I really hope that educators keep journals. The stories that are woven for them on the daily about why students are tardy or why assignments are late have got to be epic. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, and what a mind some of us have when trying to cover our tracks. If only we could apply our creative know how to completing work and not avoiding it.... especially when we're younger. Teachers have got to have a "best of" compilation for student excuses.
Redditor u/imtroppocool wanted teachers to share with us some tales about when they believed students were trying to bamboozle them, when in fact bamboozling may not have been occurring, by asking.... Teachers of reddit, what was the best excuse for being late that turned out to be true?
Had a student ask to leave class once the test was finished because his lung had collapsed a couple days earlier and he was still recovering. He then pulled up his shirt to show me the valve they had inserted.
I told him he didn't have to take the test, but he had already studied for it and wanted to get it over with.
I also had a student ask to leave after the test because her husband had died the previous day and she had to make arrangements. Insisted on taking the test.
My students are hard-core.
Just This Time.
Student at Uni. Was late for an 8am because the night before I slept in the hallway of one of our class buildings doing homework... (we had sofas and desks around there so it was a nice and quiet place to study, also open 24/7).
Woke up around 8:30 and ran to my class which was one floor above the one I was.
The professor excused me and told me I could skip his class because they saw me sleeping there and said something on the lines of "at least you were doing your assignments so I'll let you go this time."
I was a teacher (college) but my students were mostly good. Oddest excuse was someone was late to lab and normally if you missed the opening slides/presentation detailing today's experiment you could not take the class that day. This was as much a safety concern as anything else. Once a student burst into the room just as I was finishing the slides so they were technically okay.
When prompted for a reason they said they had lost track of time squirrel fishing. Considering they still had the stick, string, and nuts in hand I let them go.
Squirrel fishing is common on our campus as a form of stress relief; I have done it a few times as well. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrel_fishing
IKEA All the Way....
Not me but my program coordinator told the story at orientation. Girl was a really good student. Always on time, studies like crazy, good grades. Overall close to perfect student. Pass or fail exam comes and she's a no show. They call her, text her, email her.
3 hours after the exam starts she walks in with an IKEA catalogue and the name and phone number of the manager written on it. She had been stuck inside of a broken down elevator at IKEA. She had no cell service in the elevator, so she couldn't call and explain. They let her start the exam in a separate room.
I have two.
- A soldier in an online class, he apologized for being late for turning in a paper. His reason, he was in a firefight the previous night. That was excused promptly.
- A student turned in a paper that was singed around the edges. His claim was he and his girl were getting romantic, and a candle lit his drapes on fire and I guess he pretty much burned his whole side of the house down. Verified the story with news that night. SquareDetective
A Few Tales....
Two different students in the same class.
A girl who came to school at lunchtime told me that she had spent the night at her grandparents in another city, and they woke up early in the morning as the house was ablaze.
Yup, could confirm her story online.
The house wasn't too badly damaged and everyone was OK, thankfully.
A guy who the week prior blamed a dryer for his tardiness, claimed that he only had one pair of pants. When he woke up in the morning his pants was wet, and he couldn't walk around with a soggy bottom, so he threw the pants in the dryer and waltzed off to do other stuff.
An hour later he took the pants out of the dryer, only to discover that he had forgotten to turn it on, and, well, he had to spend another hour to dry the pants.
His mom told me that as he had decided to switch to a specific style he had donated almost all his clothes. He actually only had one pair of pants.
Coronation Street Delay
My dad was a teacher in a school that is also used for filming a British TV soap opera. He would regularly be told that students were late due to having to do several takes (they would just walk around in the background of scenes). A few weeks later you'd see them on the TV. Coronation Street - the School is called Weatherfield High in the show, but when dad was there it was called Hope High School in reality.
Tiniest, quietest girl in the whole school walks in late, gets harshly questioned by the teacher on what her excuse was.
"I'm sorry, I got hit by a car."
She was 5 minutes late. She then proceeded to ask for permission to go to the infirmary. Her whole left side was covered in scratches and scrapes, but the door was on the right of the teacher's desk, so it wasn't immediately apparent.
"you poor girl"
I had a teacher who made us just write in a book why we were late, so we could quietly slip in and sit down without disturbing others. I simply wrote "work". She basically cornered me after, and half jokingly half serious starting drilling asking why I was so special my bosses needed me and she needs more info and omg don't they realize education was important?
So, with my head down unable to meet her gaze, I start to explain in horse breeding when you have high end horses you can collect their semen and just ship it all over. At the time they needed an extra hand and I was the only other employee comfortable working with their stallion. I went into great detail in all that is involved in the process.
She gave me a hug, said "you poor girl" and said I'm allowed to simply write "work" from now on if it happens again. (for the record, at that time I was simply the person holding the stallions lead rope and keeping him in control, not the one doing the nitty gritty stuff.)
Through the Window....Giphy
I was already running late and was hit by a car outside my class. The professor saw it through the window. I still went to class and she was cool about it, since I was hit by a car.
I Gored Myself
This might be the opposite of the prompt but once a professor canceled class 5 minutes before it started because she "found a chicken in her yard" ...? I gave her a real rough review when the time came.
Also i once had to turn in a graphic design final project a day late because I cut off my thumb with an x-acto blade. The professor was cool with it... I sent him photo evidence. 😂
An awesome teacher of mine let me into an SAT prep class late. When I told her that my apartment was robbed she was in awe. We were new immigrants and didn't have much, no Tv, no computers, just beds and some clothing, but my alarm clock was stolen (silly really!). She brought me an alarm on Monday with some clothes too.
Just Followin' Traffic Laws
Once my friend and I were late to a 7:45 am class, so we decided to stop at the stop sign (we were walking). When we got to class and the teacher asked why we were late, we told her we had to stop at the stop sign while walking. She let it slide for comedy's sake.
Humanity Made Me Late
In high school my chemistry teacher was 20 minutes late to first period. Another science teacher was getting class started when my teacher burst through the door holding a little gift bag. He had found a baby bird on his way to the school and took the time to make it a little nest in the bag and go buy food. The rest of class was spent caring for the little guy. He was one of my favorite teachers ever.
(Once he pulled the safety shower thing to show how it works and it wouldn't turn off. He flooded the classroom below us)
During my junior year of high school I was late to my first hour because my mom, who drove me to school every morning, had to stop the car on the side of the road to watch a family of wild turkeys for over 10 minutes.
Not The Most Efficient Use Of A Helicopter
In the 90's some dude thought to pick up his buddy from the train station on his helicopter, in Braga Portugal. While lifting off he hit the power lines and the helicopter fell on the motorcycle park near the station. No one got seriously hurt except the helicopter and a few bikes. Student of mine arrived late and his excuse was that an helicopter had crashed on his motorcycle so he had to walk. Did not believe him until I saw the news that night.
A Good, Long Nap
I'm a teacher now so this kinda counts, in high school once I went in like 2 hours before school started to finish up a presentation in the library, it only took me like an hour so I decided to go rest in my car till school started, woke up halfway through third period in my car and didn't turn my work in till the next day cause I slept through class.
I'm a student, and this incident happened... I think either first or second grade, either way I was probably right.
So, every morning my dad or mom would drop me off at the bus stop, and go do their own stuff, because, y'know, the bus always came. On this particular day, me and all the other kids in our neighborhood just sorta... Stood there for a while. It's getting late, and finally the bus arrives.
We're all freaked out that the bus was late, but hey, we can still make it to school on time, right? Wrong! The bus driver had a sub that day, one who had just moved to our city, and we were like the fifth stop.
Cue a bus full of elementary school kids who have never paid attention to a stop light trying their god damn best to guide a bus driver to the other stops, all while the clock keeps ticking on.
Eventually, the sub had to call our principal or something, in order to explain how the actual f*ck this happened, and another driver picked up the rest of kids while we finally got to school.
I really should've paid more attention to street signs, clearly.
Eyerolls Ain't The Way
I once showed up 30 minutes late to a college class and the teacher just rolled her eyes at me. I looked her in the eye and said "sorry I'm late. somebody died on my train." To be clear, I said this due to the New York MTA's use of the term 'sick passenger', which generally means someone who is unresponsive or possibly dead. In hindsight, the person might not have died, but it was still something that was entirely out of my control that prevented me from being on time to class.
A Classic Excuse With A Twist
Not a teacher but i walked in with a baggy of my homework that my puppy chewed up, teacher thought i was joking when i said my dog ate my homework, jokes on her i fed it to my dog so i wouldn't have to do it.
Caffeine And We'll Call It Even
I taught a grade 12 health class. The kids were 18 and I was 23. Two students were constantly coming in late first thing in the morning. Finally one day I asked them to come to my desk for a chat. I said to the two boys you are always late for class can you please explain why. They said we get breakfast in the McDonalds drive thru. I was like how about you guys get me a coffee the odd time and I won't mark you late..🤷🏼♀️🙃
I Guess I'm Three Dogs Now?
My 3 dogs ate the book I needed for about 20 different assignments. I had to put the chewed-up remains in a bag and take it to my teacher, and they gave me an F for all the assignments because they thought I had done it myself to get out of schoolwork. Yep, this dum@ss thought I chewed up a whole 300 or 400 page book all by myself. That book was bigger than my head and it was a hardcover book, explain to me how this idiot thought I thoroughly chewed an entire book by myself in less than 12 hours (I had used the book in their class for tutoring the night before and they were my 1st class in the morning).
Slip N Slide
Not a teacher, but the student. My Spanish teacher in high school asked me why I was late. I said my bus hit my science teacher's garage. The whole class started laughing their a**es off. My teacher had to explain I was telling the truth. They were friends and he already knew. The house was at the bottom of a hill on a gravel road. The road was pure ice and the bus couldn't stop
Adding Insult To Injury
I had to tell my math teacher I was late because the history teacher from the previous class wanted to lecture me after a student kicked me in the stomach.
The Math teacher had this look on her face that clearly showed she was having a hard time making sense of what I just said. She asked me what I did.
I told her that I have up to three Elizabeth's in each of my classes (Math had two). Almost every single one wanted to be called Lizze, Or Liz, or Beth. except one, and she was in my history class. I kept calling her by one of the other nicknames by accident, when she just wanted to be called Elizabeth. Except, this was the second to last class, and I was used to using one of the other variations. I kept slipping and called her by one of the nicknames, apologizing each time, and fixing my mistake.
Apparently, she got tired of it, and kicked me.
I got a 10 minute lecture about name calling. Elizabeth was just told "you know better than to kick someone." And we were let go. And yes, the Math teacher had to check this out to make sure it was true. And yes, I had a bruise on my stomach.
When The Pickings Are Slim
I went to high school in a small rural town. The main road leading to this town is a 2 lane highway with steep hills/curves. One morning there was some construction/accident causing major traffic and a detour. When we/parents called the school to inform them they already knew. A large group of students were all late by various times and didn't need proof.
The One Thing We Hope Never To Hear
Unbelievably sad, but "my mum died last night".
All the rest of the family lived far away, so dad brought the kids to school so someone could take care of them while he was making arrangements and until the grandparents could get a flight that afternoon. Asked the boy if he wanted to go to the counsellor, but he said he'd rather be with his friends.
He (and his siblings) were understandably absent the remaining two weeks of term.
I've actually had this excuse a second time (and it was true then also), but it was from a boy who was raised by foster parents from birth.
His birth mum had overdosed the day before and they kept him home to talk about it. He didn't care (he'd seen her maybe 5 times in 12 years) and was indeed happy because it meant that his foster parents could legally adopt him as his birth mum wouldn't sign the paperwork (she didn't know/wouldn't say who his biological father was).
This Is A Mood
Not my story, but a friend's. She said she was walking to school when she was in 1st grade and stopped to pet a cat. Well, she lost track of time and ended up getting counted absent. The office called her mother to ask why she wasn't at school, and of course everyone freaked out. They found her still sitting there with the cat.
Another Reason To Stop Eating Chik-Fil-A
This was me as a student, and resulted in both being late and leaving early. I have been using Invisalign, clear plastic retainers for those who don't know. The left side of my bottom teeth weren't moving the way the Orthodontist wanted them too, so they had to schedule an appointment to add three metal brackets and a short wire on my teeth to get that part of my mouth to move. My mother then took me to get Chik-fil-A after my appointment before heading to my school. While eating nuggets, the middle bracket came loose and began spinning around on the wire and between the other two remaining brackets. I tell my mother this, and she says we'll go back after school to replace it.
Around half an hour, I am in my Spanish class when another bracket comes out. I leave to tell my mother (she worked at the school), and she decided it might be more ideal to leave after Spanish, as the wire could begin poking at my gums and that wouldn't be good.
The Whole School Was Late
A couple years back there were roadworks all along the main road of our town, because of the extreme amount of traffic at 7:00/8:00 in the morning it all went very slowly.
But because everyone was stuck in the same traffic our whole school (teachers included) would all arrive an hour late to start the day because of the holdup.
One Way To Feel Like The New Kid
My car died in the middle of the packed college parking lot on the very first morning of classes, on my very first day of college. It died right in the middle of the lane so no cars could get around me. People were honking. Cars were having to back up one at a time to get out of the lane. I was extremely shy and pretty much begged for death at that point. I had to call my dad to come help me. Despite being able to SEE my class from my stranded car, I ended up being 30 mins late because I couldn't abandon it in the middle of the road.
Lack Of Money And Convenience
Idk if this counts, but one time, in the first week of the semester, I was over thirty minutes late to a 2 hour class because I legitimately couldn't find a parking spot! Very frustrating! Finally found one all the way across campus (had to spot someone walking to their car and ask if I could follow them and take their spot). The parking cost for the semester wasn't cheap either! Ugh
Sitcom Style Physical Comedy
Not a teacher but a student in hs. I was running late for school and was wearing heels and a dress for an academic challenge meet after school. I ran outside into the wet grass and then realized I forgot something inside. After grabbing whatever I left inside I ran back down the stairs and my wet heels slipped on the stairs. I managed to fall (literally) head over heels and my heel landed in the dry wall. At the time I did the announcements at school and had a student internship first block. I messaged my teacher with a picture of my bruised eye. The excuse seemed to work pretty well.
Vista Was A Nightmare
As a teaching assistant: 1) Student was late getting their assignments in, told us they had Lupus and had been in the hospital. Story checked out. 2) Football player repeating the class came in, looked like he expected to get chewed out and did by the head teacher. His excuse? His parents had thrown it out. He brought it in a couple days later, stained by food and liquids. They apparently told him it was worthless to try since he's never amount to anything and threw out all his school papers. He was accepted to college with our lunch timing tutoring.
Personally: my midterm college paper was due that morning and, within an hour of class, discovered I could no longer log in to my laptop to print it. Turned out my Windows Vista updated the night before and locked me out. Refused to accept my password. My teacher took one look at my laptop, patted my shoulder, and told me he'd give me an extra week because he also hated Vista with a heated passion. Took my sister and I a couple days but we managed to retrieve my paper from a backup, then upgraded my laptop to Win7.
When You Have Less Faith In Colleagues Than In Students
Fixing another teacher's car. I thought he was trying to pull a fast one but he was all smeared with brake dust/grease, and once I met the teacher he helped, I realized she would be stupid enough to drive 10 minutes with the kind of car problem he said she had.
The Professors Sympathize
I was a student at the time.
At my attending school, we had "Duke Exams". This was the title for an exam from Dr. Duke, a history teacher. She gave 15 "3 words prompts" and 5 questions for every exam.
The parameters for both of these? Write everything you know/remember from class.
I stayed in a Duke Exam for five hours, once. I was excused from all of my classes for that day because I told each professor that morning I had a Duke Exam.
The Teacher Probably Knew
I was smoking in my friends car before school. I left my stuff including my weed and my school books in my car. When it was time to go to school, I went to my car and realized I locked my keys in with everything else so simply calling my parents or AAA was not an option. I go to first period high af and my teacher asks why I'm late and why I have nothing with me so I tell her I locked my keys in my car. Fast forward to lunch period and I return to the car with some of my friends to somehow get myself back... a friend ended up smashing my entire back window. I was of course late to my next class and I had to explain the whole story (minus the weed) Teacher called me a dumb@$$.
What To Do When You Simply See "Explosive Diarrhea"
I have a Tardy Documentation Ledger which students are compelled to sign in when they are late. They can write a reason if they want (they are almost always tardy unless they have a pass). Most of the excuses are simply confessions, like "Walking slowly," or "talking to friends in the hallway." Occasionally I get an excuse that is more detailed, like "Explosive diarrhea," or "I got into a car accident today and the guy was a real jerk and he called the cops and I got mad and smashed my windshield and my sister almost got into a fight with the guy and the cop wrote me the ticked and my dad was so pissed and he said it will lose my car and my phone."
They're Gonna Win!
"We had a brainwave on how to build a killer robot, and lost track of time."
I checked. Daaaang, my students have some cool hobbies!
Amateur Robot Wars
I'm not a teacher, but when I was 14 I helped my mom teach summer school for 2nd graders the whole summer. This one kid didn't come to school one day, and when they came back the next day they said "oh, I needed to take my raccoon to the vet so I could get it neutered." I thought the kid was just lying and they didn't feel like coming. The next day this kid brings in a picture of them, gleefully holding a little raccoon. I still didn't believe it until their dad came to pick them up a few days later and guess what's poking it's head out the car window? A raccoon.
We Love Random Acts Of Imperialism
I went to a public high school on the Air Force Academy base, so if you lived off base, you had to stop and show your ID at the gate. One morning my senior year, I happened to get selected for a random car search - they had me pull off to the side of the gate and stand there for about half an hour as they looked under my hood and in my trunk and everything. So when I finally get to English class, I explain to my teacher what happened.... luckily my classmates could vouch for seeing me as they drove by
Misogyny At Its Finest
Not a teacher nor the student, but my great grandmother had a good one. Her car broke down and she had to fix it. Not so strange now, but the teacher had a hard time believing a woman could fix a car! It was the 30s after all. Well she lived on a farm and they only had girls so they all had to learn to fix things, great great grandpa confirmed. (Or so I was told)
It's Gettin' Hot In Herrre
Not a teacher, but my classmate was 30 minutes late for our Croatian language class this year. When our Headroom teacher asked him why he was late he told him that his house was on fire. He started laughing. It turned out to be true. His chimney and a part of his roof indeed was on fire.
Injuries Get You Every Time
In kindergarten, I tumbled down one of those twirly slides and bruised my nose, sprained my ankle, cut my lip open, and cut open the inside of my ear. Thinking back, I must have looked so bad@ss with blood pouring out of one ear and dripping from my mouth, a bruise on my nose which was also bleeding, and with a black eye from hitting it on the slide. My friend just walked me to the bathroom where I cleaned myself up (that's what I get for having a family full of nurses) and then walked me to get an ice pack for my ankle. I just set my foot up on the table and took my quiz.
There was also a time just before quarantine when I slipped off my skateboard (I don't always get a ride to school and it's only a twenty minute walk) and a whole chunk of the skin on my knee came off as i slid across the sidewalk. I always carry a first aid kit (again-family of nurses) and just straight up used a water fountain to rinse it off and then wrapped it and carried my board the rest of the way.
No Tone For The Stone
When I was in highschool I once had a small kidney stone which caused me to miss about a week of school. On my first day back, one of my teachers asked me in a condescending tone in the middle of the class where I was that whole week, as if I had skipped school to go on a tropical vacation. I answered that I had a kidney stone and her tone instantly disappeared.
The Most Stressful Time Of Your Life
I was absolutely stressing out my senior year of college, so much so that I went to counseling at the local mental health clinic. I lived at home during college, but I was trying to conceal the fact that I was going to a mental health clinic from my parents. This was the '80's and the stigma associated with mental health issues was way worse than it is now. So one day, I was allegedly leaving home early to study before class when I was really going to counseling about a mile or two in the wrong direction. After my counseling session, I had to move pretty damn fast to get to my college campus. I got to the classroom just as the teacher was pulling the door shut, but she saw that I was running to make it, so she just smiled at me and let me in.
Am a student. Was put in ESE in 4th grade because Florida schools are terrible at handling children when their parents refuse to drug them out of their minds. Got partially out of it in middle school, but wasn't fully mainstreamed until 8th grade because the school didn't want to give up their big fat paycheck from having one more ESE kid.
There was one class in 7th grade I showed up to an hour late every day. Turns out ESE classes follow a different schedule than normal classes, so my ESE English overlapped my Mainstream Social Studies by an entire hour. It got to the point where my SS teacher would send me to the office the moment I walked into her class. I think that was what finally got me out.
(The specific brand of ESE was called "Emotionally Handicapped." Feel free to look up how horrific it is.)
The funniest - "The bathroom sink exploded on me." Found out later that day that the pipe in the student bathroom actually did burst as my student was washing his hands.
The grossest - "The Police Horse diarrhead on me" They police officer brought the horse by the high school for part of some assembly. The students had like 20 minutes to see the horse afterwards if they wanted to. The horse apparently was having a bad stomach day...
The Most Unforgettable - "I was waiting for the pregnancy test to confirm I'm pregnant" I literally stared at her open mouthed for like 10 seconds before I thought of anything to say. She was so upbeat about it as well. (This was like a few days before her graduation so I'm not actually sure what happened with it all)
A Kebabster's Note
A kid said he was eating a kebab at a store, teacher didn't believed him and he showed him a paper from the kebab man confirming what he was saying.
Lines Don't Work When It's True
Not a teacher, but a classmate with limited english was once made to write lines to the effect of "I will not lie about crosses falling from the sky to excuse my tardiness." The teacher later had to apologise to the boy when the newspapers reported that the giant cross on the town clock tower had come off due to rust the morning before.
Always remember that one.
I Forgot My Clothes
I worked in the main office at a school and had TEACHERS come in late. The usual excuses: couldn't find my keys, traffic jam, kids sick and needed to get a sitter. One teacher came in just as the bell rang but immediately got sent home. She took off her coat and only had her slip on. She apparently forgot to put on her skirt because she was rushing around so much!!! She never lived that one down.
Sounds 90s But Ok
Although I am a teacher, my favorite excuse was one I helped provide.
I went to college in the dark ages, before anyone had their own computers. My university was small & lacking in technology, but they had one computer lab where students could type & print their papers. My friend A. had just finished printing out his term paper for one of his important classes (a lot was riding on this paper), & he started walking to my apartment because he was dating my roommate.
Halfway to the apartment, where there was no shelter at all, the skies opened up in a torrential downpour. When A knocked at the apartment door, he looked like he'd jumped in a swimming pool. He'd tried shoving his freshly printed paper under his jacket, but it still got soaked. He couldn't go back to the lab because it closed minutes after he had left it.
I had heard that you could dry paper in the microwave oven, so I convinced A to let me microwave the pages, one at a time. The results were ok-ish. The sheets were warped, some had very badly smudged ink, and most of them had scorch marks—but we figured his prof would accept it (with the story), and then A could print a better copy when the computer lab reopened. (It was only open about 5 hours a night.)
His professor laughed when A turned in his scorched, smudged, and slightly rumpled paper with his explanation and his fervent promise to get a better copy to her later, but she didn't have a problem with him reprinting it & handing her a more readable copy the next day. He still got a 95% or something on it.
Not Safe To Be Alone At Night
I'm not a teacher and I wasn't late to class but I was unable to finish my assignment one night in like 7th grade because I got jumped by three random people at my local park that didn't even know me and didn't get out of the police station until late at night. The teacher believed me because it was pretty obvious I got beat up. Also all three of them were at least like 2-3 years older than me and I was alone so I didn't stand much of a chance.
Big Cats Roam
Obligatory not-a-teacher, but as a sophomore in high school I went home for lunch. Turned in the news and there was legit a bengal tiger on the loose in my neighborhood (apparently there was a wild animal sanctuary across the way and he escaped). I loved calling my physics teacher to tell him why I was going to be late to my first class after lunch!!
A Block Of Swans
I was once part of an entire university accommodation block (60 students approx ) who were late for the first lecture of the day. This was due to a pair of the university's nesting swans (there was a lake on campus) deciding to shelter from the miserable weather in the entrance doorway. As these evil tempered murder birds were notorious for taking offence at the mere existence of other forms of life, especially bipedal lifeforms, nobody was too keen in attempting to dislodge them.
One of the more foolhardy guys did try poking one of the with a broom handle but its counterattack was so intimidating we decided that discretion was the better part of valour.
The Thing To Come Back With
I was late to a class in TAFE and usually they don't let you in if you're more than 15 minutes. I had a drs note so I thought I'd try anyway coz more than one missed class and you fail.
Anyway the teacher asks why I'm so special to be allowed in when I was late, giving me real attitude, that she's not going to pander to my irresponsibility and detract from those who could be bothered to attend on time.
I was feeling kinda embarrassed and kind annoyed so I replied " sorry my daughters oncology appointment ran late but her specialist wrote me a note "
She just kinda stared at me and told me to sit down.
The Best Note Ever
I taught in a rural school with a very good shop class. I had a kid (super nice, talented kid I liked a lot) run late into choir covered head to toe with grease with a completely frantic expression on his face. He handed me an equally greasy note that said:
Please excuse _____ from class. He's helping me put together a bus we need to run in 45 minutes.
I think I kept the note but I haven't seen it in a long time.
I'm not a teacher but when I was in high school a kid in my class got bit by a rabid beaver and he missed volleyball tryouts. We had class together and the teacher was the coach. Obviously the coach didn't believe him at first but saw the massive bruise from the bite/treatment. To be fair I wouldn't have believed that excuse either had I not seen the mark.
How To Save A Life
I was the student in question. I was once late by about 20 minutes to class. My teacher thought it odd as I am never late. I said "sorry, my friend had a seizure" that friends teacher even gave me a pass. They checked with that teacher. 100% true. I helped my friend who had a seizure in class. She didn't want to go to home and I thought she knew better as it was her body and her condition. She was fine through out the day. I would later marry her friend who also has epilepsy. I am also trained to assist with 5 different types of seizures.
Ouchy Ouchy Ouchy
Student not teacher, college math class. I'd burned the heck out of my hand and was taking hydrocodone for the pain. I could take 3 and still function, but that morning in my sleep addled state I'd taken 3 as I was getting ready, forgot, and took 3 more as I was running out the door. Realized what I'd done about 10 seconds later, thought "oh no," and went to class.
I had a good relationship with the teacher and she knew about the hand already, so when I got to class I just told her what happened, and that I felt fine now, but that I didn't know what was gonna happen. She just told me "sit in the back, if the formulas I'm writing start melting off the board, just get up and go home."
I left 15 minutes later.
Forgot new school started at 7 am and showed up for an 8 am start time instead. It was November. Also it was me. The teacher. I showed up an hour late to a class of seventh graders because of a brain fart.
Oh Just A Normal Toe-Breaking
"Hey, sorry I'm late, I broke my toe on the way here! I set it, I'm good."
It happened. She set it, went through class, and went home.
Turned out she broke bones every week or so due to genetics, but boy did it scare me the first two times!
Just Can't Moooooooove
My math teacher said the best excuse he ever got for a student not getting homework finished was that there was a cow in her pool.
My understanding was that it was a family effort to get the cow out, and that the cow was in danger, and it was a lengthy process. I'm not entirely sure what went down, and I am still wondering if there was a fence around the pool...and if so what kind of Houdini bovine stuff went down.
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Everyone has a breaking point.
Even the person who seems to be the calmest has that moment when their patience has run thin, and all it takes is a little more prodding and antagonizing to set them off.
Curious to hear examples of when strangers online were surprised by what they witnessed, Redditor Specktakles88 asked:
"Have you ever seen a normally calm person completely lose their sh*t? What happened?"
A triggering moment unleashed wild behavior.
The Dude Who Had It Coming
"I was chilling at a friend’s house as a kid. His dad was the chillest, nicest guy. That day, my friend’s mom (also super nice) was across the street talking to the neighbor about something that I can no longer recall. Neighbor was one of those guys who never respected common etiquette: music blaring, parking his sh**ty boat in front of other people’s house, cars parked on the lawn. The neighbor started screaming at the mom and we all went out on the stoop to see what was happening. As soon as we got outside, the guy called my friend’s mom a c*nt. Well, my friend’s dad heard that and went full Hulk mode. He ran SCREAMING across the street and just f'king decked the guy and crouched over him shouting warnings and threats. Took a while for his wife to calm him down. I don’t think any of them had ever seen him react to something in that way, maybe even the dad himself."
"I worked as a line cook with a chef who I became really good friends with. Really chill dude, easy going, and actually super fun to cook with. He taught me most of what I know about cooking and I owe him a lot for my success. Never really saw him get mad until one day, we were getting slammed during busy night and one of the servers said something that really ticked him off, not sure if I ever heard what it was, but next thing I knew he had sent the deep fryer basket flying at Mach 1 across the kitchen, nearly missing the dish kid and shattering a light bulb. He stormed off and 5 minutes later after a smoke break, came back and casually continued cooking as if nothing had happened."
"He apologized about it the next day and we never talked about it again. The restaurant industry is a stressful place."
Thing About Grandpa
"When I was in my late teens I was financially irresponsible and borrowed money from my grandparents to move out of my mom's house. We made a plan on how I would pay it back in installments and I only missed two payments, with each one I called my granddad and asked if it was okay. He was always cool about it. One day I got a call from him and he was LIVID. Screaming at me on the phone and I could hear my grandmother crying in the background. He was the angriest I’ve ever heard anyone in my life and I was terrified. He wanted to know why I hadn’t made the payment that month, but I was sure I had. It turns out I had accidentally set the automated payment to be drawn from the wrong account and it hadn’t done it. It was an honest mistake on my part, and I explained that to him. I transferred the money immediately and he instantly calmed down. I later found out he had become an alcoholic after he quit smoking, and he would talk to my grandmother like that regularly when no one was around."
Awakening The Beast
"This is not my story but my dads. Growing up his best friend Leif was a quiet, shy guy that was a bit socially awkward. In school he wasn't physically bullied but this one kid teased him constantly. This would have been late 50's, early 60's so kids were expected to just tough it out. My dad would usually confront the kid but one day a girl runs up to him and says that Leif and the kid are fighting."
"My dad runs over to save Leif but when he breaks through the circle he finds the bully flat on his back, Leif sitting on his chest, holding him by the ears and smashing his head into the pavement over and over. My dad tackles him, wrestles him to the ground and screams at him, asking what he's doing. The thing that stayed with me from that story was how he described it, 'it was like there was nothing in there, I felt like I could see the back of his skull through his eyes.'"
"Luckily they were kids so the damage was serious but limited, the bully escaped with stitches and a concussion and Leif had to talk to the school psychologist. My dad and Leif stayed best friends and when I met him as an adult he was still quiet but less shy and awkward."
Work-related stresses really brought out the fury in these people.
"I had a friend who was in his 60's, a functioning alcoholic but he was the most calm and composed guy I have ever known. He never used to raise his voice or swear. Everything was done with meticulous precision."
"He once explained to me that if you use vulgar language and shout all the time, then you will have nowhere to go when you really do get angry."
"I had worked with him for about 3 years, never heard him raise his voice or swear before. The week before he had been shafted on his pay and the manager promised to get it sorted by Friday. Friday rolled around and it had not been sorted. So when my friend walked up to the manager in the open office and declared loudly 'Where the f'k is my money? You promised this would be resolved.' The whole office went silent and the look of dread on the manager's face was haunting. The money was in his account by the end of the day."
"That was him losing his sh*t."
"I used to see this woman in my building every day. Very friendly. We always checked on each other’s lives. We had lunch a few times over the years. It was friendly to a certain degree. A couple years passed. She was much older than me. One day, riding the elevator, she told me that she was saying goodbye. I said I was sorry to see her go and asked why. She said she was retiring that day. I asked if her office was throwing a party or if she was celebrated. She turned to me and her face contorted into an image of rage. She clenched her teeth and said she didn’t tell anyone in her office, including her bosses. She only told the HR person last week. This was her last day and she was never returning to see or talk to anyone in her office again."
The Gentle Giant
"I used to do seasonal work sorting tax returns. Like, 500 people in a warehouse size room sorting through returns, stacking them in boxes, etc. This one guy on my team, huge dude, a gentle giant, really nice. Suddenly one day he smashes the table he's working at, then flips a big box full of paperwork. It flew over my head and twenty feet away. He threw the table out of his way them stormed out. Turns out he was getting his paycheck garnished for something or other."
Rambunctious behavior really set these people off, but it also restored peace.
The Teacher Who Had Enough
"One of my teachers in high school was THE calmest dude. Never yelled, never told kids off, would just laugh and smile and wait for us all to calm down and then continue with his teaching. One day we must have been particularly rowdy and we weren’t calming down like we usually did. He couldn’t get a word in edge ways. I could see him getting increasingly frustrated and eventually he just bellowed SHUUUUTTT UPPPPP And the entire class was shocked into silence. He never had to do it again lmao"
Too Angry To Hold A Knife
"It takes a lot to make my mom yell. On the rare occasion she did yell, it still felt like she had self control. Like she yelled on purpose, because there was a reason to yell (like she needed to be that loud for us to hear us, or one of the kids needed to learn to never run into traffic again.)"
"But one morning when we were teenagers, my brother was being really, really difficult."
"And my very sweet, soft-spoken mother yelled 'GOD DAMN IT SHAWN' and threw a butter knife down so hard it stuck, 1/4 inch deep, in oak hardwood floor. Against the grain. I can still hear the noise it made."
"We were all very, very well behaved for the rest of the day."
"I did eventually ask my mom why she did that. Her explanation was that she felt she was too angry to hold a knife, even a butter knife, and was trying to get it out of her hand before she did something stupid."
Granny's Mean Streak
"Man my grandma has a similar thing. This boy was a couple years older than she was and he was constantly picking on her. He's riding his bike home from school one day and he rides past her and he's shouting at her and she knocks him right off his bike and beat the sh*t out of him. My sweet lil granny. The neighbor that saw it said he was proud as sh*t that she beat the snot out of this shitty kid lol. I think it was the start of my grandma's bad b*tch streak because not much later, she started street racing. She was allegedly a sweet little girl, but man I think she must have had a mean streak in her."
"Jerry Springer Christmas"
"My mom. We had what we now refer to as the 'Jerry Springer Christmas' when I was 7 or so. One aunt hated her sister in law and started screaming at her, then shoving started, husband's got involved, then it just continued to devolve from there. My mom went straight into mediator mode and tried to calm everyone down but it wasn't working. She decided to come check on us kids and found my cousin and me holding each other and sobbing because we were scared. The next thing I hear is her scary mom voice screaming over everyone 'listen here you motherf'kers. My kid is in there crying on Christmas because her family can't keep their sh*t together for one the one day a year we all see each other. You're gonna march your a**es into that room single file and apologize to each kid individually, then you're going to shut the hell up until I get them out of here. We're going to go find look at lights and this family better be the picture of goddam Christmas joy by the time we get back.' My mom never really cussed in front of me and only ever used gd when things were really bad. That side of the family didn't celebrate Christmas for a few years after that."
"Edit: thank you for the awards and kind words! Ma is tickled pink at all of the comments about how wonderful she is. I tell her every day how lucky I am to have her."
Rage is something that exists in all of us.
Some people are good at letting small things run off their back, while others have no patience for the smallest of grievances.
The lesson to be learned here is, never underestimate the calmest people. They might be the ones to really look out for. You don't want to be the reason for them to break their patience streak and unleash all of their built-up fury on you.
Be kind to others, and just don't be a prick.
Songwriters base many of their songs on love because the relatable emotion makes it easier for artists to connect with their audiences.
Whether that applies or doesn't apply in our own lives, we listen to the songs conveying these experiences to take us back so we may relive these affirmative moments from the past.
Curious to hear what's on the moody playlist of strangers online, Redditor udontknowmegurl asked:
"What is the saddest song you've ever heard?"
These iconic artists really touched the hearts of many people through their music.
Dolly's Love Anthem
"I will Always Love You by Dolly Parton, you can really tell she f'king lived that song."
When Mom Went To Heaven
"The night my mama died, my dad sang Elvis' Can't Help Falling in Love to her in the back seat of the car on the way to the ER. She died of fully metastitized pancreatic cancer 18 days after diagnosis."
It Gets Deeper With Age
“'Landslide' by Fleetwood Mac I find that the older I get, the more meaning this song has."
Leave it to Disney to have us reaching for the tissue box.
"That song from UP makes me cry every time and it doesn’t even have lyrics."
When She Loved Me
"That one Jesse sings in Toy Story 2"
And let's not forget these emotional tunes that resonated with many Redditors.
Irish Folk Song
"‘Danny boy’ at a friends funeral 10 years ago. He, his sister and his gf all passed away in a house fire all in their early 20s. It was an Irish wake and the mix of grief and whiskey joy was something else."
When Love Moves On
"Into Dust by Mazzy Star gets me."
When You Want To "Disappear"
"How to disappear completely by Radiohead. Haunting instrumental, depression dripping through everyline of lyrics 'im not here, this isnt happening.'"
Ray Of Light In The Darkness
"You Are My Sunshine"
"Everything but the chorus is heartbreaking. Few people know anything but the chorus though."
From A Powerful Album
"Sylvia - The Antlers"
"Actually that whole album, Hospice, breaks me but this song in particular just leaves me in a mess every time."
When Love Fades
"The Night We Met by Lord Huron."
"No matter where I am, if I’m happy, who I’m with, etc. I’ll bawl my eyes out if that song plays. It’s so painful and true because one day they’re there and they’re your everything and then they start slipping until they’re gone and you wished you could go back to before you met them so you wouldn’t have to go through the pain of losing them. Just the lyrics 'I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you' hit this. People falling out of love in relationships, growing apart with friends, family members passing, etc. is what this hits for me and it hits hard."
One of the saddest songs I've heard is not connected to a personal experience, but the story being told is heartbreaking.
It's called "The Queen and the Soldier" by Suzanne Vega. The song is basically about a lonely, repressed virgin queen who keeps her heart closely guarded.
When a soldier enters her domain and challenges her internalized emotions, it's too much for her and has the soldier executed.
The song has continued haunting me ever since I first heard it.
An almost guaranteed phase of entering adulthood is unintentionally making it clear how much older you are than some present company.
This could be by the way you dress, talking about seeing a movie in its initial release when the person you're talking to wasn't born yet, or more than likely, by the way you talk.
When you say a slang term or phrase which was common place when you were a child, but today would likely be met by looks of confusion, or even disgust, should you use a term which is not only outdated but now considered offensive.
But then, shaking these old fashioned, or just plain old, terms and phrases might be a difficult task, so engrained are they in our vocabulary.
Redditor InfiniteDrafts was curious to hear what phrases people continue to use, despite knowing how quickly it will date them, leading them to ask:
What slang do you use regularly that is totally outdated?
Maybe rethink alternative words for "awesome"...
"I called a taco 'the Shizznit' a few days ago."
"I instantly felt 90 years old."- fattydad075
Not as "radical" as it once was...
"Righteous and radical."- king_7__Colors Flashing GIFGiphy
Language is eternal!
"None of MY slang is outdated, it's today's youth that are wrong!"- hotasphalt
How long have you got?
"I say things are the bees knees on the regular."
"Is 'on the regular' dated?"
"I also call the ocean 'the drink' for whatever reason."
"Picked that up at some point."- Paradigm6790
"This sub is making me extremely paranoid about my words now bc I say pretty much all of these words still."- jjjjjjj30season 10 friends GIFGiphy
Charming once, vulgar now...
"HAULIN’ A**."- f*ck_korean_air
Nah, come closer.
"Far out."- PaulClifford
A bit off
"Right on."- bombaderogato
Does anyone still even eat popsicles?
"When I'm ready to leave I say 'Let's blow this Popsicle stand."
"To be honest I'm not even sure what a posicle stand is."- B-Sdetector69Popsicle Freezer Pop GIFGiphy
It's hard not to feel self conscious around the younger generations who might laugh at your dated vocabulary.
But one should just remember, in 10 years or so, they'll likely find themselves in the exact same position.
And won't feel as "groovy" as they once did.
Who doesn't love a theme party?
When you not only get to dress up in something completely over the top, but also get to bear witness to everyone else's zany outfits in-keeping with the party's theme.
Be it Regency era, glam rock, or fairy tale villains.
Or what if the challenge is just to be blatantly inappropriate?
"You are going to a party. The theme is dress inappropriately. Who or what do you dress as?"
And not on your foot, one imagines...
"Nothing but a tube sock."- Sanguiniutron
"Dress normally, because if the theme is to dress inappropriately, and you dress appropriately, technically you're the one being inappropriate for the occasion."- GoAwayImHereForMemes
"I've actually been in a completely opposite situation."
"Was invited to a art exhibition, came in well dressed. It was basically porn but the person I went with forgot to mention that."
"I felt very malplace standing around people wearing next to nothing."
"So I would probably do that again because what's more inappropriate than being appropriate at an inappropriate event?"- cccantyousee
"I mean, if dressing inappropriately is the appropriate attire, then dressing appropriately would be inappropriate for the party, thus, making it appropriate."
"Now that I think about it, it's an unsolvable paradox."
"You could never appropriately dress inappropriately."- MUNKIESSGetting Ready Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy
It's all in the details
"With the pants cuffs rolled up, wearing tevas with gym socks."- BitPoet
And they say you can only wear it once...
"Bridal gown."- fromhelley
Depends on your surroundings...
"Imma wear a parka."
"In South Texas."
"In August."- Ahshalon_TeniskParka GIF by moodmanGiphy
The question is, what aren't you wearing...
"Nothing I'd just show up in lingerie."- cloboehobo
Wrong on so many levels...
"A two sizes to small wrestling singlet, and crocs."- thirdtimer_2020I Like Swimsuit GIF by MOODMANGiphy
There's little more fun than facing the challenge of dressing to impress.
Or, in this instance, un-dressing to impress.
And if you are greeted by a round of shocked expressions, you know your choice of outfit was a success.