Creativity comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes, it's art. Sometimes, it's mathematical prowess and the ability to see the world in numbers. Sometimes, it's the answers to your French quiz that you wrote on the bottom of a coffee cup.
Here, teachers and students alike share epic stories of ultra-creative cheating. If you'd like to read more, check out the source link at the end of the article.
Comments may be edited for clarity.
I would write down notes in pretty handwriting on bright post-its and blatantly stick them on the wall near where I would be sitting to take the test. The teachers who taught the class would be out in the halls in case there was a problem with the exam, so the observers would be unfamiliar with the subject, and assume the notes were someone's project that got put up on display. I did this for every single exam in year 11 and wasn't caught once.
I had a teacher who would grade part of your exams based on your lab partners exam grade. The girl I was paired with just didn't get chemistry.
It was multiple choice, and I'd signal the answers to her through pencil clicks and finger taps. Written portions were more difficult, so I just learned to replicate her handwriting, would fill out her answers and mine simultaneously, then substitute the exam book I filled out as she was turning it in.
She aced chemistry, I aced chemistry. Still friends to this day.
There was a girl in my high school who graduated ranked 3rd our class. She was always the first one in the room on test day. Every time she'd finish a test, she'd erase her entire desk top. I did not notice until I had to sit next to her, but she'd write notes/answers on her desk before the test and then erase them after she handed it in. No one ever believed that she'd cheated because she was always so well behaved, would snitch on anyone out of line, and was such a quiet little mouse that they thought it impossible that she would do such a thing. Bullcrap, I was on to you.
About 10 years ago, during a final exam, I noticed an LED board attached to the wall was scrolling math formulas. Students had installed the banner-board under the actual scoreboard in the gym. Even though it was large you could barely see it. The only reason I was able to notice it was because I was walking around squinting (I left my glasses in my office). The board was very dim, but when you squinted the numbers/symbols just jumped out.
We never officially caught the person that installed it. The entire class had to redo a 4 hr exam.
During high school none of my teachers spoke or knew Spanish, but almost everyone took Spanish class. I would write down notes in Spanish in a notebook with a clear cover and title the page "Spanish homework" and just have the notebook on the floor right next to me. Never got caught.
When I taught fifth grade, I caught one of the kids trying to teach his friends alphabet sign language. He learned it from his high school aged sister, who apparently used it with all of her friends during exams.
I thought it was clever, and encouraged the kids to learn it - but I was a little more careful of seating placement during the couple of multiple choice quizzes they did that semester.
At the university where I used to study, the court transcripts of every academic major offence is made available to the public.
While I was bored in class, I went through a lot of these. Best one I found:
There was a guy maintaining 3 serious relationships with 3 different girls. Those 3 girls were covering 1-2 courses each - they would write essays, exams, attend lectures, attend tutorials, do everything on his behalf. He would tell each of his gfs that he was under a lot of stress and he would have more time to dedicate to the relationship if they could help him out. After almost the bulk of his education was completed (this guy literally almost got a degree), two of the girls finally found out and eventually discovered the third girl, and all three girls disclosed the extent of the cheating (suffering academic penalties themselves) in court. The guy was expelled and had all his credits turned over, but damn I can only imagine how much dedication he put into this scheme.
In math: creating a program on a ti84 calculator that consists of nothing but answers. The program doesn't do anything, but if you go into edit, it's just essentially a notepad you can type into. Need to memorize equations? No problem! Bonus points for archiving the program and then pulling it out of archive after the test starts, so it looks like their are no programs in the calculator.
I had a clear mechanical pencil. Part of the body was shaped so that a portion of it acted like a magnifying glass. I inserted a blank piece of paper with just a narrow slit that lined up with that side. I'd then print the answers in super small font and attach it to the eraser. Just rotating the eraser would pull a different line up.
I had a class in which the teacher always gave tests from the back of her "Teachers Edition" textbook. Some bright kid orders the same teachers edition book from the internet. He shared the answers, too.
I was TA that helped the professor during tests. The student brought in a vitamin water. No big deal it was a final. Halfway through the test, the professor noticed it was weird that the student kept look at the bottle, twisting it around but not really drinking. The student had printed a vitamin water label but with all of the texts parts in the label being helpful reminders for the exam. The professor thought it was so ingeniously creative that the student was not reported to the academic board but received a 0 for the final.
This one kid spent the entire night before reading over everything he'd learned. When he showed up, he already had all the info stored in his brain. There wasn't anything I could do about it. Can you believe it?!
Not a teacher, but my teacher gave us index cards once that we could put all our notes on.
I found a pair of 3D glasses and two pens that were the same colors as the lenses. If you put on the glasses and closed one eye, the marks from the pen that was the same color as the open eye's lense would be filtered out. It effectively doubled the space I had to write on.
Miraculously, my teacher was A-okay with it.
When I was in grade 8, we had a math test on Halloween. I went to school as a cardboard box and wrote a whole bunch of notes and formulas on the inside. My plan was to turtle when the teacher wasn't looking and it worked like a charm. I also won the classroom costume contest!
Each corner of the desk represents a letter...a, b, c, d...multiple choice test. We'd signal the number we needed help with, and my friend would place his hand near a corner to signal the answer. True and false was open hand palm down for true, fist for false.
In the 90s, a student I knew set the address book in his digital watch with the test answers and set it to scroll.
Not a teacher, but in one class, someone put answers on the actual wall in the classroom. People got up, looked at it, and then sit back down to write them down. This happened repeatedly.
Teacher never noticed.
I'm a teacher, but this is MY cheating method. At GCSE languages you could have a dictionary, mine was on the list of allowed dictionaries but it had a few sheets of explanation in it. I used the schools computers to print mock letters, key answers, descriptions in the same font and format and then I unbound it, slid in my new pages on top of the explanation pages and then rebound it. It just looked like everyone else's battered dictionary.
I went to university with didn't finish his essay on time, so he stapled 7 blank pages to the back of the 2 actual pages he'd managed to write so far and handed that in. He then went to the library that afternoon, smashed out the rest of the essay, waited until the department had closed for the evening, broke back into the office and filing cabinet, found his essay and replaced the blank pages with the finished ones.
Got away with it too, the clever dude.
In high school a few friends and I tried to learn morse code to help each other on test but it didn't work out how we wanted it to. We found more success placing math formulas around the room in plain sight about an hour or two before a test.
I'm a proctor. It's literally my entire job to ensure that students don't cheat. You can't have a drink at your desk because of that printed-out-label-with-answers one. You can't use your own calculator unless I've inspected it first. You can't wear a hat or baggy sleeves without showing me if you've got anything in there. If you're too fidgety I can investigate you. If you're not fidgety enough I can investigate you. There are some exams we proctor where they're so gung-ho about making sure cheating never happens that we have to look at your ears, your tattoos, the inside of your glasses. It's ridiculous.
All that being said, I'm vigilant about all of this. If someone still managed to sneak a cheat past me, knowing that it would absolutely get them expelled from school, maybe I'd be willing to look the other way. If you're that desperate to cheat, you clearly need it more than I need to uphold some weird moral code.
In 7th grade I found that the way my teacher graded scantrons was by putting a clear projector sheet with the correct circles filled in on top of our copy. If there was a wrong answer there would be two circles and she'd mark you wrong. For whatever reason everyone else in the class was bent on answering every question but Id just leave the ones I wasnt sure about blank. Since there was only bubble filled in I got a perfect grade on every test!
For the first 3 weeks of school I did random things like stare at my sleeves for 15 minutes during tests, stare at my desk for 15 minutes straight etcetera. The teacher thought I was cheating at first but when she came to look she couldn't find anything. After a while she stopped checking and just assumed I was weird. THEN I wrote my answers on my sleeves and desk and nobody noticed.
To the students looking for ideas in this article nice try.
Do your homework!
This was not necessarily creative, but intelligent: I had a few classmates who knew Morse code. The teacher never caught unto what was going on. They all got bad grades because none of them studied for the test. It still is the biggest question in my life, if you're dedicated and disciplined enough to learn Morse code, why not just study for a geometry test???
Writing the answers on their nails
Stretch an elastic band over a big book and write useful info on it. Then place it around your wrist, it looks like a grubby rubber band but when stretched out contains loads of information.
I did this a few times....
We got a copy of our 100 question multiple choice history final out of our teachers desk. We went home and got all the answers laid out in ABCDBBDCCAA etc. format. At the time "Got Milk?" was a big advertisement campaign and one of our friends had a silk screen machine for an art project (this was a rich kid school). We were all really into surfing as a hobby and the teachers knew this, so we made several shirts that said "Got Surf?" on the back of them in large font then right underneath that wording just rows and rows of the letters "s, u, r, f" where "s" corresponded to "a" (as a multiple choice answer) and "u" corresponded to "b" etc. So rows of "SSRFFRUUSFRRU" etc.
We all wore these shirts on the day of the final and sat in a row behind each other in class so we all could just look at the person's back that was seated in front of us. We just gave an extra shirt to the guy who wasn't in cahoots with us who sat in the first chair of the row. We were kinda seen as the "cool guys" so we gave it to him and got him to wear it as though it was part of this "cool shirt thing", since we were all wearing the same shirt too. We all agreed to just get like 5 random questions wrong, so it wasn't too shady........ I know this may seem kinda far fetched but I swear it's true. When I snagged the copy of the test, we had like a week to answer all the questions and devise a plan that was fool proof. It was a bit of work, but we were stoners and surfers and idiots who put more effort into this rather than just studying. Oh well. Needless to say we all got A's.
I made a system with my friends in 8th grade, my teacher then would format his tests where it starts out with a page of multiple choice, then in the back some short answer questions and maybe a diagram or something (Science).
We made it so we would move our foot up and down and the amount of times ='d a number, 1 up and down = A, 2=B etc. If no one knew the answer no one did anything.
We did it a few times and made sure to got one or two questions wrong and it worked well. It only works if all of your friends who are in on it sit close together.
Also my brother once was wearing his Apple Watch and had sent notes or something to it. It was pretty new at the time so at the start of an exam the teachers took his phone but not his Apple Watch. He went to the bathroom and got all his notes and read them, then went back.
One girl also took some masking tape, similar to the colour of the desk and would tape it on the desk and write formulas on them, but she got caught since she's an idiot and used duck tape one time.
One of my fellow students literally brought the entire answered exam into class with her. Our teacher told us the two or three written exam questions a few days in advance so that we could study/prepare, and we were to regurgitate our best answer to each in essay form in about 2 hours. Each student was to bring in a blank 'blue book' notebook to write in. This girl just wrote hers the night before. She sat there for 90 minutes fake writing and then turned it in when enough other students had done so. I noticed the fake writing, and was more mad that I hadn't thought of it than mad about the cheating - she did as much prep work as any of us, and took a risk of getting caught just because she didn't trust her short-term memory to write the essays again. I didn't turn her in, but I told her I knew. She felt really guilty about it and I thought that was punishment enough.
For German class in high school, I invented my own sort of Runic character set to replace normal letters, and then before a test I would draw an elaborate fantasy/scifi scene on the cover of my notebook (which would just be sitting on my desk during the test), embedding all the German words I needed to have memorized into the scene using my Runic characters. So all the verb declensions would be written on dudes' swords and shields or tattooed on the dragon etc.
The teacher never had a clue, and neither did I, really - I now don't speak German fluently.
This is a story about my friend and I.
I was terrible at math (probably have undiagnosed dyscalculia), but was pushed into advanced classes regardless due to my mom- she taught at my high school and insisted. Plus, I had to start cheating in math around late elementary or get severely punished (swearing at me, yelling for ages, no computer for months in the golden age of IM, isolating me from any friends), because I just could not make the grade. Mom insisted on not even a B+ being good enough. So, my grades were decent enough once I figured out workable systems to cheat.
I was in waaaaaay over my head by age 14 or so. But I couldn't stop or I would wreck my GPA for college in a non-math field. Around that time, I also had a problem with my brother constantly trying to read anything I wrote (I did fiction and poetry and sometimes journaled).
I grew up bilingual and so I looked into what languages have different alphabets. Passed over Arabic and Hindi because they lacked some letter equivalents common in English. I chose Russian.
I started writing anything I could in a simple cipher. I replaced each English letter with the approximate Cyrillic equivalent, modifying slightly to make letters that fit "c" and "w", which don't exist in that alphabet. It took maybe two weeks, until I could write in it fluently.
I realized the cheating potential, and taught my best friend. We would either look up math answers and formulas online for similar problems as would be on the test, as close as we could get them, and use that to answer, or she, who was a solid A- student, would have the same class before me, use scratch paper to cipher down the answers. Shove it in her bra, then pass it to me in passing period.
I would then relabel the paper as "Russian practice", write some extra nonsense on and around the page so it didn't look the same, and drop it on the floor by my desk.
She is a first generation immigrant, so she needed help in spelling and grammar tests. I am freakishly good at those. Same method in reverse.
By the time precalc rolled around, we even modified the hell out of the alphabet to accommodate mathematical symbols. Nobody at the school even taught or could read Russian. I was known for being smart, math aside, and would just tell people, "Oh, we are learning on our own." I even got some exchange students to teach us basics because we loved languages and needed to look legit.
I programmed my calculator with equations. Eventually, I taught myself the programming language for my calculator and instead programmed it to solve the equations for me.
I'm now a professional programmer.
I was unable to remember all the trigonometric formulas, so I decided to put up a chart with trigonometric formulas in place of binary codes (which was already hanging on the wall) chart in my class.
Guess what, I got away with it.
This is a story from someone I know. He told us that in university, he knew people that would go to the bathroom midway through an exam where they had hidden their notes or stuck them on the back of the door.
People in my school would write answers on an index card and tape it to the back of their ties.... it worked really well.
I got the inspiration from Pokemon Emerald. I Taught myself Braille, poked the letters through a line of tape and then stuck it to the bottom of the desk. Would just read it under the desk with my eyes on the test the whole time.
Not really a cheat, but a amusing story: For the dynamics and vibrations course in my final year engineering, we were allowed to bring anything. One guy brought in a bicycling wheel, which he used to verify his answers by conducting rotational torque experiments at his desk during the exam.
Thanks for reading!
Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
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Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
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