I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.
-Les Dawson.
This article is a collection of the best answers from a Reddit thread in which user Ninjalord5 asked the question, "What was a loophole that you found and exploited the hell out of?" A big thank you goes out to all the contributors.
1. I worked in a call center during college. Our main performance measure was the number of donations solicited PER CONTACT. If the person didn't answer or hung up immediately, it didn't count against you.
I discovered a bug where, if I blew into the microphone just as the phone started to ring, it would register in the computer system as a no-answer and dial the next number. I rode this out for several months before I got tired of blowing my microphone for 8 hours a day and quit.
smokebreak
2. Back in college we found a loophole with coupons at Kroger for General Mills cereal. If you bought 4 boxes of cereal each box was a dollar. But if you did the self checkout you would be printed out a coupon for $4 off your next purchase. We used the loophole to buy about 300 boxes of cereal. We only spent $12 on all of it. We would've spent less but we had to go to another Kroger once the manager got wind of us. We kept around 20 boxes for ourselves and donated the rest to the local food bank. They were so excited when we showed up with three vehicles full of cereal. Totally worth the $12 and all the time it took.
RoiVampire
3. Worked in a call center.
I discovered my cubicle block was not hooked up to the call quality monitoring, so I would just answer calls, put them on hold, then call the same 1-800 number they dialed to get me and conference call it with them. Then I would sit there silently listening to some other poor shmuck handle the call and would drop off the call around 7 minutes which was our preferred average handle time. Got told my call time was great by the boss a few times.
My coworkers and I called it call surfing. Sometimes I would interject with words like "Penis" just to see how confused both parties would get.
Smooth_McDouglette
4. Bought a shitty sega genesis game, I think it was some flight sim which was the crappiest game I ever played. So I took it back to K-mart and got told "No refunds for opened games. Replacement for the same one if broken." Annoyed that I couldn't get my money back I said it was broken and went for the replacement. They handed me a new copy of the game and my original receipt.
Left and came back an hour later, "I want a refund for this game, here is my receipt and unopened game." Got my money back, went and bought a different shit genesis game.
FOTBWN
5. In elementary school we had the Accelerated Reading (AR) program. You would read a book, take a test on the computer, and be awarded points based on how well you did. At the end of the year you could buy things at the book store with the points you accumulated.
I had just finished reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and got a perfect score on the test. The computer was only supposed to allow you to take the test once but I figured out you could take that specific Harry Potter book unlimited times. I racked up so many points and was never found out.
saucecat2
6. I used to go to MS events at my college because they gave away free shrink-wrapped software, which I would then sell on ebay.
7. At my local movie theater, you could get a small drink for $2.50 or a large drink for $3.50, and large gets unlimited refills. Or you could get a SoBe tea for $2.50. But they didn't give you the SoBe bottle because they wanted to avoid any broken glass incidents. So they poured the SoBe into the large cup. Boom: unlimited large drink refills.
I saved several dollars that way.
r2d2sthirdleg
8. By accident I found a gumball machine that, if you turned the dial really slowly, would drop the gumball. Then you could dial it back just enough so the next gumball would drop into the tumbler bits, then slowly dial forward again until it drops, etc. Got about 20 of them and stopped when I realized that I really didn't want to chew that much cheap gum...
Kifenstein
9. In the 80's Chuck E Cheeses didn't shred the tickets you get out of their games and use to buy toys, candy etc. My friends and I were biking one day behind a strip mall practicing our wheelies and jumps. We saw a worker throwing a garbage bag of tickets into the dumpster behind Chuck E Cheese. We grabbed it and then started circling back about once a week. Garbage bags and garbage bags full of tickets. We were doing so well, one of my friends parents got in on it. She would take the mini van behind there and have her kids load up. And this is why tickets are now shredded.
10. I think I still have a huge stockpile of Frisbees and stuffed animals in my parent's attic somewhere.
bboy1977
11. My college didn't put any dates on our Student IDs. No graduation year, no expiration date, nothing. As a result, I kept using it to get student discounts for YEARS after I graduated, mostly the 15% off J. Crew discount.
We all love our pets.
And be it a dog, cat, parrot, or turtle, we all like to think our pet is cuter and smarter than everyone else's.
Most of the time, that is purely owing to our unending love for them.
But every now and again, we might witness our pet do something truly extraordinary, leading us to believe that our pet truly is the smartest animal on earth.
Redditor CoreyMatthews was curious to hear about the times people were truly blown away by the intelligence of their pets, leading them to ask:
"Pet owners of Reddit, what are some examples of your pet doing something that made your realize how intelligent they are?"
Talk About Coordination!
"I watched both my cats sit in the hallway and roll a ball back and forth between them gently and on purpose."
"They both know how to open doors."- TurbulentStep4399
The Real Truth About Cats And Dogs
"I had a cat that learned to turn on my radio so I would think the alarm was going off and get up to feed him."
"He and my dog would also team up on me in various ways."
"The most memorable was when I had gotten a little water pistol to squirt the cat when he got on the kitchen counter."
"I always kept the water pistol in the very back corner of the kitchen counter."
"I got home one day, and the water pistol was chewed to pieces on the floor."
"It was too far back on the counter for the dog to have reached it by herself (and it’s not the sort of thing she would normally have liked to chew on), so the only explanation is that the cat climbed onto the counter, pushed the water pistol across the counter until it fell on the floor, and then convinced the dog to chew it up."- TheBat3
More Than Most People Can Say About Their Children!
"My 6 month old kitten will alternate bringing his mylar ball to me or my husband to throw--taking turns."
"He plays fetch better than my dog did."
"He puts his toys away at bedtime."
"I have a small basket that we keep his toys in."
"At bedtime, I'll tell him, 'Let's pick up your toys' and he will get any toys that hasn't been eaten by the couch and drop them in his basket."
"No hard balls/toys as he can't pick those up with his mouth."
"I pick up those."- Danivelle
cat playing GIFGiphyThe Female Of The Species...
"I had two Shelties and one large dog bed."
"The female Sheltie did not want to share the bed with her brother, so whenever he was lying on it she would go to the door and start barking like crazy at … nothing."
"He would leap up barking and race to the door to guard the house alongside her and as soon as he got out of the dog bed, she would run back and curl up in the middle of it."
"He never caught on."- NoNefariousness104
Always On The Lookout
"My dog greeted me at the garage door when I got home."
"He then had me follow him to my daughters room, then my sons room, then the front door."
"My mother in law had picked up the kids."
"He was telling me that 'this one and this one are gone and went that way'."
"Let’s go get them!'”- YourFriendInSpokane
Asking Permission Never Goes Unnoticed
"I had a blue heeled mix that was crazy smart."
"Two of many examples:"
"He was occasionally allowed to eat table scraps off of a plate but was never allowed to beg."
"He had to wait until the plate was put on the floor."
"One day I was caught up working on my laptop and had put the scraps from my dinner on the couch on a plate next to me."
"An hour or so went by and I saw him pick up the plate off the couch and put it on the floor so he was allowed to eat it."
"He slept in my room and was getting up in years."
"One night after I was settled in bed he let me know he needed to go outside, thinking an older bladder, I got up to take him out."
"Instead he went to the kitchen and turned to look at me."
"Curious I followed him."
"Same thing , he went to the family room and waited for me."
"When I turned on the light, he went to an end table near the TV where one of my teenagers had left an uneaten piece of fried chicken."
"He stood and stared and it and then turned to me and I swear he asked if he could have it."
"I laughed and took the meat off the bones and put it in the floor for him, after which we both went back to bed."
"How he knew that chicken had been left there is beyond me!"
"I could share dozens of stories like this."
"He was as smart as most humans I know."
"I will miss him forever."- JCKligmann
dog human eating GIFGiphyPeeing With Purpose
"My mom's cat had a urinary infection."
"So he peed a tiny bit in the bathroom sink and waited by it for my mom to see it."- HyliaSerket
Everyone Wants A Little Attention Every Now And Then...
"A small thing, but my cat will paw at my hand when he wants to be petted."
"The first couple times it happened, I didn't think anything of it, until I realized one day that he basically had me trained/conditioned to pet him whenever he nudged or pawed at my hand."- Square-Raspberry560
And You Thought All They Could Do Was Change Colors
"My chameleon will look me square with both eyes and make a chomping movement with his mouth when he’s hungry."
"He’ll also pat at the glass if he wants to come out."
"He’ll hold a grudge, calculate ways to go or get what he wants."
"One of my Boas will only look at me when hungry."
"She had a go at caudal luring whilst doing it the other day."
"Like 'look, dude, I know you bring the food'."
"I’m hungry, look I’m even trying to lure you to give me some food'."
"It worked."- Ugglug
GiphyA Kind Gesture Is Never Forgotten
"My brother’s cat, Coconut."
"We live 2,600 miles apart."
"The first time I met her, I gave her a little pink fuzzy kitty toy."
"2-3 years later was the next time I was able to visit her again for the 2nd time ever."
"She immediately disappeared & came back with this filthy, dusty, brown toy that had obviously been hidden away somewhere."
"We dusted it off & it was the toy I had gifted her years before."
"She remembered me."
"My brother said he had never seen the toy again until that day."
"She’s also very precious with her toys & will leave them outside his bedroom door as bribes."- emilyyancey
Innate Obedience
"When she was a baby I said, 'Go get your toy!' in the same pitch I always do."
"Never trained her with that phrase."
"She went a grabbed her toy and came back."
"I tested her again the next day and the next day."
"She went to her toy pile and brought back a toy each time."
"She picked up the phrase by herself."
"She's also the first dog I've had that looks at planes in the sky when they fly overhead and recognizes dogs on TV even on mute."- Spare-Bread8416
Get The Tissue Ready...
"I have two cats and a dog."
"A little backstory about my dog:"
" I don't know anything about dog training."
"I wasn't even thinking about adopting a dog but it seems like it was one of those things that 'meant to be'."
"My sister found him on the street at a winter night."
"We thought he was lost and there is an owner looking for him."
"Because where I live we have so many strays and you wouldn't see many 'specific breeds', they are just strays and specific breeds have an owner 99% of the time."
"So we took him home and start to search for the owner but it was obvious that poor dog went through some sh*t."
"And we learned about his story from an animal society; that he had a few owners but all of them left him to the streets because he was barking a lot (we haven't heard him barking even once during that time), he was peeing everywhere (he did it once and that was probably because he was nervous of being in a new environment and that was it), he wasn't listening at all (we had 3 cats at that time and I said no one time when he tried to run at them and that was it, never did it again)."
"And we learned that he has been in the shelter twice with big wounds."
"And I said I'm not going to let him go through more, he stays with us."
"He learned how to let me know he needs to go out all by himself."
"He learned to pee on the pads all by himself on the days that I can't take him for a walk."
"He learned to give me my slippers when I come home all by himself because I wear slippers when I get home."
" He learned how to clean his face by watching cats doing it."
" I still don't know how to train a dog other than a few basic stuff."
"He just learns."
"That's been a really long comment."
"So I'm going to leave that how I know my cats are clever for another time."
"Thank you for reading my sweet dogs story."
"I'm glad to have him and I don't know who was lucky about all those; me or him."- LittleBitOff2Day
dog pies GIFGiphyNever underestimate your pets.
As sometimes you have no idea of the things they might see or notice.
Making it all the more important to give them the love and attention they deserve.
Aging is a reminder that the end is near.
But life is constantly finding ways to expedite the aging process.
So many variables contribute to our looks... it's almost shocking.
Redditor sabletoothtiger_ wanted to hear about the things that can cause us to age rapidly, so they asked:
"What instantly ages someone?"
Weight.
My flipping and flopping with my weight has aged me.
It never gets easier to lose too.
Lack of Sleep
Wide Awake Insomnia GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Lack of sleep."
Yasmin947
"Can confirm. I have an aunt who looks older than my grandmother because she regularly gets 3 hours of sleep a night while my grandmother will fall asleep anywhere."
SCG414
Farewells
"Grief, nothing ages you like Grief."
TheGreatGrappaApe
"My brother died 2 years ago, I aged so much since and now look older than some friends of mine who are 15 years older than me. On top of not sleeping well due to autoimmune issues, I notice new grey hairs every day. Grief, lack of sleep, stress. I have the trio and it's just awful. Losing a sibling is a nightmare, especially at a young age. My deepest sympathies."
ScissorsOfJealousy
Flare-Ups
"Back pain. You can't move like a young person if your back hurts."
AdWonderful5920
"I went from being active and spry to barely able to move and in constant pain. It changed so much about my personality as being active and sporty was a huge part of who I was. I also gained some weight."
"I’m way better now and not in constant pain, but there is always a risk of flare-ups now so while I can exercise and be active, it’s always in the back of my mind and I can’t do it with the carefree attitude I once did."
"I also believe it makes me susceptible to other aches and pains as the nerves all connect so sometimes a flare-up sends pains to other extremities such as my hips or shoulders. If there was one thing I could go back and change in my life, it would be to prevent the back injury."
nononanana
Seemingly Healthy...
"F**king cancer. Have watched my brother-in-law age 30 years in a month."
imapassenger1
"I have been a witness to this many times. '30 years in a month' is an accurate measurement."
WimpyZombie
"This hits close to home. My (seemingly healthy) uncle was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer two weeks ago. Within the last two weeks, his body has completely broken down. So sorry for everyone here who has had to see loved ones go through this."
JosjeAB
"My mom had breast cancer (in her 50’s) like 7 years ago. All her hair turned gray and she looked frail and old for a couple of years through treatment. After the cancer was gone, her hair all grew back brown again and she looked like she did before. It was really weird."
a-ohhh
From the Top
American Horror Story Fx GIF by AHSGiphy"Hair loss. Not me personally but I used to work with a guy who I swore was like 35, and he was 19. Poor kid."
Kaiserhawk
"When I have an interview, I let my baldness show a little bit. I look older, and I'm taken more seriously by recruiters that way."
lord_machin
Keep It
Nft Child GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphy"Buccal fat removal."
arieljoc
"Surprised this wasn't higher up. People with baby cheeks don't realize how well they will serve them thirty years down the line when their buddies who teased them for it look like Skeletor."
Burly_Bara_Bottoms
Deep Breaths
"Stress."
gablamegla
"When I was younger and first entered the real world I remember working with a white-haired woman that had an always tired look about her. She had a picture of her daughter on her desk, young, blonde, that looked so incredibly much like her I mentioned it once. Turned out that wasn’t her daughter, but was her prior to her going through the FBI academy."
F_is_for_Ducking
Work of the Devil
"Troubleshooting printer problems. I swear these devilish machines only exist to trigger me to smithereens."
Philitt
"A couple years ago I decided to officially give up on having a personal printer and only use the one at the library because when it f**ks up, it's someone else's problem. I still have my old printer and I've considered dropping it off my roof for fun."
Painting_GatoI
"Had the opportunity to throw one out of a third-story window. The absolute joy I felt watching that a**hole machine soar through the air and smash to smithereens was the best kind of natural high. It's been 15 years, and I still get goosebumps thinking about it."
Natural_Garbage7674
Bad Relations
My Big Fat Fabulous Life Kiss GIF by TLCGiphy"Having a spouse that contributes nothing to your relationship and allows your family to slip further and further into debt without caring that you're all only a couple of bills away from bankruptcy."
Xmenenslaver
Life is just an endless well of aging.
No cream is coming to save us.
