We all make mistakes. Usually, though, the products of our mistakes aren't permanently etched into someone else's skin. Tattoo artist unfortunately force their clients to live with their mistakes for their entire lives.
Here were some of the answers.
My best friend's father operated a tattoo parlor out of a small KS town at one point. He had two assistants, but typically was alone in the shop during non-busy hours. Had a client who came in reeking of hookah smoke (that thick, syrupy smell from the "double apple" brand of shisha that's so popular in fake-*ss hookah places). Whatever, guy's not inebriated and he has a design for a half-sleeve that looks pretty rad, so let's do it. About 2 hours in the guy on the table sniffs heavily and says, "Huh, I smell a lot of smoke." Well no sh*t dude, you're covered in hookah bar stank.
Nope, building next door's on fire. And these buildings are all right next to each other.
My friend's father realizes time is a factor and tells the guy "I'll do this tattoo for free (would have been about $800 otherwise with coloring) if you help me carry the expensive sh*t out of here before it burns down." Spends the next 5 minutes frantically loading said expensive sh*t into his truck bed before the building does indeed start to burn down (fire department got there about 15 minutes later, not too much damage but smoke everywhere and the building gets condemned later on).
Funny epilogue, once the new studio is up and running about 2 months later, hookah guy ends up wanting to pay the difference to update to a full sleeve and gets stylized flames all over the other half to commemorate the experience.
It's Like You're My Mirror
After a few years of tattooing, I had moved & started at a new studio. I was a pretty new hire at the time. I obviously wanted to show my employers I was competent.
One of the co-owners had a coworker/friend from his other job at a casino come in for some tattoos on her back. They were two tribal looking symbols, apparently in some Asian language (She herself was an immigrant & vouched for the meanings).
Long story shorter, I get a phone call about 2 weeks later. The lady was upset & insisted I had tattooed the symbols backwards! Mind you, I am very cautious. I always have my clients look at the design(s) on paper, sign off on paperwork, check the stencil before & after application. So, despite feeling pretty sure I didn't mess up the placement, I was a bit freaked out. I told her to come into the shop right away to check it out.
She came back in, and I pulled up the jpeg of her tattoo lines (I save everything). She confirmed they were correct. She went back to my station & showed me her back. The tattoos matched perfectly! She looked in the mirror and continued to argue they were backwards. Smh.
So, I took the paper with the line work & showed her. She agreed again that they looked correct. Then I showed her the paper in the mirror, next to her tattoos. Obviously, to me at least, mirrors show the inverse image.
This lady looked shocked, like I had just performed a magic trick. Well, despite being about 50 years old, she never realized mirrors will make lettering/images appear backwards. She laughed, and began to apologize profusely. Told me she'd tell my boss & everyone else that she badmouthed me for no reason.
I had one other lady experience thus years later. It took every member of the shop staff to explain to her how mirrors work.
The Entire Back
Back when my first tattoo artist was still in business I came in to get a tattoo done by his apprentice.
As she doing mine she tells me about the day before, she had had a lady pay to get Cinderella's castle tattooed on her entire back. My artist had spent the while week getting it ready. Lady comes in to get the line work done. They get towards the end of the session and this lady starts taking about how she cant wait to see what Snow White's castle looks like finished.
My artist told me she had a heart attack. This tat was massive and if it was the wrong castle there was no way to change it. She said she immediately started questioning the woman, totally panicked. Turns out lady had had a bit of a brain fart. She maent to say Cinderella. She apologized for the confusion and they finished the session without any more issues.
She said that after that woman said Snow White it was the most terrifying 5 minutes of her life.
One Jump Ahead
Not an artist but an artist who was working on me told me this story of something that happened in the shop:
The shop hired a new tattoo artist who was under the influence one day (they didn't know him too well so they didn't know if it was just his personality or not). He's working on this guy who is a hippie, stoned as all hell. He's tattooing a Tiger on him. Apparently he tattooed an extra leg by accident on the Tiger and when they were finished, the client was beyond irritated and goes "I don't mean to trip out man, but what's with the extra leg" the tattoo artist just looks at him and goes "he's just one step ahead of the game, man" the client, for some reason, got a huge kick out of it and ended up loving it and it ended there.
They fired him immediately.
Was doing a cover up on a small wrist tattoo for a girl. After about a half hour she got kind of quiet and clammy so I asked if she wanted a break. I got up to take off my gloves and she slumped off the chair. Luckily I caught her and tried to wake her up. After about 5 minutes she came to and we got her a granola bar and she perked up. I was the newbie at the shop so all the other artists were laughing at me for freaking out over a passed out client.
It's Gonna Hurt
Girl comes in fresh faced, just turned 18 and ready to make the step into getting a tattoo.
She was after a henna style lotus flower on the centre of her back.
"OK, cool" I thought.. Probably 2 hours work, tops?
Fast forward a few weeks to the appointment. Consent form has been filled in and signed. I put my old squiggle on the bottom.
She gets laid down after I've put the stencil on and I begin. She tenses up and says it really hurts. I reassure her that after the first 10 minutes or so it does get easier. At around the 17 minute mark she erupts into tears. Not just the odd tear but I mean hysterics. Her make up was running down her face and she was crying out at every line.
If any of you have played the remaster of Resident Evil, she literally sounded like Lisa Trevor.
I ask her if she wanted to leave it and maybe try another day when she felt braver. Through tears, she just said "No.. I need it done today."
Ok, right yep. So a two hour tattoo turned into a 3 and a half hour showdown of blood, sweat and (many) tears.
She hasn't been back since.
Not me, but a friend of mine is a heavily tatted individual.
He was born and raised on Vancouver Island in BC, and as an homage he wanted to get an outline of the island tattooed across his entire back.
Went to the shop he had been going to for years but sat down with one of the new artists. She showed him the stencil of the tattoo on his back, with the help of a mirror. He ok'd the tattoo.
The artist was about 75% done the tattoo, she then lets out an audible 'oh sh*t'....
My buddy, thinking she maybe made a small error said 'no worries if one of the lines isn't perfect, I trust you'.
'No, *****, I think I drew the island backwards.'
What she had done was put the stencil on his back the wrong way, but upon showing him in the mirror it appeared that it was on correctly. He ok'd the tat and she went to town. At this point both of them start freaking out. He called me asking me to come to him immediately as he was losing his mind. The artist ran out of the shop crying and disappeared for the whole day.
The owner quickly came over and offered to fix the tattoo, which would now have to include a great deal of shading in order to cover up the previous mistake. In the end my buddy got free tats for life and now has a GIGANTIC tattoo of Vancouver Island on his back.
My brother in law got the oh so original 'death before dishonor' tattoo (ironically before he was dishonorably discharged from the army) and when it was finished we realized it said death before dishoron. The artist was able to fix it the best that he could but it still looks funny. It's fitting though. My brother in law is an idiot.
Not the artist, but the one getting the work done. I was getting a tattoo with a specific year on it, as well as a good amount of other detail around it. About halfway through I look down, and the year is completely wrong. Like, hundreds of years off. I was young and didn't like confrontation at the time so my heart just sank and I accepted my fate.
The artist seemed to become aware of what was happening, and said "Give me a minute." He left me sitting in the chair and went to the back of the shop. He came back a couple minutes later, proceeded to shade in the old year and put the correct year underneath the shading, and tied the entire tattoo together with that shading which ended up making it look even better than the original design. It worked out for the better in the end but for 10 minutes I was sure my tat was ruined.
An Intense Situation
Obligatory "not an artist", but my friends older brother used to tell us stories from his tattoo shop before class and a few stuck with me.
So, Jake was about 3 years into tattooing and he had seen some crazy sh*t. People screaming as though they had been shot, clients passing out, he had even been punched in the face because he was taking too long. But, hey, this is Vegas. Crazy sh*t happens. However one client sticks in his memory as his most frightening scare.
One day a client comes in with his friend and wanted something semi complex on his forearm. Jake freehands some nice sh*t (incredibly talented guy) and gets right to it. About fifteen minutes in, the guy starts bleeding a decent bit. That's clearly nothing shocking in a tattoo shop, but the amount is a little more than normal. After taking a minute to talk to the friend she tells him they'd been drinking. Most if not all artists will tell you not to drink before getting some work done due to the fact that booze tends to make you bleed more than normal. Jake adjusts his attitude and gets back to it.
About five minutes later the guy starts bleeding a lot more. Like, a LOT more. Jake stops and asks the guy what's going on. The dude confesses that he's got a medical issue with blood clotting. Jake is really bothered because no tattoo, even with cut skin, should be bleeding that much. He tells the guy that he can't finish and to see a doctor. While cleaning up he happens to catch a piece of the conversation they're having while they grab their bags.
"Shouldn't you tell him that you're poz?"
This client was HIV positive. And here Jake was wiping up a small pool of his blood. Needless to say, Jake was freaking out. Things escalate to shouting and the owner of the shop gets involved. Once the owner finds out he calmly ushers Jake out of the room and implores him to inspect himself for cuts. Jake gets obsessive and checks about a thousand times while the owner sternly informs the client that he should have informed them of his status. The client leaves and they clean obsessively for hours and don't let clients in that room for a couple days.
Guys, tell your artists about medical issues before hand, don't drink before getting a tattoo, and definitely tell them if you're HIV positive. Yes, good shops sterilize profusely but you should still let them know. It's for your safety as well as theirs and other clients.
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
WHERE TO BEGIN?!
The list is endless.
Half the time all it takes to be better is a little effort.
RedditorMidoriSpicewanted to hear about the lack of skills some people really need to acquire when it comes to sexy time. They asked:
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
I love sex. But it can be stressful. I've always found connection to be one of the best lessons.
CommunicationsGIF by HULUGiphy
"Assuming they already know what their partner wants/likes and doesn't communicate or take any instructions."
Take it Slow
"No foreplay and not caring if your partner is enjoying it."
"I had an ex who literally never wanted to do any kind of foreplay. He just wanted basically sex of any kind for him. He said oral on women was gross."
"Proposing mid intercourse."
"Honestly? With the partner I have, I'd think it was pretty hot and romantic lmao. I'd check in after the deed to make sure he was serious but our relationship is already very serious so it wouldn't be a big deal."
Talk to Me
"Not talking or making any noises. We don't have to dirty talk the whole time or even at all but you gotta let me know you're enjoying it at least."
"I think there's some balance between having some small talk, silence, and dirty talk while being in bed with someone. Or maybe that's just been my experience. I don't know--I think there's some fun in trying to carry a side conversation while having sex lol."
"Friction isn’t always a good thing."
YuckBored Larry Bird GIF by SB NationGiphy
"To this you can add unclipped fingernails."
"And dirty fingernails. Nah, ma'am. I’m betting this is not worth the infection. Thanks."
‘good at sex’
"I have a feeling most men will say 'lack of enthusiasm' and that most women will say 'being selfish about pleasure.'"
"I’m a woman and my first thought was lack of enthusiasm, but my own lack of enthusiasm. The only bad sex I’ve had is when I don’t genuinely want to be there. I’ve had sex with guys who weren’t ‘good at sex’ but still enjoyed it because I was really into them."
"They are convinced they know more about what works for you than you know yourself. Just cause your ex-lover Pat liked technique X doesn't mean everyone does."
"Have experienced this, it sucks. He wouldn’t listen to what I enjoyed, didn’t want me to say ANYTHING even if it hurt or wasn’t working, and would just say something along the lines of 'every other woman I’ve been with liked it.' I’m thinking, all you’ve had are one-night stands, really, so they probably didn’t say anything."
"I’ve had numerous partners and love sex. Crashed and burned with this one and he really crushed my self-esteem and sexual confidence."
"The biggest thing is always going to be selfishness and the inability/refusal to communicate and listen to your partner. I've seriously had a guy yell 'I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!' when I was trying to tell him how I liked whatever he was doing. He then got even more upset when I said 'did you just f**king yell at me? Alright, off, I'm done.'"
FlavorsAmanda Seales Wow GIF by truTVGiphy
"Lack of variety. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean crazy kinks or positions from the karma sutra, but more when it's really predicable. I has an ex that had this weird routine of positions, it was exactly the same every single f**king time in exactly the same order."
Sex. Let's be better at it.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Love is so elusive these days isn't it?
Who knows what anyone is looking for in the relationship department anymore.
It's all too exhausting.
But people we keep trying.
RedditorProblemNice5257wanted to hear why so many people are still on the hunt for that perfect one. They asked:
"Why are you single right now?"
I'm single because I've given up. And I'm good. For now.
PeaceSnoop Dogg Reaction GIFGiphy
"I put absolutely no effort into meeting someone."
"Same! Also it's extremely difficult when you feel so at peace being by yourself. The fact that I have to find someone whose presence outweighs my level of comfort being alone seems impossible."
"Hard to meet people when you are a hermit."
"Yeah, I describe myself as a shut-in, lol. I leave my apartment to work, I leave my apartment to buy food, and occasionally I’ll bring out the trash, otherwise I just watch Hulu, play online chess, surf Reddit."
"Same. I've spent months trying to find an apartment I can afford without a roommate and finally settled on a small studio apartment for $1100 a month because I'd rather living in a tiny space and be left the hell alone than share a much nicer place even with a good friend."
"I have too many unsolved issues, i can't in good conscience bring someone else into them."
"Idk your issues but everyone's got some crap. Not sure how unique yours are but everyone's got some crap. It's good to share some of your struggles with other people. Just don't open with it haha."
"Issues unresolved or not, (in my case) only makes it worse when you feel like you could open up to them, and they just take those to use it against yourself afterwards."
"I hardly go out and expose myself to people. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of myself being in a relationship at this point. Also, I'm very dry in terms of personality."
"I spent a year entirely isolated due to covid and now I can't handle physical contact. It makes me really uncomfortable and a hug is enough to make my body shut down. I'm hopeless."
truthCaptain America Lol GIF by mtvGiphy
"Supply chain issue."
"Best answer here."
That's funny. But it feels oddly true.
Ahhh...Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy
"I'm attracted to many, and unattractive to all."
"Last relationship was so toxic, I've sworn off dating, at least for awhile. I haven't had this much free time in ages. It's nice."
"Edit: Hey, it's really great hearing from so many people with similar experiences. Like many of you, I've been taking it in stride and focusing on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. It's done wonders for my health and I feel a whole lot better. I wish y'all the very best. Stay excellent, my friends."
"I'm 35yr old single father to a 5yr old and I work nights. It's hard to find free time to meet someone, especially in my area. If I do have free time to myself, I like staying home and ordering a pizza while drinking some beers and playing video games. I pretty much faced the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life."
"I was in an 8 year relationship (married for two) to my high school sweetheart. Exactly this same time last year, we got divorced because I found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. The best friend I had known LONGER than him and was friends with since fourth grade."
"She was living with us to try to get back on her feet. Yeah lol. So I lost my best friend and the man I had been with for 8 years within the same night. So I moved to another state, got an apartment by myself, and am now single and divorced all by 26. Not really looking unless the right person comes along."
"It’s pretty happy and peaceful now that they’re both out of my life though honestly. You realize people’s toxicity and flaws the most once you get space away from them."
Bad LoopSeth Meyers Whatever GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"Because my relationships end before they even begin."
"This is my story right here."
Alright. Now that we've laid out all the excuses, let's get to matching with some people.
There is no bigger mystery than what happens to us after we die.
But even those who don't practice an organized religion tend to believe that there is a Heaven, a happy joyful place where our souls will remain for eternity.
No two people share the same idea of what heaven would be like, but everyone who believes in it probably has an idea of the first thing they'd do after entering the pearly gates.
Redditor WeDidItGuyz was curious to hear what would be top on everyone's list upon entering the afterlife, leading them to ask:
"If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?"
Overcome with joy
"In all reality?"
"Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my humanity has now been lifted."
"If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists."heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
A re-match long in the making
"Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race."
"He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag."
"When I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again."
"We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago."
"I wanna race him both in our prime."- Abethegreat1
Reunite with loved ones
"Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again."
"Live our forever together."
"I f*cking love him and miss him so much."- jessdfrench
"Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids."- RifleShower
"Try to find my brother."
"Man, I miss him."
"He died in 2020 at age 34."- grummlinds1
"Give my mum and dad a big hug."- goonerjack007Miss U GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
Achieve the "firsts" we never got to do
"Find my son and have a beer with him."
"Something we never got to do in real life."- tanukis_parachute
Hone new skills
"Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp."- Ashtar-the-Squid
The joy of doing nothing
"Rest."- BanzaikoowaidCare Free Black Girls GIF by AuroraDrawsGiphy
Live on without pain
"Enjoy my healthy back without pain."- Knackbein_
Who knows what's in store for us after our lives come to an end.
But living with the idea that something wonderful awaits when our time has come is all people need to continue to live their lives to the fullest, and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve.
"Fun facts" generally refers to a tidbit of information about a specific topic which the general public might not have otherwise known about.
But the first word in that term can be misleading.
Indeed, some "fun facts" reveal information that isn't remotely "fun" in the slightes.
Redditor Alternative_kachocho was curious to hear some "fun facts" which were anything but fun, leading them to ask:
What's a 'fun fact' that isn’t fun at all?"
Ironically, something you likely don't think about...
"Your brain blocks you from feeling your organs moving around inside you."- Aydengeist06
Try watching Finding Nemonow...
"Only one in a thousand sea turtles born actually make it to adulthood."- Sebs_123
Shocking new light on an age old classic
"In the books, Stuart Little was never explicitly called a mouse."
"He's pretty much described as a deformed mouse-esque person born form human parents."- Red_Beard47stuart little mouse GIF by VIASAT3Giphy
Nature running it's course...
"There's a bird that feeds its younger offspring to the eldest."- Teacup_Cult
I have no allergies... yet
"Speaking from personal experience here, but your body can randomly decide to become allergic to damn near everything edible at any time."
"Not very fun."- smallemochick
Those poor, innocent creatures.
"In some regions of Australia, 90 percent of koalas have chlamydia, which poses a threat to the species' extinction unless a vaccine is created or widespread koala culling takes place."- tiffanyjcrusekoalas kiss GIFGiphy
They'd still be here if they weren't so delicious...
"The giant tortoise was so delicious, it caused not only itself to be hunted to extinction, but also the dodo."
"Giant tortoise meat was supposedly better tasting than chicken."
"It's fat tasted better spread on bread than butter."
"Also, it was the perfect food for sailors at the time, as their bladders stored 1 litre of purified water, and they could survive without food in hibernation for almost a whole year in the hull of a ship."
"Not to mention, because they evolved without humans, they were easy to hunt."
"You could tie one to your back, and roll another to the ship and they would just let you."
"It was so delicious, they went unrecorded for a long time because expeditions to bring living samples of wildlife to Europe kept eating them on the way."
"Conversely, the dodo, while as easily captured by sailors, tasted awful."
"It was completely unpalatable."
"HOWEVER, one day, someone discovered if you cooked dodo meat in the more delicious tortoise fat, it tasted just like chicken."
"So now, sailors were hunting a few tortoises at a time for their fat and water, storing them, and then hunting dodos on the daily."
"Overhunting, plus the introduction of rats to the environment (because sailors) which would eat eggs, led go the population to decline at a rate they could not breed to keep up, leading to both animals going extinct."- Kyhan
Don't forget the nose plugs
"Antarctica smells like penguin poop."
"Antarctica is a desert, it is too cold for bacteria to live."
"Nothing there to clean up penguin droppings."
"If you are close enough to see penguins, you will also smell them."- gummby8
Makes those long lines so worth it...
"The TSA missed 96% of contraband during an inspection in 2015."- omegasix321All Falls Down Tsa GIF by Kanye WestGiphy
"The person who had the first facial transplant had her face chewed up by her Labrador dog while asleep due to sleeping pill overdose." - User Deleted
It's hard not to read some of these "fun facts" and wonder if there should be an alternative term for the facts which aren't fun.
Oh yeah, probably not....