1. Hi my first marriage was arranged-ish my husband family made an arrangement with my father when I was 12 that I would marry their middle son who was two years older then me when I was 18 and had finished school. I knew him already his sister was my best friend and he was friends with my brothers. We never talked much till we made our engagement official and he had paid me my Mahr and in the about six months between our engagement and our wedding we hung out and went on "dates" talked on the phone got to know each other personally. I grew to like him a lot I wouldn't go so far as to say that I loved him. I grew to love him eventually and he was a very nice caring sweet guy and treated me well. He supported me going to university. We had a good life together we loved traveling together we both loved photography. We had been talking about having kids when I was finished with university.We weren't married very long only two years before he died in a car accident. I think we could have made things work with more time.
Sex was fine we were both virgins when got married I tried doing what I saw in porn but it didn't work out to well but like all things we got better with practice.
2. Like a fool I opted for an arranged marriage on the rebound. The girl I was originally seeing was ludicrous. But something strange happens when you get rejected, more so than the hurt...You become incapable of making good decisions.
Anyhow, was introduced to a girl. She had different interests, a different outlook on life and didn't take to kindly to my casual humor. So like an idiot I got engaged to her. Over the course of the engagement I was really busy with work so didn't see her at all. Then came the marriage. It was surreal. There I was sitting on stage with a girl I hardly knew, getting married!
Fast forward to the honeymoon. We were like awkward strangers. We actually never had sex on our honeymoon. Was the sex awkward? You're damn right it was.
Fast forward 6 years later and we have a child. Did I make the right decision? If I wasn't a father I'd leave tomorrow. I wouldn't let my parents choose my socks, but I let them choose my 'life partner' (the loser that I am). So why am I sticking around? To cut a long story short, I want my child to do well in life, so am living an act.
Do I have regrets? Don't we all?
Am I a good husband? I never argue, never complain and put on a smiling face.
Have I messed my life up? Not totally, I earn quite a lot. And unlike the BS you hear in the movies, money gives you great options in life, and I try to enjoy as much of it as possible.
3. My parents and aunt arranged a marriage for me and I traveled back to my country, met her once before the marriage. First night she was really shy and kept hiding under the blanket and pulling it away from me while giggling, nothing happened that night, then she got a call the next day from her mother and they kept talking for half an hour.
It happened then later that night when we were in bed innocently watching TV, then she looked at me and said:
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maybe the first complete sentence: "I don't know what I'm supposed to do" in a nervous voice. So I laughed and played it funny, then started gently kissing, hugging, and joked a bit then two hours later we are doing it and now I've two kids from her and she turned 26 last month.
Arranged isn't as bad as it sounds, but back in my place it's normal to have arranged marriages and even marriages without seeing the bride. Mine was great considering there are parents who wait outside the room to her the daughter orgasm to make sure she's virgin.
4. I have an amazing story regarding this.
This all happened April last year, and it is 100% true. My wife is from a Muslim country originally but her family is from the capital and quite modern. She has relatives however from a smaller village who are not quite as modern. So one of her second cousins (son of dads cousin) wants to get married. His mom interviews a few girls but it took a while. Some of the girls she didnt like because they werent traditional enough, and some of the girls families didnt want because the guys family was too strict, even for a small village (things like the girl having to be muslim, must wear hijab, pray 5 times a day, the whole ordeal).
Finally they find a girl who suits him, so they organize the wedding for like 2 weeks after.
So the wedding happens and it ends early and everyone goes home to rest and sleep. My wife and his family (parents and sister) go to the hotel which is an hour away.
Then my wifes dad gets a call. I should say before that my wifes dad is very well considered in his extended family because he has a very good job in the center and works with high profile people, basically a very respectable man. It was maybe 1am and he gets a call from his older sister saying that he needs to go back to the village immediately, there is an emergency. Him expecting it to be about money (he gets asked for money quite often) demands to know what is going on. So here is fun part.
The groom was a very traditional muslim man. He had never had a date, never gone out with a girl, and followed his religion in a very strict way. He had barely talked to women in the past. The bride has followed a similar path. So they finish the ceremony, they go to the room, and they realize they have absolutely no idea how to proceed. Like these people did not know how to have sex. They had never watched a porn film, they never had sex education, no one thought to tell them what they would have to do in bed. They are there wondering what to do now, so they call this aunt who is the eldest of the family to tell them what to do. But the aunt feels that a woman cannot possibly describe to a man how to have sex, that is so inappropriate, so instead she calls her younger brother (my father-in-law). My FIL doesnt want to hear about that crap, he is one hour away and it is really barely any of his business, it is late and he works the next day. Also there must be many others more suitable for that kind of thing. At this point my wife and her mom and sister are cracking up because they cannot believe this is happening on 2013, and the thing is no one expected this, otherwise they would have taken precautions.
So my FIL tells them to try to find someone else and if not he will go, but thankfully they contact one of the guests who is a mullah (not sure I spelled that right), like a religious figure, who agrees to go and explain to the guy what to do with his wife so they can consummate the marriage. But it doesnt end there.
Like a week later my wife comes and tells me that apparently something happened, because the next days the bride was seen walking funny, and apparently they had to contact a gynecologist because something had happened during the wedding night that actually hurt the poor girl. We never got to know what was it that he did (or they tried) that went wrong, or the outcome after. Keep in mind this is really embarrassing for them so they tried to keep it as low as possible, we only found out because they called my FIL first to try to go talk to the guy.
I doubt this happens in many arranged marriages, but hey, it happened in at least once.
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5. My parents' marriage was arranged. My maternal grandfather (major general in the Indian Army) served under my paternal great-grandfather (Chief of Army Staff). So the families had known each other for quite some time, and the decision was made by both sets of grandparents when my mother and father were both very young. Neither of them were told of the arrangement until both were in their 20s. The parents "introduced" them to each other, and they dated for a year.
Well, they ended up marrying and still love each other very much 24 years later. So that's something :)
6. My marriage was a traditional, arranged Islamic marriage. I'm 34 years old was married 8 years ago to my Amazing wife.
She was the sister of a friend. I told my friend I wanted to get married and after asking me what I wanted in a wife he suggested another friends sister.
I first went to meet with her father, we spoke about marriage and what I was looking for etc. He told me about his daughter and what she was like etc. Afterwards we had dinner, some tea then everyone left and I was introduced to my wife.
We spent about 30 minutes talking together which was difficult because she didn't speak any English and I didn't speak much Arabic at the time. But everything went very well and then I was asked... "Do you want her" I said yes, and we were engaged.
We met a couple days later for about 30 minutes then I left the country for work. I didn't see or speak to her for more than a year after that ( was working double shifts to get the Dowry, and wedding money ready.)
I know it sounds strange but in that year I developed a love for my wife I can't explain. I knew so little about her but we just clicked. I spent that year away planning the perfect wedding for her and buying her gifts and things I thought she would like.
I returned after a year and did a Casanova. (I wasn't permitted to see her until we signed the marriage contract. ) I sent flowers to her house with a friend, then I sent her a total of a dozen gifts every couple hours. Gold, perfumes, more gold, lots more gold, and some other romantic kinda things. I saved the diamond ring for last.
The day came for the Akht al nikkah (The traditional Islamic ceremony) which is basically more of an engagement than a marriage because you do not consummate the marriage but you are then freely permitted to be together to talk etc. I signed the papers, she signed the papers the Sheikh ( religious leader ) said congrats your married and I was allowed to go inside and see her.
She was dressed up all awesome and beautiful I came in and put the diamond on her finger and kissed her hand much to the surprise of her family who gave a bunch of ooohs and ahhhs and laughs from her sisters.
We then were able to spend some quality time together for the first time but still under careful watch by the family. (No closed doors etc) This is basically the get to know you phase so sexual contact is not allowed in case things don't work out there is an easy out and she has not been compromised.
It was great, she had learned some English and My Arabic was significantly better. We spent as much time together as possible and were properly married and consummated the marriage about 2 weeks later.
It's been 8 years now we are still very happily married. It hasn't been easy there have been a LOT of difficulties along the way but somehow we have both grown up a lot.
8 years later and I love her more than I ever have. We have 4 children together and are planing on more. She's an amazing woman and I am more than lucky to have met her.
I am away for work and I get messages like this from her every single day. I left the grammatical errors on purpose. English is not her first language as I said but she does well now.
"Harcesis, I love you and respect you so much and I hope to God that makes me a loyal wife to you. You are all my life and sometimes strange things happen that make me know that I love you and respect you and I want to accept God meant my love and loyalty to you."
:) Yes, I'm bragging a little but I love my wife and am so very lucky and happy to have her!
So, that's how my arranged marriage went :)
7. Not a lot of people know that I'm in an arranged marriage. Yep, my wife was chosen for me from before I was really cognizant of what love was all about. My family, well, I don't want to give too much away, there's a certain institution involved that gets really bent out of shape when stuff like this gets out on the Internet, but my folks were in deep. My wife's actually a few years younger than I am, so it's possible that we were arranged to be married before I was even born. But I'm not really sure, because nobody talks about it anymore.
But, and this is the crazy part here: (Continued)
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But, and this is the crazy part here: it actually wound up totally working out. Although you wouldn't have thought it would have if you were in my shoes about ten years ago. When I was a little kid, I just kind of grew up assuming that I'd get married when I was eighteen to my prearranged wife, someone I may or may not have known from the community. I wasn't allowed to watch any regular TV shows or questionable pop culture stuff, so -and you hear this from a lot of people in my situation- nothing really struck me as out of the ordinary.
So on my eighteenth birthday, I wake up, my parents tell me to come downstairs, and there's this girl ... look, I don't want to get mean here. I mean, if I say she was ugly, and then I describe her, I don't want anybody out there on the Internet to read this and think, "Oh my God, I look just like how he's describing this girl. I must be ugly too," because that's crazy. Who's to say what's pretty and what's ugly? Isn't it all about perspective, beauty in the eye of the something or other?
But, from my eighteen year old perspective anyway, this girl was not attractive. "Son," my dad stood there, beaming, "Meet your fiancee, Shelly." And I was automatically put off, I had this crazy anxiety like I'd never experienced before. But I saw my parents standing there, they were happy, I was a good kid, I never bucked the system of anything, and so I smiled too, because, that's what I did, I always tried to be a good kid and make my parents happy. That's what this life was, and I was just going along with it.
"Well son," my dad continued, "Don't you want to say hi?" And I did, I said a bunch of really awkward hellos, I did this weird handshake that almost morphed into a weird hug, but she kind of recoiled, and I didn't get much more aggressive than attempting a very lukewarm embrace. But I smiled.
"So this is OK with you?" my dad asked, "You're happy with your new fiancee?" And I gushed, "Yes dad, I'm really happy, I can't wait to get married," stuff like that.
My dad looked at my mom, and my dad said, "Phew, all right, good job, he passed." They both looked really relieved. "You can go Shelly."
And Shelly left. "Mom? Dad?" I asked, "What's going on?"
"Well son, your mother and I were concerned about your commitment to our way of life. Sure, you say you're into this whole arranged marriage business, and maybe if we brought you down here to meet someone a little more ..." again, I hate to say ugly, but she was ugly.
My mom picked up, "It's just that, well, seeing you ready to marry that other girl, your father and are both very convinced of your convictions."
"So if I'm not going to marry her, than who?"
And that's when they brought out Janice, my wife. She was so beautiful. And I was like, YES! That's what I'm talking about!
And we got married, and it was great. Hell yeah, arranged marriage, I'm totally pro arranged marriages!
8. Had an arranged marriage when I turned 28.
I grew up in the US and got married to a girl from back home (Pakistan). I'd had girlfriends before but never had sex.
I had a lot of anxiety about my first sexual encounter but I was pretty confident going in because I figured my wife was this good girl from back home who was just overwhelmed right now with all these changes and the new scenery (she came here from Pakistan).
I bought the most regular ass condoms and no lube. We made out for a while but then when I went to do the deed... (Continued)
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it would just not go in. I got frustrated and just gave up, blueballs'd like hell. I felt like such a failure. But, she told me not to worry about it and helped me in...other ways. I didn't actually do the deed till like the 4th or 5th attempt (several days later). But she was so sweet and never made me feel uncomfortable at all, despite how overwhelming the situation of being in a new country and leaving behind her family and friends was for her.
Still happily married after 12 years with 3 beautiful kids.
9. My parents are in an arranged marriage. They've been together for over 30 years. They were both the youngest of large rural Indian families, and their parents married them off so that they could move on with their own lives. They had never met beforehand. They came to America together, without really knowing English and only having a few hundred Rupees between the two of them. They aren't very affectionate with each other when other people are around, but I know they love each other. It didn't start out that way. They learned.
It's definitely shaped my perspective on love. In America people definitely get into relationships for the 'passion'. You can't blame them really, because they've been sold on the fairytale since they were a child. Their partner is supposed to complete them and all this other stuff. When the passion dies, most people here seem to just move on. I can understand this if you're young and inexperienced. It's okay to make mistakes in relationships. But nowadays this seems to be the case even when people are married. They just get 'bored' in the relationship or whatever so they quit.
That whole mindset is SO messed up to me. A relationship, especially a committed, monogamous one isn't ultimately about you. It isn't even really about your partner. It's about the whole picture, kids, in-laws, cousins, everything. It's a union of two families. In Asian cultures, divorce doesn't just speak to the toxicity of the relationship between the husband and wife, but also reflects poorly upon the parents and children involved as well. People don't get divorces on the other side of the world because it's just not done. It's seen as an incredibly selfish thing to do.
If there's one thing I've learned about relationships from growing up in an arranged household, it's that real relationships are primarily based around sacrifice.
The break down of marriage as an institution will have profound effects on the social fabric of America. I used to work in the inner city, and I can go on at length about the importance of a whole household on a child's development. If you take a look at the problems the inner city community is facing right now you'll see a lot of problems centered around fractured households. This new generation of Americans are living in an era where 50% of marriages end in divorce. Gay, straight, bi, whatever if you're having kids, they deserve to be raised by both parents. The disintegration of marriage isn't just the disintegration of traditional views of marriage, it's the disintegration of family.
In my opinion, all this helps prove that the West isn't totally right when it comes to its views on relationships either. Choice should be a part of the process, but here in America it's viewed as almost the entirety of the process. On the other side of the world it's viewed as merely the first step. The reality is we're actually more (Continued)
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compatible with other people than we think. We aren't all special snowflakes, and if we are that may not necessarily be a good thing. It's nice to date someone that likes Woody Allen or Miles Davis too but at the end of the day it's much more important to date someone that's thoughtful and considerate as opposed to thoughtless and self-centered.
I'm not getting an arranged marriage. I'd like to be able to meet a girl at a bar or on the street somewhere and have her eventually become my wife. But I'd also like that other person to understand the importance of sacrifice and commitment. I want the steady slow-burn of a stable relationship as opposed to the fiery passionate stuff that burns out and leaves you emotionally spent.
10. I am currently in a marriage that would be considered arranged. In my case, I mentioned to my parents that I liked the girl, and they proceeded with everything else. I was pretty involved and know that my wife was OK with the proposal, so there was nothing forced about it. I am born and raised in the US, my wife was born and raised overseas and moved here after we were married. We are going on our 11th year and have 3 wonderful children. Despite ups and downs, I feel that we are very happy.
My wife is absolutely beautiful to me and always stands out to me no matter where we are, and is THE single most nicest and most comforting person I have ever met. From this union we have become a solid rock to many people in our family and definitely give the impression of a happy loving couple in otherwise chaotic and turbulent relationships of our friends / family around us. I will admit that the first 3yrs, despite having a child, it was a little weird, but kind of in a positive way looking back. We always spoke to each other respectfully, and then it slowly broke away into more casual speaking. At this stage, I couldn't imagine anyone else as my wife, and feel that we were meant to be - no matter how we came to be together.
Not all television and movies are loved by all.
A story and its characters have to appeal to you in order for you to be engaged.
It can take next to nothing for us to lose interest and let the screen go black.
Redditor BarooTangClan wanted to compare notes on all the entertainment we've said "that's enough" to.
"What will make you instantly stop watching a movie or show and why?"
I hate bad acting, writing, storytelling... I hate bad anything.
Stop JumpingFight Scene GIF by Operation FortuneGiphy
"Fight scenes with a million visual cuts. Gives me motion sickness. Contrast the absolutely masterful work in John Wick. long cuts, realistic use of weapons (mostly), 100% skill."
"When the actors whisper the whole movie and you have to crank the volume to hear what's being said - but the soundtrack or some other misc noise starts blaring at a higher volume directly after."
"I basically had to watch Stranger Things up in my attic with the windows and doors closed. I was worried the neighbors would think something was wrong or be annoyed if I watched it downstairs in my single family home. It was ridiculous."
"spice things up"
"Love triangles out of no where in a second or third season to 'spice things up' because studio writers are hacks and their idea of relationship drama is 'potential infidelity' at all times. It's the most tired trope on the go**amn planet and the second I see it rear its head I dip right the hell out."
"The whole concept of a love triangle to begin with an incredibly juvenile. Any healthy functioning adult who found themselves in a love triangle would soon choose to find themselves single."
Save your lips...
"When couples in a movie/show have a fight and one of them instantly goes to a friend and end up kissing her/him after talking for 5 minutes. I cringe so hard i turn it off and never watch it again."
"This pissed me off so much in Manifest. Girl is desperate to get back her ex-fiancé, he finally breaks up with his wife to get back with her and she's like 'nah, it's not fair to your wife, let me do this other dude I just met through a calling and be pissed at you for being jealous.' Michaela was the worst and everyone acted as if she were a saint the entire time."
Talk to MeIn Love Flirt GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Shows where a single polite conversation could fix everything."
We are going overboard with the witty repartee. Talk normal...
Shut UpScared Home Alone GIF by FreeformGiphy
"Annoying main character, especially if it's a kid."
"Kids who have a quippy, sassy retort to everything, and everyone just kind of crumbles before their wit."
"Shows where kids in high school talk like they are 30 years olds who have done everything, been everywhere, know it all and use a ridiculously flowery and extensive vocabulary in every conversation. Like, have any of these writers ever been to high school? Literally no one talks like that. Even worse is when, in addition to this, all the adults talk normal or are just plain stupid, like so weird parallel universe."
"If the movie is too dark. Not graphic, just literally dark. I lose all sense of intensity in dark scenes and I'm not straining my damn eyes trying to figure out what the hell is going on."
"I've seen about 10 percent of all DC movies recently. I've seen all of the individual films in full, just actually saw 10% of each of them."
"Movies in the late 80s had a lot of dark but you could see the depth because of different shooting techniques. Now you cant see crap because its a CGI fest drowned in black color so you can't see crap because you have no depth in a scene. Compare night scenes in dark alleys in 80's movies and movies now. Utter crap show in the new ones."
Pay Attention Storytellers
"Bad editing would be a big one. A lot of modern horror movies can't help but edit the movies like they're trailers, with added noises to scare the audience because they are afraid the script alone isn't enough to keep people watching."
"I remember this is where the first transformers movie lost me. When the transformers are fighting at the end, it's all a big, jumbled mess of metal and I can barely tell what's going on or who is who."
Dramawill devry soap opera GIF by General HospitalGiphy
"When they go straight to relationship drama right away when it wasn't the selling point of the show."
Do better, Hollywood. It's not that hard.
I fear death.
I wake up in cold sweats dreaming about it.
I think about it in my waking hours.
It's an obsession and clearly, I'm not alone.
But there are more preferred ways to exit.
All we can do is hope to be lucky enough to skip the mercilessly awful.
Please just let me go quick and in my sleep.
RedditorCallMehRiverwanted to hear about all the ways none of us what to leave this life.
"What Do You Think Would Be The Worst Death Imaginable?"
My list of the worst deaths is long. My imagination runs amok.
Trappedseason 6 friends GIFGiphy
"For me? Being trapped in a small tube or cave (like the ones you have to wiggle through) and getting stuck to where you can’t move your arms. And all you can do is wait to die. I’m getting chills just thinking about it."
"The more I hear about cavers that get stuck, the more I think that's a crap way to go."
"There’s a great YouTube channel called Ask a Mortician and this was her #1 worse way to die. I can’t remember the exact details or their names, but two well-known divers went into an underwater cave."
"One of them became entangled and died. Years later, his friend dives back down there to try and retrieve his body, the body itself is rotten and his head comes off and the other guy also becomes tangled and dies. Really sad."
A Long Process
"Believed to be in a coma but coherent through the whole 20 year process until they pull the plug."
"Oh man this just reminded me of a story I read on here about a guy who lost the ability to move and speak but was completely conscious. Had to just lay there and be awake but trapped in a useless body. His family thought he was brain dead or something and he couldn’t communicate to them that he was 'all there.' Crazy"
Slow & Steady
"Being slowly impaled by a growing bamboo. It was a form of torture probably used by the japanese during WW2 against Allied prisoners."
"The scariest part is that once you have symptoms, you 100% will die. A 100% mortality rate has to be a psychological torture in itself."
"Not only that, you feel irrational fear. Your brain is literally being eaten apart by the virus and it fu*ks up everything on it. You can't drink water because it hurts you. You feel dizzy, present a fever, excessively salivate, everything hurts and it only gets worse. I'd rather take a bullet and die when the symptoms are still tolerable."
Why can't we all just go engulfed in calm and quiet?
"Some pulpy sci-fi book I read a while back had one of the best deaths of this real piece of crap bad guy. Left to die in a drowning sea lab under the Antarctic ice, he freezes himself in a state of the art suspended animation pod with some kind cold fusion power source that would keep it running for millions of years."
"But he forgot to inject himself with the drug that would put him to sleep. So basically he is in suspended animation at the bottom of the Antarctic ocean while his mind is perfectly awake and conscious in a near unbreakable machine that won't run out of power for millions of years and nobody knows about it."
"As an RN I have always thought that the worst way to die (natural process) is ALS. Lou Gehrig's Disease."
"My mom and grandmother have Huntington's disease, which is essentially ALS, Alzheimer's, and Dementia combined into one really messed up genetic disease. I have a 50% chance of inheriting it and if I hit 40 and there's still no cure I can't promise I'll feel like continuing on with my life because that disease is absolutely freaking miserable."
"The fact your chromosomes can be so destroyed your body basically lost it's genetic code and with it the ability to make any new cells. It's literally a 'dead man walking' and you slowly rot away in agony. Stuff is so unimaginably f**ked up."
"What's also bad about radiation is that it affects your nerves and brain cells last, so you have everything in place to feel all the pain of the rest of your cells being destroyed."
GooNot Listening Season 2 GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy
"I want to believe anything that slowly kills you painfully to be the worst. Such as slowly being crushed or something where the pain is beyond compare and yet not enough to throw you into shock or unconsciousness."
"Alternatively, being rapidly crushed into goo would probably be the least painful. I'm talking one of those massive industrial hammers they use for large steel work. Basically smooshed before the nerve signals make it to the brain."
Now I'll never sleep again without nightmares of death.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Most Americans think nothing of their humdrum daily activities or amenities available to them.
However, others with a different perspective might romanticize the things that are otherwise commonplace ideas and concepts for US citizens, like going to a diner or riding the school bus.
One Redditor looked to foreigners to hear of their American desires to respond to the following:
"Non-Americans of Reddit: what is an American thing you have always wanted to try?"
The things depicted in film really captivated foreign audiences.
"To visit a diner like in the movies. In the middle of the night, it’s raining and just a few people there with great music from a jukebox."
Iconic Student Transport
"Ride a yellow school bus even if I'm too old. Growing up I always loved seeing them on TV."
Just Like The Ones We Used To Know
"A white Christmas."
"Living in an Australian state where I've never even seen snow in our winter, let alone experiencing that classic Hallmark movie moment of waking up to a street full of it and sitting around a fireplace while opening gifts/preparing a feast."
"Guess it's not strictly American, but the imagery and trope is something I've only really seen from American Films."
They may be ubiquitous for us, but they sure seem to be novel ideas to foreigners.
Let's Be Frank
"One of the hotdogs from those little street cart things."
"A friend of mine from Indonesia said, 'the food chewer in the sink.'"
"Apple Pie made by white-haired grandma, placed near window, who says 'oh dear...' as I levitate towards it."
"Proper tailgating before a ball game, the kind where there's ribs and stuff."
"Deep fried foods at a state fair. I'm from Scotland and we love to deep fry everything and I wanna know if it's just as good or better."
There are places to see!
Places To See
"America’s greatest invention!"
Backpacking In Nature
"I always wanted to hike The Appalachian Trail if that counts. Or see Yellowstone."
"Being able to start a whole new life 'elsewhere' without having to leave my country and going through an arduous immigration process."
My cousin told me she looks forward to visiting a Trader Joe's someday when she visits America for the first time.
Her bucket list option was hardly surprising. My parents used to bring treats from TJs as a novelty souvenir gift item, and my relatives ate it up. Literally.
Let's face it. The snacks at TJs rocks.
Even store locations in New York City would have ridiculously long lines during busy hours because the West-coast-based grocer was a novelty on the East Coast.
Many people work hard from the moment they are on the clock until their respective shifts are over at the end of a long day.
For many of those in the workforce, the wages barely sustain a comfortable living, especially for those who are raising a family.
Yet, there are jobs that are known to pay a higher salary without requiring extreme physical labor, or the requirement of higher education.
Curious to hear what those jobs might be, Redditor ImAMasterBayter asked:
"People Break Down Which Professions Are Completely Overpaid"
Extensive training requirements are not a thing, apparently, with these professions.
Daily Dairy Duty
"I watch milk powder go into a bag and out on a conveyor and get paid $37 an hour."
Eyeing Dirt In Motion
"Mine? I get paid $20.50 a hr to watch dirt go by on a belt all day."
The Handy Man Is Happy To Help
"I am a handy man that charges $50/hr with a 3hr minimum, a couple months ago I got a call for service that consisted of changing 9 smoke detector batteries, 2 light bulbs, and rehanging a picture. I felt bad taking the money but the guy couldn’t have been happier to have that stuff finally done. He asked for my card and is now a very good client."
Words From An Appraiser
"I make about 40 an hour after tax in the US as a real estate appraiser. You just need a college degree and a year of training and there is a huge shortage of appraisers right now."
"Edit because this post blew up: I only perceive this job as being overpaid because I used spent most of my 20's making pizza for minimum wage and imposter syndrome is a thing. Also, OP said he was looking for a possible career, and I felt like my job post was better than a troll post."
"Appraisers are not real estate agents or brokers. I do not buy or sell property."
"I do not, 'look at zillow and copy the number' and I don't just, 'make the number' in valuation. While I agree there are some appraisers who may lie or exaggerate, the same could be said of nearly any job. However, if I were to intentionally try hit some goal and got caught fudging the numbers, I'm looking at permanently losing my license and possible jail time depending on the severity. It's actually pretty common for me to, 'tank a deal' if someone is paying too much. This isn't the wild west of valuation anymore; FIRREA is a thing now. Appraisal reports aren't just 3 pages of photos with a cover page anymore; my typical appraisal is 30-50 pages with long boring typed pages of market data that I type and research myself."
"Let's talk about the appraisal gap. In most of the US, we are experiencing a, 'sellers market' meaning houses are selling for higher than what they normally sell for. A lot of people at this thread are blaming appraisers for driving housing prices up. Let me be perfectly clear about this: appraiser's valuations are based off of past data. That is it; we look at closed sales from the past. Realtors and brokers speculate on future markets, because they are motivated by profit. If anyone is driving this current market trend, it is the people buying properties over listing price, local government/laws willingness to allow foreign investors, the people who are raising rents, and the people who are making big risky developments. The appraisers have little to nothing to do with market perception of value; in my area at least many market participants are paying over 30% of listing price. Trust me when I say these people are not satisfied when my appraised value comes in less than that."
"The hardest part of the job is definitely the occasional angry phone call. Let's look at an example. Say someone lists their house at 100k, and they accept an offer for 150k, or 50% over listing. Well the appraisal is based off of past closed sales. The bank will only finance up to the appraised value. So if the appraisal comes in at 110k, meaning the subject in relation to comparable sales from the past year in the subject neighborhood equate to roughly 110k, they will either need to renegotiate the price, or be willing to put up 40k of their own money."
"In a sellers market, it's often better to accept a deal with better financing than a higher price. Let's say in this situation instead of taking the 150k offer with a mortgage, you take a smaller offer for 140k that is all cash, no financing. Well if there is no financing involved, meaning no bank, than no appraisal is needed."
Landing work in software seems to be like hitting the jackpot of success.
"I’m in software sales, software sales. Coworker got 100k commission on a deal."
"There are an incredible amount of 'analysts' who just 'own' automated excel sheets they received from developer teams."
"Low to mid six figures is common in HCOL areas."
The Successful Client
"I do the tax returns for a guy who paid 20k for demographic research software and made something like 40M over the last 3 years. His costs are almost nothing and admitted he does like 5 hours of work a week on it."
"I got more likes and comments than I thought I would, and wanted to add some more detail. The guy himself is super nice and easy to work with. It's hard not to feel jealous even though I make good money myself. His business and personal returns are super simple so we don't even charge him that much for them."
"The software is something proprietary he paid a third party for, and I don't know the name of that developer. The data output is sold to political campaigns and he's compensated more if the campaign wins. He did have some clients on both sides but now exclusively works on one side of the aisle."
Salaries in the world of academics got a closer inspection.
"University administrators and board members."
A Stark Contrast
"I'm a professor. I love it. But the 'president's office' contains a staff of 5 people with a total payroll of just under $500k/year. Meanwhile, all the PhDs, MFAs, and DMAs who teach all the classes, advise all the students, and serve on all the committees bring home a whopping $50k-$65k/year, dependent on rank, tenure, etc. It's real fun...
"The president of my institution makes a approximately $500k/year and is provided a house on campus alongside reserved parking if he so chooses to use it. He also gets a country club membership. Meanwhile I have to pay $200 to park at the school where I TA and do research, and I get paid maybe 1/20th of what he does. I genuinely do not understand why the f'k the dude who makes six figures doesn't pay for parking, but I do."
"Edit: that should be half a million."
Some of the cushiest jobs that require less time actively toiling away seem to be paying significantly more than the average livable wage offered in the US.
Perhaps the biggest indicator of what that might be was summed up best by Redditor iadasr, who said:
"Whatever you guys are all doing that lets you browse Reddit all day..."