As a student, it's hard to keep up with everything that's going on at school. Sometimes, you get a test only to realize you have no clue what the answers are to the questions. So what do you do? Well these teachers share the funniest answers students have given to a question on a test.
1/21. A third grader's homework was to define vocabulary words, and one of them was "parent."
His definition: "Adults who own you."
2/21. Made up quotes in a religion exam, "the bible says 'thou shalt not lotto'".
3/21. I used to mark chemistry papers for a university. There was a question - the content I can't recall - but an essay style answer was required. Anyway this one student had a complete mind blank and instead wrote this elaborate story about a lonely dragon who couldn't make friends. So lots of different animals would take pity on him and try to be his friend but in his excitement he would set them on fire.
To this day I wonder if the dragon ever made any friends without accidentally killing them, poor guy.
4/21. From my time as an English teacher in Japan is both funny and sad.
Question: Please tell us about your future dreams.
Answer: I want to be a nurse. Nurse can study math. But I can't study math. I don't like math. So I can't be a nurse. And I don't have a dream now.
5/21. Q: Why did Mao and his communists march through the snowy mountains?
A: To avoid the Mines of Moria.
More hilarious answers on the next page!
6/21. "How does dietary fibre aids in digestion?"
It smoothens the sh*t.
7/21. I remember that there was once in our Chinese character test, we had to figure out what meant. It's a proverb and roughly means 'A school's dog will be able to read and write in 3 years' (you get affected by what you're with) but a kid wrote "If you can't figure it out in 3 years, you're stupider than a dog."
8/21. I was taking my driver's test, this had been written under a question:
Q: "How much is the fine for fleeing an officer?"
A: Nothing, if you're fast.
9/21. A student wrote an advertisement for the new season of 24 in the top corner of the paper. Strange but it did remind me to watch it.
10/21. Not a teacher but as a secondary school student I completely forgot what metallic bonding was in my chemistry exam (the real one, not the mock).
So, in the 10 minutes I had left over at the end, after I'd finished all the other questions, I drew a diagram of an iron atom and a magnesium atom with speech bubbles depicting their conversation. Things like "hi there, how's your day been?" and similarly friendly things.
At the bottom, I wrote a caption saying:
As you can see, these metallic atoms are bonding. They will be friends in no time.
More unbelievable answers on the next page!
11/21. I had my students in U.S. History create advertisements to convince people to move onto the Great Plains. One student simply drew a donkey and wrote "bring that a** here boy!"
12/21. In French GSCE speaking exam :
She was meant to say : J'ai voyag en avion (I travelled on a plane).
She said : J'ai viol en avion. (I raped on a plane).
Oh how we laughed. She didn't have a clue what she said though.
13/21. This was an answer from one of my classmates. When it was marked wrong, we complained until he changed her grade.
Q: Can you explain the effects of the German attack on the Netherlands in 1940?
A: No.
14/21. Had a student turn in some code with profanity in the comments. In their defence, R deserves that kind of response.
I told them officially I have to give them a talk about professionalism, and unofficially my thesis has far worse in it.
15/21. In a calculus course:
Q: Define Simpson's Rule
A: Drew a picture of Bart Simpson saying "Don't have a cow, man!"
16/21. List 3 different gasses:
Air
Farts
Gravity
Continue onto the next page for more hilarious answers!
17/21. I had my students do a writing assignment where the point was to write a story with the group, but each student could only write one sentence before passing to the next student to continue with the next sentence.
Student 1 wrote: Once upon a time there were four friends who went on a vacation.
Student 2: They decided to go to a cabin in the woods.
Student 3: This story is stupid.
Student 4: It gets better when they get to the cabin.
18/21. On a thermodynamics test, the students had to define "adiabatic." One student answered "someone who needs insulin." I think I gave them half credit.
19/21. If a test in our country is failed by more than 70% of the class it has to be repeated. Your grade will be the better of either the repeated or the original test. This kid had aced the first one and couldn't improve. Instead of doing his math he wrote a recipe for cheesecake. And that was surprisingly good.
20/21. A student wrote, "I don't know, I'm sorry, I didn't study, dishonor on my family and my cow." She drew the saddest cow on the bottom of the page. Glad she's been watching Mulan.
21/21. I asked students what data structure would be appropriate for applying Dijkstra's algorithm and this moron put down a binary search tree instead of a queue! Haha, what a goofball!
But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
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