Babysitter can be such an awkward experience. Whether it's with the children or the parents, something about babysitting stories adds another level of cringeyness. Here are some of the most awkward encounters babysitters have had while on the job!
1/25. So I'm a female and I babysit two brothers (9 and 12). One day it was me, the brothers, and their dad in the car. The 12-year-old then randomly says "hey dad, don't sleep with this babysitter hahahaha".
Worst car ride ever.
2/25. I was once babysitting a 7 year old who was mad because I didn't allow him to go to his friend's house when his parents specifically said not to let him. He the proceeded to take a large knife and make small cuts on his arm and face and told me that he was going to tell his parents that I did it to him.
So I started secretly recording him in case the parents didn't believe me.
When his parents returned I had to explain the situation and of course they believed their precious son because he had (minor) cuts all over him and was crying hysterically. After being threatened, I showed them the video and they tried apologizing. At that point I was so fed up and annoyed and I left.
Needless to say, I never babysat for them again
3/25. Gave a four-year-old her bath. Halfway through, she pulls a small spoon out of her vagina.
She said she'd put it up there earlier. I asked if she had anything else inside her. She said no. Continued with bath.
4/25. I had to babysit a 16 year old. I'm 18. He wanted to have sex with me.
5/25. I was babysitting my boss' daughter, who was four years old and constipated.
The kiddo went to the bathroom, and remained there for like fifteen minutes, so I went in to find her after she did not come out. She was on the toilet, straining, of course. And I was about to leave her in privacy when she went and flailed her little arms and said the phrase that will live in my memory forever.
"You can't leave! You have to SQUISH me!"
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I had quite the WTF expression, I'm sure. So I went, "What?"
And she says, "When I can't poop, mommy and daddy always squish my tummy, so you have to squish me!" And she places one hand on her stomach, and one hand on her back, and demonstrates how to squish her.
So I accept her demands and gingerly put a bit of pressure on her stomach.
But, oh, no. "Harder! You have to squish me harder!"
So, I'm literally squishing the shit out of a small child for a few minutes until finally she breathes a sigh of relief and tells me she's done. She hops up off the toilet and there, in the bowl, is this tiny corn-kernal sized turd. I squished a baby for almost f*cking nothing.
6/25. I accidentally ate a stash of weed cookies when I was 12. In retrospect, it makes more sense now that they kept the cookies in the back of the cupboard above the refrigerator. I had to get up on the counter to reach them. I initially only planned on stealing one cookie, but I just couldn't help going back for more again and again. I was filling in for my cousin's usual gig, she was 16, she flipped when she showed up and found me all stoned.
7/25. In high school, I met a nudist family at the local nude beach. They asked me to babysit, figuring I'd be comfortable with their lifestyle. No problem, easy money. Two boys 7 and 9, we'll behaved. The weird thing was that as soon as the parents left for their night out, the kids would start putting on clothes. By the time, they got home we were usually bundled up watching scary movies on TV. The parents always seemed a little uncomfortable with that, like I'd been perverting their kids into putting on clothes.
8/25. Being six years old and barely being able to take care of myself, let alone an infant.
I came up pretty poor and my mom struggled to make ends meet. One day she had an interview and had to leave us (me and my brother who was 4) alone for 6 hours or so while she left to go to a job interview. Not to mention we were living out of a small motel room.
Anyway, I could handle my brother so that wasn't too bad but about 30 minutes later this junkie lady, who lived next door to us, knocked on the door calling for help.
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Since I knew her and saw she was in trouble I opened up the door. She then convinced me to babysit her 3 month old infant while she did god knows what and sh*t, I was six, what was I going to say, no.
The worst part was her leaving me nothing but some half-eaten food to feed the kid for the day. Hours later, my mom returned home and cursed me out for opening the door and taking the baby, though she knew that I was only trying to be nice.
The junky lady returned late that night and my mom went crazy on her. I never found out what happened to them, being that my mom got the job and we moved to an apartment soon after, but I hope that child ended up okay. I still think about it to this day.
9/25. New Year's eve. Parents come home midway through the evening to drop off one of their super drunk friends. He went to sleep in the three year old's bed and the kid kept going up to check on him like a little nurse. One of the kids reached for a glass of what I thought was water on the coffee table but I quick gave it a sniff and it was vodka that the parents left out when they went to the bars. Parents were so drunk they each tipped me a ton of money and told me not to tell the other party.
I made $90 that night which was amazing money in 1993.
10/25. Kid kept playing with his junk when I'd changing him and sing-song "playing with my pee pee.".
11/25. I'm a daycare provider. The weirdest thing that I have ever seen is one day I went in to work to find all the kids watching a scene from Futurama on loop. The dad looped the hypnotoad to see if it would work, and it did for about 20 minutes.
12/25. Was watching two boys, maybe 12 and 11. Well their parents liked to party quite a lot (one of the reasons they would pay me to watch their kids). One night they go out, order pizza for dinner and the delivery driver forgets the the soda. So the younger child says there is orange juice in the fridge, I grab the pitcher not thinking anything of it. Pour them each a glass, they drink and eat without saying word. Through the course of the night they keep pouring themselves cup full's of OJ. They start acting strange, stumbling, talking odd, etc. Call the parents and ask if I should do anything, then tell the parents everything they ate/drank.
Their dad ends up telling me the OJ was just a giant screwdriver that his wife and him were going to split when they got home. Luckily I didn't take too much heat for it because he said he should have warned me.
13/25. I babysat a 4 year old once, I was 20 at the time. In the basement lived a teenage brother to the 4 year old, a kid I wasn't told about until I walked in and the mom said "by the way my 17 year old is in the basement" as she ran out the door.
The little one went to sleep, the teen came up and asked me if I had any weed.
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More cringe-y stories on the next page!
14/25. I haven't babysat in awhile but when I was a teenager I watched two kids up the street. The mother was single and had another single friend with two kids so I usually watched them all. I knew they went out to party- which was fine because they'd come home drunk and pay me more than I expected. What I didn't know is how much they partied. One evening I went upstairs to get money for pizza. I found both moms in the bathroom snorting coke.
The worst thing was when they offered me some despite the fact that A) I was about to spend the night watching their young children and B) I was only 14 or 15 at the time.
15/25. I babysat a little boy who had severe emotional problems. One time he ran away while I was upstairs playing with his sister. He ran away to the park down the block, climbed a tree and refused to come down because "no one loved him". I was young and didn't think about calling the police or anything. I just sat at the bottom of the tree and literally talked him down. I convinced him that I loved him and wanted him to come home. His siblings also helped me by saying they loved him also. It was so scary.
16/25. I was babysitting an eight year old who got pissed because I wouldn't let her eat a shit ton of candy at midnight when she was supposed to be in bed... so she sat on the kitchen floor and urinated.
I made her clean it up.
17/25. "I'm gonna cut you" - from a 3yo girl because I told her it was time to get ready for bed.
18/25. When I was 13 I got a job babysitting for my neighbours. They had two little girls that were just the easiest kids to look after. The mom and dad were super nice people. Dad was a nurse that worked mainly nights and mom worked from home and would ask me over Friday nights so she could go out and have some down time. I quickly found out though that she was seeing other men.
The first night I went over there the mom informed me she would be home no later than midnight. Well 4am rolled around and I'm woken up by noise out on the porch and see her hastily kissing another man and shooing him off. She apologizes for being late, pays me (was $5 short) and I go home to my mom whose pissed that she kept me so late. The same thing happened two more times. She'd promise to be home at midnight and come home at 3 or 4 in the morning. Every time with a different guy. And every time would stiff me a little of what I earned. My mom put a stop to it and called her out on cheating on her husband. They ended up getting divorced not long after that.
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19/25. I babysat two girls maybe 8 and 6. Their mom said she was planning on being home around supper time. Well, supper time comes and goes and mom doesn't show. A few more hours and I receive a drunk phone call from mom. I asked her when she expected to be home and she said she didn't know. She asked to talk to her oldest and I put the little girl on the phone. Kid gets upset and runs out into the night. I panic but manage to find her. She was hiding in the yard, didn't get too far.
Anyway, long story short, it's now the next day and I call a friend of mine to take over since I was exhausted. Mom shows up 3 days later and gives my friend $20 to give to me. Im furious and vow to never sit for anyone again. A few weeks go by an her boyfriend shows up and apologizes for her actions and hands me $150.
20/25. Babysat my two year old brother and he ate his own sh*t.
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23/25. Mom and dad came home drunk, and fighting. The dad went out to walk the dog, and the mom locked the door with me inside. She kept saying "shh-shh," while the dad screamed from the outside.
She started saying things like, "He wants to kill himself instead of be with me - who says that?"
I reached for the lock to get out, and she pulled my hand back saying, "No, leave him for a while."
I waited as long as I could, then busted out of there.
24/25. I babysat regularly as a teen. One night it was business as usual. I had just laid the kids down for bed until I hear crying in the bathroom. Go in and the little one had a poop string hanging out of his bottom. I didn't want to pull it in case it was wrapped around something so I'm trying to keep this kid calm and call his parents. They don't answer. I call over and over with this kid freaking out. I call my mom who calmed me down, took their number, and then chain called them until she got a hold of them. They "rushed" home and took him to the ER.
Definitely my weirdest night. The string came out fine, btw. Apparently the kid liked yarn.. a lot.
25/25. I have rather hairy legs and I was wearing shorts. This four year old boy just gets on the floor and starts petting my legs like I'm a dog.
Redditor RedditPenguin02 wanted to make a list of the best inquiries to make when starting a relationship, so they asked:
"What is a good question to ask before you start dating someone?"
From what I've learned in my past, always ask... "Are you into Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The TV show."
If it's a no, then it's a dealbreaker.
I Do
Shocked Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy"Are you married?"
wrenchmonkey135
"I would ask that. If they said no, the next question was 'Would your wife agree?'"
"If they laughed, they were telling the truth. If they got indignant and pissed off that I thought they were lying…they were married."
"Worked every time."
Squibit314
We Lived!
"Do you clap when the plane lands?"
dont_u_know
"I swear people used to do this all the time when I was a kid (early 2000’s), and I don’t think I’ve heard anyone do it in 5+ years. I guess 9/11 really made people afraid of flying for about 10 years and then most folks decided they didn’t need to applaud when the plane landed safely?"
jmims98
Family Planning
"Do you want kids in the future? If one person wants kids and the other wants to stay child-free, then they are not compatible. And it is better to try dating someone else."
GoodAlicia
"It confuses me whenever some couples who disagree on this end up in a conundrum because one expected the other to change their mind. This is something I bring up early cause I see no future with someone who wants kids when I do not."
GoodAlicia
"You should always put childfree on your dating profile. It's not a small thing. Either you agree on it or not. If I had to date, I would put childfree on my profile too."
GoodAlicia
Carb it on...
"Do you like bread? That is the extent of my flirting skills."
HumpieDouglas
"Being German, bread is like a frickin' cultural phenomenon here, we have around 300 kinds of bread, there's a bread museum, every time I go on vacation I'm like yeah it's nice here but the bread ain't it yall, never as good as home lol. So yeah, valid question and the only answer to this is an enthusiastic yes."
Nayeliq1
Room Temperature
Frosty The Snowman Winter GIF by filmeditorGiphy"What temperature do you set the thermostat to throughout the year?"
OneFingerIn
"Haha this one always gets me as someone who needs low temps - you can always put on more clothes, I can't peel my skin off to get cooler."
djdante
The thermostat is a dealbreaker for me.
It's gonna be 60. Love it or move on.
Discovery
Blown Away Wow GIF by AminéGiphy"When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
"Opens a window to how they think."
youcantkillanidea
"If that was really early on in the dating I’d think it was a bit of a head-f**k question. I’d probably find that question a red flag, tone dependent, although I agree with the sentiment."
LivestockMarc
Personal Time
"Aside from major differences about finances, kids, politics, or religion, a big one is; What are your hobbies? If they don’t really have any, you may be the next hobby, which isn’t going to work unless you’ve got that kind of time. If the hobbies are time-consuming ones generally done with a SO."
"But you have no interest in them, that could be an issue as well. If only one of you likes camping, wanted to spend vacation lounging instead of exploring, didn’t like sports, etc either that partner is annoyed or the other feels like they don’t get to enjoy what they love."
Githard
Past Issues
"Ask them about their exes. If they think every single one of them is an a**hole... they are likely the real a**hole."
CantTakeMeSeriously
"I have mixed feelings about that - I've been in three previous relationships and all three were emotionally abusive towards me (one wasn't nearly as bad as the other two, though) in various ways. I know this is a common sentiment and it always makes me afraid that people won't believe me or something.
"I mean, I realize in your comment you said 'likely' and not '100% sure' and there's plenty of room for nuance."
phiore
Values
"I would try to take care of any dealbreakers. If I find out that she has different political values than I do, it's not going to work out in the long run, so I wouldn't bother. Same thing with other factors (religion, financial values, etc.). I would also ask how much cuddling she likes to engage in, as I prefer a lot."
SkullKrusher9000
Essentials
Tell Me More To Do List GIF by Disney ChannelGiphy"When I was dating my three essential questions were always kids, sex, and money. If you're not on the same wavelength for any of those three things, just don't even try."
KhaosElement
TRUTH PLEASE!!
"So, how much personal debt do you have?"
"Source: the guy who dated a woman with huge debts and was asked to pay for everything and then some".
"After that, I'd go with, 'Have you ever been diagnosed with borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorders?"
extracensorypower
The questions are basic.
Just ask for the truth.
Do you have any good Qs to add to the queue? Let us know in the comments below.
Curious to hear from strangers online who never saw themselves in their current positions in life, Redditor graces-taylor12 asked:
"What about becoming an adult caught you completely off guard?"
The following Redditors were not ready to process the inevitable when it came to their parents.
A Role Reversal
"Watching your parents becoming old and frail."
– Mrbusybaconandeggs
"Dealing with this yesterday and it is an eye-opener. Its hard seeing someone you’ve known as a pillar of strength for 30+ years in a position of such weakness, and knowing that he might improve but generally the decline is coming."
– Rook1872
Age-Defying
"I've had a weird atypical experience. My dad was pretty old when I was born and always had a bad knee he could never afford to get fixed. He could barely walk and has never been able to run since I could remember. It got so bad that he couldn't even walk up or down the stairs in our house."
"Well he eventually got a knee replacement and he's now more agile at 73 than he was at 53. It's weird to see."
– Downtown_Skill
Sad Epiphany
"I'll never forget when I first realized how frail they actually were. I went over to their house to help out with some chores, and they couldn't even clean out any of the pens by themselves. They ended up selling most of their animals that year because they couldn't look after them."
– thecanadiancowboy
Life Can Be Cruel
"It’s slowly beginning with my parents, small hints here and there, they’re in their mid 50s.The big freak out for me has been watching my grandparents slowly declining over the last 3ish years. One set of grandparents have been gone since I was a kid, so these two are all I’ve got now. My Pap’s arthritis and sciatica is to the point now where it’s a process for him just to stand up. 2020 I saved him from a fall, if I wasn’t there to catch him, he would’ve easily been in the hospital for quite a while. That was the first 'Oh sh*t, he’s not immortal' moment."
– NoinePiecesOfVinyl
These Redditors discovered older doesn't always mean wiser.
Wake-Up Call
"I can do whatever the f'k I want. But I don't really want to do anything..."
– IcarusWax
"Yup, the idea of doing whatever you want as an adult was the biggest scam cartoons sold us."
"Yeah, you can do anything you want but you're gonna need money. So you get a job, there goes most of your day to your job."
"So now you have money but that'll go to bills first and by the time you can do what you want you don't have the energy or funds. Then the loop continues.."
– JimmyJackJericho
Fake It Til You Make It
"How clueless other adults are. I really thought adults had their sh*t in order while in reality most people are winging it."
–= xepci0
"Maturity is a skill. Some people learn it quickly. Others never do."
"Children are limited by their youth. Their brains aren't fully developed. But adults are not guaranteed to get more mature without working for it."
"Some people never grow up. They just get old."
– snapwillow
Being Independent
"I'm surprised by the amount of people who genuinely couldn't live by themselves if they had to. They somehow never learned basic life skills like simple cooking or cleaning and always had someone else to do it for them."
– CliffExcellent123
People became more aware of time.
Not Enough Me Time
"How little free time you have. You have to work, you have to prepare for work, drive to work, drive home from work. You also have to do household chores. You have to take care of kids if you have some. When do I get to enjoy my hobbies?"
– lllSnowmanlll
Point Of Exhaustion
"Most of the time I'm so tired from the day, I just don't have the mental capacity to do anything but go right to bed and watch tv ;_;"
– WitherWithout
Never Going Back
"Transitioning from college student + part time worker to full time worker I gained a bunch of time back. I was shocked that I could just decide to do laundry tomorrow if I didn't feel like it. Every evening I had this huge chunk of time that was just open."
"But then, moving from an apartment to a house, now there's a bunch more chores to do. Then introducing kids, now there's all that. But still, I wouldn't go back to the hectic college life."
– civilwarcorpses
Marking Time
"How it just goes on endlessly."
"When you're a kid, there's a summer break every year, and a new school to go to in a couple of years. Whatever part of your life you are in is clearly delimited and there is something new to look forward to after it."
"Once you're an adult, it's just 5 days of work and 2 days of weekend over and over and over until you die."
– Suitable_Mistake2208
After having a decent, long run in the entertainment business as a dancer, I've long held the belief I was invincible.
I was physically stronger, more agile, and foolish enough to think I could perpetually live in such a state.
All of a sudden, reality smacked me in the face one morning when I woke up and heard and felt various parts of my body crackle and pop like when milk hits a bowl of Rice Krispies.
My tired body had the audacity to inform me:
"Not today and from this day forward."
We're currently not on speaking terms.
