People Share The Funniest Reason They Were Fired From Their Job.

Knowable

My mother used to always tell me, you can go out with a fizzle or you can go out with a bang. These people chose to go out with a laugh.


Thanks to all the awesome folks at Quora who contributed their stories.

1. I was fired from work for farting in a very important meeting. I thought it would be silent!

- Anonymous


2. I worked as a Barista at a fancy cafe where we are expected to know how to do designs on lattes and other hot drinks. Usually it's just a leaf or a heart.

One time, I had a bunch of customers in, but one was my old childhood friend. When the person working at cash told me her order, I thought it would be funny to draw a caramel penis on the foam of her latte. The whole time I was looking over at her to see her reaction, though I couldn't see when she went into the dining area because it was behind a wall. She returned a moment later, completely red-faced, and asked for a new drink. Turns out she had purchased the drink for her boss, who was there to meet with her about a promotion. I was fired on the spot.

3. My best friend Barbara and I worked at Dunkin Donuts when we were 15. We were usually really good employees.

The store was right across from a Catholic church and very busy on Sunday morning, We had to be there at 6 AM. The baker had already been there baking the donuts but they weren't filled with the jelly yet. We had to get everything ready for the "after-church rush."

I don't know how they do it now but there was a machine that we filled with jelly and there was nipple on the top. We put the doughnut over the nipple and squirted the jelly into it.

The blueberry jelly came out of these huge cans and it was nice and soft, but the strawberry jelly came out in the shape of the can. We had to mush it up with our hands to get it to be soft enough to go through the nipple.

Some of these donuts needed whipped cream to go on top of them.

Two girls, Besties, 15, lots of donuts, lots of jam that needed mushing and whipped cream. What could possibly go wrong?

When the owner came in to check on how things were going, we were...

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When the owner came in to check on how things were going, we werein the middle of a whipped cream fight, donuts were all over the back of the store, strawberry jam was everywhere. We were covered with sugar and whipped cream from head to toe, and then we were out the door.

Cyndi Perlman Fink

4. I was fired because I couldn't staple papers to my boss's satisfaction.

- Anonymous

5. I worked at a Pier 1 Imports store when I was a junior in high school. My boss was a really cool guy, and he related very well with the rest of the employees at the store, most of whom were my age. Unfortunately, the corporate office felt they could do better with someone else. One day I went to work and there was a new manager, and my old boss had been fired.

The new guy was the exact opposite of my former boss. It did not take long for me to run afoul of him. He didn't care for me, and I thought he was an idiot.

I should not have been surprised at what happened next.

Our store was located on the same road, less than a half mile from the high school I attended.

For three days before our Homecoming the guy told me to push this big old player piano out near the busy road, wear a Mexican poncho and a huge sombrero and crank the piano while holding a sign telling passersby of our storewide sale. Suffice it to say EVERYONE from my high school passed me at least 3 times and laughed at my predicament. Even my girlfriend.

I felt like an idiot, and I looked like one too. I would not have minded having to take my turn doing this, but I was the only employee to have to do so.

So after the three days of torment, which my boss relished, I was tasked with hanging bean bag chairs from the ceiling rafters. I stood on a 12 foot ladder trying to tie them to the beams, while dickhead stood on the opposite (x-frame) side of the ladder holding up the bean bags.

For some reason, he thought it was funny to try to knock me off the ladder with the bean bags. Twice I nearly fell off the ladder, catching myself with the rope that hung from the ceiling. I told him to knock it off, because I didn't think it was funny. He did it again, and I fell off the ladder onto a pile of rugs.

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At that point my temper got the best of me, and I called him every profane name I had ever heard. I think I even made some new ones up.

With a big smile on his face, he told me I was fired. I turned in my smock and left.

About a year later he was fired and prosecuted by the company for stealing from the store safe. I was told he did about 8 months in the slammer.

Could not have happened to a bigger jerk.

6. I got fired from a swanky hotel for yawning too much. I was a security guard. I got paid to just stand there.

- Anonymous

Rick Bruno

7. In 2008 an outbreak of tornadoes hit downtown Atlanta. The business where I worked at the time got nailed big-time. It wasn't wind that did it, it was the rain. It completely flooded the place, which was partially underground. When I went to the unemployment office the next day I was asked the reason for my job loss.

"Tornado," I answered.

"Gosh, we've never heard that one before," they said.

David Durham

8. I took too long to go poo in the bathroom and missed a super important phone call.

- Anonymous

9. Sitting on my butt smoking cigarettes.

I worked at a record store back in the 1980's in college and I don't think I did much more than take people's money, put on music that I liked, and find a moment to light another cigarette. Smoking was allowed in the store in those days.

Anyway, the boss fired me and I cried in disbelief. Looking back, that is pretty hilarious given that they paid me to do pretty much nothing.

Jill Uchiyama

10. I got fired because I stole my coworker's food from the fridge. I deserved that.

- Anonymous

11. My first job was working for Dunkin' Donuts. Except, I got fired on my second day for eating the donuts.

In my defense, I would go there directly after school and I was hungry, the manager said it was okay to eat some, but sparingly. Well, I got caught eating about 12 munchkins.

Virali Modi

12. I worked for about three hours as a barman before getting fired. Here's what happened...

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12. I worked for about three hours as a barman before getting fired. Here's what happened...

When I was about twenty I did a trial shift as a barman during the day when the bar was fairly quiet. There was a guy at the bar who ordered drinks and every time he ordered exactly the same drink he would give me less than what the drink cost. This happened four or five times and got me bloody frustrated, so the last time it happened I leaned in close to him and said something like "mate, you know how much your drinks cost so how about you stop being a dick and give me the right effing money".

I then got a tap on the shoulder and the manager said he didn't think I had the right demeanor for the job, I swear I was set up and the guy drinking was a regular who was fucking me around at the managers instruction, testing the young pup to see if he could keep his cool. Clever bloody bastards.

Simon Brown

13. I told my boss I was sick but he spotted me on the Jumbotron at a baseball game.

14. This is an incident which happened to an employee that my cousin had to suspend.

Towards the close of business, the employee was caught trying to take two packets of milk home. My cousin, being in an admin sort of capacity, had the matter come to him.

Now there is a German word called Erklrungsnot, which roughly means Explanation-emergency, a situation where you are under pressure to come up with a justification, and you have lot of explaining to do. Ex.Your wife catches you with another woman etc..

Anyway, this employee has at least 25 people reporting directly to him, so this was Erklrungsnot major time!

He was asked to explain himself and this was his answer

"erm......Oh I thought tomorrow we were on strike!"

He was suspended for two weeks.

15. Not my story but I have to share.

My friend was hired by a big company as their new Finance Manager specifically for her to fix the company's finances, it was going really bad apparently and my friend was famous with her success in growing money - she saved the previous company she was working for from going bankruptcy.

So she got hired, she made a really good plan that gave incredible results in a short time...

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So she got hired, she made a really good plan that gave incredible results in a short time. 6 months in for a last kick she offered to tighten the budget a little and let go off one of the high-salaried managers.

The CEO listened to her advice...and fired her.

- Anonymous

16. I was working at a mattress depot and accidentally fell asleep on the bed. Oops!

17. I was in Australia, and I was asked by my then girlfriend to help her as a waiter. She was working temporarily at some Turkish restaurant in Melbourne. I reluctantly agreed, having never been a waiter.

We turned up and it was for some birthday party. There were lot's of Turkish people there, most of them could only speak a little English.

So I did my bit, gave them their food and drinks and thankfully didn't drop anything or offend anyone.. Which isn't normally the case. So the night wore on, there were plenty of drunk Turkish guys dancing to some awful music. Inevitably we were told by the manager we could go and get changed and he'll pay us when we get downstairs.

So we went upstairs and had sex (I feel i don't need to bore you with the details but we were young, 16 and 17 and very much hormonal).

Much to my dismay the managers mother, who was also helping out walked in the middle of our sexual union. She let out a squeal and run off shouting something in Turkish. I sighed. We gathered our belongings, got dressed and made our departure via the fire escape, which was far easier than facing the embarrassment and the shame of confronting the manager and his mother.

We had a good laugh about it at the time but my girlfriend did worry that the manager might ring her. He never did. Perhaps he thought not paying us each $100 balances out the degradation thrust upon his mother.

Dan Knight

18. Airmailing Coke.

It was my first job, and I really had no idea "you aren't supposed to enjoy work".

I developed a habit of airmailing (throwing across the room) frozen ice-cream drinks from the front prep are to the drive through window, thereby speeding things up considerably. Turns out this was pretty much okay, usually, because no one was really watching, and nothing was getting spilled because the ice cream was so thick it stayed in the cup.

One evening we were pretty slammed, and I decided to try airmailing the soft drinks. My co-worker and I decided that we should practice with short throws first, and it went fine. Within a few minutes I was zinging the suckers all the way from the front counter, and he was catching all of them with no problem.

My last one hit the general manager square in the face, as he rounded the corner, and into the line of fire. I sort of knew before I saw him because Mike's face went into "Oh crap" mode right as I released the perfect spiral.

Needless to say, Coke went everywhere, all over his face, shirt, the sandwich prep area, cash register, ceiling, floor, other employees. Everyone that was at the counter waiting on their food, all of the employees that did not get soaked busted out laughing.

I was being escorted out the back door within 30 seconds.


19. A super prestigious investment banking firm was interviewing us in our college during our second year of the course for the summer internship. I cleared the personality and the aptitude test and I was waiting for the senior officials to test me on my technical knowledge required for the job. It was my first interview. I was summoned by a very smart looking, very well dressed person who did not introduce himself and started to talk about the company and its operations across the globe. He asked me a few questions about cash flow etc, and I answered them pretty well. By this time this man had made me so comfortable, my confidence was sky rocketing. Big mistake.

He asked me what Asset Management was. I really had no idea. I am more of a strategy person than a finance person but I wanted the internship really badly. So I tried to make up an answer.

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I told him "Sir I am sure you must be knowing what management is. I am also very sure you know what an asset means. In the world of accounting and finance asset is totally a bigger concept when compared to what a layman thinks it is. So asset management is simply management of assets. Now this is a very long process sir. Its starts with planning and controlling. Organizing and Directing are parts of asset management. Sir Asset management is the precursor of Liability management. I hope you get my point."

He smiled and nodded. He asked about my family and my other achievements. I tried every other other way I could think of to make a good impression. I told him I have read extensively on finance and wealth management. Asset management is where I want to be and its my strong area. Big mistake number two.

After 20 mins of interview I thought I had nailed it and fooled the interviewer. He stood up to thank me and wished me all the best. He introduced himself after: "My name is Mark and I am the vice president of the asset management division." I was speechless. He started laughing. I smiled back and him and burst into laughter. And I was shown the way out.

- Anonymous

20. I got fired for not smiling enough. Now I own my own company and I make a point of telling my employees during training that they should never feel like they need to fake being happy all the time. We're all human, and being able to express a wide range of emotions is a good thing.

- Anonymous

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