It doesn't make you a bad person to have done it once or twice in life. Moments happen when memory lapses and you need a little help from a friend. Just don't make it a habit. Cheating is rampant in school (and in life for that matter) and teachers have to work overtime in this day and age of technology to be vigilant that kids use their own answers and not their friend's. But sometimes you have to laugh at the ingenuity of others when it comes to grabbing answers. Its too bad educators can't give out points for creativity in cheating. Its really too bad cheaters don't find a more productive way to use their minds.
Redditor u/german900 wanted the teachers out there to give us some stories about their students by asking.... Teachers of reddit, what is the smartest/most creative way of cheating that you've seen?
50. Steve Holding That GrudgeGiphy
No idea how my teacher didn't notice this, most likely just didn't care, but I whispered to my friend to tell me an answer to a question on the geography bee. He told me and I got it right. He then got his question wrong and I ended up winning the geography bee and representing our school in the state finals. I'm sorry Steve.
49. RIP Angelfire
Not a teacher (but both my parents are). In high school in the 90s we had to write a big research paper, but the main point of the project was to use sources from The Internet. We could use 1 or 2 from other sources, but had to have a ton from this Internet thing.
The thing was, I went to a backwoods school and was one of the few people in the school, including the teachers, that ever went online.
I found all the content I needed in some book from the library and had a heck of a time finding all the internet sources I needed. So I did what anyone would do. I made an angel fire page with a name close to my report topic and put a big Under Construction banner on it. Then did the same thing with Geocities. I cited both of them and got an A.
48. Coders In Training
While I am a teacher, this is in regard to when I was a student in high school.
I think it was back in 2002/2003. My buddy and I were allowed to use our TI-83 calculators in biology class (I don't recall why). You can connect these calculators to transfer data and programs between them, yet the cable is very short.
So my friend cut the cable and extended it using a landline phone cord. He sat in front of me in class and made it just long enough to reach. We covered the cable using our backpacks to hopefully not get caught.
I wrote a chat program that functioned similar to any basic instant messenger. During test time we would chat back and forth using our calculators.
47. Lost In The Shuffle
A kid in my English class would post the answers to vocab tests on a very cluttered bulletin board that he sat next to and the teacher never noticed. Did it for every test.
Not a teacher, but I used to write formulas on the inside of the wrapper to my water bottle and then re-wrap it.
Also knew a guy who would make himself throw up mid-test if he didn't know the answers and ask to go home. He'd get the questions from someone and re-take the test the next day. He ended up being diagnosed with "severe test anxiety" and was given his own special room to take tests in alone. 5 Sosonta
45. Beep Beep Boooooooop Beep
So this'll probably get buried, but at my college about three years ago there was a huge incident with a group of students who would use the reflections off their watches to signal in Morse code the answers to the test. They were only caught during the second test by a bored TA staring at the wall who happened to catch on. Blew my mind that someone would even think of that as a way to cheat.
44. The Cleverest Man
Heard recently from an acquaintance. He has 30% hearing and uses hearing aids, as he kept getting new updated ones, he gave the old in-ear ones to some of his friends in class. During a test, they would use the aids and configure them so that a very quiet whisper would be wholly audible between them but to no one else. They would just say the answers to each other very very quietly.
43. It Took Extra Work
Someone came to the test room early and had taped a sheet of notes underneath the desk. I thought it was odd that he was there so early. He wanted to make sure that he sat in that seat. He hid a small mirror in his lap so he could read the notes underneath the desk.
However, in the age of smartphones, anyone who continuously looks down at their lap is always on the proctor's radar. I saw the reflection of the lights above him on his face, found the mirror and he got a 0 on the exam.
42. Agaze Away
Not me, but from one of my elementary teachers.
You know how people tend to gaze towards the ceiling when thinking during a test? This one kid (admittedly ingenuous) put his notes up on the ceiling, cheating off of them while appearing to be in deep thought. He did, however, get caught. My teacher mimicked his stance, seeing the plethora of notes. Sadly for our hero, he ended up having his parents called. Would've worked otherwise...
41. The Missing
On my Organic Chemistry final, I came to the very last page of the test and had no idea how to answer the last two questions. So I did what anyone would do. Just ripped the last page plum off. Turned her in.
A week later I got an email from the teacher that something must have happened when he was assembling the test and I had not received the last page. He extrapolated my score from 85 points to 100 points and I passed that bia easily.
40. Bling Bling Cheat CheatGiphy
In college Asian Humanities, I was having a reeeeally impossible time remembering Asian names/dynasties and their years. I had an exam I had to get an A on to pass the class. I had to take the exam in the testing center (cameras and monitors at every desk to catch cheating) and I happened to get a copy of the exam from a friend that had completed it. Just memorizing wasn't working because it was a lot of Asian names and places that I just could not for the life of me remember and even though it was multiple choice, it was a 50 question test.
Sooo... On the way to the test I had an idea, I stopped at Wal-Mart and bought a box of little colored beads and a thing of string. I sat in the parking lot and made a "cheating bracelet". A= aqua B= blue C= copper D= dark purple And put a clear decorative bead at the beginning/end to show where to start.
It was actually a pretty bracelet, I finished it there in the parking lot in less than 3 minutes, put it in my wrist and wore it in the test. Each side of my wrist showed about 1/3 of the answers, so I only had to move a little or pretend to fittle with it once or twice over the hour to see the rest.
It was amazing.
I purposely missed a couple hard ones to throw off the scent. No one ever knew and I magically passed that class.
39. Just Normal Tricks Of The Trade
A guy I knew did something super clever (and super risky).
One of his law finals was an open book test (I think they were statutes or something - IANAL), so he printed out a bunch of precedents in the same format, font and size as the book he was allowed to take (on the same size paper).
He then managed to get a local printer/binder to insert the new pages into his copy of the book.
Got away with it, too.
38. Too Good To Discipline
My brother was taking some sort of maths class in college and the professor told them they could use whatever they wanted as long as they could fit it on a single piece of paper. My brother brought his roommate who was a math major and had him stand on a piece of paper. The teacher allowed it just because it was so inventive, but he changed the rules after that.
37. He Subverted You
My high school history teacher gave his first test, 50 multiple choice questions, collected it and then handed the tests back to us the next day for us to grade as he called out the answers.
I changed two of my answers.
Later that day he came by afternoon class and presented me with a photocopy of my original answer sheet and my changed, graded sheet and asked me to explain the discrepancies.
Busted. I admitted to changing it because I had felt those two questions were ones that the real answer was my second choice - and so gave myself a break...
Luckily I hadn't tried to change ALL my answers to correct. Had a long talk about honesty and I got off with a warning and my actual grade.
Never tried to cheat in his class again.
36. Morse Code Was Popular
Obligatory not me but my 7th and 8th grade Science teacher told us how about 3 or 4 years before we came, she would teach her students Morse Code. Anyway, these two guys figured they could share answers to each other by blinking. It took a few months, but she eventually caught on, made them both wear sunglasses every time there was a quiz, told the other teachers who also made them wear sunglasses during exams, and never taught the language again.
35. Cheating By Binder
When I was in middle and high school a lot of teachers didn't care about making the tests hard. I had a few who would release a "review" the day before the test, and it was literally just the test. I would take two, turn In one, and use other as a cheat sheet.
My mom also bought be a bunch (like 30) cheap translucent binders. You can't see the paper inside but if you press it down you can see the paper crystal clear. So if the teacher catches wise just lift your foot and cheat sheet gone.
My friend caught on and asked for one of my stack. They were hard to find and eventually the rest of the class caught on. Sold one for $10 ea and made $150. Mom wondered why I ran out so fast.
34. Coating My Lies
I have to remind my middle school students that I used to be one myself so I know what I'm looking for.
However, one girl I tutor told me that she sits next to the coat rack in her classroom and she puts answers in a coat pocket and she's able to see it. She also writes everything she doesn't know on her palm in pink ink so it's easier to wipe off in an emergency.
33. Formulaic Concerns
Wrote all the formulas or even derivations that were important on the back of my calculator with a pencil in such a way that only if you look at it from a particular angle against the sunlight you could see them. So if a teacher does look at the calculator, It looks like scratches but if you tilt the calculator it has everything written on it. Did this for all 4 years of engineering. Pro tip : write all the formulas at the back of the answer sheet as soon as you get them when the teachers are busy. Then just rub off the evidence.
32. Coffee: More Uses Than One
Not a teacher, but as a student I would get a black paper coffee cup from the shop right behind my school and write the answers in pencil under the hot sleeve. Then just slide the sleeve down to look at them. If the teacher looked over I'd just take a sip. This got me through a final on all the presidents and their time in office.
I was really bad at French in high school. Year 2 started getting really difficult for me. Wrote some conjugations down on a small piece of paper, had it in my palm and was peeking at it. I look up, and my eyes locked with the teacher's. Without dropping eye contact, I put the piece of paper in my mouth and ate it. No proof. She definitely watched me like a hawk the rest of the year.
30. Cursive Counter-foolsGiphy
Not a teacher, but this was kinda creative. In one of my classes, I used to get my work done so fast that I was bored for half the period. Eventually, I decided that I knew the material and (probably not a smart idea) decided to try an experiment. I gradually started writing more and more in cursive in the class until my teacher got used to it, then I'd throw in errors to see if they'd catch it. They didn't, which confirmed my suspicions that they couldn't read cursive and just gave me credit anyway. So for the rest of the year, I would literally just scribble in my 'homework' and the teacher believed it was just my handwriting and gave me credit anyway.
29. A Troll By Any Other Name
Not a teacher, but last year my professor "accidentally" shared the link of the answers to the next exam, and he "forgot" to delete it.
Everybody thought that we were saved.
The link was actually redirecting us to Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up'
Mr. Bocska, if you see this, you da MVP
28. We're Just Innocent Nerds
Me and a few friends of mine actually learned tengwar and wrote our cheats in that.
None of the teachers could read it and we could hide behind the fact that we're just a bunch of Lord of the Rings nerds writing all kinds of elvish texts on our stuff.
We even had long sleeve shirts and other kinds of clothing covered in elvish looking texts which were basically giant cheatsheets disguised as teenage drive to "be unique".
27. Change Plan, Change Plan!!!
A few of my classmates found out that they had to take another exam in order to pass physics two days before and they had to learn 3 years worth of material. Obviously that was not a lot of time, so we decided that one of them is going to record the exam with a pen with camera inside, hand us the pen while somebody distracts the teacher, we would solve the exam and send it to somebody outside the classroom that was in communication with the guys taking the exam through a spy earpiece.
Well, not everything went according to our plan. The teacher sent everyone that wasn't taking the exam out of the classroom, so the only way we could get the pen with recordings was for the pen to be thrown out of the window. Fortunately, the pen didn't break and we helped them pass the exam!
26. Use Objectification To Your Advantage
I'm not a teacher but in high school I would wear a skirt every time I had a test and write a cheatsheet on my upper thigh. Would slowly move my skirt up while taking the test. I knew I couldn't get caught because a teacher could get in a lot of trouble for telling a student to lift up her skirt.
25. Indents, Lies, And Videotape
In HS I had a Dixon #2 (yellow pencil) with all the formulas for geometry carefully inscribed on it. I'd done it in such a way that the writing was an indent, so you had to hold the pencil just so to see the writing.
In college, I had calculator apps for chemistry (periodic table, chemical naming/ formula, etc), and often had notes in the calculator.
In one class, the teacher handed out the key to the test as you were leaving and didn't confiscate phones. About 1/2 of the class (not me) got texted the answers and blew the heck out of the curve. The next test was significantly harder.... hardest I ever studied for a C (usually A's were easy). Jerks.
24. Fortune Smiled
In high school it was getting close to final exam time. I was studying for a Spanish final. For some reason I looked in the recycle bin in the class and found what I thought were old exams. I took a few to study with my friend. When it was time for the final exam the teacher brought out the EXACT SAME exam that I had spent a week practicing.
23. The Age Of Deception
I taught kindergarten (I teach another grade now), and between 5-6 is a really interesting age. There's a cognitive development that occurs between 5-7 where children become much more aware of the perspective of others, and therefore learn how to deceive their peers.
I could always tell when a student was a little ahead of the curve when they would cheat during games or activities. I caught one student during a math game deal out all of the low number cards to his peer while he kept all of the high number cards.
He kept winning every single round. I walked around the classroom and stopped to watch these two students. The student who was dealt the low cards had no awareness that he had been dealt a bad hand and was happily playing while the other student won every round and was cheering.
I had to stop the game to scold the student who was cheating, but in the back of my head I was just impressed that he was smart enough to cheat.
22. Just To Keep Consistent
We had a professor at my college who never changed his test problems, just slightly offset the numbers: this was calculus 2+3, so knowing how to set up the problem was most of the work, and the professor was a super harsh grader.
There was an 'inheritance' network for old tests. A person the semester before you would gift you their old tests, then you'd gift your email old tests and theirs to a student the semester after you. By the end of the year most people had 3 to 4 different versions each
21. Taking Down The Curve
In 10th or 11th grade US history we had a quiz each Friday where we had to State the president of the week (starting with Washington and moving forward) and name his party, years in office, former occupation, VP and cabinet members, etc. Rather than study for this very easy quiz, I would write the answers in my notebook hard enough that it indented the next page, then just trace the intentions for the quiz. Pretty much the whole class started doing this eventually. One day, the teacher told us to turn our papers over and flip them upside down. We all failed...
20. Creativity with Chocolate....Giphy
My teacher shared with us a story about how since she allowed eating during her tests, one person pulled out a giant bag of M&Ms and ate a specific color corresponding to A/B/C/D. It was a two student duo and they only got caught when another student ratted them out. babydragon0
19. Too smart to cheat!
In a lot of my college courses I wasn't allowed to use anything higher than a TI84. So I took the guts of my TI89 and swapped it into my TI84. Never got caught. NakedEngineer
Oh crap that's the way to do it! Blainezab
18. Classic Ways....
Not sure if this would work anymore, but if I had a paper to write on a book I didn't read I would find a well written paper online. Then translate the entire thing from English to German, German to French, French to Spanish, then Spanish back to English. Pull the original paper and the new one up side by side and clean up the grammar on the new paper and you've got the same concept, but written just different enough to not be plagiarism. Worked like a charm. Throwmylifeaway000
17. An Ancient Code...
I was supervising a final chemistry exam along with another coworker. Not 15 minutes in, a hand slams down on a desk and I turn around expecting the worst, only to see my coworker angrily shouting at a pair of really frightened 10th graders whose desk he smashed. Amidst the shouting I caught the words, "Morse code." The guy proceeded to take them to the office. I called a hallway supervisor to take over and ran after the group.
Apparently, the kids were silently tapping the answers amongst themselves in Morse code. Not even with their fingernails, just their fingertips. I never heard a thing, my coworker happened to catch "B" in Morse code or something. I honestly thought he finally went crazy solely because of his appearance, picture Robin Williams in "Jumanji" going WHAT YEAR IS IT.
I'm 100% sure that if this coworker weren't in the room, they'd have gotten away with it for sure. itellteacherstories
16. ME! ME! PICK ME!Giphy
So, the teacher, let's call him Mr. A, had a reputation for being a phenomenal teacher who had every student engaged/invested in his class, no matter how mundane the subject. Any time he asked a question, every student's hand would shoot in the air with them shouting things like "call on me!" or "I know the answer!"
Simply, Mr. A developed a reputation in the district as one of its best teachers.
Fast forward a couple years and I'm grabbing coffee with Mr. A and I ask him "what's your trick? How did you get every student bought in?"
His response, "well, I told the kids every time we had a visitor in class, I need you all to raise your hand like I was giving away free candy. BUT if you don't know the answer raise your left hand. If you do know it, raise your right hand, so I know who to call on and we all look good. Worked like a charm." JuiceCastillo
15. Click Done!
In high school I was in a computer based learning program and our science tests were taken digitally. However, they used a program where once you entered the test your entire screen was locked into the test and the only way to exit it was to click the finish button on the test or turn off your computer which effectively did the same thing. Another feature of the program was that once you were in the test, anything you had in your clipboard (copied text) was not able to be pasted into the answer sections on the test to prevent the only other way to cheat.
However, after creating my own classroom at home, making fake tests and playing with the program to figure out a way to cheat I realized that it would allow you to copy things from inside the test and paste them elsewhere in this test. The developers of the program also did not take into account the sign in screen where you have to find the test and enter it.
Long story short, I could copy my entire page of notes I had taken on the test material, paste it into the section where I would enter my login information. Then recopy it, enter the test and paste it again in one of the answer sections, using it to answer every question and then deleting it before clicking 'finish.'
14. Use your words....
In elementary/middle school we had to write a paragraph each week featuring all the vocabulary words included in that unit. One clever kid wrote something along these lines:
One day kid's name had to write a paragraph for English class. He sat down, picked up a pen and used these words in it: "proceeds to list out all the words."
The teacher only let it go once because she never saw that happen until then. lukeydukey
13. Write it in Ink...
College physics, girl with a really intricate tattoo on her leg wrote formulas in between the tattoo lines. Even looking closely you couldn't tell unless you knew what you were looking for. You could tell it was test day because she wore shorts. ScarthMoonblane
12. Don't be a Lemming....
I can name the worst, and I've definitely shared it before, but it wasn't my student, it was a friend's.
She'd downloaded a worksheet for the kids to do while she was in a meeting of some sort. Kids found the worksheet's answer sheet online and proceeded to copy the answers. Last answer said "student responses will vary." And that's what one kid wrote as his answer.
Other times you'll see one kid misspells something or gets an answer wrong, and everyone who copied from him has the same error. Jubjub0527
11. That is some MacGyver stuff!!Giphy
One of my old teachers told us a story about a student who had rigged up a tiny scroll of paper in a wristwatch with notes written on it. He turned the scroll by winding the watch.
He ended up getting caught because he was winding his watch so damn much during the exam, but the teacher loved the creativity. vancouver-duder
10. The Staple Giveaway!
I remember a story from my O-chem professor. This student all semester who wasn't showing up to class kept getting his score improved significantly after re-grades. They got their tests back, had a day to review them, and were allowed to re-submit for a regrade. They knew he was cheating because of the unlikelihood of the grading mistakes on multiple exams but the TA's who graded it couldn't confidently say it wasn't their handwriting.
Ultimately it was an office worker for the department who figured it out near the end of the semester, his staples were angled different than the exams handed out that were mass stapled. He was recreating the test, printing it, re-answering it, and then grading it in the same pen as the TAs and had done a good job copying the writing style. 11JulioJones11
9. Stretch it out....
Stretch a rubber band around a text book, write whatever you want on it, then when you take it off the textbook, it'll just look like scribble until you stretch it to see what's written. Spanish conjugations drove me to do some incredibly unethical things. Reddit
8. It's like being a TSA Officer....Giphy
Writing down math formulas and putting them in the instructions insert of the calculator.
More recently, kids will put the answers on their smart watches. It's to the point where I make all students removes their watches and place them on the classroom counter before the test starts. Reddit
7. It's just a Smudge...
I had class in the AM with a kid who was a TA for my physics class the afternoon before (weird period system at my old school). He would tell me the answers to app tests he had graded the day before and I would write them in black ink on the side of the sole of my black boots. I would then sit with my leg bent with my foot on my knee and read the answers during the test. You couldn't see them unless the light hit the ink just right. After the test I would just lick my finger and smudge the answers out. Joshiebear
6. Can you hear... the answers?
During a keyboard harmony lab exam (a room with 28 keyboards), one devious student had previously recorded another student's perfect performance of the exam piece on MIDI <in-out-through>.
The cheater played the recorded piece on MIDI, but used all the right hand motions on his keyboard at the back of the room to try to fool me that he was actually playing it in real time.
Unfortunately for him, the student he recorded happened to be my piano student, and I recognized the distinctive playing immediately. I didn't embarrass him during class by calling him out on it, but dealt with the problem privately - a lesson he told me later that would stay with him for the remainder of his life. Back2Bach
5. Follow the Context....
As a student, I remember when my entire year level was accused of cheating, as the test results came back consistently high. What the teachers failed to realize, was that some of the answers were actually hidden in other questions.
So if you got stuck on one question, you could find the answer later on in another question.
An example would be (this was a Japanese language test) "What does ___ word mean" and later on, a question would use that word in context, so you would understand what that word meant. Cont4x
4. Like you do....
Im not a teacher but I was a student. I had a friend who knew Kurdish and Turkish (We all know Turkish ofc) Anyway, he had to move from his city due earthquake and come to opposite side of the country (Istanbul). He was writing his notes in Kurdish on his desk and 1 desk in front of him. Since none of the teachers and us knew Kurdish it was like gibberish to us, but we knew he was writing down notes in Kurdish. berkaltun
2. The Patsy....
My sister in law is a teaching assistant at her kids school. Her youngest daughter (My niece) was 7 at the time. She stole the test the night before, pretended it was homework and had her mom "help her with her homework" then sneaked the answers in to the test.
One of the other kids caught her, let the teacher know and my SIL, who was overseeing test conditions, died inside when she realized it was the homework sheet that she'd filled out. jonnyg112
1. Mr. D "The Mastermind!"
I'm a high school teacher, but this story is about my own high school math teacher playing us and "cheating."
It was an honors algebra/geometry class, and it was well known that Mr. D re-used the same questions every year, just changed the numbers. He made a big deal about making sure we all gave our exam papers back to him after we had looked at our scores and gone over everything together to prevent cheating for the next year.
Well, of course, some of my classmates got their hands on a complete set of tests from the previous year. Soon, everyone had a set. Before each exam, we would sit together and make sure we knew how to solve every problem on that test so we could do it on the real exam with different numbers.
Years later, when I became a teacher myself, I saw Mr. D at a funeral. I confessed to him that this is what we used to do. He smirked and said "Who do you think leaked the test packet to get you to study?" Mr. D had figured out that kids won't study if the teacher suggests it, but if they think they're getting away with something, they totally will, so he managed to get a test packet out and circulating as contraband. Blew my mind. sarahsuebob
An overwhelming majority of us have plenty of things we are annoyed by every single day, and also lack the power to doing anything about them.
That unfortunate, infuriating state is just the norm. We walk through life seeing, hearing, and enduring daily pitfalls whose existences make zero sense to us.
But if we did have the power to outlaw just one of those annoyances, how hard of a choice would that be?
Apparently for some Redditors, the choice was clear. They were happy to share their selection.
Redditor jinxy_wolfy asked:
"What would you ban?"
Many people have absolutely had it with the annoying aspects of using the internet every day.
"That damn fake 'x' button to close out mobile game adds" -- WebbedRose103
"Or when it's a real x button, but they make it so small that you click the ad anyway." -- tomuglycruise
"That and the moving button that makes you click on ads as it loads more and more ads." -- Maester_erryk
Others spoke specifically about the world of advertising and constantly encountering people trying to sell something. The lengths they'll go are endless.
"You're no longer allowed to advertise a lower price than what the customer will pay. No more $29.99... plus $100 in fees."
"Calling someone you don't know to solicit. I get 12+ calls a day and block each one and still get 12 more the next day. I'll hang up on them because they're calling while I'm using GPS and they'll just immediately call and interrupt the map again."
Glue and Plastic
"selling food that looks significantly different in person than it does in advertising/food glamour shots." -- skepticones
"This is why I like eating out in Japan. There are plastic examples of dishes in the front window. If something looks good, you go in and ask for it, and it matches the one in the window every time!" -- EmEmPeriwinkle
And others set their sights on the toxic elements of human culture that seem to make everyone worse off.
All About Context
"Too many loopholes in current law. For instance Dr. Oz would lose his medical license if he told a patient in his office the same things he says on TV. But broadcasts aren't technically doctor-patient relationships, so he gets away with misleading millions of people."
"Puppy mills" -- godhasmoreaids
"Backyard breeders too imo. I see a lot of poorly bred dogs who have major issues because a family wants a payday." -- EmEmPeriwenkle
Poor All Other Animals
"MarineLand and all zoos that mistreat their animals."
Genuine nature preserves that respect and care for their animals, with lots and lots of room, hey, more power to you. But establishments that keep animals as exhibits in tiny spaces have to be stopped."
"Child beauty pageants, just fu** off with that sh**" -- Russian_Terminator
"Yes. It is disgusting to see little girls caked with makeup parading around in adult clothing.Gross." -- glenarbourgal
Of course, none of us will get the chance to ban any of these things. But we can dream, can't we?
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From our childhood through our adult years, one thing we all dream of from time to time is all the things we could do if we had unlimited resources. Buy a castle and become your own anti-hero, solve world hunger, adopt ALL the animals, live on an endless cruise around the world, heck, buy a whole political party *cough cough*.
Most of us would be content making sure our family and friends were set for life and bettering the world the best we can.
Redditor ApArAmY wanted to hear what everyone else dreamed of doing if they had no limit on funds.
“What is the first thing you would buy if you had infinite money?"
Dreaming of affordable health care? Must be from the US...
“Every single medical provider facility in the world. Make healthcare free for patients. Since I have unlimited money, I can afford whatever drug/device/material/salary/etc that would treat patients.”
“Then everyone can get on with living life knowing that they'll get good medicine and not be saddled with high costs. And taxes could go down because governments wouldn't have to pay for healthcare.” Specialist-Ad475
20 trillion, no big deal...
“I'd fund all efforts to further the fight against climate change, global warming, pollution, etc. I'd probably try not to spend that much money for a while so as to prevent inflation, but adding ~20 trillion dollars to the global economy wouldn't be that bad, right?” PixelGMS
The orange one wouldn't like this idea...
“I'd buy Mar a Lago, make it into a homeless shelter and install wind power turbines on all 18 holes." Mr-Warmth
Someone come get their dad!
“A new butt, my old one has a crack in it!" drewdwagy1966seth meyers dabbing GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
Human rights and green energy...
“Buy Amazon, Nestle, and as many $1billion+ corporations as I can. Once I'm CEO, I would stop every human rights violation they cause and give all the profits (since i have infinite money I won't need it) to charities and funding to green energy and stopping climate change." crispier_cream
“It sounds silly, but an ice cream sandwich. Several years ago, I was living paycheck to paycheck and had a fair amount of credit card debt. I fell behind in my mortgage and lost my home to foreclosure. Shortly after I was notified, I drove over to a 7-11, bought an ice cream sandwich, and ate it while crying in my car.”
“Unfortunately, every time I eat an ice cream sandwich, it's still a bittersweet feeling. I always think of the day my favorite childhood comfort food became forever intertwined with my sense of complete and utter failure. After coming into life-changing money, I would hope that an ice cream sandwich would taste as good again as it did when I was a kid.” Steve-in-rewrite
“Just….. a huge chunk of land.”
“Land. Just….. a huge chunk of land. Build a house for my parents, one for us, and one for my In-Laws, and another small house for the family to stay at when they come to visit. Maybe two. We got a big family. And then just spend my time building my farm." Unusual_Amphibian_20
Just make sure to funnel it through a PAC first...
“A US Senator! Or several of 'em. I've always wanted my own senator.” a_dangerous_noodleSusan Collins Thank You GIF by Election 2020Giphy
The who’s got a bigger one game...
“Judging by the world we live in, apparently I'd enter into the private space race.” Cool-breeze7
Back to the bartering system perhaps?
“I would distribute it all evenly so that it's literally worthless. I would expect this to collapse the economy but what do i know, I'm not an economist.” Jham_jam
It seems like mostly these Redditors want to help others and the planet. Although for that one person, may all your ice cream sandwiches be delightful.
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I admit that I am not a picky eater by any stretch of the imagination. I eat just about anything. I also consider myself pretty adventurous; when I travel, eating good food and trying the local cuisine is at the top of my list!
But even I would be hard-pressed to eat durian or even balut.
Would I say absolutely not? I'll have to get back to you after a trip to Southeast Asia. The jury's out for now.
People had very strong opinions on the food they want nothing to do with after Redditor KentuckyFriedEel asked the online community,
"What dish/food can f*** right off?"
"The edible KFC nail polish. Imagine you are spending the day touching public door handles and keyboards and stuff and then sucking your fingers for chicken paint."
This... this exists?
I'm so happy I've never actually run into this. I was doing just fine without this knowledge.
"Canned whole chickens. Not sure if anyone's seen those, but I want to vomit right now just thinking about it."
I can only think about how slimy it must be from all that congealed fat and it grosses me out.
"Pufferfish. I mean, you need like 2 to 3 years of training to serve it and if you accidentally eat the wrong part it will kill you. The poison has no known antidote and 1 needle can kill 30 adult humans. Other than that, it's just a fish. There are thousands of fish all over the world, just eat a different one"
Yeah... I love seafood but I'll pass. I don't want to be that person. I'm good, thanks!
"For those who aren't familiar..."
"Gefilte fish. For those who aren't familiar, it's like a ball of fish guts packaged in a jar. It's a common food eaten during Pesach."
"Shark fin soup. No taste, no nutritional value. Only to be had to show wealth/status in certain countries. Most importantly, it's really f***** up the shark populations."
Environmentalists have done some splendid work getting people to stop eating this––and imitation shark fin soup seems to be more available than the real thing.
God created the heavens and the earth, and everything in his creation.
He allowed Satan to create one thing... one at all, and Satan created the durian."
"Natto/fermented soybeans. It's sticky and disgusting. It's like Death and Hell had a sticky baby."
"I'm sick of people..."
"Celery. Useless vegetable, no nutritional value at all and just tastes disgusting. I'm sick of people ruining perfectly good egg/potato salads and soups with freaking celery. It's just unnecessary."
Celery's only crime is how inoffensive it actually is. Does it deserve this hate? Probably not.
"Liver. I mean... it's a filter. Why would anyone want to eat a filter?"
You can pry my liver out of my cold, dead hands. I'll have yours if you don't want it!
"I thought I hated..."
"Canned Spinach. I thought I hated spinach for half my life. Nope, I love it, just not that snot in a can. Why did you feed me that mother? Why?"
Okay, what I've learned today is... I could have done without the thought of canned whole chicken. My stomach wants to reject it and it's not even in my stomach. That should tell you something.
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us all about them in the comments below!
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Death is inevitable. It's a truth we're always trying to outrun. Yet we do so many things to speed up the process.
Everyday we are helping ourselves to an early grave. And there are so many ways to avoid that trip. People are telling us all of the time how we can be healthier and better. There are literally books and blogs about ways to keep on keeping on.
So why don't we try and follow some of these ideas. And maybe we should begin trying to pinpoint were we are off and how we could try and avoid that which is poisoning us. Like carbs, well too many carbs, at least for me.
Redditor u/Babynouil wanted everyone to listen up, to make sure we live as long as possible, by asking:
What's something a lot of people do, but don't realise it's shrinking their life expectancy ?
Rule number one for living a healthy and productive life... "AVOID ALL POLITICS FROM THIS MOMENT ON!!" I swear that is killing us all, swiftly! Turn off CNN, FOX, MSNBC... all of it! Stop!
MOVE!Tired Good Morning GIF by FreeformGiphy
"Sitting too much. Our bodies are not built for the insanely sedentary lives we live. Even many of us who are relatively active spend most of the day sitting at a desk at the office and then sitting on a couch/gaming chair/whatever all night."
"Screw up their sleep schedule."
"Some of us can't help it. I remember being as young as 10 years old and constantly waking up several times in the night, seemingly for no reason (and it still happens 5 out of 7 night these days, in my late 30s)."
"Then I read a few years back that severe PTSD can disrupt your ability to sleep through the night, sometimes for the rest of your life, and suddenly everything made sense. As such I'm lucky if I spend two straight weeks on a "normal" sleep schedule. Right now, I'm a 5AM -1:30PM sleeper."
"Tension caused by worrying about things beyond our control."
"I'm stressing because my kid just started school and is having a hard time. Whenever I started a new year of school, I'd get sick with a cold. Now I'm sick with a cold because I'm worried about my kid."
"Work is killing us. We need to figure out for ourselves what we need to do to offset out jobs. I had a standing job for over a decade. It is only slightly better. Standing in one place is terrible for the circulation into your legs. It's also really hard on your feet, ankles, knees and lower back. Fatigue mats, better shoes, etc only go so far in helping. Throw in a couple repetitive motion injuries from the job itself and even after 5 years in an office job later I still have pain."
I definitely need to put my phone down. Especially when I drive. It's like an addiction. Also, my sleep is a mess. I doing my best. And someone teach me meditation.
ActiveWorking Out Lifting Weights GIF by Chance The RapperGiphy
"Being stationary too much and not enough movement and activity. So many problems slowly creep up on you."
"Go outside without a hat or sunscreen."
"People have been using some form of sun screen for hundreds of years. Whether it be plants, mud, etc. Plus, the UV index is ridiculous in comparison to what it used to be due to the climate crisis so the risk is actually much greater."
"Not building deep relationships. Doesn't matter if friendships or romantic relationships, deeply connected human beings live longer than people who isolate themselves or have rather shallow relationships. So, just so you know: THAT'S what friends are for. ;-) "
"Being severely anti-social is all I know. I am slowly developing a minor case of agoraphobia. I don't have any friends, and every time I meet someone new I freak out and don't talk to them ever again."
"I need therapy but I can't afford it. Online options aren't really options, because most of them are either extremely impersonal, expensive, or other various issues. Also I generally have a very bad history with therapists and don't like doing it because I usually come out feeling worse."
Call Erin Brokovich
"Living near steel mills. The area I live in thrives off of these and the air pollution from them has caused SCARY high cancer rates, lung problems, and thyroid issues."
"There's a city near where I live that is nicknamed Steel City because of the amount of steel mills and other metal working facilities that exist there. I started visiting friends that lived there on a regular basis when i got my license many years ago."
"Almost every young adult at the time had this random twitch that happened every few minutes. They all acted like it was completely normal. "No, that's not normal at all, wtf is in your tap water?" I said. Most of those facilities are shut down now, and I don't see the same issue anymore."
Water. I always forget water. It's so vital. Does ice count? I put ice in everything. You gotta start somewhere. Let's get healthy people.
Reread all of this.