Handing your class over to a substitute is one of those things teachers seem to universally feel some anxiety about.
You're not only handing over your space, but you're also handing over your kids, your plans, etc. Still, there are times that it's necessary and it's not like a substitute can mess things up too badly, right?
One Reddit user asked:
Teachers, What was the worst thing a substitute teacher did while you were gone?
So listen, there are countless wonderful and amazing substitute teachers around the world who education systems would totally fail without.
This article is not about them.
This article is about the folks who need to be led away in handcuffs.
This article is about folks who wake up on the HGTV side of the bed and decide to give the teacher's classroom a total makeover.
This article is about ... well ... these people.
Adam's "Phone"
i feel sick butters GIF by South Park GiphyI had a Grade 1 and 2 class last year and one student had diabetes. Let's call him Adam.
So Adam had a cell phone that beeps when his blood sugar is too low/high. It's connected to the monitor in his arm/hip. The cell phone has no other uses, no apps, no data, not connected to the school wifi.
The substitute saw his phone on his desk and promptly took it away as per the "no devices" rule.
During gym class an EA comes in to make sure everything is ok. Adam is visibly ill. He is pale, sweating; the whole works. Luckily this EA knows Adams medical plan, instantly asks the Adam for the phone and he explains that the substitute took it away in the morning.
The EA then LOSES IT on the substitute demanding the phone. The substitute calls in the principal - to demand that they reprimand the EA.
Instead, she got reprimanded herself as obviously she did not read the students safety plans.
She was asked to leave and the principal taught the class the rest of the day. Adam was fine, drank a couple juice boxes and had a granola bar. Mom picked him up shortly after.
The Miracle Of Birth
Back when I was a teacher, I had a sub decide my plans weren't good enough for her and went rogue. She decided to show my students videos of animals giving birth on YouTube.
I taught sixth-grade English...
Making The Space Your Own
Re-arranged my room.
Not in a "Moved Student A away from Student B and put her by Student C" way.
In a "Move the giant rug over to the opposite corner of the room, and completely change the layout of student desks, and rearrange a bookshelf" way.
- d239
I had the same thing happen!
Except she took my three big bookshelves apart and threw them in the dumpster. She said that she didn't like them and they didn't look like they belong in the room anyway.
I came back to the books just in a big pile in the middle of the room. Definitely the weirdest experience as a teacher.
- ilawsabs
Nap Time
Went to sleep for 1.5 hours. My class was freaking amazing—the sweetest, most thoughtful group I've ever had. When I got back the next day, I asked how the sub was.
Me: How was the sub?
Them: uhhh... he was fine. He kinda took a nap for a while.
Me: WHAT?! What did you guys do?
Them: Worked quietly so that we wouldn't wake him up. Eventually we ran out of work, so we just had silent reading.
Me: For how long?
Them: From when we started working until it was time to go outside.
Me: That's a really long time! Look, I am glad that you guys were so thoughtful, but if something like that ever happens again, please wake the sub up. It's not safe for the sub to sleep. He needed to be awake in case something happened.
Them: We would have woken him up if we really needed to. But we also figured he probably really needed the sleep.
Seriously. The SWEETEST class ever!
Such An Intriguing Cat
I had a cool Chinese Lucky Cat that went missing after I had a sub.
My students said the sub seemed really intrigued by it, talked about it several times, and even moved it from the shelf where it sat and brought it over to my desk.
It was gone when I returned the next day. 😒
How The Grinch Ruined Christmas
grinning the grinch GIFGiphyThe first year I taught 5th grade, I really wanted to do something special for my students before Christmas vacation.
I spoke with my team and we came up with the idea to make every single student a personalized Christmas ornament. We were going to surprise them by displaying the ornaments on a Christmas tree the day before vacation and they would be able to take them home.
I was gone for a department thing the day before we were going to set up the tree, and one of the least liked subs was scheduled for my class. Since I had stored all the ornaments in my closet, I simply asked if the students needed any supplies, make sure to get them yourself and not let them see the surprise.
The thing about this sub, and the reason she wasn't liked, was that her first line of defense was always to threaten to take away something from for misbehaving: recess, free time, lunch, etc.
I think you know where I'm going with this...
Fast forward to the end of the day, I get back to my classroom in the last 30 min of class so I could dismiss them.
All of a sudden, I'm met with 25 kids asking about their ornaments. I tried to play dumb and asked them what they were talking about.
Of course the sub said something.
She told the students about the ornaments and said if they misbehaved, she would tell me and I would take away their ornaments.
Instantly, I was filled with horror that the surprise was ruined for all 5th grade. They're kids, they told the whole grade during recess.
Also anger because that damn sub ruined the surprise and disappointment because I really wanted to see their faces when they walked through the door the next day and saw a special Christmas tree with their personalized ornaments.
It's not the biggest deal or anything, but I was really upset that weekend. To this day, when I talk to my old partners, I still refer to her as the Grinch!
They Left A Note
There was a harpsichord in the front of the classroom used both for demonstration and performance.
Not knowing what he was doing, the sub tried to tune 3 notes that had gone mildly out of tune while I was away. He managed to break the strings on all 3 notes and left a message inside reading: "Sorry about that . . ."
In 45 Minutes
A few of the periods I taught were co-teach classes where a percentage of the students in the class have special needs but can work well enough in a general population classroom with assistance from a special education co-instructor.
These classes were often very rewarding to teach, but one downside of teaching that population from a logistical standpoint is that I was often required to attend 'ARD' meetings. Basically every special education student has a meeting about twice a year, sometimes more frequently depending on need, where administrators, teachers, counselors, parents/guardians, and the student themself all get together to go over their status and review the various educational accommodations the student is receiving to determine what may or may not need to change to best suit their needs.
I didn't have a problem with attending these meetings per se, but because they only take ~1 period, and several teachers are rotating through various meetings over the course of a day, the school had devoted 'ARD subs' who were more akin to babysitters (at best) than substitute educators. That means that during that one period, hell can randomly break loose.
One year I had a 'tough' student who had some serious attitude problems, but was a good person underneath it all and with whom I'd done a lot of work with to improve her engagement and interest in my class.
About half way through the year, I got called for an ARD meeting during the period I had said student. In my absence of ~45 minutes the sub decided to pick a petty argument with my kid, who was rightfully offended but unwisely overreacted.
Things escalated to making threats and nearly coming to blows with the sub. My student ended up with in-school suspension for a while.
Getting the story from all parties and witnesses involved later, it was pretty clear the sub was to blame, and the kid who I'd worked so hard with was back at square one. I eventually got her back on track, end she ended up with one of the highest grades in my class at the end of the year.
I could only imagine how much better she could've been without that setback and the amount of trust in adults she'd lost after being punished for something the substitute teacher was at fault for.
What Actually Happened
I came back after being gone ONE DAY and my students told me the substitute teacher flipped over tables in a rage and was escorted from the building by a cop.
That's not what actually happened, but it's not far off.
Apparently the sub left the room to take a 20 min phone call and the kids thought it would be funny to flip the tables over.
The substitute then had to flip the tables right side up while yelling at the kids.
That's what they called "flipping tables in a rage."
So now let's talk about what actually actually happened after the table thing.
During lunch, my Special Ed. Co-teacher came into my room to set up and caught the sub MAKING OUT WITH A STUDENT.
She was 18 to his 25. That 20 min phone call he took earlier was to set up the lunch meeting.
The principal then had him removed from the building by the resource officer; so yeah he was escorted from the building by a cop.
This is why I say having a sub is more work than just coming into school my damn self.
Hell And The Holocaust
I'm the student in this case, but I'll still share the story because to this day I'm still fuming about it.
When I was in year nine history we were learning about the Holocaust. My teacher was out that day, and we had a sub who no one had ever met.
We all went into the classroom, sat down, and waited for him to say something. His first words to us, and I quote, were "The only thing humans have done that is worse than the Holocaust is the crucifixion of Christ."
Literally. No hello, no introduction, just that.
Now, in the class there were a lot of kids who were atheists, and a few from other religions. There were also three Jewish siblings whose great grandparents were murdered in a concentration camp.
People went absolutely wild, yelling at the sub of how insensitive that was when we had Jewish students whose own family were victims of the Holocaust.
The sub went bright red and started screaming that we were all going to hell and that we had sinned so terribly he couldn't bear to look at us. He left the room and that was the last we ever saw of him.
Lunch
Guy left his lunch plate in my room.
There was half a chicken thigh and rice on my desk when I showed up. That's bad enough, but it's not the worst part. The worst part was that it was a Friday sub.
I showed up on Monday. It smelled so bad.
NKOTB Oh No
hangin tough new kids on the block GIFGiphyI'm definitely late to the party that was last week, but I think this was a good one. I am a teacher, but was reminded of what I horrified by as a student.
This happened in the 4th grade. It was 1989 and The New Kids on the Block were performing for the school that sent in the most index cards with their school's name on it.
The Student Council was pushing for this every say for what seemed like a full year. It had gotten annoying. But those 8th graders gave their final plea over the PA system.
It was a Friday and out sub looked like she was having "a day."
Throughout the announcement, my Catholic grade school friends snickered, giggled and poked fun. Our substitute was visibly upset, "shush"ing kids, while talking to herself under her breath.
At the end of the announcement, we all erupted in a low "BOOO!" to which the substitute screamed at us: "EXCUSE ME! That is enough!"
She began to sob and cry, "How dare you do that to those people..."
Huh? We were more than a little confused.
"Put yourself in their shoes. What if you were a new person in a new city or town. Wouldn't you want people to be welcoming and loving when you arrived? How dare you laugh and make fun? and 'Boo' of all things! You should be ashamed of yourselves!"
Wiping her tears with crusty tissues from her pocket, she pointed to one of my classmates who raised her hand. "What, Meaghan?!"
The New Kids are a singing group.
Awkward.
Fuming Over Fumes
Oh my gosh. I totally forgot my best sub story until I read some of the others lol.
One day I was absent for district training. Most of my team was out, too. So there were several subs around. During first period, several of my students started complaining that a strong gasoline type smell was giving them a headache. It was really bad, and the substitute kept telling them she didn't smell anything. Same thing happened again the next period, but one of my students happened to be a principal's daughter. She texted her mom, who came to investigate. The smell was strong they smelled it in the hallway. They had to evacuate the entire 3600 student school while the fire department came to check it out. By the time they came, the smell in my room was gone.
However, several people still smelled the gasoline outside. The other substitutes were crowded together, and realized the smell was coming from MY SUBSTITUTE.
It was such a strange smell to be on a person that no one realized it was her. One of the principals asked her to go home and come back after lunch, after she had gotten rid of the smell (they didn't have any spare substitutes to cover my afternoon classes).
She came back...but this time she smelled like gasoline mixed with a bucket of perfume. She hadn't even changed clothes! It was so wild to hear that evening haha.
Mr. Retired Art Teacher
We have a retired art teacher who subs in our district, that pretty much ignores lesson plans and just does art all day. Long story short: I was recruited in November to take a class of 4th graders after their teacher just walked out of the classroom and quit.
I've got 13 days before parent/teacher conferences and I want my new classroom to look nice and welcoming for the kids and parents, so I spend the entire weekend decorating the classroom.
The following week I have to go to the district office for some training, paperwork etc. so I schedule a sub. Guess who I get?
Yep, Mr. Retired Art teacher - nobody had warned me about him at that point!
Not only does he ignore my lesson plan and do art all day, he takes down ALL of my decorations, kids work, required postings etc. and fills the walls with his "art." He took down everything I had just worked so hard doing.
Plus he throws my stuff in the garbage! That old man does not know how close he was to death when I saw what he did!!!
- furlie
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nogGiphyWho Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIFGiphySee You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIFGiphyHoly Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno CalypsoGiphyHappiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIFGiphyThe horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.