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Teachers Who've Had To Tell Their Class A Student Passed Away Share Their Experiences

Teachers Who've Had To Tell Their Class A Student Passed Away Share Their Experiences
Image by Johana Peña from Pixabay

*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.

When a sudden tragedy strikes a school, an uncanny tone sweeps across the community.


The whispers of half-informed students fly down hallways and across cafeterias. Each is heard with a balance of eager interest and mournful respect.

Teachers act strangely. They hold secrets and quietly argue about how to deliver the tragic news. The chain of command is strained under the unique circumstances.

When a student dies, all decorum subsides.

Perhaps wondering what that environment feels like, Redditor ThatOneLazySushi asked:

"Teachers who had to tell their class a student passed away, what was it like?"

Many teachers talked about the times a student or students chose to take their own lives.

The moral of the story? There is simply no way to deliver that news without an injection of trauma.

So Young

"My step-dad is a private school principal who also taught 7-8th graders. Total class size was 21 or so. Over the weekend one of the 13yo died of apparent suicide. I have never seen him so pale and empty looking when he got home that day."

"You could tell he had been crying along with the students. In his 30 years he had never dealt with anything like that and he shut down for a good while. He never saw a counselor but set it up for the students. I wish he would."

-- DangerDuckling

A Faceless Note

"On the 2nd day that I was in my own doing student teaching, the school went into lockdown. As this was just over a year after 911, the class, a senior Government class, surmised that it had something to do with that. There has been 2 suicides of dropped-out students in the prior 2 weeks, but that did not come up."

"Then a note was slipped under the door stating that a senior, the girlfriend to one of the prior suicides, had killed herself that morning. The option was given to announce it or have someone come down from the office to do it."

"I guess they could see my concern, and the color draining from my face while reading it, as I was asked, 'Mr. D——, what's going on?' I told them, and it was heartbreaking. There was a lot of anger and a lot of tears. It has been nearly 20 years and it still haunts me."

"In hindsight, it was, to quote the Johnny Cash song A Boy Named Sue, a Get Tough Or Die moment. I've lost 5 current/former students since then, but none were as dark as the first one."

-- mattd1972

Probably the Best Response

"I used to teach English in China as an expat. The college I worked at had three suicides in a year, one of the students was in my department. Although I didn't teach the student directly, the tone of the students and my colleagues were extremely gloom."

"Although tragic, the topic of mental health had been on the forefront of school business after the third incident and a therapy office for students has been established in the administration building. I was very proud of my school for taking mental health seriously, and had a discussion with my students about the issue. I kept my office open for any students wanting to talk."

"AFAIK no other suicide/attempt was made for the remainder of my time there (~1 year afterward). Flowers were set up at the location."

-- Saxophones-InMyA****

Cumulative Tragedy

"Worst day of my career. A student of mine shot himself the night before. The SRO told me that morning. The principal made an announcement over the intercom for all of my students to come to my room and instructed me to tell everyone about his passing while all the admin and district and school counselors watched."

"His best friend just got out of a mental hospital for cutting himself. He was sitting right next to me when I spoke to the class. I instructed one of the counselors to not let the best friend out of their sight for any reason. 30 minutes later, the counselor informs me the best friend has gone missing."

"I search the school and find him, razor in hand, and a bloody mess. I take the razor and hold him with one arm while calling his dad with the other. It was a long and terrible day."

-- BandDirector17

Other teachers recalled times that a student suffered at the hands of community violence. These stories took place in areas where, unfortunately, despite the sadness it wasn't completely shocking.

A Constellation of Factors

"A student of ours was shot and killed. It happened just as quarantine had started so no students to tell. Just the teachers and staff."

"I had talked to the student no more than a week before everything shut down. We had threatened to call CPS on the mother because she had several children not going to school at all. We also suspected she was under the influence of drugs. He came in because of this threat and had told us his twin had been shot during a party and died. Most likely gang related for both of the shootings."

"It's difficult because these were 16-year-olds that should have had a better shot at life but the system failed them every step of the way."

-- Xurroz

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Last to Hear

"Used to teach in inner-city Chicago. Never had a student die, but several of them got shot. The kids knew well before I did."

"I actually had one student missing for three days; I mentioned it out loud that it was odd they weren't in class for three days in a row, and one of my kids said, 'Oh, Joe got shot seven times. You didn't know?' "

"Pretty harrowing stuff. It's tough to sleep those days off, especially considering how casual the kids would be about it."

-- sushiladyb*/ner

Feels So Random

"A classmate from first period in my Jr. year of high school. The teacher just walked in to class and explained that this chick was shot in a drive by at the park."

"I just remember being super uncomfortable and not knowing what to do. The chick that sat behind her in class just lost it. Just shocked looked on her face, and she just started bawling. I'm sure she went home after that."

"I took flowers to the place ware she died. I didn't know her that well at all really. But I thought to myself 'even if you may not feel it, it's always good to pay your respects.' So I did."

-- DudeIMaBear

Senseless

"My wife works in a high needs area that is plagued with gang violence. A few years back 4 students were found brutally murdered in the woods (MS13 hit). 2 of them were her students It was highly publicized and everyone knew before the next school day (I believed it happened over a long weekend or a school break)."

"For her breaking news wasn't hard but dealing with the fallout was heartbreaking. Sadness, fear and anxiety not just because of the murders but because of the extreme attention it received (it was highly politicized on the state and national level). Many students are afraid of the gangs but they are also afraid of the police and other authorities. The student body is incredibly vulnerable."

-- Hogwarts_Earth2

Finally, some people discussed the sudden medical tragedies that took place. Without any backstory, context, or logic to share, delivering this news felt sickening.

Just, Gone

"I was a student in a 2nd grade class where this happened. One of my classmate's older brothers had collapsed in the cafeteria. We all saw it. Our teacher had to come in and tell us the little information she knew and I distinctly remember her crying and having to leave the room."

"Days later when the brother was taken off life support they brought in child psychologists to tell us about brain death and life support machines and the hard decision his parents had to make. As an adult I really appreciate the care the school took to make sure everything was explained in a child appropriate manner."

"There was no gossip or whispering because they told us everything that happened. Our teachers even brought us to the funeral, explaining that although it would be sad it was important to show our classmate our support. A horrible situation that was handled as well as it could be given how young we were."

-- gingersnap9210

Just Being Kids

"(Student) In middle school I had a friend and his brother die from an electrocution accident from a downed power line after a storm. It was 2 brothers one in 6th grade and one in 5th."

"Everyone was acting weird that day and no one really knew why. Kids were crying and walking out of class, it kind of threw off our whole school day. I remember one of our teacher telling us what happened and got really emotional."

"Apparently a kid who went to our school witnessed what happened too and she basically said don't ask him questions about the situation. It hit her close to home for some reason I don't know why, she couldn't even speak without crying. I knew my old classmate a little bit and we shared a class. He was a really nice kid. RIP to him & his brother."

-- oboa41

A Horrifying Fluke

"My son was in the 3rd or 4th grade and one day he came home and said 'P didn't come to school today, her brother died.' It turned out the older brother and mom were playing around at home and she tapped him on the head with the heel of her shoe."

"He laid down to take a nap and died due to a clot or something like that. I can't even imagine."

-- MsPinkieB

A Confused Response

"I was the student here, and in 6th grade the teacher and principal both told our class that our classmate had passed. He had bullied me daily. When I heard the news, 11 year old me felt relief, and I never really thought about him again."

"Now, as a more empathetic adult, I feel absolutely horrible that I had that reaction to his death. I don't think as a kid, even in middle school, I truly understood what death was. I would take getting bullied every day over him dying."

"To tie this into the question - I don't envy educators that have to deliver this news at all. Some kids are losing their best friend or classmate, and some kids may not fully comprehend what happened."

-- mjh1723

Close to Home

"Im a student not a teacher, but the teachers son died from a car accident and he was one of my friends"

"The teacher came in crying and told us there would be a meeting in the auditorium to honor his son, I ended up going home and crying the rest of the day because one of my best friends died"

-- SilentAccountant

A Very Sad Start to the Day

"When I was in high school two of my classmates died, one in tenth grade from Reye's Syndrome, the other in eleventh grade from leukemia. In both instances the entire school was notified during the morning announcements over the PA."

-- yourtemporaryBFF

Someone To Talk To

"I teach elementary school and a student in an colleague's class (same grade) had a student pass away mid year. The student was sick. I forget what exactly he had, but it was well known he wouldn't live long, and he was frequently out of class due to illness or dr appointments."

"The day after his passing, a grief counselor was brought in and helped explain to the class what death was in a very age appropriate way. I had a couple of students in my class who were friends with the deceased student. I sent them to the grief counselor, and they said it helped a lot."

-- desert_red_head

Unfortunately, when a teacher takes the job they rarely imagine these days as part of the job description. But things like this do happen, and it's so important that kids have teachers when they do.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

People Break Down Which Things Make Them Instantly Judge A Stranger In Public

Reddit user FawnTi asked: 'What can a stranger do in public that will immediately make you judge them?'

It's never beneficial to anyone to jump to judgment.

Especially if it's based on one simple action.

It's entirely likely that you might have caught that individual on a bad day, having a bad moment, or just experiencing a rare lapse of judgment.

Leading them to behave in a way that is not at all indicative of who they really are.

Even so, we still often find ourselves passing judgment on people, including total strangers.

Making assumptions, for better or worse, on the sort of person they are based on their public behavior.

Redditor FawnTi was curious to hear the things people witness which instantly results in their making judgments on total strangers, leading them to ask:
"What can a stranger do in public that will immediately make you judge them?"

If They Leave A Mess In Public, What Must Their Home Be Like?

"Throw trash on the ground."- crumpana

"A guy was walking in for an interview with my boss and just yeeted trash between the parked cars."

"We're a small company so we clean ourselves."

"After he left i let her know and that was that."

"How lazy."

"That would only translate to work."- seapancaketouchr

"Drop litter."

"Not pick up their dog's sh*t."- Kyadagum_Dulgadee

"Those people who throw bagged-up dog sh*t into shrubbery are the ultimate evolution of this."- LibertyPrimeIsRight

Sometimes We Use Our Better Judgement

"An act of kindness - especially one that doesn’t benefit that person."

"OP didn’t say it had to be negative."- Rettorica

news mic GIFGiphy

Shared Speace

"Saw a person unloading their groceries just push their cart into the next parking space and drive off."

"The next parking space was occupied by someone who was there, about to back out, who now had to deal with the cart behind them."

"All the judgment."- Arafell9162

No Reason Indoor Voices Can't Also Be Used Outdoors

"Scream at their partner."- FazeFrostbyte

"Screaming at someone whos just doing their job honestly."- notah0ee

The Epitome Of Selfless

"If they pick up litter I think they're a good person."- Quiverjones

"I pick up litter but I'm always convinced people think I'm weird for it, so thank you for this."- PootleBrain

Giphy

Good Manners Need To Be Taught

"Watch a video on full blast, without headphones where it is very clearly inappropriate."

"Or scream at their kids, in front of a bunch of strangers."

"I think it’s absolutely humiliating for a child and it is very telling of how they are to the child all the time."- melancholia__

Just Plain Gross.

"Not washing their hands after using the bathroom."- Nateddog21

"When I was at the dentist's office and I heard a toilet flush in a solitary bathroom, and my DENTIST walked out immediately after, I quit seeing them."- zulimi317

Especially After The Last Three Years...

"Mouth open no cover sneeze."- averagejill

"I loathe those people."- eyekunt

"During peak Covid, my coworker and I witnessed someone pull their mask down, sneeze, and then put the mask back on."

"At a pharmacy."- IDreamofLoki

Baby Eww GIF by America's Funniest Home VideosGiphy

We All Have Them, But Do We All Use Them Correctly?

"Their cellphone etiquette."

"Bad or good, I will watch and judge accordingly."- BulkyHurry

"For me it's being on your phone while driving.'

"Instant rage."

"Full disclosure: was t-boned by one of those a**holes."- okwellactually

Um...

"Defecate in the middle of the street."- Prussian_Empire_23

"Saw someone do that in San Francisco once."

"I was riding the bus and looked out the window and he was just dropping one on the sidewalk with his a** towards the street."

"Then on the next stop a homeless man started cussing out the bus driver because he wouldn't let him ride the bus for free."- Dry-Breakfast-2742

Who's Really The One Who Goes Viral?

"Take out their phone to film while someone is in a bad situation, instead of trying to help / call for help."- Pioumi

Picture Recording GIF by BLoafXGiphy

Or In General...

"Being cruel to their pets."- OlyaBrnk

"Or wildlife."- kittytoes21

"Or saying something like 'it’s just a pet'.”

"B*tch this little dog is family and I would die to protect her."- Synner40

There Are Limits To "Making Yourself At Home."

"Be loud, Be rude to wait staff, let their kids run amok."- Emergency_Flounder58

"Rudeness to wait staff says a lot."- zta1978

Not Everyone Needs To Be Included...

"Speaker phone call."- Nolan

"I’ve been noticing kids these days having FaceTime calls, but not looking at the screen!"

"What the f*ck is the point of that?"

"I think I’m officially old AND cranky."- Drewbox

Frustrated Customer Service GIF by Ryn DeanGiphy

One's public behavior isn't always indicative of what they're like in private.

Even so, we've all been taught the basic dos and don'ts of how to behave in public.

Making it hard not to judge those who seem to willfully ignore them.

People working at a desk by the window.
Photo by Ant Rozetsky on Unsplash

Nothing will get you in more hot water with your boss than coming up with a lame excuse as to why you didn't show up for work.

Especially if that excuse doesn't even turn out to be true.

Of course, life can be unpredictable, and sometimes what you're telling your boss might very well be nothing but the truth.

You just might need some evidence to back it up.

However, there are some excuses that might be one hundred percent foolproof for getting out of work without any resistance from your boss or colleagues.

No matter who you are, or who you work for.

Keep reading...Show less

Bobby Darin had a life full of triumphs and mysteries. From his humble beginnings and bone-shaking family secrets to his meteoric rise as a singer and actor, it was one wild—and tragically short—ride.

1. He Was A Weak Child

Bobby Darin was born Walden Robert Cassotto on May 14, 1936—but his innocence left him far too soon. When he was just eight years old, doctors diagnosed Darin was diagnosed with multiple bouts rheumatic fever, which seriously damaged his heart. The medics painted a grim picture, predicting a short life expectancy for the young boy. It had other consequences, too.

2. His Family Spoiled Him

Because of Darin's precarious health, his family absolutely doted on the boy. They called him "the King" amongst each other, and pampered him within an inch of his life. This was a very bad idea. Before long, Darin grew self-absorbed and selfish.

His own sister admitted, "I’m not saying that he should not have been protected…I’m saying we should have also made him into a human being, and we didn’t do it". But the dye was already in the wool.

3. He Was An Academic Genius Too

With the sense that the grim reaper was always at his door, along with his family's unfailing adoration of him, Darin soon developed a burning ambition to make something of himself. He was a very clever student, outperforming most of his peers...but this had a downside. The other students ruthlessly teased him—and had a shocking effect on him.

4. His Behavior Was Not Charming

During his teen years, Darin developed a somewhat disturbing persona. At that time, he didn’t realize that he was becoming very arrogant, but as time passed, he came to terms with his problem. He said that his bright peers used to tease him and make him feel insecure. That’s why he gravitated towards a career that made him feel better—drama school.

Still, he had one more thing to do before starting out.

5. He Changed His Name

Fitxer:Bobby Darin 1959.JPG - Viquipèdia, l'enciclopèdia lliureca.m.wikipedia.org

Bobby Darin was well-prepared for drama school and his lifelong dream of being a musician. There was only one minor issue—his name. The way Darin picked his last name was very random. When he saw a malfunctioning sign at a Chinese restaurant saying “Darin Duck” instead of “Mandarin Duck," he felt inspired—I guess.

Some people claim that he picked it out of a telephone book and that the restaurant story was a lie. Indeed, there is no proof for either story. Either way, he was ready to kickstart a career.

6. His Breakthrough Was Amazing

Unfortunately, life didn’t quite go as Darin planned—at least for a while. One recording after the other, he failed and failed. Still, he was resilient and curious—and in 1958, he recorded a song titled “Splish Splash” hoping to have his big break. Finally, he made it—the song sold more than a million copies in the blink of an eye. In fact, it was only the beginning.

7. He Met Someone

From teenagers bopping to the infectious beat to parents smiling at the boyish charm emanating from their radios, Darin's breakthrough had arrived. He wanted to keep pace, so he began collaborating with other newcomers to get inspired and hopefully sell more hits. Life gave him what he wanted, but it also steered him into the company of someone special.

Her name was Connie Francis, a then up-and-coming singer—and she was going to rock Darin's world.

8. He Found His Partner

Francis and Darin were meant to write songs together and try to shine in this dog-eat-dog world. At that time, both of them were famous, but not superstars. Together, though, they had a supernova effect. They started spending every minute together, and as you can guess, their artistic match quickly turned into a romantic flame.

9. He Wooed Her Good

Although it wasn’t love at first sight for Darin, Francis noted that Darin was the love of her life. She didn’t care about anything when it came to Darin. In fact, she once found Darin in bed with two sketchy women, but that scandalous encounter didn't make her bat a single eyelash. Still, their bizarre relationship was about to get even weirder.

One day, after one of Francis’ performances, Darin came up with a wild idea.

10. He Wanted To Elope

File:Connie Francis.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

Bobby Darin—who had a very prince-like upbringing—was used to getting what he wanted, and he wanted to marry Connie Francis. After her show ended, he said that they should elope and get married. Why? Because he knew there was no way Francis’ controlling father would agree to this.

The only person he needed to convince was Francis, but he forgot one important detail.

11. His Future Father-In-Law Hated Him

Francis’ father despised Darin and he did everything in his power to end this relationship, yet this wasn’t the main problem. The problem was that Francis was a daddy’s girl—and when one day, Francis’ father physically threatened Darin and chased him out of a building, Francis knew that it was either her father or Darin. She called it quits and hurt Darin deeply.

He was sad—but soon realized that he had bigger fish to fry.

12. He Had Extravagant Dreams

Darin wanted to be larger than life. He spent countless hours in the recording studio, obsessing over every note and lyric, striving for a flawless performance. His attention to detail was legendary because he wanted to be legendary. As he put it, “I want to be a legend by the time I'm 25”.

Nevertheless, he knew that he had to expand his horizons if he wanted to be one of the greats.

13. He Had Trouble Memorizing A Song

In 1956, Darin seemed to expand his horizons and made his TV debut. It was a memorable moment for him because it represented the fast-paced environment of TV for him. He scored an appearance on The Dorsey Brothers’ Stage Show and the team expected him to perform “Rock Island Line”.

Darin didn’t know the lyrics and he basically had no time to learn them, so he had to write them on his palms and tried to catch a glimpse of them while performing. This marked the beginning of his multifaceted career—and made him even more arrogant.

14. He Lost A Friend

Darin had a reputation for being a little bit snobby, and it was about to cost him a dear friend. He felt, acted, and lived like a legend, yet some of his old friends didn’t like his attitude. One of them was another legendary musician Sammy Davis Jr who had been friends with Darin for a while.

Fed up with his attitude, Davis told Darin, “Let me know when you stop being a legend so we can be friends again,” and walked out of his life. But not everyone felt as strongly as Davis.

15. He Had A Mentor

File:George Burns 1961.JPG - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

Even though some of Darin’s friends shared the same feelings as Davis, others felt very differently. For example, George Burns—who gave Darin his first chance to perform—knew that, beyond his sometimes disturbing bravado, Bobby Darin had a heart of gold. At first, Darin considered Burns as his mentor, but it turned into a more intimate relationship fast.

16. He Had A Father/Son Rapport With Him

Since Darin lost many friends due to his “hard to get along with” personality, he began spending more time with Burns. As time passed by, Burns began thinking of Darin as more of a son. Due to their strong friendship, when Burns' life took a dark and painful turn, Darin was the first one to lend a helping hand.

17. He Took Care Of His Friend

In 1964, Burns lost someone very close to his heart—his wife—and he was significantly depressed. That was when Darin stepped in. Burns said that “When Gracie died, Bobby slept in my bedroom with me for three or four nights”. Not only did Darin take care of Burns, but he also spoke with him and gave him some friendly advice. The advice he gave to Burns changed his life.

18. He Saved Him

Darin noticed that Burns would sometimes cry all night and not sleep at all. The worried musician had to leave at some point, but he wanted Burns to get better before he did. He then suggested Burns sleep in Gracie’s bed so that he’d feel better. This advice changed Burns’ life because he finally started getting some shut-eye, and moreover, learned to move on.

Darin was a miracle worker when it came to solving other people’s issues—even though his own problems were downright alarming.

19. He Began Acting

Multi-talented entertainer Darin was not content with confining himself to a single facet of the entertainment industry. After his TV debut, he then ventured into acting, eager to showcase his talent on the big screen—and he was good at it.

He scored a huge project called Come September—a movie where he shared the lead with the iconic Sandra Dee, an innocent girl-next-door type of actress who became a household name before Darin. Little did he know, he was in for the ride of his life.

20. His Co-Star Was Lovely

File:Sandra Dee 1959.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

When Darin began filming and met his co-star, he was charmed by Dee. According to their son’s recollection, “He was standing on the shore wearing a yellow suit, and she was in a boat just pulling in to dock,” and then he shouted, “Will you marry me?” to which she replied, “Not today”.

According to Darin, it was a mutual attraction, but Dee told a very different story.

21. His Co-Star Didn’t Reciprocate

According to Dee, Darin was nowhere near charming. In fact, she thought he was very arrogant. As Dee put it, "I didn’t want anything to do with him”. She was also very clear with her “I’m not interested” attitude, but Darin was not willing to give up. After all, he'd gotten everything he ever wanted in his life up until this point. So he pressed harder.

22. He Had Finesse, Sort Of

Darin orchestrated numerous gestures and silly jokes to charm his way into Dee’s life. Some of them were very silly, such as chanting “Sandra Dee has a flea," while others were pretty clever. He wooed Dee’s mother and turned her into his wingman, asking her to convince Dee to go on a date with him. It was a good plan, and surprisingly, it worked.

23. He Fell In Love With Her

Darin finally scored a date with Dee—the hard part was over. He planned a carriage ride with her, and their first date was a total game-changer. It was clear that Darin was falling in love with her dangerously fast, but the shocking part was that Dee began to have feelings too.

At the end of the date, Darin’s honesty and sincerity won Dee’s heart.

24. He Got The Girl

In no time, the two became lovebirds, flirting and laughing all over the set. By December 1960, the two wanted to get married. Dee later recalled what happened, saying “I do remember my thoughts that first morning when I woke up in bed with my husband, I thought I had never felt so safe in my life as I felt with Bobby”.

But sadly, this heady honeymoon phase was the only silver lining of their doomed marriage.

25. He Had A Real Son

File:Bobby Darin Betsy Hale Wagon Train 1964.JPG - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

It was time for Darin to play the role of a real dad in life instead of a pretend one in a story. On December 16, 1961, his beautiful bride gave him an amazing son named Dodd Mitchell Darin. They were a family of three, but sadly, little Dodd just missed the happy family train. He had two very problematic parents.

26. Marriage Wasn’t What He Expected

In the Dee and Darin household, the good times were officially over—yet, Darin didn’t even realize it. He was still living the party life and expecting his wife to join in too. Their son later recalled that Darin expected Dee to be ready and steady for every occasion and every party with “the boys” whether it was at a show or at a casino.

Understandably, this frustrated Dee to no end.

27. His Wife Was Unhappy

Dee began complaining because Darin began treating her as a trophy wife rather than a partner and a friend. She was sick of sitting through shows and then waiting for Darin to come home after he went partying with “the guys”. She recalled, “I had no life, and we had no life together”.

Dee began feeling claustrophobic, so she picked up a filthy habit.

28. They Were Deteriorating

Darin and Dee's messy marriage had stupefying consequences. They were not only harming their lives as a married couple but their professionalism as well. How? Well, they did everything in their power to mess with each other—and once every while, they crossed the line—because in Dee’s words, they were “bored”.

29. They Acted Childish

While Darin emotionally manipulated Dee and often reduced her to tears, Dee eased her pain with a bottle every night. Wanting to retaliate, she would often find silly ways to criticize Darin’s looks.

Dee would demoralize Darin and tell him his toupee was crooked before he appeared on shows to “stir things up”. Darin, once he was done making Dee cry, tapped into his paranoid side and made everything even worse.

30. He Had Conspiracy Theories About His Wife

File:Sandra Dee & Bobby Darin, Photoplay March 1961.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.org

Darin often obsessed over Dee’s relationships with her coworkers. Since they had fallen in love on set, what was to stop her from having an affair with another one of her co-stars? Therefore, when Dee began the production of her new movie Tammy and the Doctor, Darin began acting overly suspicious every time Dee spent some time with her co-star Peter Fonda.

31. He Wanted Out

In 1963, Darin could no longer shake off the feeling that his wife was having an affair. He acted up and told her he wanted a divorce, telling Dee the nonsensical reason behind this decision. Dee was both furious and disappointed. She repeatedly denied the claims, eventually convincing Darin to rethink his accusations.

Sadly, this didn’t magically solve their problems.

32. He Was Still Jealous

After almost breaking up with his wife, Darin felt like he needed to make an effort, and so did Dee. He committed all his time to being a good father and an easy-going husband, but there was one big issue: his jealousy. He was unreasonable and paranoid.

On one occasion, he lost his mind over the fact that Dee talked to Warren Beatty at a party. He was silent about it—but behind closed doors, it was a different story.

33. He Made A Decision

Darin didn’t know what to do or how to fix his jealousy problem, so he took the easy way out. Still, he wasn’t bold enough to face Dee, so he went behind her back. In a jaw-dropping act, he had his psychiatrist tell Dee that he wanted out. In the blink of an eye, they separated for good...and then began the hardest year of his life: 1968.

34. He Made A New Friend

1968 started off as a very busy year for Darin—he became more politically active and worked on Robert F Kennedy’s presidential campaign. Beyond the working relationship, Kennedy and Darin developed a very close friendship. Darin considered Kennedy his hero, and one of the main reasons he got more involved in politics.

Soon after, Kennedy became the main reason for his grief.

35. He Suffered A Loss

File:Robert F. Kennedy 1964.jpeg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

Darin felt strongly about Kennedy—but he almost witnessed his demise. He was traveling with Kennedy and he even made it to the politician's final destination—California. Darin stayed at the Ambassador Hotel and was one of the last people who ever saw him before a horrendous assassination ripped Kennedy out of his life.

36. He Didn't Leave His Side

Darin threw himself into recording new types of music while trying to shake off the trauma of losing Bobby Kennedy. He was so shaken by Kennedy’s death that, reportedly, when the coffin was above ground, awaiting burial, Darin stayed with Kennedy’s body all night.

But this wasn't the only event that turned Darin's life upside down.

37. His Heart Couldn't Take It

Even though he worked tirelessly to live with it, Darin’s heart was very fragile—and he'd had a frail constitution since childhood. As time passed, his heart got weaker and weaker—but his divorce was the last nail in the coffin. By the 1970s, Darin's health was not doing well. He felt alone and miserable, so he went crawling back to Dee.

38. His Ex-Wife Still Loved Him

In the 1970s, his ex-wife saw him getting sicker by the day—and despite their turbulent past, she couldn’t leave him alone like that. According to Dee, “He would come to the door with his vitamins and say, 'I have nowhere to go'". She knew she had a soft spot for Darin, so every time she would let him in and as she put it, “things would start again”.

However, it wasn't long before Darin began knocking on someone else’s door.

39. There Was Another Woman

In 1970, Darin found love for the second time—this time, she went by the name of Andrea Yeager. Unlike Dee, she wasn’t a world-class actress, but a humble secretary. Even Darin’s friends said that “You couldn't have a more stand-up person around you. She didn’t want anything from Bobby,” and Darin fell head over heels in love with her.

40. He Underwent Surgery

File:Bobby Darin Abby Dalton Hennessey 1959.JPG - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

After a year filled with medicine and dire side effects, Darin's doctors finally told him that his heart needed surgery. In January 1971, he underwent an artificial valve implant—a painful surgery with a long recovery period. When he opened his eyes, he began the next chapter of his life: trying to heal his broken heart.

41. Love Healed Him

According to one of Darin’s friends, Yeager was “willing to confront the grim reality of his illness and help him in any way she could” and it was working. Darin began performing again, and Yeager was there whenever he felt bad. Reportedly, Darin was often administered oxygen during or after he performed, but he kept performing, and Yeager kept helping him.

Yeager's devotion was undeniable and it influenced Darin to give love another shot.

42. She Became His Wife

After three years of living together, Darin and Yeager decided to turn it up a notch. In the summer of 1973, the two made their wedding vows and became husband and wife—they were already committed to each other in sickness and in health. However, Darin’s sickness tested their limits.

If Darin thought he'd found his "happily ever after," he was so wrong.

43. They Fell Apart

Only four months later, Darin’s worsening health worsened his relationship. He was living in desperation and the woman he once loved had reached the end of her rope. In October 1973, the fairytale romance came to an end and they divorced.

Only 37 years old, Darin was a divorced man for the second time—but fate had another horrible twist in store for him.

44. His Last Visit Was Unexpected

The same year, Darin made a mistake that led to serious consequences. When he had a dental appointment in 1973, he failed to take his antibiotics—which protected his heart. This caused an overwhelming systemic infection and weakened his heart to very dangerous levels. Due to sepsis, he ended up in the hospital.

Sadly, this was the beginning of the end.

45. He Never Woke Up

File:Bobby Darin 1972.JPG - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

On December 11, 1973, Darin scheduled another hazardous heart surgery at the Cedars of Lebanon Hospital in Los Angeles. A surgical team worked for six hours straight to repair his heart for the second time. Sadly, this second operation time wasn’t as successful as the one he'd had in 1971. Bobby Darin never woke up. Only 37 years old, the musician passed away in the recovery room.

46. They Made A Movie About Him

Darin’s early death shook some people, while his action-filled life inspired others to share his story. Director Barry Levinson was in the latter group. In 1997, he began working on a film that intended to tell Darin's crazy life story—but like most of Darin’s dreams, it remained unfinished. However, someone else had their eye on the singer's legacy.

Kevin Spacey took over the project along with the help of Darin’s son, Dodd. The result? A biopic called Beyond theSea.

47. His Legacy Was Gone

It seemed like tragedy followed Darin wherever he went, even after his death. In 2008, The New York Times reported that in the Universal Studios fire, Darin’s work—among hundreds of other artists—was destroyed. Based on what we know of him, it was probably best that Darin was not alive to witness this tragedy.

48. They Made A Musical Too

Dodd Darin got involved in a musical project to commemorate his father. The musical—called Dream Lover: The Bobby Darin Musical—aimed to delve deeper into Darin’s problematic relationship with his mother and grandmother. However, Dodd had something heartbreaking to say about the casting of David Campbell in the lead role.

49. His Son Knew He Was The Right Fit

Dodd noted that “You have to have lived something like that to understand it and [Campbell] has, and I think he can relate to my dad, he can relate to the pain”. Campbell must have been a perfect fit to play Darin because the musical received very positive reviews.

After it premiered in 2016, the production got best musical and best male lead nominations. More importantly, it gave Darin and his human side the recognition he deserved.

50. He Learned His Family's Secret

File:Bobby Darin Petula Clark 1967.JPG - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

The same year Darin lost Kennedy, he learned something jaw-dropping about his own past. He discovered his family's wildest secret. See, his mother Nina was just 17 years old when she had him, and to cover up her teen pregnancy she passed him off as her younger brother. Instead, Darin grew up believing his grandmother was his mother.

Nina finally confessed this, sending Darin into a tailspin. However, there was another question on the tip of his tongue.

baby smiling and lying forward
Photo by Jason Sung on Unsplash

Chances are you've heard phrases like "our little miracle" or "bundle of joy" or something in a similar vein.

Those phrases are usually used to refer to babies.

When someone really wants a baby, and has the financial means, emotional support, and maturity to raise said baby, then they should definitely have one. Bringing a life into this world, or taking care of a life that has no one else to care for them, is wonderful.

However, wanting (and being able to support and take care of) a baby is the only good reason to have one.

Not because you think it's what you're supposed to do, or you want to make your parents happy by giving them a grandchild, or because you think it'll keep your marriage together, or any number of other reasons people will give you.

Chances are you've probably also heard the saying "Every child deserves parents, but not all parents deserve children."

That can be very true if you have a child for any other reason than truly wanting one.

Redditors know this all too well and are ready to share what they think are the absolute worst reasons to have a baby.

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