7-year-old Bea is blowing up the internet. Why? Because she's way funnier than you. Don't believe me? Check out the proof below. Her mom, @kellyoxford, has tweeted out snippets of their conversations for everyone to enjoy.
7yr old "Do women get their periods on weekends too?"— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 20, 2015
7yr old mutters to herself "Jesus Christ"
7yo just discovered Beyonce's album on her iPod also includes the movie.— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) June 28, 2016
"I can watch this when I poop!"
7YO just asked if there is such a thing as weed ice cream, if you ever wondered what it's like to raise kids in LA.— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) December 19, 2015
Husband to 7yr old daughter: Do you want to go see the Hunger Games?
7yr old, very dryly: I don't even know what that is.
7YO, while cooking dinner:— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) April 29, 2016
"Salmon is so beautiful. I feel bad for eating it. I should be vegetarian." Sighs, "But meat tastes too good."
7yo just managed to make me feel young then old in one sentence, "Mom, you were alive when Michael Jackson was alive?!"— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) February 23, 2016
Continue the laughs on the next page!
7yo "Is Ellen a girl? Is she a transfer girl?"— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) December 30, 2015
Me "She's lesbian."
7yo "So basically just gay. Got it. Like all my friends moms."
7yo "They have night cameras on Survivor? Guess they can't have sex"— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 5, 2016
Me "I can't believe you said that.
7yo "I can't believe I did either."
Waiter: You finished dessert fast; want anything else?— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) May 22, 2016
Bea 7yo: No thanks (Whispers to self) kinda weird to ask that after serving dessert.
7YO singing along to Beyonce's HOLD UP, stops, whispers..— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) April 28, 2016
"I'm so glad Beyonc wrote this song. I'm so glad her husband cheated on her."
"Tupac is dead?!" - my poor 7YO learning life's hard lessons tonight.— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) February 13, 2016
More hilarity on the next page!
Me "Bea, you're seven, you don't need a purse. When I was seven I didn't have one."— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) April 23, 2016
Bea "You lived in Alberta!!!"
7YO telling our pro Trump, US border immigration officer, "Trump's Mexico wall is racist" Is the closest I'll get to a cocaine high again.— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) June 19, 2016
1 good piece of news today:— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 24, 2016
7yo told me there is a secret war going on between muffins and cupcakes & I haven't stopped thinking about it.
7yr old "what's a hooker"— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) August 23, 2015
Me "someone who has sex for money"
7yr old "oh god, that's a terrible job"
630am. 7yr old whispering to self & sorting candy in her room:— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 1, 2015
"What? A little toy? Someone gave me a little toy instead of candy?...shit."
7yr old daughter walked in the room, casually confirmed, "You have to have a backstory to why you're evil, right?" And walked out.— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 24, 2016
7yo says things to shock me. She just said, "I'd like to go to heaven but you can't smoke weed there." I stayed cool, this will escalate.— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 17, 2016
James "Bea, you can't watch Kardashians, it's the worst garbage for your brain."— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) November 9, 2015
Bea "I know, that's why I love it."
7yr olds know.
"Why do they beep out swears on tv? They show people getting hurt & swearing isn't worse than that." - 7yo daughter— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 18, 2016
Way to go, Bea!
Pssst... don't forget to share!