Sleepovers are such a fun part of growing up. But these sugar-filled nights of staying up late with your pals don't always end in fun. These people describe their most awkward experiences they've ever had at a sleepover.
1/26. Our entire friend group and my poor friend Baxter (that seems like a fun name) watched as my science teacher got a BJ from Baxter's single mom in a hot tub from the window. We were 13.
There are some things can't be unseen.
2/26. One time I was over at a friends house for his 11th birthday. It was myself, the birthday boy, and three other guys. We all slept in our sleeping bags in the basement. At around 5am, we all awake to find Jake yelling at the birthday boy Derek. The reason?
Derek thought it was funny to take a piss on Jake's face while he was sleeping, and Jake freaked out. Jake walked out after right after that, while the rest of us stayed up and called our parents around 7. I went home around 8, and in that time, Derek was still trying to play it off as funny. Derek lost 4 friends that night.
3/26. Camping in the backyard with some friends when I had to pee super bad. I couldn't find the zipper to the tent to get out and I was about to burst. So I ended up trying to pee though the mesh window. I don't know why. Well, peeing through mesh doesn't work very well, especially with terrible 9 year old aim and I ended up laying a pretty thick layer of atomized urine all over everyone else in the tent.
In the morning it turns out one of my other friends was awake pretending to be asleep and saw the whole thing and told everyone it was me who peed all over everything in the tent. Dude was awake while he was getting piss all over him and said nothing. What the f*ck man? Needless to say I was not invited to another sleepover for quite a while.
4/26. When I was about 7 or 8, me and a few friend's were sleeping in a tent in my best friend/neighbors front yard. His dad was a bit of an alcoholic, quite similar to Randy Marsh actually. Anyways, his dad comes home from the bar, plastered, bursts into the tent and wakes us all up, saying we should all go up to the elementary school across the street. We go with him, the whole time acting like spies, avoiding all the lights, all under his drunk ass directions. We get to the playground, and he decides he wants to challenge all of us to a footrace. So we all line up, he yells "GO!" and we all take off. Surprisingly, he kept up with us almost all the way to the finish line, before he busted his a**, fell flat on his face, on concrete. He also landed awkwardly on his arm, breaking his wrist. Was awkward at the time, but looking back on it 20 years later, it's quite hilarious.
5/26. I was out camping with a neighbor friend of mine when we were 14. I woke up hearing the shuffle of her sleeping bag. I asked her what she was doing and without breaking a stride she said that she was warming herself up. Then I turned on the lamp and found her on top of her bag, naked and masturbating. She immediately stopped and pulled her sleeping bag up over herself and she turned out the lamp. We sat there in silence for about three minutes. Then I said "you can finish if you wanna." "No, you ruined it!" We didn't speak much the rest of the trip.
6/26. 13 or 14 years old. All-night RPG session (pen and paper) with my buddies in my friend's basement. His awesome mom brings us course after course of food throughout the evening as I vainly try to GM an adventure where my friends are more interested in creating in-game simulations of being drunk (GURPS had a skill for that, like everything else) than in actually playing the game. The night wears on and we finally pass out with dawn quickly approaching.
Shortly afterward I wake up with a start - my stomach didn't like the awesome food as much as the rest of me did. Jump up off the basement floor and bolt for the bathroom, only I'm really tall and have a problem with passing out when I get up too quickly. Black-out in the doorway and fall hard. Wake up a moment later with my friends standing over me. That's when it hits me - that looming feeling of dread when you realize that you had just sh*t your pants in front of a room full of your peers. Is this real or am I dreaming? These terror-filled thoughts are interrupted by a renewed gurgling in my stomach. Apparently it is all too real.
I claw my way into the bathroom and slam the door shut on my startled friends. I pull my pants down and unleash a foul kind of hell in the toilet even as sh*t continues to soak into my ill-fitting jeans (this happened in the 90's). But wait, there's more! Suddenly I need to vomit because this delicious food apparently cannot leave my body fast enough. I do the only rational thing that can be done and start puking into the garbage can as I continue to add to the mountain of poop underneath me.
Apparently I had offended some vengeful deity that day because - obviously - the basket is wicker. So there I am, pooping everything that can be pooped as I vomit into a garbage can that is, at best, straining it. The floor us covered in vomit, my pants are full of sh*t, and that's the day that my social anxiety started.
Welcome to the next decade of your life, kid.
7/26. Friends mom walked downstairs to find eight sixth grade boys huddled around the tv watching porn. We instantly pretended to be asleep, and nothing was ever said after that. I still think of it every time I see her.
8/26. I was in 4th grade and sleeping over at my best friend's house. I wet his bed and then clogged their toilet with a massive dump. I didn't know what to do so I shut the lid and ran into their garage to hide.
9/26. I was sleeping over at my cousin's house. We stayed up and snuck out into the living room to watch Cinemax. It was after midnight and back in those days that was when all the titty flix came on. One came on that my cousin was really into. He started touching his raging erection in his pyjama pants and then he let out a blood curdling scream. Somehow he ruptured a vein or something in his peen. We had to go wake up his mom. She looked at it and decided we had to go to the emergency room. Our whole family still makes fun of him for that until this day when we get together.
10/26. The day after the sleepover, my friend wouldn't let me leave no matter what I did. Around 6:00 PM his dad finally said I should probably go home. Friend burst into tears, threw himself to the floor and was begging his dad to make me stay.
11/26. Back when I used to pee the bed in third grade, I fell asleep in my friends bed during a sleepover at his house. I pissed the bed. It... It was awkward, and I never stayed the night at his house again. But what was most awkward was that when I woke up, he was sitting in a chair staring at me, waiting for me to wake up...
12/26. Probably about 14. This girl decided to have a big slumber party for her birthday. Well, she was stereotypically uncool, wore T-shirts with wolves on them, bragged about how far she could stick the arm of her glasses up her nose, and kind of always smelled like dogs. I was about one social rung above her.
My friend and I were the only people that showed up at her big party. Her mom made us hot dogs, and dinner was SILENT. Her dad arrived at started screaming about how her two gigantic german shepherd hadn't gotten enough affection today. He ended up throwing a hot dog at the girls mother.
Later on I made a joke of the word, "gracias" as, "grassy a**" because I was 13. Her dad pulled me into the kitchen and screamed at me.
I was shaken up and scared so we all went to bed. In the middle of the night my friend and I woke up with the girl sitting up right between us and shaking us awake. We tried to figure out what was going on and she just said, "You know, we could kiss." Having no interest in such things at that age, I was thoroughly disturbed. My friend called her mom and claimed we were sick and had to be picked up IMMEDIATELY. It was just too much discomfort for one night.
13/26. About 11 years ago, sleep over with girls and boys. All lights are out for about 10 minutes. We have all settled down and gotten silent for sleeping. Then we hear a grown male voice clearly enunciate the word "what". Now, let me be clear. This was not a child's voice. This was like hearing James Earl Jones say "what". There was about a 10 second silence and then one of the girls says "who said that?". Silence. Then one of the boys starts laughing uncontrollably. We turn the lights on and he is laughing so hard that he's crying. Here we are all freaking out about some strange man in our room while we sleep and he's pissing himself laughing. He finally calms down enough to tell us that it wasn't a person who asked "what". He farted the word. His fart sounded exactly like the word "what". We all cracked up. To this day everyone from that party still answers phone calls from each other with "what?".
14/26. I was about 10, sleeping over with a group of pals, including my buddy's little brother who was around 6. We finished up a few rousing games of Donkey Kong 64 and Hydro Thunder and all went to bed. Woke up to find the little brother, standing ominously above me -- butt-a** nekkid except for a pair of Christmas-themed tube socks on his hands and arms -- and peeing into my half-open sleeping bag.
No more sleepovers at Ryan's house.
15/26. Me and my friend slept in his mom's bedroom on the floor because she liked company since her husband passed away a few weeks before. Apparently when my mom came to pick me up the next day my friends mom said I climbed into bed with her. I had no idea.
Classic case of sleep walking.
16/26. In about grade 7, I had a sleepover with a few friends. One of them started crying when we started watching The Simpsons because he wasn't allowed to watch it at home. We couldn't calm him down for almost an hour.
17/26. I once slept over at a friends house. He was a bit older than me. This difference was where he had discovered masturbation, whereas I had not.
Anyway, I heard his bed furiously rocking back and fourth. I asked him what he was doing. He said he was doing pushups. It was dark so I took him for his word. So then I asked if I could do pushups with him.
Years later it all dawned on me...
18/26. 5 people in one room in their sleeping bags about to sleep and all I hear is a very slow fapping noise. We didn't find out who it was in the morning.
19/26. I think we were all around 15, about 6 male friends came over for your typical high school sleepover; pizza, soda, and video games until 3 in the morning, and everyone just passes out where they lie.
Except something must've been in the air that night because almost everyone was getting ... sexual. It started with jokes about 'swordfights' in the bathroom, then a couple of them actually went into the bathroom to piss and cross the streams. Or so they say, I didn't verify.
Then at one point, 5 of them (6th was passed out) basically started comparing dick sizes, and I backed out. I had my reasons: I was closeted bisexual and in denial, and the last thing I wanted was to be ostracized in a class that was only ~20 students.
So yeah, kind of odd that the inadvertently gayest experience of my life happened in my bedroom and I backed out.
20/26. When I was 12 my friend Peter had a disco themed birthday party (no, I don't know why) at his house. The party being on a Friday, we all stayed the night. Being preteen boys with limitless cola, we ended up staying up all night, and decided to watch the sunrise on his back deck. As we're looking at the majestic, slowly lightening sky, our peaceful moment is shattered by a shrill, screaming voice. Looking to the source of the sound we see his fat, topless, 50+ year old neighbor lady yelling through her kitchen window that we're degenerate perverts.
She was under the impression we were all staring at her. Once the yelling started we couldn't really help it, and that horrible image will be forever burned into my mind (I'm 29 now).
21/26. When I was around 15, I was staying the night at one of my best friends house. We decided to steal a bottle of whiskey from his parents kitchen and walk down to the park down the street to drink it. It was around 10 p.m. I immediately started taking big chugs (Dead sober and no tolerance.) About 30 minutes later I was blackout drunk, but do remember small tidbits. We climbed the roof of the elementary school nearby (Right next to the park) and tried to break into the classrooms. Eventually I became became somewhat belligerent and my friend got annoyed. It took him about an hour to get me to leave with him.
This is where my memory fades completely. We walk back to his house and (apparently) my friend told me to just lay down on the couch in his living room. At this point he was really fed up with how drunk I was and just wanted to go to sleep. He said I agreed and laid down on the couch as he went to his room. And this is where things get a little weird. I get up, in the middle of my sleep and I walk into his older brothers room and just stared at him in his sleep... My friend had just changed rooms a week ago with his older brother, so I guess in my blackout stupor I assumed it was still his room. He wakes up and asks me what the hell I'm doing. I say nothing and proceed to lay on the floor.
His brother is weirded out, but decides to just leave me be and let me sleep on the floor, probably assuming I'm drunk. About an hour later (according to him) he awakens to me rolling around and puking all over his floor. At this point I am entirely incoherent, so he decides to just deal with it in the morning and leave me be. About an hour or so after that, I get up, and walk into his parents room across the hall, and start puking all over THEIR floor. His parents are pissed, needless to say, but somewhat understanding. His mom gets up, cleans up the puke, (I am COMPLETELY blacked out.) and takes me to the shower. She takes my clothes off, except for my underwear and puts me in the shower and turns it on. This is all according to her, god knows what exactly happened and what I was saying. For all I know, my junk was popping out of my boxers, I never felt the need to ask.
Anyways, the next morning I woke up in his basement with nothing but underwear on, that was stiff from dried puke. With virtually no memory after we decided to try and break into the school. I talked briefly about what had happened with him and his family, as I grabbed my clothes and left. Most embarrassing night of my life.
23/26. I was about 5 or 6 when I lived in Florida. I was at my best friend's house. Hot thirsty and got up to drink some water. Found my friend's parents boning on the couch at 2 am. I promptly went back downstairs.
24/26. Finally invited to a sleepover at a "popular" girl's house... started my period and bled all over my pj's (which I borrowed from her) and her sheets...
25/26. When I was like 11 my mom made friends with this chick at her work who had a daughter the same age as me. There was a few times where her mom and my mom would hang out and bring us along so we were kind of friends. Anyways the girl has a birthday party/sleepover and invites me. We didn't go to school together so I didn't know any of the other girls she had over (there was 4 other girls). So we eat pizza, swim in her pool, sleepover stuff. So later in the night after her mom and her moms boyfriend had gone to bed, we're all hanging out in her room just talking about weird pre-teen shit while listening to music. So the TV is on but since we have music on too the TV is on mute. I don't know who put it on or how long it had been on but in the middle of our conversation this girl says "Oh my god look at the TV". It was some soft core Cinemax porn and the room just went silent. So this other girl asks if any of us had ever "cum", most of us are like uh no, so then she asks if we know how, again we're all like no not really, so this girl grabs a pillow and starts humping it while we all just sit there. Sean Paul's Temperature was playing in the background.
26/26. My friend's dog woke me up with his tongue in my mouth.
Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
"Giving birth (In the us)"
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is HardioGIF by VIASWEATGiphy
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
Two Volcanosrachael ray boob sweat GIF by First We Feast: Hot OnesGiphy
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
ExpensiveHappy Music Video GIF by DJ MustardGiphy
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
Attempted MurderBlack Woman Breast Cancer Awareness GIF by Know Your GirlsGiphy
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
There are humane ways to tell someone to go home after a... liaison.
How can one be so rude after being so intimate?
I'm not saying you have to snuggle and profess love, but damn, a quick... "thanks, I hope life is kind to you" goes a long way.
Redditor sumyungdood wanted to hear the tea about the times they had to tell a lover to take a hike. They asked:
"What is the worst way someones asked you to leave after sex?"
Tell me your worst. Mine our stories where I had find my clothes in the dark and sneak out naked.
A Late RunTom Hanks Running GIFGiphy
"Asked if he could drive my car to the gas station to buy cigarettes and when he came back he told me he left my keys in the car and it was running."
"An old friend invited me over for her famous beef stew. I got there, we fool around, had sex, then right after she handed me a tupperware of the stew and said 'you got sex and stew, now please leave.' Still not sure if that's the worst way I was kicked out or the best."
"Most of the people here didn’t get stew. You did okay!"
'is it that obvious'
"Went home with a girl from the bar. After we had sex, she said something like 'soooo... think you can get an Uber now? If not, I GUESS you can sleep on the couch for a few hours.' Here I was, sitting on some random girl's couch trying to find an Uber at 4 AM. Mercifully I did find one and when the guy picked me up he said 'so, your hookup kick you out?' I said 'is it that obvious' and he replied 'you weren't the first one I drove back to their car tonight and you probably won't be the last.'"
YummyHungry Taco Bell GIFGiphy
"Go grab some Taco Bell. You can eat it on your way home. Honestly it was better than the sex. And I don't even like Taco Bell that much."
I hate Taco Bell. And since reading this... I hate people.
Mrs. Robinson?Seduce Dustin Hoffman GIF by Top 100 Movie Quotes of All TimeGiphy
"She lit a cigarette, then looked at me for like 20 seconds, and said 'Well, bye.' I just got dressed and left. Never saw her again."
And you are?
"While dozing off, he gently tapped my shoulder, and said: 'Maribel, you can’t stay here.'"
"My name is not Maribel."
"See this is what happens when you don’t let people talk about Bruno."
"He got off me and started looking at pictures of other women on Instagram, and commenting on how much more attractive they were than me and told me 'oh yeah you can go now.' We were best friends for like two years up until that moment."
"I’m open minded but this is exactly why I often don’t trust male friendships. You could even be a lesbian and one moment of vulnerability they may take advantage of that. I know it’s unrelated but your experience made me upset and I’m sorry you had to go through that."
"He rolled over, grabbed his phone, and without even looking at me said 'find your clothes, you know where the door is' and just laid there on his phone ignoring me while I gathered my clothes and left. He tried texting me a few days later because he was drunk and horny so I told him 'you know where your hand is' and blocked him."
GrossParis Hilton Reaction GIFGiphy
"We were good friends for a few years before hooking up after a night of drinking."
"Halfway through sex he told me he can't actually do this because he wanted to get back with his ex and can't mess it up because she's the hottest girl he'll ever be with. He lived in the middle of nowhere and I couldn't leave until the morning so he made me sleep on the couch."
Wow. Some people are truly disgusting. How do you treat other humans this way?
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Most couples are inseparable and enjoy doing everything together, thanks in part to shared mutual interests.
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"
These Redditors needed some "me time."
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
Some people need to get out of the house.
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.