Baristas have an interesting job of having to create very intricate and delicate caffeinated drinks for the masses as they commute to and from work.
Unfortunately, that job comes with some really gross after-effects. People are weird. They have very specific and somewhat repulsive requests.
And then you have to make those things. You have to stomach it all.
Here were some of those answers.
I once had a customer ask for a extra caramel Frappuccino and to make him "regret asking for so much caramel"
I put in 15 pumps each of the regular caramel sauce and dark caramel sauce as well as covering the entire inside of the cup in drizzle
He left the store and then came back in a few minutes later to tell me that was the best drink he's ever had
Pure Unadulterated Chocolate
I don't know if anyone remembers, but for a hot minute Starbucks had a thing called Chantico, which was marketed as a "drinking chocolate". It was basically a cup of melted chocolate, the consistency of thinned brownie batter, meant to be drunk in 4 oz cups exclusively.
A woman came in and ordered a Grande.
She miraculously survived and came back the next day and ordered a Venti.
I still don't know how she choked it down.
Expensive AND Gross
I had a guy hand me his own mug and I kid you not - ordered a vanilla late with 12 shots of espresso.
Actually I clearly remember him saying 17 shots but everyone else was like "oh he usually just gets 10!" So I say 12 now to be on the safe side,
His drink was like $21 and mostly just espresso with a little milk and syrup. He also told me he'd been trying to cut down on caffeine lately
Not a barista but was a regular at a coffee shop near a halfway house. A guy would frequently come in and order a red eye with 10 shots of espresso. He claimed it helped keep him off the harder drugs.
Not What I Ordered, But Cool
Not gross but just funny that always makes me laugh. One time someone ordered a cold hot chocolate. Halfway through me making it i realized i was just making chocolate milk. So i added some vanilla syrup and whip cream and he was very happy with it lol.
Hint Of A Hint
Former barista here- I remember clearly 2 years ago a lady wanted a latte with Splenda. However, she didn't actually want Splenda in the latte. She wanted me to open the packet near her latte so that she could get only a "hint" of Splenda.
Weird Flex But Ok
When I was a barista, several middle aged men who were regulars would insist on hot coffee. They would loudly and frequently proclaim the coffee they order, in general, is never hot enough. I guess they wanted to emphasize their pain threshold to me, an 18 year old girl who just wanted to go home and watch tv.
It's difficult to make very hot coffee without burning the milk. But often they'd order black coffee and I'd literally give them boiling water and they'd say it wasn't hot enough. If I made it hotter, it would convert the liquid state to a gaseous form and evaporate. Then they'd talk about their Lexus or something for awhile. I never saw them drink it, so I guess they'd leave, wait for it to cool down, and then drink it. Weirdest courting ritual I've ever experienced.
Large And In Charge
In the 7 years I've been in the fast coffee industry, I'll always come back to one drink.
A nonfat (lol) caramel Frappuccino with an entire 16oz bottle of caramel drizzle in it, plus 10 pumps of peppermint syrup. Topped with whip and...you guessed it; more caramel.
Oh, and she wanted two large sized ones. Every day. 6am sharp.
Two Completely Different Tastes
A mocha frappuccino with coke, sprite, and strawberry syrup added. When informed we were out of strawberry, they settled for grape as a substitute.
Former Dunkin barista. I had a few people order iced coffees with so much liquid sugar that the cup was 3/4 full before adding the coffee.
I'm not sure if this qualifies as "weird" rather than just pants on head stupid- but I once had a vapid college girl order an iced latte "but like, with no coffee". I explained what that would be, and she said that was okay.
We had no way to charge for that other than just charging her for the full latte, so the girl happily paid $4 for a 16oz cup of milk and ice.