Tattoo Artists Describe The Worst Mistake They've Ever Made While Inking A Client
| Image by ilovetattoos from Pixabay |
Getting a tattoo can be a sensitive and delicate procedure. You have to do significant research to make sure the studio is legit and you have to vet the artist to see if they're producing the kind of work you'd like to display on your own body. And then there's the matter of hoping your artist doesn't mess up...
Okay, let's be fair: Most vetted artists are as professional as can be so the likelihood that you'll end up with a terrible mistake on your body isn't high. But what happens when it does? Tattoo artists are only human after all.
After Redditor Sorceress683 asked the online community, "Tattoo artists, what was your worst mistake and how did the client react?" tattoo artists shared their stories.
"I think I had a heart attack..."
So I didn't mess up but I had a client scare me, I was tattooing his sister's name on him (she passed away). "Gabriela" with 1 (L) in it. Past the point of no return he asks me "there's 2 L's, right?" I think I had a heart attack, and he started laughing. He thought it was hilarious, I died a little and pretended to laugh.
"Fortunately..."
I tattooed Philippines 4:13 instead of Philippians 4:13 on a girl one time. Fortunately I was able fix it though.
"The lesson here..."
A few years ago I was tattooing a client who had apparently lost a bet, his buddies were allowed to tattoo something behind his shoulder as long as it wasn't racist or offensive.
Turns out the guy drew up a design of "A Leprechaun throwing up on a book"... Sure, why not, everyone was sober and they were paying pounds upfront.
Easy work- the drawing was really simple and the shading was easier than I thought it'd be.
Turns out everyone liked it... Except the guy with the tattoo of a Leprechaun throwing up on a book. He picked at the scab, trying to get rid of it, completely took it from bad to worse.
Comes in about ten days later, demanding a refund of money HE didn't pay or the studio, not me, cover it up. Nope, management said you signed for it in your right mind and then damaged it yourself, personally I was yelled at and told NEVER tattoo anyone like that, it only works in television series or film.
Did I make a mistake? Yes and no.
The lesson here is don't get involved in other's drama when permanent body marking is involved.
"He owns a small construction/restoration company..."
I had a client who decided he wanted lettering on his forearms, sayings in Greek and Hebrew. He doesn't speak either language, but he had one of his friends double-check the spelling before he sent the references to me. Came in, we did the tattoos, pretty simple appointment.
Fast forward to a couple weeks later. I get a message from my client about the tattoo that was done in Hebrew. He owns a small construction/restoration company, and has a few Israeli guys who work for him.
Apparently, they were giving him A LOT of s*** for his Hebrew tattoo (he originally thought they were just messing with him), because it was spelled wrong. The font he had chosen off a quick google search essentially changed a couple of the letters (kinda like the difference between an "f" and a "t"), making it a completely different word. We ended up being able to fix it pretty easily and had a good laugh about it, but definitely beware when you're getting tattoos in a language you and your artist don't speak!
"I tell her to make sure..."
My ONLY spelling mistake ever was in Italian. Girl wants a phrase in Italian. She writes it down no less than 5x on a paper. I tell her to make sure it is correct, I don't speak Italian. She insists it is correct. I draw up some nice script, tattoo it with no issues, bandage, pay and she leaves. She comes back in hysterical and tells me I spelled it wrong. I hadn't thrown out the paper. I spelled it exactly how she spelled it. I asked what she wanted to do, and she decided "eh no one I know speaks Italian." That was about 15 years ago, I often wonder if she ended up getting it covered up.
"A guy came in..."
Worked as a piercer in a shop a decade ago. A guy came in and wanted "Murphy's law"...the artist freehanded a design on him, he green lit it after watching in the mirror and they did a beautiful piece with a banner saying "Murphy's law". Seemed fitting. The guy loved the fact that his one messed up tattoo was the Murphy's law one.
"On the last visit..."
I was working at a place when a guy came in for a full back piece of 3 different cars. It took like 4 visits to finish and each visit he'd look at it and say it looks awesome and then he would take off. On the last visit, they call me in to look at it to show me how awesome it turned out. Well, all the steering wheels were on the wrong side and the reason no one caught it was because the dude was looking in a mirror to check his progress so they looked correct. I'm pretty sure the guy was super chill about it when they offered a bunch of free work and they fixed it in another session.
"He picked the one he liked best..."
I had a client email me asking for a four-letter acronym. I don't do freehand script so I put the letters into a font generator and sent him back some options. He picked the one he liked best and we set an appointment date. On the day of his session, I showed him the acronym again and we chose a size. I placed the stencil and he approved it and I got started. Midway through the tattoo, I asked him what the letters stood for and he told me. My heart stopped. The letters were in the wrong order. The middle two were swapped.
I ran to the shop computer to check my email and sure enough, in his original email he'd sent me, they'd been correct. I had typed them into the font generator wrong. But to be fair, he had seen them several times since then and didn't notice my mistake. I spent the rest of the session covering them up with another design he'd had as a backup tattoo idea and I didn't charge him. But it was a good learning experience for me to always ask what initials/acronyms stand for ahead of time to make sure I get them in the right order.
"The guy was surprisingly..."
I was a receptionist at a tattoo shop. One of the artists misspelled "neighborhood" on this guy's neck. He spelled it "neigborhood," leaving out the first "H". Neighborhood was the guy's nickname. It was a pretty large, elaborate tattoo so there was no fixing it. I don't think I have ever cringed so hard in my life. The guy was surprisingly really cool about it. He did see the drawing and approved it before it was tattooed on. He ended up making the artist tattoo a "H" on his palm so if anyone gave him s*** about the misspelling he could smack that person with the missing "H."
"When we got out of segregation..."
I gave a guy a tattoo in prison of his girlfriend's name on his arm. I knew him and his girl on the street and knew it was going nowhere and insisted he change his mind. He didn't, so I made a bet with him that s*** was gonna go belly up within 6 months. When we got out of segregation and back onto the yard a few weeks passed at most and I can see him having a bad conversation on the phone. He called me over to his cell and offered me up a huge sack of commissary without a word. I didn't take it, figured he needed it more than me. Still feel like s*** to this day.
"Spelling lesson"
My ex did a large scarification on the client's abdomen. The client had brought in a piece of paper with the stylized word " preserverence".
I was invited in mid-way to see the progress and had to tap my ex on the shoulder for a spelling lesson.
Have perseverance tattooed on my side...was my first tattoo at 18 and I was almost this person. Artist caught it while we were looking at the stencil.
The release form for my tattoo artist had a giant section for anyone getting a tattoo with words or letters. The whole section stated that any misspellings were not their fault and to put the letters in order EXACTLY how you wanted them tattooed.
Not good
I was working at a shop in NYC, this very heavy set gentlemen came in and wanted a full back piece. No other tattoos. The design was very elaborate and quite good. Once it was all approved the tattoo stencil was applied, and again approved by the client. I wasn't doing the tattoo, but I was occasionally checking in on the process. Once the line work was done as shading had begun... I noticed something horrible... the stencil was applied over his rolls of skin on his lower back. I made a comment to the artist privately. He went back to tattooing, moved the skin apart at one point... and without a doubt several inches of untattooed skin.
The client never noticed. I stopped working there not too long after that, not for this reason.
Logic
Once had a client call the shop who was crying hysterically because, according to her, I had done her tattoo backwards. It took a few minutes to get her to calm down to the point where we realized she was looking at it in the mirror. She apologized and hung up.
Cover up
Tattoo artist here. Best case I ever saw, a guy came into our shop asking about a cover up. The tattoo wasn't done at our place. He had what we call a "belly rocker". One of those lettering tattoos that arcs over the belly. Think Tommy Lee's "mayhem" tattoo. Usually gothic font, gangsta type piece.
He had beautifully executed, bold, black, old English letters across his belly that were supposed to read, "scarred for life". Whoever did the tattoo (as well as the tattooed guy) had forgotten one of the letters. An "r".
This guy came in with "scared for life" on his belly.
We showed him some cover up options, including full torso, Japanese style bodysuit stuff. Someone may have joked about doing the old proofreading trick of just putting a little red arrow and adding the missing letter.
I don't know who did the thing but never saw him again after giving cost estimates for the giant cover up.
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Men Who've Gotten A Vasectomy Explain Whether They Regret It And How The Procedure Changed Their Life
With more people exercising their right to live a childfree life, or to at least start their families later than people used to, it's important for people to have access to forms of birth control that work for them.
For some, that means getting a vasectomy, but there are aspects to the procedure that most wish they had known before making the appointment.
Redditor jaqeacc asked:
"To men who have gotten a vasectomy, do you regret it, and how has it changed your life?"
Avoiding the Risk
"I’m 30 with three kids and got a vasectomy earlier this year. My wife almost died in childbirth for the last one. Can’t risk that again. No regrets."
- DesertDelirium
Enough Kids
"No regrets. Had it done after our third child was born. We definitely couldn't cope with a 4th child, and my wife was told sternly that she should not have another."
"It hasn't changed my life. It has helped my wife in that she no longer takes birth control."
"Interesting that some other commenters in this thread have had life-changing situations where they went for reversal. The health worker tried to talk me out of the vasectomy, saying I was very young (I was 35). She kept coming up with these scenarios in which I might want to have more children. I would reply, 'I still have three children.'"
- WitShortage
Pain Management
"I had one at 43 years old and didn’t have any pain at all after the procedure. It was fully covered by insurance as well. I recommend making sure they give you the Xanax 30 minutes prior."
- Specific_Albatross63
Respect the Recovery Time
"You need five to seven days to recover. I just did it. The last thing you want to do is pop the internal sutures and bleed into your sack. Then you have to walk around with grapefruit or cantaloupe-sized balls."
"Don’t rush it. After seven days, you’re good to go. Hit it sooner (especially lifting) at your own risk."
- jbrad194
Preventative Care
"I got mine, no regrets, and my sex life vastly improved. Just make sure you get a sperm count post-OP."
- Cebonite
Prepare the PlayStation
"I just want to add a warning from a friend of mine who had it done."
"He had the operation and went home to recover for a few days, unfortunately, he had not foreseen that he wouldn't be able to set up the new PlayStation he'd bought himself as a 'reward.' He didn't feel up to all the awkward bending and f**king around behind the TV. Instead, he had to sit there on the couch for days wishing he was playing it!"
"So a careful warning to anyone else reading this: plug your self-reward PlayStation in before you have the operation and not after. Learn from his mistake!"
- not_right
Rare Issues
"I had one back in 2014 and have been part of the one percent of people who experience pain every day after. Last year, I got it reversed because I didn’t want to be in pain anymore but that did nothing but cause me more issues."
- Slugs86
Stress Free
"My partner got his vasectomy in January. Neither of us have kids, and both of us turn 30 this year. Of course, no OBGYN would entertain sterilization for me (a female), but he was able to set up the appointment with no problem. I’m just now getting the birth control out of my system and it’s life-changing. We’re ecstatic to be able to enjoy each other and not worry about pregnancy."
- PayMeToRedditMmkay
Moving On
"I've had one some nine years ago when my then-girlfriend and I broke up and I decided that I'm too old now to find somebody to have kids with (which was/is totally okay)."
"My urologist really took the time to explain to me how it all works and to make sure that that's what I want. The procedure only hurt a little bit, even though some dude sticking a long hypodermic needle in your sack is probably a rather acquired taste. The greatest inconvenience was the ban on bathing."
"As for the effect, I would definitely do it again. My long-term (=long enough to get tested and do it without a rubber) partners all appreciated it a lot, and even in connection with other forms of contraception, it gives a certain peace of mind. Besides that, the sex itself hasn't changed at all."
"If you're sure you don't want any more kids, I can totally recommend it."
- Radiant_sir_radiant
Potential Complications
"It has changed my sex life significantly. Posts like these are disheartening, because I remembered scrolling through similar posts and disregarding those who were not so lucky and ended up with PVPS (Post-Vasectomy Pain Syndrome) or other changes in their sex life. So many men say it's the best thing they did and never regretted it: no change in orgasms whatsoever."
"The intensity of my orgasms has changed a lot. It isn't as good as it used to be. It's like stepping on a garden hose where water wants to escape but it can't. I never feel relaxed after an orgasm anymore or fulfilled. There's a feeling of congestion after."
"I am not experiencing any pain, luckily. I do feel my testicles are more sensitive. I already feel the tenderness when I go to the bathroom just to pee. I loved it when my partner held them, but I don't anymore."
"Everyone will say it's psychological; your urologist and the people around you. I have posted a couple of times on Reddit about it, but most people thought I was trolling."
"Maybe it is only psychological, but that doesn't change how I perceive my orgasms."
- ThrowRabedeezled
Motivations for the Procedure
"One of my mates got married at around 20 and had two kids by the time he was 23. Got the snip when the second kid was born. Turns 30, and found out his wife had been sleeping with every guy at the gym, divorced, remarried, but the new wife is only 25 and wants kids of her own. He went in for the reversal, but I haven't heard if it was successful yet."
"Another mate was single, got the snip around 35 to make casual sex less stressful. Got married at 40, decided they wanted kids, got a reversal, but it was unsuccessful (that was about 10 years ago though)."
- Michael_Scott247365
Electrifying Experience
"I guess I'm one of the unlucky few..."
"Had mine done, went in, just like most: Small opening, went in, numbed... This is supposed to be the only part that's uncomfortable... I'm pretty sure he hit the wrong spot somewhere."
"Everything was fine for the one side, and then I felt stuff on the other... Not unbearable, but I will never NOT remember feeling whatever he was doing."
"My doc, however, didn't ground the tool that's supposed to cauterize the area. I got shocked to f**king kingdom come. It was the single most painful experience of my life. I put it above almost dying in a car accident or the time I got shot in the eye with an airsoft rifle."
"Recovery: Over a month."
"Walking made me scream. Sleeping was pretty much impossible and it was absolutely miserable. The doc didn't believe me and finally gave me pain medication on my 3rd+ visit. Which was a constant need so that I didn't get fired."
"Ended up behind on every bill I had."
"I'm fine now."
- D3Dragoon
Childfree Choice
"No regrets. Done it this year with 31 without having children."
"The chance of regretting having a child is too high and I do not want it to feel or even suffer from it. I can live with the regret of not having one."
"As for the question, 'And what if your girlfriend wants children?,' I only date women that do not want one. And even then, when all the planets align and h**l is frozen, there are too many children in children’s homes growing up without parents. Adopt them and give them a home and more importantly a loving family."
- Cruso91
Open Communication
"Got the snip around age 36 after my then wife and I were done having kids. My health insurance covered it 100%, not even a deductible. The pain wasn’t too bad. Felt very much like when you’ve been kicked in the nuts."
"We later divorced. It made post-divorce sex life great. Women were really into the security of not getting pregnant. Let me tell you, life was pretty sweet."
"My girlfriend now has no kids. I was very upfront with her very early on in the relationship about the fact I didn’t want more kids, and didn’t want to hinder her from pursuing having children if it was a desire of hers."
"I basically told her if we needed to end the relationship so that she could find someone else to have kids with, I’d understand. She said she was ok not having kids and we’ve been together ever since."
- wizkee
Dad Jokes
"I was told that after a vasectomy I wouldn't have kids anymore, but when I got home, they were still there..."
- CommentToBeDeleted
While there are certainly risks, and even regrets, involved, most Redditors argued that the ends justified the means when it came to getting a vasectomy.
For most, it removed the stress and pressure of possibilities of pregnancy that some people are not interested in, and it's difficult to put a price on something like that.
There are things that we all wish we had known from an earlier age to avoid mistakes, mishaps, and general embarrassment.
Not only is there advice that older people wish they could give the younger generation, but there are things the younger generation is doing now that older people simply do not get.
Redditor IslamicAnime asked:
"Older women of Reddit, what is something young women are doing that puzzles you?"
Buccal Fat Removal
"Buccal Fat Removal surgery."
- walkingoffthebuz
"They're gonna regret that s**t, lol (laughing out loud)."
- beepbooponyournose
"It's permanent, and your body will never make more of it. Buccal fat removal ages the face immediately, which isn't a problem for most women in their 20s, but as they actually do age, there is a high likelihood that they will need to constantly get fillers for the rest of their life to combat the side effects of significant premature aging."
- NinaNeptune13
Lip Fillers
"The overdone lip injections. I can’t wait for this trend to die."
- chubbybarbie81
"I'm 26. I went to high school with a girl who has lip fillers, and every time I see a picture of her, those d**n lips are all I can look at. They look so goofy."
- mrsbebe
Surgical Butt Lifts
"Brazilian Butt Lifts. The weird disproportionate diaper booty look is... interesting."
- Shapoopadoopie
"I have not seen a single one that looked good. The proportions are so unnatural between the butt and legs."
- Hexenhut
Social Media Babies
"Blasting pictures of their young children all over social media with 1000 followers."
- assylemdivas
"Before my son was born, I asked everyone to keep my kid off their social media. Mine is restricted to friends and family only, locked down pretty well, and difficult to find because I don’t use my first name on there. I don’t know who other people have on their pages but my kid didn’t need to be blasted all over their pages to see."
"My son was born via C-section around 5:00 PM. The nurse asked if I wanted a picture taken on my phone to show my mom and niece (who were in the waiting room). I said yes, she went and got my phone from my mom, took a couple of photos, and gave it back to my mom."
"She sent it to herself, then to close family members. Within 10 minutes, my sister had it posted on all of her social media pages and was acting as though she had been at the hospital with me all day."
"My 16-year-old niece (her daughter) called her and told her to stop, to take it all down, and do as I’d asked. My sister apparently got mad but finally did it. I found out about it the next day and thanked my niece, but it started a whole thing that ended with me finally just blocking her (my sister) on social media because she wouldn’t do one simple thing."
- quincyd
Falsies of All Sizes
"Big, fluffy false eyelashes. I tried it once and it felt like caterpillars on my eyelids, they had to come off right away. I don't know how they stand it, but I admire their skill."
"(Just wanna make it clear here, I'm not about sh*tting on the aesthetics of young people. You do you, my sweet children! It's just not for me.)"
- katie-kaboom
A Little Privacy
"Letting everyone on the internet know exactly where you are at all times and what your schedule is seems a bit nuts."
- Konebred
"I teach high school math..."
"My students have tracking apps so they can see exactly where their friends are at all times, and I think it's weird as h**l."
"Someone was absent, so I asked, 'Where is Martha?' to nobody in particular. Well, her friend in class pulls out her phone and replies, 'Oh! She should be here soon. She's in the 300 building bathroom.' I find it incredibly creepy, but they have no issue with it."
- Philyphreak3
Influencer Concerns
"Posting non-stop content and then caring so much about what strangers say about them online. As if life isn't difficult enough for women without finding new and unnecessary standards to hold themselves up to. It all seems like an exhausting, pointless, and mentally draining exercise."
- MuddaFrmAnnudaBrudda
"Focusing on their social media appearance. The lighting, the posing… it’s all for likes."
"Posting where they are. Where they go."
"The complete transparency over their location floors me after being told not to tell people that stuff online."
"I worry that a lot of young people are too aware of their social media standing and appearance and aesthetic and are forgetting to find and love themselves for who they are."
- punnymama
Lack of Communication
"Passive-aggressive roommate fights."
"The layers can get really impressive, but in a terrible way. 'A wrote B a note about dishes, but C thought it was about them, so C wrote A a note, and then B came home and thought it was for her so she texted the group chat and...'"
"DUDE. TALK TO PEOPLE. TALK. TO. PEOPLE. This is the perfect time in your life to be practicing assertiveness and healthy conflict resolution. All this s**tty note-writing and vague group text chatting and bulls**t is making whatever the problem is a thousand times worse."
- Much_Difference
Self-Sufficiency
"I am bewildered by women who do not prioritize the ability to support themselves."
- Joey690
"I have so many friends that can't do stuff my dad taught me was basic. Like following instructions for general house maintenance stuff. No reason to pay someone $400 and wait two weeks for them to come when you can do it yourself in 15 minutes with an online tutorial."
"Like swapping the lock assembly on a washing machine. Sounds difficult if you don't know what you're doing, but on many washing machines it's one screw and it's plug and play. There are a ton of videos on YouTube for it, so you don't even need to know how to start."
"I guess what I really got from my dad was the confidence to try. So many people I run into just don't even think they can, so they don't try."
- caboosetp
#VanLife
"Van life."
"The whole 'Van life is so glamorous, look at me sipping my coffee sitting in the back of my van in front of the sunrise' thing is WAY overrated and very, very fake."
"Van life or camper life can be fun and an adventure at times, yes, but it comes with a LOT of work, expenses, and risks that people don't tell you about."
- Just_another_Sue
Makeup Enthusiasts
"They are SO good at makeup. I don’t know if it’s because they have better products, the availability of tutorial videos, or both but they all look amazing and we were walking around with orange faces and smudged eyeliner. Not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous."
"EDITED TO ADD: so many bitter people in these replies! Makeup is a hobby. It might not be one that you enjoy but that doesn’t invalidate it."
"We should respect and uplift all women and however they choose to express themselves, whether it’s by wearing makeup and miniskirts or Carhartt and axel grease."
- SnooPeripherals5969
Relationship Red Flags
"I'm definitely not considered an older woman yet, so I apologize as my view may not count, but one thing I've noticed since starting a new job and working with some 17-20-year-olds has given me a few yikes."
"One is the weird obsession with knowing where their partner is at all times, one girl threw a mini fit because her partner's Snapchat location wasn't on and she was scarily angry about it."
"And the weird glorification I've seen about being 'psycho' is such a weird red flag. Amount of them boasting about borderline mentally abusive things or acts they do to their partners is f**king WILD and frankly scares me a little."
- bamyris
Real-Life Experiences
"I'm 33 so I don't consider myself old yet, but I've seen young girls living through Snapchat and other apps, vehemently photographing themselves and everything around them."
"To me, it seems as if they care more about how they portray themselves online towards others (they don't even know), instead of enjoying the actual experiences."
- Flikketeer
Miss Dependent
"I know a few 17 or 18-year-old girls who have decided not to learn to drive or get licensed because their boyfriends always have cars; not to finish school because they don't enjoy it; and don't ever want to vote because that stuff's boring."
"They have these precious rights to be free, to be educated, to be heard, and they don't care!"
"(Regarding the car thing, we're in a semi-rural area with limited transport options.)"
- RooBeeDooBeeDoo
Lack of Skin Protection
"Not wearing sunscreen and still going tanning."
"My sister died at age 36 from skin cancer and it is still a struggle to convince younger girls of all ethnicities to wear sunscreen and stop tanning. Use a fake tanner or/and love the skin you're in."
- Sure_Temperature_349
From generation to generation, priorities and practices have a way of changing. Some practices are wildly confusing for older generations, leaving the older people to wish that they could give younger people advice they wish they'd had themselves.
The mundane activities we do on a daily basis put us into auto-pilot, where we don't have to think about what we're doing.
This occurs every day. But maybe we shouldn't assume things will always go well.
Think about it. Drivers who commute don't have to concern themselves with how to get to work or school. But can you assume the drivers with whom you share the road are safe drivers?
Diners at restaurants don't have to worry about eating the foods prepared for them. Are you sure there aren't any foreign–possibly sharp–objects in your entree?
Even acts that are simple as stepping into the shower early in the morning don't have to worry about a single thing.
Did you watch Final Destination?
Curious to hear about normal activities that can unexpectedly turn deadly, Redditor Godzilla_Cheese asked:
"What is something everyone does daily that if done wrong, can kill you?"
These are reminders for people not to check out on the most basic activities.
Showers Can Be Fatal
"take a shower or bath."
"one slip and you could die."
– TrailerParkPrepper
"This happened to a kid at my highschool. Was showering, slipped hit his head and died. Was only like 16. Nice guy."
– TheWillsofSilence
Amateur Cooks Beware
"I’m a firefighter and my only answer is: cooking"
"You f'kers set your stoves on fire entirely too often."
– alstottno1
"First thing in every sims game I've played: buy a fire alarm and install it right above the oven and grind out a point in cooking."
"Far too many ghosts in my town due to grilled cheese."
– Torringtonn
Drivers should be focused on one thing: driving.
Eyes On The Road Please
"How many people answered this while driving?"
– hamstrung_hero
"So, I only know exactly one person, personally, that has died while driving. Yet, it happens all the time. So, I often think at work (I work at a bar): 'how many people here aren’t gonna make it home tonight?' Just, statistically, working in bars for 15 years; I know there has to be some number of people who came to my bar and that was the last day of their life."
– NerdModeActivated
Driving Defensively
"The scariest part is you can do everything right and still die because someone else did it wrong."
– Vegan-Fury
"Always assume everyone else is on the road is a complete imbecile. Don’t just be aware of what’s in front of you (and in front of them), be aware of what’s on all sides of you. Know which way you can swerve if needed, etc…"
– NBA_Fan_76
Be Aware Of Last-Minute Maneuvers
"Almost happened to me this morning. People seem to think it's okay to pick the last possible second to exit or merge. You had an entire mile to prepare for this and you chose to try and kill me instead."
– Silent-G
Lingering Trauma
"Yup, a friend of mines was recently involved in a fatal traffic accident. Thanks to CCTV on the vehicle he was deemed not at fault by police. I can't begin to imagine what's going through his head, he's still off work for health reasons."
– STRICKIBHOY
"The only thing keeping us from smashing into oncoming traffic is an agreement to not cross a thin painted line on the road."
– gREGER2K
Wrong Time, Wrong Place
"Literally just walking."
"Walk in the wrong spot at the wrong time and wham hit by a semi truck."
"People literally die from random shi*t like tripping and hitting their head on the edge of a curb, doesn’t even need to be a car!"
– Swift_F0x
Don't assume everything goes down smoothly.
Dining On-The-Go
"Drink or eat."
– oneofyrfencegrls
"I just saw my 88 year old aunt for maybe the last time. (She lives halfway around the world and was clear that this is her last trip to the US) she started choking on a piece of sushi, we asked if she was okay, she shook her head 'no' and pointed to her back."
"My dad starts patting her back not nearly hard enough and I realize that if I did the Heimlich on her, I could break a rib. She’s tiny and frail. Luckily, she coughs it up and her British a** says, 'So sorry to be a bother. I’m quite embarrassed by that.' I blurted out, 'Sorry!? I thought you were going to die! We’re good.'”
– phlavor
The Peanut
"Peanuts. My dad's Shaolin Kempo teacher died this way. Big burly guy. Black belt fighter. Choked on a peanut with no one around to do a Heimlich. Like this guy got hit in the head multiple times during tournaments, but a peanut is what did him in. Bizarre to think about."
– Melvarkie
Killer Tomatoes
"I used to have a teacher in high school who worked in tomato fields earlier in life, which anyone who's ever worked in a picking field knows that it can easily f'k you up good. He eventually made his way out of the fields and into a teaching career, and one day years later he was eating a salad and started choking on a piece of tomato. Luckily one of the students was able to pat him on the back hard enough to force it out, but once everyone's nerves weren't on edge he was just like, 'Man I made it out of those fields just for the tomatoes to try and kill me now.'"
– AcousticAaron
Wrong Pipe
"I hate when you drink water wrong."
– Good-Management-4241
"Dihydrogen monoxide strikes again."
– notthephonz
"Aspiration kills 168,000 humans yearly (approximately)"
– Puresparx420
Take from this list what you will.
Many Redditors learned some new things in the thread but also expressed regret.
Redditor pandaram02, for instance, wrote:
"Idk why I’m opening the comment section just unlocking new fears."
Seconded.
Who knew that cleaning can kill you?
Note: never mix bleach with ammonia. Inhaling the noxious fumes from the chemical reaction can have near-fatal consequences.
Everyone has a different relationship with hygiene.
While some people wash their hands every time they enter a new room, and never leave home without a bottle of hand sanitizer, others might not care where their hands have been as they bust open a bag of chips.
However, one thing that both parties have in common is that over time, they might have developed certain practices related to their own personal hygiene that are unique to them.
Helping them either make sure their hands, teeth, and body are as clean as can possibly be or help them get things done as speedily, if not as effectively, as possible.
"What is the peculiar hygiene habit that you've developed?"
So Nothing Gets Overlooked
"When I shower I slowly rotate in a circle like some type of vertical rotisserie chicken."- RootsRoots55
To Help It Come Out... Maybe?...
"When I sit down to poo, I sort of sit in a way that spreads my cheeks as much as possible."- Myzx
Clean Before You Clean
"I wash my hands in the shower before I touch my face."- plasticIove
Happy Wash Hands GIF by Mecklenburg CountyGiphySurprisingly Overlooked
"I spend an extra minute in every shower making sure I thoroughly clean my feet."
"Not weird to clean feet."
"But definitely weird to remind myself every day 'gotta wash them trotters'."- ingoodtime23
Don't Overlook The Hard To Reach Places
"I see a lot of elderly people in the hospital.'
"99% have toenail fungus."
"I keep anti-fungal shampoo in the shower next to a toothbrush and scrub my nails and in-between my toes every morning."- Resilient_bookworm
Nothing Says You Can't Have Fun In The Shower...
"More of a fun one, but related to hygiene."
"When in the shower, and I'm lathering up my body with my soap/shower gel, I ensure a nice seal between my arm and body."
"Then I keep my fingertips against my hip and extend my elbow, creating a huge bubble in the gap between my arm and body."
"Then I blow it to see how big a bubble I can blow before it pops."
"Yes I'm a 35 year old man."- Angry_Cornflake
Extra, Extra Dry
"Squeegee myself with my hands in the shower to get most of the water off before I towel dry."- clydeswitch
Wash Up After Cleaning
"After using a sponge or cloth from the kitchen sink, I wash my hands with soap."
"These things are just nasty, imo."- knuckleduster12
A Few Steps Ahead
"Taking showers in the middle of the night."
"I have insomnia and one night I decided, what the hell, I need to shower when I get up anyways, so I'll get it out of the way now."
"Maybe it's placebo, but as soon as I got out of the shower and got into bed I slept like a baby."
"Now if I can't fall asleep or wake up in the middle of the night I'll go take a shower instead of laying in bed trying to force myself to fall asleep."- SunnySilver8
Relaxing Homer Simpson GIFGiphyBeware The Excess Spray
"I try to close the toilet seat lid before flushing because I saw a video once where green 'bacteria' gets shot out of the toilet."- LrckLacroix
Their Expert Hiders
"Full body tick check before bed every night."
"I spend a lot of time in the bush and lyme sucks."- cat_named_virtue
The Proof Is In The Pudding... Flavored Toothpaste
"My friends think it's weird that I time myself brushing my teeth so that I brush for the full 2 minutes."
"Joke's on them though, I have the nicest teeth in the friend group."- selloboy
Brush Colgate GIFGiphy...Seems Kind Of Dangerous...
"I like to shower in complete darkness."
"Turn off the lights, block the bottom of the bathroom door with a towel or my clothes if I have to, maybe put some music on if I'm in the mood, and just have a nice, long, hot shower."
"It's incredibly relaxing, almost like a little nap with how warm it is and all the darkness."- Adventurous-Till2924
Should That Even Matter?
"As a straight guy, washing my a**, apparently."- fromkentucky
It Can Get Out Of Control
"I trim my armpit hair every time I trim my beard."
"It’s like a buzz-cut under there."
"Deodorant is more effective that way."-
One would like to think that everyone follows the most basic rules of personal hygiene without needing to be reminded.
At the end of the day though, what's important is doing whatever puts your mind at rest that you are as clean as it possibly can be.
Still... How can you really tell how clean you are if you shower in the dark?