They didn't like how my car looked so they gave me a new one.
Thanks to all the awesome people on Reddit who shared their experiences. Source in each username.
1. I babysat for some neighbors when I lived in New Mexico. Very rich lawyers with a boy (about 8 years old, named Tyler, as in Tyler Durden, should've been a sign...), and a girl (about 5 years old).
Before the parents even left, the little girl was on the monkeybars in the backyard, and whipped her panties off to pee in the breeze. After the parents left, the boy let [himself] go full steam. He still peed the bed, so he was under orders to wear diapers. Refused to put them on. Refused to brush his teeth. Wanted another bedtime book, and another, and another, and another.....oh wait, he wants the book from daddy's shelf, with the topless Polynesian girls in it....no, he doesn't want tap water, he wants the special filtered water, he can totally taste the difference.
I figured out why the parents built their master suite 100+ ft from the children's rooms. Found out later Tyler claimed I beat him or some nonsense like that because I made him brush his teeth. Never again.
2. How tight they were with money. I would even go so far as to say selective rather than stingy.
3. My roommate nannied for a billionaire who had 7 kids. Only the first kid, a girl, was actually conceived and born from his wife. The other 6 were all carried by surrogate mothers, and they were all sex-selected so they're all boys. Yeah.
"It's SICK, right? RIGHT? Sometimes I look at him, and I hate him. He watched me grow up. Why did he want to marry me??" She only married him to make her family happy.
4. My younger sister nannies for an wealthy couple, and she's mentioned a few things that really threw her off at first.
The biggest thing was how uninvolved they are with their daughter's life. She was born early in October, and by the end of the month, my sister was already spending 80+ hours a week with her. The husband has only been home one day since she started working for them and the wife is gone from 6am-9pm every day.
Then, it was how casual they are with money. They've offered to pay for work on her car countless times, and the wife gave my sister all of her Christmas decorations from last year. Most of them still had their tags on them. She spent $20/ornament and didn't even use them.
5. A few things...
-The drama that is just like TV. The dad in the family I nannied for had a secret daughter and other family for 5 years.
- How money was just thrown around. A $500 rocking chair is the wrong shade of orange? Just throw it in the garbage and go buy a new one. Daughters are fighting with each other over their Barbie dream houses? Calm them down by taking them to the American Girl store for new dolls and then get them a blowout afterwards.
-And yet, despite this, they forgot to pay their bills for three months and got the gas turned off in their house.
6. I work for a middling-wealthy family, have been for two years. My girls don't think they're well-off because they don't have a tennis court or a rock wall, but they know kids who do. They just have no idea how much money they have. The younger one doesn't realize why it's innapproproate to joke about how much money she has stashed away for "chores." She doesn't realize that it's more than I earn in weeks, and that she didn't actually earn it.
7. I used to be an au pair for a super rich family in China. The funny thing was that they already had a nanny. She was extremely poor and had to give a bratty kid everything she couldn't afford for her own kids. The kid even kicked her and she simply tolerated it. The weirdest thing was that whenever we went somewhere as a family (Continue this story on the next page)
The weirdest thing was that whenever we went somewhere as a familyshe was the one taking care of the child while the mother was talking to others. She even slept in his room while his mom had her own bedroom. Personally, I just couldn't deal with how spoiled and entitled the child was. They literally told me it didn't matter if he respected me, he just had to like me.
8. A good friend of mine is a nanny for a very wealthy couple. They own and live in an entire brownstone type building. I think they're both lawyers. He is the source of the wealth, which is largely inherited. He has a job, but it's the kind of job where he never has to show up or do much work at all and it pays him hundreds of thousands a year.
Every day, the wife goes to her job. The husband goes to his floor of the house that nobody is allowed to bother him on. He spends the day smoking pot and lazing about like he's Jeff Lebowski.
That's it. That's all he does. But he doesn't want his kids bothering him, so he locks himself away to pretend he's still in college or something and pays my friend to raise his kid for him.
They're nice enough people. My friend likes her job. But I'll never be able to have much respect for a dude who has all the time and money in the world and he uses it to sequester himself away from his own kids, get high, and watch movies all day.
9. I do tutoring for a wealthy family, and despite the fact that they seem to have come from fairly average backgrounds, they really have no concept of how normal people think of money. I was talking about visiting the library after a session, and they were confused by the fact that I didn't just buy all the books I wanted to read. They also pay me every six months or so, and seem confused that I want money so often - they're good for it, after all. They fly their kids home from their high school sports tours (they play in tournaments all over the continent) to take a driving test and think nothing of it.
They're good people, but weird.
10. In 2013, I was a substitute teacher at a private high school in a very wealthy area. This allowed me to back into multiple tutoring opportunities. I was advised by the front office lady to not advertise an hourly rate. The rates suggested by the families baffled me. $50-100/hr. I also worked at a sporting goods store and made ~$9/hr. The main kid I tutored was embarrassed by his parents wealth (surgeon and family doctor) and where they lived.
Another family I worked for, had a Tesla before they were more common. They wanted me to work for them but I did not have a nice enough car (Ford five-hundred sedan), to drive their children. They were arranging a brand new Chevy Tahoe as a spare vehicle for them but for my use.
All about the status symbols I guess.
11. I briefly worked with a wealthy family a few months ago before I had to leave the job because it was just unbearable. They were pretty nice to me, but terrible to their kid. The kid was 6, for context. These things were more sad than crazy.
The saddest thing I saw was how much money they spent on themselves and paying me, and how little they spent on their kid. I was being paid pretty well (enough to almost match what I was making at my primary job while working half as many hours), the parents would be buying new iPhones, new clothes, wine, etc. Their kid however, had clothes that didn't fit, broken toys that were "too expensive to replace", wasn't enrolled in any after school activities either because it "cost money".
Some other things I noticed was how uninvolved and bad at parenting they were. The kid was 6 still wearing diapers because he hadn't been fully potty trained. When I asked about it, they actually said (Continue this story on the next page)
"Oh we just never fully got around to it, he's scared to go to the bathroom because one time we spanked him because he peed on the floor". He was completely undisciplined and whenever I told him no, he would try and hit me, scream at the top of his lungs, try and bite himself. One time I was with the mom and him in the store, and he tried to take a bunch of candy from a shelf and eat it, and I said he has to wait for his mom to pay for it first, and he LOST it. Tried knocking over shelves, ran around screaming, tried hitting OTHER people, and swearing up a storm. His mom LEFT the store, and said oh that's too much for me to handle, that's why you're here.
In the end I just quit because I couldn't stand them as parents or people. They were so arrogant, always neglecting their children. The day I left, they wouldn't even let me say goodbye to their son, who was crying watching me from a window as I walked to my car. I guess they trained him not to say hi to me and give me nasty looks when I see them in town, because they'll go out of their way to avoid me if we make eye contact in town.
12. How much help they have, and how little time they spend with their own kids! It's gotten a bit more normal now but when I started (kids were 5 months and 3) the mum had 7 more months of maternity leave, I worked 2 days per week, they had another uni student part time for another two days, a full time nanny on Fridays and a house cleaner that came twice a week.
Sometimes I go to work and BOTH parents are there just hanging out while I play with the kids - and they pay me well so it's not like it's cheap! Idk I often get the feeling that they just had kids because they got older and it's expected, not because they actually wanted them.
13. Not really part of the job, but that customer's (yacht cleaning) didn't care how poor the cleaner was. I pull out my flip phone to answer a call and they just kinda turn away like it's gross. One guy dropped his iPhone in the ocean by mistake, said "oops" and grabbed another from a kitchen drawer.
14. Not a nanny but I used to work at a golf club in a very rich community and people would just drop their kids off at the club and we would end up essentially babysitting them in the restaurant. We had one kid who was probably 11 and he was so stingy. He would complain about any upcharge, how our meals didn't give enough for their price, and how what we sold was way cheaper at the store. (which obviously he was way too young to understand overhead costs)
One time after about 10 minutes of his ranting over how he had to pay more for milk than you would in a store I just pointed out to him "I get that its annoying, but we couldn't even buy one meal with an hours worth of pay before taxes."
The LOOK on this kids face was just shock. You could tell he had not true concept of money and earning it and that some people got vastly more than others. He never complained to me about cost again and would often tell them adult golfers how unfair it was that we weren't paid enough. (in his opinion)
Makes me wonder how affluent people teach their children about money beyond to complain about having to use it.
15. The family I work for right now is very wealthy- the live on fifth ave right across from central park. Three things. The first is the clothes. The girls have numerous name brand clothing items- Burberry, Ralph Lauren, Vineyard Vines, Lilly Pulitzer, etc. The 6 year olds backpack was 85 bucks. I get wanting your kids to have nice things to wear, but they're growing fast, and that [stuff's] expensive. The 3 year old outgrew her wardrobe last year, it was all replaced with the same expensive stuff.
Next would have to be scheduling. They want there children to be successful in life, I get it. But every day is (Continued on the next page!)
something- piano, ballet, tennis, Chinese lessons and squash. They have no time to play.
The last part, which is a bit more sad if you ask me, is the lack of connect in the girls and their parents relationship. It could be as simple as scheduling- for instance, the mom doesn't know when ballet and tennis is, I do, or as intense as worries and fears. They confide in me and when I bring it up with the mom she's surprised to learn they're not just always happy because they have nice things. There's definitely something missing there and it shows. The 3 year old slips up and calls me "mama" constantly and it breaks my heart.
16. How incompetent they are. I worked as a nanny for a few months for a wealthy family with two kids to make extra money while in college. I had to get up every morning to get the kids ready for school and then walk them to school because the mom couldn't do it herself. Also the mom wouldn't go anywhere without a nanny present for the kids. Play date at the playground with another family? I would go and watch her kids while she would just sit there and chat with the other parent. It was so weird. Unsurprisingly I was one of 5 nannies they had coming around every week. They spent close to $1000 a week on nannies but didn't want to commit to getting a live in.
17. My mom was a nanny for a couple of rich corporate lawyers years ago. I always remember her saying that at Christmas the kids would get tired from opening so many presents. The unopened gifts would get put away and some weren't opened until months later.
18. I once nannied for a family who had a small room with board games/table top games lining the walls (as an indication of wealth) I was called in on weekends to spend time with the 6 year old and play games with him - basically do anything he asked of me. A majority of the time the mom and grandma were home and in their own room. Once the mom and dad were home and napping. I was basically being paid good money to play with the kid. Of course, the kid was incredibly bossy and fussy when he didn't get his own way. I also received a text after my first few sessions saying that I could bring my own lunch and use their fridge; don't worry, no one has any allergies.
19. The woman played WOW all day and ate spaghetti-o's, the husband was always away, and she was never with her baby. Also, she had a surrogate with twins on the way! I never understood their family or why she wanted more kids.
20. I worked for an extremely wealthy family and when I was going to eat lunch with the kids, I was told "the help" eats in the kitchen. I quit soon after that.
21. I was not nanny, but rather a sort of a personal 'fun activity' guide for three extremely rich children. As in these kids were four places removed from literal royalty.
They held a party to celebrate when one of the kids 'graduated' from P5 which would be the American equivalent of 5th or 6th grade. This was not anything like a birthday party or a trip to Chucky Cheese's. It was held on one of their estates and involved three different caterers. One was for the hors d'oeuvres, one for the main course and one for the desserts. This is not counting the two bartenders - one for adults and another for the underage crowd. By my estimate, they spent over $20,000 on this affair. It was mind boggling.
They invited my father who lives with me as a matter of etiquette, though I was not sure if they expected him to actually attend. I used half my paycheck to buy him something that would not look like he was there as the gardener's tool carrier. He protested that he would not know anyone there but I told him it did not matter. I would introduce him to the parents, their children and the immediate staff and that is all he would need to worry about. He grudgingly accepted.
So we are there and I am working with one of the DJs on setting up the equipment. My dad was enjoying the immense swimming pool and the amazing food. Once he got there, he lost all sense of self consciousness and somehow fit right in. Maybe it was the fact that he changed into a bathing suit and that is sort of an equalizer for everyone.
Anyway, we got the sound system setup and then I was asked to help with the bounce house. This was one that could have been straight out of a Class A Theme Park. It was a huge castle that had a dragon lying on the ground with his tail curled all the way around it. That took well over an hour to get staked down, inflated, and tested out.
So then they tell me I am OK to take a 30 minute break for some food. By this time the place is packed. Easily a hundred adult and child guests. I go over to the buffet and fill my plate. Here is where I finally realized how far apart our worlds were. I was shocked to find ()
I was shocked to find that there were no paper plates one might expect to find. They were literally using these Royal Albert china dishes at a kid's party. I had my food and was about to sit down when this kid throws a huge beach ball my way, yelling "Think fast!" Well I did not, and I ended up dropping the plate on the ground. It shattered into thousands of pieces. I felt horrible. No one even blinked once. Someone came by, swept it all up and the day carried on as if nothing happened. That plate cost 60.00. I turned around and someone else had already grabbed another one and filled it up with the same food I had chosen before.
That night I asked my dad what he thought of that whole scene. He muttered something about a huge waste of money. But then he said he was extremely disappointed with me because he said I embarrassed him in front of his "new friends". That was 2 years ago, and he still blames me that they never call him back. Somehow I think he does not get it yet.
23. The craziest part was this ultra wealthy couple, whose bedroom is about as big as my house, stiffed me my last pay check.
24. I have a close friend who was a nanny for a couple years. She routinely called me to vent about the parents. She was paid well and had many perks but she was a live in so she was always there and was frequently asked to help on her days off.
I flew out to visit her for her birthday weekend for birthday shenanigans. She had previously asked her employers if she could have that Friday off seeing as she had company coming in. They gave her this huge guilt trip then refused. The dad ended up having the day off and spent it alone up in his study then proceeded to go to the gym and meet friends while I helped my friend watch the kids.
25. I once worked for a billionaire family and there were a ton of weird things that went on in the family. It was only the mom bringing in most of the money. Anyway, the dad was stay at home, but didn't really want to be responsible for his two kids, so I was hired! There were entire rooms of the house that the kids weren't allowed inside, and I never saw anyone else go in either. They must have had at least 5 regular staff members at the house (landscape, cook, nanny (me), and other people who were there for god knows what). The kids were never given any rules, and sometimes the dad would randomly get bored and come hang out with us for a couple hours, just wanting a friend (me) to hang out with. It was kind of like I was hired to be a nanny for the kids and a standby friend for the dad. Very weird. The weirdest part? The parents often texted me bizarre requests after hours to pay me to do extra things here and there. I didn't mind, because I needed the money and they paid well, but it was usually things that they just couldn't be bothered to do Here are a few:
- "Our son can't finish his project and we don't have time to help him. If we send you the papers do you think you could do it for him tonight?" Took me 10 minutes, 50 bucks.
- "Do you think you could look up a good recipe for soup?" No specificity here, just soup. I sent them my grandma's recipe. Made 50$ thanks Grandma!
- "We're thinking of ordering new blinds. Could you pick them out?" 30 minutes, 200 bucks.
-"We think our son might be looking at porn. Could you go through our internet history and let us know?" (this one wasn't off hours, I just did it while the kids were doing their homework. Instead of ratting him out, I had a conversation with the boy about how it's perfectly natural but how porn creates very unrealistic expectations of what sex is. Then I taught him how to delete his internet history. Yeah, I'd like to think I'm a cool nanny."
- "Would you mind doing the Christmas shopping this year?" They sent me a list that the kids had written. It included an iphone each (they're 6 and 9), about 20 random toys, designer clothing, and a real vending machine. I went on Amazon and ordered everything to their neighbour's house, (who was a total sweetheart) and brought it over the next day. They told me to order whatever I wanted for myself up to 1000$. Took approximately 1 hr of my time.
27. My friend's son is an exceptionally well paid banker in NYC. His grandchild (just one) has 4 nannies. At 2 this child couldn't walk because it gets carried everywhere, can only speak Spanish because that is the only language it hears. The walking thing is a problem because if the kid can't stand up properly how on earth is it going to learn to ski?
You may have heard of the phrase "retail therapy" before, which is the act of buying things for personal enjoyment.
Well, there's some truth to that.
The University of Michigan actually studied the affects of shopping on our sadness levels. Purchasing something you enjoy can actually decrease sadness 40 times better than not purchasing something.
There are tons of other benefits like dopamine increases, anxiety reduction and improved mood. We wanted to know what people are buying to give them that rush of happy hormones and increase their joy.
Redditor greyblacknavytan asked:
"What can you buy for $75 or less that will provide the most happiness?"
It might be time to start a wish list!
A sweet treat.
"The chocolate bar I’m eating right now is doing it for me. It's a Tony’s Chocolonely milk chocolate sea salt and caramel."
"$75 of Tony’s is a great use of money imo."
The amino acids in chocolate actually change our brain patterns to make us happy, so definitely a good investment.
Your neck will thank you.
"Get a nice pillow. So worth it. I got the a memory foam one from Amazon for $50. My neck is in premature heaven."
"Memory foam pillows are hit or miss. For me, they're all miss. Feels like I'm resting my head on a rock."
"I was the same way until I got a pillow that you stuff to your own firmness with shredded memory foam. It has the feel of a memory foam pillow but it's 'fluffier' if that makes sense. Add to that the customizability of the firmness and you have a perfect pillow IMHO. Just don't throw the extra stuffing away immediately, sleep on it for a while and adjust as needed."
Splurge on some nice food.
"I'm poor but not so poor that food is the main concern. What I mean is some nice cuts of meat, chanterelles, russet potatoes, cream, a nice wine and the rest for beer. I could make a meal for kings on that. It would make me so happy!"
"For sure, similarly you could even provide a meal for a group of friends for that amount which would make a group of people happy."
Invest in your hobbies.
"Invest in a hobby like good hiking boots or high quality yarn for knitting or so on. Hobbies keep you happier, healthier, and can help you make new friends."
"Good hiking boots are going to cost more than $75."
"Save money by buying just one boot."
11 years of happiness.
"I paid the Humane Society about $75 when I adopted my cat; he has thus far provided me with 11 years of affection."
For something silly.
"Googly eyes and some blue tack."
"This is my favorite first date. Just walk around sticking googly eyes to stuff together. It's always so much fun."
"Another one I really liked was leaving sweet notes in books in a bookstore."
"We took some notecards and wrote a short paragraph or two about a favorite book. What we'd enjoyed about it, how we wished we could read it again for the first time, that we were excited the new owner of the book is on the verge of that experience. We signed them with our (common) first names, but included no other contact information."
"Then we snuck them into books in a bookstore."
"It was a super fun date."
"I clicked on this thinking I'd be enlightened by some suggestions... Instead, everyone is telling me to do drugs, go to the gym, and relax with a vibrator."
"OK... You all convinced me. I'm going to buy a vibrator."
"Vibrators are pretty enlightening tbh."
Make a donation.
"3 cataract [treatments] to restore sight via the Fred Hollows foundation."
This can apply to any foundation of your choosing! You're sharing joy with those who need it.
"100% a bidet. A clean butthole makes for a happy day."
"Bidets are so underrated. I just don't feel clean without it anymore, yk?"
Maybe you don't have $75 to spend right now.
Well, even the act of filling up your online shopping cart and hitting "save for later" can give a rush a dopamine.
You're definitely worth that little bit of joy from buying that item that's been sitting in your cart for weeks.
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When we think of a "hero" we might think of someone in a cape who's saving civilians from terror. Or maybe we think of the essential workers we've called heroes throughout the pandemic.
Heroism is simply defined as "great bravery," according to Oxford Languages.
If being a hero is about showing courage, bravery and strength, heroic feats happen all around us every day with ordinary people.
Redditor thejppass asked:
"What takes significantly more heroism than people recognize?"
People on AskReddit shared what they thought made a hero.
Going against the grain.
"Saying no in room full of people saying yes because there is a reason to say no."
"It's especially brave when you consider it goes against a lot of instinctual human behaviour."
"We are partially meant to agree with the masses, for social acceptance and a few other reasons. Or at least not act against the masses and make a big show."
"It helps to be aware of this in a way."
"It's even harder when you know there might be repercussions for going against your superiors."
Getting out of toxic relationships.
"To walk away from a toxic relationship."
"Toxic family relationships."
"I think a hard part of toxic relationships is that there was enough "good stuff" to get into the relationship in the first place, and often people try to stay in the relationship to fix it or patch it up to try to get back to the idealized good part."
"That's why it's so hard to walk away from those relationships, compared to someone you are indifferent to."
Walking away from a fight.
"Walking away from a fight, I have been in situations where people were provoking me and saying the most horrible things they could think of to get me to lash out, walking away from those situations and looking weak (even though it took more strength) was probably the hardest thing I have ever done."
"One incident that made me know I was in love with my husband was when we were dating and some asshole guy in a bar tried to pick a fight with him. Instead of getting into it he turned to me and said 'let's get out of here.' As we were walking away he said 'damn that guy was big I sure didn't want to have to fight him' and he got laid that night instead of getting his a** kicked."
Or maybe finishing the fight.
"Standing up to a bully."
"My biggest regret of my childhood is not beating the sh*t out of at least one of my bullies the countless chances I had, but to this day I understand why I didn’t. I vividly remember the feeling of fear and how small I’d feel in their presence. Could have easily taken a couple of them, but that wasn’t even an option in my mind as soon as I got to school every day"
Admitting when you're wrong.
"Admitting (to yourself most importantly) that you’re being selfish/are wrong about something."
"Sometimes admitting your not selfish can be just as hard for some people too."
When the party's over.
"Asking people to leave your house at the end of a party."
"We had this issue on New years eve. My girlfriend just started cleaning around everyone. She said it's the universal 'you ain't gotta go home but you gotta get the hell outta here.' It worked."
"Slap your thighs as you stand up and say 'welp..'"
"Being publicly vulnerable."
"Specially as a man... its easier to act though. We push people away while its lonely its far more manageable. If you show vulnerability the consequences are far worse. It takes a lot of courage. Its much harder to show vulnerability. I know it first hand."
Donating an organ.
"Donating an organ (while alive). It's a lot of time to figure out if you're a match, first off, going to lab tests initially then other health tests. Once confirm match, having to go through the procedure itself."
"You could be a healthy donor but then not so healthy after the procedure, or your donation may not go over well with the new host. But if it all works out, whether or not you know the person receiving the organ, it's an amazing thing."
"The guilt and the heart break when it doesn't go well I wouldn't wish on anyone."
Being a full time caretaker.
"Caring for a loved one 24/7."
"Being the long term caregiver for an ill family member."
Heroism comes in all shapes, sizes, and forms.
It's no surprise that some of the most brave acts are about being emotionally vulnerable and standing up for what you believe in.
As the saying goes, heroes don't always wear capes.
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They say good things come in small packages—as a lifelong member of the "Never hit 5 feet tall" club it's a phrase I've had thrown at me often.
It's right up there with "small but mighty" and "people mcnugget."
It's popular because there's a fair bit of truth to it, though.
When it comes to some things, smaller is just flat out better.
Reddit user RasheenHyuga asked:
"What’s something that’s better when it’s smaller?"
We expected—and skipped over—the talk about butt stuff. Nobody is here to shame the size queens.
We did not, unfortunately, expect nor skip over the stuff about spiders.
We had to read it, so now you do too.
Differing Dad Approaches
"Pills/capsules shaped medicines."
"I have this difficulties swallowing hard capsules/tablets, if I'm aware."
"My dad used to hide them into fruits so I was not too anxious about it and not too bitter if I had to chew them."
"As a child, my father said that I’d need to learn how to dry-swallow pills in case there’s a world war & clean water is rationed."
"Kittens and puppies. They’re so cute when they’re tiny and I just wanna pick them up and hug them all!"
"Kittens, because when they grow up, they become bitches."
"I'm gonna get hate but dogs."
"I really like little dogs because they're like little wolves...but not! They're pocket companions and, if trained properly, can be well behaved and loving!"
"Yeah, having a large dog that can do stuff is awesome - but having a mini wolf you can shove in your back pack and take wherever is even cooler in my opinion. You'll never be alone because they're portable!"
"On a subway? Pocket dog."
"In a store? Pocket dog."
"Riding a bike? Pocket dog."
"The amount of Uno cards you're holding"
"I wouldn't mind a few more if they are all wild cards"
"Especially if it’s a plus 4 or plus 2!"
"The amount of Uno cards you're holding - while also remembering to say Uno on the last card. Learn from my mistakes..."
Bills, Bills, Bills
"A duck would disagree with you."
"Hospital bills in the USA is the obvious answer."
"With the hospital bills in the US right now, I totally agree."
"I got some old painkillers, tweezers, hydrogen peroxide, liquor, gauze & duct tape. I'll be fine."
The Small C
"It's never good, but it's better if it's smaller. I had a low grade Glioma (pre-cancer, caught it early) scraped/removed out of my skull, hell ya!"
"Statistically 60% of people don’t know they have one until they have the first seizure. That's what happened to me but I had other symptoms like light sensitivity, vision rainbows, exhaustion, insomnia, etc."
"I work on a computer everyday and I happen to have light sensitive eyes. One day I had a seizure."
"Lots of tests, MRIS, cat scans, pet scan, brain scans. They found a mass of brain that was explained as a “black mold” of brain matter."
"Surgeon suggested removing it sooner rather than watching it slowly grow over time."
"My cancer was caught on a mammogram when it was too small for even my doctors to feel, and it was right under my skin."
No Good Stones
"I've never had one, just figured bigger object through peepee = more pain."
"Fun fact I learned from experience: smaller kidney stones are way easier to pass, but the pain of them getting to that point can be far more severe because they're more likely to be jagged in structure."
"Suffice to say I agree with this one, but only just barely cause nonexistent is the best size for a kidney stone. That sh*t hurts. lmao"
"Aaahh, human pearls."
Speaking Truths Over Here
"Potato wedges are crispier and have an overall better taste when they're smaller."
"First answer I have read that isn't just making a bad thing smaller but rather is increasing how good something is"
"Yes. See? A real answer. Something I can apply to my life. Unlike philosophical moral truths and magic shrinking debt."
Literal Small Packages
"I'm a postal worker - packages. If it fits in your box, fuck yeah. Time saved."
"I replaced my street side mailbox a few years ago. No real need to but I put in a much larger box."
"My postman stopped one day and thanked me for doing it."
"F*ck yeah, I love it when my postal worker fits their package in my box."
"That reminds me of a jazz song called 'I'm Your Mailman' "
"It's about postal workers and yes, there's LOTS of innuendo."
"Mini m&ms are so much better in my opinion."
"Damn I used to live mini M&Ms but they stopped selling them in my country."
"The tube they used to come in now comes with the regular size m&ms, which makes no sense cause you barely get any. What the hell is up with that?"
"Spiders and all arthropods"
"Are you sure? Demodex is a genus of tiny mites that live in or near hair follicles of mammals."
"Around 65 species of Demodex are known. Two species live on humans: Demodex folliculorum and Demodex brevis, both frequently referred to as eyelash mites, alternatively face mites or skin mites."
"They have no anus so they just live in your eyelash follicles until their own sh*t makes their exoskeleton burst and they die."
"You probably have some living on you right now, they're just too small for you to see."
OK, you know ... we were all good until the poopsploding mites that live on your eyelids.
Somebody always has to make it weird on Reddit.
I'm starting to wonder if it's a secret by-law or something.
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Everyone has their "type" when it comes to sexual attraction.
"What is something you cannot find hot or attractive no matter how hard you try?"
People discuss the looks and behavior that are off-putting to them.
"Everyone's typing sexual shiz, but here's mine: Ego. When someone thinks they're just a top of the line kinda person and know everything about anything? No, just no."
"Had a guy I had just started dating awhile back ask me about my job at the time. I was telling him about it, but he would interrupt me to try and CORRECT me on things he clearly had no idea about (and was also wrong about every time he opened his mouth lol)."
"When girls put lipstick above their lip line to make their lips look bigger."
"I don't respect people that can't color within the lines, didn't in first grade and don't now."
"Those huge pumped up lips on a woman."
And To Top It Off
"The female equivalent of a toupee."
"I feel like that's the kind of thing that's alluring because it conveys confidence until you actually get involved with someone like that and realize they're just an a**hole."
There's a certain way adult couples speak to each other that others find annoying and more fitting for a nursery room.
"If you think it’s bad coming from a girl try hearing it from a guy. !!"
"Girls doing baby voices, I was once fooling around with this very cute girl and she used a baby voice sounding like tweety bird and sh*t and I couldn’t recover, I had to cut her free, hope she found the right guy who’s into that."
"My ex would often talk in this very childish way of speaking, like trying to be funny and cute, and honestly I thought it was, until one day we were hanging out with her ex and her ex started talking like that and I was like….ohhhhhhh….I see."
When it comes to the bedroom, these activities were ones Redditors could do without.
"Scat.""Truth be told, I had an ex who loves being f'ked in the a**. But it wasn't till the 20th ish time I realized she only wanted it up the poop shoot If she had diarrhea. And unfortunately it ended up all over me. Then she'd lick it off. Every single time I went immediately limp and couldn't finish. I tried, but, no.""I tried because she was into it."– oO_SbowWulf_Oo
"Beep bobbly dee doot dah dah bup ba boodle doodle hee bat NOPE!"
It's A Fecal Thing
"Scat play. I'm not here to kink shame, but... Miss me with that sh*t."
Leave It For The Gastroenterologist
"Unsolicited internal organs shots."
Here's A Pisser
"She asked, I obliged, we broke up within a month."
We all have our preferences that draw us towards certain people.
What others find repulsive, others find totally sexy. That's the beauty of dating, though, isn't it?
There's someone for everyone.
For those of you who are single and still looking, don't lose hope.
Your unicorn is out there.
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