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Teachers Confess Their Biggest Fears About Returning To The Classroom Post Pandemic

Reopening schools in the era of the virus is an absolute mess.


Sure, administering lessons via video sharing is not ideal. Attention wavers even more than usual, teachers are burdened by the Goliath task of adapting lesson plans to the platform, and parents are forced to work from home while also acting as a psuedo teacher's aid.

But a recent Reddit thread makes one thing clear: many teachers would rather stick with those difficulties than go back to school prematurely. The countless dangerous factors are enough to make their--and our--heads spin.

Teachers who actually do the work can she light on the nitty gritty of the reopening animal. Logistical pitfalls that teachers have learned over the years allow them to predict where the issues would arise. Their responses on the thread paint a nuanced, scary picture.

makeshift_permanence asked, "Teachers of Reddit, how are you feeling about doing in-person classes right now?"

Racing Thoughts

"What happens if I contract COVID? Do I need to have two weeks of lessons prepared for a substitute at all times? Can there possibly be enough substitute teaching candidates out there to fill all the gaps left by COVID diagnoses or suspected COVID diagnoses (or contact with COVID)?"

"Substitutes already do not make a living wage for their work (or if they do, it's barely so); I can't imagine they're going to be more enthusiastic about going to schools under these circumstances."

"Bathroom breaks/tissue/drinks. Kids are kind of gross already. To maintain top flight cleanliness and social distancing, I feel an inordinate amount of class time will be devoted to routines."

"I envision super long bathroom breaks so everyone has a chance to have the bathroom to themselves. Time out of every hour to clean or wipe down laptops, manipulatives, desks, etc."

"We already spend a lot of time on routines (pre-COVID) so doubling down makes me wonder exactly how much time will be left to actually try to teach."

"What happens under a worst case scenario situation? Our student body has a lot of grandparents standing in as primary guardians. What happens if a student contracts COVID at school and takes it home to their advanced age primary caretaker?"

"Is our small community prepared to take responsibility for the preventable death of a student's primary guardian?"

-- rake2204

The Damage is Done, and More Will Come Either Way

"In the UK (English) Secondary Schools are are due back in full in September with no expectations of social distancing and very little guidance for risk assessment. I work in the worst affected borough of London where huge numbers of our kids have lost family members."

"Over 50% of kids live in poverty, we have the highest levels of gang crime, radicalisation, child abuse, and neglect, and only around 5 - 10% of kids in classes have had access to internet for remote learning since we went into lockdown in March."

"Many I haven't heard from at all. Social services and child protective services are already overwhelmed."

"I am worried for myself and my colleagues as we enter precarious working conditions. But mostly I worry for the kids and their community. We cannot go back to normal and many will be deeply traumatised."

"When I try to talk about how anxious I feel, nobody in my family or friendship group understands, they just tell me to stop worrying and enjoy my summer break."

-- pinjooo

Sorting Out Priorities

"College professor here. I really miss the wonderful classroom dynamics that in-person learning makes possible. Online learning makes discussions more strained and shallow. I also really love working with my students and discussing their projects one-on-one."

"That is much harder to do remotely. However, I care about my students as people, and the thought of making them and their families sick by returning to campus too soon makes me very worried. I want them to get a good education, but not at the expense of their health and well being."

"I would rather work twice as hard to make online learning successful than risk them getting sick or losing parents and grandparents to this illness."

-- Netflix_and_backrubs

Harrowing Circumstances for Data Collection

"Our start date got pushed back 2 weeks, then it's 9 weeks online. that buys 11 weeks to figure out the smart thing to do next. there will be plenty of data from the schools that are pushed to open sooner."

"Can someone explain why the white house isn't doing mask-optional public tours if schools are being pushed to open?"

-- cesarjulius

Ground Zero

"I'm terrified. I work at a high school in Texas. Last year my largest class had 36 students. Between kids not having school supplies, passing in the hallways, gym, sports, discipline, & teenage hormones I know for a FACT that social distancing & keeping things clean can't work."

"If full grown adults refuse to wear a mask then imagine 1000s of teenagers. Our school has a daycare too, with babies. It's too risky & it's unfair to ask us to risk not only our lives but the lives of our students. This is not a hoax."

"There is no getting back to normal. We either have to accept it or risk certain death. I am not exaggerating with any of this."

-- BlkMsFrizzle

The Elephant in the Room

"Tbh, I'm terrified to go back and I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety around the pandemic this whole time."

"The thought of going back to college where the students are going to continue throwing huge parties and not giving a sh**, and then coming to class to infect everyone else absolutely freaks me out."

-- ZOSOtelecast

Heroes, Within Reason

"I am a school librarian at an elementary school with 900 students. I am young. I have no children. I am healthy."

I am f***ing terrified."

"I may love being a 'hero' to your kids, but I did not sign up to be an actual 'knowingly lay down your life' hero. The fact that so many are urging us to go back to 'protect the economy' shows just how f***ed this whole system is."

"Staying home is absolutely causing trauma for everyone, staff and students. But will it cause more trauma when their teacher, principal, para, custodian, dies? Not to mention their grandma or aunt or parents or classmate."

"'Only .2% of kids will die'" Devos touts. In my district, that means 4. 4 student deaths in a district of five schools. Not to mention the teachers or family members."

"I am f***ing terrified."

-- spoonugget

Rock and a Hard Place

"I'm an elementary music teacher. My job is to have kids sing, play games in the room with others, play instruments, and learn how to be good human beings. I see every single kid in the school."

"I am so fearful."

"My entire class is pretty much upended by in person classes. They can't sing because obviously, they can't play instruments (percussion/string) because they'd have to share the instruments with each other."

"We can't play games because the games are meant to encourage playing an instrument or singing a song, and also include group/partner work."

"And if they expect me to do that anyways, then I'm not comfortable with that in the slightest."

-- Zenku390

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Our ancient ancestors had their own habits; some were strange and bewildering, others were nearly identical to those we practice today. Looking back through history, one might be surprised to find the daily lives of the ancients weren't so unrecognizable. But then again, there are still plenty of ancient habits that leave us scratching our heads.

1. Ground-Breaking Discovery

Recently, archaeologists working in Italy’s Caverna delle Arene Candide found a heap of rocks. Not exactly headline news, but these rocks had been carried up from a nearby beach and broken in a consistent, uniform fashion, and similar-sized pieces had been taken from each one. It appears that Neolithic Italians broke the rocks as a funerary rite—the rocks themselves may have represented lost loved ones, and breaking them symbolized the person dying.

2. Shake On It

person holding hands of another personPhoto by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

The tradition of greeting another person by shaking hands dates at least as far back as the Ancient Greeks. One column at the Acropolis even shows the Greek goddess of marriage, Hera, shaking hands with the Greek goddess of wisdom, Athena.

3. A Little Pick-Me-Up

Nowadays we have Viagra and Cialis, but Pliny the Elder suggested a bevy of ancient Roman aphrodisiacs that reads more like a witch’s shopping list than a doctor’s prescription. To put the pep back in your step, Pliny suggested the yolks of pigeon eggs, in honey, mixed with hog’s lard, or sparrows eggs, or a lizard drowned in one’s own urine. If that didn't work, you could always wear “the right testicle of a cock.” I’ll pause long enough for you to stop giggling.

4. For The Ladies

brown falcon on treePhoto by Photos By Beks on Unsplash

Got it out of your system? Ok, moving on: For ladies with low libido, Pliny advised ingesting a vulture’s tongue, or wearing a patch of wool soaked in bat’s blood on top of the head. It seems so obvious, doesn't it?

5. Just ’Browsing

Nothing made a Greek woman feel more attractive than having a thick, swarthy unibrow. To the Greeks, the unibrow signaled a combination of beauty and brains. Greek women would go to great lengths to get that perfect forehead mustache, lining their brows with kohl or soot, or even using tree resin to affix fake eyebrows made of goats’ hair to their foreheads.

6. Of Corset Was!

white and brown striped textilePhoto by Jamie Coupaud on Unsplash

You probably associate the fitted corset with those breathless Victorian women who, though they maintained their figure, looked constantly on the verge of fainting, but they weren't the first to wear them. The corset goes all the way back to the Ancient Minoan women of Crete, who wore similar restrictive bodices. The Minoan corsets were likely the first fitted garments ever worn.

7. To Be Taken With A Grain Of Salt

Popular superstition states that, if one should spill some salt, one can counteract the bad luck by throwing a pinch of salt over the shoulder. That practice actually goes all the way back to the ancient Assyrians. The superstition was passed on from them to the Egyptians, and then the Greeks, and the Romans, all the way to today.

8. Stairway To Heaven

an egyptian scene with a man offering a bowl to a womanPhoto by British Library on Unsplash

The same is true of walking under ladders—the Egyptians came up with that one. Because a ladder leaning against a wall formed a triangle, representative of the holy trinity of Egyptian gods, to walk through was considered sacrilegious. Naturally, that superstation lent itself perfectly to the early Christians. I always just thought it was because you're likely to get something dropped on you if you walk under a ladder.

9. As It Nappens

Just like the Spaniards with their customary siesta, the Ancient Greeks would insist on taking a quick mid-day nap throughout the summer. One 5th-century medical text advised that a brief nap around noon kept the body from “drying out.”

10. That Sucks!

In ancient Ireland, one showed submission to tribal kings by sucking their nipples. Bog-bodies (ancient remain found well-preserved by the chemicals in a bogs) have been found with slashed nipples, indicating that they had been driven from the throne.

11. Pour One Out

Even if you're completely out of touch, you’ve probably seen a rapper “pouring one out” in a music video. Feel free to pour one out in memory of Pac or Biggie, but you should know the practice actually began with the Ancient Egyptians, who first spilled their drinks as a tribute to their god of death, Osiris.

12. The Good Book

person's hand holding book pagePhoto by Rod Long on Unsplash

The practice of libations was continued by the Greeks. There is even mention of “pouring one out” in the Old Testament: Genesis 35:14 states “Jacob set up a pillar in the place where he had spoken with him [God], even a pillar of stone. He poured out a drink offering on it and poured oil on it.”

13. Beer For Breakfast

While the pharaohs had no shortage of delicacies to choose from—fruit and honey and wine and cured fish and all manner of roasted beasts—the Egyptian working class had a significantly shorter menu. The typical Egyptian breakfast consisted of bread, beer, and onions.

14. Sand Gets Everywhere

a group of people riding horses in a desertPhoto by Veronika Biró on Unsplash

And sand. Lots of sand. Keeping sand out of their food was a huge problem for Egyptians, and coupled with their rough, fibrous diet and the fact that they had no real culture of dental hygiene, it meant that Egyptians of modest means usually suffered severe dental issues.

15. Chickening Out

Roman navies always kept chickens on board their ships, but they never intended to eat the birds. Rather, the chickens were offered cake. If the chickens pecked the cake, the Romans were sure to have luck in their upcoming battle. One Roman admiral, furious that his chicken wouldn’t peck, shunned superstition by throwing his chicken overboard and declared, “If it won’t eat, it can drink instead!”

27. The Stash

green palm tree during sunsetPhoto by Kym MacKinnon on Unsplash

According to Herodotus, certain tribes to the east liked to throw bushels of marijuana on bonfires and enjoy a nice stone. As with a lot of stuff that Herodotus said, historians took this with a grain of salt, but in 2008 archaeologists discovered the tomb of a 2,700-year-old mummy in the Western Chinese province of Xinjiang.

In addition to the mummy—presumably, a shaman of the Yuehzi people—was nearly 800 grams of marijuana, worth about $8,000 to modern consumers. Also found in the tomb, a stack of Bob Marley records and a poster bearing the phrase “Legalize It.”

17. A Different Period

To cope with severe menstrual symptoms, Roman women used tampons soaked in opium, while Egyptian men were allowed—and even encouraged—to take time off work to care for their menstruating wives or daughters.

18. Don’t Sweat It

gray concrete building during daytimePhoto by Federico Di Dio photography on Unsplash

After a big day at the Colosseum, Roman fight-goers liked to celebrate the trip by buying souvenirs. Gladiator sweat was a favorite, as was lard from the animals who had been killed during the show. The sweat was mixed with olive oil and sold as a perfume. It was also considered a powerful aphrodisiac. I'll pass, thanks.

19. Decisions, Decisions

According to Herodotus, the rule of thumb among the Ancient Persians was if something was decided upon while drunk, all people involved must wait until they’ve sobered up, and decide again. Later writers added that, if something were decided while sober, the Persians would again put the decision under scrutiny by getting drunk and seeing if the idea held up. At least they covered all their bases!

20. Puking Party

girl in grey tank top holding purple flowerPhoto by Дмитрий Хрусталев-Григорьев on Unsplash

As everyone knows, the Romans loved to party, but of course one can only party so much. The idea of any Roman feast was to eat and drink as much as physically possible. When a Roman began to feel too full, or too drunk, it was socially acceptable, and even encouraged, to induce vomiting, thereby making room for more.

It should be said, however, that it's a misconception that they had special rooms called "vomitoria" for this purpose. Vomitoria did exist, but they were special passages in theaters or auditoria designed to efficiently allow many people to exit at once. The name comes from the Latin word vomo, which means "to spew forth."

21. No Pants Allowed

The Greeks and Romans had pants, they just didn’t wear them. The Greeks thought they looked silly, and the Romans considered them “for the barbarians,” since they were customarily worn by Germanic peoples to the north.

22. Spitting Image

man spitting waterPhoto by Asael Peña on Unsplash

It wouldn’t be unusual to see a Roman spit on himself; it was something they did any time they encountered a mentally ill person or someone with epilepsy. Not only were these traits undesirable, they were considered contagious as well. By spitting on himself, a Roman was protecting himself from the spread of a disease—an action that had no basis, even in Roman medicine, but remained a widely held superstition.

23. The Cure-All

For everything that spitting couldn’t cure, the Romans swore by "theriac." The compound, invented by Nero’s personal physician, was made of 64 different ingredients, including opium and viper flesh, and was said to cure everything from poisoning to plague. Theriac remained a common item in apothecaries and pharmaceutical shops well into the 19th century, because if nothing works anyway, you might as well eat some snake parts.

24. Ancient Times

grayscale photo of round analog clockPhoto by Timo C. Dinger on Unsplash

Punctual Romans carried around portable sundials, not unlike our more modern pocket watches. Each sundial came with specific instructions on how to use it based on one’s geographical coordinates and the season. But the Romans didn’t rely on a regular 60 minute hour like we do: rather, they followed the Egyptian example of keeping a 45 minute hour through the summer and a 75 minute hour in the winter. How could that not have confused people?

25. Fast Food

The Romans were a busy, on-the-go people, so it’s not surprising that, just like us moderns, they loved fast food. There were restaurants all over the Rome, many of them with windows that opened onto the street so customers could just order their food and go. I wonder if they had drive-thru windows for chariots?

17. Pompeiians Can’t Cook

brown and white concrete buildingPhoto by Yaopey Yong on Unsplash

There were more than 200 take-out restaurants in Pompeii alone. Taking dinner out was so common that many Pompeiian homes didn’t even have kitchens.

16. Vend Diagram

The Romans even had vending machines. Or at least they had the technology—the only known example, built by Roman-Egyptian inventor Hero of Alexander, was coin-operated and dispensed holy water.

28. Cone Heads

brown concrete statue of manPhoto by Tom Podmore on Unsplash

Long before the spray bottle was invented, the Egyptians developed a unique way to apply perfume. They wore tall cones of resin or ox fat on the top of their heads. The cones would be infused with aromatic oils and myrrh. As the balmy night wore on, the cones melted, leaving the Egyptians coated in fragrant oil. It was considered good hospitality to offer these cones to guests at a party.

29. The Best Part Of Waking Up…

Coffee came from Africa, tea from the far east. Neither seemed to have caught on among the Romans. Given the dearth of caffeinated beverages, the Romans began their mornings with a beverage made of goat feces and vinegar. I'll stick to my bean juice, thanks.

30. Just Do It

File:15-07-05-Schloß-Caputh-RalfR-N3S 1528.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

According to Pliny the Elder (this guy again...), the goat dung and vinegar beverage was especially popular among chariot racers; it was kind of like an ancient version of Gatorade. The emperor Nero personally endorsed the drink, saying that it gave him extra strength.

31. Urine Luck

The Romans used human urine in industries like leather tanning, and some of these companies even paid a “urine tax” for the privilege. But that’s not all: Urine was used by the Romans as a laundry detergent, a fertilizer, and even as a mouthwash. Because, you know, nothing makes your mouth cleaner than...

32. A Brush With The Egyptians

blue and white plastic bottlePhoto by 莎莉 彭 on Unsplash

In this instance, at least, the Egyptians were centuries ahead of the Romans, and even ahead of pre-20th century Westerners. The Egyptians invented the toothbrush, and used it in conjunction with a toothpaste made of gum arabica, soot, and water that actually would have done an OK job.

33. Mint Condition

In fact, one 4th century Egyptian text offers a complete—though different—recipe for toothpaste: one drachma of rock salt, one drachma of iris flowers, 20 grains of pepper, and, of course, two drachmas of mint for kissably fresh breath. Hey, if it's not human urine, I'll take it!

34. Getting Around To It

man and woman statue under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Sergio García on Unsplash

Let’s talk about bad habits for a minute. Here in the modern world, many of us have trouble getting motivated—we tend to put off starting things, even if they’re important or good for us. But don't feel so bad, even our ancient ancestors struggled with procrastination.

Putting off crucial business was so common in Ancient Greece that the Greeks had a word for it: akrasia, “the state of acting against one’s own interest.”

35. So Stupid, It’s Smart

One Greek statesman discovered a trick to help him defeat akrasia: Demosthenes shaved one side of his head (seriously). Funny, but how does it help? Demosthenes reasoned—rightly, perhaps—that he would be less tempted to go outside if he knew people would make fun of his stupid haircut. Rather than risk the mockery and taunts of his fellow Athenians, he stayed home and studied. Something to remember next time you’ve got a big exam coming up.

36. Moldy Medicine

sliced bread on tablePhoto by Helena Yankovska on Unsplash

The Ancient Egyptians applied moldy bread crusts to burns. This practice has also been found in ancient Greek, Chinese, and Serbian cultures. While none of these ancient cultures had any way to know specifically, they did seem to intuit that the microbes and antibodies active in the mold were good for fighting off infections.

37. An Eyebrow Raising Habit

Eyebrows were important to the Ancient Egyptians, as well. The death of a household cat was a serious tragedy—the Egyptians literally worshipped the furry felines—and families would often demonstrate their grief by shaving their eyebrows off.

38. The Cat’s Pyjamas

Free Images : animal, monument, statue, cat, egypt, sculpture ...pxhere.com

Cats were idolized by the Egyptians because of their skill at killing vermin like rats and snakes, and because they also represented fertility. When a cat died, even the cat of a laborer, it was given a noble burial, mummified, and laid to rest surrounded by pots of milk and mummified mice. We should all be so lucky.

39. Pretty Disrespectful

The practice of mummifying cats was so common that, over the course of the 19th century, British industrialists were able to import nineteen tons of mummified kitties for use as fertilizer.

40. Not Monkeying Around

black monkey sitting on rock during daytimePhoto by Benjamin Ong on Unsplash

Cats weren’t the only pets loved by the Egyptians; they were also known to keep monkeys. Big monkeys. Really big monkeys, like baboons, in fact. Baboons don’t live in Egypt—they had to be imported to Egypt specifically—but their popularity led them to develop a wealth of cultural and religious significance to the Egyptian people, and one was considered lucky indeed to have one of the simians in their home.

41. The Hogs Of War

The Greeks and Romans employed an unlikely ally when they went to war: Because their rivals in the east typically employed elephants, the Greeks and Romans enlisted the help of war pigs, whose squeals terrified the giant beasts.

42. The Romans Treated Their Kids Like Garbage

a statue of a person holding a staffPhoto by Clemens van Lay on Unsplash

Roman families did have adoption practices—even Julius Caesar adopted his great-nephew Octavian, later known as Augustus—but it was mostly a way for the wealthy Roman elite to ensure they had an heir. For poorer families, unwanted children were often just left at the dump.

If those unwanted babies didn’t die, they were usually taken to be raised as slaves.

A couple lies in bed with a baby between them
Image by Stephanie Pratt

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