In life, sometimes there's wrong and "technically not wrong" - and the difference can often be hilarious.
If you're a teacher, have worked with kids, or you're a parent then you probably know what I'm talking about. My youngest is notorious for this kind of thing. If you ask her what she's doing, she's pretty likely to answer you with something like "being made of awesome."
I mean ... she's not wrong.
Reddit user TheKarmaCauser asked:
Quite a few of these students are also made of awesome, I just know it.
SO MANY Decades
Last week I had a 10th grader start his essay with "Humans have been on the earth for many decades."
Points For Friendship
Question: "What is something that is not counted in GDP (Gross Domestic Product)?"
I gave the student the points since I laughed out loud, and it was only two points (on a 25 point assignment.)
English as a foreign language class, with students who were below grade level. I gave them a vocabulary worksheet, and asked them to write complete sentences using words from a list. The main point was to just practice writing complete, grammatical sentences, but I was hoping for some evidence that they knew what the words meant as well. One of the words was "tribe". One student wrote: "Our tribe is better than your tribe!"
And I though, not only was she not wrong. She had just summed up thousands of years of human history in a single sentence.
Great Lung CapacityGiphy
I had to evaluate a kids saxophone playing for finals.The test is structured so you just get sent a sheet of music and the students can play it at any tempo.
This kid decided to have a tempo of like, -20.
A quarter note was three seconds long. It took a straight 5 minutes to play 3 lines. I was honestly surprised he didn't pass out on the whole notes. I guess he has great lungs.
Dude was really trying to both pass AND piss me off. He's a little brat, and has an ego the size of China; but he does have a lot of skill to back up his attitude.
He went through great sufferings just to annoy me. The whole and half notes were so annoying since at one point it was just half notes going up the scale. I've never wanted to wrongfully fail a student that much, but this kid always tests me.
Still hate him. I can't wait for him to graduate even though the band will suffer because he's the only talent there. I just hate his attitude.
I can't imagine anything worse than listening to a high school student play saxophone very, very slowly.
A Shockingly Un-Buddhist Solution
I am a Religious Studies teacher in the UK, I was teaching a lesson about Buddhism and I asked the class: "What do you think of the Buddhist claim that it is possible to end all suffering in the world?"
Most of the kids were skeptical but one was certain it was possible. I asked how.
"You destroy the planet and all life."
I had my grade four students doing a math assignment where they had to identify and name different shapes (like square, triangle, etc.) I put an octagon on the sheet and i had one kid write "stop sign???" in the middle and I laughed hard enough that I gave him the full mark for it.
One time, my cousin got in trouble for answer "Jesus" to every single question on his religion exam. He was called up the following day after class in front of the teacher and the principal to be scolded. They asked why he would "make fun and not take his exam seriously."
He just explained that he answered like that because "Jesus is always the answer." They let him go with nothing but a warning after that.
Mind Your BusinessGiphy
Psychology test, we were talking about interacting with others and defusing situations.
Question: What techniques can you use if your colleague is having a bad day and seems to be in a bad mood?
Answer: Mind my own business
Technically we do have a technique where you let the person "simmer" and wait out their anger so it's not a built up ball of frustration directed towards you especially in a work setting....they got credit.
Good looking men are this:
The answer was 'handsome'. Student wrote 'handful'.
"How do you get to Alcatraz?"
A student answered "by boat"
Write A Note
I am a music teacher. I asked a girl in Year 4 to write a note on the second line of the music staff. She wrote "my name is Marian."
Emotion And Action
Same kid on the same exam:
Q. Describe the events that take place during the bus ride in [story].
A. It was a bus ride full of emotion, but also full of action.
Q. What happens at the end of [story]?
A. The story ends.
A Bad Diet
My history teacher told me he'd received this answer:
Q: What was the result of the Diet of Worms?
The Diet of Worms, by the way, was an assembly of the Holy Roman Empire held in the 1500s. It was the 1500's so yeah, diarrhea probably happened.
A student printed off a "fake news" type article to bring in as an example of creative writing. Okay, but actually...
I teach Spanish to a small community with some interesting demographics. I give them bonus questions using the little blurbs that sometimes appear in the book.
Question: "Who was Frida Kahlo?" Student: "The painter with the eyebrows."
A group of kids in my 9th grade health class had a presentation on smoking cigarettes. They started the presentation with "Did you know, 100% of smoker will die?"
There's value to wording your questions specifically, if only to prevent the smartassitude of Technical TruthTM Lawyers.
What I asked: take an adverb and verb combo and replace it with a stronger alternative. E.g., "quickly ran" is changed to "dashed," or "galloped," or "sashayed at exorbitant speed". Whatever, so long as it was an alternative that didn't rely on an "ly" adverb.
What I got from one student: "quickly ran" is changed to "even more quickly ran." "Laughed happily" is changed to "laughed very happily." And so on.
I was teaching 11th and 12th grade AP environmental science. We were taking an examination on water. The question was in multiple parts, and one of the parts asked the students to state two examples of materials which are removed by primary wastewater treatment processes. Anything large and insoluble would have been a good answer - sticks, rocks, leaves, bags, paper, fem products, etc.
One of my kids, who was placed in this class conceivably because the counselors thought he could handle it, answered "Deepers and doo doo."
We assume he intended to say 'diapers' and 'feces,' but who the hell knows?!?
A student said that you lose weight by breathing, and actually it's true. All the carbon from your fat ends up in the carbon dioxide that you breathe out.
In our U.S. History lecture, the teacher asked an open question: "What was the direct result of Manifest Destiny?"
Classmate responded, "A lot of fcking problems."
In a kindergarten class recently, students had to cut out the letters of their name and glue them on one half of the page, the rest of the letters they put on the other half. One of the kids said 'so, I can just cut out the whole block of letters and glue them on?' Technically, he was right. So I told him it was to practice cutting as well so he could cut them into strips of 5.
1A and 1B
Obligatory "Not a teacher but" I was taking a test in college about the legal stuff in construction. There was a question about a hypothetical dispute between a sub, GC, and the owner as question 1a. Question 1b asked how knowledge of a certain law would "impact your answer for 1a".
I had no fucking clue what it was talking about so I responded with "Knowing whatever that is would likely improve my answer". I got half credit for 1b.