'Unintentional Nudes': College Professors Share The Most Memorable Email They've Ever Received From A Student
College can be a crap shoot, sure, but these students took it to the next level. Here, Professors shared their most *ahem* memorable emails from a student. Enjoy!
A few years ago I was teaching a design studio for first-year students in our program. My boss had enacted a tough attendance policy from on-high, as many of the freshmen undergrads often tried to skip studio. Because of this, I frequently received requests to miss class for stupid things like Football games and house parties... and the requests got more and more ridiculous as the semester went on. One day I was checking my work email and noticed a request to miss class that Friday "because I am playing in the Quidditch finals this Saturday in Canada." Since it was Wednesday and our class was about to start, I decided to confront the prankster in class. I get to class and see the students crowding his desk. Well, apparently he knew I wouldn't believe him, so he brought his gear into class along with an album of photos of him playing Quidditch throughout High School. Now, I am a self-proclaimed Harry Potter fan and I felt so shamed that day I just let his absence slide. When he returned to class, he brought photos of his match and even though they lost the game, he seemed grateful that I didn't penalize him.
This is an email chain from a student I don't think I ever actually saw.
"Can I get an extension? "
"You haven't turned anything all year. I'm not even sure if you've been to any classes. It's December. What possible reason could I have you giving you an 'extension'? "
"I paid for the class so I deserve the credit for it."
"You paid for the chance to learn. You chose to not take that chance. I look forward to seeing you next semester. "
A few years back, I was working as a lab TA and I had an older student who really seemed to resent being taught by a 20-something fellow student. In the syllabus for this lab was a rubric all the TAs had agreed on. Part of the grade was always including units on numbers and we'd take off one point per unit missing.
This student handed in a lab report with zero units anywhere so I followed the rubric and took off points. I expected her to come talk to me, since I told them every day to talk to me about any issues and I'd do my best to give back points wherever it could be justified. I try to be nice to my students because it get it - labs suck and you don't have time to do everything perfectly. I didn't hear anything from her until the next lab was due. She emailed it to me and said, "Since it's apparently okay to take off an exorbitant amount of points for something as trivial as missing units, I'm not going to use units anymore."
I have no clue what the heck compels a grown adult to act like a 5 year old. She eventually stopped attending labs and I have no idea what happened to her.
I had a mother show up to contest her daughter's performance, after emailing me several times about it. Yep, here's the story...
I have checked with the organization on campus that is meant to help faculty mediate these kinds of issues, and according to them this is the worst case of helicopter parenting that they have ever witnessed at this University. So I got that going for me, which is nice. Another thing that I must mention is that I was a TA for the class. The actual professor was there for the meeting as well.
The daughter sets up a meeting with me after quite a bit of pestering, and I reluctantly agree. It is a Friday afternoon. I am already a little POed because I usually work from home at this time. I had prepared a speech to give to the daughter to explain to her that the way she was behaving was unacceptable for a student at the university level, especially at this University (a top school). Anyway, I hear a knock at the door, the door swings open, it isn't the student, it is her mother.
My first reaction was, "Okay, this will be unpleasant, but she, even more so than her daughter, has no power to influence this situation." She introduces herself; she's actually very pleasant. She says, "I don't want to talk about grades, just academics." "Ok," I said, not understanding the difference. The next thing she says though proves quite clearly that she is there to start some crap. She comes out and says, "You are the worst teacher to ever be at XXX University." I don't say anything; I try not to laugh, this is clearly super serious, you guys.
She then slams on the table this binder that contains every single email that I have sent to this class. She says, "Now I am a lawyer..." Now this actually make me laugh a bit, not because of the absurdity of this whole thing, but the way she said it reminded me of Tracy Morgan's impression of Star Jones, if anyone is familiar.
She produces an email. "On such and such date, you used the verb 'suck' in an email." This is true, actually. Part of the class was to have students practice evaluating scientific articles, so some of the literature I sent out were meant to be examples of troublesome experiments. Anyways, I was relieved to hear her use that as her opening gambit because it means she really didn't have any reason to complain. The professor tells her that her daughter is an adult and that there is no need to protect her from bad language, and besides, the wording I used was pretty mild to say the least.
Realizing that her ace in the hole went nowhere, she turns up the fury quite a bit. The remaining meeting consisted of about a half hour of just ranting and raving. The next thing she says is that and this is also true (I feel like I need to keep saying this because no one will believe me) it is "irresponsible" for the University to have a class that was as small as this one. It had about 12 students. She cites some non existent, I'm sure, study, that says that small class sizes are actually detrimental to learning. A mound of evidence and the talking points of every college brochure ever produced say otherwise. She sees that this tactic also goes nowhere.
This is another one of my favorite moments...
She goes on to talk about extra credit, and asks why I didn't give her daughter full credit on the assignment. The Professor and I explain to her that extra credit is just that extra and it is to our (and really the professor's) discretion to give it. It can also be taken away. This is another mind blowing point in the story. It echoes something the daughter had sent to me earlier in an email. The daughter tells me that she wrote an extra "essay." I had never assigned it, and I have never even seen it. The mom asks me why I have not rewarded her daughter for this essay. You heard this right. Both mom and daughter have asked me to give credit for a paper that I'm quite certain doesn't even exist. I am stunned at this point at how calm the Professor was during all of this.
She now just grasps at straws. She mentions that she is an anonymous donor to the university and that if this is not "resolved" she is going to withdraw future donation. The professor says, "Well if your donations are anonymous, then how can the University miss them?" Rage intensifies. She does the whole "I pay your salaries" shebang. Professor replies flatly, "no you don't." She is furious now.
She says that the Professor and I are purposely trying to intimidate her and that she is there to have a reasoned conversation (remember that her first words were, "I am the worst teacher ever"). She stands up, says, "Eff you" directly to me, "Eff you" directly to the professor, and claims she is going to go talk to the dean about the situation. I love this moment actually. Prior to the whole thing, I sent an email to the organization on campus that helps teachers with these issues and explained the situation (that the daughter was being insistent on meeting when she had no recourse). I approached the situation very gingerly, because I believe strongly that every student has the right to seek redress if they feel they have been graded unfairly. Anyways I got a forwarded email from them that was basically a single sentence from the dean herself that said the daughter was being a brat, and I should tell her so. If only she showed up, I would have.
The mom walks out the door, never to be heard from again. If anyone is wondering, the student's grade was NOT changed. However, I continue to have nightmares about this incident.
I had a student who was pretty behind in the class. I wasnt faculty at the time but a student-teacher lecturer. Anyway, in the last week before finals she asked me about extra credit. At that point it was already too late. So she emailed me saying that she would do "anything" for a few extra credit points. The implication was pretty clear. I wrote her back and nicely repeated that she was too late and just needed to focus on the final. That was the end of it, but I was glad when the semester was over. In case anyone is wondering, yes she was very attractive, but I was in a committed relationship and would also never do anything that unethical.
I was a T.A. for one semester in college. If anything, it taught me that I never wanted to be a teacher. When your students are the same age as you, they expect you will quickly cave in, and their excuses sound like they are citing references.
That semester I had to fail one girl because she never showed up to the laboratory sessions, which was mandatory. Her excuses started pouring in about three weeks before the class ended. Here is her best line (keep in mind, these are primarily students in the Pre-Med/Pre-Dental Programs).
I have my period every week at the time that lab is scheduled so its been difficult for me to make it because of heavy menstruation. I know that this may not make you happy, but if you dont pass me Im going to have to take this to the head of the department and possibly to a lawyer because you are discriminating against women.
So, I forwarded the E-mail to the Professor teaching the course, he E-mailed it to his boss, it made the rounds, gathered a few chuckles and that was that. I ended up failing the serial menstruater, and told myself Id never teach again.
Menstruater isnt a word? Really? Yes it is.
Freshman composition class: I had a student stop showing up after the first couple weeks of class but she didn't drop the class. About a week before the last possible drop date (towards the middle of the semester) I emailed her telling her that because of how much class and work she had missed there was now no chance of her being able to pass the class and she needed to drop while she still could. She responded with a long plea to please give her a second chance and swearing she could make up the work (by this point she had missed half the work in the class). I reminded her of the attendance policy that did not allow you to miss more than three classes without penalty to your grade and pointed out that she had missed fifteen classes, which was a guaranteed F even if she did all the work but she continued to plead with me well past the last drop date.
I would receive an email every two or three days from her begging for a second chance, telling me that if she failed the class she would be forced to drop out, providing every excuse about how busy she was with work and family and continuing to insist that she was fully capable of making up the work. This went on for six weeks. I finally got so fed up with it that my last message to her told her that if she had put as much work into the class as she had to begging for a second chance she never would have been in this position in the first place, that I was not going to respond to any more messages from her and that she could take it up with the director of composition if she didn't like it (who I had already discussed the issue with and he had my back).
She was still on campus next semester, though I knew from the beginning that she was lying about being forced to drop out if she failed my class.
The moral of the story: if you start to fall behind in a class go to the professor straight away. Most professors are willing to work with you if you're up front about what's going on. Vanishing and then coming back begging for a second chance is not going to put you on any professor's good side.
Student here. We had to post on a website documents of our writings for critiques. I accidentally clicked nude pictures and submitted. For a document it would prompt a cancel screen since it takes a few seconds to upload but due to good internet connection and small file size of the image it was instantaneous. Also the sidebar has a preview of all files uploaded so by scrolling over it you see a nude picture of a woman. Yeah, not great. Also, the professor can only delete image files apparently. I uploaded twenty files just to put the image down at the bottom of the file queue. Then I had to send the awkward email to my Professor. She responded saying it was a mistake no problem and applauded my efforts to minimize the situation and have the courage to explain the situation in a formal manner.
My most outrageous email was from a graduate student who got a zero on a quiz. The quiz was online and available to the students for a full week. The student simply didn't do it by the deadline. She emailed me saying it wasn't fair that she got a zero because she forgot to take the quiz.
I replied that all her fellow students had managed to remember to do it AND I had reminded them in class to do the quiz. Her reply: "You should have sent an email reminder to us."
Although I didn't respond to her, my internal response was, "I'm not your mom. Grow up and take responsibility for your actions."
I'm a student, but I was emailed by another student and it was pretty interesting. In our Information Security class we had just finished the chapter about trojans, malware, and the likes. One of the things that is quite particular to this story is that we had just finished learning about phishing. Now, for those who do not know, phishing is sending bad links in an attempt to get a naive user to the point where they are willing give up their username and password.
Well, two days after our test on these bad files, a phishing attempt started going around the University. It was sent by a supposed student, trying to get people to attach their University accounts to a study site. After you signed up they would email everyone else in your classes about the supposed study session. Well, one of the kids in our Information Security class fell for it and gave them his username and password. One of the people emailed was the teacher. The teacher called him out during the next class for being naive. Pretty sure he failed the test too.
Not a professor but my professor did show us an email that was sent to him by a student about 10 years back and he kept her anonymous. The content of the email was basically she had to skip class and didn't know how to phrase it so she said "sorry I couldn't come to class my vagina is on fire." End of email. This was a Tuesday/Thursday class. She sent the email on Thursday and she sent another email Monday saying "I will be attending class this coming Tuesday, I'm sorry about missing class. But the fire is out."
She was strange.
I was TA for an 80 person class and would proctor exams for my professor. One student would show up 30+ minutes late for every single exam. Then, when time was up she would be the only student left taking the exam, and when I would try to collect it, I'd get "No, I get extra time because I'm a SNAP student." Essentially she had some sort of learning disability, and she was permitted to take the exam in a separate location with extra allotted time if she set it up beforehand. Every time, I would explain this to her, tell her I had places to be, and take her exam away.
Before the final, my professor told me she got an email from the girl's mother, complaining about me not giving the girl adequate time to take the exams. My professor told her that SNAP didn't apply, and if she wanted more time, she should show up to the exam on time. The mom apologized and said she'd talk to her daughter. Sure enough, on the day of the final, the girl shows up an hour late to the three hour exam, and tries that same SNAP excuse again. She failed the course with flying colors.
Not a prof, but was a T.A. for him and we ended up being buddies after I was no longer a student.
He had a girl that blatantly copied an essay. Like, it had that old-time typeface from papers written in 1930. He showed EVERYONE in the department; no one had to even read it to know it wasn't hers. Apparently she was also a sub-par student at best and was in her 40s getting a degree most likely for a promotion - no judgment, just saying the paper wasn't hers at all.
The prof looked and looked and couldn't find it anywhere, so he had no other recourse than to give her a C for the class because he couldn't prove plagiarism. She was livid, and kept insisting it was hers even after being confronted with the evidence... And then stalked him for YEARS. She would call his home, email him, telling him she would ruin him and blah blah blah. Even after changing emails and phone numbers.
Some people's kids, man.
Earlier this semester, a girl at my university made national news when she emailed her professor asking for her absence from the next class to be excused because she was celebrating a religious holiday. The holiday? Beyonce's birthday.
Here's the transcript of the email:
Good Evening Professor, I would like to inform you that I will not be in class today due to this holiday. On September 4, 1981 The Lord blessed us all with the Goddess that is Queen Beyonce Knowels-Carter's birthday. Out of respect, I will not be attending class today, The Lords Day. For any further questions, feel free to contact me. Have a blessed day and remember, Beyonce Loves You so Bow Down.
Apparently the girl meant it as a joke and didn't actually mean to send it but clicked send by accident.
I'm the assistant for a group of theoretical physics professors at a large university, so I get a lot of emails from students or prospective students looking to get in contact with a professor. This one kid emailed me, and then called me multiple times, asking if he could come in and just tell somebody about what he'd been working on. He kept saying, "Everything they know is wrong. What I know will change Physics forever," and had a general hopped-up-on-uppers tone. But, he couldn't tell me anything specific about his research, so I knew we were going nowhere.
Eventually, the way I got him to leave me alone was to say that no one will listen if you don't have a degree, and I pawned him off on admissions. It was annoying, but I also felt bad because it was obvious that he wasn't quite right mentally.
I used to teach when I was doing my PhD, so technically I wasn't a prof, and I'd say this right at the outset. Also, not sure what it said about me or how the University viewed me, but they always wanted me to teach the first year "Computers for non-computer kids" class. I thought I did a decent job at it, and I didn't fool myself into thinking I was doing anything more than being a cheaper replacement over paying full-on faculty to do it.
So end of term comes, and I think this was the last time I taught so it wasn't like I was a rookie and by then I'd figured out how to do a good job, however I got an email from one of the students to the effect of:
Dear Dr (I didn't have a PhD) Billbapapa,
I really enjoyed having you as my Professor (I was not a prof).
I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't be so nervous (I wasn't nervous) when you teach. Even though you seem young for a Professor (I was not a prof!) everyone still respected you (good I guess? didn't realize that was in question). We know you were trying hard and we're sure with time you'll become a good teacher too (what? I thought I was at least okay). I thought you were a very nice guy, and I hope you are still teaching this course again next semester incase I have to retake it (which probably explained the email).
Have a great day,
(and i'm not exaggerating the name, it really was one letter, and the email was from a random hotmail address)
So I have no idea who sent it, or if they were trying to make me feel better or worse or just trying to be funny. But either way memorable.
I had a student in an intro social science class a few years ago that wrote a semester-long string of ridiculous emails that still make me angry when I think about them. She was a freshman and apparently having trouble adjusting to life at a big university. She didn't show up to class for the first 2 or 3 weeks, so I emailed to remind her that she was already hurting her grade and needed to start attending or drop the class. The student replied with a long email explaining that she had started having panic attacks since starting college, and the anxiety, medications, and psych appointments that had resulted were keeping her from attending class. She was worried about her grade and more generally about starting college off on the wrong foot.
Well this story really hit home for me. I am usually a skeptical teacher, having encountered all kinds of bullcrap from students, but I suffered with serious anxiety the semester I started grad school after two decades of being a perfect student, so I felt enormous sympathy for this student. I replied with a long, kind email, suggesting all sorts of accommodations that would require a lot of time from me, like one-on-one meetings to help her catch up on everything she'd missed. I even alluded to having personal experience with similar issues and understanding how hard it could be.
No response from this girl for a couple of weeks. I follow up I with her a couple of times, but no response. I'm mostly concerned about her mental health and making sure she doesn't fall through the cracks or spiral further, but there's only so much I can do (and I did everything I could through the student affairs office).
Then, the first exam rolls around, and she bombs it.
She's suddenly emailing me again, grateful for my help and asking to start meeting right away. We set up a meeting. She doesn't show up and never offers an explanation for her absence. She then emails again a week later, asking for another meeting. I give her a time to meet, ask her to confirm the time, and I don't hear anything. A week later, the student finally returns my email, saying she missed the message, and the meeting, because she was at home visiting her parents for the weekend, and she didn't have email access. Except she emailed me FROM HER PHONE. Which I know because all of her messages ended with "sent from my Blackberry." And I emailed her on a Monday for a meeting that would be taking place the following week.
She didn't ask to meet again after that, and I gave up, realizing that, even if she did have a mental health issue, she was also wasting my time and clearly not very invested in the class.
I thought that would be the end of interactions with my blackberry-using student, and it was, until the day after final exam grades are posted. She sent me and the head professor an email that, in a very bewildered tone, asked why I never replied to her email at the beginning of the semester. She wanted so badly to succeed in this class, but I couldn't be bothered to help her when she was suffering. She wanted extra credit for having had to suffer through the indignity of a TA that wouldn't answer her emails and didn't care about students' welfare.
I replied by asking, as politely as possible, what the bloody heck she was talking about. I then copied and pasted our entire email conversation from the semester. The professor was mad that she had lied and left her grade as it was (D at the highest, though I can't remember for sure).
She eventually replied to my email with: "Oh, sorry. I got confused."
This isn't an email, but it's the most memorable student interaction in my two semesters TA-ing for a 300-person American Literature survey class.
Because of the large class size, the professor had the students sign up for a certain week to turn in their big term paper. So I averaged grading about 30 essays a week. Each week was connected to a specific author that the student had to write about--week 1 Nathaniel Hawthorne, week 2 Walt Whitman. You get the idea.
This one student signed up for the week were they had the option to write about either Harriet Beecher Stowe or Herman Melville. It appeared on the online sign-up page as "week 6: Stowe, Melville."
The student wrote her essay about a person named "Melville Stowe" and I'm pretty sure the biographical details and literature references were a combination of Herman Melville and Walt Whitman.
I used to teach landscape architecture at the American University of Beirut. As an assistant professor.
One day a student sent me her design work to review as I had proposed she could do it (she was falling behind and needed more support than the rest).
She sent it along with a selfie of her in her room in comfortable clothes. It wasn't anything sexual, but it was kind of intimate. I didn't mind it... But had a girlfriend at the time and was being a good guy.
I talked to her about it the next day and we had a laugh, but I knew there was more than just that. However, nothing happened.
Comments have been edited for clarity.
There is a world full of mysteries to explore right at our very feet.
Do we engage with it on a level that might make us more uncomfortable? Well, if we really want to learn everything there is to know about our planet earth, we have to engage in the unsettling facts. They appear across every discipline.
The Easier Way Out<p>During the French Revolution, where the guillotine was introduced, the people to be executed fought to be first, as the blade would dull after multiple uses and wouldn't cut a head clean off at the first attempt.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Back2Bach/" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p><p>And the last execution by guillotine in France was the same year Star Wars came out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CaptainPrower/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CaptainPrower</a></p>
At LEAST One?!<p>You have probably unknowingly encountered, or walked past at least one murderer in your lifetime.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/theprettyunicorn/" target="_blank">theprettyunicorn</a></p><p>For sure encountered. Worked night shift at a convenience store, guy pulled in to put gas came in the store used the atm and left. 3 min later swarm of cops surrounded the store. He had just murdered his family a couple states over and cops got a hit when he used the atm machine.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cool1Mach/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Cool1Mach</a></p>
WELP<p>For a long time it was believed that babies were too underdeveloped to be able to feel pain, and as such, did not need anesthetic for any kind of surgeries.</p><p>Up into the 1980's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FartKilometre/" target="_blank">FartKilometre</a></p>
Internet History<p>Eventually, most of the content on the internet will have been created by dead people.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Phaesporic/" target="_blank">Phaesporic</a></p><p>Now I'm imagining a class like English literature but for internet culture and picturing a bored class with some kids sleeping while the teacher is saying some shit like "Okay class this meme is 100 years old and it says Me and the Boys going out to get some B E A N S what do the B E A N S symbolize and how does it reflect what was going on in society ? " lmao.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cheshire_Cat8888/" target="_blank">Cheshire_Cat8888</a></p>
Awful, Awful<p>There are estimated to be at least 25 active serial killers in the United States alone at any given time. Very few will be detected, much less apprehended.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/brideofchuckydoll/" target="_blank">brideofchuckydoll</a></p><p>Derrick Todd Lee and Sean Vincent Gillis were both active serial killer in the same city from the late 90s to early 2000s. For most of this time, law enforcement did not realize they were trying to catch multiple individuals, much less that they were acting completely independently of each other. On top of that, there are additional unsolved murders that neither was ever linked to whose evidence raises the possibility of a third active serial killer in the area during the same time period.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/see-bees/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">see-bees</a></p>
Viewer, Beware....<p>National parks are not all swings and roundabouts. Over 1600 people have gone inside Yellowstone National Park and never come out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/I_Am_A_Master-Baiter/" target="_blank">I_Am_A_Master-Baiter</a></p><p>Yellowstone is known for boiling water and pools of acid. People on this earth put gorrilla glue in their hair. I don't have any questions about what happened.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MCqStep/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MCqStep</a></p>
Statistically....<p>If you end up being the victim of a violent crime, you probably know the perpetrators. You probably trust them, most likely, you love them.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Double-Kicks/" target="_blank">Double-Kicks</a></p><p>People find it weird when the police declare most family members and close friends of murder victims to be suspects, but this is precisely why. You are FAR more likely to be (deliberately) killed by someone you know than a stranger. Also, in most countries and demographics, the most likely person to deliberately kill you is you.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/kutuup1989/" target="_blank">kutuup1989</a></p>
Our Brains Are Unsettling, Too<p>There is a rare genetic degenerative brain disorder called Fatal Familial Insomnia. FFI starts as a mild inability to sleep followed by short bouts of intense nightmares/dreams and progressively deteriorates until the sufferer is completely unable to sleep, at all. Eventually impacting the human ability to microsleep as a last ditch effort of self preservation. There is no cure for FFI and eventually sufferers lose their minds and die of sleep deprivation. But it gets so much worse.</p><p>Due to the degenerative nature of the condition as it progresses you begin deteriorating mentally and physically. You lose the ability to regulate body temperature and may swing between freezing and sweating, you develop severe memory problems, confusion, agitation, weight loss, paranoia, hallucinations, speech problems, double vision, loss of motor controls (similar to parkinsons), inability to swallow, increased blood pressure and production of tears as well as many other unpleasant symptoms. The combination of your mind going and your body shutting down eventually kills you.</p>
Rise Of The Machines<p>There so far at least two fatalities as a result of robots, both of industrial type.</p><p>The first was in Flat Rock, Michigan in 1979 when an engineer was killed when he was hit in the back and crushed while retrieving parts at an automobile factory. It was due to a malfunctioning industrial robot he was fixing. The second was in Akashi, Hyōgo, Japan where a maintenance worker was fixing a broken-down robot when it came to life by mistake. Both locations happened in factories that are well-known for manufacturing vehicles.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MissSara101/" target="_blank">MissSara101</a></p>
So Can We Fix The Justice System Now<p>One to five percent of the US prison population is estimated to be innocent.</p><p>Combine that with the fact that one percent of the US population is incarcerated and your chance of being wrongly imprisoned in the 21st century is around 1 in 1000 in America.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Crocoshark/" target="_blank">Crocoshark</a></p>
Let's be honest, most of us don't read the Terms and Conditions before we click that little "I Agree" button. Most of you probably aren't even going to read this intro.
A huge chunk of you are going to open this article and immediately scroll to "the meat" because we're all about getting to the good stuff. But that rush can sometimes mean missing out on some seriously important tidbits of info.
The Catch Was...<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0Mzg2NjM3N30.Zr6T7LGuuXaTr7NKBFfaCTwEc0Fvu3yJ-KdYO-Xk_No/img.gif?width=980" id="c41a3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f677f014d9104effd3b059212c9af24c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Giphy<p>I financed some furniture when I was young and getting established in my first professional job. It was interest-free financing for the first 12 months. </p><p>The catch was that if you paid late, they would charge you a fee, back-interest from the beginning of the loan period, and you would lose the interest free status for the rest of the loan. The APR was 29.9%, compounded monthly! </p><p>I couldn't imagine getting to the 11th payment and having something go wrong so a payment is late, then pay basically double what I had financed on the furniture.</p><p>I paid it off in 6 months, and I never did in-store financing again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnx5tr1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p>This is most interest free gimmicks. Educate your friends. Usually the young ones fall victim to this.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny23jj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chimmiii</a></p><p>I sold furniture and we had financing like this and I made sure to always tells my customers this so they couldn't come at me later on down the road. Others didn't and it just seemed so shady and f*cked up to me.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxldnd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Piccolo_known</a></p>
Get It From The Next Owner<p>I almost signed a contract that granted 50% of profits to the previous owner of the business for 3 years. It was a restaurant that used a conventional microwave instead of an actual oven.</p><p>This was back in the early 2000's and this place had a wonderful 50's vibe. From the bar, to the stools to booths - but it was empty because the food was SO bad and there was fast food up the road.</p><p>We were going to get a pizza oven in there and turn it into a Pizza/Shake place with soup in the winter. </p><p>When the law STUDENT we paid $500 to look over everything (DO THIS!) asked the seller about it for us, they said that they had sunk so much money into the business, the only way to make the money back was to get it from the next owner somehow.</p><p>Good luck with that.</p><p>We could not get them to remove that clause, the owner was hellbent on making the next person be the one to make the business successful and pay them.</p>
18 Months<p>A realtor once gave me a contract that said she would be the only person allowed to represent the property for 18 months.</p><p>That means that they were the only person that could try to sell the house. For <em>a year and a half</em>. We could not work with a different agent if we felt that this one wasn't doing enough, not responding, if we weren't happy, etc. </p><p>If we did, this agent would still get commission from the sale that that other agent actually made.</p><p>Nope. No way was I going to agree to being attached to someone for a year and a half like that. We found a different realtor with a 3 month term (which is much closer to standard), told the first one that her terms were ridiculous, and was under contract within 10 days.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny1hbr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Tricky-Garden</a></p>
Idol Entitlement<p>Canadian Idol auditions when the first show was announced. Read the contract to the very end after signing it.</p><p>"you agree to being filmed 24/7. We can enter your room at any time and record personal phone calls and interactions with anyone." </p><p>That received a hard no for me. Ripped up the contract and never looked back. Thank god I read that before submitting it.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jenskal</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Tell the camera crew to get out or get weird.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz2mr7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WielderOfDaNWordPass</a></p><p>Fine want to record me 24/7? Congrats, I have IBS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz0d4s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wanderurlyy</a></p>
Phone Privileges<p>To be able to link my phone's outlook reader to my university account, I would had to give the IT-department permission to wipe my phone clean "if needed."</p><p>No thanks, I'll just use browser instead.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">craftaliis</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I saw an employment contract where, if you did any company business on your cell phone, they could go through your phone and delete/restrict basically whatever they wanted. </p><p>I advised my friend to make a company-provided phone part of her contract.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Yeah. Someone at my old company had a commonish name, and someone lost their phone... and the company wiped the wrong phone.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnye6z8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">blargh2947</a></p>
The Good Ol' US of A<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTA1MDM5M30.A1BqwoI_FExTt3jqON2xJbJN1qt62txRrTsJ8V5Ybs8/img.gif?width=980" id="99844" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9236d4a9b82c22589577961a2a710924" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Season 3 America GIF by Broad CityGiphy<p>Any health and safety terms and conditions in USA. </p><p>I was working on adapting a US one for a charity event in the UK run by the same people and oh boy you cannot get away with that here. One line said if an employee harmed you in any way (even intentionally), you could not sue... </p><p>What!? </p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnydf7s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lt52-</a></p>
Keep It<p>Free ceiling insulation. </p><p>The catch? You allowed a company to install temperature sensors around the inside of your house, and they can do that at any time. And you have to allow access for them to check the sensors and get readings, adjust things, and remove the sensors. Everything belongs to the company. </p><p>This means letting randos into your house potentially over and over to get their readings from the electrical crap they put in your house. </p><p>Nah I'm good, keep your insulation.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyrbn7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bumpequalsbump</a></p>
Airlines<p>Was going to post this as a response on another thread, but I want people to actually see it.</p><p>When you book a flight, in the terms and conditions (especially for basic and econo fares) you agree that in the event of your flight getting canceled due to an act outside of the airlines control they don't have to refund you unless they offer you a travel credit.</p><p>That includes a world spanning virus.</p><p>Don't be cheap, get travelers insurance or pay for the higher fare that has a refund clause.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bpanio</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></p>
Crepes<p>I worked for a meat pie company that moved over from Australia that made me sign a contract that I would never work for another meat pie company or open an establishment that sells similar food. I didn't read the fine print. </p><p>They also sold a few other things ... like crepes. Sure enough, I wanted to open a food truck and my partner had her sights on crepes as she made them in her previous food truck and it just happened a truck we were buying was set up to make similar things. </p><p>I gave 1 month notice because they were busy and I didn't want to leave them stranded in high season. I told the owner we were working on a food truck we bought, it was a dream coming true, and that it happens we are doing crepes as my partner is French and had done them before.</p>
This Sparks Joy<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTU2NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTY0OTgxM30.takzFO7X_vx_UzNvPeNEvpcYSGho5_AZNX-itkNSdOE/img.gif?width=980" id="d78cf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="09a8efb07fb739ec04f38de1406639f5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="276" />Giphy<p>I'm pretty sure I gave google the rights to all of my Spotify data when they gave me a free google home. </p><p>On one hand, RIP privacy. </p><p>On the other hand, knowing some poor algorithm has to figure out some possible way to advertise things to me based on listening to Knock On Wood 57 times in a row and the soundtrack to Starship Troopers on repeat gives me great joy.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnywvs7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OakNogg</a></p>
Claim $100<p>Back when the internet really started being a thing, some company/website put something in their terms and conditions about the first person who reads it, can contact them to claim a $100 prize. </p><p>Took five years for somebody to claim the prize.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RubyShooz </a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I wonder how much of that is people not reading it and how much is people reading it and thinking "surely somebody's already claimed this by now, why bother?"</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyj0gy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Novaseerblyat</a></p>
Amazon ... Should We Be Worried?<p>Not really an example of the worst thing, but you're not allowed to use Amazon's game engine (Lumberyard) for military/nuclear applications normally, but that restriction is suspended specifically if there's a zombie apocalypse</p><p><a href="https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/</a> Clause 47.10: "<em>this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization</em></p><p><em></em>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3skb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OldGodsAndNew</a></p>
Most Ridiculous<p>I recall a major airline in the pioneer days won an award for most ridiculous TOS to simply look up a flight arrival time on their web site.</p><p>If I recall, it was a 22,000 word document that an analysis said was written at a post graduate reading level. It states that you would, in perpetuity, never use that computer to connect to any other airline's website.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyb3lm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NightMGR</a></p><p>What were they planning on doing about it if you broke the contract? Send a hitman after you or something?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/go1hpi5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChungusFungus303</a></p>
Citibank Is Serious Business<p>When I started work for Citibank, they asked me to sign two documents;</p><ol><li>promising I would never use encryption for any purpose other than Citibank's for as long as I live.</li><li>promising to obey the laws of all 196 countries on earth that Citibank operates in.</li></ol><p>So obviously I looked at my cubicle mate and stoned her to death for exposing her wrists, and I can no longer use HTTPS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyy0u3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">beachbbqlover</a></p>
Death is scary. It brings the unknown of the great beyond, whether that's heaven, some other afterlife, or total nothingness, depending on what you believe.
But there is one perk that comes with death: total control of your funeral.
Let the Games Begin<p>"I got a request for the deceased to be dressed up in a Where's Waldo costume and to have 12 other identical caskets in the room so the guests could try to guess where he was by opening coffins randomly."</p><p>"Each guest was to play this guessing game and then sit down before the next person could enter so everyone could play the game."</p><p>"Problem was not everyone wanted to play the game.....super odd but they paid a lot for it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnylmi3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ramontgomery</a></p>
Dead In a Faraway Galaxy<p>"The deceased was a huge Star Wars fan and left explicit instructions for his funeral."</p><p>"As funeral organist, I was requested to play Star Wars principal themes on the grand pipe organ for prelude music, processional and recessional."</p><p>"As I once described, pall bearers were dressed in main characters costumes and "Obi-Wan Kenobi" gave an inspired eulogy, drawing upon memorable moments from the series."</p><p>"Using 'full organ' (all the stops out) for climatic moments, I played the <em>Imperial March</em> at the conclusion of the funeral before those in attendance departed for the cemetery for the committal."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxielt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p>
A True Celebration of the Life He Lived<p>"I'm a florist, and I've created some unique tributes out of fresh flowers, and more."</p><p>"I made a putting green two feet across, complete with ball, tee and a club for an avid golfer. I constructed a fish out of various blooms and leaves, placed by a lakeside foliage spray. I've made rainbows and black and white themed arrangements. I put a lot of heart into memorial pieces."</p><p>"A few years ago, I was helping a family decide on their tributes for a much-loved man. The wife stressed he was known for his big blue Giant Eagle truck, and most of their friends were from the driver's union."</p><p>"I volunteered myself for a watercolor picture of the truck around which I would design a floral spray. It took four attempts, but I was finally happy, and framed it."</p><p>"Two days later, I received the most wonderful letter from his wife, and said that everyone agreed it was the most appropriate and important statement about his life. It will sit on her mantle for the rest of her life."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnyf7h2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">cavepainted</a></p>
Friends Til the Very End<p>"My family owns a grave digging business as well as lawn and garden statues, someone purchased an 8ft tall gorilla statue."</p><p>"My dad delivered it and asked what they were going to do with it and where they were putting it, the guys said their friends dying wish was to be stuffed up this concrete gorillas a**, and that's what they did."</p><p>"They drilled a whole in the a** and put their buddies ashes inside"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnytm2i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hayhay428</a></p>
Always Watching<p>"My husband found out they can make gems out of cremains, and now he wants to be reduced to 2 jewels seated in his own eye sockets."</p><p>"I don't want a skull! I don't want to own his skull! I don't want him to watch me with his evil gem eyes!"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gny5vcy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ParadiseSold</a></p>
For Science<p>"My own will requests that my right eye be removed, preserved and delivered to my oncologist in Miami for him to do with whatever he sees fit."</p><p>"Hopefully as a teaching aid to new optometry students, but if he wants to use it for pranks I'm totally fine with that too."</p><p>"I survived a very unusual eye cancer and they had to do all kinds of experimental things to repair it when all was done. I jokingly suggested I donate it to science when I went and he said that was an amazing idea. So, here you go."</p><p>"I hope whoever deals with my corpse has fun with that request."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxp6ri?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">zerbey</a> </p>
One Last Look<p>"My wife's uncle asked the funeral director when he dies he would like his eyes open in the casket during his viewing."</p><p>"His entire life everyone commented on his big baby blue eyes and he wanted them open for people to see one last time."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnycdzg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Agreeable-Scratch424</a></p>
One Last F-You<p>"One rich guy hated his kids and didn't want them to get a cent of his wealth. He therefore wanted all his money to spent on a mausoleum for his coffin with a rose garden around it and the eternal upkeep thereof."</p><p>"He had the city council-approved architectural plans for the mausoleum included in his will and testament."</p><p>"He demanded in his will that the remaining funds, after construction, must go to a gardening service to maintain the rose garden and clean off the bird poop from his mausoleum in perpetuity until the money runs out in a few centuries."</p><p>"The mausoleum is in Cemetery de Saint Rambert outside Lyon, France."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxnk4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JingoisticJeremiah</a></p>
Utter Indifference<p>"My coworker was meeting a client who was picking up his mother's cremains. My coworker has the client sign a release, then hands him the urn."</p><p>The man immediately turns around and drops the urn into the trash can."</p><p>"My coworker is a 40 year funeral director veteran, and without missing a beat, he says, 'Sir, I can understand your strong feelings about your mother, but I cannot allow you to leave that here. What you do once you get out the door is up to you and God.' " </p><p>"Dude picked up the urn and left without a word."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnybff8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">keliez</a></p>
To Reflect What She Was Like, Or Never Did?<p>"My mom asked the embalmer to put a few stitches in my grandma's cheeks to give her a faint smile. </p><p>"At the time it seemed like an odd, even slightly morbid request, but 20+ years on, it's one of the only things I remember from her funeral. It was kind of lovely, actually."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnx79mi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fearless_Lab</a></p>
After we've watched a movie, it can be difficult to imagine the film as a project that took months or years to finally culminate into the product we see at the theater or on our television.
But it was built and hacked together, piece by piece.