Teachers Recall The Worst Parent-Teacher Conferences They've Ever Experienced
Parents VS Teachers....
Parents!
Your babies are not perfect.
What happened to the days when we believed and supported our educators?
The children are the future but they need a ton of help along the way and the best guide should be our teachers.
So parents.... when they want to meet you, it's for the greater good.
Redditor winnie115 wanted to discuss how parents and educators communicate (poorly) by asking:
"Teachers of Reddit, what is the worst parent conference you've ever had?"
Interest Over.
Former teacher. First parent teacher conference. I put a lot of time into preparing this evening as an innocent 22 yo. I gave a ten minute speech to about fifteen family members, they didn't seem to care at all. Then I met with each individually, and they were combative. Some stunk of alcohol. One straight up yelled at me for my grading system. It was basically the beginning of the end of my interest in teaching. hold_my_lacroix
In very proper English....
From the same parents evening...
- parents of a student with a name fancy enough they my as well have been called lord and lady Ashcroft. They greet me with "it's a pleasure to meet you! You aren't an idiot like all the other teachers" in very proper English. Was gobsmacked. Spoke to a colleague later who said "did you speak to X's parents? They just sat down, called me an idiot and left!" CountPeter
"she's a brat".....
From my wife, teacher of 5+ years: 2nd grade parent had earbuds in her ears the entire time, and looked at her phone the entire time. When my wife complimented her daughter and told her that she was doing well, the parent laughed and said "she's a brat". MuvHugginInc
Truth Hurts.
I mean, it wasn't exactly a bad conference but one time the mother of a six-year-old second grader was pushing for her son to skip second grade and go to third grade. I tried pointing out that even though his reading and math skills were excellent, advancing him further would create a gap in his knowledge about science and social studies. Not to mention the fact that he is very immature and socially sticks out. She kept on insisting that age was just a number.
Finally, I turned to both the mother and father and asked when he is a 15-year-old senior in high school, what 18-year-old woman is going to want to go to prom with him. Then Dad was like hold up. homerbartbob
What are your thoughts?
I'm a school psychologist, not a teacher. But we still have lots of parent conferences. Worst one: spent a good half an hour explaining that I was diagnosing her son with autism and why. Everyone agrees, including the parent, and we move into developing his IEP. Twenty minutes into this we're talking about his behavior plan and she asks me "I'm wondering, do you think he might have autism?" MiraRuth
caio.
Wife just told me another one:
The last conference of the day, the parent (a guy) started the meeting with saying "do you feel that? Do you feel nervous?" Implying a "connection" and nervously laughing. My wife felt super uncomfortable because he seemed to be coming on to her, and sharing personal details about his life. No matter what she said "okay," "have a nice night," he'd just start another conversation and keep trying to talk. She eventually had to just grab her stuff and basically leave for the day to get him to leave. MuvHugginInc
Giphy5 Paragraphs In...
The one where a parent told me it was unreasonable to expect my sophomore US History students to write a five paragraph essay. She claimed she had expertise as she "used to be an English teacher."
Honestly, though, I've been VERY lucky in my career to have never had a seriously bad parent-teacher conference. bcal16
No Fudging....
I had a parent teacher conference where I basically got called a racist. The father was like, can't you see my son is not like other kids, give him the benefit of the doubt (heavily indicating his race). This was after his son cheated on a test. The best part was the father was a Vice Principal at another school but his son went to our expensive private school because he didn't want him in the public school he worked at. The kid eventually confessed. And to be 100% transparent my school is incredibly diverse. He was far from the only kid there who was his race.
Admin wasn't super supportive. They ended up fudging his grade to please the parents after I gave him the 0. They wanted me to do it but I refused. I told admin they can do whatever they want with the grade book but I'm not touching it. viktor72
Speak Out.
Generally speaking, the parents who see their children as an extension of themselves are the worst to conference with. The parents feel personally attacked when their child has a minor setback, and can't imagine their child being anything less than they are. Collin_1000
GiphySo many...
I have three that stick out.
1 - Student was a repeat freshman, constantly dirty and full of hickeys. Tried to get high off of his inhaler, definitely doing drugs and high as a kite most of the time. He was failing everything for the second time. The school called a meeting with mom... mom comes in covered in dirty ho clothes, hickeys, and meth teeth. She couldn't understand why she was called in.
2 - Parent teacher conferences: student brings her mom into the room and points out the 40 random scholarships I have listed on the wall (duct tape dresses for prom, left handed scholarships, race based scholarships, all sorts of stuff). The mom looks at the wall for 2 seconds, turns to her daughter, and says, "You will never get any of these. You're too stupid."
3 - Open house: parents come in to visit each class briefly. Mom randomly stands up, points to her kid, and says, "This one here? She's trouble. She don't listen. She's always got gum in her mouth. So help me god, if you see her with gum, you make her stand in the corner with the gum on her nose all class. You call me if she steps out of line, I'll slap her back in." Oooookay. omgitreallyhappened
No Angels...
Most parents are awesome and I enjoy visiting with them. A very small minority will try and verbally abuse you or bully you. Kids will twist words and incidents so they don't get into trouble. Some parents can't believe their angels can do anything wrong. I don't know why they believe that. I've screwed up as a kid and a young adult. My kid is no angel. (That's not to say that teachers don't screw up and twist things either. ) blasphemusa
Thumbs Up.
I had to tell a well-known gang leader that his son was failing my class.
Actually went better than expected, but the anticipation was intense. cookiescoop
GiphyPeople Reveal The Things That Are Unnecessarily Expensive | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Sometimes shelling out the extra cash for better quality is totally worth it. It can cost money to keep replacing cheaper items repeatedly. But some items ar...The Jig Is Up!
I had a student fail my class and I thought that I'd been emailing with their parents throughout the semester. Turns out the parents did not speak English and relied upon their children to translate for them. Their older sibling was studying abroad, so the student was able to hide everything from the parents. Once they came home, the jig was up. The parents could not believe their child had lied for months, so we had a face to face meeting. It was so awful to see their faces crumble in shame and humiliation as their oldest child translated the meeting. pythiadelphine
for the pay....
I was talking to the parent of a kindergarten student and telling her ways she could help her child at home. She suddenly said, "Do you get paid to to do this?" I said, "Uh, yeah." She said, "Well I don't!" Then swiped all the papers off the table, stood up and walked out.
I was like, ooooookay then. Wishyouamerry
Damn Rat.
Not quite a parent teacher conference, but it was after I got my first cell flip phone long ago when they were just coming out. An 8th grader stole it. My wife called the phone and the guy who answered was dumb enough to give her his name.... It was a parent who was using it. The kid confesses to taking it and the parents came in. Admin confronted the parents about it explaining that we just wanted the phone back. The parents tore in to the kid for confessing he took the phone and told him his birthday was cancelled for ratting on them. cleanmachine2244
I teach seventh grade, and the one that stands out to me was from my second year in the classroom. Probably it sticks in my mind because I didn't feel confident in my job yet, so this interaction I had with a family threw me for a loop.
Once, I had a struggling student come in with their family, and I was so eager to talk to his family. I was hoping that we could have some kind of constructive conversation that would lead to the kid's improvement in my class. I had pulled up their grades to explain why he had a D in my class and what he needed to work on to bring his grade up. Next thing I knew, the parents started completely berating the kid, calling him stupid and lazy, telling him that he was a failure - it was horrible.
The heartbroken....
Even worse, the kid was on the autism spectrum, so he just really didn't have the kind of emotional stability to handle something like that. Heck, I don't know what seventh grader would be able to handle something like that. He started crying, and his parents apologized to me (to me??) and led him out into the hallway where they continued (!) to berate him. It was rough.
I tried to smooth things over by talking them through the kid's strengths, but they just wouldn't be deterred. The kid was sitting on the ground in the hallway just sobbing next to the lockers and his parents just left - presumably to go conference with more teachers.
I tried to console the student, but I don't think there was much I could have done. He was just completely heartbroken. msfriedmana
"too stupid to cheat"
Parent was irate because I caught her 6th grade daughter cheating on a test. Parent said daughter was "too stupid to cheat" and kept calling her dumb and an idiot. The daughter was right next to her, hearing her mother talk all this negative stuff about her. Absolutely broke my heart. n0isep0lluti
I think my mouth was agape the entire time.
An unintended one when an undergrad I was teaching requested a formal meeting with me, her mother, and the dean of the college at the university.
She had received a 97% on an essay, and she and her mother were both in tears demanding that I be reprimanded and re-trained for "unfair grading policies."
I think my mouth was agape the entire time. Mondayslasagna
Be Inquisitive....
Once had a phone conference with a parent who accused me of forcing students to come to my house and build a garage for me. The parent said his son was being ostracized and punished by me for refusing to come to my house and work on my garage. The only thing I could do was laugh at him. I thought it was a prank and hung up on him.
Next morning, I had to meet with my principal because the parent had called and threatened to call the local news media about my classroom if I wasn't immediately fired. The parent left screaming rant on my principal's voicemail. We listened to it a few times and got some good laughs. The parent claimed I was making the kids drive to my house during class and if they didn't I was failing them. But, his son had an A- in the class and the drive to my house was longer than the class period.
The parent was obviously nuts, but it had to be treated as credible. So, there was an "investigation" and there may even be a report about it in my personnel file. I've had other weird interactions with parents, but that one definitely takes the cake. CoolioDaggett
Sad Truths....
One time a child peed all over the bathroom in the school. When we brought it up with the parent, they demanded to know why we didn't teach them how to properly use the bathroom. Responsible_Attitude
My gf's mom is a teacher. In a very poor, mostly racial minority area. She once had a child, in 3rd grade so was on the cusp of being tested for special needs, but basically was approached as being "slow" but no serious biological developmental issues. This child, on one disgusting occasion, ate his own feces. Yes. Ingested, on purpose, his own excrement. When brought up to the mother, the response was: "we'll he was hungry!" An administrator in the room responded "then send him with some crackers!" Ugh. The horror. Abderian5
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Money makes the world go round.
It contributes to the betterment of society.
Well, that is what we're led to believe, right?
That is why so many of these big billion-dollar companies get fabulous tax breaks.
But sadly so many big-money jobs only help themselves.
In fact, a lot of fancy, money careers only focus on the green and not the people.
Redditor ThurnisHailey wanted to discuss the careers that leave little to help the world, so they asked:
"What high-paying jobs contribute very little to society/humanity?"
Anti-Robinhood
Real Estate Realtor GIF by South ParkGiphy"My sister makes a lot of money in real estate. She helps rich people get even richer."
Ieatalot2004
"To be fair, most jobs are helping rich people get richer."
nBrainwashed
Useless
"As a marketing manager, I can tell you I have one of the most useless jobs in the world."
erose994
"What do you actually do as a marketing manager? I'm just curious."
bertolintus
"Mostly wrangle the opinions of 8,000 people who all think a project should be executed differently and all feel like it needs to be done yesterday. And pass that project through a complicated and overly bureaucratic system of approvals until it inevitably stalls out in a VP's inbox, and you have to send them 3 reminder emails just to get it done."
"Other than that... Talking to agencies (at least where I work, we outsource our graphic design, social media, and advertising work to third parties), building annual strategies, planning social media and email content, and occasionally getting to do something fun like writing a blog post."
"Oh, and managing budgets. But it's budgeting season right now so that's a touchy subject."
erose994
Data Collection
"Some of the best-paid people are figuring out how to collect as much data about you as possible to show you the best adverts. Or how to shave off milliseconds off a trading decision and build better arbitrage strategies to buy and sell the same thing millions of times."
Weak_Commercial_7124
The Middle
"IT middle management. I always thought they did nothing, then I was promoted to one and now I can actually confirm it."
"Do nothing, contribute nothing. Worthless."
RedditWhileImWorking
"I honestly think middle management is all about what you make it. If you're motivated and WANT to make things happen for the better, I think you generally can, but it's also very easy as a middle manager to just maintain the status quo and literally do nothing but collect a paycheck."
TinaBelchersBF
Complicated
people love GIFGiphy"Hospital administration. Obviously, hospitals are important and are complicated systems that need proper management, but any doctor, nurse, etc. can tell you that hospital admins aren't exactly looking out for your health and safety."
dancingbanana123
It's sad to learn hospitals are a scam. Tragic.
Office Time
Staring Episode 2 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Administrators who spend a lot of time inside an office in calls or meetings but have very little to do with the hands-on work that actually advances stuff."
Ukhupa
Dirt
"I'm using a burner account. I'm a political strategy advisor which is code for opposition researcher. I work for a federal government party in my country. I research for gossip or dirt on our political opponents and feed stories to the media to disparage them and have us win elections. I feel all I do is make people more disenchanted with politics."
Clean-Elephant9363
Moochers
"During the pandemic, didn't you notice that the 'essential workers' were often paid minimum wage? Seems like the important jobs that actually keep everything running are not being paid much at all, most of the time. All the value of their labor is being sucked out of them by the wealthy moochers who just happen to own the company but never do any work."
Pipboypipboycheerio
Liars
dominic cooper preacher GIF by Amazon Prime Video UKGiphy"Megachurch preachers are evil AF."
MpVpRb
"The fleecing of gullible sheep is a story as old as humanity."
wittie2
Well, people certainly had some feeling about these career paths. What do you think? Do you have anything to add?
While we may not all want to admit it, most of us would really like to be remembered for something.
It might be something as simple as being remembered as an excellent friend or it might be something as big as winning the Nobel Prize.
No matter what it is we want to be remembered for, we all have a unique story to share, but only a select few will choose to share that story through writing a book.
Redditor Caseated_Omentum asked:
"If you were writing an autobiography, what would your opening sentence be?"
The Unreliable Narrator
"I am not a reliable narrator of my own life."
- profanearcane
"I wrote my autobiography a couple of years ago because I have bad memory issues… and this was pretty much my first line, as well."
- solargalaxy6
Good Start
"When I was born, I briefly held the record for being the youngest person alive. It was all downhill from there."
- peon47
Charles Dickens, Is That You?
"My birth was announced with notices in two English local newspapers: It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times."
- BobBobBobBobBobDave
In Hindsight
"Looking back, I realize that I brought it all upon myself."
- Keefer1970
Something Out of a Douglas Adams Novel
"…I saw a portal. The portal was called, 'Earth, the Suckiest of all Realms.'"
"There was a neon flashing arrow with the words, 'You will regret coming here.'"
"And I said, 'Well, what the f**k. How bad could it be?'"
"And so I entered…"
- Louise-the-Peas
The Big Disclaimer
"Do not under any circumstances attempt to replicate or reenact any experiences in this book."
- Spirited-Reaction257
"Put a big red DISCLAIMER on the front."
- NidzoKamikaza
"These stunts were not done by professionals or under the supervision of professionals. Please do not attempt to replicate or copy anything I recount in these texts."
- GuyNamedWhatever
Solo from the Beginning
"Neither of my parents showed up for my own birth."
- TheBoldHold
"'I was born an orphan' is actually possible and would be an epic, tragic way to start an autobiography."
- Arild11
Repressed Memories
"Most of what I remember didn't happen, and most of what I don't remember did."
- ElHoser
No Refunds
"You made a mistake buying this book."
"EDITED TO ADD: I know it's supposed to be the first sentence, but since you guys REALLY liked it, I’ll extend it a bit:"
"Seriously, you could have spent your money on anything else, yet you spent it on this. There is nothing interesting about my life. But oh well, there are no refunds, so you might as well just read it."
"This might be a fan favorite, or that one book you read a couple of pages of, then put in the drawer where it lies for the rest of eternity. But I got my money anyways so I don’t care. Good luck with the rest of your life, and good luck on maybe reading this book."
- Brotastic29
Very Meta
"In the beginning, [Anonymous] was created. This had made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
- Cultural_Bison_6306
Run, Forest, Run!
"Despite what Forrest Gump said, life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates."
"EDITED TO ADD the second sentence:"
"It is more like a box on Minesweeper: you pick a blue tile and you never know if you're safe or if your f**king brains are gonna be blown out."
- radioactiveteacup
So Unfair
"Just because my parents wanted to f**k back in 1964, I'm stuck here cleaning up everyone's f**k-ups."
- TrailerParkPrepper
"Your username seems intriguingly relevant."
- WillieFast
"Ask yourself this, is he a prepper living in a trailer park, or does he prep said trailer park?"
- nxnphatdaddy
"I want to read the book about a person who preps trailer parks."
- hp640us
What a Journey
"So I was chilling out in this super comfortable uterus when suddenly..."
- Viking_Hippie
"…I was evicted. My tenancy agreement wasn’t even up for two more weeks!"
- yoursextape
"Actually, I was supposed to have gotten out on my dad's birthday, but I was so precocious that I knew then and there that staying a couple of weeks longer was the better play."
- Viking_Hippie
"I mean, it was really nice. For nine months, I didn't have a single problem or care in the world. I had a private, heated swimming pool, could sleep whenever I wanted to for as long as I wanted to, and I could daydream for hours."
"I never felt hungry, cold, sad, worried, or bored. I was constantly waited on and didn't have to do menial work (like breathing on my own)."
"But in the end, the living space felt kind of cramped and I just went with the flow."
- karayna
Let's Be Real
"I am not the type of person who writes autobiographies, and if you're interesting you likely don't read many; I will endeavor to make this entertaining for both of us."
- Organic-Roof-8311
Multi-Genre Crossover
"This book may seem like a work of fiction; a horror story, a Shakespearean tragedy, a heartwarming tale of hope; but I assure you, everything within the confines of these pages actually happened. The good and the bad."
- Frostbyte525
While not everyone is destined to write a book, or more specifically an autobiography, there were certainly some interesting starts here that we'd love to see more of.
It's a great reminder that there are more of us out there who could write a good story if we only gave ourselves the time to do it.
When it comes to possessions, everyone is different depending on the individual's tastes and demands.
After all, one man's trash is is another man's treasure, or so they say.
Possessions can also include intangible assets like ideas, talent, trademarks, and intellectual property.
While the list of these items is endless, there are some things people shouldn't go through life without having.
This was explored specifically applying to one gender when Redditorsimmer5523 asked:
"What is something every man should own?"
Listen up, gents.
Claiming Responsibility
"His f'kups."
– lrbiester
"Hi, Proud owner of many f'kups here, trying to be better."
– ghoul_legion
Staying Humble
"A self-awareness based sense of humor. I define this as a man understanding that it's okay to be the butt end of a joke. Don't hang your pride on being untouchable... if you lean into a joke, it passes you faster and nobody at all really cares. I have found that people think I'm more confident and charismatic than I actually feel."
– ManyThat9040
Stay Confident
"Self Respect."
– ChairmanSaab
"Sorry bro I lost that years ago along with any confidence in myself."
– danktt1
"You can always get it again."
– CharimanSaab
These can be practical necessities, regardless of gender.
This Holds
"A good quality bucket. You never know when you'll need it. This applies to everyone, not just men."
– Dhampyre-supreme
"And something in the larger size range."
– cCitationX
"Hey man, it’s not about size, it’s about how you use it."
– Christmas_Panda
Odds And Ends
"Add a flashlight with spare batteries, condom and Plan B, car jack, plunger, tire iron and weapon to the list of 'it's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.'"
– 1vertical
These can definitely come in handy.
Dental Requirement
"A toothbrush."
– EnvironmentalMoney87
"I had a roommate once who didn't own a toothbrush. He just chewed gum and figured that was good enough. Some of the worst breath I've ever encountered."
– Nooples
Can't Live Without Them
"Tools, and a willingness to learn how to use them. Long term, there is practically no better investment."
– AdamOas
"The first rule of home repair and improvement : The one tool you do not yet own is the tool the next project will require."
– Proud-Wrongdoer5053
Cooking Essential
"A decent set of kitchen knives. Everyone, regardless of their gender should know how to cook."
– WhiskeysDead
"Chef’s knife, pairing knife, kitchen shears and a bread knife. Maybe a cleaver, that’s 95% of stabby/slicey/choppy kitchen related tasks."
– gratusin
These suggestions would help improve men's image.
Manner Of Dress
"Professional clothes."
"A suit is well and good, but a freshly ironed buttoned shirt and chinos with a belt will work too. A watch is also of benefit."
"As much as people say looks don't matter, it's a lie. The first thing you can possibly be judeged on is your appearance, second is how you carry yourself. Take care of your appearance, stand up straight, look forward, shoulders squared, look people in the eyes, and speak clearly."
"You don't need to always be looking or acting professional, but the ability to when necessary is invaluable. It's a great way to make a good first impression, which can open a lot of doors for you."
"You don't even need to be in good shape to do so. My brother is a heftier gent, and even still he has the ability to look very professional and carry himself in a way that draws both attention and respect."
– Nath_davies98
Stay Organized
"A good quality wallet. No velcro, football badge/camo effect effort. A nice wallet made of good quality material neatly containing all your important cards etc."
"Ladies spot these things."
– Specialist-Cake-9919
A handkerchief is something I like to carry when most guys don't.
They can easily go in men's pockets, and are not at all cumbersome to have on his person.
What's it good for?
To wipe off a moistened forehead, preventing runny noses, and wiping off armpit sweat before it appears on the expensive shirt he's wearing during a job interview.
The whole point is to never let them see you sweat–whether it's for a business meeting, giving presentations, or a first date.
Men can at least look classy on the outside under potentially intimidating scenarios with a hankie.
You're welcome.
The Best Ways To Tell If Someone's In An Open Relationship Or Actually Cheating On Their Partner
Views of commitment and monogamy in romantic relationships continue to evolve.
More and more couples have decided to open their relationships, seeing other people while still remaining committed to one another.
Dating someone who's in an open relationship can take some getting used to, however, as the feeling of knowing your new romantic interest is going home to their spouse or partner following your date is strange, to say the least.
Then too, can you ever be certain that they are in fact in an "open relationship," and not just cheating on their partner?
"How do you know when someone is really in an open relationship, and not a cheater pretending to be in one?"
When In Doubt, Don't...
"If you're feeling off about it, don't do it."- Massive-Ad7628
Bad Feeling I Anticipate Problems GIF by America's Got TalentGiphyConfirmation Needed From Both
"When the partner openly knows and acknowledges it."- EngineeringVirgin
"I was seeing a man who was married."
"He assured me that their relationship was open, that he had full permission to do whatever, and that if it would make me comfortable he would give me his wife’s number and she and I could chat."
"We saw each other for about four years."
"I went to pick him up at his house a couple times and his wife would say 'have a nice date!'."
"That’s the way to do it."
"Everything on the table."
"If there’s some sneakiness, something that makes you feel it’s not quite right, you need to listen to that feeling."- theyarnllama
"Ask to meet their partner."
"If they’re really open, it shouldn’t be a problem."- bloomautomatic
Threes Company Reaction GIF by moodmanGiphyAn Oldie But A Goodie...
"Ask them to pinky swear."- Still_kinda_hungry
Give Your Intentions A Second Thought As Well
"Agh."
"Ok so I’m in an open relationship with my partner and he hooked up with this girl, and we called her to go get a drink with us and she was like 'I knew he had a girlfriend, but I didn’t know you knew'.”
"After that I def didn’t want to hang out with her because she thought she was facilitating him cheating on me."
"Not cool."
"Intentions matter."- Physical_Witness_922
Ask And Answer
"In my experience, ask literally anything about what type of poly or open they are."
"Also anyone who isn't willing to get/show a recent std test isn't worth the risk."- Midori8751
just ask leslie jones GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyInstructional Videos
"My SO and I just make videos explaining the situation and ground rules."
"That way, our potential partner know what they are dealing with."- TagtheCat
Doesn't Hurt To Check...
"I slept with a woman who was in an open marriage."
"Her husband called to check on her and ask if she was ok."
"She said she was fine and that was the extent of the call. I think that’s a pretty good indicator."- Fit-Concern-81
It's All About The Reaction
"When they introduce you to their SO as their lover and the SO is fine with it."
"Open relationships rarely sneak around on each other."- welltriedsoul·
“'So like…. You know your husbands screwing Ashley right….??'”
“'Yeah I know'.”- AkKik-Maujaq
It Must Be A Mutual Decision
"In my experience, one of my ex's said we were in an open relationship, however I didn't know that."
"So yeah, that's a cheater."
"I briefly dated someone that was in an open relationship (the couple were long distance)."
"I spoke on the phone with the girlfriend before any sex happened so we could all be on the same page regarding boundaries and intentions, what protection will be used, testing, etc."
"It really wasn't awkward, and I appreciated knowing that everyone was aligned."- korova_chew
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyIf They Say No, That's A Problem
"Ask them if you can talk to their partner."- vivi2626
Don't Ask, Don't Tell... Don't Date!
"I've been poly for closing in on 2 decades."
"I used to run a large poly meetup in a huge metro area."
"I've seen it all, personally talked to several thousand+ poly folks over the years, etc."
"I REFUSE to engage with anyone in a DADT policy at all at this point."
"HARD F*CKING PASS, the vast majority of the time its cheating."
"And when its not I swear 95% of the time is because the couple with the DADT policy hasn't done any work around opening up their relationship and there are a LOT of problems involved."
"And I want nothing to do with that huge nightmare of a cluster f*ck anymore."
"Here's my perspective and where it comes from."
"The amount of cheating I've seen is beyond staggering."
"A huge percentage of the women I know have run into TONS of men that are cheating and try to use poly, dadt, etc as a guise to do it."
"I have zero reason to put that much trust in someone I just met. It's the same reason I ask for proof of STI testing."
"I can't understand people with the attitude of 'if you can't trust them why are you with them' the whole point is you don't know them that well why would you trust them?"
"This is one step in establishing some trust."
"The ethical part of ENM is a big big deal to me, and I refuse to be complicit in cheating and be put in an unethical situation."
"If cheating was rare it would be a different situation, but f**k it's common."
"I've verified 100% of my partners are in ethical situations, and none of them had a problem with it."
"I've had a number of their partners thank me for actually checking."
"I'll accept a few options for verification, a phone call, voice chat, a brief text exchange while my date is present, a prerecorded voice / video message, or showing me snippets of a conversation where being poly is discussed / confirmed and there is a long-standing chat history with said person."
"Most of the time I had already met or seen their partner, so I already knew it was ethical."- f*cklifehard
Schitts Creek No GIF by CBCGiphyMany couples have said that their communication and commitment has greatly improved after opening their relationships.
When one half of a couple seeing other people causes pain and unhappiness, however, it seems clear that that relationship is not open in a healthy way.
Particularly if only one person is truly benefitting from it.