We're seeing a lot of heroes emerge from this pandemic mess and some of those most dedicated humans are teachers. Our educators have had to take a crash course in method and instruction. We know that knowledge and education is an essential for life and those dedicated to the cause are there for us. The lines of discretion though have begun to blur. There are just somethings you'd never think you'd know about a pupil. Well, buckle up people.... the secrets are pouring out.
Redditor u/Kingflares wanted all the educators out there to tell us about their students's homes lives that they can never not know going forward by asking...Teachers who are holding online classes right now, what did you inadvertently learn about your students' home life during the classes?
Cat Hang Up.
GiphyNot a teacher, but a student in Uni. It's fun to see my classmates younger siblings coming to annoy them or ask for help with their school stuff. Also, it's amazing to see other pets and their habits, especially when a cat ends calls. NakoNii
Oh Craaaapppp!!!
A kid was watching Dragon Ball Z in English. Screamed ohhhh craaaaaaaapppp while Frieza got cut in half. Catacrew1
Dbz dub is actually better for me, Goku sounds better and there are some funny moments with the translation, "Don't shoot, he's not black." Killarusca
The Dingy....
Just how SOUTHERN one of my student's family is. She has no discernible accent (we are in N.C.) but her family sounds like rural Alabama stereotypes. Also, her grandmother said I was an idiot (to my Zoom meeting face!) because I said corn dogs weren't good for cats. So... I understand why this student is maybe a bit dingy. AreYouALavaBeaver
Seek Help.
Not a teacher, a therapist.
I've learned that as bouncy and distracted as kids are in my office, at home they are much worse.
It's fun to see where all my patients live though, and sometimes meet their families inadvertently (they invite the family over to see, Not breaching confidentiality) and the best part is getting to meet SO many puppies!! sexy_syzygy
3 Second Rule.
GiphyMy friend Audrey said a teacher told her that he saw a kid spill a Pepsi on the floor and start licking it up. gorgon277
Computer Time.
I volunteer at a group home, and the kids have very limited time on computers, so they had to excuse themselves from google classroom. They also have to be watched the entire time, so I sit there watching them scroll through whatever work they are given. I often act as a tutor, and help where I can. If you're a teacher and you're reading this, grade this stuff generously please. I'm in college and some of these homework packets would probably take me months to finish. userasdfghjk
In Need.
I teach at two NYC community colleges. I've had to make live lectures optional and set up my course with a lot of low-bandwidth options. Most of my students reported having consistent internet and computer access, but I'm trying to maximize accessibility. Even still, I'm expecting some students will need to bail out and try again next semester when things are back to normal. paleo2002
I'm off the clock!!!
That a week's downtime turns students into nocturnal wilder beasts. Seriously I had a math class planned this morning at 8. First student signed in at 1030 with 50 min left. 40% had signed into the class by 1400. And only now at 1915 does the questions start coming in on Teams.
You know what guys? Screw you, I'm off the clock! Jumbobog
Got You on Camera.
GiphyOne mom swore up and down that she didn't have a laptop for her kid to do google classroom.
Compromise: take a picture of her son completing the packet I sent home.
In the background of the picture: a brand new Mac just hanging out. Banthefrack
So Rude.
I was in a small group meeting on zoom with my college prof today. One of the guys didn't realize his mic was on and yelled super angrily at his family member "WTH are you doing?! I'm on a video call with my professor right now. Get the hell out!" A girl did a similar thing last week too. Apparently people speaking really rudely to their family is normal...? Ashamed_SkirtSuit
Radiating....
GiphyThat their parents limit computer time and yell at them about using a computer while they're in class. That and a lot of parents are still worried about radiation from using a monitor for too long. Ummm, our school laptops don't have CRTs. rudeteacher1955
Purr/Woof....
Mostly, I'm getting to see students' pets. I've seen rabbits, birds, and lizards now. FortressofTrees
Awww, I want to see cool pets. Maybe I should start using video for my live lectures after all. paleo2002
Eyes Wide Open....
I saw an article about a school in Finland that sent an email home to all the parents asking the dads to wear pants around the house - apparently a lot of them were walking around sans trousers in the background while their kids were videoconferencing with the class. gavinski91
The Right Way!
The students who show up a little sloppy to class, crank it up to 11 at home. Coloradical27
I literally did not get out of bed, alarm set for 7:55am, wake up, connect to zoom at 8:00am, nuts out (under the covers) THE RIGHT WAY TO LEARN! writingwithmovement
step 1 is realizing no one gives a care.....
step 2 is not giving a care....
step 3 is wanting to be comfortable.....
3 special steps, thats all you need.... writingwithmovement
Cereal Student.
GiphyI just got off an online class and my teacher said she saw a student in another class eating cereal on the kitchen floor. simmigamergurl21
Same Old....
I teach preschool and we're doing daily zoom meetings... today two kids had a meltdown bc I didn't talk to them soon enough, one kid wouldn't stop singing, one kid was playing legos on the floor, and another was literally just running around outside.
Not much different than my everyday tbh 🤷♀️. l-ilac-win-e
Mute People!!
Student here but my first lecture was today and I gotta say, people don't participate in physical classes like they do online, like wow we have 10 people actively talking compared to maybe 4
That and weird stuff happens when people don't mute mics. throwaway126400963
I'm in a usual lecture of roughly 300 & today we only had about 12 online. I was actually happier with it cause I'm such a nervous person I felt like I could connect more with my professor. TheNarwhalMom
We're Listening....
Student here, my parents yell at each other an awful lot and now classmates of mine who used to be awful to me are unusually polite. My psych teacher recently told me he's always there if I need to talk. sm0ldering_heart
I was on a call with my boss as I'm working from home and my parents were having a discussion with opposing view points that got a little loud... I hope she didn't hear them, as my door was closed. on the other hand, during a team meeting someone's got kids that are loud and behave like high energy kids so that made me feel better. TorrentialKiwi
Kiddo Time.
A lot of my high schoolers have adorable small siblings. We commiserate at their siblings and my toddler interrupting our google meets and at the end of classes we let the kiddos use the screen to hang out. Lets_Call_It_Wit
Cleo.
GiphyI've learned the names and habits of /so many/ cats and dogs. my favorite is a student's dog named Cleo. Cleo is the very best of boys, big solid lad. Hedgiwithapen
"After a recent study found 1 in 8 men under 35 admit to taking condoms to funerals "just in case", what's your experience with this?"
Select Crowd...
"I went to my grandma's funeral and hit it off with this hot nurse."
"Things were going great until my brother pulled me aside and said it was my second cousin."
'You know who shows up at funerals for old people? "
"Family members."- bumblef**kglobal
"I remember seeing a really hot chick at my grandmother's funeral."
"Immediately thought was I should chat her up."
"Then my brain went to, 'What if she's family and we just never met?'"
"I just went back to mourning."- VideoGameDana
Okay then...
"Once I was dating a girl whose dad absolutely forbid us from dating."
"Like, would lock his daughter in her room and take her phone to make sure we did not communicate."
"She told me when we spoke for a moment at Starbucks that she would date me if her dad was out of the picture."
"He died is a car crash on the freeway, and since her mom liked me invited me to the funeral."
"My girl and I sat next to each other at the funeral and couldn't wait, got it on in the parking lot of the funeral home."
"Condom was necessary."- crunchysquare
car studio GIF by ZI ItalyGiphyNever The Funeral, Always The Wake
"Ngl, some of the best parties I’ve been to have been wakes."
"In no way disrespectful, they were a celebration of the person’s life and also a massive tension release after grimness of the funeral itself."
"So I’m not surprised some people take a condom just in case."
"I’ve never done it, but I didn’t often expect to get laid regardless of situation."- Goryokaku
Oops...
"Proudly in the 7 out of 8 camp."
"But the 1 in 8 aren’t wrong."
"Heard through the family grapevine that one of my female cousins met a dude at a funeral and they banged it out the same night."
"Also turns out they were related (what’re the odds at the funeral of a relative? )."
"Distant enough they would never see each other again (different branches of her family), close enough that their family photo albums have overlapping people."- ESQBOJaguar
If You Really Think About It...
"Biologically speaking mourning/death triggers mating instincts as though that death tells the lizard brain in us that we need to procreate because death is scary."
"Scum'ically speaking, funerals typically leave people especially women in a state of fragility that leaves them vulnerable to suggestion and coercion."
"Socially speaking, some people, both men and women, seek comfort and company after/during a mourning period and when two people engage in comforting each other emotionally through a death it can trigger chemicals in the brain that cause the idea of connection or chemistry which can inevitably lead to copulation."- KURO-K1SH1
Season 18 Episode 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyBetter Safe Than Sorry!
"If you forget to bring a condom you increase the chance of casual sex with 10.000%."
"It’s a well-known fact."- Mukkeman
Not Just Men...
"I'm not a man and I've taken condoms 'just in case' pretty much anywhere."
"I've told folks to take condoms 'just in case' to a festival who I was sure would never have a one night stand and who I had never even seen mingle with any man/woman."
"It's a safety."
"The thing costs less than a dollar, but if anything somehow would happen, not having it could cost you your healthiness or independence/freedom due to a child being your new responsibility."
"Unless you absolutely, 100% am sure you will not be having sex that day, and no one will be able to change your mind - carry a condom."
"And having visited a funeral is likely not impactful enough to everyone to make them absolutely sure of that."-deterministic_lynx
It Is, Indeed, A Source Of Comfort...
"I'm a woman, but I'm going to point out that grief affects everyone differently."
"Some people get an intense need for sex when they are grieving, I speak from experience here."
"Perhaps they're carrying them everywhere already, but choosing to take some specifically to a funeral makes perfect sense to me."- Sexy-Snowflake
"My bf's son died, and his sex drive was significantly higher around that time period, I think it's just a way men deal with stress."- Arielxxxlee
Sexy Ava Gardner GIF by Turner Classic MoviesAlways Listen To Your Mother...
"When I turned 15 my mom told me to always have a condom in my wallet just in case."
"That was before people realized it was really bad to keep it in your wallet."
"So yeah I’ve been pretty much everywhere with one 'just in case'."- euphoria110
If It's Already There, Why Take It Out?
"I do too."
"I'm not going to remove the random condom that is in my wallet just because I'm going to a funeral."
"Not that I ever needed one, I'm still a virgin BTW."- azarbi
When One Life Ends, Another Begins...
"I’ve heard that the proximity of death increases the desire to make new life."
"Anecdotally, my FIL and MIL met at a funeral and 9 months later my husband was born."- KerouacsGirlfriend
Lionel Messi Hug GIF by FC BarcelonaGiphyNot SPECIFICALLY Funerals...
"We bring condoms everywhere, 'just in case', not only the funeral, you silly!"- WeetIkVeelNL
No one should be judged if they happen to have a condom with them when attending a funeral.
After all, should the moment arise, better to be prepared and safe.
On the other hand, if any of these people are attending the funeral with the intention of "getting lucky", that's just... yeah...
Redditor Spinksy48 wanted to understand the fun of letting your opponent lose by just doing nothing, so they asked:
"What is your 'never interrupt an enemy while they are making a mistake' moment?"
If the story starts to get really crazy, just wait for a break.
Then ask a question from the beginning.
I guarantee you know more of the lie than they do.
Just keep talking, friend.
Gotcha
Dashcam Hello GIF by TranscendGiphy"I let the lady who changed lanes into me run her mouth about how I rear-ended her before pulling the cop aside to show him my DashCam footage."
ThrowingChicken
A Cherry Wave
"I was accused by a neighbor of reversing out of my drive and hitting his car. He gave me the date and time I had allegedly done it and pointed to a (small) scrape on my car that supposedly matched perfectly the location of the dent on his. This was 7 weeks after the alleged event, by the way."
"I said it wasn't me but told him to contact his insurance and we'd see what they said. A few weeks later I get a letter from my insurance asking what had happened, to which I responded with the date I had bought my car (and updated my insurance) - two weeks after the supposed bump."
"He never spoke to me again but I used to give him a cheery wave every time I saw him glowering at his window."
Gazcobain
Speak Once
"In a meeting with my project manager who has not been in the office or worked a proper full day for MONTHS, she has increasingly been annoyed by people bypassing her to get things done by telling me and her other direct reports what to do."
"I was about to answer a question for stakeholders, and she told me to let her speak one sentence and will let me have my bit. I did as I was told, and she told the stakeholder a completely wrong thing about the system we were handling and made a complete fool out of herself. She got sacked this month."
choiaera
We Hated Each Other
"Guy stole a presentation from me, this is 25 years ago. We hated each other. When he started presenting I realized I had made a huge error, didn’t say anything. Let him get through it. Asked him about the error, but he couldn’t answer. This was in front of COO. Got fired, not for just that, he was an overall douche. This was before everyone was on PCs, and had one printer in one room."
Bmilvis
Whoops
Office Space GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"When a coworker who I hated got fired a few weeks after I decided to stop fixing his mistakes even if it impacted a client."
Hrekires
It's always thrilling to see the bad colleagues go!
Bye. Bye. Bye.
I will see you on the 15th
Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy"Not my story, but several years ago my older brother was fighting for custody of his son with his ex-wife. As the first custody hearing date approached, they were exchanging [un]pleasantries over text and my brother ended up saying something along the lines of, 'I'm not continuing this conversation. I will see you on the 15th.' The ex-wife told him, 'The hearing is on the 25th dumba**.'"
"So of course instead of correcting her, my brother just allowed her to keep thinking it was the wrong date, and she missed the first hearing entirely. It became the first of many mistakes she made in the court system that eventually led to my brother and the woman who is now his second wife winning full custody of his son."
Damn_Furries
Follow the Prints
"I'm working on a job site and the architect is there one day. I've been given some light fixtures for the sconces in a leasing office lobby. The fixtures are meant to be hung from a ceiling, they can't be installed on a wall. I attempt to convey this to the architect, but he brushes me off and just tells me to follow the prints."
"I turn to the apprentice and say, well you heard the man, put them up. A bit later, we hear the crashing of glass. The architect asks what was that? I said your light fixture. As I picked up a broom and dustpan to go clean up."
Ohhhhhhthehumanity
No Debt
"As I was being fired from a job, the district manager requested we record the conversation. He thought I was gonna be very upset, so I obliged. Then when he started to tell me why I was being fired he started with, 'You are gonna be graduating college soon, and we want to make sure we get ahead of you leaving us.'"
"I very calmly asked him to send me the recording right after he said that. Then later that day I called a lawyer. I now have no student loan debt."
JRTHEAMAZING
The Screams
"I reminded my ex-wife the divorce court was the next day and was invited to Get F**ked. So I went by myself, she failed to appear and pissed off the Judge so he asked what would be my desired outcome for assets and Custody of the kids. He wrote down whatever I wanted and I could hear her screams when she read the Orders from 3500km away."
comfortablynumb15
Silence
"There's a thing in law enforcement/legalese called a spontaneous utterance. Many many people will bury their own cases with these while bi*ching and moaning at their arresting officer on the way to jail."
raccoonsonbicycles
That last one is good knowledge to have in the back pocket.