Some celebrities are known to be funny. Others are outright jerks. But these celebrities will forever go down for their heartwarming acts of kindness. Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories.
1. I met Kesha in a pizza place. I was eating with some new friends and I was telling them about an experience I had with ghosts as a kid. They were making fun of me because they didnt believe. All of a sudden Kesha turns around and gets up from a table next to us. She walks up and says, Hey. Sorry for eavesdropping, but you caught my attention because you have the prettiest hair Ive ever seen. Also I totally believe you! Ghosts are real!
2. I met Jeff Goldblum years ago, before a performance of a play he was in. We stood on the sidewalk and he talked to my friends and me for about 15 minutes and was so incredibly friendly and funny. A few weeks later I was walking down the sidewalk when I heard someone say my name it was Jeff Goldblum! I couldnt believe he remembered me. He gave me a hug and we chatted for another minute and then he went into his theater to get ready for a matinee. It was absolutely surreal.
3. My sophomore year of high school I met Ed Sheeran. It was before he was famous in the US, so after he played this super-tiny venue I went out back to chat with him. He was the most down-to-earth and just kind human being Ive ever met. We talked for around half an hour and he even recorded my voicemail message for me! Now every time you call me and I dont pick up, youre greeted by Ed Sheerans voice.
4. Was walking down the street in LA and, next thing I know, Ben freaking Affleck comes along and starts walking next to me eating a Subway sandwich. Casual.
Actual conversation between him and I:
Him: Whatcha up to?
Me: *trying to not freak out* Just finished taking a dance class.
Him: You need food after doing physical activity like that. *hands me the rest of his sandwich* *walks away*
Long story short, got mother-henned by Ben Affleck, and the sandwich wasnt bad.
5. I was on a family vacation in a ranch in Montana and it turns out Stephen Moyer was there also with two of his kids. We ended up playing softball together and he literally (Continued)
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We ended up playing softball together and he literally saved me from crashing into a tree with my horse. It sounds fake, but I promise you its not.
6. Before a middle school play, a handful of us went to go grab Taco Bell for the cast. A Baldwin brother asked what all the tacos were for, found out about our play, came to our school, paid $20, didnt ask for change, and posed for a photo afterwards. Being 11, I was clueless. I thought it was cool he paid $20, which was a lot of money to me.
7. Tracy Morgan comes into the supermarket I worked at and he is the nicest guy ever and we consider each other friends. He is always very talkative and he always asks me how school is going and gives me advice sometimes when he sees Im in a bad mood. He will always stop and take pictures. He and I once had a 30-minute conversation on how boys should respect me and it honestly was amazing. He is the nicest celebrity ever.
8. On my 16th birthday I was in Vegas. We were staying at Caesars Palace and I was walking around the lobby, tripped and face-planted. I look up and Elijah Wood was standing there. He offered to help me up I was a huge fangirl at the time, so I panicked and quickly got up and ran away.
9. My mom met Kim Kardashian in an airport a few years ago. Kim didnt know it, but my mom was on her way to her best friends funeral. When my mom approached her, Kim was incredibly kind and gracious, and actually signed her boarding pass and gave it to my mom as a gift for my sister. Im sure Kim doesnt remember that random encounter in an airport in Alberta, but her kindness to my mom won her fans in all of us for life.
10. Im a server at a caf in Southern California and have had the chance to meet a bunch of celebrities. Matthew Gray Gubler is hands down the best. He took a photo with me, then sent the restaurant an autographed photo a month later as a surprise!
11. I was working on a movie with Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth called The Last Song. During a break, I went into the restroom, which was totally empty except for Miley, who was (Continued)
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who was sitting up on the wall of sinks, and her makeup artist, just chatting. I really had to go, so I just sheepishly apologized and said I would be quick, in case I was interrupting. As I was heading into the stall Miley said, Do you want me to turn the water on for you?? I get SO pee-shy. Here, Ill just turn it on for you. I chuckled and said, It was OK, I lived in sorority house with 30 other women, you learn to get over that quickly! But thanks! As I washed my hands, she divulged how she wished someone had been there to turn the water on for her at the Grammys when Mariah Carey was in the stall next her.
12. I once met Tom Felton while hiking, and although I was really nervous about asking for a picture, he was super sweet and let me pet his dog and apologized for having wet hands because he was giving water to his dog. Even called me lovely. Made my little Slytherin heart swoon.
13. Colin Firth opened the door for me, nodded, and wished me a good evening.
14. James Franco taught me how to pump gas. I had just gotten my license like a week prior and was really struggling at the gas station. I heard an oddly familiar voice ask if I needed any help. I turned around, and there he was.
15. A few years ago, I was flying home for my birthday. My girlfriend was living in New Zealand at the time and was flying back to celebrate with me, but she could only stay for less than two days. Well, my flight was delayed, and I immediately sat down and started crying. I tried to be discreet, but it was very obvious that I was balling. A beautiful girl (both in looks and soul) sat next to me, offered me a tissue, and asked me if I was going to be OK. She sat and talked with me for almost a full hour, listened to me gush about my girlfriend, about my grandmother, and we talked about being queer. It wasnt until about a year later that I saw a picture Cara Delevingne and lost it over the fact that the gorgeous and amazingly kind woman I talked to was Cara freaking Delevingne.
16. A few years ago I had the pleasure of meeting Jennifer Hudson. Well, actually I was hired to do a home inspection for her. I was really amazed at how (Continued)
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sweet and humble she was. Even though Id just started learning to play the ukulele, I asked her if she wouldnt mind singing if I played her a song. I was floored when she agreed to it. She was more than happy to humor me and was gracious enough to do a duet with me. Dang, to this day it still gives me goosebumps thinking about how extremely talented she is. I was completely gobsmacked at how amazing her voice really is when you hear it in person. Which pales in comparison to how incredibly nice she is.
17. Luke Wilson was a regular at my old Starbucks, so I would always have his iced coffee ready by the time he got to the register. During the holidays he said, Here, Kiana, this is for you, and hands me $20. I still have it framed and never told anyone, since I wouldve had to have split it with my other co-workers.
18. Before the Kim era, my sister and I ran into Kanye at a movie theatre. Though he was a bit hesitant to take pictures, he did oblige. We had a short conversation and after all was said and done (and he did compliment my shoes), we were on the guest list for his show the next night front row, it turned out.
19. Catelyn Stark (Michelle Fairley) and Jon Snow (Kit Harington) came into the bistro I worked at and Michelle complimented my tattoos; Kit proceeded to tell me all about his first trip to Canada. They ended up doing cartwheels in the little garden that we had there. (They had drank some wine.) So lovely that such big stars are so down-to-earth. It was such a pleasure meeting them.
20. Im an enormous Survivor fan (read: watched all 32 seasons multiple times) and actually ran into Jeff Probst at Starbucks. This was my first actual starstruck experience, but I went up and just said, Hey, Im a huge fan and before I could get any other gibberish out, he got out of the line and immediately started (Continued)
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asking me questions about what I thought about this season, previous castaways, past seasons, etc. We talked for over 20 minutes and HE asked if we could take a picture. Dream. Come. True.
21. I was a seat filler at the first-ever Guys Choice Awards. There was free food and drinks, but the seat fillers werent allowed to partake in any of it. Will Ferrell was randomly seated at the table I was at he was so nice! He chatted with us and showed me pictures of kids. He ended up getting the waiter to bring the whole table of seat fillers multiple shots of tequila. Andy Samberg even stopped by to take a shot with us as well!
22. Met Carlos Santana in a Las Vegas mall. My mom said, You probably hear this a lot but you look like Carlos Santana. He chuckled, then my mom began talking to his wife (aka Lenny Kravitzs drummer). She told us he was in fact Santana himself. He was super cool, gave our family of five free tickets to his show, let us hang out backstage, and even gave my brother (whos a guitar player himself) an iPod loaded with never-before-heard live music.
23. Long story short, I was very, very drunk at a very fancy party, and it was definitely time for me to go home. As I walked to the door to leave, I could feel myself starting to fall over. I was drunk, I was wearing 5-inch heels There was no stopping it. I didnt even try, kind of just let myself fall until someone caught me. I looked up, and it was Sebastian Stan. Sebastian Stan caught me in his arms. Like something out of a movie. He looked down and me and laughed and said, Having a good night? and I have no chill at all and responded with a super-suave line: I am now.
24. I used to work for Disney World, and part of my duties included what we called PAC; Parade Audience Control. Basically my job was to go out there, set up the safety barriers, watch for kids trying to stampede out in front of floats, and also to provide a bit of amusement for the people while they were waiting. There's also a position called 'alcove' which is where celebrities sit for a better view. I happened to be on alcove duty one day, and lo and behold, up comes Shakira. I had a brief moment of sheer fanboy before my training kicked in, and we spent a good 20 minutes just talking and chatting the same way I would have with any guest. She's a very down to earth and friendly person, and I'm really glad that I got to meet her, especially in the way I did.
25. Just a couple weeks ago I saw Mara Wilson perform at a comedy club in Queens, and she hung around the bar after with all the rest of us "regular folk." I went up to her and told her (Continued)
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I was fan and would she mind taking a photo? She smiled and said, "Yes, why not? I'm wearing make up for once." We laughed and took the photo and then she said she loved my skirt. I beamed and blurted, "Thanks, it was 5 bucks at H&M!" She told me that made it even better. It was just a lovely interaction all around--thanks, Mara!
26. Before a Middle School play, a handful of us went to go grab Taco Bell to bring for the cast. A Baldwin brother asked what all the tacos were for, found out about our play, came to our school, paid $20, didn't ask for change and posed for a photo afterwards. Being 11, I was clueless. I thought it was cool he paid $20 which was a lot of money to me.
27. Ed Sheeran was opening for Snow Patrol (this was way before he was headlining sold-out arena shows lol) so my friend and I decided to go to the venue even though we didn't have tickets. Long story short, we waited outside with a security guard for two hours and he ended up bringing Ed out to see the two of us (this man is still our hero for helping us out). Ed brought out a Lego figure that he put together on his tour bus and gave it to us because he was so grateful for our support. He then made sure we were getting back home safe and suggested we go eat at a Greek restaurant nearby. Couple of months later, we go to a small show of his and he remembered us! Love that guy.
28. Don Sweeney, former Boston Bruins player and coach, Stopped a photo line to help me get my infant and toddler back in their stroller, and he called me "Super mom."
Sources to individual storytellers linked in their username.
Redditor Civil_Improvement692wanted to explain a few important facts for people.
"What is one thing other countries don't understand about America?"
I will admit I have seen very little of America. So this list will be help me out as well.
Transport Issues
Travel GIF by Grish MajethiyaGiphy"They're gonna be really, really disappointed in the train service."
tpatmaho
"Well, the last one makes no sense. European rail systems are government run and are much better than the semi private US passenger rail system."
EmperorPenguinNJ
Distance
"The US is huge. On r/askanamerican, foreigners will tell us how they're planning a 2 week trip, starting in NY, driving to Miami, then driving to the Grand Canyon, then driving back to NY, and we're all like 'What?!'"
MoonieNine
"I was on a call with a vendor doing some work for my department. One of the guys was in Minnesota (I'm in Wisconsin) and the rest of their team was in Ireland. The guy in Minnesota mentioned that he could come to our office since it was only about a 4 hour drive. The guys in Ireland started laughing saying that it they drove for 4 hours in any direction, they would be in the ocean!"
PhantomsRule
Law & Order
"Most people from other countries (and plenty of Americans) don't understand the system for making and enforcing laws in the US. Specifically, they don't seem to understand that laws vary by state and that there are restrictions on which laws can be made at the federal level. Also, I've seen way too many people who don't realize that the US President does not have the power to pass laws on his own."
upvoter222
423!
"Not to mention our 423 national parks. I hear a lot of us Americans say that we’re over populated as a country. I was a flight attendant for twelve years and when you’re 36,000 feet above it all, a lot of it is sparse. I live in Japan now and reside in Tokyo where there’s a huge population — but outside prefectures are empty because the younger generation are moving to where the work is. I think people need to keep that in mind no matter where they reside."
MSotallyTober
Peace
Relaxing Space And Time GIF by MyaGiphy"As someone who’s done 5 road trips across the US, it’s much more peaceful than the media lets on. Sure some areas are really bad, but do your research and you can avoid them. It’s not the war zone most of Reddit would have you believe."
c0smictwist
Wow... there is more than I even knew about. I'm intrigued.
Oh NYC
Is Awesome New York GIF by FriendsGiphy"There’s a LOT more to New York than NYC. New York State has more land than the Netherlands, Switzerland, Belgium, and Luxembourg combined, for perspective. Come on by sometime, we’ve got GREAT parks and good wine!"
IronbloodPrime
Hi!
"How friendly most of us are. Don't believe the news. Seriously, most of us love meeting new people. Especially those from other countries and cultures. In the US. we love to tell you the best restaurant or park or best way to get from point A to point B. Don't be afraid to say 'hi.'"
Spodson
"This was so evident in Florida, the first time our family visited America (from England) and everybody was so friendly. Love the people. That was back in 2002, I can't mesh the image I have of the lovely people from that trip to the image I have now from the media."
alice_op
From HK
"One college roommate I had was from Hong Kong, and was just about to graduate. But before he left, he and some friends (also from HK) were going to fly into LA, rent a car, and take a day trip to the Grand Canyon and back. The next day they were going to drive up to Seattle and stop and see the sights along the way, also on one day. We had to show them several maps with comparable scales to places he knew to set them straight."
ReverendLoki
Info Wars
"If they get their information from the news and social media they think all Americans are extremists, one side full of hate for the other. That is completely untrue. There are a few on the far ends making most of the noise. Most Americans are middle of the road, hard working citizens. We pay our bills, respect the law and get along with each other."
AdminW*ore
Ordinary
Bored Paul Rudd GIFGiphy"How utterly normal most people’s lives are here. The news has led non us people to believe that it is a lot more like the Wild West than it really is (I am from Texas)."
Frosty_Accident_6165
See! America can be a big ole blast!
RedditorGuildernstern87 wanted to hear about all the ways to be creative when in shock.
"What is your favorite variation of the saying 'What the f**k?'"
I love using naughty words in subtle or over the top ways. Tell me...
No Way
Season 5 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Ain’t no f**king way."
evinti01
"This deserves top comment!!"
Commercial_Ad4451
Lyrics
"I'm a fan of 'what in tarnation?' and'"what f**kery is this?'"
kittyclawz
"'What kind of f**kery is this?' Remains one of the best opening lyrics to a song that I can think of."
Sidewalk_Tomato
"Same.I also like to throw in a 'what the heckerooni' or 'what in the ding dang damnable f**k' every now and again to keep things spicy."
murrimabutterfly
Doth tell us...
"Pardon me, my good *itch. What seems to be the f**k?"
Gaybythebay01
"I'm stealing this."
Overall_Use381
"That's just it, sire, it appears we are bereft of f**ks. Throughout thy kingdom, there is nary a f**k to be given nor had."
timmyisserpico
VOT?
"I remember one of the times I really laughed at a post was when an article years back announced a Call of Duty game download would something like 50-60 GB and someone replied with a photoshopped picture of Hitler raising his sunglasses and saying 'VOT ZE F**K!'"
NoStressAccount
Proper
No Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphy"What fresh hell is this?"
SeasonedWithCare
"Dorothy Parker in the house!!!!!"
chillin1066
Fresh Hell. I've been using that one.
Sporty
Big Bang Theory Team GIFGiphy"What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here?"
SteveBonus
A Gassy Response
"My kid will say either What the What or What the Fart. He's 11 so we are hearing a lot of the fart variation right now."
FishWife_71
"I, a grown man, am still fond of 'What in Fart's name?' Yes, I do take Fart's name in vain."
DeathbyChiasmus
"When we were kids we said, nowhere near parental units, mother fuzz-farter! Still fun to say."
Baller5511
Oh La La
"In Quebec we say, 'Qu'est-ce que f**k?' to give it that European flair. Also it's funny as hell. Go ahead, say it out loud."
iceTreamTruck
"Must be relatively new. Lived there for 23 years but moved away in 2009 and never heard 'qu’est-ce que fuck.'"
HLef
"Maybe it’s more of an Ontario thing? Also, I know I’ve only heard it among anglophones."
iceTreamTruck
Hunger
"I like adding unrelated qualifiers such as What the Kentucky fried f**k, or What the biscuit eating f**k. It adds a little extra zing to the emotional expression while also confusing your enemies for a moment while they attempt to decide just exactly what a biscuit eating f**k is."
cawatxcamt
Oh My God Omg GIFI love all of these and I will implement immediately.
Redditor Dangerous_Language26 asked:
"What is the worst fast food chain?"
Everyone out pizzas the Hut
"The sad, sad decline of Pizza Hut. Back in the 80's and early 90's it used be the place where you had pizza parties. You read your books to get a free personal pan pizza."
"Then they started to cut corners. The tomato sauce tasted different, the crust was hard. It was greasy and it just drove people away."
"Compared that to Dominoes which was literally the lowest tier of pizza and Pizza Hut dominated them for years."
"Then Dominoes hired Patrick Doyle as their CEO in 2010. They ran all those ads on focus groups and how they were going to improve their customer service and change their recipe. It all worked and using tracking technology and GPS Dominoes went from the bottom of the barrel to the king of the hill."
"Now Pizza Hut is at the bottom."
- dresn231
GiphyTim Would Be Appalled
"Tim Horton's - at least in the US. Their food is universally gross and overpriced. Their donuts are gas station quality at best. And the biggest most unforgivable sin is that for a chain that prides itself on coffee, they serve it in an atom-thin, hand-scalding cup through a drive-through window so unless you have carpenter's callouses on your hand you are assured to get first-degree burns. They use those cheap 1975 era coffee lids that you have to manually peel back, ensuring further skin damage as a splash of coffee will inevitably come out. Then finally you lift it to your lips, but with no other pinhole to regulate flow a geyser of 400-degree lava vaporizes the skin on your lips. You try to stuff your mouth with what you know is going to be an average-at-best donut just to have something to soak it up but that donut was cooked in a Cleveland warehouse that shares space with a Spirit of Halloween three days ago so it's just stale and bad and you can't decide if you want the burning coffee or the gross donut out of your mouth more. I've never felt like an entire chain hated its customers more than the masochists that visit Tim Horton's."
- caffeinex2
"Tim Hortons gradually turned into complete sh*t after they were bought out. It's not even a Canadian company anymore. Their donuts have been garbage since they stopped baking them in store and their coffee isn't even good. Like you said all their food is gross. As a Canadian I've been boycotting them for quite some time. It's a shame because they used to be very good."
- divine__love
"They used to be the darling of the fast food breakfast genre. Shockingly good coffee for cheap, circa 2016. What Dunkin Donuts wished it was. Now it’s awful."
- im_a_seaturtle
"It’s terrible! And as a fellow Canadian, I’d like to formally apologize to our American friends because this is not the Timmy’s we grew up living and you’re being ripped off hard. 10 years ago Timmy’s was the absolute best, hell even 5 years ago they were better than this. This is not the company we were all raving about, they’ve changed drastically."
- banditlovexo
Not Even Cheap Any More
"Gonna give a curveball answer: Subway"
"Since they dropped the $5 footlong model, they are are just overpriced and underwhelming subs. Go to Jersey Mikes, Firehouse (good god come here, best subs for a chain IMO), Ike’s Love and Sandwiches (if one is near you?), or some really good mom and pop deli shops"
"There nothing redeeming about their subs"
- Flaux454
"The only good thing about them, is they're in truck stops, so you can get disappointing food that isn't just always McDonald's, while you're on the road"
- GordonShumwaysCat
"'Subway: It's Not McDonald's'"
- ExtraordinarySuccess
Not Finger Lickin' Good
"KFC. Used to be my absolute favourite but when they changed the chips it started going downhill. Now they're just super slow at getting the food out, even when it's not that busy (at least all the ones where I live are)."
- OrangesandLemons98
"I used to work next to a KFC in 2001/2002, and FU*K, their mashed potatoes, and gravy were so good. I would've happily bought gallons of their gravy just so I could put it on everything."
- ProjectShadow316
"Excellent answer. It used to be so good. Them getting rid of the potato wedges hurt. Fortunately, if you have a Wendy's with breakfast where you are, their potato wedges are great!"
- INVERT_RFP
Arby's Of The Past
"I was going to say Arby’s, because about twenty years ago an Arby’s franchise had all the charm of a crack house, but it feels like they’ve come around lately. Maybe new ownership, I don’t know."
- Playful-Opportunity5
"Arby's may be the best of the big ones these days. Varied menu, everything is pretty freaking good. I will die on the hill of Arby's Curly Fries being the best fast food fry."
- SixPeiceTaye
"Honestly I've gotten sick from Taco Bell and McDonald's, but have never gotten sick from Arby's or Weinershnitzel, and they both get so much hate for no reason imo. I actually prefer Arby's to most fast food."
- Octobersiren14
GiphyNot The Queen Of Dairy
"My husband is a health inspector and he will without a doubt tell you it's Dairy Queen."
- cassiecas88
"Just had it yesterday. Ice cream is great... their burgers? Yuck."
- IcyAd9404
King Of Burgers?
"I'm not sure about worst, but I don't understand how Burger King is still around."
"They just opened a new one about 2 miles from where I live; it's across the street from McDonald's and near a Subway. I never see anyone there. Their dining room never seems to be open, there are never any cars in the parking lot. You drive by, and there will be 12 cars in the McDonald's parking lot and 5-6 cars in the drive through, and the BK is a ghost town. And many of them around here are like that. Nearest I can figure, they're all drug fronts."
- pm1966
"I love Burger King! I could eat whoppers everyday and fries with zesty sauce. The one near me is always packed and the food always comes out looking exactly like the advertised picture and is hot and fresh."
"With that said it probably depends on where you're located and if it tastes good. In my area the Wendy’s, kfc, Hardee’s and arbys all suck and never have any business(not sure how they stay around) but I like them in other towns I’ve been too ours are just sh*t and have horrible service and don’t know how to cook the food correctly!"
- Poctah
"Me too. Zesty onion ring sauce is amazing. Whopper is a top-tier burger. Chicken fries… amazing. I love BK and will die on that hill!"
- kabobinator
No Time For Taco Time
"Taco Time. Not to be confused with Taco Time Northwest (which is a f**king delight ::chef’s kiss::). Regular Taco Time makes Taco Bell seem like fine dining and tastes like Satan’s butthole."
- reruning
"This sounds like a real Alfredo's Cafe v. Pizza by Alfredo situation."
- SubwayMan5638
"Uh yeah. You nailed it. That’s so funny. I had totally forgotten about that episode."
- reruning
"If you go into Idaho or maybe Western Montana, you start to see taco time restaurants but they aren’t taco time northwest. They are really haggard and rundown. Basically a Hooverville for Mexican food. Two different chain restaurants with dang near the same name."
- reruning
Don't Stop For Their Wings
"Wingstop. My source, you ask? I work there lmao. Chicken is sh*t quality and super small not to mention how awful all the stuff in the sauces are. Everybody is obsessed with the ranch despite it literally just being mayo/buttermilk/hidden valley ranch packets."
"AND the new sandwiches we just started are nasty and come out raw despite cooking them exactly how corporate told us. Not to mention everything is just stupid expensive. $1.69 for a tiny side of ranch at my store 🤷🏼♀️"
- smallemochick
Chipotle Sucks Now I Guess
"I gotta say Chipotle. Hear me out."
"When they first started showing up they were really good. Cilantro lime rice. Tasty barbacoa. Decent hot sauce. It was treat going there. It wasn't too expensive and enough food that you'd always be stuffed full after eating. What else could you want?"
"Qdoba showed up. It sucked. It was terrible compared to Chipotle. Not even competition."
"Then Qdoba got good. Chipotle panicked and decided the solution was to increase their prices, shrink the menu options, and change their recipes. Suddenly the rice was bland. The barbacoa was dry and tasteless. They added that terrible cheese sauce that is truly inedible. I mean parmesan? Really? Not a lime in the store. Just dreadful. Their speed of service became embarrassingly slow. I don't think I've been there since that Godawful cheese sauce.
"I want 2008 Chipotle back. I think that was peak Chipotle. I'd get lunch there by myself and stare bleakly out the window at the parking lot; thinking about hating my job and enjoying my food."
- mostlygray
Not all chains live up to their advertising, but quality can sometimes really depend on each individual location.
So go ahead and try that new place out, just don't be surprised if it kinda sucks.
Redditor Bianca_di_Angelo asked:
"What's a fool proof excuse to skip a party?"
Yeah, no.
"In the wise words of Rachel Green, 'I wish I could, but I don't want to'."
- leese216
"Phoebe’s brutal honestly also featured in 'Sorry I’m late, but I left late'"
- Et12355
Jennifer Aniston Friends GIF by TV Land ClassicGiphyMom Said No
"'My mom said no, sorry"
- Deleted Account
"I'm gonna try 'my cat said no, sorry'"
- Listen-bitch
No Friends, No Problem
"If you don’t have friends you can skip all the parties."
- ChunkyPillow
"Extroverts hate this one weird trick!"
- havron
Do A Caesar
"Caesar: Decius, go tell them Caesar will not come."
"Decius Brutus: Most mighty Caesar, let me know some cause, lest I be laugh'd at when I tell them so."
"Caesar: The cause is in my will: I will not come; That is enough to satisfy the senate."
- NoStressAccount
Keep It Simple
"Just say you're not feeling very well. Leave it at that."
- MiddlesboroughFan
So Much Poop
"Explosive diarrhea"
- nsmith0723
"This works and absolutely kills any followup questions. Dead stop. And reduces the risk of of being invited to future events."
- Sticking_To_Decaf
"'Hey. I just violently sh*t myself. I'm thinking that going out in public isn't really a thing for me today.'"
- Darth_D**k_Fingers
Boundaries Are Great
"You don't need a foolproof excuse. Set your boundaries and decline the invitation"
- puppymonkeybaby79
You Know I'm An Introvert
"My social battery is low. Just gonna chill by myself"
-WorstLuckChuck
Family Time
"'Family coming in' my go to"
- Sea_Sea3831
When All Else Fails, Absurdism
"Say 'Sorry I gotta go milk my cat.' and give no further explanations, that should stop the whole party problem."
- Hacker_N00b
Hopefully you won't need them but, if you do, here's a great selection of ways to get out of any unwanted parties.