music so I get my kids for 8 years). I have, however, lost two former students. One to a motorcycle accident, and my favorite student I have ever had killed himself two days after my youngest child was born.
He was only 21. I still think about him all the time, and it has been 9 years. Smart, creative, funny. Not a chance I wouldn't have been absolutely broken if I had to explain it to other kids. I am so sorry for you teachers who have had to.
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A girl killed herself my sophomore year and they just sent a mass email to the teachers so they could tell us.
I was in math at the time and my teacher just told us what happened then said we shouldn't let it get in the way of our lesson and kept teaching. Messed up thing is she was in his seminar which in our school was where a group of students is assigned to a teacher freshmen year through senior year and he just could not have cared less.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
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Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
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Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
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