Teachers Break Down What 'Clicked' About A Student After Meeting Their Parents
You see a kid screaming in public. You think, "ugh, this is annoying." But then the parent shows up, also yelling. Just yelling and yelling and yelling at the child. Suddenly you know why the kid is screaming.
Teachers get to see this on a much deeper and more psychologically complex level. Family personalities are inherited and forced upon children. They act out based on how they are treated at home.
So when u/LightQueen1600 asked:
"Teachers of Reddit, what 'Clicked' about a student after you met his/her parents?"
The Worst Thing To Learn About A Kid
"I was in my first semester of student teaching and this student was crushing it: straight A's, class role model, and then his grades dropped off, and I reached out to the step dad to discuss."
"Turns out the step father was doing all his work (virtually) and went on vacation. Next thing I see the next day is his son with a black eye."
"He told me it was from football, but then told three other teachers three other things. I became this student's tutor after school so he could be in a safe place if only for a moment."-Ice9Vonneguy
Why Nobody Should Have Food Insecurity
"Many kids who are unable to focus and have challenging behaviours are just hungry. I work at a low socioeconomic school, many kids arrive with no breakfast and no lunch. (no such thing as cafeterias in this country. Packed lunches from home or buy some dim sums from the canteen)"
"The school has a club 3 times a week where kids learn to cook basic breakfast meals and eat together. It's advertised as a cooking club but it's purpose is really to ensure the poorest kids get a nutritious free meal."
"Getting food into them changes their behaviour in a very perceptible way."-LilPeaHen
A Scary Home Life
"10th grade student who had zero self-esteem, passive body language, shy, hesitant, fearful, slouching."
"Over the first month of school, he opened up with us, as none of the other kids were d*cks and the environment was pretty fun. He was very smart, very funny, and witty to boot. He had self-confidence, he just kept it very well hidden."
"I didn't understand why he still maintained that shy, quiet, reticent presence when he was in the hallways and with other teachers. Why he still always looked like he wished he was invisible."
"Met his parents and understood everything about his home life immediately: his dad was a domineering bully. I could feel it in my bones the minute they walked in."
"The way he sat down, the way he talked to me, the way his wife acted...everything. He was like a ticking bomb."
"I'm not putting it into words well, but I could tell my student lived in two very different households. When dad wasn't home his life was filled with fun and laughter. When he was, he was full of fear."-GingerMau
It's a good challenge to people who say they don't like kids. Who is it they really don't like?
The Things Parents Can Really Do
"I used to work at a school for violent and troubled kids. It was basically the last step before juvey. There was one kid who was an absolute bully and a shocking, and I mean shocking, misogynist."
"But only when he was around peers. We found that this same kid was incredible when working with the one lower functioning class we had, as long as none of his peers saw him."
"We had to suspend him one day for fighting with another kid, and I drove him home early. His dad was on the porch waiting, as the school had called."
"I've never seen a kid crawl into his shell faster than this kid when he saw his dad. This bully who was just an hour ago wailing on some other kid, just completely cowered when he saw his dad."
"He walked onto the porch and barely met his dad's eyes. His dad looked at him with a rage behind his eyes and said, 'Get inside.' I was pretty far away, but it really looked he was holding back tears. He disappeared inside and the dad told me, 'Sorry for what he did. Don't worry. I'll take care of it.'"
"I said something about how we were still getting to the bottom of it and how he was a good kid, and the dad just scoffed and went inside."
"I got back to the school and spoke with one of the counselors (I was just out of high school and basically just a glorified security guard they called a 'teacher's aide') and said I was uncomfortable with what I saw."
"The counselor was like, 'Ya, we're pretty sure there's abuse in that household, but we can't prove it.' still think about that kid. Heart of gold when no one was watching, and incredibly smart too."-karlverkade
People Share The Dumbest Purchases They Have Ever Made | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Narcissism Is Inherited
"I had a student accuse me of picking on her. If I called on her to read (everyone reads in my room unless they come to me at the beginning of class and ask me not to call on them because they're having an off day) then she'd text her mom that I only called on her."
"If I gave her a B and her friends an A, she'd text her mom and say I graded her paper unfairly. When I caught her cheating on a test and took her cheat sheet (I didn't fail her. I just took her means of cheating.... this is more kind than any other teacher I know.)"
"She went to the principal and complained I was being unfair and didn't give her her makeup work and therefore she HAD to use a cheat sheet. Then she texted her mom that I wouldn't let her finish her test, which wasn't true."
"Her mom turned out to be a teacher's aide at our elementary campus. We met for a parent/teacher conference when it got to the point that she was pulling her phone out every few minutes to text her mom one complaint or another. "
"I was always on edge and wanted to discuss the behavior with her mom, especially considering students aren't allowed to have their phones out and she was the only student breaking the rules. "
"During the meeting, she refused to even look at her daughter's work to see why her daughter received a B when her friends received an A. She refused to listen to my aid when he told her that her daughter was one of about 15 students called to read that day. "
"And she LITERALLY closed her eyes and turned her head away when I tried to show her the emails between her daughter and me regarding her missing work before the upcoming test. "
"She closed her eyes and said, 'I'm not looking at anything you have to show me because my kid does not lie and I refuse to let you sit here and show me something telling me she does!' Like mother, like daughter. "
"The grandmother was in charge of the lunchroom too and mistreated her staff and was rude to students. The whole family was just awful, terrible narcissistic people."-MycologistPutrid7494
"Kid could never focus on anything. His eyes were always traveling around the room and rarely on his work."
"Dad came in for a meeting and did much the same. I don't know if I've ever had a one on one conversation with someone where they were looking all over the place like he did. Nice family though."-mrotto7
"I taught a kid in Japan who was textbook ADHD. Taisei. He just made class impossible. Sweet kid, but a complete distraction who made no attempt to learn English."
"When I went to introduce myself to his mom when she dropped him off one day she just ran away from me. Bolted to her bike and took off."
"Over there, mental disorders are still seen as kind of a source of shame, especially out in the country where I was. So the mom literally running away from the problem rather than acknowledging anything about me as a teacher was all I needed to know about Taisei's unchecked ADHD."-tmptsitwm
When it comes to kids, some things really just don't change from parents. Parents often dictate their child's behavior.
Bullies Beget Bullies
"I was giving summer school cooking classes, was just about to end college. We were on recess, my group of kids (4 kids between 10-14 yo) were playing with the kids (one of which was a college teacher's daughter) of a friend of mine on the ping pong table."
"Suddenly, this girl older than them, came to the area, and without any reason, crushed the only ball they had and went back to sit down. I went to her to ask nicely who was responsible for her, and that her bullying wasn't nice."
"Her teacher was another friend of mine, we talked after and she told me this girl didn't want to get into trouble and was sorry, asked my friend not to tell her mom so she wouldn't worry. I was ok with that."
"Suddenly, after the kids left, my friend and I get called by our boss (the person in charge of the summer classes) and told us the girl's mom was on the phone going crazy because I screamed at her daughter."
"This mom starting berating my boss and telling her she was useless and she wanted to talk to someone with actual authority. We could hear her through the phone screaming like a maniac, I just gave the look to my friend and boss and said 'well, we see where the girl gets her bullying from.'"
"Turns out she asked my friend not to say anything so she could control the narrative, I didn't get in trouble because there where multiple witnesses, my boss's boss told the mom that we could check the cafeteria cameras if she wanted, her attitude went 180 and didn't even continue making a fuss about it."
"The teacher's daughter told me that the 4 years she's gone to the summer school, that girl had been bullying everyone."-RPAVONM
Kids Always Deserve Better
"I worked as a tutor with a kid who was bright and worked hard, but who always had her guard up. It was months into our work together before she finally cracked a smile - that was a big day!"
"You could just sense this coolness and distance behind her eyes. I gave her her space, and it was really one of the nicest compliments a student has paid me when she started to relax around me. I was glad she realized she could trust me."
"One day I was at her house when her mom and I think step-dad needed to talk to her about some really minor teen infraction - if I remember correctly, something that hadn't even happened yet, but some scheduling thing she hadn't realized would be a problem."
"Holy. Cow. They turned it into a 5-act full stage production with me sitting right there, just relentlessly laying into her over and over despite her immediately saying she'd sort it. I felt for her - and yep, totally saw why she was the way she was."
"I think of her sometimes. I hope she got out into the world and found good people. She deserved it."-Terpsichorean_Wombat
It's a hard realization when you finally see that a kid usually isn't the problem. It's somebody else; usually in their household.
Kids learn how to either thrive or survive based on their home lives. School can either be an extension of that or a relief from that. The best teachers really invest their lives in these kids.
Reddit user Astro_Shogun asked: 'What decision by a company received the most amount of backlash from the public?
Corporations don't get big overnight.
A lot of tough decisions, big wins, and sometimes even bigger losses, go into their growth.
But sometimes companies make mistakes that the public simply cannot let slide, and it can be hard to imagine how the company could stay afloat after the backlash.
Redditor Astro_Shogun asked:
"What decision by a company received the most amount of backlash from the public?"
Dang It, Photobucket
"When Photobucket decided to take the whole internet hostage by asking for 400 dollars a year for what was previously a free image storage solution. The move broke years of forum posting and erased a significant portion of the web collective knowledge."
"Yup. And now they're holding almost all of my son's childhood photos (some of which I managed to save in other places) hostage."
"Browse any forum thread from the early 2000s and practically all the images are gone because everyone used Photobucket back then. It will be the same way with Reddit whenever Imgur goes under."
"JCPenny doing away with sales and trying to present itself as a more upscale store. Sales immediately plummeted, and they reversed course quickly."
"Gerald Ratner said the reason his jewelry company could sell stuff so cheap was because the products were crap. It destroyed the company overnight."
Front Wheel Drive
"Ford, in the '80s, tried to replace the aging Fox body Mustang with a front-wheel drive, Mazda-based car. This was pre-internet, but car people got UPSET and deluged Ford with a letter expressing their anger."
"Ford backtracked, kept the Fox body around, and released the vehicle that was going to be the new Mustang as the Probe. It lasted two generations, but the Mustang soldiers on."
"Microsoft got roasted when they announced Kinect and always-online were required for the Xbox One. Took all the momentum they had from the 360 era and put them miles behind Sony."
"Sonic having human teeth."
"I just immediately pictured teeth in a Sonic milkshake and had a horrified reaction before my brain caught up to you meaning the character."
"Very recently, T-Mobile. A company that 10 years ago called itself the Uncarrier by making a series of pro-consumer changes to its plans and the previous CEO built almost a sort of cult of fans of the company. Then T-Mobile acquired Sprint and got a new CEO."
"A couple of weeks ago, T-Mobile internal documentation revealed it was going to automatically upgrade customers on old grandfathered plans up to new plans, which were more expensive. Customers would have to call in to opt out of the change. 'They weren’t raising customers’ rates, they were moving them to better plans.'"
"Well, major tech news got ahold of that, and then even some local news stations, and T-Mobile quietly 'clarified' a week later via internal communications that only one percent of their customers would be affected."
Coming Together in Hate
"Anyone remember the Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad when she solved police brutality?"
"Those moments are precious. There are a few things these days that bring everyone on the Internet together. That was one of those things. We all hated the Pepsi ad that solved police brutality."
"That ad had it all. Pandering, ignorance, arrogance, and talking down to their audience."
"And a Kardashian."
With Every Purchase
"I couple of years back a local Detroit area car dealership decided the best way to celebrate MLK day was to give away free car alarms with every purchase."
"Nobody liked that."
A Sale Gone Too Well
"Hoover UK offering two free flights to America if you spend £100 on their products. They anticipated that people would spend a lot more than the minimum required which would cover the approximately £600 value of the tickets."
"When the company was deluged with purchases around the £100 mark, they reneged on the offer, which prompted a very expensive lawsuit. The fallout was so bad that the UK division of the firm was sold to a rival company."
New Drink, Who Dis?
"After the relations disaster, the public clamored for the decision to be reversed, and Coca-Cola released 'Coke Classic.'"
"Coke Classic soon had an even higher market share than Coke did before the public relations fiasco, and a new theory made the rounds: that Coca-Cola deliberately made these decisions, simply to gain publicity, and increase market share."
"The reaction from Coca-Cola’s executives was, 'We aren’t that smart, and we aren’t that stupid.'"
A Tweet Turned Sexist
"Burger King stating that 'Women Belong in the Kitchen.' What they were TRYING to say was that they wanted more diversity. People didn't see it that way, and in the end, they had to issue an apology."
The Downfall of an Incredible Publication
"Here’s one there should be a public outcry about."
"Disney bought National Geographic and controls everything it does. This is the last year the iconic magazine will be available. I’m incensed."
(The writer of this article is equally incensed.)
Predicting the Future
"I feel like whatever YouTube is cooking up lately will be the next one."
"Tech companies sure know how to kill off highly popular and profitable apps, super quick. It’s interesting to watch it happen in real-time. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, all losing tons of followers and destroying their own stock."
It's easy to see how all of these mistakes resulted in huge backlash, sometimes at the total expense and downfall of the business.
But some of these mistakes were made by companies that are still huge today, and to a certain extent, that's kind of surprising.
Companies are typically in business for profit, and very few have the goal of keeping the customer's interests in mind.
But some corporations go even further to get more out of their customer in exchange for their "quality services" and as a result, the line between general business and scam becomes blurred.
Redditor jwwin asked:
"What is a predatory business that shouldn't be legal, but is?"
Students paying an exorbitant amount in tuition in order to seek higher learning should be warned there are additional expenses to cover for.
A Textbook Example
"College textbooks, they will release an 'updated' edition every semester but the information doesn't change. And then after you spent a fortune on the books the places that buy textbooks will give you like 5% of what you paid for the book."
A "Double Whammy"
"Former Prof here. I talked with a book rep about this once and learned a lot. It is a bit complicated but worth understanding. Book publishers rely on large quantity sales to make any money on a book because the cost of production is so high up front (author, editors, printing, etc.). So, for a book to be profitable, it has to sell a lot of copies to spread the cost of production across all the books. A paperback in the fiction section might sell 100,000 or more. A textbook might sell as few as 1,000. So, the publisher needs everyone to buy the book to break even."
"Now add colleges into the mix. Somewhere in the 1980s (give or take), colleges saw publishers selling books and making larger profits on them than the college bookstore was making per book. So they got the bright idea to start buying used texts and reselling them. Before that, a text would come out and 97% (making the number up but it was close to that) of the students would buy the book in year one, 85% in year two, 75% in year three, 60% in year four and 50% in year five. A $50 dollar book would cost $25 to make (again, making the numbers up), sell to the bookstore for $40 ($15 publisher profit), and be sold to the student for $50 ($10 bookstore profit). Across the five years, the producer would make a profit."
"Then, college bookstores began offering students $25 for a used book and selling it for $40 ($15 profit - $5 higher than that of a new book). Students would then prefer the $40 used book over the $50 new book. But that cut the publisher's sales from 97% to 50% in the first year. Because they could not sell as many books they had to do two things: (1) raise the initial price of the text to cover the production cost in 1-2 years rather than 4-5 years, and (2) cut the cycle down from 4-5 years to 1-2 years to ensure that they got sales of the book. That is a double whammy. Texts that used to cost $50 now cost $300 or more. And they have a new version out every 18 months or so. Students refuse to pay that price and that cuts the sales numbers even further forcing the price up again. And, with new editions out so frequently, it is harder to sell them back to the bookstore."
"That's why you see so many 'course packs' now - where a professor will pick a few pages from a book to give to the students. I went from having nearly every student purchasing a text in my early career to having zero students with a text late in my career. Your professor probably dislikes the state of affairs as much as you do. I cut down what books I would select because I could not justify students paying that much for what they were getting. I would also recommend students look for older editions on Amazon and the like which got me in trouble with my administration because I was not supporting the bookstore. But, it was difficult to teach from a text that no one had or had access to. The University's desire to generate revenue from texts truly was killing the chicken because it was not producing enough eggs."
"So look for an older edition on Chegg, Amazon, or the like and match it up with what your professor is teaching from the new edition. You are right, it probably has not changed. Be careful for the problems at the end of the chapter - that is often where the changes are."
These businesses parade as services but they are notorious for taking more than what you're willing to pay for.
For A Future Owner
"Rent to Own (furniture, appliances, TVs, video game systems, etc.) The mark up on the interest over time ends up costing 4 times the purchase - or more."
"Well the trick is to not pay (seems to be what a lot of people do)."
"Which is why those places are so expensive and why they're actually kinda necessary for some people."
"They're taking a pretty big risk on people with no credit, and if a person with shi*ty credit needs a refrigerator or other necessary appliance, there's usually nobody else willing to work with them. Also, most of them report to credit agencies so you can build your credit through them."
"I'm not a fan by any means and I hate that people are buying video game systems and couches through them, but I still think they're filling a need."
"Payday loan companies – they're like financial vampires, sucking the life out of people with high-interest rates."
"And yet most of them are owned by major banks... hmmmm."
"Bank of America, Wells Fargo, US Bank, JP Morgan/Chase collectively all own the largest payday lender companies."
"In Canada, there is an effort to turn Canada Post into a kind of bank that offers basic banking services to the most vulnerable. Not sure what happened to that, but it was an alternative to check cashing and payday loan rackets."
Greedy Event Vendor
"Agreed. We went to a preseason hockey game the other week. Tickets were $5 each but there was around $8 of Ticketmaster fees for each one and you had to use their app to get in the door because the barcodes change like every 30 seconds or something. It's ridiculous."
Where can citizens turn to receive genuine care without drying up their financial resources?
"Health Insurance and over priced perscription drugs."
"Wife is type 1 diabetic. Her pump is over $1000 a month WITH 50% coverage. $177 for just the sensor pack. We have the best coverage we can afford."
"US pays the middle man for health care coverage. The middle man and the health care provider come up with "health packages" you can buy into, just in case you get sick. It's just sick how they funnel money from the middle class into this."
"Healthcare insurance industry. They can straight up reject claims you should be covered for and make you jump through near endless hoops to get them to pay for the service that is part of your plan."
All Out To Get Ya
"Homeopathic 'medicine' sellers."
"Domain search engine registration scams (fake emails or physical mail that shows up saying 'your domain search registration is about to expire' and look exactly like warnings that your domain name is about to expire)"
"Fake homeowner warranty/car warranty scams loaded with so many limitations and exclusions they’ll basically never pay out."
"Multilevel marketing systems like Amway."
Losing Sight Of Kids' Well-Being
"From my experience working in group homes for youth are awful. The owners only want money and the more kids in care the more money."
Going Nowhere Fast
"You get penalized for using it. Even just once in some cases."
"1000% agree. I was rear ended by a hit and run driver while i was stopped at a stop sign. Literally came to a stop for 3 seconds max and got destroyed. Car insurance wanted to give me 4k and shut me up. It’s called the nuisance fee. I eventually lawyered up and got 25k out of it. But like wtf. B*tch that’s what we PAY FOR, following renewal of my policy it increased hundreds of dollars a month and that was even after i switched to a different company. 'A claim is a claim regardless who is at fault.'”
Businesses taking advantage of their customers should be a crime, yet here we are.
What companies can you think of that legally continue to look after their own profitable interests above providing a decent service?
Everyone has disagreed with their friends, even their best friend, at least once in their life.
Sometimes these disagreements might even lead to arguments or fights.
Of course, the sign of a true friendship is the ability to forgive and forget, and if all is not necessarily forgotten, it eventually becomes water under the bridge.
Sadly, this isn't the case for everyone, as sometimes words are said, or incidents occur that are difficult, if not impossible, to forgive and recover from.
Bringing even the closest friendships to an effective end.
Redditor Duemont62 was curious to hear what led people to cut one or more of their closest friends out of their lives, leading them to ask:
"What's something a friend did that made you end your friendship with them?"
"She was a cat hoarder and when I talked her into giving up 20 she said that would help making space for the fall litters (outdoor feral)."
"I gave up."
"She had 120 cats inside her house."- MeowMix24
Not Even The Tiniest Gesture...
"I was run over by a drunk driver years back."
"Died temporarily and had to be revived at the hospital."
"Both my brothers told my best friend of over 20 years what happened."
"Not once did he reach out to see how I was or ask if I was ok or wished me well."
"I was hurt by it, but tried to make some sort of sense of it, like maybe he just didn’t know what to say or he was shocked by the news or he wanted to give me space to recover."
"Months later I’m home but still in crutches and can barely move without a great deal of pain."
"Reached out to my friend on the phone, talked a bit and asked if he felt like coming over to watch a movie, play some games and just hang out."
"I was lonely and missed him."
"He seemed enthused but asked if I could WALK to his house in December on icy roads barely able to hobble around on crutches to hang out there instead."
"He lived 0.2 miles from me and couldn’t drive or walk the roughly 5 minutes to my house."
"I stopped talking to him shortly after."- MitchConnor555
Victim Of The Bottle
"I had one where the guy was a horrendous drunk."
"Super sensitive to alcohol and would very easily slip into blackout status."
"When he would get drunk, he just wanted to f*ck with people and be a sh*t disturber."
"One night he was pretty drunk and we didn't feel like f*cking with with so we went out without him."
"We come home around 11 that night and he had a bunch of sketchy people in our house that we're also obnoxiously drunk."
"He was almost passed out on the couch after he had burned a huge hole in our carpet after going into my room and getting my hookah setup."
"I go upstairs and there are just random people I had never met just chilling out in the random bedrooms."
"Some people smoking weed on my bed."
"One random drunk guy was screaming at someone on the phone and gave the person on the phone our address and told them to bring everyone over."
"We kicked everyone out which of course was a huge scene and conflict."
"We booted the guy out the next day."
"Haven't talked to him since"- PutinBoomedMe
When People Refuse To Change...
"Maybe not anything dramatic but my best friend from university came back to visit his parents who live in the same city as me and we wanted to have dinner."
"I knew he was super flakey in university, so I made sure I kept my week open because I knew he wouldn't know when he was available until the last minute."
"I was so excited to introduce him to my fiancé and show him our new house."
"We got everything for a really nice dinner."
"The day before we had planned to have dinner, he texted me that he didn't feel like driving over from his parent's house (30 min) the next day because 'he might be tired'."
"I was mad that he was flaking on such important plans, but I offered to bring all the stuff for dinner and drive out to him instead."
"He said, 'No thanks'."
"I realized that he really didn't care about anything that was going on in my life and was still as immature as he had been in university."
"I decided it wasn't a friendship I wanted to maintain anymore."- kitskill
It Was All Fine Till SHE Came Along...
"He married a girl who is incredibly hard to get along with and turned into a robot."- Gua_Bao
"Friends for over a decade."
"I was her maid of honor."
"She had 3 children with her husband, whom I was also very good friends with."
"I was very close with the kids, they called me auntie."
"I worked for her out of a home office."
"Watched the marriage deteriorate."
"She started a relationship with one of her clients after the marriage ended."
"She then started to treat her children like a burden."
"The new relationship was (and still is, to the best of my knowledge) more important than her children."
"When someone starts to severely neglect their children for a new exciting f*ck boy, I have to walk away."- redrainbow76
Friends Don't Take Advantage Of Other Friends...
"They were using me for free rent and as a scapegoat."- Chicago_Synth_Nerd_
The Green Eyed Monster...
"After talking to a guy I liked, we found out my 'best friend' was telling both of us that the other person didn't like us/found us annoying."
"He would ask her to invite me to parties, and she'd tell him I couldn't come, or that I said no and that he annoyed me."
"She'd tell me that he didn't invite me because he thought I was annoying."
"All because she liked him but wouldn't admit it to anyone."
"When we finally realized, we got together and stopped being friends with her."
"We've been together for 11 years now!"- horton_hears_a_homie
Not There When You Needed Them...
"The last straw: showing me no support when my dad passed away."- didyoubutterthepan
What Goes Around Comes Around...
"My best friend of 10 years and her husband had a falling out with my brother because my brother chose to stay out of a situation they were having with someone else, another mutual friend of ours."
"He didn’t wanna get involved."
"I agreed he shouldn’t get involved."
"They got so nasty and bitter about it all over time, and ended up lying to my brothers new wife and told her he cheated on her with one of our other friends."
"I knew this not to be true at all."
"They continued to make up stories and lie to her about him and it eventually destroyed their marriage because it created mistrust and conflict."
"His wife already had a lot of mental health struggles and it made it worse for her."
"They eventually divorced."
"I cut them out of my life."
"Since then, they have apologized and admitted to making up all the stories out of hurt and bitterness that my brother wouldn’t take their side in the conflict they were having with someone else, but it is all just too late."
"My brothers marriage was destroyed and so was our friendship."
"No coming back from that."
"By the way, my brother didn’t get involved because they were the ones in the wrong and if he told them that, imagine how much worse their revenge would be!"
"And their own marriage has since fallen apart."
Some might say that any true friendship is salveagable.
Leading one to wonder if any friend you found yourself cutting out of your life completely was ever a real friend at all.
Starting your first job is always nerve-wracking. The start of anything new usually is. That's why it's helpful to get some advice.
Before I started my first job, a friend of mine told me that there were a lot of things I should be willing to do in order to become indispensable, but one thing I should never do is give up lunch.
Even if it's a busy day and everyone is working through lunch, take five minutes to buy something at the deli next door or pop something in the microwave. You will not do your best work if you do not eat a meal.
I was very glad to get that advice, and it was something I always followed.
I also followed my own personal rule of writing down the process to do anything at work, even if it was as simple as where to look for a particular file. Anytime I thought 'oh, I'll remember,' I ended up having to ask again. It's always better to write it down so you not only know how to do it, but are the one that people come to when they need to know how to do it.
I'm not the only one that has good advice for someone starting their first job. Redditors are full of advice and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor CampDreamy asked:
"What advice would you give someone starting their first job?"
"95% of success is showing up on-time and not having a bad attitude."
"There’s a quote that goes something like: you don’t need an advanced degree to show up on time, work hard, and have a positive attitude."
"I basically used this as my mantra as I built my career (and still do)."
"This has been my experience in my first ~5 years of employment. Being someone that people enjoy interacting with, sticking to deadlines, and broadly trying to make lives easier rather than harder will get you pretty close to the top, and it’s a lot easier than working overtime every day."
"Yep, when I was younger I always thought that just showing up on time, being a decent person to work with, and doing a good job were the bare minimum that everyone did....I learned later that this will put you above approximately 90% of your co-workers."
"Poop on company time."
"Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time."
Everyone Makes Mistakes
"Don't worry about f**king up. You're going to f**k up. We all f**k up. Constantly."
"Learn from it when you f**k it up so you do it better next time and you'll be the best employee in any job."
"And when (not if) you f**k up, own up to it, and do your best to fix it. It's way easier to fix a mistake when it first happens than 3 weeks or even hours down the line. This applies to basically any field."
"Listen to gossip if you want, but never spread it."
"Yep. I worked in a private pool snack bar kitchen last summer, and nearly all of my coworkers were high school girls. The amount of sh*t they talked on each other was insane, but I just tried my best to not get involved. It never became anything other than sh*t-talking, but it's just a good idea in general to keep your head down."
"I work in a kitchen with majority middle-aged women, and it's simular to what you described."
Do It All
"If they tell you to sweep, just sweep. You still make the same amount. Unless you’re an MD or something else, in that case you’re f**ked!"
"A programmer consultant I knew in the 90s lived by the motto "it all pays the same.""
"You want him to spend his $50/hr time doing things that an unpaid intern could handle? Sounds like an easy day."
(Don't) Let It Burn, Burn, Burn
"Don’t burn bridges if you quit or get fired."
""Never cut what you can untie.""
"- Robert Frost"
It's All Public
"Assume everybody in the company plus clients will read every email you send."
"Yeah this is genuinely a great rule that will save your @ss. Write every email as if it will be read by the whole org."
"Also speak as though anything you say is being recorded."
"Document EVERYTHING. Every time punch. Every direction from your supervisor."
"Do this if you are working outside your duties/responsibilities as well, or directed to do things. You want a paper trail of why you did what you did if something screwy happens."
"Ideally, the work place should concentrate on policy, protocol, training, engineering and admin controls and such... but well stuff isnt always ideal."
"You're going to feel tempted to make strong relationships with your coworkers - but remember that you shouldn't share with anyone what you wouldn't want known by everyone. You may think you can trust someone, but you should have a bit of caution."
"A lot of work relationships feel a bit like a friendship, but they are not. If they move on, or you do, it is rare that you will stay in touch. Accept it for what it is."
"Take advantage of tuition reimbursement to get degrees/certifications that will benefit your career and don't worry about "owing" the company for it."
"Many industries have pretty generous tuition reimbursement programs where they cover your school but you owe them time after they cut those checks. A typical program might have a requirement that if you leave the company you need to pay back anything they had paid out in the last two years."
"The thing is that you want to leverage that degree for a salary jump and the current company won't give it to you because they have you "locked" in now, right?"
"So you interview for your next job and when that company gives you an offer you explain that you're on the hook for the tuition reimbursement at your old company "and since you will be getting the benefit of that education I will need a signing bonus to cover my financial obligation to my current employer.""
"Keep in mind that the signing bonus will be taxable income so you need to shoot for an amount that will have taxes taken out and leave what you need to pay back the tuition."
"I've known too many people who didn't get a degree that could have really helped them but they didn't want to be "on the hook" to their employer. I even know one guy who spent close to $30k out of his own pocket to get a master's degree because he didn't want to "be stuck here" when he was done."
The Little Moments Matter
"Don’t miss any major life events (or the major life events of close family/friends) for work. You might feel pressure from your employer not to take the time off."
"The family/friends will still be around for many years, the first job probably won’t."
Learn To Save
"Pension! Pension! Pension!"
"Put as much as you can afford to into your pension. Retirement might seem a lifetime away but the sooner you save for it the sooner you can achieve it."
Money, Money, Money
"Pack a lunch! Eating out can put a huge dent in your paycheck!"
"Can't stress this enough. For the price of eating out unhealthy food for 1 day you can usually pack healthier lunch for 2-3 days."
Oh, yes! I found out about that last one the hard way...and still haven't learned!