People on Reddit were asked: "What are some things 'drunk you' has done that 'sober you' appreciated the next morning?" These are some of the best answers.
1/22 Two years ago at the start of a holiday season bender I decided that everyone I knew needed SHAM-WOWS for Christmas. I ordered $200 worth and totally forgot until they showed up in February. So maybe not the next morning, but I love them SHAM-WOWS!
2/22 I once came home drunk, and as that's clearly the only logical activity to do while drunk, promptly decided this was the right moment to repartition my hard disk. Upon waking up next morning, my mind was blown that I'd somehow managed to install a dual-boot truecrypted windows 7 and LVM encrypted debian, including working bootloader, with a post-it note on the screen stating the password. All my files were still on the windows system.
Still have no idea how that happened.
3/22 I asked out the hottest girl from high school (though it was already college). She said yes and now we're married. Bonus: she isn't stupid.
4/22 Filed my 2011 taxes.
5/22 Drunk Me does lots of great stuff: He pisses off exes so they don't talk to Sober Me, he always buys extra Taco Bell for Sober Me, he never loses Sober Me's credit cards. If Sober Me is in a tobacco phase, he always brings home a fresh tin of Cope. Whenever he pukes, he cleans it up better than Sober Me could be bothered to. He uses up the condoms that Sober Me hasn't done anything with. He puts strangers' numbers in Sober Me's phone, but always gives them descriptive names. When he's traveling by foot, he gets cardio in for Sober Me (I hate cardio!)
I think Drunk Me is my best friend.
6/22 Gone home. No matter how much I drink, I always end up home.
7/22 I went wild with some Tuesday night drink specials yesterday at an UES bar, and I got utterly shithoused on a wide variety of wines, drafts, and cocktails.
Fast forward to this morning, and I woke up bleary-eyed next to two advil, a full glass of water, and a handwritten note that said, "You're going to make it through this hangover man. I love you." I smiled, thinking that my wingman for the night had carried me home and put me to bed. I texted him a "<3", thought nothing of it, and stepped in the shower.
After I dried off, I picked up my phone and saw this reply: "<3 you too buddy. Where'd you go last night?" I rushed to my nightstand, reread the note, and realized that the handwriting was my own.
8/22 Drank a lot of water.
9/22 I woke up with 2 gatorades and a bottle of aleve next to me, a wawa sub in the fridge (and somehow my car keys were also in the wawa bag in the fridge, don't ask) and in my wallet was my credit card slip for the tab I had at the bar for $230.51 with the words "way to go dumbass" written on it my own handwriting.
It's like drunk me was disappointed at myself and wanted to make sure that hungover me was taken care of and yet still knew what an idiot I am.
10/22 I woke up in the shower (not on) so not drunk me could get ready even quicker that morning.
11/22 I always appreciate when drunk me forces himself to puke knowing sober me will appreciate the lessened hangover in the AM.
Drunk me also texts without making spelling errors, which makes people not know how drunk I am and gives me an alibi if I did something really stupid.
12/22 Sometimes drunk me likes to do dishes and clean my kitchen. It's a nice thing to wake up to.
13/22 I got mad at my best friend because she spent an entire evening with her friends while I sat 3 meters away from her with a few beers and my friends. When we walked home, I told her how jealous I was. Then somehow I woke up next to her.
I actually only remember walking TO the pub and waking up next to her. Rest is what I've heard from her. 2 kids and 10 years later now, btw.
14/22 He threw a urinal cake at some douchebag for me.
15/22 Oh man, a few weeks ago I got pretty drunk at a party. Apparently when I got back to my dorm room and started charging my phone I noticed my phone was getting pretty warm on the back where the battery is located (this is an old LG feature phone). So, I added a contact in phone named 'Sober-Self' which was my phone number and texted myself the following message: "Hey man I put our phone in the freezer because it was getting hot charging." I did not locate my phone until two days later when I went to get a toaster strudel and then read the text. Made for a good laugh.
16/22 I call it drunk landscaping. I hate working in my yard and in the AZ summer the best time to do it is at night. I get pretty hammered over the course of the the chore and when I wake up the yard work is done. Only way to fly.
17/22 Still having the common sense to take out my contacts before I crash on my bed.
More drunk tomfoolery on the NEXT PAGE!
18/22 Almost every time I am drunk, I will line up all my possessions that I carry with me in front of wherever I am passed out. I woke up on my front porch with my keys, phone, wallet and glasses all nicely lined up on a nearby table. I say almost every time because drunk me was an asshole last time I drank, and he hid my glasses.
19/22 Drunk me never lets me drive, but also never loses my keys. Good guy.
20/22 I skewered and sliced my foot open during a blackout walk home through a construction site. It was an inch deep, 2.5 inches long. I walked home and washed it, bandaged it, wrapped it up and went to bed. When I went to the hospital the next morning they asked me who did such a good job on it. They were confused and amused that a black out guy who almost died playing by himself in a construction site was smart enough to pull it off.
21/22 Bought myself stuff I'd been wanting off of Amazon while blackout drunk. 2 days later, my gifts from drunk-me arrived.
22/22 Sober me found a $20 in my pocket. It was such a pleasant surprise that later that night, drunk me withdrew $300 from my account, got change at the corner store and spread $5's, $10's and $20's into all of the pockets (and a few shoes) in my closet. Because it was a cash withdrawal, I had no idea and assumed I'd blown it on liquor or lost it. After a few days of "woohoo! Surprise $10!", I caught on. And, just when the excitement died down, seasons changed and I started finding surprise cash in my winter wardrobe.MissWeeble