We're seeing a lot of heroes emerge from this pandemic mess and some of those most dedicated humans are teachers. Our educators have had to take a crash course in method and instruction. We know that knowledge and education is an essential for life and those dedicated to the cause are there for us. The lines of discretion though have begun to blur. There are just somethings you'd never think you'd know about a pupil. Well, buckle up people.... the secrets are pouring out.
Redditor u/Kingflares wanted all the educators out there to tell us about their students's homes lives that they can never not know going forward by asking...Teachers who are holding online classes right now, what did you inadvertently learn about your students' home life during the classes?
Cat Hang Up.
GiphyNot a teacher, but a student in Uni. It's fun to see my classmates younger siblings coming to annoy them or ask for help with their school stuff. Also, it's amazing to see other pets and their habits, especially when a cat ends calls. NakoNii
Oh Craaaapppp!!!
A kid was watching Dragon Ball Z in English. Screamed ohhhh craaaaaaaapppp while Frieza got cut in half. Catacrew1
Dbz dub is actually better for me, Goku sounds better and there are some funny moments with the translation, "Don't shoot, he's not black." Killarusca
The Dingy....
Just how SOUTHERN one of my student's family is. She has no discernible accent (we are in N.C.) but her family sounds like rural Alabama stereotypes. Also, her grandmother said I was an idiot (to my Zoom meeting face!) because I said corn dogs weren't good for cats. So... I understand why this student is maybe a bit dingy. AreYouALavaBeaver
Seek Help.
Not a teacher, a therapist.
I've learned that as bouncy and distracted as kids are in my office, at home they are much worse.
It's fun to see where all my patients live though, and sometimes meet their families inadvertently (they invite the family over to see, Not breaching confidentiality) and the best part is getting to meet SO many puppies!! sexy_syzygy
3 Second Rule.
GiphyMy friend Audrey said a teacher told her that he saw a kid spill a Pepsi on the floor and start licking it up. gorgon277
Computer Time.
I volunteer at a group home, and the kids have very limited time on computers, so they had to excuse themselves from google classroom. They also have to be watched the entire time, so I sit there watching them scroll through whatever work they are given. I often act as a tutor, and help where I can. If you're a teacher and you're reading this, grade this stuff generously please. I'm in college and some of these homework packets would probably take me months to finish. userasdfghjk
In Need.
I teach at two NYC community colleges. I've had to make live lectures optional and set up my course with a lot of low-bandwidth options. Most of my students reported having consistent internet and computer access, but I'm trying to maximize accessibility. Even still, I'm expecting some students will need to bail out and try again next semester when things are back to normal. paleo2002
I'm off the clock!!!
That a week's downtime turns students into nocturnal wilder beasts. Seriously I had a math class planned this morning at 8. First student signed in at 1030 with 50 min left. 40% had signed into the class by 1400. And only now at 1915 does the questions start coming in on Teams.
You know what guys? Screw you, I'm off the clock! Jumbobog
Got You on Camera.
GiphyOne mom swore up and down that she didn't have a laptop for her kid to do google classroom.
Compromise: take a picture of her son completing the packet I sent home.
In the background of the picture: a brand new Mac just hanging out. Banthefrack
So Rude.
I was in a small group meeting on zoom with my college prof today. One of the guys didn't realize his mic was on and yelled super angrily at his family member "WTH are you doing?! I'm on a video call with my professor right now. Get the hell out!" A girl did a similar thing last week too. Apparently people speaking really rudely to their family is normal...? Ashamed_SkirtSuit
Radiating....
GiphyThat their parents limit computer time and yell at them about using a computer while they're in class. That and a lot of parents are still worried about radiation from using a monitor for too long. Ummm, our school laptops don't have CRTs. rudeteacher1955
Purr/Woof....
Mostly, I'm getting to see students' pets. I've seen rabbits, birds, and lizards now. FortressofTrees
Awww, I want to see cool pets. Maybe I should start using video for my live lectures after all. paleo2002
Eyes Wide Open....
I saw an article about a school in Finland that sent an email home to all the parents asking the dads to wear pants around the house - apparently a lot of them were walking around sans trousers in the background while their kids were videoconferencing with the class. gavinski91
The Right Way!
The students who show up a little sloppy to class, crank it up to 11 at home. Coloradical27
I literally did not get out of bed, alarm set for 7:55am, wake up, connect to zoom at 8:00am, nuts out (under the covers) THE RIGHT WAY TO LEARN! writingwithmovement
step 1 is realizing no one gives a care.....
step 2 is not giving a care....
step 3 is wanting to be comfortable.....
3 special steps, thats all you need.... writingwithmovement
Cereal Student.
GiphyI just got off an online class and my teacher said she saw a student in another class eating cereal on the kitchen floor. simmigamergurl21
Same Old....
I teach preschool and we're doing daily zoom meetings... today two kids had a meltdown bc I didn't talk to them soon enough, one kid wouldn't stop singing, one kid was playing legos on the floor, and another was literally just running around outside.
Not much different than my everyday tbh 🤷♀️. l-ilac-win-e
Mute People!!
Student here but my first lecture was today and I gotta say, people don't participate in physical classes like they do online, like wow we have 10 people actively talking compared to maybe 4
That and weird stuff happens when people don't mute mics. throwaway126400963
I'm in a usual lecture of roughly 300 & today we only had about 12 online. I was actually happier with it cause I'm such a nervous person I felt like I could connect more with my professor. TheNarwhalMom
We're Listening....
Student here, my parents yell at each other an awful lot and now classmates of mine who used to be awful to me are unusually polite. My psych teacher recently told me he's always there if I need to talk. sm0ldering_heart
I was on a call with my boss as I'm working from home and my parents were having a discussion with opposing view points that got a little loud... I hope she didn't hear them, as my door was closed. on the other hand, during a team meeting someone's got kids that are loud and behave like high energy kids so that made me feel better. TorrentialKiwi
Kiddo Time.
A lot of my high schoolers have adorable small siblings. We commiserate at their siblings and my toddler interrupting our google meets and at the end of classes we let the kiddos use the screen to hang out. Lets_Call_It_Wit
Cleo.
GiphyI've learned the names and habits of /so many/ cats and dogs. my favorite is a student's dog named Cleo. Cleo is the very best of boys, big solid lad. Hedgiwithapen
"What is the craziest conspiracy theory that you secretly believe in?"
Or The Singers Just Wanted To Travel?
"Ireland began deliberately entering bad songs into the Eurovision Song Contest in the 90s."
"After winning it consecutively for a few years it began getting too expensive to host so they sabotaged their chances of winning it."- Houlilala
They Weren't That Cute...
"Build-A-Bear came out with a bunch of new toys that were all the same shade of yellow right after their Minion launch severely underperformed."
"They had stockpiled yellow fabric in anticipation of the Minion toys selling well and getting a big production run and had to find a way to use it all."- everlasting1der
Be Careful What You Ask...
"I believe r/AskReddit is actually a data farming operation that is being used to feed AI algorithms in order to produce more effective propaganda, social control mechanisms, etc… but what do I know…" - Sackerson-502
Search Engine Instagram GIF by GiflyticsGiphyBut Where Do The Beans Go?
"This is dumb, but my mother believes that the coffee grinder machines at the gas station are fake..as in they make a lot of noise just to make you think what your getting is fresh coffee."
"When it's 'grinding' the beans, you never see the beans move."
"We called the gas station and the employee said he doesn't know how the coffee makers work since a 3rd party refills them up or changes the flavors."
"I've called her crazy but slowly i'm getting sucked into it, simply because it's fun."- james_castrello2
Which Would Be More Embarassing?
"Paul Pierce sh*t his pants during the 2008 NBA Finals."
"He sat on the floor apparently injured until he was taken off the court in a wheelchair and returned minutes later completely fine."
"Sitting on the floor and leaving in a wheelchair stopped anybody from seeing his dookie stains."- pierremanslappy
paul pierce GIFGiphyNot Exactly Helping Anyone...
"Micro plastics are making people dumber."- blackbeautybyseven
When They Could Broaden Their Client Lists...
"That the weight loss industry sets people up to fail, because if their products worked they wouldn't have return customers."- Funky_chicken89
What's Important, He's Out There...
"It’s not the cameras: Bigfoot is blurry."- QuillDidNothingWrong
Bigfoot Sasquatch GIF by MOODMANGiphyThe World May Never Know...
"North Korea had an underground nuclear testing site collapse."
"Kim Jong Un then went to China."
"North Korea declared in their state news paper that they have perfected the nuke, and will no longer do any more tests."
"My theory is that Kim Jong Un went to China to ask for help fixing their nuclear disaster."
"Xi told him to deal with it himself and to stop playing with nukes."
"Kim came back to N.Korea like a beaten dog."- Initial-Finger-1235
What Lurks Beneath Midtown
"Occultist architect Ivo Shandor outfitted most of the buildings in downtown Manhattan with a specific alloy which, when activated under the right conditions, would summon Gozer the Gozerian."- Rogue_Wallet
A Connection To Brag About?
"This is dumb lmao, there is a man who lived and worked as a teacher where I'm from in NC."
"His name was Peter Stuart Ney."
"It was during the early 1800s, there's a local legend that lives on that this man was in fact one of Napoleon's right hand men, and fought alongside him even."
"It's been disproven apparently by the French government over the years, it's just funny how this guy was supposedly executed in 1815, just to show up over in NC as a teacher with the same surname and military expertise just 1 year later."
"They say he was a skilled fencer, and he had precise military knowledge even though he was just a teacher for the local school system."
"On his deathbed he supposedly confessed to being one Marshal Michel Ney, the 'Bravest of the Brave', according to Napoleon."
"Wild story but part of me just fully f*cking believes it's crazy enough to be true."
"Records indicated he had shown up in Charleston SC in 1816, just a year after this Michel Ney was executed in France."
"Idk, it's just a crazy story."- actuallyjayft
pizza emoji GIFGiphy...Aside From The Fact That Fairy Tales Are Public Domain...
"Disney only do remakes to retain copyright on the stories."- AndPlagueFlowers
Likely True For Some Of Them...
"All those crazy Boomers have lead poisoning."- octavialovesart
Bodes Well For Online Dating Too...
"The Empty Internet Conspiracy."
"A large part of the population of the internet and, thus, a large part of interactions on the internet are completely fake."
"Just faceless chat bots tooling around; generating social media posts, YouTube comments, and opinion articles on news sites."
"With the rise of AI generated essays and research papers, it's becoming easier to draw lines between those papers and how random news articles can read in a way in which a human would never write."- Karmit_Da_Fruge
Internet Netneutrality GIF by Ryan SeslowGiphyAs long as people keep these beliefs to themselves, and don't try to promote them, then they have every right to believe these rather dubious stories are true.
And who knows, some of these stories are so far-fetched, perhaps the only way they came to prominence was because they actually happened.
Redditor pambannedfromchilis wanted the wealthy to spill the deets on being wealthy, so they asked:
"What is something only a wealthy person would know?"
Tell me the secrets. Just first let me get a pen and paper.
Private Listings
I Am Rich Nene Leakes GIFGiphy"You can opt not to be on those 'wealthiest people' lists - for a price."
draggar
"The number of people that actively avoid those lists is far higher than the number of people on those lists. Also, some people actively manage the amount the list shows."
Ragnel
Call Me
"The phone numbers from people who could help you out of any (even bad) situation."
purevenuscookieslog
"All you need is one person with the right phone number and worth that level of protection."
There is a neighborhood in Colorado Springs with a large number of former generals, nuclear scientists, corporation directors, etc. Within 5 minutes of a burglary alarm going off, the criminal was dead. I can assure you that the Colorado Springs police can't respond that quickly."
jeffh4
HELP!
"The less help you need, the more you get."
manIDKbruh
"You have access to favorable credit lines with better rates than ordinary folk. They just throw money at you when you have money."
dbx999
"Bob Hope used to say 'a bank is a place that'll lend you money, but only if you can prove you don't need it.'"
tommytraddles
Premium Help
"How to fully use a hotel concierge service."
Firebolt164
"Was in Australia at a nice hotel. Wanted to go to Royal Observatory but there were no tickets that evening - only the evening we could make it. Ended up in casual conversation with the hotel concierge. At some, told him how much we were enjoying our visit and he asked if there was anything disappointing."
"I said only that we could not get into the Royal Observatory. He said he’d see what he could do, catching me by surprise having been unfamiliar with what a concierge does before then. That night my wife and I were looking at the Jewel Box through the telescope at the Royal Observatory."
arriesgado
Celeb Encounters
Rihanna Boat GIFGiphy"You can rent celebrities for your private events. Not just musicians, but bonafide actors and actresses."
MediumRareTaint
"I remember a few years ago the founder of Lululemon, Chip Wilson, had the Red Hot Chili Peppers play in his backyard here in Vancouver. We could hear them from the beach below."
madam1madam
If had the money to rent people for private events, Adele would have plans forever!
What is Rent?
Alicia Silverstone My Bad GIFGiphy"Have a friend who is moving to the Bay area. To work for a non-profit. Part-time. She didn't know what her salary would be."
minervazahara
Fly High
"Private jets come with different size luggage compartments."
thinkx5
"I mean, do all cars have the exact same size trunk? No, some are roomy as sh*t and some are teeny. It makes sense that different models from different manufacturers would have different sized/shaped compartments, especially given there are some that seat 4 passengers and some that seat 14."
fireandlifeincarnate
Member-Owned
"The difference between an equity country club and a membership country club."
smurfsundermybed
"Some country clubs have vested ownership (ie 100% member-owned) while others are owned by corporations. It really isn't always a prestige thing, many older clubs in the sticks only came about because they were member-owned and built by a group of families."
"Of course, nearly all of today's old-school elite courses started out as member-owned but that doesn't mean all member-owned courses are elite."
Salamok
"Yeah, this is a good one. Also, the understanding that you can't just walk into most private clubs, write a check for whatever the fee is and become a member. Most of the equity clubs have a white ball/black ball system too, similar to fraternities, where two or three blacks DQ you."
xkulp8
When in Need
"The VIP hotline number at the children's hospital when your kid needs urgent care but there's a big wait in the ER (but your kid isn't sicker than anybody else's kid in the ER), and you won't get to the front of the line. Blew my mind when a very wealthy friend told me he did this for his child (the friend's father was a huge donor to the hospital). More power to him, but there is the wealthy and then there is the wealthy."
off_mode_auto
The Most Valuable
Seth Meyers Time GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"That wealth is not what people see. It's what people don't get to see. That the most valuable asset is not things, but time."
shidored
Whoever said money can't buy happiness is lying.
There is the biggest secret.
