Teachers Confess Their Biggest Fears About Returning To The Classroom Post Pandemic
Reopening schools in the era of the virus is an absolute mess.
Sure, administering lessons via video sharing is not ideal. Attention wavers even more than usual, teachers are burdened by the Goliath task of adapting lesson plans to the platform, and parents are forced to work from home while also acting as a psuedo teacher's aid.
But a recent Reddit thread makes one thing clear: many teachers would rather stick with those difficulties than go back to school prematurely. The countless dangerous factors are enough to make their--and our--heads spin.
Teachers who actually do the work can she light on the nitty gritty of the reopening animal. Logistical pitfalls that teachers have learned over the years allow them to predict where the issues would arise. Their responses on the thread paint a nuanced, scary picture.
makeshift_permanence asked, "Teachers of Reddit, how are you feeling about doing in-person classes right now?"
Racing Thoughts
"What happens if I contract COVID? Do I need to have two weeks of lessons prepared for a substitute at all times? Can there possibly be enough substitute teaching candidates out there to fill all the gaps left by COVID diagnoses or suspected COVID diagnoses (or contact with COVID)?"
"Substitutes already do not make a living wage for their work (or if they do, it's barely so); I can't imagine they're going to be more enthusiastic about going to schools under these circumstances."
"Bathroom breaks/tissue/drinks. Kids are kind of gross already. To maintain top flight cleanliness and social distancing, I feel an inordinate amount of class time will be devoted to routines."
"I envision super long bathroom breaks so everyone has a chance to have the bathroom to themselves. Time out of every hour to clean or wipe down laptops, manipulatives, desks, etc."
"We already spend a lot of time on routines (pre-COVID) so doubling down makes me wonder exactly how much time will be left to actually try to teach."
"What happens under a worst case scenario situation? Our student body has a lot of grandparents standing in as primary guardians. What happens if a student contracts COVID at school and takes it home to their advanced age primary caretaker?"
"Is our small community prepared to take responsibility for the preventable death of a student's primary guardian?"
-- rake2204
The Damage is Done, and More Will Come Either Way
"In the UK (English) Secondary Schools are are due back in full in September with no expectations of social distancing and very little guidance for risk assessment. I work in the worst affected borough of London where huge numbers of our kids have lost family members."
"Over 50% of kids live in poverty, we have the highest levels of gang crime, radicalisation, child abuse, and neglect, and only around 5 - 10% of kids in classes have had access to internet for remote learning since we went into lockdown in March."
"Many I haven't heard from at all. Social services and child protective services are already overwhelmed."
"I am worried for myself and my colleagues as we enter precarious working conditions. But mostly I worry for the kids and their community. We cannot go back to normal and many will be deeply traumatised."
"When I try to talk about how anxious I feel, nobody in my family or friendship group understands, they just tell me to stop worrying and enjoy my summer break."
-- pinjooo
Sorting Out Priorities
"College professor here. I really miss the wonderful classroom dynamics that in-person learning makes possible. Online learning makes discussions more strained and shallow. I also really love working with my students and discussing their projects one-on-one."
"That is much harder to do remotely. However, I care about my students as people, and the thought of making them and their families sick by returning to campus too soon makes me very worried. I want them to get a good education, but not at the expense of their health and well being."
"I would rather work twice as hard to make online learning successful than risk them getting sick or losing parents and grandparents to this illness."
Harrowing Circumstances for Data Collection
"Our start date got pushed back 2 weeks, then it's 9 weeks online. that buys 11 weeks to figure out the smart thing to do next. there will be plenty of data from the schools that are pushed to open sooner."
"Can someone explain why the white house isn't doing mask-optional public tours if schools are being pushed to open?"
-- cesarjulius
Ground Zero
"I'm terrified. I work at a high school in Texas. Last year my largest class had 36 students. Between kids not having school supplies, passing in the hallways, gym, sports, discipline, & teenage hormones I know for a FACT that social distancing & keeping things clean can't work."
"If full grown adults refuse to wear a mask then imagine 1000s of teenagers. Our school has a daycare too, with babies. It's too risky & it's unfair to ask us to risk not only our lives but the lives of our students. This is not a hoax."
"There is no getting back to normal. We either have to accept it or risk certain death. I am not exaggerating with any of this."
-- BlkMsFrizzle
The Elephant in the Room
"Tbh, I'm terrified to go back and I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety around the pandemic this whole time."
"The thought of going back to college where the students are going to continue throwing huge parties and not giving a sh**, and then coming to class to infect everyone else absolutely freaks me out."
-- ZOSOtelecast
Heroes, Within Reason
"I am a school librarian at an elementary school with 900 students. I am young. I have no children. I am healthy."
I am f***ing terrified."
"I may love being a 'hero' to your kids, but I did not sign up to be an actual 'knowingly lay down your life' hero. The fact that so many are urging us to go back to 'protect the economy' shows just how f***ed this whole system is."
"Staying home is absolutely causing trauma for everyone, staff and students. But will it cause more trauma when their teacher, principal, para, custodian, dies? Not to mention their grandma or aunt or parents or classmate."
"'Only .2% of kids will die'" Devos touts. In my district, that means 4. 4 student deaths in a district of five schools. Not to mention the teachers or family members."
"I am f***ing terrified."
-- spoonugget
Rock and a Hard Place
"I'm an elementary music teacher. My job is to have kids sing, play games in the room with others, play instruments, and learn how to be good human beings. I see every single kid in the school."
"I am so fearful."
"My entire class is pretty much upended by in person classes. They can't sing because obviously, they can't play instruments (percussion/string) because they'd have to share the instruments with each other."
"We can't play games because the games are meant to encourage playing an instrument or singing a song, and also include group/partner work."
"And if they expect me to do that anyways, then I'm not comfortable with that in the slightest."
-- Zenku390
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Married People Explain What They Miss Most About Being Single
Reddit user Dramiotic asked: 'Married people of Reddit, what do you miss about being single?'
Young couples in love aspire to cement their adoration by taking a walk down the aisle.
And while many happily-married couples don't have any regrets about exchanging vows, it doesn't mean a spouse never reflects fondly on a time when they were single.
In all deference to those who are married, there's nothing wrong with a spouse feeling nostalgia every now and then.
Strangers online who are married shared their thoughts about a former status when Redditor Dramiotic asked:
"Married people of Reddit, what do you miss about being single?"
One thing that annoyed Redditors was misplaced items.
Disappearing Objects
"Things being where I left them."
– dramioneff
"That is one thing my wife does that is a head scratcher. I wear contacts and it is very important to her that my empty contacts case is in the cupboard under the sink. For the longest time, I wore shoes that even though they had laces, i could just slip my feet into them. My new shoes need to be tied and untied. I'll put my old shoes on the basement steps for when I need to quick run out garbage, but she'll always take them down to the basement at the bottom of the stairs. Why can't I just leave those things there? It's a small inconvenience, so I just let her have her quirks, but I don't fully understand it."
– OffTheMerchandise
Comb Caper
"When I was younger, I used to wear my hair longer. I also went to work early, which meant that I'd shower and be gone before my wife (and kids) got up."
"My only request was that there be a comb in the bathroom so I could comb and straighten my hair after my shower in the morning. If I can just have that, I'll shower, get dressed, and be out the door without waking anyone. Please dear, can you just leave the comb in the bathroom? Please?"
"But too many mornings I'd get up early, take a shower, and then be without a comb. I'd have to come out of the bathroom and start turning on lights, making noise looking for a stupid comb in my wife's purse or somewhere else in the house, while my hair is all frazzled and I'm half dressed and everyone is still sleeping."
"To mitigate this, I tried making sure there was a comb in the bathroom the night before. I'd buy a pack of 10 combs and put them in the bathroom, but they would all be gone within a few days. I'd hide one comb with my stuff in the bathroom. But 9 times out of 10 there would be no comb anywhere in the bathroom when I needed it."
"The only solution that worked was for me to hide a comb in my sock drawer. And I hid a backup in my underwear drawer. Worst case I could quietly go from the bathroom, grab the hidden comb, take care of my hair, and return it, without waking anyone up."
– 15all
Another added factor complicates things.
Not Getting Anywhere
"Being able to go somewhere ten minutes after I decide I want to."
– Certain_Note8661
"That's my only regret. It's not marriage that stopped it though. It's the kids."
– mysteriousbloodfart
On Their Time
"Incredibly impossible. Whatever their schedule is, that's your schedule. Wife's on a night shift tonight and is getting ready to leave in a few minutes. Pre-kids if she was on a night shift I'd essentially be able to do whatever I wanted. These days, one has school tomorrow and the other's at daycare. So I have to cook dinner now (as soon as I submit this post actually), and then as soon as that's done it's shower time, then bedtime."
"And once they're asleep, I get to clean the house so it can be destroyed again tomorrow afternoon when they get home."
– _ficklelilpickle
Delays And More Delays
"The Bluey episode, Sticky Gecko, encapsulates it perfectly. Bluey’s mom spends nearly the entire episode trying to get the kids ready to go the park, and the she is trying to be on time because the other mom they are meeting with is a stickler about being late. Finally Bluey’s mom snaps and says they aren’t going because nobody is getting ready. The girls finally get ready and they start heading out the door, when Bluey’s mom gets a text from the other mom saying they are running late."
"The show is really amazing because while it is ultimately a kids show, there are tons and tons of separate parent themes in basically each episode."
– 6BigZ6
Sole Decision
"Not having to consider anyone else when making a decision."
– Haunting_Assistant66
Quiet time is valuable and is often missed.
Enjoy The Silence
"Being able to come home from work and not speak a single word."
– Dull-Pickle4040
Working Out A System
"Both my husband and I have very socially demanding jobs so we’ve come to the agreement that the first hour (some days, hours) we sit in silence together (or separately) and just do our own thing. Usually it’s zoning out redditing on the couch on our own devices and we just end up sending memes and screenshots to each other. Quietly. It’s wonderful."
– addisonclark
Cancelling The Noise
"Long comfortable silences are golden."
"My wife and I both grew up in absolute chaotic households. Her parents hated each other, divorced, but nobody ever left the house. Her dad was a worthless drunk, so her mom had to work full time plus, which meant that my wife had to be the caretaker of the other children and her drunk-@ss dad. There was constant yelling, fighting, and drama. My wife got robbed of being a child and a teenager."
"My parents never divorced, they just loathed each other, and took all of their frustration out on me, the only kid. The only respite I got was school. There were times I wouldn't come home for days because of the screaming and other bullsh*t."
"So, it turns out that my wife and I really enjoy the quiet. Of course we talk, and genuinely have great conversations, but we can go for hours just being comfortably silent together hanging out. We'll sit at opposite ends of the couch, feet touching each other, and just be. I love her, and I love it."
– ka_tet_of_one
Some things just take some getting used to.
And being married and adusting to one another's quirks is no exception.
For me, getting married didn't change a thing, since we already ironed out any issues that come with living together.
After 15 years of being in a relationship, my husband and I both said "I do," and nothing dramatically changed for better or for worse.
Maybe there is something to not rushing into things.
When people visit the United States of America for the first time, they often have a list of places to see and things to do (and eat!).
Get a hot dog in New York City before attending a Broadway show, take in the spectacular views of the Grand Canyon, or soak in the sunny beaches of Florida.
Of course, like anywhere on Earth, there are also some places and things which should be avoided at all costs.
Then too, not all guidebooks can give you all the information on things to be wary of in the most visited places in the country.
Some of which might save you a dollar or two, and some of which might actually save your life.
"Americans of Reddit, what places in America should foreigners avoid at all cost?"
Those Signs Are Not Just Decorations
"If you go to a national park and you disregard the signs, you're going to die."
"It's not a joke."
"Treat buffalo like field puppies?"
"You're going to die."
"Try to pet the brown bear?"
"You're going to die."
"See that moose and want to feed it?"
"You're probably already dead."
"Oh look, a rattlesnake! "
"*dead*"
"Want to swim in Old Faithful?"
"You're going to die painfully and completely dissolve into a soup."
"Sh*t is dangerous here and if you don't respect it you'll be lucky to die quick."- Xanza
"If you’re in a National park, listen to what the caution signs say and don’t venture off of paths."
"One is because of wildlife and the other is because humans don’t need to ruin everything in nature, just to get a photo."
"Also, don’t fall into the Grand Canyon." - Yawheyy
grand canyon arizona GIF by Go USA JpGiphyKnow Your Limits And Be Prepared
"Don’t hike into the wilderness of Colorado (especially 14ers) without knowing wilderness survival and responsibilities."
"Tourists die on our mountains and in Rocky Mountain National Park all the time."
"Do your research!"
"Altitude is no joke."- eyjafjallajokul_
Some Things Are Worth The Added Expense...
"Not American but as a visitor trying to travel on the cheap, I made the mistake of booking a greyhound bus ride."
"There's a reason why it was cheap lol."- toadkarter1993
The Name Should Be A Clue
"Death Valley in the summer especially if you consider yourself a strong hiker, and live in a cooler climate."
"It has that name for a reason."- FabFrench
death valley documentary GIFGiphyOr Even Dip Your Toes...
"The hot springs in yellowstone are not hot tubs do not swim in them."- needs_grammarly
"Steaming Acidic hot springs in Yellowstone."- SuvenPan
Every City Has One...
"Anywhere with a Rainforest Cafe and a Wax Museum on the same street is a tourist trap."- Klytus_Im-Bored
homer simpson episode 13 GIFGiphyMaps Exist For A Reason
"Avoid going to one location thinking another location across the country is a short trip."- Jebediah_Vorbeck
So Much For "Brotherly Love"
"The Kensington area of North Philadelphia."
"Don't."
"Just don't."- amhildreth
Even If You're A Night Owl
"Most of Downtown Los Angeles at night."
"When the streets get quiet and the locals go home, that's your cue to go back to your hotel or a more popular hotspot."- muststayawaketonod·
los angeles city GIF by The Broad MuseumGiphyAracnaphobia!
"Pueblo Colorado."- External-Traffic-916
"F*ck Peublo and its mass Tarantula Migration."- paustulio
Not The Where, But The What
"It's not 'places' as much as 'situations' that you should avoid."
"Depending on where you're from, you'll have some of these instincts, but not others."
"It's not all or nothing."
"But here's some situations I can see happening to a European, as an example."
"Getting stranded in the desert."
"Whether you're hiking without water, or driving too far on a single tank of gas, there's a real risk of being stranded without very immediate help, and no cell reception."
"Underestimating travel time."
"You're not going to see NYC and LA on the same trip."
"They're three time zones apart."
"They are exactly as far apart as London, England and Baku, Azerbaijan."
"You'll either be driving for a week, or flying."
"Even things that seem close, like NYC and DC, are not actually that close."
"It would be about 6 hours of driving or train to get from one to the other."
"Trespassing."
"It is taken VERY seriously here, and you could wind up shot if you are on the wrong person's land."
"We do not have the right to roam."
"And we do have the right to bear arms."
"Some states even have 'castle laws' which considers trespassing to be sufficient reason to shoot someone in 'self defense'."
"Any places people are mentioning are places that Americans wouldn't go to either if they could help it."
"But if I can say one place in particular, it would be Camden, NJ."
"It's just across the river from Philadelphia, and has a couple of tourist draws like the Aquarium or the concert venue, but anywhere that's not those specific places is incredibly unsafe."- pHScale
Season 9 Reaction GIF by The OfficeGiphyLike any country, America has its fair share of underwhelming and unsafe destinations.
Thankfully, most of these places aren't written up in guidebooks, and won't be high on the list of any foreign visitors.
Sadly, guidebooks still might not stop them from shelling out loads of money for very mediocre food at a noisy theme restaurant...
Our ancient ancestors had their own habits; some were strange and bewildering, others were nearly identical to those we practice today. Looking back through history, one might be surprised to find the daily lives of the ancients weren't so unrecognizable. But then again, there are still plenty of ancient habits that leave us scratching our heads.
1. Ground-Breaking Discovery
Recently, archaeologists working in Italy’s Caverna delle Arene Candide found a heap of rocks. Not exactly headline news, but these rocks had been carried up from a nearby beach and broken in a consistent, uniform fashion, and similar-sized pieces had been taken from each one. It appears that Neolithic Italians broke the rocks as a funerary rite—the rocks themselves may have represented lost loved ones, and breaking them symbolized the person dying.
2. Shake On It
person holding hands of another personPhoto by Sincerely Media on UnsplashThe tradition of greeting another person by shaking hands dates at least as far back as the Ancient Greeks. One column at the Acropolis even shows the Greek goddess of marriage, Hera, shaking hands with the Greek goddess of wisdom, Athena.
3. A Little Pick-Me-Up
Nowadays we have Viagra and Cialis, but Pliny the Elder suggested a bevy of ancient Roman aphrodisiacs that reads more like a witch’s shopping list than a doctor’s prescription. To put the pep back in your step, Pliny suggested the yolks of pigeon eggs, in honey, mixed with hog’s lard, or sparrows eggs, or a lizard drowned in one’s own urine. If that didn't work, you could always wear “the right testicle of a cock.” I’ll pause long enough for you to stop giggling.
4. For The Ladies
brown falcon on treePhoto by Photos By Beks on UnsplashGot it out of your system? Ok, moving on: For ladies with low libido, Pliny advised ingesting a vulture’s tongue, or wearing a patch of wool soaked in bat’s blood on top of the head. It seems so obvious, doesn't it?
5. Just ’Browsing
Nothing made a Greek woman feel more attractive than having a thick, swarthy unibrow. To the Greeks, the unibrow signaled a combination of beauty and brains. Greek women would go to great lengths to get that perfect forehead mustache, lining their brows with kohl or soot, or even using tree resin to affix fake eyebrows made of goats’ hair to their foreheads.
6. Of Corset Was!
white and brown striped textilePhoto by Jamie Coupaud on UnsplashYou probably associate the fitted corset with those breathless Victorian women who, though they maintained their figure, looked constantly on the verge of fainting, but they weren't the first to wear them. The corset goes all the way back to the Ancient Minoan women of Crete, who wore similar restrictive bodices. The Minoan corsets were likely the first fitted garments ever worn.
7. To Be Taken With A Grain Of Salt
Popular superstition states that, if one should spill some salt, one can counteract the bad luck by throwing a pinch of salt over the shoulder. That practice actually goes all the way back to the ancient Assyrians. The superstition was passed on from them to the Egyptians, and then the Greeks, and the Romans, all the way to today.
8. Stairway To Heaven
an egyptian scene with a man offering a bowl to a womanPhoto by British Library on UnsplashThe same is true of walking under ladders—the Egyptians came up with that one. Because a ladder leaning against a wall formed a triangle, representative of the holy trinity of Egyptian gods, to walk through was considered sacrilegious. Naturally, that superstation lent itself perfectly to the early Christians. I always just thought it was because you're likely to get something dropped on you if you walk under a ladder.
9. As It Nappens
Just like the Spaniards with their customary siesta, the Ancient Greeks would insist on taking a quick mid-day nap throughout the summer. One 5th-century medical text advised that a brief nap around noon kept the body from “drying out.”
10. That Sucks!
In ancient Ireland, one showed submission to tribal kings by sucking their nipples. Bog-bodies (ancient remain found well-preserved by the chemicals in a bogs) have been found with slashed nipples, indicating that they had been driven from the throne.
11. Pour One Out
Even if you're completely out of touch, you’ve probably seen a rapper “pouring one out” in a music video. Feel free to pour one out in memory of Pac or Biggie, but you should know the practice actually began with the Ancient Egyptians, who first spilled their drinks as a tribute to their god of death, Osiris.
12. The Good Book
person's hand holding book pagePhoto by Rod Long on UnsplashThe practice of libations was continued by the Greeks. There is even mention of “pouring one out” in the Old Testament: Genesis 35:14 states “Jacob set up a pillar in the place where he had spoken with him [God], even a pillar of stone. He poured out a drink offering on it and poured oil on it.”
13. Beer For Breakfast
While the pharaohs had no shortage of delicacies to choose from—fruit and honey and wine and cured fish and all manner of roasted beasts—the Egyptian working class had a significantly shorter menu. The typical Egyptian breakfast consisted of bread, beer, and onions.
14. Sand Gets Everywhere
a group of people riding horses in a desertPhoto by Veronika Biró on UnsplashAnd sand. Lots of sand. Keeping sand out of their food was a huge problem for Egyptians, and coupled with their rough, fibrous diet and the fact that they had no real culture of dental hygiene, it meant that Egyptians of modest means usually suffered severe dental issues.
15. Chickening Out
Roman navies always kept chickens on board their ships, but they never intended to eat the birds. Rather, the chickens were offered cake. If the chickens pecked the cake, the Romans were sure to have luck in their upcoming battle. One Roman admiral, furious that his chicken wouldn’t peck, shunned superstition by throwing his chicken overboard and declared, “If it won’t eat, it can drink instead!”
27. The Stash
green palm tree during sunsetPhoto by Kym MacKinnon on UnsplashAccording to Herodotus, certain tribes to the east liked to throw bushels of marijuana on bonfires and enjoy a nice stone. As with a lot of stuff that Herodotus said, historians took this with a grain of salt, but in 2008 archaeologists discovered the tomb of a 2,700-year-old mummy in the Western Chinese province of Xinjiang.
In addition to the mummy—presumably, a shaman of the Yuehzi people—was nearly 800 grams of marijuana, worth about $8,000 to modern consumers. Also found in the tomb, a stack of Bob Marley records and a poster bearing the phrase “Legalize It.”
17. A Different Period
To cope with severe menstrual symptoms, Roman women used tampons soaked in opium, while Egyptian men were allowed—and even encouraged—to take time off work to care for their menstruating wives or daughters.
18. Don’t Sweat It
gray concrete building during daytimePhoto by Federico Di Dio photography on UnsplashAfter a big day at the Colosseum, Roman fight-goers liked to celebrate the trip by buying souvenirs. Gladiator sweat was a favorite, as was lard from the animals who had been killed during the show. The sweat was mixed with olive oil and sold as a perfume. It was also considered a powerful aphrodisiac. I'll pass, thanks.
19. Decisions, Decisions
According to Herodotus, the rule of thumb among the Ancient Persians was if something was decided upon while drunk, all people involved must wait until they’ve sobered up, and decide again. Later writers added that, if something were decided while sober, the Persians would again put the decision under scrutiny by getting drunk and seeing if the idea held up. At least they covered all their bases!
20. Puking Party
girl in grey tank top holding purple flowerPhoto by Дмитрий Хрусталев-Григорьев on UnsplashAs everyone knows, the Romans loved to party, but of course one can only party so much. The idea of any Roman feast was to eat and drink as much as physically possible. When a Roman began to feel too full, or too drunk, it was socially acceptable, and even encouraged, to induce vomiting, thereby making room for more.
It should be said, however, that it's a misconception that they had special rooms called "vomitoria" for this purpose. Vomitoria did exist, but they were special passages in theaters or auditoria designed to efficiently allow many people to exit at once. The name comes from the Latin word vomo, which means "to spew forth."
21. No Pants Allowed
The Greeks and Romans had pants, they just didn’t wear them. The Greeks thought they looked silly, and the Romans considered them “for the barbarians,” since they were customarily worn by Germanic peoples to the north.
22. Spitting Image
man spitting waterPhoto by Asael Peña on UnsplashIt wouldn’t be unusual to see a Roman spit on himself; it was something they did any time they encountered a mentally ill person or someone with epilepsy. Not only were these traits undesirable, they were considered contagious as well. By spitting on himself, a Roman was protecting himself from the spread of a disease—an action that had no basis, even in Roman medicine, but remained a widely held superstition.
23. The Cure-All
For everything that spitting couldn’t cure, the Romans swore by "theriac." The compound, invented by Nero’s personal physician, was made of 64 different ingredients, including opium and viper flesh, and was said to cure everything from poisoning to plague. Theriac remained a common item in apothecaries and pharmaceutical shops well into the 19th century, because if nothing works anyway, you might as well eat some snake parts.
24. Ancient Times
grayscale photo of round analog clockPhoto by Timo C. Dinger on UnsplashPunctual Romans carried around portable sundials, not unlike our more modern pocket watches. Each sundial came with specific instructions on how to use it based on one’s geographical coordinates and the season. But the Romans didn’t rely on a regular 60 minute hour like we do: rather, they followed the Egyptian example of keeping a 45 minute hour through the summer and a 75 minute hour in the winter. How could that not have confused people?
25. Fast Food
The Romans were a busy, on-the-go people, so it’s not surprising that, just like us moderns, they loved fast food. There were restaurants all over the Rome, many of them with windows that opened onto the street so customers could just order their food and go. I wonder if they had drive-thru windows for chariots?
17. Pompeiians Can’t Cook
brown and white concrete buildingPhoto by Yaopey Yong on UnsplashThere were more than 200 take-out restaurants in Pompeii alone. Taking dinner out was so common that many Pompeiian homes didn’t even have kitchens.
16. Vend Diagram
The Romans even had vending machines. Or at least they had the technology—the only known example, built by Roman-Egyptian inventor Hero of Alexander, was coin-operated and dispensed holy water.
28. Cone Heads
brown concrete statue of manPhoto by Tom Podmore on UnsplashLong before the spray bottle was invented, the Egyptians developed a unique way to apply perfume. They wore tall cones of resin or ox fat on the top of their heads. The cones would be infused with aromatic oils and myrrh. As the balmy night wore on, the cones melted, leaving the Egyptians coated in fragrant oil. It was considered good hospitality to offer these cones to guests at a party.
29. The Best Part Of Waking Up…
Coffee came from Africa, tea from the far east. Neither seemed to have caught on among the Romans. Given the dearth of caffeinated beverages, the Romans began their mornings with a beverage made of goat feces and vinegar. I'll stick to my bean juice, thanks.
30. Just Do It
File:15-07-05-Schloß-Caputh-RalfR-N3S 1528.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgAccording to Pliny the Elder (this guy again...), the goat dung and vinegar beverage was especially popular among chariot racers; it was kind of like an ancient version of Gatorade. The emperor Nero personally endorsed the drink, saying that it gave him extra strength.
31. Urine Luck
The Romans used human urine in industries like leather tanning, and some of these companies even paid a “urine tax” for the privilege. But that’s not all: Urine was used by the Romans as a laundry detergent, a fertilizer, and even as a mouthwash. Because, you know, nothing makes your mouth cleaner than...
32. A Brush With The Egyptians
blue and white plastic bottlePhoto by 莎莉 彭 on UnsplashIn this instance, at least, the Egyptians were centuries ahead of the Romans, and even ahead of pre-20th century Westerners. The Egyptians invented the toothbrush, and used it in conjunction with a toothpaste made of gum arabica, soot, and water that actually would have done an OK job.
33. Mint Condition
In fact, one 4th century Egyptian text offers a complete—though different—recipe for toothpaste: one drachma of rock salt, one drachma of iris flowers, 20 grains of pepper, and, of course, two drachmas of mint for kissably fresh breath. Hey, if it's not human urine, I'll take it!
34. Getting Around To It
man and woman statue under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Sergio García on UnsplashLet’s talk about bad habits for a minute. Here in the modern world, many of us have trouble getting motivated—we tend to put off starting things, even if they’re important or good for us. But don't feel so bad, even our ancient ancestors struggled with procrastination.
Putting off crucial business was so common in Ancient Greece that the Greeks had a word for it: akrasia, “the state of acting against one’s own interest.”
35. So Stupid, It’s Smart
One Greek statesman discovered a trick to help him defeat akrasia: Demosthenes shaved one side of his head (seriously). Funny, but how does it help? Demosthenes reasoned—rightly, perhaps—that he would be less tempted to go outside if he knew people would make fun of his stupid haircut. Rather than risk the mockery and taunts of his fellow Athenians, he stayed home and studied. Something to remember next time you’ve got a big exam coming up.
36. Moldy Medicine
sliced bread on tablePhoto by Helena Yankovska on UnsplashThe Ancient Egyptians applied moldy bread crusts to burns. This practice has also been found in ancient Greek, Chinese, and Serbian cultures. While none of these ancient cultures had any way to know specifically, they did seem to intuit that the microbes and antibodies active in the mold were good for fighting off infections.
37. An Eyebrow Raising Habit
Eyebrows were important to the Ancient Egyptians, as well. The death of a household cat was a serious tragedy—the Egyptians literally worshipped the furry felines—and families would often demonstrate their grief by shaving their eyebrows off.
38. The Cat’s Pyjamas
Free Images : animal, monument, statue, cat, egypt, sculpture ...pxhere.comCats were idolized by the Egyptians because of their skill at killing vermin like rats and snakes, and because they also represented fertility. When a cat died, even the cat of a laborer, it was given a noble burial, mummified, and laid to rest surrounded by pots of milk and mummified mice. We should all be so lucky.
39. Pretty Disrespectful
The practice of mummifying cats was so common that, over the course of the 19th century, British industrialists were able to import nineteen tons of mummified kitties for use as fertilizer.
40. Not Monkeying Around
black monkey sitting on rock during daytimePhoto by Benjamin Ong on UnsplashCats weren’t the only pets loved by the Egyptians; they were also known to keep monkeys. Big monkeys. Really big monkeys, like baboons, in fact. Baboons don’t live in Egypt—they had to be imported to Egypt specifically—but their popularity led them to develop a wealth of cultural and religious significance to the Egyptian people, and one was considered lucky indeed to have one of the simians in their home.
41. The Hogs Of War
The Greeks and Romans employed an unlikely ally when they went to war: Because their rivals in the east typically employed elephants, the Greeks and Romans enlisted the help of war pigs, whose squeals terrified the giant beasts.
42. The Romans Treated Their Kids Like Garbage
a statue of a person holding a staffPhoto by Clemens van Lay on UnsplashRoman families did have adoption practices—even Julius Caesar adopted his great-nephew Octavian, later known as Augustus—but it was mostly a way for the wealthy Roman elite to ensure they had an heir. For poorer families, unwanted children were often just left at the dump.
If those unwanted babies didn’t die, they were usually taken to be raised as slaves.
Where do babies come from?
One of life's greatest mysteries.
Or one of life's most solid truths.
But when we're young, we don't know all of the details.
But that doesn't mean there aren't questions.
Oh, the number of questions and curiosities.
Redditor DramaticChoice4 wanted to discuss the stork's journey, so they asked:
"How did you use to think babies were made?"
So Random
Im Pregnant Mama Said GIF by OriginalsGiphy"I thought it was like an illness, you just randomly come down with pregnancy once you're married."
cb1216
The Egg
"My friends and I had a pretty solid worldview on this A man down the street from us was rumored to have 1 testicle. This man also had 1 kid So, we deduced that when you want to have kids, the man fires a testicle into the woman, and that testicle acted as 'the egg.'"
"We realized that this would be painful for the man, but that it would also make it 'fair' since we figured that giving birth must be painful as well We couldn't figure out why some families had more than 2 kids, but that was a problem for another day."
sneekeemonkee
Home Invasion
"I thought they would just appear. Like they spawned somewhere in the house."
"No, they had to love each other very much and concentrate on that for it to happen. At least that’s the explanation I had given myself as a small child."
"Then I learned that women get pregnant, but in the dialect of the region around Venezia (Italy) where I grew up, it is common to say 'I’m buying a baby' when you’re pregnant. So I thought there was an actual place you went to purchase pregnancy... lol."
millennium-popsicle
Hold Me
"Through cuddling. My parents had me watch a movie about the facts of life. It showed a man and a woman cuddling on the couch in one scene, and then in the next, the narrator was talking about how an egg is fertilized. So, the implication was that this happened via cuddling."
Old_Army90
Born That Way
Music Video Mv GIF by Lady GagaGiphy"I don't know. I used to think that my parents were born as parents and I was born as a child, so for 2-3 years I thought that I wasn’t going to age and so my parents."
ChemicalAd1157
Kids. We were so innocent at one time.
Born that way. Cute thought.
Delivery
"Babies are made at a baby factory."
Kotopause
"And delivered by a giant bird. Dumbo (1941) messed me up in so many ways."
MadOrange64
Saliva
"I knew that kissing was involved. I also knew that sperm was involved after watching 'Look Who’s Talking' with my parents (I think there’s a scene showing the sperm traveling to the egg while talking to each other). So my 7-year-old brain assumed that somehow sperm was transferred through the saliva while kissing."
Djent_Reznor1
The Seed
"My mom explained to me that she and my dad helped God make me. So I imagined them traveling to heaven and picking out parts like it was a build-a-bear or something. So then I was very confused when I asked my mom what heaven was like and she said she had never been. I was like, I knew it... I'm adopted."
"I explained to my children (7, 6 & 4) when I was having our 4th last year that mommies have eggs in their bellies, and daddies have a seed. And then the daddy puts the seed in the belly, it goes into the egg and the baby starts growing. They asked how the seed gets in the belly and I told them I would tell them when they are older. I'm pretty sure they think it goes in through the belly button."
spidermom4
Good Faith
Pop Tv Please GIF by One Day At A TimeGiphy"My parents told me that you just had to pray for one and you can be pregnant the next day."
asn-grl
"My mom's friend thought the opposite, she would pray every night not to get pregnant because she thought that she could just get preggers randomly."
HumanHuman_2003
Prayer can only do so much.
But I'm not going to get into that aspect if it all.