A police officer's life is never boring, that's for sure! Imgur user CaptRawesome shared this story of his hilarious adventure recently, and we think it's awesome. Check out his account for more stories if you'd like.
About 2330 hours one evening my partner and I were dispatched to an apartment complex for a disturbance. When we arrived and knocked on the door to the apartment from which the disturbance was coming, we were met with sudden and immediate silence. "That's odd." we thought.
Eventually someone answered the door and we were invited inside. We spoke with the two occupants, Guy and Lady. It was Guy's apartment, and Lady was - well - visiting. (That's actually what started the disturbance, Lady's husband was standing in the parking lot shouting and yelling like a lunatic. Apparently he was lodging a general protest to Lady having gone to "visit" Guy.)
While inside, I noticed several things that I couldn't ignore. Bottles and bottles of prescription pills, bongs, pipes, prep trays, baggies of marijuana, rolling papers. Everywhere, just laying everywhere. The prescription bottles didn't belong to Guy or Lady, and neither could give a good example of where they came from.
My partner on the call got his K9 from the car and returned to the apartment for a sniff search. He located several more items tucked under furniture, inside cabinets, etc. Then the dog got a scent, turned 90 and bolted into one of the two bedrooms. But not into the bedroom with the beds and clothes in it, no - the dog shot into the empty bedroom.
Continue to the next page for the rest of the story.
In an otherwise completely empty 12' x 12' room stood two large boxes against the back wall in opposite corners. In a previous life they held 55" CRT tvs. (For you young kids, TVs weren't always flat, they used to be more square-ish, and much heavier).
Inside one of these boxes, filled to the brim in a $5-Walmart-discount-bin kinda fashion, were DVDs. All Porn. Every last one. Porn. Not VHS tapes, but DVDs. Clearly this was the discard pile because-
The other box was also full to the top with an unbelievable amount of porn. This was clearly the draw-from pile because this box contained only new unwrapped DVDs that were neatly stacked row upon row upon row upon row upon endless row; inside the box- all the way to the top.
The dog then hit on the closet. I walked over and opened the closet expecting more dope or paraphernalia inside. Boy was I wrong.
Remember this gif? Yeah this happened to me, except it wasn't tupperware and mugs. It was USED SEX TOYS!
Continue to the next page to find out what happens next.
Rubber dongs, vibrators, strap-ons, double-ended dildos, butt plugs, anal beads, anal-Tennis balls (!?!), wigs, women's costumes, masks, MORE DVDS, floggers, and anything else I'd ever seen, or heard of, came tumbling out in an tsunami of sex equipment.
Surfing the wave wanton wank gear was a foam sex doll, knees pulled to chest, open for all to see - but missing her head. Yep her head had been purposely removed. All this came tumbling out of the closet burying me nearly knee deep in silcone, rubber, leather and nylon.
I'm not mad at Guy for having the single most impressive collection of sex toys ever assembled by a single person outside of the San Fernando Valley. Or at least I wouldn't have if he had ever bothered to wash them off after use!
So there I stand, knee deep in rotten, greasy, used sex toy hell. I should have had a lot of questions running through my mind: "How much of an investment does this represent? "Is he part of a swap-n-exchange program?" "What is that smell?"
But only one jumped out: "Where the hell is the doll's head, and WHY is it missing?"
No sooner had I thought it - the severed doll's head tumbled off it's precarious perch on the top shelf of the closet and landed on the pile like a horrendous cherry on top of Satan's sex sundae.
How does this story end? Continue to the next page.
I was beginning to wrap my mind around the sheer volume of silicone and rubber that had nearly knocked me off my feet, and taking solace in the fact that at least I wouldn't have to search it by hand, that's what the K9 is for.
About that time the dog took one whiff of the f*ck fumes rolling off that pile of vaseline, plastic, baby oil and shame; and that sonofagun turned tail and ran right out the apartment!
All I heard as he dashed through the living room was Lady asking "Where's the dog going?" My partner split to go catch his dog, leaving me alone with the doll and her accouterments.
The only thing I found in that entire closet that hadn't been inside someone or had someone inside it, was a Gene Simmons bong. Guy wouldn't make eye contact with me when I went back into the living room, can't say I blame him.
Guy and Lady went to jail that night. I really wanted a shower and a fresh uniform, but I had to book Guy and Lady into intake. So I had to settle for a hand-sanitizer bath.
Let me tell you something - you can't put enough alcohol scrub in your eyes to un-see a heavily used headless sex doll come rushing at you out of a closet in the middle of the night.
Later 'taters.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.