I really hope that educators keep journals. The stories that are woven for them on the daily about why students are tardy or why assignments are late have got to be epic. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, and what a mind some of us have when trying to cover our tracks. If only we could apply our creative know how to completing work and not avoiding it.... especially when we're younger. Teachers have got to have a "best of" compilation for student excuses.
Redditor u/imtroppocool wanted teachers to share with us some tales about when they believed students were trying to bamboozle them, when in fact bamboozling may not have been occurring, by asking.... Teachers of reddit, what was the best excuse for being late that turned out to be true?
Had a student ask to leave class once the test was finished because his lung had collapsed a couple days earlier and he was still recovering. He then pulled up his shirt to show me the valve they had inserted.
I told him he didn't have to take the test, but he had already studied for it and wanted to get it over with.
I also had a student ask to leave after the test because her husband had died the previous day and she had to make arrangements. Insisted on taking the test.
My students are hard-core.
Just This Time.
Student at Uni. Was late for an 8am because the night before I slept in the hallway of one of our class buildings doing homework... (we had sofas and desks around there so it was a nice and quiet place to study, also open 24/7).
Woke up around 8:30 and ran to my class which was one floor above the one I was.
The professor excused me and told me I could skip his class because they saw me sleeping there and said something on the lines of "at least you were doing your assignments so I'll let you go this time."
I was a teacher (college) but my students were mostly good. Oddest excuse was someone was late to lab and normally if you missed the opening slides/presentation detailing today's experiment you could not take the class that day. This was as much a safety concern as anything else. Once a student burst into the room just as I was finishing the slides so they were technically okay.
When prompted for a reason they said they had lost track of time squirrel fishing. Considering they still had the stick, string, and nuts in hand I let them go.
Squirrel fishing is common on our campus as a form of stress relief; I have done it a few times as well. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrel_fishing
IKEA All the Way....
Not me but my program coordinator told the story at orientation. Girl was a really good student. Always on time, studies like crazy, good grades. Overall close to perfect student. Pass or fail exam comes and she's a no show. They call her, text her, email her.
3 hours after the exam starts she walks in with an IKEA catalogue and the name and phone number of the manager written on it. She had been stuck inside of a broken down elevator at IKEA. She had no cell service in the elevator, so she couldn't call and explain. They let her start the exam in a separate room.
I have two.
- A soldier in an online class, he apologized for being late for turning in a paper. His reason, he was in a firefight the previous night. That was excused promptly.
- A student turned in a paper that was singed around the edges. His claim was he and his girl were getting romantic, and a candle lit his drapes on fire and I guess he pretty much burned his whole side of the house down. Verified the story with news that night. SquareDetective
A Few Tales....
Two different students in the same class.
A girl who came to school at lunchtime told me that she had spent the night at her grandparents in another city, and they woke up early in the morning as the house was ablaze.
Yup, could confirm her story online.
The house wasn't too badly damaged and everyone was OK, thankfully.
A guy who the week prior blamed a dryer for his tardiness, claimed that he only had one pair of pants. When he woke up in the morning his pants was wet, and he couldn't walk around with a soggy bottom, so he threw the pants in the dryer and waltzed off to do other stuff.
An hour later he took the pants out of the dryer, only to discover that he had forgotten to turn it on, and, well, he had to spend another hour to dry the pants.
His mom told me that as he had decided to switch to a specific style he had donated almost all his clothes. He actually only had one pair of pants.
Coronation Street Delay
My dad was a teacher in a school that is also used for filming a British TV soap opera. He would regularly be told that students were late due to having to do several takes (they would just walk around in the background of scenes). A few weeks later you'd see them on the TV. Coronation Street - the School is called Weatherfield High in the show, but when dad was there it was called Hope High School in reality.
Tiniest, quietest girl in the whole school walks in late, gets harshly questioned by the teacher on what her excuse was.
"I'm sorry, I got hit by a car."
She was 5 minutes late. She then proceeded to ask for permission to go to the infirmary. Her whole left side was covered in scratches and scrapes, but the door was on the right of the teacher's desk, so it wasn't immediately apparent.
"you poor girl"
I had a teacher who made us just write in a book why we were late, so we could quietly slip in and sit down without disturbing others. I simply wrote "work". She basically cornered me after, and half jokingly half serious starting drilling asking why I was so special my bosses needed me and she needs more info and omg don't they realize education was important?
So, with my head down unable to meet her gaze, I start to explain in horse breeding when you have high end horses you can collect their semen and just ship it all over. At the time they needed an extra hand and I was the only other employee comfortable working with their stallion. I went into great detail in all that is involved in the process.
She gave me a hug, said "you poor girl" and said I'm allowed to simply write "work" from now on if it happens again. (for the record, at that time I was simply the person holding the stallions lead rope and keeping him in control, not the one doing the nitty gritty stuff.)
Through the Window....Giphy
I was already running late and was hit by a car outside my class. The professor saw it through the window. I still went to class and she was cool about it, since I was hit by a car.
I Gored Myself
This might be the opposite of the prompt but once a professor canceled class 5 minutes before it started because she "found a chicken in her yard" ...? I gave her a real rough review when the time came.
Also i once had to turn in a graphic design final project a day late because I cut off my thumb with an x-acto blade. The professor was cool with it... I sent him photo evidence. 😂
An awesome teacher of mine let me into an SAT prep class late. When I told her that my apartment was robbed she was in awe. We were new immigrants and didn't have much, no Tv, no computers, just beds and some clothing, but my alarm clock was stolen (silly really!). She brought me an alarm on Monday with some clothes too.
Just Followin' Traffic Laws
Once my friend and I were late to a 7:45 am class, so we decided to stop at the stop sign (we were walking). When we got to class and the teacher asked why we were late, we told her we had to stop at the stop sign while walking. She let it slide for comedy's sake.
Humanity Made Me Late
In high school my chemistry teacher was 20 minutes late to first period. Another science teacher was getting class started when my teacher burst through the door holding a little gift bag. He had found a baby bird on his way to the school and took the time to make it a little nest in the bag and go buy food. The rest of class was spent caring for the little guy. He was one of my favorite teachers ever.
(Once he pulled the safety shower thing to show how it works and it wouldn't turn off. He flooded the classroom below us)
During my junior year of high school I was late to my first hour because my mom, who drove me to school every morning, had to stop the car on the side of the road to watch a family of wild turkeys for over 10 minutes.
Not The Most Efficient Use Of A Helicopter
In the 90's some dude thought to pick up his buddy from the train station on his helicopter, in Braga Portugal. While lifting off he hit the power lines and the helicopter fell on the motorcycle park near the station. No one got seriously hurt except the helicopter and a few bikes. Student of mine arrived late and his excuse was that an helicopter had crashed on his motorcycle so he had to walk. Did not believe him until I saw the news that night.
A Good, Long Nap
I'm a teacher now so this kinda counts, in high school once I went in like 2 hours before school started to finish up a presentation in the library, it only took me like an hour so I decided to go rest in my car till school started, woke up halfway through third period in my car and didn't turn my work in till the next day cause I slept through class.
I'm a student, and this incident happened... I think either first or second grade, either way I was probably right.
So, every morning my dad or mom would drop me off at the bus stop, and go do their own stuff, because, y'know, the bus always came. On this particular day, me and all the other kids in our neighborhood just sorta... Stood there for a while. It's getting late, and finally the bus arrives.
We're all freaked out that the bus was late, but hey, we can still make it to school on time, right? Wrong! The bus driver had a sub that day, one who had just moved to our city, and we were like the fifth stop.
Cue a bus full of elementary school kids who have never paid attention to a stop light trying their god damn best to guide a bus driver to the other stops, all while the clock keeps ticking on.
Eventually, the sub had to call our principal or something, in order to explain how the actual f*ck this happened, and another driver picked up the rest of kids while we finally got to school.
I really should've paid more attention to street signs, clearly.
Eyerolls Ain't The Way
I once showed up 30 minutes late to a college class and the teacher just rolled her eyes at me. I looked her in the eye and said "sorry I'm late. somebody died on my train." To be clear, I said this due to the New York MTA's use of the term 'sick passenger', which generally means someone who is unresponsive or possibly dead. In hindsight, the person might not have died, but it was still something that was entirely out of my control that prevented me from being on time to class.
A Classic Excuse With A Twist
Not a teacher but i walked in with a baggy of my homework that my puppy chewed up, teacher thought i was joking when i said my dog ate my homework, jokes on her i fed it to my dog so i wouldn't have to do it.
Caffeine And We'll Call It Even
I taught a grade 12 health class. The kids were 18 and I was 23. Two students were constantly coming in late first thing in the morning. Finally one day I asked them to come to my desk for a chat. I said to the two boys you are always late for class can you please explain why. They said we get breakfast in the McDonalds drive thru. I was like how about you guys get me a coffee the odd time and I won't mark you late..🤷🏼♀️🙃
I Guess I'm Three Dogs Now?
My 3 dogs ate the book I needed for about 20 different assignments. I had to put the chewed-up remains in a bag and take it to my teacher, and they gave me an F for all the assignments because they thought I had done it myself to get out of schoolwork. Yep, this dum@ss thought I chewed up a whole 300 or 400 page book all by myself. That book was bigger than my head and it was a hardcover book, explain to me how this idiot thought I thoroughly chewed an entire book by myself in less than 12 hours (I had used the book in their class for tutoring the night before and they were my 1st class in the morning).
Slip N Slide
Not a teacher, but the student. My Spanish teacher in high school asked me why I was late. I said my bus hit my science teacher's garage. The whole class started laughing their a**es off. My teacher had to explain I was telling the truth. They were friends and he already knew. The house was at the bottom of a hill on a gravel road. The road was pure ice and the bus couldn't stop
Adding Insult To Injury
I had to tell my math teacher I was late because the history teacher from the previous class wanted to lecture me after a student kicked me in the stomach.
The Math teacher had this look on her face that clearly showed she was having a hard time making sense of what I just said. She asked me what I did.
I told her that I have up to three Elizabeth's in each of my classes (Math had two). Almost every single one wanted to be called Lizze, Or Liz, or Beth. except one, and she was in my history class. I kept calling her by one of the other nicknames by accident, when she just wanted to be called Elizabeth. Except, this was the second to last class, and I was used to using one of the other variations. I kept slipping and called her by one of the nicknames, apologizing each time, and fixing my mistake.
Apparently, she got tired of it, and kicked me.
I got a 10 minute lecture about name calling. Elizabeth was just told "you know better than to kick someone." And we were let go. And yes, the Math teacher had to check this out to make sure it was true. And yes, I had a bruise on my stomach.
When The Pickings Are Slim
I went to high school in a small rural town. The main road leading to this town is a 2 lane highway with steep hills/curves. One morning there was some construction/accident causing major traffic and a detour. When we/parents called the school to inform them they already knew. A large group of students were all late by various times and didn't need proof.
The One Thing We Hope Never To Hear
Unbelievably sad, but "my mum died last night".
All the rest of the family lived far away, so dad brought the kids to school so someone could take care of them while he was making arrangements and until the grandparents could get a flight that afternoon. Asked the boy if he wanted to go to the counsellor, but he said he'd rather be with his friends.
He (and his siblings) were understandably absent the remaining two weeks of term.
I've actually had this excuse a second time (and it was true then also), but it was from a boy who was raised by foster parents from birth.
His birth mum had overdosed the day before and they kept him home to talk about it. He didn't care (he'd seen her maybe 5 times in 12 years) and was indeed happy because it meant that his foster parents could legally adopt him as his birth mum wouldn't sign the paperwork (she didn't know/wouldn't say who his biological father was).
This Is A Mood
Not my story, but a friend's. She said she was walking to school when she was in 1st grade and stopped to pet a cat. Well, she lost track of time and ended up getting counted absent. The office called her mother to ask why she wasn't at school, and of course everyone freaked out. They found her still sitting there with the cat.
Another Reason To Stop Eating Chik-Fil-A
This was me as a student, and resulted in both being late and leaving early. I have been using Invisalign, clear plastic retainers for those who don't know. The left side of my bottom teeth weren't moving the way the Orthodontist wanted them too, so they had to schedule an appointment to add three metal brackets and a short wire on my teeth to get that part of my mouth to move. My mother then took me to get Chik-fil-A after my appointment before heading to my school. While eating nuggets, the middle bracket came loose and began spinning around on the wire and between the other two remaining brackets. I tell my mother this, and she says we'll go back after school to replace it.
Around half an hour, I am in my Spanish class when another bracket comes out. I leave to tell my mother (she worked at the school), and she decided it might be more ideal to leave after Spanish, as the wire could begin poking at my gums and that wouldn't be good.
The Whole School Was Late
A couple years back there were roadworks all along the main road of our town, because of the extreme amount of traffic at 7:00/8:00 in the morning it all went very slowly.
But because everyone was stuck in the same traffic our whole school (teachers included) would all arrive an hour late to start the day because of the holdup.
One Way To Feel Like The New Kid
My car died in the middle of the packed college parking lot on the very first morning of classes, on my very first day of college. It died right in the middle of the lane so no cars could get around me. People were honking. Cars were having to back up one at a time to get out of the lane. I was extremely shy and pretty much begged for death at that point. I had to call my dad to come help me. Despite being able to SEE my class from my stranded car, I ended up being 30 mins late because I couldn't abandon it in the middle of the road.
Lack Of Money And Convenience
Idk if this counts, but one time, in the first week of the semester, I was over thirty minutes late to a 2 hour class because I legitimately couldn't find a parking spot! Very frustrating! Finally found one all the way across campus (had to spot someone walking to their car and ask if I could follow them and take their spot). The parking cost for the semester wasn't cheap either! Ugh
Sitcom Style Physical Comedy
Not a teacher but a student in hs. I was running late for school and was wearing heels and a dress for an academic challenge meet after school. I ran outside into the wet grass and then realized I forgot something inside. After grabbing whatever I left inside I ran back down the stairs and my wet heels slipped on the stairs. I managed to fall (literally) head over heels and my heel landed in the dry wall. At the time I did the announcements at school and had a student internship first block. I messaged my teacher with a picture of my bruised eye. The excuse seemed to work pretty well.
Vista Was A Nightmare
As a teaching assistant: 1) Student was late getting their assignments in, told us they had Lupus and had been in the hospital. Story checked out. 2) Football player repeating the class came in, looked like he expected to get chewed out and did by the head teacher. His excuse? His parents had thrown it out. He brought it in a couple days later, stained by food and liquids. They apparently told him it was worthless to try since he's never amount to anything and threw out all his school papers. He was accepted to college with our lunch timing tutoring.
Personally: my midterm college paper was due that morning and, within an hour of class, discovered I could no longer log in to my laptop to print it. Turned out my Windows Vista updated the night before and locked me out. Refused to accept my password. My teacher took one look at my laptop, patted my shoulder, and told me he'd give me an extra week because he also hated Vista with a heated passion. Took my sister and I a couple days but we managed to retrieve my paper from a backup, then upgraded my laptop to Win7.
When You Have Less Faith In Colleagues Than In Students
Fixing another teacher's car. I thought he was trying to pull a fast one but he was all smeared with brake dust/grease, and once I met the teacher he helped, I realized she would be stupid enough to drive 10 minutes with the kind of car problem he said she had.
The Professors Sympathize
I was a student at the time.
At my attending school, we had "Duke Exams". This was the title for an exam from Dr. Duke, a history teacher. She gave 15 "3 words prompts" and 5 questions for every exam.
The parameters for both of these? Write everything you know/remember from class.
I stayed in a Duke Exam for five hours, once. I was excused from all of my classes for that day because I told each professor that morning I had a Duke Exam.
The Teacher Probably Knew
I was smoking in my friends car before school. I left my stuff including my weed and my school books in my car. When it was time to go to school, I went to my car and realized I locked my keys in with everything else so simply calling my parents or AAA was not an option. I go to first period high af and my teacher asks why I'm late and why I have nothing with me so I tell her I locked my keys in my car. Fast forward to lunch period and I return to the car with some of my friends to somehow get myself back... a friend ended up smashing my entire back window. I was of course late to my next class and I had to explain the whole story (minus the weed) Teacher called me a dumb@$$.
What To Do When You Simply See "Explosive Diarrhea"
I have a Tardy Documentation Ledger which students are compelled to sign in when they are late. They can write a reason if they want (they are almost always tardy unless they have a pass). Most of the excuses are simply confessions, like "Walking slowly," or "talking to friends in the hallway." Occasionally I get an excuse that is more detailed, like "Explosive diarrhea," or "I got into a car accident today and the guy was a real jerk and he called the cops and I got mad and smashed my windshield and my sister almost got into a fight with the guy and the cop wrote me the ticked and my dad was so pissed and he said it will lose my car and my phone."
They're Gonna Win!
"We had a brainwave on how to build a killer robot, and lost track of time."
I checked. Daaaang, my students have some cool hobbies!
Amateur Robot Wars
I'm not a teacher, but when I was 14 I helped my mom teach summer school for 2nd graders the whole summer. This one kid didn't come to school one day, and when they came back the next day they said "oh, I needed to take my raccoon to the vet so I could get it neutered." I thought the kid was just lying and they didn't feel like coming. The next day this kid brings in a picture of them, gleefully holding a little raccoon. I still didn't believe it until their dad came to pick them up a few days later and guess what's poking it's head out the car window? A raccoon.
We Love Random Acts Of Imperialism
I went to a public high school on the Air Force Academy base, so if you lived off base, you had to stop and show your ID at the gate. One morning my senior year, I happened to get selected for a random car search - they had me pull off to the side of the gate and stand there for about half an hour as they looked under my hood and in my trunk and everything. So when I finally get to English class, I explain to my teacher what happened.... luckily my classmates could vouch for seeing me as they drove by
Misogyny At Its Finest
Not a teacher nor the student, but my great grandmother had a good one. Her car broke down and she had to fix it. Not so strange now, but the teacher had a hard time believing a woman could fix a car! It was the 30s after all. Well she lived on a farm and they only had girls so they all had to learn to fix things, great great grandpa confirmed. (Or so I was told)
It's Gettin' Hot In Herrre
Not a teacher, but my classmate was 30 minutes late for our Croatian language class this year. When our Headroom teacher asked him why he was late he told him that his house was on fire. He started laughing. It turned out to be true. His chimney and a part of his roof indeed was on fire.
Injuries Get You Every Time
In kindergarten, I tumbled down one of those twirly slides and bruised my nose, sprained my ankle, cut my lip open, and cut open the inside of my ear. Thinking back, I must have looked so bad@ss with blood pouring out of one ear and dripping from my mouth, a bruise on my nose which was also bleeding, and with a black eye from hitting it on the slide. My friend just walked me to the bathroom where I cleaned myself up (that's what I get for having a family full of nurses) and then walked me to get an ice pack for my ankle. I just set my foot up on the table and took my quiz.
There was also a time just before quarantine when I slipped off my skateboard (I don't always get a ride to school and it's only a twenty minute walk) and a whole chunk of the skin on my knee came off as i slid across the sidewalk. I always carry a first aid kit (again-family of nurses) and just straight up used a water fountain to rinse it off and then wrapped it and carried my board the rest of the way.
No Tone For The Stone
When I was in highschool I once had a small kidney stone which caused me to miss about a week of school. On my first day back, one of my teachers asked me in a condescending tone in the middle of the class where I was that whole week, as if I had skipped school to go on a tropical vacation. I answered that I had a kidney stone and her tone instantly disappeared.
The Most Stressful Time Of Your Life
I was absolutely stressing out my senior year of college, so much so that I went to counseling at the local mental health clinic. I lived at home during college, but I was trying to conceal the fact that I was going to a mental health clinic from my parents. This was the '80's and the stigma associated with mental health issues was way worse than it is now. So one day, I was allegedly leaving home early to study before class when I was really going to counseling about a mile or two in the wrong direction. After my counseling session, I had to move pretty damn fast to get to my college campus. I got to the classroom just as the teacher was pulling the door shut, but she saw that I was running to make it, so she just smiled at me and let me in.
Am a student. Was put in ESE in 4th grade because Florida schools are terrible at handling children when their parents refuse to drug them out of their minds. Got partially out of it in middle school, but wasn't fully mainstreamed until 8th grade because the school didn't want to give up their big fat paycheck from having one more ESE kid.
There was one class in 7th grade I showed up to an hour late every day. Turns out ESE classes follow a different schedule than normal classes, so my ESE English overlapped my Mainstream Social Studies by an entire hour. It got to the point where my SS teacher would send me to the office the moment I walked into her class. I think that was what finally got me out.
(The specific brand of ESE was called "Emotionally Handicapped." Feel free to look up how horrific it is.)
The funniest - "The bathroom sink exploded on me." Found out later that day that the pipe in the student bathroom actually did burst as my student was washing his hands.
The grossest - "The Police Horse diarrhead on me" They police officer brought the horse by the high school for part of some assembly. The students had like 20 minutes to see the horse afterwards if they wanted to. The horse apparently was having a bad stomach day...
The Most Unforgettable - "I was waiting for the pregnancy test to confirm I'm pregnant" I literally stared at her open mouthed for like 10 seconds before I thought of anything to say. She was so upbeat about it as well. (This was like a few days before her graduation so I'm not actually sure what happened with it all)
A Kebabster's Note
A kid said he was eating a kebab at a store, teacher didn't believed him and he showed him a paper from the kebab man confirming what he was saying.
Lines Don't Work When It's True
Not a teacher, but a classmate with limited english was once made to write lines to the effect of "I will not lie about crosses falling from the sky to excuse my tardiness." The teacher later had to apologise to the boy when the newspapers reported that the giant cross on the town clock tower had come off due to rust the morning before.
Always remember that one.
I Forgot My Clothes
I worked in the main office at a school and had TEACHERS come in late. The usual excuses: couldn't find my keys, traffic jam, kids sick and needed to get a sitter. One teacher came in just as the bell rang but immediately got sent home. She took off her coat and only had her slip on. She apparently forgot to put on her skirt because she was rushing around so much!!! She never lived that one down.
Sounds 90s But Ok
Although I am a teacher, my favorite excuse was one I helped provide.
I went to college in the dark ages, before anyone had their own computers. My university was small & lacking in technology, but they had one computer lab where students could type & print their papers. My friend A. had just finished printing out his term paper for one of his important classes (a lot was riding on this paper), & he started walking to my apartment because he was dating my roommate.
Halfway to the apartment, where there was no shelter at all, the skies opened up in a torrential downpour. When A knocked at the apartment door, he looked like he'd jumped in a swimming pool. He'd tried shoving his freshly printed paper under his jacket, but it still got soaked. He couldn't go back to the lab because it closed minutes after he had left it.
I had heard that you could dry paper in the microwave oven, so I convinced A to let me microwave the pages, one at a time. The results were ok-ish. The sheets were warped, some had very badly smudged ink, and most of them had scorch marks—but we figured his prof would accept it (with the story), and then A could print a better copy when the computer lab reopened. (It was only open about 5 hours a night.)
His professor laughed when A turned in his scorched, smudged, and slightly rumpled paper with his explanation and his fervent promise to get a better copy to her later, but she didn't have a problem with him reprinting it & handing her a more readable copy the next day. He still got a 95% or something on it.
Not Safe To Be Alone At Night
I'm not a teacher and I wasn't late to class but I was unable to finish my assignment one night in like 7th grade because I got jumped by three random people at my local park that didn't even know me and didn't get out of the police station until late at night. The teacher believed me because it was pretty obvious I got beat up. Also all three of them were at least like 2-3 years older than me and I was alone so I didn't stand much of a chance.
Big Cats Roam
Obligatory not-a-teacher, but as a sophomore in high school I went home for lunch. Turned in the news and there was legit a bengal tiger on the loose in my neighborhood (apparently there was a wild animal sanctuary across the way and he escaped). I loved calling my physics teacher to tell him why I was going to be late to my first class after lunch!!
A Block Of Swans
I was once part of an entire university accommodation block (60 students approx ) who were late for the first lecture of the day. This was due to a pair of the university's nesting swans (there was a lake on campus) deciding to shelter from the miserable weather in the entrance doorway. As these evil tempered murder birds were notorious for taking offence at the mere existence of other forms of life, especially bipedal lifeforms, nobody was too keen in attempting to dislodge them.
One of the more foolhardy guys did try poking one of the with a broom handle but its counterattack was so intimidating we decided that discretion was the better part of valour.
The Thing To Come Back With
I was late to a class in TAFE and usually they don't let you in if you're more than 15 minutes. I had a drs note so I thought I'd try anyway coz more than one missed class and you fail.
Anyway the teacher asks why I'm so special to be allowed in when I was late, giving me real attitude, that she's not going to pander to my irresponsibility and detract from those who could be bothered to attend on time.
I was feeling kinda embarrassed and kind annoyed so I replied " sorry my daughters oncology appointment ran late but her specialist wrote me a note "
She just kinda stared at me and told me to sit down.
The Best Note Ever
I taught in a rural school with a very good shop class. I had a kid (super nice, talented kid I liked a lot) run late into choir covered head to toe with grease with a completely frantic expression on his face. He handed me an equally greasy note that said:
Please excuse _____ from class. He's helping me put together a bus we need to run in 45 minutes.
I think I kept the note but I haven't seen it in a long time.
I'm not a teacher but when I was in high school a kid in my class got bit by a rabid beaver and he missed volleyball tryouts. We had class together and the teacher was the coach. Obviously the coach didn't believe him at first but saw the massive bruise from the bite/treatment. To be fair I wouldn't have believed that excuse either had I not seen the mark.
How To Save A Life
I was the student in question. I was once late by about 20 minutes to class. My teacher thought it odd as I am never late. I said "sorry, my friend had a seizure" that friends teacher even gave me a pass. They checked with that teacher. 100% true. I helped my friend who had a seizure in class. She didn't want to go to home and I thought she knew better as it was her body and her condition. She was fine through out the day. I would later marry her friend who also has epilepsy. I am also trained to assist with 5 different types of seizures.
Ouchy Ouchy Ouchy
Student not teacher, college math class. I'd burned the heck out of my hand and was taking hydrocodone for the pain. I could take 3 and still function, but that morning in my sleep addled state I'd taken 3 as I was getting ready, forgot, and took 3 more as I was running out the door. Realized what I'd done about 10 seconds later, thought "oh no," and went to class.
I had a good relationship with the teacher and she knew about the hand already, so when I got to class I just told her what happened, and that I felt fine now, but that I didn't know what was gonna happen. She just told me "sit in the back, if the formulas I'm writing start melting off the board, just get up and go home."
I left 15 minutes later.
Forgot new school started at 7 am and showed up for an 8 am start time instead. It was November. Also it was me. The teacher. I showed up an hour late to a class of seventh graders because of a brain fart.
Oh Just A Normal Toe-Breaking
"Hey, sorry I'm late, I broke my toe on the way here! I set it, I'm good."
It happened. She set it, went through class, and went home.
Turned out she broke bones every week or so due to genetics, but boy did it scare me the first two times!
Just Can't Moooooooove
My math teacher said the best excuse he ever got for a student not getting homework finished was that there was a cow in her pool.
My understanding was that it was a family effort to get the cow out, and that the cow was in danger, and it was a lengthy process. I'm not entirely sure what went down, and I am still wondering if there was a fence around the pool...and if so what kind of Houdini bovine stuff went down.
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Some people have to go.
We are in a place in life where calling out a person is the key.
People don't get to act a certain way just because.
We are withered to the bone with many types of personalities.
And it is time to free ourselves.
Satan be gone!!
Redditormoosesanddavewanted everyone to divulge truths about those that we are just about over having in our lives. They asked:
"Which types of people are you sick of?"
Letting go of people is hard. But the older I get, the better it feels.
Be Nice PeopleFail Music Video GIF by FOURCEGiphy
"People take their aggression out on service workers. They're cowards who pick fights with people they know can't stand up for themselves appropriately because it can unfairly lose them their job."
A Punching Bag
"I don't know about the rest of you but for me 90% of the time it is people that use you as a punch bag in their life. They tell you all the stuff and expect some feedback/support back but you will never get anything similar back. They tend to explode at you for a matter that has nothing to do with you but they choose you because they think you are for granted AKA a punch bag."
Let's call her Karen...
"I had a friend like this (let's call her Karen). Super mentally unstable, expected me to come over and listen to her crap at the drop of a hat. The time that truly stands out to me was when I was in the ER with my girlfriend because she'd had a fall and while I'm sitting in the ER, I get a text from Karen asking me to come over because she was needing to have a chat. I tell her I'm in the ER and obviously can't come and her exact words were "all I want is a friend here and you can't even do that for me?"
"I obviously don't reply because f**k that noise. An hour later she sends another text apologizing and saying how she's become "numb to the idea of being in the ER because she has been in there so many times". She eventually removed herself from my life. Good f**king riddance."
"People who gossip and stir the pot. People who loudly proclaim they hate drama and actually cause all the drama. Girls who put women empowering crap all over their social media but are happy to sleep with other girls boyfriends and gossip about them."
LessonsSorry Lebron James GIF by UninterruptedGiphy
"People who can't say that they're sorry or learn from their mistakes, and instead lash out."
Sometimes it's just time to let go...
Critique...Eyeroll Ugh GIF by The Bachelor AustraliaGiphy
"People who can't take criticism and try to blame it to someone or something else or entirely change the topic. Weak."
"Toxic positive people."
"I had someone who was fully aware that 2020 was the absolute worst year of my life (and it was pretty sh*t for everyone in general). Despite that he couldn't understand why everyone hated it because he claimed that there were so many games released so it was a good year. Because somehow that was supposed to completely make up for everything that happened that year."
Pass on By...
"People that gatekeep. Music in particular. Yea I'm a guy and i like madonna, I must be a wussy. Then I listen to cannibal corpse and similar death metal, so I must be edgy? I love to hear what others listen to. Almost everytime i ask someone what they like, i look up an album and end up discovering something new, but i try to focus on what I like about it. Music can be a very personal thing to people."
One TimeMariah Carey Tweet GIF by TwitterGiphy
"'Dude, that's nothing! One time I...'"
Time to take out the trash. Bye....
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It is time to get real about a few things in life.
We take too much for granted.
We never have an appreciation for anything until it's gone.
Redditorwhere_go_john_nowwanted everyone to listen up and start being more vigilant in life. They asked:
"What do people simply not take seriously enough?"
We can be so cavalier about so many things. Time to get serious.
EssentialsKenan Thompson Reaction GIF by NBCGiphy
"Sleeping enough and the health of their relationships."
"There are a lot of good answers to this question, but this one sticks out for me. You are in a 4000+ pound rolling chunk of metal, aimed at other 4000+ pound rolling chunks of metal. You should probably take that seriously and stop f**king around with your damn cell phone."
What you eat...
"I get why people don't care because it might take weeks until your body is adjusted to new diet and you don't feel miserable. I know it was really difficult for me at first to not buy like 3 donuts daily like I used to do. But, once you get past that transition it's like a whole new life and you can't go back to excessive sugar."
"You didn't really know how bad you felt until you are started eating healthy. I recently tried regular red bull and it made me feel like I had diabetes- couldn't take more than a few sips before feeling sick. Changing nutrition = give your body time to adjust and being kind, patient with your body."
In the Mouth
"Dental hygiene. There was a period of 10 years where I didn't see a dentist. Luckily, the damage done to my teeth and gums was an easy fix. Now, I make sure to floss and get my teeth cleaned every 6 months."
"I didn't see a dentist for 2 years due to the pandemic. Had to change dentists too since my old one closed his doors. When I went to the new one, the dentist told me that I had cavities. Plural. I had good dental hygiene for the most part, brushed and flossed at least once a day. Now I go every 6 months like it's religion."
Are we paying attention? I am...
Deep Watersthe beach water GIFGiphy
"Here in Australia tourist really take it for granted like not just the wildlife but we have some of the strongest currents in the world STAY BETWEEN THE FLAGS!"
Of the Mind
"It's the people who haven't been diagnosed and treated that are most at risk of not being taken seriously. Unfortunately, there is still a stigma attached to having mental health disorders that keeps people ill."
"That, and our health insurance issues. And there simply aren't enough mental health care professionals or facilities to service people who need treatment. Our attitudes about mental health need to change to make it a priority."
The Fur Babies
"Pet care. Your pet should be thriving, not just surviving."
"My dad wanted nothing to do health wise for my dog because he didn't want to spend the money, when I took over taking care of her and was making money I took her to the vet (maybe an excessive amount of times) but she lived to 14 years old."
I'll be there for you...
"Been trying for literally years. I'm plenty friendly, but IMO it's absurdly difficult to coordinate a meetup with more than one other person. And most people I meet aren't interested in (and I'm not comfortable with) meeting up at my place for a movie or something unless I already know them pretty well. I imagine things are easier with the help of drugs like alcohol or weed, but I don't touch either."
Take RestAngry Office GIF by Juan BillyGiphy
"Yes! We’re treated like we shouldn’t ever have feelings or get sick or have emergencies. We’re not robots."
Time to get real. Life is too short. Make it healthy.
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Danger lurks around every corner.
That is just a simple fact.
It's obvious that dark alleys in the dead of night are not a great idea.
But where else should we be on alert?
Redditorbeginnerlife22wanted everyone to be on the lookout for danger, so we survive another day. They asked:
"Which dangerous places should everyone avoid?"
I find danger anywhere and everywhere so my list of places is long. Help me lengthen it...
The Streamsdo the right thing water GIFGiphy
"Fast moving water."
"Working at a hydropower station and cant believe how ignorant some people are, fishing while standing on rocks right below. If they fall they are 100% gonna be flushed down the stream."
Pulled from Death...
"Monastery Beach in Monterey, CA. Going into the water can kill you and the waves have pulled people from the shore to their death."
"My old roommate wanted to go scuba diving AT NIGHT in Monastery, f**king crazy. I went along just to get out of the house, I’m not even scuba certified. But then he said to me, and I’ll never forget this, he said: 'if I’m not back in an hour, call rescue and keep the car,' Most anxious hour of my life waiting for him to come back safe, he made it though."
"When the park service tells you not to go somewhere, listen to them, especially regarding hot springs in Yellowstone."
"Also in regards to wildlife. I saw an article of a person who got gored by a bison recently at a national park because they got too close."
"And don’t bring your dang pets to Yellowstone. Too many dogs jumping in the boiling hot water."
"The blind spots next to and behind big trucks."
"True, i prefer to start my overtake some distance behind the truck so they have a chance to spot me in the mirror. I also avoid to linger next to the truck and generally try to keep my distance. A 50 ton semi will make my little civic very flat if it crashes into me."
"Kayaking or any water rafting type support with amatuers. Many people die due to carelessness or not knowing safety precautions."
Well thankfully I've avoided most of this list most of my life.
No Way Outseason 6 friends GIFGiphy
"Sulfur vents. You get nose-blind to the smell almost immediately. If the concentration gets high enough, you will asphyxiate. If you fall in, you may die from the steam burns before you asphyxiate, though. Either way, you ain't coming out."
"Caves. I know spelunking is a "cool hobby" for some people, just like scuba diving and rock climbing. But things can go so wrong so fast when you're in a subterranean cave, and it can be really difficult for anyone to come rescue you."
"You can die by falling, by getting stuck, by a cave-in, by getting lost, by getting caught in a flash flood and drowning... just so many awful ways to die in a cave. (See: John Jones dying in Nutty Putty cave)."
On the Field
"Old battlefields. You should never cross an an old battlefield even if it’s from decades ago, and seems 'safe.' There could be landmines hidden and you could end up with a limb blown off, or dead. It can be very difficult for someone to rescue you because there are landmines and it’s difficult to know where to step, and most battlefields are abandoned or far away from civilization."
"You can die by being exploded of course, wound infection or bleeding out (if limb was blown off), starvation and thirst. Either way, just don’t do it."
They are drowning machines....
"Low head dams on rivers. They are drowning machines. You fall off the dam, or swim too close the the downstream side where the water spills over- there is a circular current. It draws a person into the water fall; waterfall pushes the down to near bottom and shoots you down stream, but not enough to get out of the cycle. If you lived through it and surface, you are pulled back to the waterfall again."
Velocity Issuescelebrity GIF by Brimstone (The Grindhouse Radio, Hound Comics)Giphy
"Please stay away from rails, people always underestimate how fast trains are."
Has everyone listened? Be smart, not stupid.
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Much like a housecleaning effort on Facebook, there comes a time when we are forced to make the tough decision to end friendships and/or relationships.
Some people can weigh us down and prevent us from being the best version of ourselves, or others can be so toxic, that it's better to just cut our losses.
It's not always an easy decision to make, but downsizing can be the best-case scenario.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor NecessaryJacket4051 asked:
"People who have cut other people out, what was the final nail in the coffin?"
Friends can gradually grow distant, or be completely annoying.
"A friend I had in high-school and college became incredibly needy. We went to two different universities and lived in two different states and made a deal to call each other every week to catch up. They started to make poor decisions in their post-grad life which became an endless 'am I the a**hole' conversation where I became their confessor and forgiver but was never able to share anything about my own life."
"Things became bad for me, but despite me being there constantly for them, they couldn't return the favor. It came to a point where I got sick, missed one of their phone calls and they started to call me incessantly while I slept. The kind where they call you 20 times in a 5 minute span and leave messages from caring and concern 'hey where are you?' to 'I hate you, you don't care about me!' crap."
"Anywho, I was given the ultimatum of either never speaking to them again or calling them back and begging for forgiveness. Easiest choice I ever made. 8+ year friendship gone in an instant and I never once felt bad or looked back."
The Guilt Trip
"My first year of university I found out my mum had a lesion in the centre of her brain and the amount of fluid and pressure on her skull required immediate treatment. She was in hospital recieving treatment for weeks while I tried to navigate my studies and living away from home for the first time. I was a mess of anxiety and stress for months."
"During this time one of my very close friends continually got angry at me for not giving her enough attention despite never contacting me to check on my mothers situation or how I was coping. But I was expected to check in on her constantly and initiate all contact. I just deleted her number and unfriended her."
The Reluctant Chauffeur
"A friend asked me to drive him to a party."
"The party was at least a 4 hour drive (two states away), he couldn't pay for gasoline, and the hosts might give me a place to sleep. I was a college student who could barely afford gas to get to school."
"Everything about this sounded shady and one-sided, especially when he blew-off my questions. We didn't talk after that phone call - and nothing of value was lost."
"This happened in the early 90s, so no modern trip planning was available. No GPS, no Mapquest, and cellphones were expensive to use."
Dealing with inheritance can sure bring out the ugly in people.
"When my relatives on my mom’s side of the family not only took every possession she owned except some of her clothes, but also wanted to take my mom’s social security benefits after she passed away from cancer."
"My youngest sibling was only 12/13 when she passed so those benefits would help my dad raise my sibling. My relatives didn’t think my dad was a good father ever since my mom and dad divorced (mom cheated on my dad)."
"My uncle threatened to come over to our state to kick my husband’s a** and call the cops on me when I managed to get my mom’s SS funds transferred to my dad."
"Edit to add: To this day, I don’t know where my mom is buried as her family took her ashes and didn’t tell either me, my siblings, or my dad the location of her gravesite."
"After our father died, my two half sisters started harassing my one full sister about the inheritance. She was the one left in charge of it all, but was taking his death the hardest and having trouble getting through the paperwork."
"They were ruthless and made her feel horrible when she was already struggling. At the same time they would turn around and be totally nice to me because I’m the baby of the family and (despite me also being an adult at the time) they didn’t want to 'get me involved.'"
"Once the estate was settled I cut them out of my life completely. I’ll never forgive them for how they treated my other sister, and over money. Our father would be ashamed."
When your spouse isn't appreciated by family, who should you be most loyal to?
These Redditors had to make a decision that was actually very easy.
"My mother, brother, and sister are all incredibly toxic people, but I never cut them out 'because they're family.' Then the sh*t really hit the fan when I was getting married. At our Jack&Jill party, my mother was taking tons of pictures (as expected), but they were of me and my brother, me and my dad, just me, me my brother and my dad, etc. She didn't want my wife in any of them. I spoke up and said that my future wife should be in these pictures. It's her wedding day too. My wife, who was understandably upset, walked away from the weird photography session."
"My wife and I decide to go to the backyard area and hang out with her cousin and step brother. My cousin and his gf join us. Things get more fun, we're joking around, and having a good time. Then my mom and brother come outside extremely drunk (it was like 3 PM). My mom starts by taking more pictures without the bride in them, so I speak up again. My mom shushes me and slaps the back of my head. My wife then says my mom can enjoy her little family reunion photos and then goes back inside. I follow to make sure she's okay."
"I get in conversation with her, her mom, aunt, and other family members of hers. We calm down and move on. We talk about getting ice cream at a place down the street. I go back outside to ask people if they want to get ice cream (as most weren't causing issues, just my mom and brother). Before I say anything, my very drunk brother starts shouting 'f*** your wife, f*** her family, and began charging at me, but was caught by my dad and cousin who held him back. He was of course kicked out. My mom left with him in tears. My dad (my parents are divorced and don't associate with each other at all) apologized to everyone and left out of embarrassment."
"Wedding day comes. My brother is no longer my best man and is not invited. My sister is here from the other side of the country. The ceremony goes perfectly. My sister refuses to attend the pictures being taken of family and wedding party outside. During the reception, my wife, friends, some of my wife's family, and I are busy dancing on the dance floor. We notice my sister crying and walking around from table to table. We ignore it; as we expected her to try something dumb at our wedding. We find out from someone that my sister was trash talking my wife in the bathroom. We don't want to deal with drama on our big day, so we have the person in charge of the wedding hall/supervising the reception staff talk to her about her behavior (she told us we could during the wedding planning process). My sister freaks out and acts all offended. She and my mom then stage a walk out protest of our wedding, taking a large majority of my aunts, uncles, and cousins with them (not all thankfully)."
"To this day (it's been 4 years), I haven't spoken to anyone who walked out."
"I got married like 2 Weeks ago and had something similar happens except I was in the position of you're wife. I had never expected to have to hide in a room and cry on my wedding day. Truly some horrible people."
The Father Who Wasn't
"I cut my biological dad completely off because he just didn't try."
"When I was younger I cut contact with him because he didn't believe me when I told him his new wife was abusing me and my sister. I petitioned for my parents' custody agreement to be changed and everything to protect me and my sister. We didn't see him again as minors."
"When we were adults he reached out to me and expressed regret at not being there for us and wanted to reconnect. We (me, sister, and him) met for dinner twice and then he just started not showing up. I stopped telling my sister we were even supposed to be meeting him because she was so disappointed that he flaked and just took her out myself, knowing he wouldn't show. I told him after like the fifth time that he clearly didn't care enough to even let us know he wasn't gonna show so I wanted nothing to do with him. He replied in some apologetic way but I left him on read."
"Fast forward about six years. I got married and my husband has a lot of regrets about his estranged father dying before they could reconnect, so I reached out to my bio dad again. No plans were made to meet but we did chat occasionally. Until it became just me initiating conversation and him not ever reaching out to me first. I stopped sending him messages about five months after I got married. I've been married three years and haven't heard from him even once since."
"I guess TLDR the final straw was me realizing I was always gonna put more effort in for a relationship that I didn't need."
No Time For Nastiness
"I finally cut my father's wife out of our lives after my wife and I had our first child. I was able to put up with her nastiness growing up, but the second I saw that nastiness get directed towards my kid, it was over."
"My decision was further solidified when I found out she texted me from my Dad's phone, pretending to be him and unbeknownst to him, saying we should invite her to my kid's birthday party and make amends. She also made a giant scene a few years later at my Grandmother's wake."
For some, cutting someone out of their lives is not a difficult decision to make when it's your mental well-being that is suffering.
Forget about keeping up with appearances. Looking out for yourself and your loved ones by permanently disassociating from toxic people is a no-brainer.
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