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Taxi Drivers Break Down Which Private Conversations They Wish They'd Never Overheard

Taxi Drivers Break Down Which Private Conversations They Wish They'd Never Overheard
Photo by Adrien Ledoux on Unsplash

One of the occupational hazards of being a cab driver is being forced to hear all of the things happening in your back seat, regardless of whether you want to or not.

Now, being a cab driver isn't a legal binding, so if it's something very dangerous, you're allowed to contact the authorities. But you have to be there experiencing every moment of it anyway.

u/xull_the-rich asked:

Taxi drivers of Reddit, what private conversation did you overhear that you wish you never did?

Here were some of those answers.

Was The Money Worth It?

I used drive taxi on the Big Island, HI. I picked up a couple late one night from a bar, they were clearly intoxicated and they tell me what hotel, it's a bit of a drive. Good money. So we're going along, I don't hear any talking. But after about ten minutes I hear something like stirring mac n cheese if ya know what I mean. I briefly look behind and see them going at it. I really wish I hadn't. I told them to stop, but they didn't seem to care. By the time I dropped them off, I had made a $200 tip.

Megan_Me_Mad

Unwanted Acquisitions

Only drove cab for a few months many years ago, but I drove the graveyard shift and saw and heard lots of interesting things in that short time. One night a couple, who were obviously of low socioeconomic status, got in my cab and were at each other's throats bickering from the very beginning. There was something about a missing ring and failed drug scores.

Then the woman said something that must have really pissed off the guy because he paused for a second and said, "B*tch, you gave me siphyllis and herpes, so SHUT THE F*** UP!!" There were a few minutes of quiet after that before the bickering started again.

noahisaac

Fuzzy!

(Man on phone with what I assumed was customer service)

"No you delivered the package to the wrong house....no....no... the white one. Yes....yes... really who else around here has been trying to order live alpacas?!"

PonderQuestions

Bye, Felicio

When I drove Uber, I picked up this couple from a strip club a little after midnight. The girl was obviously a stripper, and the guy was a pompous dickhead that was trying to pick her up. He spends the whole ride talking about how rich and smart he is and how successful his business is going to be. At first, she's asking about it and about his life, showing genuine interest.

He deflects all of these questions and goes back to just talking about how he's such a genius. Then she's trying to change the subject, wanting to talk about literally anything else.

At one point she asks, "So what kind of stuff do you and your friends do for fun?" He responds with this tone of voice that I could basically hear him rolling his eyes at how stupid her question is. "I don't have friends. I have colleagues. Fun is what people do when they have free time. I'm too invested in my start-up for something like that," he says as he's leaving a strip club…

It was the most painful conversation I'd ever had to sit through.

When we finally get to the destination, his apartment, they get out, and she tells him, "Let me just get my purse." She walks over to the passenger side front door, gets in, and tells me to go. So I did. She was the one paying for the ride anyway. She changes the destination to her place, and asks to put on the radio. The rest of the ride was pretty quiet. We get to her place, I drop her off, and she leaves me a $20 tip. Definitely worth it in the end, but damn that was hard to listen to.

BotchedAttempt

This Poor Poor Girl

Not exactly what this thread is about but I think applicable. I was driving a school bus, subbing on a kindergarten route. One little 5 year old gets on and proceeds to tell me: "I helped fix Daddys lunch. I gived him a sammich and some potato chips and a apple and his lucky coin. He has to have his lucky coin or he gets mad and hits Mommy."

Brought tears to my eyes at the thought of what this darling little human had witnessed.

kpbiker1

Avoiding For A Decade

Not a driver, but a passenger and this conversation made me not take a taxi for 11 years. I was drunk coming home at 3 in the morning and the driver tells me he has this amazing business idea, but doesn't know how to get it going.

Me in my drunk infinite wisdom asks him what it is and see if I can help.

He obliges and says "You know dog poop? You know how it sticks to your shoe and you can never get it off? There's something in that. Some kind of adhesive. I'm going to find out what it is and make a killing!"

Screambloodyleprosy

A Court Date

My dad was getting an Uber to the airport and the driver had his hands free setup to go through the car speakers.

While they are chatting the guy gets a call and it's from court asking where he is? He says he can't make it cause he's crashed his car. My dad said the funniest bit was this call went on for a while but when he hung up the guy just went back to chatting with no mention of the call like it didn't happen.

My dad spent the rest of the ride nervously wondering what he was missing at court.

willy_teee

Cause It's Not The Kids' Fault

My husband was a full time Uber driver for a few years. One day, he picked up this guy his age who was going to a residential area. They're small talking, and the guy tells him, "yeah, just going to my girl's house, we just started dating, she's so hot, etc." The address was the house of my husband's best friend's long term girlfriend. She was cheating on her boyfriend and actually got pregnant.

My husband told me about it and said, "I literally could have brought him over there the time they conceived the baby." He didn't say anything to the guy at the time. He chose to tell his best friend, who didn't believe him, initially. The paternity test proved the best friend wasn't the bio father, but he's raised the kid and treats them as his own.

chicken_arise_

Cliches Don't Get Old For A Reason

Not a taxi driver, but one time on the bus this guy sitting next to me is talking on the phone about some really weird stuff. This was over 10 years ago, but I vaguely remember him talking about court dates and getting a new burner phone. And then he went on to repeatedly tell the person on the phone to dump the body. He was really casual about it too, like it wasn't a big deal.

I tried to justify it by telling myself maybe he was a mechanic or worked at a scrap yard or something and he was referring to a car or....idk. I'm not sure if that even makes any sense. I just couldn't possibly imagine anybody would be in public openly talking about disposing of a dead body.

fancypants888

Oh. Myyyy.

A young woman talking to her mate about how clingy her soon to be ex husband was.

'If he doesn't start leaving me alone, I'm going to sleep with his brother.' His (non working) car was parked in her drive. When I pulled up to her house, 2am, he was asleep in the car. Yep, clingy. Never saw her again so I don't know if she slept with his brother or not.

jm51

Do you hear you?!

I drove a mini-van taxi, so minus the driver seat there were 6 seats.

One evening around bar close, I get a full cab of 6 people. One woman sits up front with me. We are both white, everyone else in the cab is black. As we're waiting behind the bar for their last friend to come out, this woman WILL NOT STOP USING THE N-WORD! Like every freaking sentence!

She was using it without the hard R, but still. None of the black people said anything, so I just looked out the window and disassociated until it was time for me to drive.

PrSquid

Stay Silent.

Former cabbie. Once had a drunk lady who worked at the zoo talk enthusiastically about all the different animal's genitals. To be fair she sounded more like a kid talking about gross bugs than an animal obsessor. Still weird.

plato_shrimp

What is a Name?

If they tell you they'll probably have to change their name all over again.

shroomlover0420

Every time one of my coworkers is gone for a while unexplained, I assume they were outed as an international spy and will come back to work in a few weeks with one letter changed. Rick becomes Nick. So far no dice. Did have one leave Mary and come back Eric. Names changed for privacy. (That line has layers).

TuckerMouse

Keep Singing. 

Not a taxi driver but a couple of years ago I was getting the last tram at around 12am, while getting in I passed this punk looking couple and there is a break in-between the songs I'm listening to on my headphones as I pass them just long enough for me to her him say "It was like that other time where I stabbed the Russian guy" I sat down a row behind them before my drunken brain processed the information.

CashireCat

Taxi Films

(Passenger) Here, we take cab to travel between cities, there is certain stations and the cab starts when the forth passenger gets on it. Three in the back and one in the front seat. I was 25. One afternoon going back to my hometown, I went to the station, the cab's front seat was occupied so I sat in the back.

The next passenger, this gentleman around 40, in a suit, with a briefcase, got on. Politely said hi and took his phone and earphone out of the suitcase and started to watch porn on his phone for 10 minutes. all this time he never tried to hide his screen. Next passenger came and cab left the station.

mhjahanbakhshi

Oh Ladies....

Trashy strippers. Very distinct from working girl strippers.

Picked up 4 of them and they wanted to hit the McDonald's drive-thru. They proceed to be loud, obnoxious, probably drunk, and yell at and just generally give a hard time to every worker there all the while they talk crap about the other dancers being skanks, coke heads, and "thinking they're better than everyone else".

Oh, and of course they didn't tip. Even though, yeah, they get paid in tips, too. Strippers that couldn't be nice to fast food workers, hated their coworkers to a venomous degree, and get paid in tips, but couldn't tip other people.

LoneQuietus81

State Lines

The conversation was between my friend and I when we were being taken back to my place after drunkenly leaving a concert by an Uber. Not disturbing really, we were very confused, however, about why the driver had taken us to a different state.

rhett342

A Sympathetic Ear

Not a driver but a passenger. My parents are divorced, and when we stayed at our fathers home, he kicked us out. We had to call a cab. It was the middle of the night, our mum was going to bed, and we were lucky she heard our calls. Anyways, as me and my brother were very young, me especially, my brother explained what had just happened, and we talked about what the future would look like. We thought that the driver wasn't listening. As our mum was paying the man, he told her how lucky she is to have so smart children and wiped his tears away. Idk if he didn't want to hear it but man did i fell bad.

MilaB1507

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REDDIT

taxi

Non-Sexual Things Married People Look Foward To Doing When Their Partner's Away

Reddit user shaka_sulu asked: 'Married folks, what's a non-sexual thing you look forward doing at home only when your spouse is away?'

Man enjoying sangria solo
Sangria Señorial/Unsplash

When the cat's away, the mice will play.

That scenario could apply to many situations, but it generally refers to an individual enjoying temporary freedom to do as they please in the absence of a foe or constant companion.

In romantic couplings, this may involve a spouse or significant other finally engaging in private activity that could be frowned upon in the presence of the other person.

Curious to hear examples, Redditor shaka_sulu asked:

"Married folks, what's a non-sexual thing you look forward doing at home only when your spouse is away?"

Some people are happy to take up extra space.

Spacious Parking

"Parking my car in the middle of the garage."

– starkpaella

"Genius answer. It always brings joy."

– Heynicejobtoday

Hush

"The quiet. My husband constantly has the TV on, even if he’s not watching, and I enjoy silence."

– 2workigo

"This. My wife lived alone for many years and always has the TV on, even uses the one in the bedroom as noise to fall asleep to. The first thing I do when she’s gone is make sure all the noisemakers are shut off around the house. Well, except the cats. They don’t have off buttons."

– jaybeeg

Bed Positions

"Sleeping on the diagonal."

– snogweasel

"When you're there, I sleep lengthwise And when you're gone I sleep diagonal in my bed."

– downvotingprofile

Quiet Viewing

"I had a day off work today. Husband was at work, kids at school, so after I did the school run I came home, wrapped myself in our softest heated blanket, lay on the sofa and watched 3 movies with no interruptions. It was bliss."

– PheonixKernow

These Redditors can finally revel in their respective indulgences when they finally have the place to themselves.

Taste In The Finer Things

"The wife is a picky eater. When she is away, I either make a meal that she doesn’t like or I go to a restaurant that she doesn’t care for."

"It’s the little things. 😂"

– aizzo4

All Mine

"I cook almost all the meals. Almost being that we occasionally get take out. When I have a day off and my husband is working and my kids are at school/daycare, I go get breakfast and Waffle House. By myself. I sit there and eat a waffle, two scrambled eggs and bacon and I DONT HAVE TO F'KING SHARE! My husband despises Waffle House, but f'k I love those waffles. My parents used to have a waffle iron that made the traditional style waffles with the tiny squares until the cord shorted out. I miss them."

– missag_2490

Cheers

"My wife is in recovery, six years sober, and I support her in every way possible including, obviously, no alcohol in the house. If she’s away for a few days, I’ll grill me some steak tacos and wash them down with a really good Cabernet."

– Tom__mm

"I’m a recovering addict and I think you’re a great husband."

– JLHuston

Screen Time

"Watching TV shows he'd never watch, on the big TV."

– sexrockandroll

"There isn't an ancient aliens, shows from the early 80s (chuck Norris and Jack klugman), or horror movies that he won't watch - pausing every 3 seconds in case I miss something - that WE have to watch. When he travels for work I relish the quiet. Even the weather channel is enjoyable."

"My love for my husband has no end but he has the stupidest taste in shows yet whines if I would rather deep clean the basement than deal with any of it."

"But I can only deep clean the basement so many times..."

– Big-Mine9790

To each his/her/their own.

The Organizer

"Deep cleaning and reorganizing. I know, I'm a real party."

– Dependent_Top_4425

"You are my people. The garage door is hardly down before I'm getting busy!"

"There is not one thing better in this whole world than having some alone time in my spotless house."

– Individual-Army811

Everything But The Kitchen Sink

"Hike all day, get the sh**ty chinese takeout that she hates and I love despite knowing full well it’s objectively not good, and drink some nice beer while watching movies all night."

– holographoc

Establishing Order

"Putting things down and having them still be there when I want them."

"Having a clean house that stays that way for more than 30 seconds. I love him, but he's just a whirlwind of plates and seltzer cans some days."

– Lyeta1_1

When my husband's away, I watch all the horror films that have been stacking up in the queues of my streaming platforms.

He has a weak stomach for gore and violence, so we often avoid home invasion movies or slasher flicks and instead stick to comedy, drama, or dramedies, and documentaries.

Which is all well and good.

But when I have the place all to myself, I bust out the wine and Doritos and watch the latest Halloween or Scream movies I've been missing out on.

marriage

People Reveal The Stupidest Thing They've Ever Heard Someone Say

Woman covering her mouth laughing
Photo by Leighann Blackwood on Unsplash

We've all had a conversation with someone where they say something where they've said something incorrect or inaccurate.

Sometimes, our gut reaction is just to laugh, as it was an honest mistake, such as mixing up a pair of celebrities or misusing or mispronouncing a word.

Other times, we might feel the need to put them in their place and not only correct them but educate them.

Then there are the times when we have just heard something so shockingly inane that we are left completely and utterly speechless.

Redditor Moo1124 was eager to hear all the dumb things the Reddit community heard which left them dumbfounded, leading them to ask:

"What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard anyone say?"

Before You Denounce Something, Make Sure You Know What It Is

"'I don't believe in astronomy'."

"We asked her if she meant astrology, and she asked, 'which is the one where like, you can tell what stars are made of?''

"We confirmed that was astronomy'."

"'Yeah, I don't believe in that'."- octohog

That Explains All The Traffic Jams?

"That when you press on the horn of your car, it lowers the amount of air in your front right tire due to it helping make that horn sound."- Boomstick123456

Oh, Dear...

"I was walking around the ruins of the ancient cliff dwellings at Mesa Verde just outside of Mancos, Colorado, (where the Ancient Puebloans lived from approximately 550 A.D. to 1300 A.D.) when a visitor asked the tour guide:"

"'Why did they build their homes so far from the highway?'"- badwolf1013

driving los angeles GIF by HOLLYWOOD LOVE STORYGiphy

Ribbet...

“'I can shoot with my left hand, I can shoot with my right hand, I'm amphibious'."- Master_Grape5931

Racist No Matter What...

"Apparently when my daughter was first born she looked vaguely East Asian."

"Enough, at least, for the nurses to ask if I was sure it was my baby."

"Now that was an incredibly weird thing to say to a new dad meeting his daughter for the first time, but it wasn't the stupidest thing someone said about this situation."

"That happened when I was retelling the above story to a client in a meeting."

"He asked to see a photo of my kid as a newborn, remarked how she really did 'look Asian', and then proceeded to ask if I thought my child might end up having an Asian accent when she got older."- JoeyCalamaro

"Where are you from, China or Asia?"- SonaPen22

Cbs No GIF by HULUGiphy

When Life Gives You Lemons

"Asked someone if they drove a stick."

"They responded, 'no, I drive a car'."

"Now I have a dad joke I’ll remember forever."- 99problemsbut

ID Please...

"I once found a big bulldog in my back yard."

"I don't own a bulldog."

"He was a big friendly, but slow witted guy."

"He look healthy and had a collar but no tags so I knew he was a local."

"I made sure he had water and went to the front yard to start knocking on doors."

"As soon as I stepped outside I saw the family three houses down all gathered in their front yard."

"So another case closed for our young detective."

"I walked over to them and said, 'You guys missing a bulldog?'"

"The mother looked at me and said, 'Is his name Tyson?'"

"The question took me aback."

"I mean, he didn't have tags."

"They knew he didn't have tags."

"So all I could think to say was, 'He didn't say'."

"'But I'm pretty sure he's yours'."

"To this day I wonder if that woman knew how dumb that question was."- Spodson

looks stupid english bulldog GIFGiphy

Under The Influence

"Stoned friend ."

"What year is February in?'"- IHave47Teeth

Woof Woof...

"My teacher told a class of 16-17 year olds about that super loyal dog in Japan who walked to the train station daily for nine years to wait for his owner, who died at work."

"After hearing that story, a girl raised her hand and asked 'Why didn't somebody just tell the dog?'"- Senator_Ruth_Martin

That's Why The FDA Warns Against It...

"When I was 12 years old a friend told me 'smoking is good for you because the smoke makes a shield around your heart when you breathe it in'."

"He argued that the smoke could prevent you from being stabbed or shot."

"Even at 12 I knew he was a moron."- ipondy

There's Denying Global Warming, And Then...

"Solar panels will cause a global ice age, because the law of thermodynamics states energy cannot be created or destroyed, so obviously they must be removing heat from the air."

"With no sense of irony of the scale nor efficiency (or lack thereof) of solar panels and their capacity to cool."- peptobiscuit

In Debt, Maybe...

"I knew a Finance major in college who thought he was worth $20k because he had two credit cards with $10k limit each."- alano134

No one loves a know-it-all.

Especially when they don't actually know anything at all...


stupid

People Who Shoplift Regularly Explain Why They Do It

A man with an ostentatious watch rifles through a wardrobe
Photo by charlesdeluvio

Shoplifting is a prevalent issue, but why do people do it?

Some reasons can be as banal as boredom, but other are far more intruiging.

Redditor WineOhCanada wanted to understand why people steal, so they asked:

"People who shoplift on the regular: why do you do it?"

I loved shoplifting.

Until I was caught, that is. I was a price tag switcher.

I apologize.

So Excited

Happy Thomas Lennon GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy

"It makes me feel alive. Jk I don't any more but as a kid, it was for sure a thrill thing."

silly-billy-goat

The Need

"I’m going to give an actual honest answer as someone who has not done this in many years… it becomes addicting."

anewchapteroflife

"Came here to say this. Back in my high school days, I would do it all the time. It's like a rush. Now my shoplifting days are when I forgot the can of soup on the bottom of the grocery cart and don't realize til I'm loading it in the car."

TheRumpleForesk1n

"I used to work in loss prevention. A lot of times we would let you go; especially teenagers. We knew you would be back and have pictures on the wall of you. We focused on shoplifting rings with a higher dollar amount and employees. Employees rob you blind."

taco_cop

The Hit

"I was greedy and had poor impulse control. While shoplifting was terrifying... having the shiny new thing after gave me a dopamine hit. I got caught three or four times and I thank Christ I was under 18 each and every time."

happyele

"It was less about greed for me I think, I've never been addicted to any drugs, whenever I got caught I would always test negative for anything, the custody sergeant who would take my fingerprints/DNA/drug swab would say 'Sean you're the only one that comes in regular that's not on any drugs, what's going on?' I explained that I was homeless, lost my job because the company I worked for folded, and life just kicked me in the butt."

"Flirty Chez I called her, and she would always give me extra food whenever I was brought in, I just thought that was how she was, then one day she said I need a girlfriend and I shot her down, no more flirty Chez. She was shooting her shot and I rejected her without even knowing it."

hardcoresean84

Exchanges

"Much to my mom’s embarrassment, I was a serial shoplifter as a baby. At least I had the presence of mind to take off my socks and shoes and leave them scattered around the store in exchange."

UsualFrogFriendship

"I was once on a camping trip with my parents. We left the campsite for a day and when we got back our soap had been stolen from the tent. Just our soap, nothing else was taken, but we did find the shoes of the perpetrator!"

"This kid left them right at the entrance of our tent, so it was not difficult to find out who did it. When we went to get the soap back and give him back his shoes, sadly the kid threw it over a fence, so we never got it back."

ptbroeke

Influences

Breaking Bad Crying GIFGiphy

"My easily influenced mind was corrupted by TV. If it's good enough for Marie Schrader then it's good enough for me."

DavosLostFingers

TV rots your brains and decision making capabilities.

Do the opposite of your favorite characters.

End of Times

Nbc Shoplifting GIF by SuperstoreGiphy

"When I was bedridden due to Covid, I had a friend who shoplifted a whole damn box worth of medicine from different drugstores."

"I was very impressed and confused, as I didn't ask for it. Great friend though!"

pepper-blu

Criminals

"As a former loss prevention officer, most of the people I stopped were stealing to resell the items. Many people were clearly drug addicts and many people I stopped had meth and other drugs on them. Not every shoplifter is stealing to buy drugs, but a ton of them are."

"A lot of other people just stole items they wanted, and some people just have a stealing problem and would take whatever random BS they came across and thought would be easy to steal. If I ever saw someone stealing food I'd usually look the other way, but that was pretty rare to see someone taking food, it was usually clothes, electronics, makeup, or tools."

BigBudZombie

The Rush

"Addiction. And that's addiction to shoplifting, not drugs. It's a rush. Confidence grows with each success. It becomes an obsession. It brings an amount of power when stealing from giant corporations. For me, this question is similar to asking an addict why they are addicted to drugs or alcohol."

"I haven't shoplifted in three years. I attended Shoplifters Anonymous and continue to go to therapy which are both very helpful. I'm very lucky I didn't lose everything."

tacoterrarium

Self-Control

"In high school, I dated this guy who would shoplift and I got influenced to start doing it. After we broke up I kept doing it all throughout college since I was a broke college student who had no self-control. I only shoplifted from big retail stores and told myself it was 'okay.' Post college I stopped because the possible consequences as an adult and to my career were not worth it."

isatacobelle

There was no good in it

"I used to do it as a means to support my drug habit. I wouldn't call what I was doing shoplifting though. I moved the volume and high-end merchandise. Honda generators from Home Depot or Lowe's. Shopping carts full of Tide pods, and Similac baby formula. I'd hit Nordstrom during the holidays for their perfumes and colognes. COACH, Burberry for purses."

"I made a good chunk of change from it, yet I was still homeless. Most of my money went to drugs, and hotel rooms at shi**y hotels. I'm no longer like this. I reached out and went to rehab this past July. I now have 132 days clean and sober, and work an honest job. My life's boring as hell now and I love it. Even though people on the street complimented and applauded my skills."

"I was never proud of myself for any of the stealing I was doing. There was no good in it. Now I feel good about myself and can be proud of what I do. It's a nice feeling to go into a store and not have to be aware of my surroundings and not tighten up when the greeters ask for a receipt. Because now, I can happily show them one. Lol."

Crotch-Monster

Think First

Steve Austin Wrestling GIF by WWEGiphy

"I work for a 3-letter retail store in NV and we have a ton of theft. I see a lot of random products for sale on the FB marketplace. If it adds up to over $1,200 it’s grand larceny and you get arrested."

"Walmart also allows up to a certain amount to be returned with no receipt and you get cash back."

samisalwaysmad

What have we learned kids?

Theft never really pays.

Do you have any experiences? Let us know in the comments below.

shoplift

The Absolute Weirdest Questions People Have Been Asked In A Job Interview

job interview
Van Tay Media on Unsplash

I once burst out laughing during a job interview.

It was for an internal position so I knew all of the interviewers well, but even if I hadn't I doubt I could have kept a straight face.

What cracked me up?

This interview question:

"If I attended a backyard BBQ with your last boss, what do you think they'd say about you?"

After I stopped laughing,

I told the interviewer—who happened to be my then boss' boss:

"I'm sorry, but that sounds like a question from the Miss America Pageant."

The interview panel got a laugh out of that. And yes, I did answer the question.

So what odd, absurd or just plain strange interview questions have people gotten?

Keep reading...Show less
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