I'm sorry... could you repeat that?
1. I was catching up with one of my ex-girlfriends, who I hadn't seen in years. We'd parted on good terms, so it was just friends catching up. She was kind of weird in a monkey-cheese-ninjas-pirates way when I knew her, so this came as something of a shock.
Her: ...blah blah blah, and then I had my kids, but that was after I lost my leg.
Me: You lost a leg?
Her: Yeah, we got in a shootout with (white supremacist group) and I got hit in the leg. I didn't want to go to the hospital because the last doctor I saw was a [person of color] so I put it off and it got really infected and then it had to get cut off...
Me: And who was "we" again?
Her: Oh, (other white supremacist group). You know, I can get you in if you want. The racial cleansing is coming and I'd hate for you to be on the wrong side of the race war. You're smart enough to be an officer, and we need someone good at planning.
So that's how I found out my ex-girlfriend was a one-legged, one-eyed white supremacist that gets in shootouts.
2. Me and a friend were sitting around working on his Mazda when he mentioned that he only had anal sex with his girlfriend because she had a cyst the size of a baseball in her vagina. Total non-sequitur.
I paused a minute and said "your air cleaner is dirty."
3. Did you ever wonder if your mum gave your dad a blowjob just before she kissed you goodnight?
I hate you you uncle tony. I hate you.
4. Got a couple for you!
Was working at a grocery store. I was customer service desk. My boss was there. She was about 25ish, me maybe 20. We're talking about partying. I told her I like drinking bourbon to get real messed up. She tells me that omg she got so wasted off of jack daniels one night. She was at a party and was basically blacking out and she figures she gave just about every guy at the party a blow job.
What.
I didn't know what to do. Did I hear that correctly? Holy crap. This was my boss.
Another time I was talking to my roommate, a British guy. I was explaining the concept behind Toots and The Maytals 54 46 song. He was a real kind English guy and as I'm talking he just sticks his finger into his nose, then that same finger into his mouth, and he sucks the thing dry.
So surreal.
5. I used to work at a restaurant and one day during pre shift we were casually talking and somebody mention choking someone else as a joking threat, like not actually doing it just pretending.
My manager then turns to us and says " I like to be choked." realizing what she said she then (Continued)
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She then stayed in her office for most of the day.
6. Hungover at my college's cafeteria, eating breakfast and making obligatory small talk with a girl from Iowa. Somehow the topic of meth came up (I know, what could go wrong?).
Me: Yeah, it's a pretty rampant problem. I read a book about it that focused on a city in Iowa, actually. People just boost these big tanks of anhydrous ammonia from farmers.
Girl: Oh yeah, my Dad used to be a sheriff in Iowa.
Me: Oh cool.
Girl: Yeah, one time he tried to close the lid to a huge anhydrous ammonia tank that was leaking.
Me: Oh wow
Girl:...but he fell in when he was crossing the ladder.
Me: Oh.....[such an awkward pause]...is he alright?
Girl: [pure matter-of-fact] No, the acid ate him to the bone. He's dead.
Me: Oh.....damn..................... resumes cereal
7. One night I was talking to a friend of mine that I've known for years, and he drops the biggest WTF bomb that I've ever heard. He told me that when he was 16, one morning woke up and did not remember anything. By anything I mean he wasn't even able to recognize his parents or girlfriend. The most shocking thing is that he never recovered the memory, he actually does not remember anything that happened to him before he was 16. I proceeded to talk to him hours asking questions on how it is to wake up one day and having a brand new life. It was a messed up and extremely interesting conversation.
8. Mum: 'I want you to go to the shop for me and get this this this and this. oh by the way, bluey (our dog) is dead. Don't forget the bread'
Me: WUT
9. I met this pretty cute girl at the beach couple summers ago. We started talking and playing volleyball. Everything seemed normal up until the part where she started describing her life.
Girl: Yeah... well my boyfriend is in jail right now for stabbing someone... and that reminds me, wanna see my stab scar too?
She shows me her stab scar and starts telling me how she dropped out of school.
Girl: You know, I kinda feel lonely without my boyfriend and... he doesn't need to know about anything ;)
I just left.
10. At a bachelor party talking to one of the strippers she says: "Sure I'll have sex with (continued)
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"Sure I'll have sex with the groom and even the best man. But after three or four guys it gets kind of gross, ya know?".
11. Talking with someone about the weather.
Him: It's so nice out. I think I'll go to the beach today.
Me: Yeah, it's been amazing weather all week, I feel so lucky.
Him: I've been embezzling money from my work for the past three years now. Yeah, I think I'll bring my bathing suit.
Me: Huh.
[deleted]
12. Had a (girl) friend over, there was about 3 of us sitting around the couch, drinking some beers..
She drops the "So I had a miscarriage on sunday" bomb. "Yeah, I didn't even know I was pregnant. Anyone want another beer?"
13. Not a conversation I was directly involved in, but there's still a high degree of WTF.
I was talking with some friends the other day and one mentioned that while she was at work, her friends there brought up the topic of "deepest, darkest secrets." One immediately volunteered the information that every time she goes to the bathroom, she sniffs her panties. Apparently everyone just gaped awkwardly and the conversation quickly shifted to other topics.
Seriously, if a topic like that ever comes up, don't ever be the first one to share.
14. There was this Chinese girl I was on a date with once who dropped many very depressing things into our conversations. Here's a few of the gems from the date (paraphrased):
"Oh, I don't have any siblings. The government kidnapped my mom and forced her to get an abortion when they found out she was trying to have another child."
"Oh that's a cute memory from your childhood. In my country, they throw little girls into ditches to die."
"Sometimes, people kidnap women from trains and sell them into slavery."
It's something I'm aware of, and something I'm not opposed to talking about. It isn't, however, something you bring up in the first conversation on the first date. I mean, would you bring it up out of no where?
15. On my first day of work at a shoe store, the manager walked me around and introduced me to the other employees that came in that day. There was maybe about 2 others. The last one of the night was an old, short woman named, Joanne. As soon as she sees the manager, she walks up to her and tells us that her husband found (Continued)
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As soon as she sees the manager, she walks up to her and tells us that her husband found her toys and tried to throw them out. My manager says to me, "Joanne collects Barbie Dolls." Joanne looks at her and says, "No, my other toys."
16. Girl met on OKC, on first date.
Her: I only do anal sex now, cause every time I do it the other way, I get a baby in me.
me: Ever try birth control?
Her: No the bible says birth control is a sin.
Check please.
17. From a person I just met on the train: "Yeahhhh, I just found out my dad is cheating on my mom, at least I think he is, so I'm on my way to the town of the other woman to try and talk to her." Then later in the conversation, "I think I may have a few siblings that I've never met." Nice to meet you too!
-Thewriter
18. I was at my friend's house on the last day of winter break, helping him pack his college stuff to go back to school. His mom walked through the doorway and looked at the piles of books, computer stuff, etc. with this expression of "wtf are you doing?" After this long, awkward stare she goes "Oh I guess no one told you: Your dad lost his job and you're not going back to college this semester."
19. I was once having a drunken patio conversation with some buddies and we were discussing stupid/annoying things. It was a random conversation about dumb crap and we were having a laugh until one of my friends busts this out..
friend (verbatim): Don't you guys hate when you're taking a poop and it grazes the back of your balls?
everyone else: moment of silence
other friend: after moment of silence dude... how big are your balls?
20. I came home from high school one day, and my parents told me that they had all of our family pets put down that day. Five dogs and a cat. None of the animals were sick or hurt, in fact one of them was only two years old. We had no problem affording their food, and there was no legal issue. They just purely did not want to take care of five 85 pound bullmastifs anymore (and - it was my job to pick up their poop, not theirs).
I told my folks to go screw themselves and lived in the basement for over a month (it was furnished). My mom left food for me at the top of the stairs. Somewhat unrelated - this is when I taught myself how to code in assembly because I needed a distraction.
A few months later we went to a breeder and bought a west highland white terrier. He was a good dog, but I was always slightly concerned that they would randomly kill him too. My folks soon got divorced, and when they did, they didn't ask me who I wanted to live with and didn't fight for custody of ME - but they fought like the couple on The War of the Roses over that dog. So, at age 17, I actually (continued)
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So, at age 17, I actually moved out of the house (I had a job) into my own apartment in a crappy neighborhood.
To this day I still don't forgive nor understand my parents, even though they passed away a long time ago.
21. "Hey, I'm going to do some laundry. Also I probably gave you herpes. Do you usually wash your jeans separately?"
-Anonymous
22. I was studying in the Dominican Republic, and living in a very rural area. I passed my days sitting around talking to whomever.
One day, I'm in a town I frequented, and this guy I hadn't seen before starts talking to me. Within 5 minutes, he tells me this, totally straight faced:
When I was little, I had a goat. And I used to play with the goat. But then I got too old, so I stopped playing with him. One day, I was sitting like this (he had his knees apart), and the goat got mad that I wouldn't play with him. He charged, hit me between the legs, and took out my testicles. Now I have none.
I sat there in shock, hoping that my Spanish was poor enough that I misunderstood. Sadly, an hour later, I hear the same story from his aunt, who is giggling while telling the story, with the poor guy sitting there.
23. I was in the middle of talking to my ex-girlfriend (we ran into one another at the grocery store) when she casually dropped into conversation that she was buying a nursing bra.
"Wait, what?" I said. "Hold up. You're getting a nursing bra?"
She told me she was pregnant, and that it was mine. Something tells me her casual slip of the nursing bra into conversation wasn't so casual after all. I'm still baffled as to why she wouldn't have said it with a little more care, but I'm sure she was under a lot of stress and who knows maybe I would have done the same thing in her shoes. The good news is, I'm going to be a dad! I can't wait the little peanut arrives next month.
-Anonymous
24. Conversation between my friend and his parents, when he was little:
[yelling from the other room]
Mom: Stephaaaaan, do you want mashed potatoes or baked potatoes for dinner and are you gay?
Stephan: Mashed and yes!
Anonymous
25. A girl I met for a blind date, which was already a disaster on many levels, causally dropped in this nugget as I was hurriedly bringing her home:
"Yea so this one time a girl told people that my friend got her pregnant and it was a lie. Ruined the kids life. So the next time I saw her I (Continued)
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o the next time I saw her I shived her in the neck."
Me: "Huh" sound of car accelerating faster
26. "My dad left me on the freeway once, for several hours, and now that I'm grown up, he steals my money and blames me for everything that goes wrong."
... Yeah, about third or fourth conversation I had with that guy. Way to drop dramatic family history into a conversation about cinnamon buns, man.
27. I was young and thought Red Lobster was an awesome restaurant. I had a bit of extra money just then (rare), so I asked this girl out. She was young, gorgeous, in her early 20s or late teens.
We're sitting in the waiting area for our table to be ready, when this couple comes in with a toddler in a stroller. She smiles at the little boy, he smiles back at her.
That's when she says, "Aw, he's so cute. He looks just like my two year-old."
I'm rolling with it. Ok, she has a kid she didn't mention (we'd talked several times before, but never dated). That's cool I'm thinking, I can deal with that.
Then she drops the bomb. Turning to me, she says, "By the way, did I mention I have five kids?"
...
"No, no that didn't come up."
28. In a party, I approach two friends talking, and overheard "That's why I don't drink dog pee anymore". I moonwalked away.
29. I worked at a bank and me and my coworkers, include "Angie" who just started a week before this, were talking about child smokers. We were discussing whether the rate of adult smokers would drop if there was a way to keep kids uninterested until they were 18. We asked Angie what she thought. Then her WTF moment:
Angie: Well I started smoking because my step mom would smoke with me. We would also drink and then she turned me in for drugs and I spent the next four years in rehab until I was 18.
Okay...Quite a bit to drop on your coworkers in the first real conversation you've ever had with them.
30. I open-mouth-kissed a horse once.
31. After illness caused me to miss a college exam, the professor allowed me to take the test a few days later, in a small room with another guy who had missed the same test. Shortly before the professor brought our exams in, the other guy announced to me, "This morning I found a zit on my scrotum."
"I didn't find one on mine," I replied, and wished for ear bleach.
Thumb image source: Roman Samborskyi / shutterstock.com
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.