1. I met my husband at a wedding in 2003. I knew he was the one. We went on a few dates but then my Dad died and I couldn't handle dating seriously. He couldn't handle my aloofness. Well 4 years goes by. We had stopped talking. I would think about him every once in awhile. The more jerks I dated, the more I realized how I let a wonderful man get away. I emailed him. My email gets bounced back. I figured that was a sign. Well 3 days later, he calls me. Completely out of the blue. We met for a drink and the sparks were flying. I never wanted to be apart from him again. 9 months later he proposed. We got married 6 months after that. We were married for 7 months when he was diagnosed with cancer. He died one month later. I am so lucky to have been so in love and to have married my soulmate. I just wish I had more time.
2. When I realized that I didn't care what happened in life as long as I had her.
3. It was the worst day of her life.
We'd known each other for years, and I did love her, very much so, and I was constantly amazed that I had found such a brilliant and beautiful whirlwind of chaos, who was willing to love my son as if it were her own.
But I never realized how much I loved her until that day. She was working in industrial automation, and just came home from a business trip, she'd been coding on a live production site, which is exhausting and stressfull and usually at very odd hours. She was tired and cranky, and when she opened the door, I had to tell her that the police had just called. Her family had been in a car crash, her mum dead, her father in a coma. On the two-hour drive, she was looking so fragile, with her wide-opened, green eyes, and she hugged herself into her mums' pullover, which somehow was so much more intimate, so much more painful to watch than tears. I'll never forget her trembling hands and how she clung to me, the desperate way we made love that night, that whimper that she tried to supress, and how helpless I felt.
4. But on the next day, she was changed forever. Gone was the quirky, nerdy girl, and here was a woman, graceful and elegant as her late mother, and she walked with a dignity and strength that I didn't know where it came from. I was just frozen and shell-shocked, and she was identifying the horrific something that was left of her mum, all alone, and I wasn't even allowed to be there. Later, much later- she told me about the blood on the
metal table, and how there was only half of her face left, and how she hadn't been able to stop shaking despite it was summer, about the police officer who handed her a purse and some bags, about the metallic smell that greeted her when she opened them. She organized the funeral, she arranged all kinds of legal things, she spent hours at her fathers' hospital bed, she went through all the bills and letters and finished the laundry and took out the garbage. She invited over a hundred people for the next day, called every single one, told them with a not-quite steady voice that her mum was dead.
In the evening, she took my son into the kitchen. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a simple black t-shirt, looking hauntingly beautiful and broken, with her tangled curls, her chopped lips, and her red-rimmed eyes. "I am going to teach you how to make chocolate cake," she said, taking his little hands into hers, "the way my grandmother was taught by her mother, the way my mother was taught by her mother, the way I was taught by my mother."
She was 23. At that gesture, my heart went out for her more than she'll ever know.
Eight years later, she still bakes that chocolate cake for us, and I watch her, her still untamed curls, and those gentle hands, and I fall in love all over again.
5. She prefers pancakes while I prefer waffles. It was around midnight and I couldn't sleep so I snuck out to the store and (Continued)
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bought a box of pancake mix to surprise her in the morning. I came back, got into bed and nodded off. At one point I felt her get up and heard her go into the bathroom, I passed back out. We were sitting down to eat breakfast that next morning when I pulled out the pancake mix and said, I know how much you like pancakes so I snuck out last night and got this. She smiled, walked to the freezer and pulled out a box of eggos while saying, "I don't have a waffle iron, so I bought these last night." That was the moment.
6. When he explained, in detail, the treehouse he plans to build for me.
7. I had driven across 3 states to be in a friend's wedding. The day before the wedding, we were decorating the reception hall. I had to use the bathroom, and while in the stall heard this running, screaming terror. Having several nephews, I knew the sound of an out of control child, and was silently laughing to myself...until the men's room door flew open and this 3 year old comes barging into the bathroom and kicks open my stall door while there was a distraught scream of "NO!" in the background and this cute, horrified woman came running in, red faced, to usher her daughter out as I desperately tried to get my pants up.
After getting out of the bathroom, I realized she won't make eye contact, so being a social guy I went over to tell her it was okay. The first thing she said was "I'm so sorry...I think I must have been drinking while I was pregnant with her." Funny and cute. I was interested.
The next night at the wedding reception, we talked more and I mentioned sleep apnea, where a person stops breathing in her sleep. She looked over the champagne and said:
"That happened to my ex all the time...then I would decide to take the pillow off his face. Worst mistake I ever made."
Funny. Cute. Dark sense of humor. I was in love.
We were married a year later. We now have 3 children...two of which she's fighting to get to bed right now (Daddy sings two songs, then Daddy's done. Mommy is a bit of a pushover for a glass of water), adopted her daughter, and we still find an hour or two every day to tease and joke with each other. Life, my friend, is good.
8. So I met this girl, and we hit it off and hang out pretty much non stop for a week, she mentions that she thinks it would be cool to get randomly married, I say that I thought a spontaneous wedding would be the most awesome way to get married. So right then and there we (Continued)
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plan a trip to vegas to "get married" we are both thinking this is a silly thing not really taking it serious. I don't know what happened but the more time I spent with her the more I realized that this girl was the one and I was absolutely enamoured. So I started making arrangements, I secretly found out her ring size and I got money from my savings for the trip to vegas and the ring I planned on getting her. So right before we go to vegas (driving from Los Angeles area) I tell her "hey I need to get you a ring right?" she says not to worry I say "how about one of those rings from the coin machines" She says that would be awesome. So I go to a local grocery store with her I pop in some money into the coin machine and a egg with a ring in it pops out. I propose right then and there in the parking lot, I told her that my love for her is as real as the ring I gave her. But little did she know is that I switched the rings with a real diamond ring. I knew she was as crazy about me as I was for her and she said yes. Went to Vegas and got married. Best decision I have ever made.
9. My father told me that I'd wake up one morning and realize I couldn't bear the thought of not being with her the rest of my life. He was right.
10. My husband and I met on eHarmony. I let him know from the start that I had a young child and he assured me that he was ok with that. My son was 1 1/2 months old when we met (long story) and, when he came to pick me up on our first date, he brought my son a teddy bear that played music and a pack of cute Valentine's day bibs. I thought that was a really sweet gesture. We had an amazing first date and we started dating regularly. He was there for me when I was going through the challenges of being a first time mother, trying to breastfeed and, ultimately, finding out I couldn't make enough milk to feed my child, and having to put him on formula (I was devastated). For a man I just met, I couldn't believe he was so willing to help in a situation where most men would turn tail and run. But, that wasn't the clincher. One night, he was sitting in the recliner at my parents' house holding my son and trying to burp him after a feeding. He had him propped up on his shoulder and was speaking to him softly. I don't think he thought I could hear, but I heard him say "C'mon, little guy. Burp for daddy." After the circumstances surrounding how my son came to be, and all that I had been through in the recent months following up to his birth, I felt broken, like no one would ever want me, let alone truly love me AND my child. I'm happy to say he proved me completely wrong. We've been together for almost 5 years, married for over 3 1/2 years, and we're expecting baby #3.
11. When I thought about the rest of our lives as not being enough time to spend together.
12. I woke up to a terrible hangover and the smell of coffee. She looked at me and said, as I tried to figure out what was going on: (Continued)
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She said, "I'm so happy! I can't believe you proposed last night!"
So, to answer your question, I realized it a few hours after I was already committed.
[deleted]
13. I'm not a romantic man. But what the hell, I'll share.
I started seeing my wife more or less on a lark. I was 24 at the time, had been in a 'serious' relationship not too long prior and didn't really want much of anything. Honestly I didn't even have that much of a crush on her -- she was fun and silly and cute, and she made me laugh. That was good enough for a date or two, maybe a few weeks of fun, and that was about as far as I was willing to commit to anything. She would've been the fourth in a string, and I was kind of digging that bachelor setup I had going. Tiny little pad, just me and the cat, quiet nights alone or out at the bar flirting with all the pretty ladies. You get the picture.
So I took her out on a date. I have to stress that I really wasn't that invested; there was no spark, no butterflies in the stomach. I was not, as one young lady memorably put it, twitterpated. I did my usual suave thing where I told her I'd call and tell her when to expect me to pick her up on Saturday. We went to see some godawful movie because I couldn't be bothered to put more effort into it.
In short I was, and am, an arsehole. Unbeknownst to me she had decided to make me her arsehole. I never stood a chance.
After the movie, I invited her back to my place. Pretty transparent, I know, but bold moves had been working for me and she agreed. Back we go and things are getting pretty hot and heavy. That's when she decides to stop me and drop the bombshell -- at 22 she was a virgin. Oh.
So no action that night. Decision time for Mr. Mars: do I go my merry way in search of lower hanging fruit, or do I stick with this one for the long hunt?
It turns out that not only am I an arsehole, but I'm also quite stubborn. Sticking it out was the order of the day.
I can recall the night of that first date, but much of the time in between seems rather hazy. We got comfortable with each other. She dug my sense of humour, and my cooking. We liked to watch old Charlie Chaplin films together -- a favourite to this day is The Kid. Eventually moving in together just kind of made sense. At no point during this entire process did I ever feel that spark. I was never infatuated, but things just kind of grew. Eventually we became inseparable best friends. We fight sometimes, like any couple does. But we're honest with each other, and we're committed to one another's goals.
Here's the thing, though. It took me a long time to realize I was actually in love with her, because there was never that infatuation. It wasn't a story book romance, it wasn't the prince and the princess living happily ever after. It sure as hell wasn't love at first sight. I always kind of had one foot in and one foot out, if you can dig that.
But time passes and you get comfortable. Life has it's own inertia, I've found, and sometimes it's easier to just keep going along with something than it is to try to change it. She was still digging my jokes, and my cooking. And it was awfully nice to have a warm body in bed at night. So we just kept rolling like that. Eventually I got a job opportunity. It required me to relocate and was a bit of a risk. I'd been offered a temporary contract with the potential of a permanent position when it ended. It was in my field, I was unemployed and it paid very well. There was no way I could not take this job. She followed me, of course.
We packed our things and moved from the small town to the big city. That was quite an adjustment, but we got by. She got herself a job, working evening shifts. One night, she was late getting home. Over an hour late, in fact, in a big, still slightly strange city, after midnight. I couldn't sit down for panic, and when she called me to tell me that her train had been delayed (Continued)
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the relief left me weak in the knees.
I'm not a nervous sort normally, and that's how I knew. It had snuck up on me; it hadn't come all at once in a flash. There had been no choir, no ray of light, no revelation from on high. All the same, I was truly, deeply in love with this woman. I couldn't imagine my life without her.
I'm not a fan of marriage, as a concept. I'm not religious, and I think the whole thing is outdated and does not reflect the current social norms. It's the appendix of modern western society; once essential to survival, now just a useless extra that causes more harm than good. Needless to say, I didn't see it in my future. The snag, of course, was that she did. It was a semi-joking source of contention for us throughout our relationship. One day I made a quip, and she told me in an almost off-hand way that she'd already given up on ever marrying me; she'd weighed life with me against her dream of marriage, and decided that I was more important. Of course, at that point I knew I had to marry her. For all the younger men of Reddit I will tell you this: there may be more attractive women, there may be more exciting women. But the woman who decides to stick by your side no matter what, even when it gets in the way of her own desires, the one who laughs with you, the one who loves you even when you're gassy, or when you're sick and haven't showered in 3 days -- that's the woman you should marry.
We've discussed it, and I think we're the closest to engaged we're going to get. She doesn't have a ring, but the plans have been made. They're mutually satisfactory; we'll have a small ceremony at city hall, no big expenses or crowds. Immediate family will be in attendance, and we'll be married by a JP. Afterwards we'll have a party, likely in my mother's garden as we don't have a lot of space here in the city. It's not going to be expensive, but she's not a princess and is honestly happier with that. As for me, if I'm going to do it, that's the way I want it done.
We're not a traditional couple. There aren't any roses or dances or gushing displays of affection. But we're happy, and we're the best of friends. The affection I feel for her isn't the burning lust that I thought love was; it's something that is at once quieter and stronger than that. Stronger than I ever thought possible.
Like I said, I'm not a romantic man. But this is our story, and I kind of like it. If you've actually made it all the way to the end, then I can only hope that you have too.
14. I dated her when I was 15 and she was 12.... Seems a little weird now with her being that young but I knew then. Unfortunately, life took us in two different directions and we both ended up married to different people within two months of each other. After two years, both of those marriages failed and we found ourselves consoling each other through divorces. Thankfully, after a decade, we are still best friends and she is coming home to me tonight. Engaged almost a month.
15. About a month in. My father was going through some stuff that made us think he might have cancer and the doctors ran a bunch of tests. While this was going on I was having lunch with her one day and related to her that I was in no way ready to find out that my dad had cancer, and how much that scared me. She listened and sympathized and told me not to worry...she was great.
About a week later I was eating alone in a bar near my place while she was at a graduation party with her family (I was a semester behind, not a good student). I get a call from her and can barely understand her through the tears. All she can really tell me is that she'd like to be picked up. I go to get her and on the ride home she spills her guts: turns out her father was in the middle of a battle with brain cancer, and her mother had not done a good job of preparing her for how much worse he had gotten since she had seen him last. It was more than she could handle in a public setting like that.
It was then that I realized what kind of person she is. She sat there and listened to me going on and on about how scared I was for my father, and she chose to support me instead of telling me just how little I knew about what it means to be losing a parent. She is the most beautiful, caring and selfless person I know. Every day I'm with her I become a better person. We've been together now for 4.5 years, married for 1.5 and I still fall more in love with her every day.
16. I was in a 10 year relationship and I had very specific reactions to certain situations, not all of them were admirable reactions.
I left that relationship, knowing it was simply bad for both of us and then I met my wife.
I realized that my wife-to-be (Continued)
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caused me (somehow) to be the man I wanted to be. I was never immature or petty with her. I didn't get bothered when she disagreed with me, I was too busy realizing that she made a good point. I would often find myself shutting off televisions, computers, etc because we were having more interesting conversations and I couldn't be bothered with distractions. After several years we still find ourselves locked in conversation, sitting across from each other, and realizing we've spent the last 3-4 hours talking and laughing with each other.
17. We both looked each other in the eye, and had the same thought, so I spoke it. "We're stuck together, aren't we?" That was 9 years ago. We're married.
18. When we were leaving a family gathering and she hugged my 94 year old grandfather. Showing him this care/love, I had the epiphany that I was going to marry her.
19. She took a timeout from chatting to chug a guinness at 10am.
20. Both my parents tell the same story. My dad was walking my mom back to her house on there 2nd actual date. They got to her doorstep and to make small talk my said "Oh, it's a full moon tonight", My Dad (ever the engineer) says "No... I think that's more of a 15/16th moon...". I don't know why but apparently they both laughed.
They dated for 3 weeks, married in under a year, been together for 44 years this April. They are most of all, each others best friend.
21. When I realized that she didn't give a crap about any of the stuff I tried to do to impress her and that she was genuinely interested in who I really am at the core.
22. The first time we spent the night together. Waking up and seeing her and thinking, "I want to do this every day for the rest of my life."
Be sure to share with someone you love!
We often find ourselves having to guess how to make things work and make things fit--in our lives, but also just in our possessions. Will these pants fit me? These shoes?
Will this screw fit my table? Will this charger fit my phone?
If everything was somehow standard, wouldn't it all be so much easier?
u/DigiQuip asked:
What's something that's not standardized but should be?
Here were some of those answers.
No More Vanity Sizes
Sizes for clothing.
Especially for shoes. How hard would it be to just list the sizes in centimeters (or inches if you're American)?
WHY DO WE USE STANDARD MEASUREMENTS FOR OUR CLOTHES, BUT THEY ARE DIFFERENT SIZES IN DIFFERENT BRANDS???
Calvin Klein's men's slacks: 32'' waist
Bar III men's slacks: 32'' waist
Perry Ellis slacks: 32'' waist
THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT WAIST SIZES. WHYY?!?!?!?!
Ah Yes, Three Chilis
There's a standard for chili heat levels (the Scoville scale), but food manufacturers never use it. Instead, they use a varying number of chili icons which mean nothing at all.
It's always fun going to like a Thai restaurant in Canada and trying to figure out whether the chili icon means Thai spicy or Canadian spicy.
Ah Yes, This Could Kill Me
Household electrical voltages and sockets.
Interestingly enough, there was an attempt: since 1986, there is an international standard socket, IEC 60906-1. However, only South Africa has implemented it so far.
And it is unlikely it will ever be implemented in other countries, as the EU is even advising against it since 2017:
REFIT found that "the harmonisation of plug and socket outlet systems in Europe, by introducing changes in national wiring legislations (would have) important transitional periods (above 75 years)", and that the cost to "replace the old socket-outlets (and the corresponding plugs of the appliances being used)" was estimated at 100 billion Euro, "generating a huge environmental impact, producing some 700 000 tons of electrical waste".[3] REFIT does not recommend harmonising the plugs and socket-outlet systems in Europe.
Can we just get a little consistency here? Please?!
No Stacks
After working in a grocery store, can diameters should only come in a maybe 4 sizes. And they should all stack.
But they don't. They never do.
I feel your pain. I hate those narrow jars and cans that are slightly narrower than 3 wires of the shelf so they tip over if you don't place them perfectly.
A Computer Mouse, Not A Little Baby Mouse
Modern rechargable batteries.
We spent years with standard size batteries. We are now stuck with proprietary batteries which aren't designed to be user replaceable and often dictate the life of the device.
Yes absolutely. I found this fact especially annoying when looking for a mouse. Most of the more expensive mice come with rechargeable batteries, and it seems that modern tech reviewers are claiming this is better than some standard double A.
All Standard, Yet None Standard
I worked in a hardware store long enough to learn that apparently everything is standardized.
"I need window screens."
Okay, what are your dimensions?
"It's a standard size window."
─
"I'm looking for a replacement ceiling fan."
Okay, do you want small blades, large blades? A modest 30" span or a robust 56"?
"Just standard size."
─
"Do you think this large, bulky, cumbersome commodity will fit in my vehicle?"
I don't know. How big your truck?
"It's a standard one."
protip: it's a sedan. it's always a sedan.
Welp, Here's Your Problem
Based on years of helping my Dad in his shop, doing bodywork on vehicles - fastenings. Bolts, screws. rivets, clips... the sheer amount of specialized fastenings and required tools is insane. Even the variety of types in single vehicles is excessive.
Not to mention many of them are so cheaply made that there is no reusing them.
So Many Sign Languages
Not necessarily something that should be standardised because it would affect many cultures negatively, but I've always wondered what it would be like if every country just spoke one language. Sign language should probably be standardised, but re-learning sign language for people who use it may be difficult and time-consuming
Perhaps We Need To Rethink Policing
Police responses to missing persons across the nation, and the information requirements for police reports to be filled out with specific and complete information at the first point of contact by the person reporting the missing person, regardless of the age, status, or suspected reason for disappearing.
Police should NEVER be allowed to decide a case isn't valid at the first point of contact.
A Recipe For A Lint Fire
The laundry exhaust receptacle in homes should be centered exactly eighteen inches (45.7cm) from the floor with eighteen inches (or 45.7 cm) of clearance on both sides.
The exhaust duct of a clothes dryer should be in the middle of the back of the machine, and centered eighteen inches/45.7 cm from the floor. The dryer should have adjustable feet to allow for slight errors in measurement.
Once this is done, a laundry dryer can be pushed into the wall and we won't need to craft a length of ducting to connect the two.
Just a little bit of sameness and consistency could really go a long way here.
Some things ought not be tried again.
Sure, they made sense the first time. It may have held charm, at least some sense of purpose on the second go around. But eventually, surely, an essential truth became clear: never again.
Reddit is apparently crawling with people carrying around that permanent grudge towards some thing they've done in the past.
Lucky for us, we can learn from their mistakes.
senorllama57 asked, "What is something you will never do again?"
There were, of course, plenty of people who discussed horrible jobs they've held in the past. They may have had little choice at the time, but now that it's all in the past they feel free to share how they really felt.
The Customer Always Seems To Be Wrong
"Work retail. I think every kid fresh out of high school should work a retail job for a year. It builds character." -- ProfessionalTheme415
"How did you get out!?! Lol. It's like a black hole where I work. Everyone that tries to leave comes back." -- threebillion6
A Lot Going On
"Work in a nursing home. The sights, screams and pleas Will haunt me forever." -- M_Lamora
"Honestly working in a nursing home was one of the most weird jobs I ever had. I've never been threatened so many times in my life. I once had a memory care resident ask me if I would help her jump a caregiver."
One After Another
"Work in a call center." -- Evilsmurfkiller
"Sucked the soul right out of me within a year." -- Bandana-mal
"I was at one for 2 and half years and it was not until I left I realized I had work-related depression. I was overeating, not eating, sleep deprived, slept all the time, I had such rage that would come out at times...
"I did not care what happened to me, I left because they were gonna fire me over something dumb because they just fire people for being there long. I left over a year ago, and I have not been this happy to wake up every day in years, my life is so much better now." -- UnusualLight0
Others discussed past struggles they've encountered within the romantic realm. Unfortunately, these lessons came with plenty of emotional struggle.
Committing
"Get married. It'll be 19 years this August and my marriage is my marriage. I reserve the right to have a girlfriend at some point if she passes away before I do, but she's the one and only wife, end of story."
-- StChas77
Stay Attuned
"Ignore red flags when talking to someone I want to date. I've done it twice now, and both times sucked" -- YareYareYandere
"Listen to your gut. If something feels off, you're probably not imagining it." -- SurealGod
Don't Forget About You
"Okay first off I'm sorry if this might sound cringe :D . . . That would be hmm become too attached/codependent on a person. Whether it may be of a lover, friend, or just acquaintance."
"Idk if it's coincidence but they either end up gone one day or become total di**s when you least expect it and I'm forced to cut ties."
And some people chose to recall the things they were so certain would be fun and enjoyable, but turned out to be so not.
A Bad Ratio
"I made a super elaborate meal once. It was ... okay. Certainly not worth the effort involved." -- Astramancer_
"Take an hour to make something, only takes 15 minutes to eat. It's bullsh**." -- SurealGod
Hours and Hours
"Times Square on New Years' Eve. It was fun once, never need to do it again." -- AnswerGuy301
"I was going to answer the same thing. It seemed like it would be so much fun but now that I know what it entails — never again" -- hi_its_me
"I have never been and never understood the attraction of waiting for hours and hours in the shivering weather." -- amrodd
Think of Grease Splatters
"Prepare steaks when drunk" -- Kiaulunne
"Not for your reason, but same here. Cooked one at 2am after half a bottle of rum. Quickly ate and passed out after. Woke up around 8am dying for water and realised I left the gas stove on... So glad nothing burned down..." -- schofield101
Turning Point
"I will never get drunk again. Tipsy, buzzed, sure. Thats fine."
"But when I was in front of that toilet for an hour, being so weak I couldn't even sit up, having people constantly come in to check on me, worrying that I might have alcohol poisoning, that is exactly not a fun time"
-- Raemnant
So take some notes! Or maybe there were some true horrors you went through that this list seems to be lacking.
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You know what they say, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions". Because the people who have our best interests in mind typically have good intentions when they give us advice, but there's a chance that that advice can go horribly wrong.
Try not to follow the bad advice given here, because you don't want to get the results that these guys did.
U/Duckerton375 asked: What's the worst advice someone ever gave you, but you still followed?
The workplace can bring a cornucopia of terrible advice. Don’t follow these unless you want to get fired.
​Bad jobs are usually not worth it.
Stick with a job no matter how bad it is. I stayed with a terrible job working retail, dealing with horrible customers and sexual harassment. I was told I wouldn't find anything better.
"No, no, you misunderstand. I said you wouldn't find anything better at making you feel like complete garbage."
This gets really creepy really fast.
frustrated workplace GIFGiphy"After you put in a job application, you need to call them at least once a day every day until they hire you."
Note: this did not get me hired. It got me called out by the HR person I was calling and forbidden to ever contact their facility again.
I work for a law firm that employees over 1500 people in the home office alone. Once I received a call from the building security saying, "Insert Name is here to speak with the owner." Well we are run by a committee so that's odd. Found out they just applied for a job and wanted to talk directly to the person that would potentially hire them. Told him the firm will contact them to schedule an interview. They refused to leave without "talking to the owner." Had security escort them out of the building.
​This is absolutely not true.
"Sleep is for people who do not want success" great words from my uncle, it almost killed me.
Now I may be oversleeping.
​Interpersonal relationships are also a big breeding ground for terrible advice. Don’t listen to any of these.
Heartbreaking.
My father always tought me and my brother that "having friends is bad and in the end they will never be there for you" so everytime I told my father about my friends he would get kinda mad and give me the advice to stop talking to them.
Now I am afraid of people and have several trust issues, thanks dad.
​This won’t end well.
A Christmas Story GIF by filmeditorGiphyIn the fifth grade my teacher was talking about bullying, then she said "if anyone tries to bully you just agree with them." So the next time I got bullied I agreed with the bully and they bullied me more.
Dude one time I saw an anti bullying video that told the victims to just BE NICE TO THE BULLY. Like the bully was hurling insults and the victim was smiling and complimenting him. My first thought was about how much I hated the mere thought that this would work. My second thought was of how the people who came up with that method had clearly never been bullied.
​Oof.
When I met my now wife at the age of 19, one of my coworkers said that it's very important to start at the bottom with presents and work your way up, she still has the socks I gave her on our first anniversary on the wall over our bed as a reminder...
I'm still trying to teach my boyfriend about good presents and bad presents. Biscuits from the supermarket = bad present. Cheap unbranded laptop battery from China as my only present = bad present (and only lasted 2 months). Anything off my 7-page wishlist = good present. It's literally a list of things I want to receive as presents.
​Can tell you from experience that this is a bad idea.
Had a falling out with some friends. My husband recommended I reach out to an old friend who ghosted me suddenly in a manner that induced some pretty severe abandonment trauma. Went for it anyways because "it's been so long, surely they changed". Am now experiencing the same things as last time.
When you follow bad advice, it can lead to mistakes that you just can’t come back from.​
Buying a house is tricky.
for sale dancing GIF by Lisa VertudachesGiphy"Buy a home now before the prices go up!" -my FIL in 2006.
We bought in 2007 and paid $259,500 for our 1,300 sq ft house (we really couldn't afford it and had an 80/20 so we had 8% interest for one loan and 6% on the other) and in 2008 it was worth $97,000 so refinancing wasn't even an option. We watched all of our neighbors walk away or get foreclosed on but we kept paying our bills and as of this very moment our house is worth $462,000. I'm so happy we stuck it out, we both worked our @sses off and the house will be paid off in 2 years.
It worked out for us, it's a horrible idea. Especially since 1300 sq ft houses are $460+k
My heartbreaks for future generations, I honestly don't know how people are going to afford housing in the future.
It’s there for a reason.
"Never apply for any government assistance."
Cue years of suffering trying to work full-time with a painful disability. Quit a particularly terrible job, and wanted to apply for food aid until I could find another gig; a friend with lots of DHS experience recommended I apply for Social Security "just to get in the system." Turns out my disability was bad enough to get accepted the first time, which I wasn't expecting. Really could've used that support, oh, the 30+ previous years of my life.
Credit is important to have.
I was told to not get a credit card until after college. I was super fortunate to have my college paid for so I had no loans, car paid in cash, no credit card or anything to start building credit. Found myself out in the world at 22 years old with a credit score of 0.
So while a lot of this bad advice came from trusted people, oftentimes they were too misinformed to give that advice in the first place. Don't trust the word of one person--do your research, and make decisions for yourself.
It'll be way better in the long run
Every once in awhile, somebody comes along, enters your life, and catapults themselves to that awful, unique position at the top of your list of the worst people you have ever met.
Sometimes, the person's blindingly terrible behavior and overall essence is actually impressive. We ask ourselves, "how could a person like this actually exist on purpose?"
Alas, they do. And you have to deal with them. Or, if your lucky, you can carve out some distance.
Redditors shared descriptions of the worst people they've ever had the misfortune to meet. Some have escaped the relationship. Some are are still stuck in the clutches.
LoneStar202 asked, "Who is the worst person you have ever met?"
Some chose to talk about the acquaintances they simply couldn't help but encounter. External circumstances beyond their control made the stars align in the worst way possible.
Keeping the Peace
"There was this guy who used to come into the McDonald's where I did security overnight (yes, that's a job), and he was the biggest ahole I've ever met in my life."
"Ginger, 5'6 or so, named Colby, had a perpetual scowl on his face, looked for any reason to start a fight with anyone. He and his friend would come in when it's super busy, not order, and then yell at the staff that he paid and wasn't given a receipt in the hopes that they'd give him free food rather than deal with him."
"I kicked him out for six months on two separate occasions for coming in drunk and throwing things, drinking beer in the restaurant, starting fights, you name it. Only got in my face once and I never had to fight him, but I'm much bigger than him and the law is on my side."
"Not that I would necessarily have won. I'm big and strong, but I have no idea how to fight and he did. I called his bluffs because I was pretty sure he wouldn't attack me and he didn't."
"Funny, I just realized I've finally forgotten his last name. Not that I'd mention it. He might be less of a @ss now and he's no longer my business."
-- Shippo-chan
You Know 'Em
"I work with a real life, archetypal, Karen. She's two-faced, mean, anti-vax, and just generally the whole nine. The first interaction I ever had with her she had to make fun of me behind my back for being a dude with earrings."
"Recently kicked up a stink by making an 'anonymous' email address and emailing our HR department saying people were discriminating against folks not getting the covid vaccine.
"Luckily she's burned too many bridges for anyone to really take her crazy anymore but man is she frustrating to deal with."
Others discussed the family members that, for obvious reasons, they were forced to put up with for years and years. But even family isn't enough to keep a person like that around.
Marrying Into It
"It sounds cliche, but my ex-MIL. What made her the worst is that she was a covert POS."
"We always lived about 1k miles from them, so I didn't pick up on it for far, far too long, but goddamn, I've never met anyone with as much unacknowledged hate and cruelty in their heart."
A Thing of the Past
"My father. Cheater, never paid child support, verbally abusive to my mother, sister and I. Just all around bad dude."
"Haven't talked to him in about 15 years and am 100% ok with that."
-- itsdjc
So Many Problems
"My brother. He's like a cross between Kramer (Seinfeld, 'my newest thing' and mannerisms) and Frank from Its Always Sunny (illegal activity and completely illogical 'logic')."
"He's ripped me off for thousands of dollars (getting close to 5 figures). Constantly stealing anything he can, but claims 'borrowed' if caught with it. Been to jail 3 times and is currently on house arrest after over a year of probation violations. "
"The epitome of 'easier to say sorry than ask permission' (but the apologies are hollow) and 'what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine.' No consideration for anyone or anything. Manages to break virtually anything he touches. Hasn't had a job in over 1.5 years, but has been trying to fraudulently collect unemployment."
"Constantly thinks everyone is out to get him and people are stalking the camper he lives in (has security cameras that he watches frequently and often 'patrols' the area). Tries to break into locked doors and safe, and pulls the 'why don't you believe/trust me' line."
"I'm just scratching the surface here. He'd use your clippers/razor to shave his family jewels and not clean up the mess (something he's done multiple times)."
-- ChuckoRuckus
Finally, there were the stories of classmates. Whether it was high school, college, or even graduate school, there were enough people there all in one place that one or two rotten people were never far away.
Crash Landing
"Guy from my high school was a wannabe thug. He ended up going to juvi junior year. After a year of juvi. He became a true criminal. Broke into people's homes. Stole from stores and got heavy into drugs."
"Then he eventually died after robbing the wrong store at gunpoint. The owner came out the back and shot him with a shotgun."
Wait for the Twist
"My gf's college classmate. Narcistic. Thought of himself as very important so he came into the church where we were graduating, on his HORSE. He damaged a 1000 or something-year-old church floor in Leiden. He thinks he didn't do anything wrong."
"And the weird thing is, we were graduating LAW SCHOOL"
Ride Like Lightning, Crash Like Thunder
"I had a classmate who wanted to become a stock broker and a millionaire. He said more than once, with absolute pride, 'When I'm rich I wont donate a single penny to the poor!' I asked him why and he said 'I have my own problems, and the poor being poor is not one of them.' "
"He opened his own business when he was 23 and was pretty successful, but suddenly a fire burned the place down while he was in it and he suffered from third degree burns all over his body."
"He later confessed setting the fire himself and was found guilty on insurance fraud. He's only 24 now and his professional life is basically over."
-- Sadlycoris
A Sudden Shift
"A teacher I once had. Didn't know me. Never spoke to me much."
"One day just randomly snapped at me. Yelling at me telling me that I had no future, that all the awards I got were to go to waste, that I the article I published which I spent hours working on and submitted didn't matter. That even though I was 14 and had many great achievements, I would end up just like that said teacher."
"Worst person I have ever encountered. Did collateral damage to my life as now I am a high school student with no more ambition. Wanna be a journalist? Wanna be a writer? A lawyer? Not anymore buddy."
Hopefully, you don't have too many of these people in your own life. But, let's face it, there's one or two people on your mind right now.
Here's hoping you managed to let go and get away.
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