1. frozenncyborg asked: Why are adults woken up automatically when they need to pee, while young children pee the bed?
It's both learned and related to development.
All mammals have the instinct not to "soil the nest". We mostly train our babies out of this instinct by putting them in diapers and being totally oblivious to their signals that they want to pee, but it's possible to keep it going - there is a thing called Elimination Communication which is one of those "parenting movements" with an awful name but effectively, it's a googleable phrase which means you can find information about how to watch your infant for signs they are about to pee or poop and "catch" it in a little pot instead of using a diaper. This is also common practice in some non-Western cultures. Of course, if you want to do it at night you have to sleep in very close proximity to the infant. But doing this even very young babies will wake at night to pee and then go back to sleep.
So partly we train them out of it and then have to train them back into it again when we potty train. What happens when potty training is that toddlers are learning to associate the feelings of a full bladder/bowel with the imminent arrival of pee, and control the muscles around the urethra to hold it long enough to get to a toilet first. Children sleep much more deeply than adults - they tend to sleep through noise, for example, much more easily - and it's common that for some time during and after potty training they are either not aware enough of the nerve endings around the bladder to pay attention to them even during sleep or they are just too deeply asleep to notice these sensations. Once they become more accustomed to paying attention to these signals, they'll be more likely to wake up, assuming they are not too deeply asleep.
Secondly, the hormone part somebody mentioned below is also true but it's not strictly related to why we wake up, more the amount of pee created. The adult body produces a hormone called ADH (antidiuretic hormone) during sleep which tells the body to produce less urine during this time, meaning that adults rarely produce enough urine at night to get into a desperate enough state to wake us up. When we do, it's likely unusual enough that this is a significant factor as well. For children who haven't started producing this hormone yet (the exact age varies, but girls tend to develop it a couple of years earlier than boys, which is why boys are more likely to suffer from bedwetting for longer), the feeling of having a full bladder at night wouldn't necessarily be unusual meaning it's less likely to wake the child up.
Lastly there is the simple fact that adults tend not to be afraid of the dark and additionally are much more aware of where their limit for actually peeing themselves is, whereas children might delay getting out of bed because they are cold, scared, or just sleepy and they don't have as good of a handle on that tipping point yet because they don't have as much experience. (This is the same reasoning for why young children sometimes hold on so long that they just pee themselves because they were too busy playing or didn't know that they didn't have enough time to get to the toilet, whereas this rarely happens to adults without incontinence issues.) But again, this isn't strictly the same situation since you mentioned waking.
Submitted by caffeine_lights
2. BenRayfield asked: How did ancient people figure out that sex leads to kids, since the effects are so delayed?
They observed animals. They noted that women who did not have sex did not get pregnant. Some Neolithic art can be interpreted as actually showing Some Neolithic art can be interpreted as actually showing that they were aware of the relationship. But we can never know for sure.
Submitted by Rhynchelma
More interesting biological mysteries on the next page!
3. Polish_William asked: How come when you're sick you can blow your nose and they'll be completely empty and 5 minutes later they're full and dripping. How does mucus generate so quickly and where is it even made?
The mucus comes directly from the surface of your nose, called a mucous membrane because it produces mucus to protect itself and as lubrication. This mucus is a combination of long, stringy proteins and water, which allows it to stick to most surfaces.
We produce a ton of it while we have upper respiratory tract infections like the common cold because our immune systems are trying to isolate the virus causing the infection and prevent more from getting in. This measure isn't actually that effective, as it only slows down viruses and bacteria can swim right through it, but we do it anyway. Allergies do the same thing because they are an attempt by the immune system to attack something that isn't actually a disease, like pollen. We are less clear on why allergies happen, but some hypothesize that they occur due to infants and children living in environments that are far too clean. Their immune systems don't have anything to fight, so they start fighting random things instead.
Submitted by Frommerman
4. Hrothgarex asked: If you did a ton of sprints, going farther and building endurance, could you eventually full sprint a mile? Is there a limit we can push ourselves?
Professional sprinters can only hold their top speed for about 10 strides. Usain Bolt achieved and maintained his top speed for 8 strides during his 9.58s record 100m run.
Slow twitch muscles, where endurance is built in, are required even for 100m. The opposite is true for fast twitch muscles, one needs a speed to run a marathon. There is no clear physical boundary between a sprint and endurance runs. The difference between a sprint and endurance runs is in contribution of each muscle type. Sprint events "end" at 400m, and endurance events "begin" at 1500m, 800m is a like a 50-50 combo of the two, meaning 50% of work(=power*time) comes from each muscle type.
You can try to "sprint" a mile mentally, like go a full force from the start and try to hold for as long as possible. But physically it would be something like 95% of power by the fast muscles and 5% of power by the slow muscles from the start. Then the ratio changes as the run progresses, and in the end your power ratio is something like 20% and 80%. I'm making these numbers up, but you get the point.
Such attempted "sprint" would be extremely exhausting and maybe dangerous. I don't think even animals running for their lives from a predator can pull this off. They still tactically pace themselves and conserve strength even when a certain death is right behind them.
Submitted by iiRunner
Continue reading on the next page!
5. pmmecoolpianopics asked: What causes some people to be more "addiction prone" than others?
There are several factors at play, and it seems to vary from individual to individual. The problem of addiction and alcoholism has been around for millennia, and we still don't have something we can point to, and say, "There it is. There's the problem, right there."
Genetics seem to have an influence. It can cause a tendency to be prone to addiction, but is not the causative factor. There are studies of identical twins, where one is addicted, and the other, not. There are also "black sheep" that come from a long and wide genetic history of normal intoxicant use, but these "black sheep" become addicts.
Dr. Gabor Mate, in his book "In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts" postulates that it is a combination of a genetic predisposition to addiction, triggered by environmental conditions, which may include trauma, such as sexual molestation as a child.
As time continues, and the consumption of intoxicants continues, it messes with the normal distribution of certain neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and dopamine. It is speculated that genetic vulnerabilities make this rewiring of the brain easier, and this is why some people are more prone to addiction.
As the addiction takes hold over time, its effects begin to manifest in the environment of the addict. They spend time with other addicts, and tend to damage their relationships with the non-addicted. If you become drunk and aggressive, you don't get invited to too many parties...unless everyone else at the party tends to get drunk, too.
At this point, the genetic tendency has been fully triggered, and the environment becomes one that fosters the consumption of intoxicants. The brain has become rewired so that pleasure by normal means is elusive, but can be had in an instant with another helping of the drug of choice.
Now the spectre of withdrawal sets in....and to break the cycle requires a complete overhaul of one's life, as well as suffering the physical symptoms of withdrawal. At this point the addict feels trapped, hopeless, and alone. Feelings of shame, remorse and self-loathing are common...and again, the only escape from them is another dose.
But there is some hope. It has been proven that participating in a community of recovery is beneficial to many addicts...indeed, most recovered addicts claim that the loss of a sense of isolation, the feeling of belonging to a fellowship, and the advice and support of other recovering addicts was instrumental in their recovery.
I am an alcoholic in recovery. My brain is wired in such a manner that the consumption of the smallest amount of alcohol creates a powerful, and virtually irresistible, craving for more. I can't open a bottle of rum, have 2 drinks, and put the bottle on the shelf. I just can't. I will drink until that bottle is empty.
Through my work in AA I have learned better patterns of behaviour. If I am feeling unsettled...lonely, stressed, anxious...I no longer reach for a glass, or a joint, or a line, or a pill to make me feel better. I have slowly brought the wiring in my brain to a more normal state.
But I don't fool myself. The changes made to my brain are permanent, and if I have one drink, I risk falling back into state of addiction. This is why so many people fall "off the wagon". They believe that a period of sobriety has provided a measure of control, and that they now possess the ability to moderate their consumption. In my personal experience, i have never met an addict or alcoholic that could PERMANENTLY moderate. Some manage to, for a time, but gradually slip back into a state where the neurotransmitters are only experienced with intoxication.
So, I guess the short answer to your question is, "Nobody knows. It's different for each addict." Personally, I find my life without intoxicants to be vastly more rewarding, and I am much happier.
And maybe that's the root of it. People take drugs because they are unhappy, and want to change the way they feel. The genetically predisposed quickly find themselves in a position where the brain has rewired itself to the point where happiness is difficult to achieve without the drugs.
Submitted by PJMurphy
6. PM_UR_PICS_asked: Why is cannibalism detrimental to the body? What makes eating your own species's meat different than eating other species's?
Your own species meat is infected with diseases that can also infect you, by definition. (Conversely with other animals, some but not all diseases can be spread by under-cooked meat.) There are also some degenerative diseases that are spread by mis-shaped proteins, which you can generally only get by eating a human brain.
Submitted by simpleclear
Continue reading on the next page!
7. Elocmada asked: Why does adrenaline in certain circumstances give people super human strength? (Being able to lift extremely heavy things off of people, etc.)
First its important to note that so called feats of "hysterical strength" are not scientifically recognized, although they are well documented. They clearly happen, but science has a hard time testing them, because its obviously very hard to reproduce in a lab.
However, they have given small tests, like testing grip strength, and then electrically stimulated the muscles and tested again, and found that people exhibit about 25% more strength under electroshock, which definitely verifies people are in general stronger than they're normally able to access. Additionally, you may have heard of people being flung across an entire room after being electrocuted. This isn't because of the electricity - electricity doesn't move things like that - its because the shock caused massive muscle contraction, and the people flung themselves across the room, jumping far further than they would have believed possible under normal circumstances.
So, because they can't test hysterical strength, we can only hypothesize why adrenaline causes it. More than likely it is because your muscles are under several inhibitory systems, including pain as well as the neurological restriction of simply having not enough signalling at any given time to activate all the muscle fibres in a group. Strength isn't just about raw strength, its about timing; you need one perfectly timed electrical burst to signal all fibres to work in concert when exerting force. The more fibres activated simultaneously, the more strength you'll have.
Adrenaline most likely acts to remove several different limiter systems. Your pain sensation is dulled or removed entirely, your blood vessels are dilated and your muscles are more heavily oxygenated, and your neural activity increases; more brain activity = increased signalling, which means you're better able to activate more muscle fibres at once.
The reason we can't do this all the time is fairly obvious - it puts much more strain on the body and consumes far more energy. Since our bodies evolved in times of scarcity, our bodies evolved a logical mechanism for limiting the bodies ability to use its full strength and energy; only when the brain sensed certain stimuli (a tiger, a child in trouble), would it release its natural chemicals that overrode its own internal limiters, allowing for a brief state of higher muscle performance.
Answered by ninemiletree
8. Consinneration asked: Why is it that when you get hit (I.e. bang your head on a corner) you instinctively apply pressure with your hands? Why does that seem to help?
Your body can only process so much sensation at once. By touching the place that you've hurt, you're basically distracting your brain from the sensation of pain by introducing pressure.
It's another reason why ice packs can help with pain - not only do they reduce swelling, they introduce the cold sensation and give your brain something else to think about other than the pain.
Edit: what I've described above is apparently known as Gate Control Theory. I didn't know this, all I've done is transcribed the explanation that I was given when I was little, because my dad is a very knowledgeable man and I used to ask a lot of questions!
I think it's worth noting some of the other theories given below that may have been buried: you instinctively check the damage to see if you are bleeding or missing anything; you place pressure on the area to stem the bleeding.
I'd imagine it's a combination of the three, and probably more! Thanks for your input everyone. I've learned a lot today.
Submitted by BindweedHawkmoth
Continue reading answers to your burning biological questions on the next page!
9. MaxwellVador asked: Where does our head voice come from if it doesn't sound like our actual voice?
The psychological theory of bicameralism [a hypothesis in psychology that argues that the human mind once assumed a state in which cognitive functions were divided between one part of the brain which appears to be "speaking", and a second part which listens and obeysa bicameral mind] is controversial, but interesting nonetheless.
It basically states that humans developed consciousness with an intermediary step -- bicameralism. This involved two parts of the brain communicating, one is talking to the other and telling it what to do. The author states that this is where the concept of "god" came from, as early humans were literally hearing another voice giving them commands. Over time this evolved into true consciousness with an internal dialogue.
Some of these themes are being addressed (via artificially-intelligent androids) in HBO's new series Westworld.
Answered by TheLorenzo
10. AmericanPixel asked: Why do men appear to have a "stitch line" or "scar line" at the base of their ballsac?
Saying it "started out as a vagina" is an overstatement, but it's grounded in truth.
When we're forming in the womb, we start with a shallow slit between our legs. For women, that slit deepens while in men it stitches together.
The left side is grown, the right side is grown, and then they fuse together. Later, the testes descend into them.
Calling it a vagina at that stage in development isn't really accurate; a vagina is more than just a gap in skin, it's a structurally complex organ with a dozen different unique cells and its own intricate biology. The prenatal gap superficially, however, is closer in appearance to a vulva than to testicles, hence the common narrative that we all start as women.
More biological mysteries on the next page!
11. LebumGermsJr asked: Why does a hangover get worse as we age?
Alcohol is metabolized by liver enzymes and first broken down into acetaldehyde - which is our hangover culprit. After that, it is broken down by an enzyme into acetate which eventually turns into carbon dioxide and water. All are then washed out along with sins from the night before...
The number of enzymes used in this two step metabolism process slowly dwindles as we age, making us less and less efficient at processing the toxins. This means that the asshole acetaldehyde hangs around longer in our aged bodies that it did before, making us feel like we're slowly dying.
Submitted by marriedtodata
12. MisterE_MD asked: Why do animals (including humans), in general, become less playful as they grow older?
Play is all about exercise and learning. Part of it is simply about increasing strength and coordination. A lot of it is about learning valuable physical skills like stalking, fighting, chasing, catching etc. And a lot of it is about learning non physical skills. For instance a lot of young animals (including humans) do mischief because it teaches them about social boundaries.
Young animals go too far in their play because they only learn about social boundaries when an adult puts them in their place. Along the same lines, they learn about appropriate consequences by watching adults interact with other adults.
And finally play teaches young animals about their personal limitations. Theyll teach it to climb fearlessly because it knows what it can and cant do. Itll know how fast it can run, how far it can jump and so on. Itll help them learn that their abilities increase as they grow because they run faster and jump farther than they could last week during the same game.
Play tends to be unique to animals whose abilities change and grow with them. You wont see much play among insects, arachnids and most reptiles for instance. Theyre born fully capable (even though practice and learning can improve their capabilities).
Submitted by TheSecretMe
Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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