Teachers Share The Worst Assignments Students Have Turned In Unironically
Teachers don't get the proper respect they most likely deserve, compared to, say, lawyer or a doctor. Educating the future of our world can be difficult, the pay isn't great, and let's face it, kids aren't necessarily our best citizens. Yet they strive on. Many do their absolute best with minuscule resources, and fortunately, most are willing to rat their kids out when they mess up big time.
Reddit user, Trev0r_P, wanted to hear what's the worst of the worst when they asked:
Teachers/professors of Reddit: Whats the worst thing you have ever had a student unironically turn in?
How Did They Put The Berets On?
GiphyMy favorite was a research paper about black panthers - literal, four-legged black panthers - for a paper about The Color of Water, a book that touches on family, education, and race, including the Black Panther political group. Apparently the student did not read the book or pay much attention to the classroom discussions.
I also especially like it when they copy and paste from different websites without changing the fonts.
This Looks Strangely Famili-HEY WAIT A MINUTE
Student literally plagiarized about two pages of a book I had written, as if I wouldn't notice...
LaDebacleWhen You Catch Them In The Act
An essay completed by his mom (who had done his written work for years, according to other teachers)...
It the parent-teacher interview I told her I believe the essay was likely plagiarized as it did not match the level of work that her son completed in class, however, the essay itself was so poorly written that there was no point in pursuing a lower grade than he had already received...
Her husband gave her an all-knowing side-eye grimace and she turned bright red...
Kid went on to fail my exam with a 4%.... It takes a lot of f-cking work to get a 4% on an exam...
That's What They Call Karma
During student presentations once, I had to stop class to pull aside one of the students for mocking a dyslexic classmate for his spelling errors. Then, my random-name-picker selected Rude Student next. He plugs his computer into the projector and starts presenting, and the rest of the class immediately starts snickering. Rude Student hadn't done the assignment at all-- he had copied another student's file off of the lab computers and hoped I wouldn't notice.
He had copied his dyslexic classmate's file, spelling errors and all.
He got a 0 and a discipline referral.
Forgot To Edit It Out
I had a kid turn in a Wikipedia article as a research paper. He wrote the intro and conclusion, but the rest of it still had footnote numbers and, somehow, a slightly shaded background.
English =/= Technology
I taught technical drawing. One of the kids was getting suspended for a week. He asked me for work he could take home. Since he couldn't do work using the software at home, because he didn't have a computer, I gave him a stack of worksheets pertaining to the AutoCAD software and told him to take a book off the shelf. The guy came back later after his suspension was over and turned in some of the craziest worksheets I'd ever seen. I told him , not one of these answers is right. The kid got all upset. He said, they all came straight out of the book.
Then he showed me the book. It was Norton's anthology of English literature.
...There's Just So Much Wrong Here
I was grading anatomy papers once and a male college student mislabeled the vagina as a penis. I had someone else call the pectoralis major muscle that goes over the chest area the "titimus major". That same kid also called the quadriceps the quadricicle.
I had one male student mislabel appendix as the "clitoris". So many good jokes came from this one.
Also I should point out that all of these were on accurate anatomical models, so these were especially bad mistakes.
At Least They Do Science? Right?
GiphyThis is on me and I know it.
I teach 6th grade and had taught about citing sources but not about reliability. Had a student turn in a science paper whose entire source list was Phineas and Ferb episodes.
Well, were the episodes properly sourced?
Take This Advice: Anything Is Better Than A Zero
I'll always remember the time students had the assignment to write something creative - we'd covered poems, short stories, stuff like that. Even a diary or journal entry would have worked, it was a real softball of a homework assignment.
A couple kids clearly phoned it in and that's annoying, but one kid decided to plagiarize Bob Marley lyrics as an original poem.
Dude, you could have written two paragraphs about how you liked that song, and we're all good. Now I have to drag you out in the hall because plagiarizing is a Big Deal and can get him in trouble with administration that's over my head.
Just felt bad all around, and I was a new teacher at the time and had never had to deal with it before.
Seriously people, just half ass your homework or take the zero, if you don't want to do it. Don't cheat. Once you cheat, stuff is out of my hands, and there's no way it's worth it on a dumb one off assignment.
Wait, So You're Telling Me Finland Isn't France?
A student handed in an assignment for French class that he had used google translate for. Except he made a mistake when selecting the language to translate from English. The assignment he handed in was in Finnish.
CW: Suicide.
When it comes to cell phone wallpaper, it can be a very personal choice.
Sometimes, your wallpaper is silly, like a funny picture of your and your friends. Other times, it's simple, like a monochromatic background.
Sometimes, it's the way you show your love for a particular fandom. As a huge Potterhead, it's no surprise that my wallpaper is a still image of the floating candles in the Great Hall from the first Harry Potter movie.
Sometimes, your phone's wallpaper is unique, and there's a story behind it. Those stories are what Redditors shared.
It all started when Redditor SPriGJade asked:
"What's the story behind your phone's wallpaper?"
The Name’s Logan
"Wolverine. Otherwise, a topless man as wallpaper is trashy."
– Deleted User
It Was Like That When I Got It
"They made the phone with a wallpaper. I bought the phone with a wallpaper. End of story."
"My phone is not personalized at all. Aside from 2 or 3 apps this thing is stock. No music, no ring tones, no wall paper etc."
– pay-this-fool
"You’re a NPC aren’t you?"
– Milfshake23
"Hello, Mr. Thompson"
"It’s the scene where Homer becomes Mr. Thompson. The moment where he says “I think he’s talking to you”"
– downwitbrown
The Same Name
"Mine was a fan art I saw on Instagram of Blossom and Brik. I happened to have a crush on someone who has the same name as him so I put it as my wallpaper. I cannot put his actual pic there cause I have nosey friends who will dice me if they knew."
– SPriGJade
Camp Wheezeaway
"It's a picture I took at sunset at asthma camp while I was in respiratory school. We hiked out to a dam to watch the sun set and everyone was silhouettes. I think it's beautiful."
– Faye_dunwoody
"Camp counselor: “Cmon little Timmy you gotta finish the mile run in order to pass!”"
"Little Timmy:”W H E E Z E”"
– Siriuswot111
Exposure Therapy
"Either I just wanted to get over my arachnophobia or just to discourage myself from looking at my screen too much. I don't remember lol."
– WingieWingies
Real Wallpaper
"I was renovating my home and i really liked the wall paper id bought and i still had some paste left over... Its a bit of a job to see my screen though /s"
– arianleellewellyn
If Found, Please Return To...
"it is black with green text with my contact info in case my phone gets lost... simple and practical"
– 1101base2
"I hope you made sure to put your phone number on that contact info so they can call you if you lose it..."
– johnnyboy10010
Nerd Culture
"I just like Pokémon"
– yuri_nomoru122
"I just like Star Wars
– Thrashed0066
And We Fell In Love
"Me & my wife's wallpaper (for the last 5 years) is an illustration I altered of two otters holding hands, but made to look very devil-like, with horns, pointed tails, and colored red. The story is, when my wife and I were dating early on, we liked that otters hold hands when they sleep, and we would joke, saying "Thank you Satan" for being responsible for our meeting on a dating app. So... it was a combo of both of those things."
– 1313trouble
Skin And...Oh, Wait, Just Bones
"My little girl had to get an X-ray of her hand/wrist… apparently you can tell if kids are aging/growing right by their wrist??? I took a pic of her skeleton hand… haven’t changed it since!"
– mic1383
Bird's Eye View
"NASA spent $250 million so I could have a tiny blue dot as my wallpaper."
– JustDunIt42
Finish The Task
"I was trying to find a new wallpaper, said screw it, and took a picture of the table."
– juse73x
Embodiment Of My Mood
"Played a game where the character is plagued by the embodiment of death during their quest, and as they finally finish their quest the Death catches them."
"My background is the main character facing the embodiment of death, still fighting. I put it up years ago when I first started feeling suicidal. I knew that it might kill me in the end, but I wanted to fight it as long as I could. I've been having a good couple of years lately, and I feel that I have won. But I still have it as my background."
– OkBottle8719
Crazy Idea
"My wallpaper is Eminem’s a**. i don’t know how to explain that. I just thought it would be silly."
– lethalload
Interesting...
"I asked an AI to show me the end of the world by the sea and it created this terrifyingly beautiful picture ."
– LovelyBones17
I might have to try something similar next time I want to change my wallpaper!
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Rules. Rules. Rules.
I get that we have to have rules and order.
Without all rules, we have anarchy and chaos.
But it feels like some schools just go overboard.
I mean, a principal is the head administrator, not a warden.
Especially when there are so many do's and donts that make absolutely so sense.
Redditor DekuSkrub18 wanted to hear about all of the rules that left people dumbfounded when we were students, so they asked:
"What were the dumbest rules put in place at your school?"
I can't recall a ton of silly rules at my school.
That was back in the 1800s though. Things have changed.
Stand Up
No Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphy"Students weren't allowed to sit on the floor in the hallways because it promoted sex."
Arius_de_Galdri
Oh!
"Something would happen: like a dropped tray or a book loudly hitting a table, and the whole cafeteria would yell Oh! The administrators hated it and would try and get us to stop. One week it happened a couple of times in a day."
"The assistant principal stood on a chair and loudly declared that if it happened again, they were going to turn off the vending machines. Of course, everyone yelled Oh! immediately. He angrily walked over and ripped the cords for the vending machines out of the wall… only to be met with a chorus of more Ohs!. It was hilarious but also incredibly stupid."
andronicus_14
Rewards
"At my primary school at the end of the year, there was a beach day for all students who had no detentions. Fine, I guess a reward for good behavior."
"But when you also have a policy of putting anyone who fights in detention regardless of who started the fight it becomes a bit unfair. You get picked on by a bully and you both get detention."
Mythical_Atlacatl
Funneled
"One-way system. You had to go around the entire school to go to your class that was directly next to your previous class. Also, the one-way system funneled all the students into one corridor, when if they could just go the fastest route they could avoid getting in each other's way. They used to say that the school was built in the 70s for much fewer students so the hallways were too small to let students walk where they want."
"So their solution was to funnel all the students down a single hallway. It didn't make sense to me."
Affiliations
"Our school tried banning 'gang affiliated' clothing. I can tell you right now the closest thing we got to 'gangs' in my school was one kid who listened to too much 50 Cent and Eminem, and another who actually grew up in Detroit but was about as clean-cut as they come."
"But oh no, my camo-patterned fall jacket? That I got at OLD NAVY? I must be in a gang. That lasted all of a month until about 1/3 of the school had been sent home for 'dress code' violations multiple times. It was utterly arbitrary and nobody cared except for a handful of the administration."
subtxtcan
Cheers
Cinco De Mayo Drinking GIF by WDRGiphy"The song 'Tequila' was banned because parents said it promoted underage drinking."
LordBaranof
But it's such a great song!
Hairy Situations
Long Hair GIF by Hollie KitchensGiphy"In our school, girls weren't allowed to wear their hair down. If any girl forgot to tie her hair, she was reprimanded. This really irritated the teachers."
Goddess_Gwendolyn
That's Exiled!
"It was always dumb when they would outlaw whatever the new cool harmless fad was. I remember when they outlawed snap bracelets, wacky cards and garbage pail kids, magic cards, etc. I think tomagatchies too."
wpascarelli
"We had both Pokémon cards and marbles outlawed because of people doing unfair trades. It was a bit of a thrill playing a secret game of marbles at the far end of the oval on lunch break once they were banned."
Special_Objective245
"It would disrupt the class. I was in school when Tamagotchis, yo-yos, Pokemon cards, and Yugioh cards were all a thing. I remember how it could be distracting or how kids would get into fights over them."
ibn1989
Skip Away
"If you are X minutes late, you must do the detention during your lunch break for the same amount of time."
"For example, if you came 5 mins late, you have to spend 5 mins doing detention during your lunch break."
"There was no detention if we don't show up to class. Basically, if you're late to class it's better to skip the class."
Goatmanthealien
Terrible
"No jeans."
skarlettohara
"My secondary school (U.K.) had a no jeans policy, our uniform was back trousers white shirt. I wore black jeans to school for the last 4 years. Would get pulled up about it from time to time. I’d just say 'Ah yep, won’t happen again' then continue wearing black jeans. Our school was utterly terrible."
minigmgoit
Water Sounds
noise GIFGiphy"We couldn't have metal water bottles because they might make loud noises if they fell."
Automatic_You4321
Color Lines
"That you couldn't dye your hair at all, even if you chose a natural color. They were so rigid that we kept our hair the color we started school off with that when one particular girl came back after the Summer holidays with brunette hair and revealed that the brunette hair was in fact her natural color, they made her bleach her hair back to blonde!"
Creative_Recover
Who thought any of these idea were valid?
Focus on more education please.
Anyone who doesn't have children yet will be told by someone how magical and beautiful being a parent is. Some will even argue that a person's life has not begun until they have kids.
But as some parents will point out, life as a parent is not made up of all unicorns and rainbows, and it certainly doesn't always smell like roses.
Redditor Roxane-Rose asked:
"What is the worst part of being a parent?"
The Constant Worry
"The worry that something horrible will happen to them. Sickness, kidnapping, getting lost, etc."
- MelbaToast604
"Which never, ever goes away. Ever."
- marvelous_much
"Honestly, that's all I ever think about. I have four kids (8, 7, 5, and 1.5), and all I want is for them to become good people."
"I let my fianceé know all the time, our kids will be adults longer than they are children, so we gotta make sure we establish manners, morals, and empathy. We also gotta make sure they have fun."
"I love those little monsters, even tho they're a headache sometimes."
- bafeom
Overrun with Illness
"Being sick as an adult f**king sucks. Being sick and having a sick kid, takes it to a whole new level of suck."
- axron12
"Kids have an incredible ability to get really sick during the most inconvenient times."
- jgiffin
"Four years ago before Christmas, my wife got sick and it turned into pneumonia. She was in the hospital for three days."
"Very scary. I guess. I wouldn't know, I had the flu combined with a stomach bug and both of our boys had strep throat. They were 13 and 8 at the time. They took their meds well as I had alarms set. But I was down and out."
"Day two, I went to a clinic that said stomach bug. On day three, my father (I'm 35 at the time) came and took me to the ER and my sister took my kids."
"It was a nightmare. I couldn't visit my wife in the hospital. My kids called my dad cause I was laid out on the floor. Just a f**king nigtmare. Being sick when your kids are sick makes you feel like the most useless parent in the world."
- normaldeadpool
Inconvenient Injuries
"Kids getting injured at the most inconvenient times. My wife and I had the flu this winter and my three-year-old decided she was going to help us feel better at 3:30 AM by making us tea."
"She got out of bed, went to the kitchen, and dropped a glass teapot on the floor, lacerating her feet."
"So I got to have the flu at the hospital while my daughter got stitches."
- pavorus
Staying Safe
"Always having to be extra careful so that you don't cause them to experience the consequences of losing a parent too soon."
"Sometimes I just want to be dumb and impulsive, and having to always be responsible puts a damper on that some days."
- AJSawASquirrel
"I stopped all of my hobbies because of worrying about my kids well being. I used to ride motorcycles and dirt bikes. I used to play in an adult hockey league. I used to love going to see a concert or sporting event and having a few and taking public transport back."
"Not anymore. And not again until they are fully… like 100% capable of living without my support. I’m 42 and my four sons range from 10 to 19. It’s gonna be another 20 years before I get on a bike again."
"I love them, but it sucks."
- Jcholley81
School Safety
"The worry of picking a preschool that has 'enough' security and safety measures in place has wrecked me."
"We toured the school my toddler will go to this fall and the first thing I asked about is security: locked doors, escorting the kids individually into/out of the building, etc."
"It makes me sick to the stomach that I have to worry about that."
- vk2786
Constant Meal Planning
"Figuring out three meals, 8,000 snacks, 1,000 activities, and settling for the fact they won’t like, want, or do any of them."
- BurThe___Down
"The meals and snacks exhaust me. Constantly having to bring snacks everywhere when they are toddlers, and now that they are almost teenagers they are hungry all of the time. It never stops. I'm always at the grocery or planning meals or cooking meals. It's insanity!"
- Feetyoumeet
"I love to cook, but trying to keep a family fed is exhausting. Once I became a mom, I really started to understand why some people hate cooking."
- KatieCashew
Minimal Me-Time
"No or little free time."
- MissingCalifornia-
"I'm an introvert, I really need my me time to recharge."
"And I have a five-month-old baby that needs me at every moment of the day. I can sometimes get away with leaving him alone during the last hour of his afternoon nap (with the baby monitor on, as he's started rolling and it frightens me), but that's it."
"He needs his mama at all times and throws a fit for anyone else. He won't even really eat or sleep when his grandma takes care of him. I foresee his first month of nursery school being very unpleasant."
- ClancyHabbard
"I find myself staying up a lot later than I used to just because of the fact that I've always enjoyed solitude, and these days, I have very little. So once everyone falls asleep I often lose track of time as, 'Just a few minutes,' to myself turns into two hours before I know it."
- Pristine_Interview86
A Child's Persistence
"Relentlessness. Kids don’t stop, they don’t go away, they always need to be fed, and cleaned, and entertained. They are always there, for 21 years+, they are always there. Every single day, every single hour. Kids are always there."
- Rkozlow
"'Raising children is like getting pecked to death by ducks.' I don't know who first said it, but they knew parenting."
"When the kids were young, my wife and I used to quietly say, 'quackquackquack,' to each other when the relentlessness got a little too stressful."
- PaulsRedditUsername
"I call my child 'The Terminator.'"
- Greatbrandino11
"'That kid is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. it doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop… EVER, until you are dead!' - Kyle as a parent, probably."
- PaulClarkLoadletter
What Is Sleep, Again?
"Lack of sleep impacts your ability to do everything else so that’s going as number one."
" Number two, for me, is that sometimes, when they’re having a full-on breakdown because they don’t want to get in the bath they have literally every day on the one day you actually have to be somewhere, I look at them and really miss only taking care of me."
"I still love them, do not regret them, and would never ever tell them, but they make things so much harder than it needs to be because they do not give a crap about any priorities other than their own."
"When that happens I do some deep breathing and remind myself that they’re just little kids, of course, they don’t care about making other people wait."
- LastLadyResting
"The sleep deprivation."
"I'm serious, it wrecked me. I was already suffering from postpartum depression, and I was both breastfeeding and dealing with an unhelpful partner. I didn't sleep much until the baby was about a year old."
"Cognitively and emotionally, it destroyed me. I made stupid mistakes at work and as a parent. I didn't trust or like myself, or the baby."
"That's the number one reason he's an only child. I can't handle the lack of sleep."
"He's an amazing, creative, hilarious 15-year-old now; I love him and I love being the mom of a teenager. For one thing, he sleeps through the night."
- insertcaffeine
An Intro to Death and Grief
"Right now, for me... explaining the concept of death to my three-and-a-half-year-old."
"My MIL (Mother-in-Law) is having their senior dog put down this week, and we have to explain, gently, that kiddo is going to go to Grandma's this week and the dog who has been there her whole life will be gone, and Grandma is going to be sad."
"Also the constant worry and anxiety. That s**t eats you alive."
"(But then you look at them and snuggle them and realize you BUILT A PERSON and my god is amazing. It's a love you will never be able to explain.)"
- vk2786
Excess Funds
"Not me, but my best friend told me the thing he hates the most about being a parent is just not having any money for him to spend on his wife."
"Before they had kids, he would surprise her with little gifts every now and again and it would make her so happy. Now he's starting to feel bad now that he can't do that anymore."
- Author_Story_Teller
Disciplining Them
"The guilt when you have to stand up to your kids and discipline them. It's never fun to see them sad."
- AlwaysNipping
The Imperfections
"The worst part of being a parent is realizing that you're never going to be perfect for them. You're only human yourself. You're weak, you're tired, you're fallible, just like them."
"And as such, you'll do/not-do something and you'll blow it out of proportion and crucify yourself, and you forget that you're just still human too."
"And in that moment, in that lapse in judgment, you'll regret yelling at them, you'll wish you played with them a little bit better, you'll regret getting frustrated and impatient, and you'll regret criticizing them. You'll miss them, wherever they are, whoever old they are."
"The worst part of being a parent is that you can't save them from yourself. It's all in the game of life, and every second of it takes effort and thoughtful energy."
"Some days will be better than others. This too, shall pass."
- Rpark888
Trying to Relate to Them
"As a father, when they were too young and I couldn't connect with them."
"When they are sick, need to undergo an operation... even a blood sample or a vaccine, it really breaks my heart to watch that."
"When you think you are doing that parenting thing right, but somehow your kid does the opposite as you expected."
"When your partner and yourself are not on the same page in terms of parenting and it creates conflicts in the couple."
- borsky
All of the Above
"It depends on what you are already lacking in life."
"Don't have a lot of money? Wait until daycare bills add up."
"Don't have a lot of free time or get much sleep? Welcome to being a zombie for a few years."
"Don't have much patience? You will be tested with every fiber of your being to shake your baby when it won't stop crying. You absolutely CANNOT do this by the way. It's better to put it down in a safe spot for a few minutes till you can do a few deep breaths and calm down and come back a bit more level-headed."
"Have a difficult time agreeing with your spouse on plans or values? Get ready for divorce or for eternal resentment."
"Not much of a sex life? Welcome to celibacy."
"My daughter is the light of my life and I have so much joy with her now that she sleeps through the night and has a personality, but being a dad is hard and I occasionally find myself in a panic attack because I'm nervous for what the h**l I'm gonna do in August when the new one is born. We are privileged in many ways but it's still so hard!"
- GMaharris
Parenting can be a beautiful, life-changing experience, but that does not mean that it's perfect, and it's absolutely not for everyone.
Conversations like this are important for people to have before they decide to have kids, so they can make the best decision for themselves and avoid those situations where uninformed people have kids, only to resent their children for the rest of their time together, which likely would lead to going no-contact.
The best of traveling is getting to see the world, escape from the trappings of our everyday lives, and be exposed to different cultures.
No one talks about the worst part of traveling–which is the actual travel part.
Especially where flights are concerned, you could be sitting for hours, feeling claustrophobic, and discovering the nuissance that is having restless leg syndrome.
All of these can be exacerbated by the type of passenger you have sitting next to you. Because if you're not on a journey with a travel companion, the stranger beside you could completely ruin your long-anticipated trip.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Guava_ asked:
"Who is the worst kind of person to be sat next to on a long flight?"
These Redditors experienced tainted oxygen.
Olfactory Assault
"Smelly person. I mean I don't think there's anything you can do about it while on the plane."
– sweetgossip
"I’d take a big person over a smelly person, nothing is worse than someone who smells like @ss and you’re trapped…. Total violation of the senses."
– marblepudding
Foul Stench
"I once sat next to a man who smelled terrible - like a zoo animal. He was wearing a suit and tie and was visibly nervous and had sweat dripping down his face. The only item he was carrying was a Bible that he kept occasionally looking at during the 4-5 hour flight."
"Then there was one time I was on a very hot plane on the tarmac, and the German woman next to me smelled horrible and lifted her arm to wipe her armpit with a napkin, and I just wanted to be removed from the planet."
– sloppy_biography
Nose-Hair Curler
"An older woman wearing the most foul smelling perfume my nose has smelled. It was a 9 hour flight. I felt like throwing up from my headache a few hours in."
– purplehotcheeto
Poor hygiene is one thing.
Foul emissions are another.
Gas Leak
"I sat next to a dude who farted the entire 5-hour flight. I almost vomited and it was absolutely vile. I needed a huge shower once I got home. It was bad."
– quemaspuess
The Silent Ones Are Deadliest
"Ha - I sat behind and across the aisle from a guy on a 2 hour flight, who kept farting the rankest farts. After several of them, I finally said out loud, 'What the f'k - nasty' just loud enough for him to hear and looking right at him. He stopped farting after that."
"They were silent but deadly, so I think he thought no one could tell who it was. But I had been upgraded to first class on this little regional jet and it was just the two of us up there."
– sloppy_biography
Diaper Change
"I once had the people behind me change their toddler's poopy diaper right there at the seat and oh god it was awful. We all turned the vents on to blow it away but it was pretty futile. People were gagging."
– mattbnet
Noticing certain behavior made these Redditors uneasy.
Nerves
"Lowkey if I saw a guy in a suit sweating profusely casually checking his bible id get kinda nervous."
– No1shades
"I had someone sitting in front of us with a toddler that had to have it’s diaper changed twice during a 3 hour flight and that kid must have ate nothing but beans or something…seemed excessive for a short flight. I’ve had to change my daughter when we were in a flight when she was that old, but it was once…and took her to the restroom to do it. They did not."
– woundedbearhair
Poetry In Motion
"I was flying home from a college friends reunion. I was hungover and exhausted. All I wanted to do on that flight was sleep. I was seated next to a lady who was writing in a tablet. She kept looking over at me. I thought that she thought I was trying to read what she was writing. I settled back and closed my eyes. When I gave my drink request to the flight attendant, the woman next to me caught my eye. She said ‘would you like to read my poetry?’ I wasn’t hardened enough to say no, so spent the rest of the miserable flight reading and talking about her poetry."
– Walway
Time To Chat
"I'm the furthest thing from a plane chatter oh my god, my anxiety about all of it can only be controlled by sinking into my own mental space and staying there. But one time I was seated next to an old dude who clearly wanted to talk, and in spite of myself I can't help being nice to people, so I let him talk to me for awhile hoping it would just be a brief chat. Well, it wasn't. But to be fair it was because I realized that this guy really wanted someone to talk to, and the more he talked the more I realized he deserved that. He was a widowed veteran doing his best to care for his troubled adult children and he had stories to tell. The story about getting startled by a monkey while on tour in the military was hilarious. And he didn't just talk, he asked about me. I ended up telling this total stranger that I was flying for cancer treatment and showing him my surgical scars. I will never forget that guy. I wish him well. But no, this didn't make me into a plane chatter. I'm grateful that I met him but I'm just as grateful that I haven't been seated next to someone who wants to talk since."
– CharlesMansnShowTune
Pist-Off
"The guy I sat next to on a 14 hour flight that whipped out a bag of shelled pistachios right when we got on and proceeded to crack and eat them for the whole flight. Between the noise of the cracking, the soft shell pieces flying everywhere, and him sucking the shells and licking his fingers, I’m surprised I didn’t end up tackled by air Marshall and hauled off at the nearest stop."
– wayfaringlens
Armrest hoggers are the worst.
And I'm embarrassed to say I'm one of them.
Look, it's not my fault most armrests are poorly designed and aren't wide enough to accommodate the arms of both passengers on either side of them.
That being said, I try to be as respectful of the other person by giving them space to rest their arms as well. What I don't appreciate is when they casually shove my arm off entirely so they can have it all to themselves.