Teachers Break Down What 'Clicked' About A Student After Meeting Their Parents

Teachers Break Down What 'Clicked' About A Student After Meeting Their Parents
Photo by Liana Mikah on Unsplash

You see a kid screaming in public. You think, "ugh, this is annoying." But then the parent shows up, also yelling. Just yelling and yelling and yelling at the child. Suddenly you know why the kid is screaming.


Teachers get to see this on a much deeper and more psychologically complex level. Family personalities are inherited and forced upon children. They act out based on how they are treated at home.

So when u/LightQueen1600 asked:

"Teachers of Reddit, what 'Clicked' about a student after you met his/her parents?"

The Worst Thing To Learn About A Kid

"I was in my first semester of student teaching and this student was crushing it: straight A's, class role model, and then his grades dropped off, and I reached out to the step dad to discuss."

"Turns out the step father was doing all his work (virtually) and went on vacation. Next thing I see the next day is his son with a black eye."

"He told me it was from football, but then told three other teachers three other things. I became this student's tutor after school so he could be in a safe place if only for a moment."-Ice9Vonneguy

Why Nobody Should Have Food Insecurity

"Many kids who are unable to focus and have challenging behaviours are just hungry. I work at a low socioeconomic school, many kids arrive with no breakfast and no lunch. (no such thing as cafeterias in this country. Packed lunches from home or buy some dim sums from the canteen)"

"The school has a club 3 times a week where kids learn to cook basic breakfast meals and eat together. It's advertised as a cooking club but it's purpose is really to ensure the poorest kids get a nutritious free meal."

"Getting food into them changes their behaviour in a very perceptible way."-LilPeaHen

A Scary Home Life

"10th grade student who had zero self-esteem, passive body language, shy, hesitant, fearful, slouching."

"Over the first month of school, he opened up with us, as none of the other kids were d*cks and the environment was pretty fun. He was very smart, very funny, and witty to boot. He had self-confidence, he just kept it very well hidden."

"I didn't understand why he still maintained that shy, quiet, reticent presence when he was in the hallways and with other teachers. Why he still always looked like he wished he was invisible."

"Met his parents and understood everything about his home life immediately: his dad was a domineering bully. I could feel it in my bones the minute they walked in."

"The way he sat down, the way he talked to me, the way his wife acted...everything. He was like a ticking bomb."

"I'm not putting it into words well, but I could tell my student lived in two very different households. When dad wasn't home his life was filled with fun and laughter. When he was, he was full of fear."-GingerMau

It's a good challenge to people who say they don't like kids. Who is it they really don't like?

The Things Parents Can Really Do

"I used to work at a school for violent and troubled kids. It was basically the last step before juvey. There was one kid who was an absolute bully and a shocking, and I mean shocking, misogynist."

"But only when he was around peers. We found that this same kid was incredible when working with the one lower functioning class we had, as long as none of his peers saw him."

"We had to suspend him one day for fighting with another kid, and I drove him home early. His dad was on the porch waiting, as the school had called."

"I've never seen a kid crawl into his shell faster than this kid when he saw his dad. This bully who was just an hour ago wailing on some other kid, just completely cowered when he saw his dad."

"He walked onto the porch and barely met his dad's eyes. His dad looked at him with a rage behind his eyes and said, 'Get inside.' I was pretty far away, but it really looked he was holding back tears. He disappeared inside and the dad told me, 'Sorry for what he did. Don't worry. I'll take care of it.'"

"I said something about how we were still getting to the bottom of it and how he was a good kid, and the dad just scoffed and went inside."

"I got back to the school and spoke with one of the counselors (I was just out of high school and basically just a glorified security guard they called a 'teacher's aide') and said I was uncomfortable with what I saw."

"The counselor was like, 'Ya, we're pretty sure there's abuse in that household, but we can't prove it.' still think about that kid. Heart of gold when no one was watching, and incredibly smart too."-karlverkade

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Narcissism Is Inherited

"I had a student accuse me of picking on her. If I called on her to read (everyone reads in my room unless they come to me at the beginning of class and ask me not to call on them because they're having an off day) then she'd text her mom that I only called on her."

"If I gave her a B and her friends an A, she'd text her mom and say I graded her paper unfairly. When I caught her cheating on a test and took her cheat sheet (I didn't fail her. I just took her means of cheating.... this is more kind than any other teacher I know.)"

"She went to the principal and complained I was being unfair and didn't give her her makeup work and therefore she HAD to use a cheat sheet. Then she texted her mom that I wouldn't let her finish her test, which wasn't true."

"Her mom turned out to be a teacher's aide at our elementary campus. We met for a parent/teacher conference when it got to the point that she was pulling her phone out every few minutes to text her mom one complaint or another. "

"I was always on edge and wanted to discuss the behavior with her mom, especially considering students aren't allowed to have their phones out and she was the only student breaking the rules. "

"During the meeting, she refused to even look at her daughter's work to see why her daughter received a B when her friends received an A. She refused to listen to my aid when he told her that her daughter was one of about 15 students called to read that day. "

"And she LITERALLY closed her eyes and turned her head away when I tried to show her the emails between her daughter and me regarding her missing work before the upcoming test. "

"She closed her eyes and said, 'I'm not looking at anything you have to show me because my kid does not lie and I refuse to let you sit here and show me something telling me she does!' Like mother, like daughter. "

"The grandmother was in charge of the lunchroom too and mistreated her staff and was rude to students. The whole family was just awful, terrible narcissistic people."-MycologistPutrid7494

Wandering Eyes

"Kid could never focus on anything. His eyes were always traveling around the room and rarely on his work."

"Dad came in for a meeting and did much the same. I don't know if I've ever had a one on one conversation with someone where they were looking all over the place like he did. Nice family though."-mrotto7

Getting Treatment

"I taught a kid in Japan who was textbook ADHD. Taisei. He just made class impossible. Sweet kid, but a complete distraction who made no attempt to learn English."

"When I went to introduce myself to his mom when she dropped him off one day she just ran away from me. Bolted to her bike and took off."

"Over there, mental disorders are still seen as kind of a source of shame, especially out in the country where I was. So the mom literally running away from the problem rather than acknowledging anything about me as a teacher was all I needed to know about Taisei's unchecked ADHD."-tmptsitwm

When it comes to kids, some things really just don't change from parents. Parents often dictate their child's behavior.

Bullies Beget Bullies

"I was giving summer school cooking classes, was just about to end college. We were on recess, my group of kids (4 kids between 10-14 yo) were playing with the kids (one of which was a college teacher's daughter) of a friend of mine on the ping pong table."

"Suddenly, this girl older than them, came to the area, and without any reason, crushed the only ball they had and went back to sit down. I went to her to ask nicely who was responsible for her, and that her bullying wasn't nice."

"Her teacher was another friend of mine, we talked after and she told me this girl didn't want to get into trouble and was sorry, asked my friend not to tell her mom so she wouldn't worry. I was ok with that."

"Suddenly, after the kids left, my friend and I get called by our boss (the person in charge of the summer classes) and told us the girl's mom was on the phone going crazy because I screamed at her daughter."

"This mom starting berating my boss and telling her she was useless and she wanted to talk to someone with actual authority. We could hear her through the phone screaming like a maniac, I just gave the look to my friend and boss and said 'well, we see where the girl gets her bullying from.'"

"Turns out she asked my friend not to say anything so she could control the narrative, I didn't get in trouble because there where multiple witnesses, my boss's boss told the mom that we could check the cafeteria cameras if she wanted, her attitude went 180 and didn't even continue making a fuss about it."

"The teacher's daughter told me that the 4 years she's gone to the summer school, that girl had been bullying everyone."-RPAVONM

Kids Always Deserve Better

"I worked as a tutor with a kid who was bright and worked hard, but who always had her guard up. It was months into our work together before she finally cracked a smile - that was a big day!"

"You could just sense this coolness and distance behind her eyes. I gave her her space, and it was really one of the nicest compliments a student has paid me when she started to relax around me. I was glad she realized she could trust me."

"One day I was at her house when her mom and I think step-dad needed to talk to her about some really minor teen infraction - if I remember correctly, something that hadn't even happened yet, but some scheduling thing she hadn't realized would be a problem."

"Holy. Cow. They turned it into a 5-act full stage production with me sitting right there, just relentlessly laying into her over and over despite her immediately saying she'd sort it. I felt for her - and yep, totally saw why she was the way she was."

"I think of her sometimes. I hope she got out into the world and found good people. She deserved it."-Terpsichorean_Wombat

It's a hard realization when you finally see that a kid usually isn't the problem. It's somebody else; usually in their household.

Kids learn how to either thrive or survive based on their home lives. School can either be an extension of that or a relief from that. The best teachers really invest their lives in these kids.

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"Reddit user AdonisBlackwood asked: 'What paranormal activities have you witnessed?'"

The paranormal is among us at all times.

The ghosts, the spirits, they "live" in their death.

Sometimes a coincidence or a phenomenon is something more.

Leftover essences have been seen and recorded.

Now not everybody is cool with every encounter.

I still have shivers depending on the mood.

But when will we all be on the same page and start living 'Beetlejuice?'

Day-OH!

That could help with the spookiness of it all.

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Everyone does stupid things, and it's not limited to when you're young either.

When I was 10, my best friend and I snuck out of her house in the middle of the night and hitchhiked to Tukery Hill for ice cream. I can't even count all the ways that could've gone wrong.

Eight years later, my friend and I drove his new car on the sheets of ice on our college campus, trying to see how fast we could go.

The tires skidded on the ice several times, and back then, we thought it was fun.

The stupidity spurred on by impulsivity doesn't ever truly go away.

Redditors can attest to that, as they are sharing what may be the stupidest things they've ever done.

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Customer service jobs are not for the faint of heart.

Dealing with people at their angriest and rudest does not breed a positive work environment.

Customer service can be a downright toxic job.

And if it's not the customers setting your spirit on fire, it's the companies themselves.

Some companies seem to revel in creating discontent.

That's why these types of jobs have such high turnover.

Redditor Psychological-Name15 wanted the customer service reps out there to give us some truths, so they asked:

"Customer service workers of Reddit, what secret can you reveal from your former company?"

I want to know about the inner workings of Comcast!!

I loathe them!

Oh Dear

Jennifer Lopez Smh GIF by American IdolGiphy

I used to work in tech support for Citi Bank. The people working there are not intelligent. My favorite interaction went like this..."

"Banker - How do I type the upside down I?"

"Me - Ma'am, that's an exclamation point."

slappy_mcslapenstein

The Crappy People

"In every CS job I’ve ever had: we will bend over backward to help a nice person. We will expedite any complaint, give maximum compensation, and harass other areas of the business for you."

"We will do the absolute bare minimum to help a shi**y person and if you’re really bad, we will do everything in our power to make sure you get nothing but what you’re legally entitled to and it will be a process to get that."

11catsinahumansuit

"I don’t work in CS but 100% the same for us in IT a nice person will get new stuff while a shi**y person will get questionable secondhand crap that will take 12 months to fix! I will make sure that you wait as long as humanely possible to have anything fixed!"

Sharp-Demand-6614

Go to Holiday Inn

"If you ask for a supervisor calling Marriott you will just get another person who is not a supervisor, but say they are."

cryptnificent

"Yep. I've seen this done numerous times across multiple industries. Usually, it only involves an actual sup if it's a genuine problem or if they want to make a point."

"The last job I had was in towing junk cars. Two of the inside buyers, one male, and one female, would bounce that sup card around constantly. Idk how no one ever put it together. We'd get repeat callers and repeat sellers so I don't know."

ItsBobFromLumbridge

Heartless

"Worked at a contracted call center for Centrelink. The manager told us to deny as many emergency payments as possible and they would back us no matter what. They were actively working towards a culture that despised the callers and churned staff to get heartless right-wingers who hated the poor."

Rizza1122

"I feel ya. My best mate is a quadriplegic. Centrelink denied his disability pension because he wasn’t disabled enough."

Less-Storage

Go to Home Depot

You Are Dumb Patrick Star GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy

"I worked at Lowes. I didn't know anything about anything in the electrical department yet that's where they put me without any training."

Eattherich187

Not training people is not just a Lowes thing.

There are too many unqualified people doing too many things.

Switcharoo

Drag Race What GIF by TAZOGiphy

"Can confirm it's an unwritten policy for deli departments in Coles Supermarkets to change the written expiry dates on their tickets so they can sell out-of-code products at full price."

REDDIT

A Little Sunshine

"I worked at a call center for the billing department of a major internet and cable service provider. We were authorized to give up to $90 credit per customer on their bill but only as a last resort. Always remember to be nice to all customer service workers. You never know just how much they can help with a friendly attitude."

Axel_Dunce

"Former call center employee here. Highly accurate. Use your manners, and well fix your issue. Anything else, just makes us want to take longer, and you won't get a credit. Just because we are authorized, doesn't mean you'll get the credit for being an a**hat. haha. I've been verbally abused a few times for asking them not to swear at me. Lol."

Ok-Ad-7247

LELU

"I worked for a major telco company for many years in something called a ‘LELU’ which stands for Law Enforcement Liaison Unit. This 'unit' is pretty self-explanatory, but it essentially is a team who worked directly with the police/FEDS to monitor people's information for things such as obtaining communications history of call logs, SMS loss, etc."

"However, most importantly, the software we used, we as agents could directly see all your SMS texts, including MMS and their explicit imagery of whatever you were sending. This would include sexting, naked images, family photos, and everything. There were instances where people abused this position by stalking or 'monitoring' their SO’s comings and going’s."

MidniteMischief

Cookies!!

"I worked at a cafe chain called 'The Cookie Man,' 95% of their cookies arrived in cardboard boxes layered with bubble wrap. The last 5% arrived as pre-made dough that we would bake on-site to make the place smell like fresh cookies."

"I also worked at a cupcake shop. It's literally just packet mix that you add eggs and oil to before baking/piping pre-made icing onto. Don't waste your money on these places, 90% of these chain shops are the same and most are severely underpaying their workers (this is for Australia btw). Just purchase some packet mix from the supermarket and call it a day."

Frequent-Selection91

Look in the Back

"I was a Store Manager for a very large grocery chain and I can tell you that 95% of the time when customers complain to the manager, we may be professional and show empathy, and even resolve the problem."

"But then we usually just make fun of or talk crap about the person who complained to the other employees. And when a customer is really rude when we go 'look in the back' for something, we legit just stand around and talk to other employees, and make zero effort to look for the item."

A_Womans_Thoughts

From the Box

Kaitlin Olson Brunch GIF by The MickGiphy

"I once worked at 'the area's premiere day spa'; the mimosas were made with Sunny D and not real orange juice, and the wines came out of a box."

SailorVenus23

Sunny D and champagne?!?!

What in the name of Lucifer?

Who does that?!

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.

Person taking notes
Photo by Unseen Studio on Unsplash

For anyone who has attempted to adopt a new habit, like rising earlier or exercising or eating healthier, they've likely heard the advice to make the change a little at a time, rather than trying to do it all at once.

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