Teachers. Often they are stand-ins for parents, and what they have to handle can be overwhelming. Some of these stories are jarring - like first graders knowing what meth smells like, or faking autism for years on end.
LultimaNotte asked educators: Teachers of Reddit, what is the biggest holy-sh*t-red-flag of any kind you've seen from a student? [NSFW]
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
This is messed up.
I teach in an area that has been very, very affected by the opioid epidemic. I taught a student who was well-known to be addicted to heroin. He was also the person who gave his mother her first dose of the drug. His mother died of an overdose. The last time I saw him he had self-tattooed on his arm "I killed my mom" in huge letters.
Not cute, not funny.
GiphyI had a student last week tell me to hold out my hand because he had a surprise for me. I did it out of curiosity and he placed a 9mm round in my hand. This is two months after I had a student tell everyone via SnapChat he was gonna shoot me and another teacher up. I just shook my head and called administration to deal with that BS.
Imagine being so dark and troubled so young.
I had a student earlier this year who came to me because he was "kicked out" of his last school (according to him). He was covered in tattoos as a freshman in high school. On the second day of having him in my class, I looked up from my desk while students were supposed to be taking a test to see him miming cutting off my head with something shiny. When I went back to see what it was and he laughed and hid it, swearing he had nothing. I looked up to see him doing it again. Same thing happened... I let it go.
After he left the room, I found the pen he had been writing with under his desk with two small incisions in the cap. I immediately reported it to admin.
He was moved to another teacher a few days later for an unrelated scheduling issue. He threatened to kill her. He was moved to another teacher because of this. In the third teacher's class, he drew pictures of rifles all over his essays.
So. Many. Red. Flags. He was finally sent to the alternative school a few months back. But he'll likely be back.
EDIT: To clarify, the incisions on the pen indicated that he was using some kind of sharp object (a thumbtack, I suspect) to mime cutting my head off. And yes, I/we have documented and reported these things every step of the way.
This is both impressive and unnerving.
It happened a few years ago, when I was an intern at a big school in my town. My job was simple: follow the teacher wherever she went to and complete 100 hours of unpaid work, that's it. Sh*tty, but I had to do that in order to get my diploma.
So, there was this boy, around 14, who was always alongside his personal therapist. I don't usually ask questions, but since that same teacher was my high school teacher years ago, I felt comfortable in asking her what was wrong with him. She said he had autism, and sometimes he would get aggressive towards his classmates, so his therapist had to be with him at all times while he was at school to help calm him down if something or someone triggers him.
Days later I went to the teacher's room to ask for signatures for my internship documents. Everyone is helpful and starts signing until the coordinator walks in and asks for our attention.
"Guys, I have some news to tell you all about [boy]. You'd better sit down. You too, SpiritSong. You gotta listen to this," she said.
Turns out the kid had been pretending to be autistic for years. He looked up on the internet for the "symptoms" of autism and just started using his acting skills to fool even a psychologist and his whole family. His therapist had empty eyes, his mother looked like her son died in front of her. I don't know the details, but it seems a different psychologist did something to him and caught him off guard, discovering his ruse.
And people have the gall to say that a teacher's life has no thrill. I've been in the teaching career for only about 7 years and I've already had this and some other similar kinds of stuff happening, I can't wait for what the future holds for me!
No warning sign here, nope.
Had them producing a book report with a few sentences and some pictures. Kid had an abridged version of some Penguin classic, and everything was good barring one question:
'What did you enjoy most about this story?'
"He gets mad and kills his family." Followed by a scrawling image of mutilation.
Completely unrelated to the story and just slipped in there with some good work.
And it's said kids can't be sociopaths...
GiphyWhen I first began teaching, we had a student who seemed to get a lot of satisfaction out of manipulating or hurting others. Her behavior escalated, leading to a brief hospital stint after killing her puppy. When she returned to school, she bragged gleefully about it and shortly thereafter began writing death threats in blood on the walls of bathroom stalls. As much as I hate to say it, she's one I wouldn't be surprised to see in the news in a few years.
*Steps away slowly...*
A (university) freshman tried to add my class late, but all the slots allotted by admin had been filled. He approached me after the first day of class and asked to be added anyway. Very flat affect. No emotion at all.
I told him that I couldn't add him, and he replied, "If you don't add me, I'll follow you everywhere. Even to the bathroom."
Huh?
I'm not a huge guy, but I easily doubled his body weight. Not the situation to try to make a threat, I'd say.
I was nonplussed for a moment, so I asked him to repeat what he'd just said. And he did. Word for word. He did. I could tell this guy was a nut case, and in hindsight I probably should have reported the incident. Instead, I just kind of laughed it off and walked away.
Never saw him again, to my knowledge. Kinda doubt that he made a smooth transition into adulthood, tho.
Stalls are superior anyway.
I may have set off a red flag for teachers when I was in 3rd grade.
I would always pull my pants all the way down to my ankles when I peed in the urinal, and obviously, would constantly get made fun of for it.
Well, it got very tiring and hurtful so one day when I dropped my drawers to pee, the boy that walked up in the urinal beside me (who pees side by side anyway?) popped his mouth off and I just non-chalantly pivoted and piss all up and down his leg.
The principal called my mom, and I was tactfully talked to at home about how it's good to stand up for yourself but that wasn't an appropriate reaction. Then my dad took over and explained how I really needed to not get basically butt naked to pee standing up at a urinal.
Things six-year-olds shouldn't say.
GiphyA student walked in the classroom and said "it smells like crystal meth in here."
I teach six-year-olds.
Old English.
Student skipped the week or two that he had pool time at PE. Counseled his parents at conferences he was exhibiting some gang tendencies (oddly so were the parents). Found out later that year he skipped pool PE class because he had his last name tattooed across his back in old English. This was a 14 year old. UpDownABAB
The Deepest Cut.
This year I had a female student (middle school) who had cut her arm so many times you couldn't really see the skin, just a bunch of bloody, scabby cuts. She hid it well at school as it was winter and the students were all wearing sweaters. We only found out because one of her friends started crying and told me I needed to talk to her immediately. ZeeFishy
Sad Family Line.
My friend runs a swim club for kids, she once got a complaint from some mothers that one 8 year old boy was performing fellatio on some 6 year old boys in the changing room. The kid wasn't allowed to come back, and it turns out that his grandfather molested him, that's where he learned the whole thing. Ilbutters
Call the Team.
GiphyThere was a kid I knew in second grade he was wild. When we were in the same class together, the teacher would regularly have to call the "assistance team" (a group of teachers that would restrain unruly kids and were trained on how to do so) he would throw desks, chairs, scissors once if remember correctly.
The following year (we weren't in the same classroom but it was a small school so you'd still hear about things) he tripped a very pregnant teacher causing her to go into labor no idea how he didn't get expelled for that but the final straw was when he found a rusty pocket knife on the playground during recess and stabbed the student sitting next to him in the stomach with it for no reason. Still wonder what happened to him. Oh oh and he sucked his thumb regularly. jimshwarts
Problem Child.
College professor. Guy just a little bit older than me wrote a paper in which he shared a fantasy about beating the crap out of a younger female therapist for not listening to him about his problems. He was constantly distracting in class, cheated in every way imaginable, and just struck me as off. I repeatedly put in student of concern notices about him, because I really thought something was going to go wrong. Shortly after the class ended he took his newborn kid and ran away to a different state. :/ phoenix-corn
First Grade Crazy.
My cousin (currently in 1st grade) had a girl in his class throw a computer tower in their classroom and slapped and punched the teacher as she tired to gain control.
To my knowledge, nothing ever happen to the girl because the teacher and the girl's mother are good friends. They don't want to ruin her time at school by reporting the incident. smaltowngrl
I See You Kid.
A buddy of mine teaches the special needs class in a high school. For him it was the kid who he'd been told liked to throw things. That wasn't entirely uncommon for his class, but when he noticed the kid was wearing adult diapers, he went straight to the office to review the kid's file. His "red flag" sense was right, the kid liked to throw poop.
My buddy went to OHAS and has managed to keep the kid out of his class. That was last week. This week he's been told that the school is still trying to get the kid put in his class anyway. (they make money for taking these kids). He's fighting it, but lord know which way it will land. Never_Been_Missed
Let's Call Dad.
GiphyI was in charge of an after school program for Jr. High and High school students (13-18 years old). One time I was waiting for a 13 year old girl to get picked up with her friend, and this is the conversation I hear from across the room while they were messing with the whiteboard.
Girl 1: draws swastika
Girl 2: "You can't do that, that's bad."
Girl 1: "Why?"
Girl 2: "I don't know, I just know bad."
Girl 1: " It's OK, my dad has it tattooed on his chest."
Me: 👀
Edit 1: I was working in a semi-rural part of the US, and dad was a white guy who lived in a trailer park. I'm not one for stereotypes but I'm pretty sure the guy wasn't Hindu. Or Buddhist. But I appreciate this sub's ability to always look for a silver lining. sweeetkiwi
Call CPS!!
There's a kid in this preschool class, aged 5, that says the most off the wall stuff.
So far this school year, she has said that her dad is going to come to the school and kill kids and their families, that she has a doll that will come to this other little girl's house and cut her heart out, eat it and cut her legs off, and finally that her dad shoots kittens.
At this point, I'm thinking of calling CPS or at least pushing the issue with the school district because there is no reasonable explanation as to why a 5 year old would be saying these disturbing things. HeyBlenderhead
America the beautiful.
So much to see. So much to experience.
Just because we don't have exotic oceans and ancient history doesn't mean there isn't majesty to take in.
There are many vacations to put together.
And now we don't have to use a paper map to plan.
Our apps and GPS have it all planned out.
Redditor driedkitten wanted to compare notes about the greatest ways to see the USA, so they asked:
"Where is the most beautiful place in the United States?"
So far the cliffs of California is my favorite part of the US.
The Falls
niagara falls GIFGiphy"Subjective of course, but Crater Lake is certainly a sight to behold."
KaboodleMoon
"My home state of Oregon is full of beautiful places, South Umpqua falls, Illinois River, and Multnomah falls. Are some favorites."
jlp120145
Oh Hoh...
"A tie for Acadia, Hoh rainforest, and Rainier in the fall."
ParkLaineNext
"I was going to say Acadia. It's very underrated for some reason. My mom's friend by coincidence ended up being my English professor in college and we went on a trip to see family in ME. We stopped at Acadia for a day and she said it reminded her a lot of her visit to Greece."
NunChuckNorris007
"Hoh rainforest is absolutely devastatingly beautiful. Hiked the whole Hoh river trail when I was 17 and it's still near the top of the list for my favorite things I've ever done."
Hal9000_Red_Eye
In Awe
"Glacier national park. I was continuously in awe that the place was real life."
StrebLab
"The vistas of this road, on a motorcycle, were beyond breathtaking to experience. Would 100% do it again. Being on a bike allowed for stops at the waterfalls where there was no room for vehicles to pull over, and the views from the tunnels under the road were supernatural."
tastygrrrl
The Road Ahead
"There is a stretch of the Navajo reservation where there is no cell service, AM or FM radio reception. The road stretches before you for miles surrounded by red rocks touching blue sky. The buzzing undercurrent of modern connectivity fades away and your brain can be truly still."
tulleandtiaras42
"We did a little unscheduled off-roading in that area when we came to a road closed barrier. A Navajo couple pulled up alongside us while we pondered the dirt road heading roughly in the direction we wanted to go and assured us it was passable. Really lonely place... but wonderful."
KaleidoscopeWeird310
On a Clear Day
Mountain GIF by Sunshine VillageGiphy"Mount Rainier."
WWDB
"If I stand right at the doorjamb of my front door on a clear day, I have a beautiful view. I owned this house for 15 years before I figured that out. You can't see it from any other position in the doorway, or if you're outside."
Wise_Ad_4816
Mountains are hot. That is all.
See the Country
Happy Dance GIF by PLAYMOBILGiphy"Depends on what you’re looking for. The United States is a big place."
"For me - Hawaii is hard to beat."
Own-Willingness-3935
Beautiful scenery...
"Zion National Park is the most well-known place in Utah. But my entire state is an outdoorsman's paradise. LOTs of beautiful scenery in both the northern and southern parts of the state."
nekor18670
"Totally!!! And it’s very different. I personally prefer Southern Utah because the red rocks make me feel like I’m on Mars. But I grew up in the salt lake valley, so the mountains lost a lot of their majesty. But if I’m being honest, I miss them terribly."
Bye-sexual-band-n3rd
Smell the old growth
"I’m incredibly biased, but the most beautiful place is the California redwoods. Drive up 101, and then detour towards Petrolia. There is absolutely nothing like it. Roll down your windows and drive 35mph. Smell the old growth. Stop at the pull out. Take a small hike. It’s worth it."
Altril2010
"Yes, 100%. My brother lives in McKinleyville and I am going to see him the end of April. Can't wait. It's my happy place. They are like the Grand Canyon and Niagara Falls... you have to see them to believe them. Those redwoods are something else!"
strongy78
Utopia
"Yosemite! You drive thru the tunnel and come out the other side. Looks like heaven/Utopia."
Socalrdb
"Did a hike in Yosemite on January 1 last year. A spectacular way to start the year. I had seen photos of it, seen it in movies, watched countless videos on Youtube about it but -nothing- prepares you for the sight of El Cap as you turn that corner. I was very nearly moved to tears."
ThrustersToFull
Amazing
Episode 1 Boat GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"The Shenandoah Valley. Its an amazing place if you're an outdoorsman. Hiking, fishing, hunting, bird watching, camping."
homoco4396
All the wonders of the world. I may have to check all of these out.
What did we miss? Let us know in the comments below.
Humans really know how to waste a buck... or millions.
We spend so much on superfluous items it's ridiculous.
Do we need ten of these?
Gym memberships can be hundreds of dollars a month yet there are DVDs and apps that show you cheaper ways to do it from home.
Life doesn't have to cost this much.
Redditor bluscorp91 wanted to hear about the things we really need to financially evaluate, so they asked:
"Which everyday item do people waste too much money on?"
I waste on takeout. I can't help it. I'm me.
Go to the Fountain
Scared 30 Rock GIF by HULUGiphy"Water."
brakjeeptj
"If you have safe tap water witch most people in Europe, Australia, and US/Canada has you can save thousands on water. One gallon costs under a dollar from the tap, and one gallon from the store will cost 5 dollars or more."
mincraftpro27
Tea at Home
"Takeout coffees."
LucyVialli
"What I don’t get is how people have TIME for that in the morning."
"There’s a coffee stand place by me that consistently has a huge line that sometimes blocks traffic. The few times I have been there on days off I have waited over 20 mins and that wasn’t even during rush hour."
"Like who has time to spend 20-40 mins before work in line getting coffee?!?"
pooponacandle
Skins
"Fortnite."
anyma6
"The skins are cool as sh*t, I'll admit it, but damn, $20 per skin? People are out here claiming it's fine because it's a free game, but $20 per skin means if you have 3 skins, you could've gotten a completely different game all together. And most kids have hundreds of skins. My coworkers son spends all of his allowance, Christmas, and birthday money on Fortnite skins."
"He's claimed that his son has spent over $1200 on Fortnite. That's f**king insane."
"My buddies are full grown men and they buy like one skin ever 4-5 days, it's crazy. They spend anywhere from $80-$120 a month on Fortnite. I literally don't understand at all. It's an entire bill to pay every month. I play it with them from time to time and only have like three skins. I still feel like I spent too much on that."
B3RS3RK_CR0W
Vroom
"Cars. I don't know how so many people can afford the mortgage on cars that cost twice the average annual salary around here. And they are legion."
"If you want to save money, you drive a 10+ year old beater. It is paid for, you will have to repair it every year for a couple of hundred bucks, but the cost per mile is a fraction of that for a new Polestar 2 or Volvo XC60."
"I'm guessing I am seeing the caste that lucked out on the housing market."
Derpygoras
For Good
Mothers Day Netflix GIF by Grace and FrankieGiphy"Netflix."
OptimumRedditor
"10 bucks a month is worth it."
RandomBloke2021
"Netflix prime Hulu, Appletv, Disney+ and all that crap that we can just find free on the internet free. Hell no I'm not paying for 100 different subscription services."
gracie4questions
There are way too many options. YouTube is cheaper.
MOOOO!!!
Stone Cold Reaction GIF by WWEGiphy"My Family spends A LOT of money on milk, since my entire family drink like 2 bottles a day total. Not with coffee or anything, just plain milk."
MonkeeBoi123
All that milk... I hope they change the flavors.
Last Call
Happy Hour Drinking GIFGiphy"Alcohol."
orbittheorb
"Buying alcohol at the bars. Seriously, downtown Chicago, 'Can I please have 2 rum & cokes and a Bud Light?'"
"'Ok that will be $35.'"
"Forget that mess."
Angel--Wonderland
A Communication Must
"Phones."
DrLycFerno
"I'm going to disagree since you left your reply so basic. Now if you buy the newest phone at launch, and repeat that every new release, yes that is wasteful. I bought a 1 year old model 4 years ago and it's still fine. If it turned into a brick tonight, I would drop like $800 on a 1 year old model and be good for several more years. That isn't wasteful."
somedude456
Need a Roof
"Rent."
abby_normally
"If our economy wasn't trash right now, I'd say buy your own place. I rented for 3 months then bought... renting is like flushing your money and any potential home equity (God I hate that word these days) down the toilet."
Runner_Girl1217
"It’s too expensive but unless you’re living outside your means the money is not wasted. Shelter is pretty important, it’s right up there with food and water."
HutSutRawlson
Clean Up
Toilet Paper Poop GIF by Paper PooGiphy"Toilet paper. Wash your butt with water, and you can save tons of toilet paper."
"Never could understand what it is with toilets with nowhere to wash, and walking around with chocolate caked holes."
lefttheovenoff
Next Day Problems
"Surprised no one else has said this. Throwing away left over food instead of eating it later. I've worked in the restaurant industry for years and it's appalling the amount of food that gets thrown away that would be perfectly fine the next day. I constantly pack my leftovers and eat them for lunch."
Angel--Wonderland
We really need to evaluate our spending.
They say ignorance is bliss, and there is truth to that statement.
Whether it involves trying a new fashion fad, type of food, or starting a new activity that spikes your endorphins, it's to go back to the way things were prior to experiencing them.
It's like opening Pandora's Box. The joy of discovery is exciting, but it also has the potential to consume you.
Curious to hear from strangers online who were unable to get the toothpaste back into the tube, Redditor Kapuishon88 asked:
"What’s something you can’t live without once you’ve tried it?"
Computer-related activity is addictive.
Gaming
"Video games."
"Started in 1983 before I had reliable memories of anything. It's been a daily obsession since then."
– Kneejerk_Nihilist
Decades-Long Obsession
"Original Zelda. Level 1. 32 years ago. Resistance was futile."
– inarog
Online Activity
"Fast internet."
– Pufferfishgrimm
Opening Up The Periphery
"A second monitor."
– Gaby07
The following involve the things that make life easier.
Selective Hearing
"For me it’s noise canceling headphones."
– Kapuishon88
Wages
"A decent income."
– [deleted]
Preference For The Dark
"Blackout curtains for me. The noise-cancelling headphones of light."
– _CPR_
Sheer Comfort
"Quality underwear / socks."
– thevectorvictor
It's a hygienic thing.
The Perfect Backsplash
"A bidet."
– walkswithelias
The Backup
"Was gonna say the same. I explain to people that once you use one, you'll feel like a peasent when you wipe your a** with TP."
– walkswithelias
For Multi-Use
"Baby wipes. Damn, they are good at cleaning up so many things! The kids are 10 and 15 now and we still buy them by the case. Clean the counters, clean your shoes, get stains out of your clothes, bring them with you when you go eat ribs. Better than a napkin. Clean the table. Clean the desk. Clean the island. Wipe up the spill."
– ScienceMomCO
I have to agree about bidets being a life-changing discovery.
Ever since I was a kid going to visit my relatives in Japan and noticing virtually every toilet having a built-in spray 'n wash button, I was like, "Why doesn't America have these wondrous devices installed in every toilet?"
Not only is it super satisfying, it saves trees.
Most of us love animals and take stock of other people's pets. Some people have a better chance of remembering another person's pet's name than the person themselves.
Part of that allure has to do with the fun and creative names that many people come up with for their pets.
The Redditor, who has since deleted their account, asked:
"What is the best pet's name you've ever heard?"
The Autobots Would Be Proud
"I had a friend once who had a bunny named Hoptimus Prime."
- nellirn
Extra Hoppy Beer
"I live in northern Colorado which has a pretty big craft beer scene. One of our biggest and most popular breweries is Odell Brewing."
"One of my coworkers named her dog Odell because he had three legs which, in her words, made him extra hoppy."
- fiveironfreshy
At the Race Track
"I once heard of a race horse named Thunderbritches!"
- whiskey_weasel_
From the 'Tragedy of Julius Caesar'
"I had a friend who had a 14-foot python as a pet named Julius Squeezer."
- TSchwifty35
An Ode to Eminem
"My wife's fish was named Swim Shady."
- josephexotic
Such a Giant, Cuddly Dog
"An Old English Sheepdog named 'Woolly.'"
- Back2Bach
Not Like the Movies
"My cat's name, he's named 'Gremlin'."
"A lot of people believe the movies were the inspiration, I just wanted to give my cat a weird but cute name."
- EldritchDWX
What a Tongue-Twister
"My guinea pig was Wanda Wilhelmina Wobblebottom."
- 84dg3r0u50n3
Tiny But Mighty
"A Redditor once posted a photo of their little, black kitten named Admiral Anchovies."
"That is all."
- Voyeurism_Bot
Social Creatures
"A little pug named Barbecue, or perhaps a corgi mutt with eyebrows named Party Time."
- BaronMatfei
Adorable Stage Names
"I still love the name Kitty Purry (Katy Perry's cat)."
- pirate_elle
Historic References
"Someone in the 'backyardchickens' subReddit named one of their girls Attila the Hen."
- dontforgetthel?be
A Name Upgrade
"A friend of a friend had a cat named Snack."
"Eventually, Snack had a few too many snacks, and they started calling him Meal."
- JuRoJa
Sounds Like a Big Boy
"A French bulldog called Tankerbell."
- blackday44
A Fair Question
"Between Chairman Meow and Benito Meowsolini, uh, there are a lotta cats with dictator names. What's next, Meowseph Stalin? Kitler?"
"Then again, cats are all wannabe dictators..."
- centaurquestions
Not only are some of these names hilarious, but these pet owners were on high creative alert when they named their furry loved ones.