Some people stay relatively the same their entire lives. It's as though you could have mapped out their trajectory from the moment you met them in grade five. Some people, on the other hand, do a complete 180 after high school. These are the people that make high school reunions extra sweet.
Thanks to these folks for sharing their incredibly awkward stories with us. If you'd like to read more, check out the source link at the end of the article.
Comments may be edited for clarity.
A girl I went to school with was always picked on because her parents were poor. Her mother worked at a minimum wage job and her dad didn't work at all. To be honest, I don't know how people even noticed her enough to bully her, as she was always quiet and came in and out of class unnoticed.
At school she always... I hate to say this, took the bullying and never once ever complained, that's the best way I can describe it. I remember her as always of average looks and intelligence while we were at school and very skinny. Once we left school everybody went their separate ways.
Last year she surfaced on Facebook with a family, and a degree from Cambridge university. It turns out she had joined the army, went through officer training at Sandhurst, and is a captain in the Army Air Corps. She has pictures of her tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. The quiet girl who got bullied was a very intelligent tough person, who I suppose we all wanted be ourselves. It was nice to see.
My high school boyfriend was the captain of the soccer team, held the record for the 2 mile run, was on student council and was voted Best Character.
He dropped out of three different colleges, law school, and the ESL program in Korea he was trying to teach. Hes also done time in prison for sexual assault against a minor.
I will always wonder what happened.
Not my batchmate but an upperclassman. I used to go to a public high school where everyone was poor or middle class, absolutely no rich kids. This is in a province in a third world country, so when I say poor, I mean down and out dirt-poor. I made friends with this older guy who I would always see on my walk to school. When I asked him where he lived he would always point up to the mountain. I always thought of it as a joke but when he didn't show up for class after a really bad storm, rumors spread that his family's house in the mountains got destroyed. He stopped school after that and I haven't talked to him since.
Turns out, he had finished high school the next year and applied to a prestigious University in the country. He took a finance course but had to stop a few times because of financial issues. He graduated, 6 years later, with honors.
Now, he's a regional office manager for a bank and he also owns a small travel agency. The scrawny kid from the mountain became a big time businessman.
This one girl was super smart, in all the advanced placement classes, on school council and in all the smart kid clubs, always picked for any special outings like campus visits and symposiums. She came from a pretty well off family, successful parents and all.
Now? She's working at the local subway with track marks on her arms. I really didn't expect that from her.
There was a girl in my class who was really quiet, shy, always dressed super conservatively, never came close to breaking the rules - a bit of a Hermione type.
I bumped into her at a class reunion, having not seen her for like 7 years and she was totally different. Covered in tattoos and piercings and dreadlocks. Almost didn't recognize her.
Super smart guy at my high school got into meth and more, and ended up dropping out. He was addicted to crack for several years and then became a born again cowboy Christian.
Super nerdy guy who got bullied a lot is killing it in his career and super confident. It was great to see him so happy, I didn't interact with him much but he's doing well despite the crap he faced.
Class valedictorian went to an ivy then another then was almost killed by an abusive partner. Scary how a tough and smart person (or anyone) can end up in that situation.
There are at least half a dozen people in my class that have killed themselves or overdosed on drugs
I graduated in 2013, 4 of these people have lost their lives to drugs. All of them were from middle class families in the suburbs.
One guy, legitimate child prodigy/genius type, in a super-competitive STEM program. As in, most of us are in 11th grade doing calculus and he's about twelve, having skipped a grade or two and then is sitting in on a higher grade just for math class. His parents had a professor from a major university tutoring him after school, pushing him to do math competitions, the whole nine yards. I don't think he got much of a say in it, it was what they'd been having him do since the age of three or so.
His senior year, he'd had enough. He dropped out of the STEM magnet program and switched to the creative and performing arts magnet program. His physique was very much a computer programmer's more than a dancer, and he had zero experience with song and dance.
Well it turns out, he graduated, went to a small private West Coast school instead of Harvard/Yale like his parents had planned, majored in musical theater. After a year or two, that changed to journalism. He took a leave of absence from school two years in to convert to Mormonism (did I mention his parents were hard-core atheists?) Even though Mormons don't make converts do mission trips, he did a mission trip. To India. For longer than the usual mission.
The last I'd heard from him, he was married and having lots of kids somewhere on the West Coast. He's a fantastic guy, but if you'd asked me in 11th grade where I thought he'd end up, it would not have been anywhere close to "failed musical theater major and Mormon missionary."
In high school this kid was the typical super athlete, alpha male who had a mean streak but always seemed to direct it towards the openly gay students.
Came back to our 10 year reunion and he was about as gay as could be. He came out after we graduated and he started college where he met his husband. He actually went as far as to apologize to everyone he bullied.
I stayed in my hometown till I was 24 - six years ago and 4 years since I visited. So most of the changes I've seen have been through Facebook.
The biggest change would be in a girl - let's girl her Sara - who I'd been friends with since we were 9. She was always odd but that eccentricity turned into full on madness. She got heavily into drugs and by 16 she got into sex work and a whole array of other unexpected things.
Anyhow, around 22 she had a kid and totally turned her life around. Before I moved, I bumped into her and we hung out a few times. One night we got drunk at our local and I told her how proud I was of her and I said: "I can't even imagine what you went through..." and she grabbed my hand and the pain in her eyes was like shards of glass into my heart. She just said "You have no idea. No idea..." and that was enough to indicate the level of trauma she experienced. She's 30 now and is still eccentric as heck but is a devoted mum and a successful local photographer and special event planner. Major kudos to her.
Super senior with a 1.1 GPA, at the ten year he was finishing up a joint MBA/JD at Harvard
A girl I sat next to in homeroom for 11th and 12th grades was always really mousy and quiet, long brown hair, same jeans & T-shirt every day. At the five year reunion, there's this totally gorgeous lady in black, high-heeled boots, dyed blonde hair in a razor cut...it was her. No one could believe it.
I was lucky enough to move in the same social circles as she did for a few years and get to know her better, she was always a really cool person but it was nice to see her come out of her shell.
Wasn't a reunion but... A guy I went to school with was always popular. The girls always liked him, he was super smart, funny, athletic... He was a golden child. I on the other hand was very nerdy. After college, a few years later I went to a party back home. I ran into this guy at it and it was great seeing him. The first thing he said was "I don't know why I'm here, this party is too cool for me." I was aghast. The smoothest, coolest, most confident guy I had ever met was now this self doubting timid guy. We talked for awhile and I think he secretly was super nerdy and shy, but back then he forced himself to fake it. In college it seemed he finally was okay with just being himself. We started talking about old classmates and he said one of the nicest things I ever heard. He told me he didn't really keep up with anyone, but I was one of only a handful of people he was ever interested in running into over the years. He's still a great guy and he's one of the most intelligent people you will ever meet, and I gotta say... He may not be "cool" anymore but he's awesome in my book.
Not a standard reunion, but those don't really happen in the UK, as far as I know.
Long story short, a guy got expelled for punching me in the face and breaking my nose. It was just a petty squabble between two teenage boys. I think we were no older than 15 when it happens. Kid stuff.
Anyway, I since moved away from that town and hadn't seen the guy since. Cut to about 4, maybe 5 years after the incident. I'm visiting back home and decide to go out with some of my friends from high school. We're in the smoking area of a bar when the guy who broke my nose recognizes one of my friends. They start talking without him noticing I'm there. Eventually he notices me.
There's a long pause, it feels like forever but it's probably only a second or two. Is he going to hit me? Is he going to be angry? I go with my gut, I'm somewhat of a pacifist so I extend my arms to go in for a hug. He does the same. Somewhat of a beautiful moment. He apologized, we both agreed it was dumb, we were kids, people grow up. He then proceeded to buy drinks for me and my guys the rest of the night.
All in all, for a nights worth of Grey Goose vodka, I'd take another punch to the face.
My old friend in high school was a white girl who would dye her bright blonde hair black, she wore dark purple lipstick and lots of black eye liner, she sometimes stole her mom's gun to carry around, and she dated total douche guys.
Fast forward 10 years later: she stopped dying her hair and let it grow out to her waist, she doesn't wear makeup anymore, wears nerdy glasses, dresses like a hippie with long flowing skirts and beaded jewelry, she's very mystical and earthy, and only dates hipster guys with beards. She's also a school teacher.
She came this close to having a shootout with a girl in high school but you'd never believe it if you saw her because of how sweet/hippie/angelic she looks now. What a transformation.
She came from a very abused background and I think the "gangster" persona was to protect herself. The hippie person she is now is probably closer to her real personality because she was a good person inside, just angry, confused, and hurting very badly.
I met this guy, Allen, in my freshman year. I became friends with him. He was always in the school garden picking up caterpillars/worms/ants and making compost bins and ant farms. He was a little weird, little quiet, but a nice dude.
He was also really small, like 5'5", 100 lbs. He got picked on a LOT. He never really got angry about it though, just kept quiet about it and did his thing. I always liked him.
He stayed the same pretty much all thru high school. I lost touch with him after he and his family moved for his dad's job in junior year.
Fast forward to a class reunion, after college and everything. I was catching up with some friends and walking around, when I heard someone yell, "HEY [my name]!!!!"
I turned around and saw this hulking 6 foot, 230 pound running back looking guy coming at me. I was like "heyyyyyyyyyyyyy dude, whats up?"
Scary guy: "IM GOOD HOW ARE YOU MAN??? LONG TIME NO SEE"
Me: "I'm sorry, who are you?"
Scary guy: : "IT'S ALLEN!!"
Me: "WHAT THE????"
It turns out puberty finally hit him, and then he joined the Marines. The change was not only physical, but the way he carried himself, his demeanour, all of it just shouted discipline and confidence.
Oh, and the kid who used to bully him still lives in his mom's basement.
Not someone else, but this is my story.
I was a burnout stoner in high school.
Played in a metal/punk band.
Skipped school to get high and skate all day.
Cheated my way through most of my classes (except art and history, which I enjoyed)
Graduated near the bottom of my class.
Got married way too early.
Toured for a few years making a living as a musician (living the dream).
Got divorced for being a lousy husband and a cheater.
Spent a few years working for Walmart with my face down in a pile of cocaine.
Lost my house and destroyed my credit.
Moved in with mom.
Met an awesome girl (with kids).
Spent a few years toiling away at jobs I hated.
Straightened my arse out and finally "got real" with the fact that I'm headed nowhere.
Went to school to become an EMT, and spent some time volunteering to try to give back to my community.
Was encouraged to continue my EMS education, and became a paramedic.
Started working full time in EMS about 4 years ago.
I'm now in the process of finishing my degree to become an educator and hopefully teach others what I have learned and share my story.
I'm in the process of building my first home on a 10 acre lot, where I intend to grow Christmas trees and harvest fresh honey, with proceeds from the sales going toward local children's homes and veteran advocacy groups.
Celebrating 12 years of solid and happy marriage (which at times has its ups and downs, but who doesn't?)
My oldest is graduating college next year.
My middle daughter finishes college the year after that, and my youngest just received an academic scholarship to college.
I currently have job offers from 3 other EMS agencies with great prospects, and I just received my first official "Save" pin for a patient I resuscitated a month ago, which I was also interviewed for on a local news station for due to the circumstances surrounding the call.
I am going to be moving my mother in with me once my new home is built so I can take care of her (she has significant health problems) and it makes me feel proud that I can give back to her.
My father and I have finally begun to patch our rocky past, and I am finally in a position where I can encourage my wife to go to school to pursue her academic goals.
If you would have told me 25 years ago that this is where I would be in life at age 41, I would have told you you were out of your mind.
Life can change for the best.
It just takes 1 good decision a day to make it happen.
Don't let the choices you made yesterday determine the ones you make today.
I apologize if this comes off as bragging, I am honestly just overwhelmed with gratitude and happiness and wanted to share.
There was this kid in my high school who I would describe as "Alt-Right" before Alt-Right was a thing. He is one of those people who would taunt single moms, and would berate me for having Jewish heritage. He also had on his Trumpet Case a sticker that said "My Gun Has Killed Less People Than Ted Kennedy." Yeah.
Today he is super liberal with 4 adopted kids. Complete turnaround.
Classic tormentor—not a care in the world, blew off classes, barely graduated, antagonized everyone and was a bit of a bully. At the 10 year, he had gotten married, had three kids, established a stable career, bought a house, and was 100% striving to be a solid human being.
One of the most awesome moments of that reunion was realizing that 180-degree turnaround.
I went to school with a guy from a very wealthy family. As in, his parents once bought two $10m houses next to one another, just so they could knock them down and build a much larger house across the two blocks.
This guy was more or less the epitome of "never has to work a day in his life." Average grades in average classes, not particularly into sports, not at all nerdy but not a jock. Just a guy who hung out with all the right people, threw some epic parties, but was not really outstanding in any way other than he was loaded. He was a nice guy most of the time, with no particular inclination to anything and no indication of what would come. If anything, everything about him at school screamed the opposite of what happened. He and I shared a few classes together over a ten year period, and I saw nothing which would indicate he was destined for anything but a standard rich kid life.
He kind of dropped off the face of the earth after school and rocked up to our 10-year reunion looking completely different. He was taller and much bigger. As in stronger. Built like a brick, and really fit.
It turns out that he had left high school and earned a degree in strategic studies while training to be an officer in the SAS. He was in the army, in the SAS, for eight years and received some pretty serious decorations before leaving to head back to school and start a business. He now has a few master's degrees in a few different fields - everything from computer science to history.
Nearly ten years on from that and he's sold the cybersecurity firm he founded post-SAS for tens of millions of dollars and has returned to government service as a senior diplomat and foreign policy adviser. All without touching a cent of his parents' millions.
I would never have picked it. I'd have assumed his path would be something like a boring commerce/law degree and a career in the family business conglomerate, which he'd eventually take over. Fast cars and loose women.
I mean, there's still hope for him yet.
Not from my class (just turned 22) but my father said that one guy from his, and I'm quoting "gang", changed to a completely different species. He was the "wild" guy from his group, always getting into trouble and somehow never got caught. He even made one street vender pass for his dad so he could avoid a meeting with the principal. But at the class reunion he was THE perfect man, not a hair out of place. He joined the police department, he is a district general 2 kids both in military school. Whole new guy.
I went to a pretty big high school. There was this group of 10-20 girls in three-ish different groups. (circa late 90s). They were just regular kids. Got decent grades. Sometimes played sports. But were overly popular. Well liked but not really hitting it up with the fellas. Many of them went to dances alone or in their girl group.
Now? They hit that late 20s stride and are all now GORGEOUS. I think it has to do with the fact that they all enjoyed being active. But didn't play sports that FORCED many of us to be active. They ran because they liked it, went hiking because it was fun. Swam, joined yoga etc. So they stayed in shape.
About half are happily married with kiddos, the other half enjoying life. Owning businesses. Successful beautiful people. It's wild to see actually.
My high school bully used to be the toughest, most intimidating girl in school. At our reunion, me and another girl were sitting together and the bully asked us if we wanted a beer. We both said no because we were both (quite obviously) pregnant. When bully girl realized it, she was so embarrassed and apologized more than once. Later, bully girl was talking about her boss and what a scary lady she was. It made me realize that she was still just a scared kid. It felt kind of good since I grew into my self confidence and she left all of hers in high school.
One girl, kind of plain looking, gangly. She once set the football field on fire during a baton twirling half time show. She was always teased.
After high school, her father sold his business a chain of grocery stores most Americans would recognize. She got millions
At our 10 yr reunion, she is unrecognizable. 100 k in plastic surgery. Married a rich executive at her father's new company.
Absolutely gorgeous. I mean playboy bunny gorgeous and sweet as can be. Unbelievably happy.
There was this one guy who was a little awkward to say the least. Creepy, not the brightest academically, and was often the butt of every joke. Well it turns out that straight after high school, he borrowed a large sum of money from his grandpa and started a construction company. Company took off, and he is now living a very comfortable and flashy lifestyle.
I was laying tile at a guy's house who I went to school with, but was a year under me. His brother was in my older brother's grade. His older brother was the biggest drug guy I knew. He did any kind of drug he could since about 6th grade. He never graduated, his younger brother did and was not into drugs. I asked him what his older brother was doing now and he told me he owned his own insurance company. I could not believe it. A few years later I hear the younger brother had been left by his wife and he chased her down at a drive thru and shot at her car and she sped away, causing him to run after her whilst shooting. He was eventually killed by the police.
One of my good friends was a guy when we graduated, she is much happier now.
The smartest girl in my high school class earned a scholarship to a highly prestigious women's college in New England. She lasted one year. I tried to talk her into attending the state university, but then lost track of her. Turns out that she never finished college, met and married a man who's a minister, and ended up living in a small town in a rural area of a southern US State. Had ten kids and now sells herbal supplements and shakes to make ends meet while her husband preaches.
My graduating class (early 1980s) also had two people go through gender reassignment. One wasnt a surprise. The other person, there were no hints whatsoever. Best wishes to them both, I hope they find peace and happiness.
Thanks for reading!
Some years ago, I had to advise a college friend to stop chasing the girl he was interested in at the time. She'd already turned him down. Explicitly. At least two or three times.
He wouldn't take no for an answer and didn't see anything wrong with his behavior.
Perhaps he'd seen too many movies where the guy eventually breaks through the girl's defenses and essentially coerces her into going out with him?
Sadly, this is behavior that is tolerated and yes, normalized in our society.
People were keen to share other observations after Redditor EnoughSandwich_7057 asked the online community,
"What's toxic behavior that's considered socially acceptable?"
"Trying to make people..."
"Trying to make people drink/smoke or drink/smoke more when they have firmly declined the offer."
This is a big one that can have disastrous consequences. I am thankful I got a bunch of terrible nights out drinking out of my system by my early twenties.
Being drunk to the point that you're incoherent is horrible.
"I hate the whole prank thing..."
"I hate the whole prank thing, especially when it's done for likes. Scaring or humiliating people for attention just means you are a bad person."
I don't watch any of those videos and I don't understand what people see in them.
"Overworking yourself and then collectively judging others who don't do the same."
I had a coworker like that once, and she was a (minor) reason why I ended up leaving one job, but still a reason nonetheless.
"Taking your work with you..."
"Taking your work with you on vacation. I mean if you enjoy working then that's your thing, but I get sick of people like going through paperwork and having meetings while on vacation. Like dude, stop."
"Looking down on someone..."
"Looking down on someone because of their job."
When people say things like, "If fast food workers deserve $15 an hour..." that says a lot.
"Deliberately misunderstanding what someone is saying so as to make it easier to argue with them."
"People tend to give drunk people..."
"People tend to give drunk people misbehaving a pass if they regularly do it, 'Oh don't mind Tom, he's just drunk.' That just reinforces that toxic behavior."
You can say that again. How many times have you run into bad behavior like this while out and about, perhaps in a bar? It's not fun.
"The fact that we reward..."
"The fact that we reward customers for being wrong. The number of times my old manager would be so exhausted from arguing over the cost of a carton of milk with a customer that she would just give it to them is appalling."
"It reinforces this mentality because even if the customer KNOWS they're wrong they don't care because they will still win."
Annnnd this is why I don't miss retail. I'm fine where I am.
"Verbally abusing minimum wage employees who don't make the rules. If I could change the laws tomorrow I'd encourage businesses to ban pieces of garbage like these who can't operate in public."
"I'm here to do a job..."
"Toxic workplace behavior needs to be top of the list. I'm here to do a job and go home, not be harassed because you don't like some aspect of my personality. Managers who let this slide should be held personally liable."
When you stop and think about it, you realize we live in an imperfect society. It's astounding that some people just tolerate bad behavior and, in many cases, don't even see anything wrong with it.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Parents make mistakes. We want to believe that parents are doing there very best to raise their kids, but sometimes they do more harm than good.
Research into childhood trauma didn't actually begin until the 1970s, so we don't have as much knowledge about our mental health as adults as we might like.
However, a study that followed 1,420 from 1992 to 2015 found conclusive results about childhood trauma:
"'It is a myth to believe that childhood trauma is a rare experience that only affects few,' the researchers say."
"Rather, their population sample suggests, 'it is a normative experience—it affects the majority of children at some point.'"
"A surprising 60 percent of those in the study were exposed to at least one trauma by age 16. Over 30 percent were exposed to multiple traumatic events."
Not all of the things our parents do that were not so helpful technically classify as trauma, but it definitely has an effect on us as we get older.
Redditor Gooncookies asked:
"What could your parents have done better when raising you?"
Here's some of the ways that these Redditor's parents could have done better.
Rules to maintain purity.
"Would've been nice if my dad hadn't convinced me I had to behave in certain ways to maintain my innocence and purity."
"Catholic? I can relate."
"Nope. He's an atheist. He's actually extremely upset that I practice my (non Christian) religion. He just has some really weird ideas about having female children. Like, if I wore spaghetti straps when I was a child he'd say it was like he was living in a brothel."
Becoming afraid of failure.
"Encourage me to do more. I was never pushed to do anything. I mean, I get why some athletes are like 'my parents pushed me too hard where I hated it.' But I was never encouraged to go out for it try anything new. I played little league baseball and decided I thought it was a good idea to try and be a pitcher. I told my mom, but got the response along the lines of 'That's a hard position, and the whole game kind of rides on you, and if you mess up, everyone is going to blame you.' As a 37 year old I now see how that kind of stuff screwed my self esteem up and why I'm so afraid of failure as an adult."
"Same here. Also when I wanted to try anything new my mom was like 'But that's too hard for you, are you really sure you wanna do this? I don't think that you want nor can.' What's even worse than just forbidding, in this way the kid won't 'protest doing it' and get too low self esteem to do it."
"I'm really happy now that I overcame this after I moved out. I started doing all those things I wanted to do as a kid and I freaking love it (but kinda hate the fact that I haven't started earlier)."
"But even if I have a good relationship to my mom I hide a lot of things I do from her, since she still does the same and tries to convince me that I actually don't wanna do what ever I planned."
"But dear mom, sometimes you just need to try new things. if it wont work out who cares!? Even got a tattoo with 'What if I fall? Honey what if you fly?' to remind me if I should ever forget. (And no, my mum doesn't know about it)."
We're allowed to feel our emotions.
"Allow me to express my emotions, treat me like an actually person, actually interact with me instead of just ignoring me and them just telling me to kill myself."
"Wow. I'm so sorry. I think a lot of parents forget that their children are actually human beings."
"Its okay. I'm trying to work through some of that trauma, its easier said than done."
Interest is nice.
"They could have shown more of an interest in my mental health and education."
"I didn't get help for my anxiety until after college and it's so frustrating to hear my parents acknowledge I was an anxious child yet nothing was done. I can look back and see how many things could have gone better for me."
"I had diagnosed ADHD and my mom thought that the meds made my brother and I zombies and decided she wanted us to just be kids. My parents never looked into any kind of non-medication help for my ADHD."
"I'll always wonder what school would've been like if I had the tools to properly manage it."
"I got an MFA, but I feel my entire life has been a whole lot of masking."
I also have comorbid sleep/circadian rhythm disorder which they also never did anything about. Going to the doctor for anything, physical or mental, was not prioritized. But, my parents definitely weren't well off financially, so I imagine that that was the biggest contributor."
Kids deserve autonomy.
"Taught me to question adults and trust myself."
"They thought they were doing the best thing by teaching my sister and I 'All adults are always right and you obey them no matter what,' but it made me a dysfunctional employee and vulnerable to abusive relationships."
"The good news is it can be unlearned. But I hope this new generation will teach our kids to assert themselves respectfully instead of blind obedience."
Why keep up the charade?
"My parents are great people who did a good job raising me, but there was one weird thing they did that still kind of annoys to this day (and I'm 44.)"
"Once I got old enough to figure out that things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny weren't real they still wouldn't admit it for some reason; I think it was more my mom and my dad just went along with her. But even when I became a teenager and all my siblings were teenagers it's like they still thought it was funny and cute to keep pretending that Santa Claus was real. I don't know why."
"They missed the point of that sort of thing. It's a rite of passage for children to eventually get old enough to figure out that this sort of thing isn't real and for the parents to let them in on it. I was denied that and it still bugs me for some reason."
"I could imagine that being infuriating at 14-15 years old. At that age you're wanting to be seen as more of an adult and I can imagine them not acknowledging Santa as a way of not welcoming me into adulthood/making me feel like a little kid."
Yea that's weird. When I got older and looked back I realized that my folks never flat out said Santa was real. My mom would say something like, 'He's only real if you believe in him,' so she never technically lied to me. Maybe it stems from that, they don't want to admit they lied to you?"
"That could be, but I think it was more a matter of my parents (again, my mom especially) thinking that doing the whole Santa Claus thing on Christmas morning, and Easter Bunny thing on Easter was fun and something that she just didn't want to let go of when my sisters and I got older."
Healthy criticism is necessary sometimes.
"They lacked discipline and parental authority which led us to treat them like our friends, disrespect them. We also couldn't be academically successful because they didn't help us develop a healthy studying habit."
"Kids like it when a parent tells them what to do (I mean, parenting is about teaching a kid what to do, if you just leave it like that, it won't learn anything), help them when they can't get through it, never give negative criticism, but constructive criticism when they fail and appreciate them when they succeed."
"Negative criticism: this type only tells them what is wrong. e.g. 'you can't do this,' 'you are doing this badly.'"
"Constructive criticism: this type gives them an insight into what should they do, you can add what is lacking if necessary. e.g. '[...] is not good behaviour, please do [...] next time, then you would succeed,' 'it looks ok (if it is badly done, then don't say this), but if you do [...] it'd be better / [...] is the correct way.'"
Whatever the situation was with your parents or caretakers, there are ways to heal from this trauma.
Psychology Today says we need to process our emotions, especially if we were taught not to when we were children.
It's important that we break these generational curses.
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Breaking up is something that never gets easier.
That kind of thinking, however, does little to keep us from feeling dejected for days on end.
Curious to hear from heartbroken strangers on the internet, Redditor whitecheeks-24 asked:
What's your sad love story?
Death never comes at the right time.
A Difficult Decision
"The love of my life and soulmate who I was married to for 20 years and together for 24 passed away about 8 months ago. I feel alone and empty inside. I have nobody to love or to love me. My life is an empty waste of space now."
"I took her off of life support because I know that's what she wanted and I had to respect her wishes but I sometimes wish I was a little more greedy. I just want my doll face back."
"I am so sorry. I had to do the same thing with my love, married 40 years. It's been 28 months and I'm sinking deeper into despair. We had so many plans, did everything together, and I am honestly lost without him. I send you warmest regards."
The Shy Admirer
"I was a shy teenager, in love with a cute neighbor. His sister and my mom were friends. He died in a car accident. Nobody knew how I felt about him. I overheard his sister tell my mom that he was in love with me. We never got to share our feelings with each other."
"I think a guy I found on match.com died but I have no way of knowing. We had only been dating for 2 or 3 months and we were taking things slow. Then he got sick..tumors in his back and he needed surgery. We still hung out but he was in a lot of pain."
"At the time I was frustrated because I felt he was pushing me away. I just adored him and he was sending mixed messages. Now looking back.. I'm thinking he was just trying to survive. He went in for surgery and I never heard from him again. I didn't know his family and he didn't have social media."
"My mom would check the obituaries in the paper for me and I just always wondered. I hope he didn't know how to end things and just felt this was easier. It's been 5 years and I have a family of my own now but Michael..I hope you're okay."
It's hard for these Redditors to accept the fact their love was never meant to be.
Long Distance Fizzle
"I had to leave my first boyfriend behind because I moved out of state and didn't even get to say goodbye because I didn't know we were moving when I left. We left to see my aunt who had been traveling and was diagnosis with brain cancer in another state, she was too sick to travel home so they rented a house and stayed there essentially until she passed away."
"My mom liked the area better than my hometown tho so we ended up staying, our stuff was shipped to us so I never got to say goodbye to my boyfriend in person."
"We kept in contact for a couple years but being 16 and 18, it wasn't easy for me to just pack up and head back to move in somewhere with him. We both knew we weren't ready for that so we tried our best to keep the long distance romance going."
"Eventually he messaged me one day and told me that he can't do it anymore and he didn't want to hear from me again because he couldn't handle it."
"When I was in my early 20s, I've had a love at first sight experience. It completely broke me. He actually was into me too, but not in love like I was."
"I had never had a boyfriend before and I got so excited, I came in like a wrecking ball to cite a great poet. Long story short, I scared him off, he broke up, I couldn't get him out of my head and couldn't imagine a world without him, so I tried to kill myself."
"Though let me reassure you all, it's been years and I'm over him (as long as I don't see him IRL, I just know that I'd fall back in the spiral), I even had a long-term relationship after him."
Tough Reality Check
"I got left out of a 5 year relationship. I got injured, lost my job, and had to go take care of my dying mom. I was not in a good way. I come back from the ER and she calls our entire relationship off because I was not 'passionate' any longer. Right."
"My entire life fell apart. Lost the house we had gone in on. Lost the dog we had gotten together. And I lost my girl. She was my bestfriend, my first love."
"Huge reality check but at least I'm only 22. I'm glad I saw her true colors when things went bad. Easy to stand by someone when times are good. Saddest part is I would take her back in an instant. I lost a piece of my soul with her."
Some of the biggest heartbreaks come when someone shows their true colors.
"FOUND OUT MY BOYFRIEND WAS MARRIED WITH KIDS ON THE INTERNET. I was happy and in love for two years. One day while doing my research for a client work, I come across a research paper. The research paper matched what I was looking for, scrolling through it, I realized the owner had some names as my boyfriend."
"But this time he acknowledges his wife and two children for being patient with him as he was busy doing the thesis. I got curious, I took a screenshot and sent him a picture and asked if it's his paper."
"Also, I asked if it's true that he has two kids and a wife and he why didn't tell me. He answered 'DOES IT MATTER '. That was the end of my relationship. Never talked about it, never told any soul what happened."
"I finally got with my best friend and soul mate. He knows more about me then anyone and knows what I've been put thru my whole life. When we first got together he promised he would never do anything to me that others have."
"One year later he cheated, lied and and broke my spirit. Something i never thought was possible with me, yet he accomplished it. It's been a year since i left him and he still tries to get back into my life. The sad part is I know he doesn't love me and I can't stop loving him."
"After four years of supporting my lover through his depression and alcoholism, he announced tonight that he is leaving me. I'm pretty depressed."
A Devious Scheme
"Wife moves our small family across the country for a promotion at her company. When we arrive and settle into our house, she leaves me for her boss."
"The move was a scheme for her boss to leave his wife and kids, and for her to leave me, while being able to be close to all their children. So I unknowingly left my career, family and friends behind to move to a state where I don't know anyone so she could be with her new guy."
Unexpected tragedy will always be, to me, the saddest break up story.
A co-worker of mine used to date a young man who was a patron at the store where we both worked.
Their budding romance was new and exciting and absolutely adorable to watch.
He told me he planned to propose to her before he went away on a family vacation, but sadly, my friend never got the proposal. The guy drowned in a horrible boating accident during his trip.
Although my friend is now happily married with two kids, I wonder if she still thinks about him.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Want to "know" more?
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On the outside, so many professions and careers look glamorous, financially enticing, and fun.
Often we sit back in our own lives and wallow in our dead-end jobs with that "wish I could do that for a living mentality!"
But if you look a little closer or, much like Dorothy Gale in OZ, just wait for a Toto to push the curtain back, you'll see that a lot more is going on behind the scenes.
And the shenanigans we don't see, make all that fun... evaporate.
So many careers and high power industries are built on a foundation of lies, backstabbing, and stress. And not in that fun "Dynasty" way.
That quiet, dead-end gig may not be so bad after all.
Redditor MethodicallyDeep wanted hear all the tea about certain careers, by asking:
What is a secret in your industry that should be talked about?
I swear if every single person was forced to work in the hospitality industry for at least one month in their life, y'all would be beside yourselves. The amount of craziness and laziness could keep you eating at home for every meal until death.
Play Bigmartin scorsese casino GIFGiphy
"Casino dealers really do want the players to win. We don't work for the house. We get paid crap hourly rates and rely on tips. Unless the player is super nice they only to tip if they win so we really do want you to win." ~ thedevilsgame
Not the Good Stuff...
"That you can take a gallon of paint and give it a different label, price point, and warranty depending on the store it is sold in." ~ big_d_usernametaken
"My professor told me the same thing. He was a job coach and erased the due dates on food products with I believe acetone or some product in nail polish remover."
"Would slap a new date on it, and the food would get shipped to poorer neighborhoods. That crap blew my mind." ~ Additional_Bar_2013
"Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That if everyone being charged with a crime insisted on it going to trial, no plea bargaining, the system would crash." ~ mikenyle
"When I was a juror, the judge also commented before everything started that trial by jury is the only thing causing people to plea bargain and "getting the system moving."
"Many trials sit in limbo for years, and it's only the threat of "Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That really negotiations start. That's exactly what happened in my case - jurors got selected, and that afternoon (after being 2 years in the system), the defendant pleads out." ~ zealeus
"Safety. It's not really about your health and well being. It's about saving the company money from medical expenses, lost time, lawyer costs, etc. Very rarely does your company actually give 2 craps about you, no matter how much they preach safety, they just don't want to pay if you get hurt/killed." ~ WhenThePiecesFit
"pen to paper"New Girl I Give Up GIFGiphy
"TV/screenwriter here. If you're established and well connected, it's very easy to coast and be a TV writer for YEARS and do very little actual writing. Most of TV writing is just talking in a room with other writers spitballing."
"This is why there's so many old, unfunny dudes still "writing" on TV shows. They're hired by their friends and in TV, a lot writers don't actually do much "pen to paper" writing. Plus everything gets rewritten to death." ~ GardenChic
So much mess. Someone hire me to write for TV. Why are you just giving away jobs to unqualified people? Life is so unfair. This list makes me mad. Let's continue...
Carbon Copiesmail GIF by RabbidsGiphy
"I work in the print industry, we print cheques for companies and there is so little security involved in hiring, or keeping the materials secure, or running the actual work, or shipping the work to customers. I'm shocked we haven't had a problem with stolen cheques." ~ Jeff_Cunningham
"Advertising. I keep reading that advertising is leading people to be more woke, or multicultural. Companies don't lead, they follow. They do lots of research and know where the future markets are."
"I worked for a very conservative global brand. 5 years before gay marriage became legal, they told us it would happen and we needed to start targeting the LBGTQ community." ~ leftside72
"Visa agent and I've seen people be refused because the manager didn't like their face." ~ Ok_Albatross9395
"Omg this happened to my sister. She couldn't start her semester in time because she kept being refused a visa even though she fulfilled all conditions."
"Finally my parents found a "connection" in embassy to see what's going on; turns out someone just didn't like her when she came to give her papers the first time. I never knew if I can fully believe that story." ~ animal7239
So much typing...
"I'm a writer, among other things. I used to ghostwrite. You'd be amazed how many popular books are partly or fully ghostwritten. I specialised in taking people's crappy first drafts and rewriting them so they were actually good. Not "good" according to people's taste, which is subjective."
"But objectively better in the sense of being properly spelled, not having gaping plot holes, making sure characters were consistent. By the time I was done there was often very little left of the draft the "writer" had created, but there was a marketable product."
"Pisses me off no end when I see all the bull the publishing industry comes out with about how writers submitting a manuscript must make sure it's perfect because only excellence will get you anywhere."
"I don't know how they can say that and still sleep at night, knowing full well that they're hiring people like me to do large-scale rewrites (or to take a half-baked plot and create a draft from scratch)." ~ iwillckingbiteyou
ThievesJoseline Hernandez Facepalm GIFGiphy
"I work in payroll. The number of payroll reports I see where people are conned out of their overtime is saddening."
"Also, taxes paid by a business shouldn't actively dissuade them from paying employees less. The system shouldn't be based on paying a percentage of employee salary in taxes (FICA, Workers Comp), in other words." ~ ThongofSekhmet
I think some investigations need to be launched. I always knew payroll departments were running a scam. Too many people are being ripped off. Time to expose some people.
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