Teachers Share The Best Excuses They've Ever Gotten About Late Assignments That Were Actually True
True story. I swear.
I really hope that educators keep journals. The stories that are woven for them on the daily about why students are tardy or why assignments are late have got to be epic. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, and what a mind some of us have when trying to cover our tracks. If only we could apply our creative know how to completing work and not avoiding it.... especially when we're younger. Teachers have got to have a "best of" compilation for student excuses.
Redditor u/imtroppocool wanted teachers to share with us some tales about when they believed students were trying to bamboozle them, when in fact bamboozling may not have been occurring, by asking.... Teachers of reddit, what was the best excuse for being late that turned out to be true?
Hard-Core.
GiphyHad a student ask to leave class once the test was finished because his lung had collapsed a couple days earlier and he was still recovering. He then pulled up his shirt to show me the valve they had inserted.
I told him he didn't have to take the test, but he had already studied for it and wanted to get it over with.
I also had a student ask to leave after the test because her husband had died the previous day and she had to make arrangements. Insisted on taking the test.
My students are hard-core.
Just This Time.
Student at Uni. Was late for an 8am because the night before I slept in the hallway of one of our class buildings doing homework... (we had sofas and desks around there so it was a nice and quiet place to study, also open 24/7).
Woke up around 8:30 and ran to my class which was one floor above the one I was.
The professor excused me and told me I could skip his class because they saw me sleeping there and said something on the lines of "at least you were doing your assignments so I'll let you go this time."
Squirrel Fashion.
I was a teacher (college) but my students were mostly good. Oddest excuse was someone was late to lab and normally if you missed the opening slides/presentation detailing today's experiment you could not take the class that day. This was as much a safety concern as anything else. Once a student burst into the room just as I was finishing the slides so they were technically okay.
When prompted for a reason they said they had lost track of time squirrel fishing. Considering they still had the stick, string, and nuts in hand I let them go.
Squirrel fishing is common on our campus as a form of stress relief; I have done it a few times as well. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrel_fishing
IKEA All the Way....
Not me but my program coordinator told the story at orientation. Girl was a really good student. Always on time, studies like crazy, good grades. Overall close to perfect student. Pass or fail exam comes and she's a no show. They call her, text her, email her.
3 hours after the exam starts she walks in with an IKEA catalogue and the name and phone number of the manager written on it. She had been stuck inside of a broken down elevator at IKEA. She had no cell service in the elevator, so she couldn't call and explain. They let her start the exam in a separate room.
Epic Passes....
GiphyI have two.
- A soldier in an online class, he apologized for being late for turning in a paper. His reason, he was in a firefight the previous night. That was excused promptly.
- A student turned in a paper that was singed around the edges. His claim was he and his girl were getting romantic, and a candle lit his drapes on fire and I guess he pretty much burned his whole side of the house down. Verified the story with news that night. SquareDetective
A Few Tales....
Two different students in the same class.
A girl who came to school at lunchtime told me that she had spent the night at her grandparents in another city, and they woke up early in the morning as the house was ablaze.
Yup, could confirm her story online.
The house wasn't too badly damaged and everyone was OK, thankfully.
A guy who the week prior blamed a dryer for his tardiness, claimed that he only had one pair of pants. When he woke up in the morning his pants was wet, and he couldn't walk around with a soggy bottom, so he threw the pants in the dryer and waltzed off to do other stuff.
An hour later he took the pants out of the dryer, only to discover that he had forgotten to turn it on, and, well, he had to spend another hour to dry the pants.
His mom told me that as he had decided to switch to a specific style he had donated almost all his clothes. He actually only had one pair of pants.
Coronation Street Delay
My dad was a teacher in a school that is also used for filming a British TV soap opera. He would regularly be told that students were late due to having to do several takes (they would just walk around in the background of scenes). A few weeks later you'd see them on the TV. Coronation Street - the School is called Weatherfield High in the show, but when dad was there it was called Hope High School in reality.
Crash....
Tiniest, quietest girl in the whole school walks in late, gets harshly questioned by the teacher on what her excuse was.
"I'm sorry, I got hit by a car."
She was 5 minutes late. She then proceeded to ask for permission to go to the infirmary. Her whole left side was covered in scratches and scrapes, but the door was on the right of the teacher's desk, so it wasn't immediately apparent.
"you poor girl"
I had a teacher who made us just write in a book why we were late, so we could quietly slip in and sit down without disturbing others. I simply wrote "work". She basically cornered me after, and half jokingly half serious starting drilling asking why I was so special my bosses needed me and she needs more info and omg don't they realize education was important?
So, with my head down unable to meet her gaze, I start to explain in horse breeding when you have high end horses you can collect their semen and just ship it all over. At the time they needed an extra hand and I was the only other employee comfortable working with their stallion. I went into great detail in all that is involved in the process.
She gave me a hug, said "you poor girl" and said I'm allowed to simply write "work" from now on if it happens again. (for the record, at that time I was simply the person holding the stallions lead rope and keeping him in control, not the one doing the nitty gritty stuff.)
Through the Window....
GiphyI was already running late and was hit by a car outside my class. The professor saw it through the window. I still went to class and she was cool about it, since I was hit by a car.
I Gored Myself
This might be the opposite of the prompt but once a professor canceled class 5 minutes before it started because she "found a chicken in her yard" ...? I gave her a real rough review when the time came.
Also i once had to turn in a graphic design final project a day late because I cut off my thumb with an x-acto blade. The professor was cool with it... I sent him photo evidence. 😂
Thanks Teach!
An awesome teacher of mine let me into an SAT prep class late. When I told her that my apartment was robbed she was in awe. We were new immigrants and didn't have much, no Tv, no computers, just beds and some clothing, but my alarm clock was stolen (silly really!). She brought me an alarm on Monday with some clothes too.
Just Followin' Traffic Laws
Once my friend and I were late to a 7:45 am class, so we decided to stop at the stop sign (we were walking). When we got to class and the teacher asked why we were late, we told her we had to stop at the stop sign while walking. She let it slide for comedy's sake.
Humanity Made Me Late
In high school my chemistry teacher was 20 minutes late to first period. Another science teacher was getting class started when my teacher burst through the door holding a little gift bag. He had found a baby bird on his way to the school and took the time to make it a little nest in the bag and go buy food. The rest of class was spent caring for the little guy. He was one of my favorite teachers ever.
(Once he pulled the safety shower thing to show how it works and it wouldn't turn off. He flooded the classroom below us)
Gobble Gobble
During my junior year of high school I was late to my first hour because my mom, who drove me to school every morning, had to stop the car on the side of the road to watch a family of wild turkeys for over 10 minutes.
Not The Most Efficient Use Of A Helicopter
In the 90's some dude thought to pick up his buddy from the train station on his helicopter, in Braga Portugal. While lifting off he hit the power lines and the helicopter fell on the motorcycle park near the station. No one got seriously hurt except the helicopter and a few bikes. Student of mine arrived late and his excuse was that an helicopter had crashed on his motorcycle so he had to walk. Did not believe him until I saw the news that night.
A Good, Long Nap
I'm a teacher now so this kinda counts, in high school once I went in like 2 hours before school started to finish up a presentation in the library, it only took me like an hour so I decided to go rest in my car till school started, woke up halfway through third period in my car and didn't turn my work in till the next day cause I slept through class.
Streetlights, People
I'm a student, and this incident happened... I think either first or second grade, either way I was probably right.
So, every morning my dad or mom would drop me off at the bus stop, and go do their own stuff, because, y'know, the bus always came. On this particular day, me and all the other kids in our neighborhood just sorta... Stood there for a while. It's getting late, and finally the bus arrives.
We're all freaked out that the bus was late, but hey, we can still make it to school on time, right? Wrong! The bus driver had a sub that day, one who had just moved to our city, and we were like the fifth stop.
Cue a bus full of elementary school kids who have never paid attention to a stop light trying their god damn best to guide a bus driver to the other stops, all while the clock keeps ticking on.
Eventually, the sub had to call our principal or something, in order to explain how the actual f*ck this happened, and another driver picked up the rest of kids while we finally got to school.
I really should've paid more attention to street signs, clearly.
Eyerolls Ain't The Way
I once showed up 30 minutes late to a college class and the teacher just rolled her eyes at me. I looked her in the eye and said "sorry I'm late. somebody died on my train." To be clear, I said this due to the New York MTA's use of the term 'sick passenger', which generally means someone who is unresponsive or possibly dead. In hindsight, the person might not have died, but it was still something that was entirely out of my control that prevented me from being on time to class.
A Classic Excuse With A Twist
Not a teacher but i walked in with a baggy of my homework that my puppy chewed up, teacher thought i was joking when i said my dog ate my homework, jokes on her i fed it to my dog so i wouldn't have to do it.
Caffeine And We'll Call It Even
I taught a grade 12 health class. The kids were 18 and I was 23. Two students were constantly coming in late first thing in the morning. Finally one day I asked them to come to my desk for a chat. I said to the two boys you are always late for class can you please explain why. They said we get breakfast in the McDonalds drive thru. I was like how about you guys get me a coffee the odd time and I won't mark you late..🤷🏼♀️🙃
I Guess I'm Three Dogs Now?
My 3 dogs ate the book I needed for about 20 different assignments. I had to put the chewed-up remains in a bag and take it to my teacher, and they gave me an F for all the assignments because they thought I had done it myself to get out of schoolwork. Yep, this dum@ss thought I chewed up a whole 300 or 400 page book all by myself. That book was bigger than my head and it was a hardcover book, explain to me how this idiot thought I thoroughly chewed an entire book by myself in less than 12 hours (I had used the book in their class for tutoring the night before and they were my 1st class in the morning).
Slip N Slide
Not a teacher, but the student. My Spanish teacher in high school asked me why I was late. I said my bus hit my science teacher's garage. The whole class started laughing their a**es off. My teacher had to explain I was telling the truth. They were friends and he already knew. The house was at the bottom of a hill on a gravel road. The road was pure ice and the bus couldn't stop
Adding Insult To Injury
I had to tell my math teacher I was late because the history teacher from the previous class wanted to lecture me after a student kicked me in the stomach.
The Math teacher had this look on her face that clearly showed she was having a hard time making sense of what I just said. She asked me what I did.
I told her that I have up to three Elizabeth's in each of my classes (Math had two). Almost every single one wanted to be called Lizze, Or Liz, or Beth. except one, and she was in my history class. I kept calling her by one of the other nicknames by accident, when she just wanted to be called Elizabeth. Except, this was the second to last class, and I was used to using one of the other variations. I kept slipping and called her by one of the nicknames, apologizing each time, and fixing my mistake.
Apparently, she got tired of it, and kicked me.
I got a 10 minute lecture about name calling. Elizabeth was just told "you know better than to kick someone." And we were let go. And yes, the Math teacher had to check this out to make sure it was true. And yes, I had a bruise on my stomach.
When The Pickings Are Slim
I went to high school in a small rural town. The main road leading to this town is a 2 lane highway with steep hills/curves. One morning there was some construction/accident causing major traffic and a detour. When we/parents called the school to inform them they already knew. A large group of students were all late by various times and didn't need proof.
The One Thing We Hope Never To Hear
Unbelievably sad, but "my mum died last night".
All the rest of the family lived far away, so dad brought the kids to school so someone could take care of them while he was making arrangements and until the grandparents could get a flight that afternoon. Asked the boy if he wanted to go to the counsellor, but he said he'd rather be with his friends.
He (and his siblings) were understandably absent the remaining two weeks of term.
I've actually had this excuse a second time (and it was true then also), but it was from a boy who was raised by foster parents from birth.
His birth mum had overdosed the day before and they kept him home to talk about it. He didn't care (he'd seen her maybe 5 times in 12 years) and was indeed happy because it meant that his foster parents could legally adopt him as his birth mum wouldn't sign the paperwork (she didn't know/wouldn't say who his biological father was).
This Is A Mood
Not my story, but a friend's. She said she was walking to school when she was in 1st grade and stopped to pet a cat. Well, she lost track of time and ended up getting counted absent. The office called her mother to ask why she wasn't at school, and of course everyone freaked out. They found her still sitting there with the cat.
Another Reason To Stop Eating Chik-Fil-A
This was me as a student, and resulted in both being late and leaving early. I have been using Invisalign, clear plastic retainers for those who don't know. The left side of my bottom teeth weren't moving the way the Orthodontist wanted them too, so they had to schedule an appointment to add three metal brackets and a short wire on my teeth to get that part of my mouth to move. My mother then took me to get Chik-fil-A after my appointment before heading to my school. While eating nuggets, the middle bracket came loose and began spinning around on the wire and between the other two remaining brackets. I tell my mother this, and she says we'll go back after school to replace it.
Around half an hour, I am in my Spanish class when another bracket comes out. I leave to tell my mother (she worked at the school), and she decided it might be more ideal to leave after Spanish, as the wire could begin poking at my gums and that wouldn't be good.
The Whole School Was Late
A couple years back there were roadworks all along the main road of our town, because of the extreme amount of traffic at 7:00/8:00 in the morning it all went very slowly.
But because everyone was stuck in the same traffic our whole school (teachers included) would all arrive an hour late to start the day because of the holdup.
One Way To Feel Like The New Kid
My car died in the middle of the packed college parking lot on the very first morning of classes, on my very first day of college. It died right in the middle of the lane so no cars could get around me. People were honking. Cars were having to back up one at a time to get out of the lane. I was extremely shy and pretty much begged for death at that point. I had to call my dad to come help me. Despite being able to SEE my class from my stranded car, I ended up being 30 mins late because I couldn't abandon it in the middle of the road.
Lack Of Money And Convenience
Idk if this counts, but one time, in the first week of the semester, I was over thirty minutes late to a 2 hour class because I legitimately couldn't find a parking spot! Very frustrating! Finally found one all the way across campus (had to spot someone walking to their car and ask if I could follow them and take their spot). The parking cost for the semester wasn't cheap either! Ugh
Sitcom Style Physical Comedy
Not a teacher but a student in hs. I was running late for school and was wearing heels and a dress for an academic challenge meet after school. I ran outside into the wet grass and then realized I forgot something inside. After grabbing whatever I left inside I ran back down the stairs and my wet heels slipped on the stairs. I managed to fall (literally) head over heels and my heel landed in the dry wall. At the time I did the announcements at school and had a student internship first block. I messaged my teacher with a picture of my bruised eye. The excuse seemed to work pretty well.
Vista Was A Nightmare
As a teaching assistant: 1) Student was late getting their assignments in, told us they had Lupus and had been in the hospital. Story checked out. 2) Football player repeating the class came in, looked like he expected to get chewed out and did by the head teacher. His excuse? His parents had thrown it out. He brought it in a couple days later, stained by food and liquids. They apparently told him it was worthless to try since he's never amount to anything and threw out all his school papers. He was accepted to college with our lunch timing tutoring.
Personally: my midterm college paper was due that morning and, within an hour of class, discovered I could no longer log in to my laptop to print it. Turned out my Windows Vista updated the night before and locked me out. Refused to accept my password. My teacher took one look at my laptop, patted my shoulder, and told me he'd give me an extra week because he also hated Vista with a heated passion. Took my sister and I a couple days but we managed to retrieve my paper from a backup, then upgraded my laptop to Win7.
When You Have Less Faith In Colleagues Than In Students
Fixing another teacher's car. I thought he was trying to pull a fast one but he was all smeared with brake dust/grease, and once I met the teacher he helped, I realized she would be stupid enough to drive 10 minutes with the kind of car problem he said she had.
The Professors Sympathize
I was a student at the time.
At my attending school, we had "Duke Exams". This was the title for an exam from Dr. Duke, a history teacher. She gave 15 "3 words prompts" and 5 questions for every exam.
The parameters for both of these? Write everything you know/remember from class.
I stayed in a Duke Exam for five hours, once. I was excused from all of my classes for that day because I told each professor that morning I had a Duke Exam.
The Teacher Probably Knew
I was smoking in my friends car before school. I left my stuff including my weed and my school books in my car. When it was time to go to school, I went to my car and realized I locked my keys in with everything else so simply calling my parents or AAA was not an option. I go to first period high af and my teacher asks why I'm late and why I have nothing with me so I tell her I locked my keys in my car. Fast forward to lunch period and I return to the car with some of my friends to somehow get myself back... a friend ended up smashing my entire back window. I was of course late to my next class and I had to explain the whole story (minus the weed) Teacher called me a dumb@$$.
What To Do When You Simply See "Explosive Diarrhea"
I have a Tardy Documentation Ledger which students are compelled to sign in when they are late. They can write a reason if they want (they are almost always tardy unless they have a pass). Most of the excuses are simply confessions, like "Walking slowly," or "talking to friends in the hallway." Occasionally I get an excuse that is more detailed, like "Explosive diarrhea," or "I got into a car accident today and the guy was a real jerk and he called the cops and I got mad and smashed my windshield and my sister almost got into a fight with the guy and the cop wrote me the ticked and my dad was so pissed and he said it will lose my car and my phone."
They're Gonna Win!
"We had a brainwave on how to build a killer robot, and lost track of time."
I checked. Daaaang, my students have some cool hobbies!
Amateur Robot Wars
Pet...Raccoon?
I'm not a teacher, but when I was 14 I helped my mom teach summer school for 2nd graders the whole summer. This one kid didn't come to school one day, and when they came back the next day they said "oh, I needed to take my raccoon to the vet so I could get it neutered." I thought the kid was just lying and they didn't feel like coming. The next day this kid brings in a picture of them, gleefully holding a little raccoon. I still didn't believe it until their dad came to pick them up a few days later and guess what's poking it's head out the car window? A raccoon.
We Love Random Acts Of Imperialism
I went to a public high school on the Air Force Academy base, so if you lived off base, you had to stop and show your ID at the gate. One morning my senior year, I happened to get selected for a random car search - they had me pull off to the side of the gate and stand there for about half an hour as they looked under my hood and in my trunk and everything. So when I finally get to English class, I explain to my teacher what happened.... luckily my classmates could vouch for seeing me as they drove by
Misogyny At Its Finest
Not a teacher nor the student, but my great grandmother had a good one. Her car broke down and she had to fix it. Not so strange now, but the teacher had a hard time believing a woman could fix a car! It was the 30s after all. Well she lived on a farm and they only had girls so they all had to learn to fix things, great great grandpa confirmed. (Or so I was told)
It's Gettin' Hot In Herrre
Not a teacher, but my classmate was 30 minutes late for our Croatian language class this year. When our Headroom teacher asked him why he was late he told him that his house was on fire. He started laughing. It turned out to be true. His chimney and a part of his roof indeed was on fire.
Injuries Get You Every Time
In kindergarten, I tumbled down one of those twirly slides and bruised my nose, sprained my ankle, cut my lip open, and cut open the inside of my ear. Thinking back, I must have looked so bad@ss with blood pouring out of one ear and dripping from my mouth, a bruise on my nose which was also bleeding, and with a black eye from hitting it on the slide. My friend just walked me to the bathroom where I cleaned myself up (that's what I get for having a family full of nurses) and then walked me to get an ice pack for my ankle. I just set my foot up on the table and took my quiz.
There was also a time just before quarantine when I slipped off my skateboard (I don't always get a ride to school and it's only a twenty minute walk) and a whole chunk of the skin on my knee came off as i slid across the sidewalk. I always carry a first aid kit (again-family of nurses) and just straight up used a water fountain to rinse it off and then wrapped it and carried my board the rest of the way.
No Tone For The Stone
When I was in highschool I once had a small kidney stone which caused me to miss about a week of school. On my first day back, one of my teachers asked me in a condescending tone in the middle of the class where I was that whole week, as if I had skipped school to go on a tropical vacation. I answered that I had a kidney stone and her tone instantly disappeared.
The Most Stressful Time Of Your Life
I was absolutely stressing out my senior year of college, so much so that I went to counseling at the local mental health clinic. I lived at home during college, but I was trying to conceal the fact that I was going to a mental health clinic from my parents. This was the '80's and the stigma associated with mental health issues was way worse than it is now. So one day, I was allegedly leaving home early to study before class when I was really going to counseling about a mile or two in the wrong direction. After my counseling session, I had to move pretty damn fast to get to my college campus. I got to the classroom just as the teacher was pulling the door shut, but she saw that I was running to make it, so she just smiled at me and let me in.
Zero Coordination
Am a student. Was put in ESE in 4th grade because Florida schools are terrible at handling children when their parents refuse to drug them out of their minds. Got partially out of it in middle school, but wasn't fully mainstreamed until 8th grade because the school didn't want to give up their big fat paycheck from having one more ESE kid.
There was one class in 7th grade I showed up to an hour late every day. Turns out ESE classes follow a different schedule than normal classes, so my ESE English overlapped my Mainstream Social Studies by an entire hour. It got to the point where my SS teacher would send me to the office the moment I walked into her class. I think that was what finally got me out.
(The specific brand of ESE was called "Emotionally Handicapped." Feel free to look up how horrific it is.)
Kabloom!
The funniest - "The bathroom sink exploded on me." Found out later that day that the pipe in the student bathroom actually did burst as my student was washing his hands.
The grossest - "The Police Horse diarrhead on me" They police officer brought the horse by the high school for part of some assembly. The students had like 20 minutes to see the horse afterwards if they wanted to. The horse apparently was having a bad stomach day...
The Most Unforgettable - "I was waiting for the pregnancy test to confirm I'm pregnant" I literally stared at her open mouthed for like 10 seconds before I thought of anything to say. She was so upbeat about it as well. (This was like a few days before her graduation so I'm not actually sure what happened with it all)
A Kebabster's Note
A kid said he was eating a kebab at a store, teacher didn't believed him and he showed him a paper from the kebab man confirming what he was saying.
Lines Don't Work When It's True
Not a teacher, but a classmate with limited english was once made to write lines to the effect of "I will not lie about crosses falling from the sky to excuse my tardiness." The teacher later had to apologise to the boy when the newspapers reported that the giant cross on the town clock tower had come off due to rust the morning before.
Always remember that one.
I Forgot My Clothes
I worked in the main office at a school and had TEACHERS come in late. The usual excuses: couldn't find my keys, traffic jam, kids sick and needed to get a sitter. One teacher came in just as the bell rang but immediately got sent home. She took off her coat and only had her slip on. She apparently forgot to put on her skirt because she was rushing around so much!!! She never lived that one down.
Sounds 90s But Ok
Although I am a teacher, my favorite excuse was one I helped provide.
I went to college in the dark ages, before anyone had their own computers. My university was small & lacking in technology, but they had one computer lab where students could type & print their papers. My friend A. had just finished printing out his term paper for one of his important classes (a lot was riding on this paper), & he started walking to my apartment because he was dating my roommate.
Halfway to the apartment, where there was no shelter at all, the skies opened up in a torrential downpour. When A knocked at the apartment door, he looked like he'd jumped in a swimming pool. He'd tried shoving his freshly printed paper under his jacket, but it still got soaked. He couldn't go back to the lab because it closed minutes after he had left it.
I had heard that you could dry paper in the microwave oven, so I convinced A to let me microwave the pages, one at a time. The results were ok-ish. The sheets were warped, some had very badly smudged ink, and most of them had scorch marks—but we figured his prof would accept it (with the story), and then A could print a better copy when the computer lab reopened. (It was only open about 5 hours a night.)
His professor laughed when A turned in his scorched, smudged, and slightly rumpled paper with his explanation and his fervent promise to get a better copy to her later, but she didn't have a problem with him reprinting it & handing her a more readable copy the next day. He still got a 95% or something on it.
Not Safe To Be Alone At Night
I'm not a teacher and I wasn't late to class but I was unable to finish my assignment one night in like 7th grade because I got jumped by three random people at my local park that didn't even know me and didn't get out of the police station until late at night. The teacher believed me because it was pretty obvious I got beat up. Also all three of them were at least like 2-3 years older than me and I was alone so I didn't stand much of a chance.
Big Cats Roam
Obligatory not-a-teacher, but as a sophomore in high school I went home for lunch. Turned in the news and there was legit a bengal tiger on the loose in my neighborhood (apparently there was a wild animal sanctuary across the way and he escaped). I loved calling my physics teacher to tell him why I was going to be late to my first class after lunch!!
A Block Of Swans
I was once part of an entire university accommodation block (60 students approx ) who were late for the first lecture of the day. This was due to a pair of the university's nesting swans (there was a lake on campus) deciding to shelter from the miserable weather in the entrance doorway. As these evil tempered murder birds were notorious for taking offence at the mere existence of other forms of life, especially bipedal lifeforms, nobody was too keen in attempting to dislodge them.
One of the more foolhardy guys did try poking one of the with a broom handle but its counterattack was so intimidating we decided that discretion was the better part of valour.
The Thing To Come Back With
I was late to a class in TAFE and usually they don't let you in if you're more than 15 minutes. I had a drs note so I thought I'd try anyway coz more than one missed class and you fail.
Anyway the teacher asks why I'm so special to be allowed in when I was late, giving me real attitude, that she's not going to pander to my irresponsibility and detract from those who could be bothered to attend on time.
I was feeling kinda embarrassed and kind annoyed so I replied " sorry my daughters oncology appointment ran late but her specialist wrote me a note "
She just kinda stared at me and told me to sit down.
The Best Note Ever
I taught in a rural school with a very good shop class. I had a kid (super nice, talented kid I liked a lot) run late into choir covered head to toe with grease with a completely frantic expression on his face. He handed me an equally greasy note that said:
Please excuse _____ from class. He's helping me put together a bus we need to run in 45 minutes.
Signed,
Transportation director
I think I kept the note but I haven't seen it in a long time.
Hydrophobic Tendencies
I'm not a teacher but when I was in high school a kid in my class got bit by a rabid beaver and he missed volleyball tryouts. We had class together and the teacher was the coach. Obviously the coach didn't believe him at first but saw the massive bruise from the bite/treatment. To be fair I wouldn't have believed that excuse either had I not seen the mark.
How To Save A Life
I was the student in question. I was once late by about 20 minutes to class. My teacher thought it odd as I am never late. I said "sorry, my friend had a seizure" that friends teacher even gave me a pass. They checked with that teacher. 100% true. I helped my friend who had a seizure in class. She didn't want to go to home and I thought she knew better as it was her body and her condition. She was fine through out the day. I would later marry her friend who also has epilepsy. I am also trained to assist with 5 different types of seizures.
Ouchy Ouchy Ouchy
Student not teacher, college math class. I'd burned the heck out of my hand and was taking hydrocodone for the pain. I could take 3 and still function, but that morning in my sleep addled state I'd taken 3 as I was getting ready, forgot, and took 3 more as I was running out the door. Realized what I'd done about 10 seconds later, thought "oh no," and went to class.
I had a good relationship with the teacher and she knew about the hand already, so when I got to class I just told her what happened, and that I felt fine now, but that I didn't know what was gonna happen. She just told me "sit in the back, if the formulas I'm writing start melting off the board, just get up and go home."
I left 15 minutes later.
-Raspberry Noise-
Forgot new school started at 7 am and showed up for an 8 am start time instead. It was November. Also it was me. The teacher. I showed up an hour late to a class of seventh graders because of a brain fart.
Oh Just A Normal Toe-Breaking
"Hey, sorry I'm late, I broke my toe on the way here! I set it, I'm good."
It happened. She set it, went through class, and went home.
Turned out she broke bones every week or so due to genetics, but boy did it scare me the first two times!
Just Can't Moooooooove
My math teacher said the best excuse he ever got for a student not getting homework finished was that there was a cow in her pool.
My understanding was that it was a family effort to get the cow out, and that the cow was in danger, and it was a lengthy process. I'm not entirely sure what went down, and I am still wondering if there was a fence around the pool...and if so what kind of Houdini bovine stuff went down.
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Sometimes there is no specific reason a person gives others the heebie-jeebies.
Certain people are just born with that vibe.
And other people are just flat-out crazy.
There are small mannerisms and big ticks that just send a clear message to stay a few yards back.
More often than not, we can't exactly put our finger on it... but something inside us just knows.
Better to know and be warned I guess.
Redditor TheRealOcsiban wanted to hear about the people who left many of us with a deep sense of unease, so they asked:
"What made the creepiest person you ever met so creepy?"
People who stare for a little too long without speaking always freak me out.
It's rude to share.
What are your evil eyes really saying?
On Camera
Giphy"He followed me for 3 miles after I left physical therapy and only f**ked off when I went into a store that I knew had cameras all over the place."
isapika
Rambo
"Was kayaking a river when some dumba** decided to dive off a cliff head first into a rock below the surface of the water and had a huge gash in his head. A guy came running out of the woods full Rambo attire headband and all. Poured moonshine over the cut and bandaged the guy up then ran back into the woods. Pretty creepy but probably saved that guy's life."
Over my Shoulder
"(25 Female) Was working out at a fairly busy gym with one other person in the gym at the time as it was late at night. He made a point to only work out on the equipment directly behind me, and every time I would move to another, he would move to the machine behind. It happened so many times that I started to text my boyfriend to tell him I was getting kind of creeped out by a guy at the gym and I was uncomfortable because I was alone in the building with him."
"There’s an entire wall in this gym that’s just a long mirror so you can see the entire room through this giant thing. I look up at the mirror as I’m texting my boyfriend and this man was standing behind me and reading my text over my shoulder from behind the machine. Instead of freaking out and making the situation more dangerous for myself, I stood up and got off the machine and put my phone in my pocket, and briskly walked to the front door without even turning around."
"I walked out and got in my car safely but by this point, I was full of adrenaline and fear. Luckily he didn’t follow. I don’t know why he would have done that, or what his intentions were but I noped the f**k out of there. Reported it to my gym the next day and was told they would investigate and handle it. Never saw him again, thank God."
UndiagnosedOtter
Chilled
"Random guy walks into the restaurant I was working at before. He asked for a crazy coworker (we didn't interact at all) if she was working or if I can give her the schedule. I declined both because it was information he didn't need to know. Told another coworker at the time, and she told me the same guy would sit at a corner table and watch her work."
"At that point, I told her that he was banned and to let a crazy coworker tell him he was banned and can't come back. I also informed the cooks to have the cooks make sure she left safely. This only happened because he happened to give me a creepy chill down my spine when he walked in and asked the question."
lazyfoo_3
Contact Ended
"He kept looking at my feet and ankle and asked to rub my feet the first time I decided to hang out with him. Luckily when he approached me, while he was cute, I was cautious and made our first hangout a group hangout which now I am so glad about. He got creepier the second hangout (public again) and then when I decided a couple of hangouts were enough and I ended our contact, I later saw him in the news arrested for trying to break into a girl's house and trying to attack her."
AgitatedCress7062
Okay, that is too much. The foresight to do a group hang was really something.
Dogs Know
"He had no friends so to be nice one day I invited him over after school to trade some cards. The second my dog met him doggo's body language shifted to tense and alert."
"The dog wouldn't let us be in the same room without sitting between us and straight stared him down the entire time and it was the weirdest vibe. Never did that to anyone else. Creepiest dude I ever met, to be honest. While he was over he openly told me he stole a girl's wallet so he could 'find it' and ask her out. I didn't hang out with him anymore after that."
Achaern
You know nothing...
"Dude called other people NPCs (non-player characters) and couldn't understand that women have their own thoughts that don't involve trying to impress men. Like... he couldn't understand that women have hobbies because they're fun. Weird, narcissistic, and creepy. Oh yeah, he doesn't like it when he gets called creepy."
haunted-poopy
The Crazy Influencer
"He stalked me, threatened me, got me involved in a cross-country legal thing, caused me to beg for a restraining order which was finally granted, lied about me, harassed me, and showed up to my house with a gun. Why? I was his coworker at a retail store for a few months and said “no” when he wanted to date randomly. I barely knew his name at the time… he’s an 'influencer' now that he’s out of jail."
AleshiniaLivesStill
My Protector
"I had a client whose dog protected me from him. He had a creepy fake smile, and that pit bull sat on my foot, staring at him, and keeping herself between us. He laughed and said she's always protecting him, but if she was, she wouldn't have her back to me. She was keeping him away from me."
Hopefulkitty
Listen to the gut...
"I can't put a finger on why I was creeped out by him the first time we met, but a few months later he murdered two people."
"So I'm really glad I was creeped out by him the first time we met."
Ok_Whatever_Buddy
This is why I try never to leave the house.
Some people have lost their minds.
Be safe out there!
It's true that sometimes we just can't understand what someone's going through until we walk in their shoes.
This can be especially true of physical ailments, particularly the less visible conditions that many would rather assume are figments of the sufferer's imagination.
On the flip side, we can try to be empathetic, but truly, sometimes until you've experienced it yourself, you just can't imagine how bad it is.
Already cringing, Redditor fyflate89 asked:
"What's way more physically painful than most people realize?"
Endometriosis
"Endometriosis. I end up bleeding for two weeks straight if I miss a dose of my birth control. Last time I was bedridden for at least three days and could still barely function the next few days."
"When I had to drag my a** out of bed because my grades would drop if I missed any more class (I’m a college student), I was in so much pain, anemic, dehydrated, and nauseous..."
"But, ya know, it’s just 'cramps,' right? Get over it."
- ChipTheOcelot
Ear Infections
"Ear infections are no joke."
"I had an eardrum and canal infection in my right ear. Completely deaf for a week with a ruptured eardrum."
"I couldn't so much as touch the right side of my head without being in complete agony. I could barely talk or eat because opening my jaw was excruciatingly painful."
- izzyishot
Degenerative Disc Disease
"Degenerative Disc Disease in C4/5/6.I look completely fine and can't get disability."
"I also can't look up for longer than 30 seconds, drive for more than 15 minutes, mow my lawn, work on my jeep, or even change my brakes or oil without being laid out in pain for days afterward."
"At its worst, it causes ocular migraines that partially blind me and both arms go numb and I can't hold anything."
"The disability Judge said I was exaggerating my symptoms. F**k him. I hope he gets the same thing."
- Demonae
Depression
"Depression. When I get it bad, my bones and my skin ache. I can feel it in my teeth."
- Darfer
"Colors fade, too."
- knee_bro
Nerve Pain
"Nerve pain… Mine has come and gone at different intervals and intensities throughout the last 10 years, and I can completely understand why people go through serious depression and thoughts of suicide when they feel so helpless because nothing helps reduce the pain."
- theithe916
Not Even for the Worst Enemies
"Getting a colposcopy (cervical biopsy where they rip out a piece of your cervix to test it for cancer)."
"Getting a uterine ultrasound with contrast dye that is injected into your uterus to see if your fallopian tubes are clear (felt like someone punched your uterus from the inside)."
"Getting an intestinal blockage. Getting an intestinal blockage that results in gangrene."
"Those are the most painful things I’ve experienced and my wish for you who read this is to never experience them, especially the intestinal blockages. I wouldn’t wish any of these on my worst enemies."
- iamcrazy4cats
Everyday Pain
"I once worked a six-hour shift as a cafe manager with active appendicitis, when I showed up to the ER (after my doctor and my boyfriend demanded I do), they were astonished I’d been running around and lifting/serving for that long."
"Two years later, I was diagnosed with stage 3 endometriosis, and I had a cyst the size of a golf ball. Parts of my organs were stuck together and they’d always been dismissed as 'normal period pain.'"
"It’s amazing how much pain you can go through when everyday pain is your baseline. A good endo day for me, pre-surgery, was a three or four out of a ten-point scale. A bad one had me on the tile floor clutching a heat pack, feeling like I’d been stabbed in the front and taken a shotgun to my back."
- burntknowledge
Period Pain
"Periods."
"I'm a dude so I've never experienced them, but I've had two girlfriends, completely healthy young women, who've needed to be carried to the bathroom due to the pain."
"My boys, we lucked the f**k out on this one. Be respectful."
- Wazula23
Kidney Stones
"Kidney stones."
"Hear me out. People think passing them is what hurts and they couldn’t be more wrong. Passing them is a minor inconvenience."
"The part that hurts is when the stone is making its way to your bladder. Three- to five-hour bursts of unimaginable pain that has no way of being subdued. I was dizzy, nauseous, and walking around like Quasimodo when those bursts happened."
- PewpyDewpdyPantz
IUD Insertion
"The unexpected pain of having an IUD insertion was actually traumatizing. There’s no f**king reason they shouldn’t warn people about that beforehand."
"They said, 'Oh, it’ll just feel like period cramps.'"
"NO, you f**king id**t, I couldn’t see straight, I had an actual fight-or-flight response where I had to be held down because I was trying to get off the table and run out of the room with no f**king underwear on, I was bleeding heavily for DAYS afterward, and I had cold pain sweat all over my body."
"That s**t was the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life and I cannot believe they do that procedure every day without ANY sort of anesthetic."
"I was curled up in a ball and wouldn’t let anyone touch me for like two weeks afterward."
- Pippified
Gallbladder Issues
"A gallbladder attack. I've undergone so many spinal surgeries, my family literally lost count. I know pain. I know pain very well."
"I was in such agony from my gallbladder freaking out that I had it taken out as fast as I could possibly have that done. I wasn't about to f**k around and find out."
- an_ineffable_plan
Dental Problems
"I've never been happier that dentists exist AND get paid as much as they did until I got my broken, aching wisdom tooth removed. Instant pain dissipation, and even though I was awake during the whole thing, he always made me feel comfortable and taken care of."
"When people say rotting teeth used to kill people back before modern medicine, I 100% believe it. I wanted to kill myself at a couple of points, and I didn't even have tooth decay."
- Pariah0119
An Abscess
"There’s toothache and then there’s a full-blown abscess. The kind where the side of your face is swollen. It’s not a toothache anymore. Now it’s a migraine and earache."
"The pain is always there and comes in waves of pain excruciating pain. No pain meds work. Only antibiotics will take the pain away."
- King_Baboon
Broken Ribs
"Broken ribs. Typically no outward signs to anyone that you're injured, but trust me it's painful as h**l and takes a long-a**ed time to heal."
- waywardcowboy
Migraines and Cluster Headaches
"Migraines."
"I'm not talking about bad headaches. I'm talking about the absolute h**l that is an actual blurred-vision, face-numbing, uncontrolled vomiting-inducing, skull-splitting classic migraine."
"Have you ever contemplated death over pain? A particularly nasty migraine will make you do that."
- SupertrampTrampStamp
"I get cluster headaches. There was this one medication, sumatriptan, that worked a third of the time, and you may have heard about treating them with mushrooms, but that's also a dice roll. Sometimes it's immediate release and a preventative. Sometimes it just pushes a worse one two weeks down the line."
"It's not as comprehensive as a migraine, it's a single spot in particular. There's a tiny demon on my trigeminal nerve with a tiny lava/wasp sting knife. Most of the time they don't last long. Sometimes ibuprofen and a frigid shower are enough. But at the worst, it's definitely asymptomatically approaching suicidal."
- AudiieVerbum
These conditions leave us cringing to think about, especially the ones that leave the sufferer wondering if they can make it to the other side of the pain.
The most important thing to remember is how invisible many of these conditions are, even a broken rib, and that even if you can't see what someone else is going through, doesn't mean they are struggling through it.
Particularly for the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s kids, a lot of businesses and jobs have gone out of style or have been eliminated entirely with advancing technology and societal needs.
While we can all understand how that happened, some of these businesses were arguably gone too soon.
Redditor SilentJoe27 asked:
"What's a profession you've seen phased out in your lifetime?"
Paper Routes
"Paperboys. Having a paper route used to be a thing, but now there are very few people who get a daily physical paper. The route must cover a lot of miles now."
- cmoellering
Video Rental Stores
"Video rental stores."
- wetlettuce42
"This is so sad, too. I used to do the Blockbuster mail rentals, and for a time you could exchange them in-store for other movies (and it would flag yours as returned)."
"The people in the store knew their movies. I would hand them the three I got, tell them what I thought, and they would make three recommendations, and I was never disappointed."
"Even before Blockbuster, the Ma and Pa rental places were great, even if I was never allowed to go 'behind the curtain.'"
- draggar
Quick Photo Development
"Photo Booth operator."
"Back in the 20th century, there used to be small huts in parking lots where a person would develop your film in as soon as one hour."
- HoraceBenbow
"I remember one-hour photo places in the mall where you could watch the photos developing in the window. Also, one-hour photos used to cost a lot more than regular developing, which could take a week."
"Sometimes it really blows my mind how I can have instant photos at any time."
- PinkSugarPills
Radio Hosts
"Radio disc jockeys."
"They're not gone yet, but they are dwindling toward extinction. Local disc jockeys are fewer and fewer as radio stations consolidate under corporations."
- InfernalWedgie
"They once played records they liked in addition to the hits. A DJ could single handily make a new band famous. Now it’s basically software playing the same predetermined top 40 songs on rotation."
- asimovsroomba
Toll Booth Operators
"Toll booth collectors."
- deckpumps_n_deldos
"Dude, that was one that was on its way out but then got absolutely DELETED by the pandemic. RIP."
- TheAero1221
Movie Theater Projectionists
"I used to be a projectionist at a movie theater. Most theaters are all digital now with the projectors on timers."
- 72scott72
"And theaters have suffered because of it. Masking is all over the place. No respect for proper brightness. The screens are filthy. These are major reasons people go to the movies less and it starts with the end of protectionists."
- wilsonh915
An Extensive List
"I'm in my early 50's. Here are some."
"Executive assistants and secretaries. When I started my career even low-level managers had a person to write memos, answer their phone, and plan their travel. I worked in a company of 3,000 people and I bet there were 100 of them. Now I'm guessing there are two."
"The entire industry of pricing guns. Everything in the store had a small white sticker with the price on it. The UPC code and scanner eliminated this and probably half of the jobs that stock shelves."
"Small Engine Repair. Sure, there are still some people out there doing this, but small engines used to fail constantly and everyone had a few of them. The reliability of the devices has reduced the number of people doing this."
"Cobblers. There used to be people that fixed shoes and shined shoes. Every town had one. Every man had his shoes shined often."
"Manual processing. Factories used to be full of people doing ordinary things, like flipping over a different piece of metal every eight seconds or pulling green apples off of the conveyor belt. Now that robotic systems are easy to program and cheap to buy, those jobs don't exist."
- PriveCo
Photography and Videography
"I used to make a nice living as a photographer. I worked for Warner Bros., Atlantic Records, Virgin Records, etc. There’s really hardly any money in that anymore."
- suffaluffapussycat
General Repairs
"Repairmen. When I was a kid and something broke, you would just take it to the local repairman and he would fix it."
"Stereo, TV, vacuum, lawnmower, bike... These guys could fix anything. They had a small shop where they had parts for everything; in some sort of comforting chaos."
"And I have been looking for a couple of years now to find someone to fix my 1960s toaster. Even the company doesn't have any ideas where I could send it."
- sonia72quebec
Typesetting
"A typesetter. The guy who would physically lay out all the fonts and arrange how a newspaper or magazine page would be printed."
- flipping_birds
"I've worked for a commercial printing company going on 22 years. It's amazing how much different it is now compared to when I first started. Never had to old school 'typeset' like you're talking about but we did have to burn negatives for every single printing plate we used."
- Holsinger60
Long-Distance Operators
"Telephone switchboard and long-distance operators."
- brushpickerjoe
"An aunt was an AT&T operator. When they were broken up, she received some 'throw-away' stocks in the new company NYNEX, which she kept. It's now Verizon."
"She doesn't need to work but is a health care aid."
- Rojodi
Door-to-Door Sales
"Door-to-door salesmen. You used to see them pretty frequently back in the 60s, never see them now."
- javanator999
"I remember vacuum salesmen still showing up and doing a 30-minute demo in the late 80s. Now you just go to Walmart and get a vacuum for $100. Things have gotten so cheap."
- turniphat
Medical Transcription
"Medical transcription. Trained editors in medical language have resorted to spot-checking s**tty dictation done by Dragon. Once an important profession now replaced by technology."
- MYOB2023
Encyclopedia Sales
"Encyclopedia salesmen..."
- Flipperpac
"I remember when our family bought a set in the early 80s. It was such a huge help for me and my siblings to not have to go to the library to work on every research assignment. It was kind of a bummer how quickly they became outdated to the point of being almost unusable, though."
- Zolo49
Phone Book Deliveries
"Phone books. It used to be major money in ad sales."
- WhiskeyTangoFoxy
"I'm not saying I got all Navin Johnson about the new phone book arriving, but it always had a wealth of information and good coupons along with the phone numbers and addresses. I just got our new one a few months ago, and it was very disappointing."
- typicalamericanbasta
While it's understandable that available jobs will change will societal demand, it seems there were some jobs and destinations, like video rental stores, that were simply gone too soon. At least these businesses created lasting memories for those who were fortunate enough to experience them.
Whether we like it or not, the fact that each and every one of us will expire one day and go off into whatever the next phase of existence is is a harsh reality.
So we might as well make the most of the time we have while we're here and leave our mark.
What kind of legacy would you want to leave for the succeeding generations?
Curious to hear from strangers online about how they want to be remembered posthumously, Redditor D_And_R_Gaming asked:
"What do you want written on your tombstone?"
There is still humor in death.
Misunderstanding
"I asked to be cremated what the hell"
–Aksjer
"I was going to say 'Bacon Cheeseburger' but then realized that’s Jack’s, not Tombstone."
– ImAF'kinLiar
Life Is A Crapshoot
"I've made many dumb decisions in my life, and only one of them got me killed."
– kinda_fruity_ngl
"Russian roulette without the roulette."
– Aquahert
People got creative.
Keeping Score
"A Steam review of Life:"
"309,936 hours played 'It's OK.' 👎 Does NOT Recommend "
<em>– Anti</em><span></span><em>Theory</em>
-Reddit
Old School
"(My Name)"
"1964 - 2137"
– TrailerParkPrepper
"My spidey senses tell me you are from Poland."
– itstoolatebro
Careful What You Wish For
"Slightly off topic….but I saw a picture of a headstone once that had a cookie recipe on the back of it. The poster said that while grandma was alive, they’d ask her for her famous cookie recipe and she’d say, 'over my dead body'. So, when she died, they found the recipe and put it where she always said - over her dead body."
"I don’t care if it’s true or not; that’s savage and I’m here for it!"
– Fluffy_Momma_C
There seems to be no limit to what you can have on your epitaph.
We Have Options
"GAME OVER
[ ] Continue
[X] Save & Quit"
– theyusedthelamppost
"GAME OVER
[ ] Continue
[ ] Save & Quit
[X] Quit
I don't have to be saved"– Mor_Hjordis
Spirit Rises
"My body lies but still I roam."
– twistedsister78
"Roamer, Wanderer, Nomad, Vagabond, Call me what you will"
– cooperkfb8
Message To Mortals
"GET OFF MY DAMN GRAVE!!"
– LucyVialli
"In really small writing... 'you're standing on my balls'"
– reiveroftheborder
Only The Strong Survive
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
– parataxis
"Evidently you didn't get stronger."
– 69420memes
How Bewitching
"A short melody in sheet music carved into the stone that causes bad weather and time travel paradoxes when repeated."
– MrLuxarina
A Lasting Impression
"I dunno but when I was a kid I came across the tombstone of a world war 2 vet. And on the tombstone was his picture. He has very long canine teethe like a vampire, on the stone was a poem that read"
“'Beware kind friend as you pass by. As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be. Prepare for death and follow me.' It’s just something I’ve never forgotten."
– Ok-Hovercraft2713
I remember being amused as a kid waiting in line to ride Disneyland's iconic Haunted Mansion attraction.
Up on a hillside adjacent to the Antebellum-style manse were a series of headstones with darkly humorous epitaphs.
One that particularly drew my attention was one that read:
"Here lies good old Fred. A great big rock fell on his head. R.I.P."
At the time, I really did think gravestones explained how the deceased perished, and that this one was intentionally funny.
Can you imagine?