Teachers Share The Stupidest Answers They Have Ever Gotten On An Exam

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That's cute but you're still getting an "F"!!!

Being a teacher is a difficult profession and it most certainly is never a dull profession. Often, students will try to imbue wit and humor in their test and essay taking moments, especially when they haven't bothered to do the work. And nine times out of ten that is not going to get you that allusive "A." Teachers must have a drawer full of "best of" responses on tests. Someone should write a book.

Redditor u/pvb456 wanted teachers out there to speak up by asking.... Teachers on Reddit, what is the most stupid answer someone has ever given on an exam?


Still an "A"

It was supposed to be a lengthy subjective answer on a particular concept, and instead, the student starts with a line of concept, answers a story based on a movie and ends with adding another conceptual line in the end. Buffer_18

In high school one of my classmates did this with a 5 page paper. Wrote an intro and a conclusion, filled 4 pages of nonsense, turned it in and got an A. Amaryllis892

I find my marks were significantly higher when I wrote for reading ease. Most markers at my uni only have 15 min to mark a paper, so if I (basically) hit all the points and it's an easy read I do well. existential_prices

Gotcha!

Giphy

My mum was a teacher, she was doing a geography quiz with year 7/8's (6/7th grade) one of the question's was "What was the biggest island until Australia was discovered, one kid answered "Trick question, Australia isn't real."

Edit: This was a while ago, before Australia was classified as a continent. Emotional_Security

Abe's Story. 

I once had a student write the following on an essay: "Everything I know about the Civil War came from the movie Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter."

I teach college. Hedwigbug

They should have read the book smh. ThisWeeksSponsor

The Places We'll See. 

My geography teacher used to mark GCSE exam papers in the summer for a bit of extra money. He told us the dumbest thing was a paper some girl had taken and had not done very well in. He got to the last question, a 12 mark essay, and she's just written a list of all her friends and their current boyfriends... clearly she realized she was going to fail anyway and didn't want to put the effort in! Little_Numbers

I "Smell" a Lie!

Giphy

My friend's sister once wrote 'birth control makes women smell bad so men won't have sex with her' in her biology exam. LeaAsh

Sounds like her parents told her that lie. saberskywalker392

Potatoes are Good. 

I teach English as a Foreign language in China

Learning about professions

Model Answer:

Q. What do you want to be?

A. I want to be a _____

Students Answer: I want to be a potato

Edit: As people seem to be enjoying this In the same spoken test, another student mispronounced Vet; I want to be a pet. Minigiant2709

"Un escargot"​

Math teacher here. One question had a graph with a bunch of points on it, and students were asked to state the range of the graph. Except I teach in French, and the word for range is "image," which is also a translation for the English word image. Student connected the dots in whatever way they wanted, and the sketch they ended up with kind of looked like a snail. So, their answer to the range of the graph? "Un escargot!" wagonmaker85

Take a Pause. 

I teach third grade. This was more funny than stupid. At least he tried.

Fill in the blank section of a test about Michigan history. The question was "What is the oldest city in Michigan?" There were 3 blanks.

The student wrote "De Troy It."

Correct answer was " Sault Ste. Marie." NoClueDad

D'oh!

Giphy

Not an answer, but they raised their hand to ask a question. The hand with all the answers written on it. mel2mdl

"All of Earth's clouds start out in kettles....."​

Ex Primary school teacher (5-11 for non UK people) here.

Science lesson based on the water cycle. Towards the end of the lesson a student asked if this how kettles make clouds under their kitchen worktops (obviously meant steam building up etc) ..

This is where i screwed up. Rather than dismissing the concept and focusing on only the water cycle, I responded "kind of yes," before proceeding to explain the differences between that of the water cycle, and that of how steam is produced, and why it builds up under the cabinets (it rises you see it when it cools etc etc) whilst comparing and contrasting the 2.

About 2 months later, a science exam, opening line:

"All of Earth's clouds start out in kettles....." b4rn5ey

1 or 3?

Giphy

Who is considered Americas founding father?

George W Bush. goklissa

Well...George is right so.....1/3 marks? tbone603727

(Which you had to pick from for the answers)

College English professor here, though the dumbest exam answer I ever saw came from one of my fellow TAs in a huge lecture hall film class back when I was still a grad student. For some unfathomable reason one of his students decided to answer the written final exam in the form of a poem that didn't begin to answer any of the exam questions nor did it reference any of the movies we watched in class.

(Which you had to pick from for the answers) But instead they just threw in references to whatever random movies he could work into his rhyme scheme, and even setting all that aside, this student still had zero talent for poetry. I don't know what the hell he was thinking but my friend decided to generously give the student a 20% for bothering to show up and at least write something down. schnit123schnit123

Just a Shake... 

My dad once told me about one of his students complaining she missed a point because the topic of the question wasn't covered in class. The question? "Can you get pregnant from a handshake?"

He was teaching freshmen med students. hopbel

A Myth. 

Just the other day, the question asked the learners to explain the myth in the passage.

Answer? A myth is a female moth.

And I just sort of looked at this answer for a while before realizing the extent of stupid answers. irmari01

1-to-1

Giphy

I am in a 1-to-1 school (every student is issued an iPad), so I use a digital quiz that my students can type on.

I can't remember what the question was, but I remember the student's answer.

It was a pizza emoji. mad_max_rebo

"Deepers and doo doo."

I was teaching AP environmental science. I had a kid in the class who really shouldn't have been, but it was the only science that fit into his schedule, and our counselors were morons.

The test was about water management, and the question itself was about wastewater treatment, something like "Identify two materials which would be removed from wastewater by primary treatment."

The kid, who was an 11th grader, said "Deepers and doo doo."

We assume he meant diapers and feces. I really hope so, anyway. VinnieMcVince

Sorry. 

My husband once wrote an apology in his Religious Education essay. He said he knew he wasn't going to pass and he was sorry the examiner had to read his paper. No, he did not pass. _Waterfire_

Drool Fail. 

In the final exam at school, one particularly lazy kid wrote his name on the front so it would count, then proceeded to fall asleep on and drool all over his exam. IPromiseImNotADog

I did something similar my junior year of high school for my Statistics class. As the only non-senior in either section, I was the only person taking the final. I knew the department policy was to curve the average grade to a B+, so as long as I showed up my grade for the course would be an A. Just sat in the gym chatting with one of the proctors until I was allowed to leave, the only thing I wrote in 90 minutes was some puns on my scrap paper. lightmonkeylightmonkey

Feathers...

One of my teachers said that as they were marking year 12 finals someone responded to an essay question with "I don't know but here's a picture of a bird" and then drew a really beautiful bird. Embershift

Stale Pie.

Giphy

Maths teacher here. The worst I've ever had was from a 16 year old who was asked to draw a pie chart. https://imgur.com/a/BecK9hO Paulistic

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