C'mon, we've all done it.
1. Looked at someone and fantasized about them.
Fantasized about the life that you'd have together. Cooking dinner together. Going shopping for clothes together. Waking up before them and what you'd have to do to be quiet so you don't wake them. Sitting on the couch both reading and being ok with the silent company.
Or maybe that's just a lonely person thing, I don't know.
2. Waited in the bathroom stall for whoever else was in there to leave first before coming out because they heard you destroy it. Hoping they didn't recognize your shoes.
3. Think that someone's baby looks ugly.
4. Looking at their own poop
I had a guy in high school ask us if we ever looked at the toilet paper after we wiped and of course everyone kind of panicked and was like "ew, no who would do that" and he yelled "y'all are a bunch of dirty liars! If you didn't look you'd have no idea you were done wiping" he wasn't wrong.
5. There are millions of sweet little old men and women in their 60's and 70's who did a lot of cocaine back in the day.
6. Had long imaginary conversations with someone in their head.
Sometimes mine involve ... (Continued)
facial expressions and hand gestures, which gets awkward when I don't realize someone is watching me.
7. During maths exams in the past I've used my calculator for even the simplest sums...just to make sure. 9x10 is 90 right? Yep. Just making sure.
8. Thought about just jerking the steering wheel into oncoming traffic.
And then worried about what if your body did it all by itself, against your conscious will.
9. Get incredibly defensive for no reason when someone asks you if you were sleeping and you were woken up.
10. Put your hand down your pants while you watch TV not to play with your junk, just to have it there. Or sometimes just holding your boobs, same reason.
Anonymous
12. Picking your nose. Especially in (Continued)
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the car.
13. Counted down to a trafic light changing and gotten disappointed when you weren't psychic.
"3... 2... 1... Now. Dammit. 3...2...1...NOW! Dammit."
14. Stalk your crush's/ex's social media accounts. Yes, people acknowledge that this is a thing. But nobody actually admits that they themselves do it.
15. Scratch their private areas then smell their fingers.
16. Thought seriously about about leaving everyone and everything behind to start over elsewhere.
17. Peeing in the shower and (Continued)
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in the swimming pool.
18. Typing out a comment only to erase it because you feel like nothing you say is important or you chicken out. Also reading it over like 5 times to make sure that your spelling is perfect.
19. Nearly fingered their butt-holes in an attempt to scratch it.
20. Think really negative / mean thoughts about someone else, even though you don't really think that thing.
Anonymous
21. Looked in the mirror while crying really hard.
22. Wondered if you were secretly being videotaped like in The Truman Show.
23. Farted and then (Continued)
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blamed it on someone else.
24. Running your fingers through your pubes in a nonsexual way.
25. Picking up something you dropped, with your feet, because you're too lazy to bend down.
26. Running up the stairs to avoid the monster that is chasing you out of the basement.
Anonymous
27. Open the fridge just to look inside, close it, and walk away.
28. Pretending you are opening automatic doors using your Jedi force.
Anonymous
29. Checking if there's a (Continued)
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murderer lurking behind the shower curtain.
30. Pacing while talking on the phone. Sometimes I'll lap around my house like 50 times in one call.
[Deleted]
31. You take out your phone to check the time, then put it back in your pocket. A couple seconds go by and you realize you have no idea what time it said, and you have to check again.
32. Got lost while driving? Better turn down the volume on the radio, since that will surely help you find your way.
33. Going through the whole alphabet just to find the position of one letter.
Anonymous
34. Holding your breath during an "underwater scene" in a movie just to see if you would survive.
Anonymous
35. Reading other peoples' diaries, searching through their computer, going through their stuff, etc. We've all done something like this and it's way too creepy to admit.
Anonymous
"Blanket NDAs are now illegal. What can you finally tell us about your former employer?"
Insider Trading And Dirty Money
"They bought back a sh*tload of shares from employees under the pretense of 'we know the extra cash is better now than later!' and then went public shortly thereafter."
"The bonus is that the CEO then admitted he was using 'some' of that money to finance his divorce."- crackpotpourri
Improper Spending
"They misused pandemic assistance funds."- Quercus408
Falsifying Records
"I worked for a school district that changed grades to boost graduation rates."- RoscoeFreidland·
GiphyToo Little Too Late...
"They tried to get me to sign one when I retired but I just laughed at them and walked out."
"When you retire you are not under any circumstances required to sign an NDA!!!"- Tede6977
How Long Have You Got?
"I worked for the political consultant best known in DC circles for having gotten a dead fish in the mail from Rahm Emanuel."
"The consultant was a super weird boss."
"Full of shady business practices, including expensing all of his personal sh*t like family vacations to the business."
"But this is the story that tends to blow minds:"
"My former employer had me print out his emails so he could handwrite his responses, which I would type up and send back."
"No, I wasn't his assistant lol."
"He was too cheap to hire one."
"So he'd pull people off time sensitive client projects to do this crap, which turned everything into chaos."
"One of the many reasons turnover was high and the business failed."- rotatingruhnama
Buster Keaton Secretary GIF by MauditGiphyDeception At It's Worst
"Our sales department deliberately used deceptively vague language when selling extremely expensive travel packages to disabled passengers."
"They routinely left caregivers stranded with no accommodation other than 'the floor' or sleeping in the same bed as their patients."
"They also routinely failed to provide accessible bathrooms for disabled passengers."
"They also lost/damaged wheelchairs and mobility aids."
"There was little to no sympathy for these passengers and their caregivers when they rightly complained."
"When I tried to raise the issue with higher ups I was labelled a trouble maker."
"I left the company back in 2019 but I know nothing has changed in regards to sales."
"The price for the cheapest trip offered was over 2k CND person for a two day trip."
"The average booking was 8k for a 5 day holiday."
"They charge much more now."
"Can you imagine paying 8 thousand dollars and not being able to shower, or your mobility aid being lost."
"Then when you complain you are told you were never promised anything only 'we will do our best' or 'that shouldn’t be a problem!'"
"F*cking disgraceful."- moodychurchill
But Did They Get It In Writing?
"A publication I worked for completely embezzled from the parent company."
"The editor in chief hired their best friend as creative director."
"Creative director contracts their husband as a 'men’s fashion editor' when the publication had no men’s fashion section and was not a fashion-related pub."
"He was paid thousands monthly on retainer and almost never came into the office, and if he did, he never did any work."
"On top of that he was paid usage fees for travel images he took and were printed."
"That family took a one week trip for a story, brought their child, and submitted a $40,000.00 expense report after for it."
"Oh, then there were the future invoices for her husband’s usage fees for his photos, while they were being paid to be there because it was for a story."
"Other editors in chief from other publications were given a $25,000.00 clothing budget every year and a daily black car driver to take them to the office."
"When I worked for another title in the building that EIC submitted a very high expense report which included his groceries."
"The company would even provide interest free down payments to EICs for homes but they stopped doing that."
"Meanwhile they ran multiple rounds of layoffs a year, consolidated staffs so they worked across multiple titles, and paid peanuts to regular employees."
"I was laid off from that company twice within 2 years and they didn’t vest my 401K match because both times I missed the cutoff by months."- The_RoyalPee
Editor In Chief Media GIFGiphyConflict Of Interest
"One of my old bosses reprimanded an employee after the employee called HR to file a complaint about him."
"This is because the HR employee happened to be a friend of the boss in question, and the HR employee blabbed about it to the boss."
"The boss did not get fired but he did get reassigned not long after."
"Not sure what happened to the HR employee."- NotConsistentCalc
Lack Of Common Sense
"I worked for a company that f*cked up itself by biting off more than it could chew, and then a competitor went under, which flooded the market and f*cked over the company I worked for even more."
"Most of the company has been laid off by now."
"CEO went before anyone else."
"The new CEO?"
"The same f*cking sh*tty CEO that sunk their competitor."
"Who the f*ck would see a competitor fail, have it nearly take themselves down too, and then hire the same f*cking idiot a few weeks later."- prettyqueerdad
Not What They Appear To Be
"The weather forecasting company I worked at a while back didn’t actually forecast."
"They just copy/pasted products from the National Weather Service and slapped their logo on it."- freesedevon
GIF by Owain Wyn EvansGiphyIt's shameful to think that some companies are able to silence their employees from exposing their corrupt practices.
Unluckily for them, the truth always has a way of coming out.
A deleted Redditor wanted to hear about the times when the pursuit needed to end, so they asked:
"What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?"
I lose interest all the time.
A sneeze can turn me off. #foreversingle
Bad Swipe
No Way Beer GIF by BuschGiphy"Brought a kid she never mentioned on a tinder date (I’m 18)."
Relief-Old
Squeaky Clean...
"After dating a woman for a few months, I took her out for breakfast on her birthday with plans to see her again that night. She went completely off the radar only to emerge the next day to confess that she had spent the night in jail for violating the restraining order placed upon her after assaulting her previous boyfriend. Hit the eject button pronto. Never looked back. I was completely caught off guard because she held a very prestigious job, had extensive real estate holdings, and presented as squeaky clean."
drmonkeytown
No Womb For You
"After the second date he said he can’t wait to put a baby in me. And when I asked if we can get to know each other first he said he doesn’t have time for a 6-12 months courtship. He already knows what he wants. Anyway... I did let him know I’m not a womb for hire, and never talked again."
notyourusualprincess
No Reason
"Yelled at someone at a party for a miscommunication that was no one's fault. I get it, it was frustrating, but she just yelled at this woman for no reason."
KaRue3
"This is a reason why a standard question for me when starting to see someone new is 'What are the odds you’ll yell at me in public?' I always phrase it almost like a joke, so the way they start saying in what situations they would definitely yell at you will tell you all you need to know. Sometimes it’s very obviously a joke, and sometimes it’s obvious how dead serious they are."
The1Zackiechan
Succubus
Love Me GIFGiphy"I realized he was using me for favors. He was always needy, but never there when I desperately needed him."
blonde_77
When it's all about them... run.
Human Garbage...
Difficult People Reaction GIF by HULUGiphy"When he stopped talking to me after I didn't send him nudes, turns out he asks multiple girls for nudes, then sells the pictures to some of his friends. A complete human garbage, if you ask me."
Scarlet_Rot_Falke
True Evil
"They hurt my dog."
"Now, I was into this guy for a while. Bigger guy. Seemed really sweet. I invited him over after we hit it off, and my dog, being a dog, came up to see this new person. He responds to this inquisitive sniffing my kicking them in the face, and seeming proud of it, saying that you 'have to show a mutt who's boss.'"
"I told him to get the f**k out of my house and never come back."
"I'm still very single, but my dogs haven't been hurt like that since."
InkblotDoggo
Cheater
"They started flirting with my best friend."
Minibersy
"I was the best friend and I didn't even do anything but it killed our friendship. We were young so looking back I think it was just emotional but damn. His girlfriend was being an a**hole to him but he saw me as the problem. It made me feel so Go**amn helpless at the time. Everyone treated me like I was a cheater. Like I led her on."
Pencilowner
"Oof been there, my BF told me he was in love with my best friend. thankfully he told me at the exact time I was already planning on breaking up with him."
lifeisntsirius
Keep Looking
red flag GIF by Steve Harvey TVGiphy"The biggest red flag for me is pursuing someone who loves attention on themselves but is not very interested in your life. Basically drop the pursuit right there and look for someone who is just as interested in you as you are in them."
Pretend_Tea6261
Always follow the red flags and save yourself the trouble of becoming emotionally invested in someone troublesome.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.