As a student, it's hard to keep up with everything that's going on at school. Sometimes, you get a test only to realize you have no clue what the answers are to the questions. So what do you do? Well these teachers share the funniest answers students have given to a question on a test.
1/21. A third grader's homework was to define vocabulary words, and one of them was "parent."
His definition: "Adults who own you."
2/21. Made up quotes in a religion exam, "the bible says 'thou shalt not lotto'".
3/21. I used to mark chemistry papers for a university. There was a question - the content I can't recall - but an essay style answer was required. Anyway this one student had a complete mind blank and instead wrote this elaborate story about a lonely dragon who couldn't make friends. So lots of different animals would take pity on him and try to be his friend but in his excitement he would set them on fire.
To this day I wonder if the dragon ever made any friends without accidentally killing them, poor guy.
4/21. From my time as an English teacher in Japan is both funny and sad.
Question: Please tell us about your future dreams.
Answer: I want to be a nurse. Nurse can study math. But I can't study math. I don't like math. So I can't be a nurse. And I don't have a dream now.
5/21. Q: Why did Mao and his communists march through the snowy mountains?
A: To avoid the Mines of Moria.
More hilarious answers on the next page!
6/21. "How does dietary fibre aids in digestion?"
It smoothens the sh*t.
7/21. I remember that there was once in our Chinese character test, we had to figure out what meant. It's a proverb and roughly means 'A school's dog will be able to read and write in 3 years' (you get affected by what you're with) but a kid wrote "If you can't figure it out in 3 years, you're stupider than a dog."
8/21. I was taking my driver's test, this had been written under a question:
Q: "How much is the fine for fleeing an officer?"
A: Nothing, if you're fast.
9/21. A student wrote an advertisement for the new season of 24 in the top corner of the paper. Strange but it did remind me to watch it.
10/21. Not a teacher but as a secondary school student I completely forgot what metallic bonding was in my chemistry exam (the real one, not the mock).
So, in the 10 minutes I had left over at the end, after I'd finished all the other questions, I drew a diagram of an iron atom and a magnesium atom with speech bubbles depicting their conversation. Things like "hi there, how's your day been?" and similarly friendly things.
At the bottom, I wrote a caption saying:
As you can see, these metallic atoms are bonding. They will be friends in no time.
More unbelievable answers on the next page!
11/21. I had my students in U.S. History create advertisements to convince people to move onto the Great Plains. One student simply drew a donkey and wrote "bring that a** here boy!"
12/21. In French GSCE speaking exam :
She was meant to say : J'ai voyag en avion (I travelled on a plane).
She said : J'ai viol en avion. (I raped on a plane).
Oh how we laughed. She didn't have a clue what she said though.
13/21. This was an answer from one of my classmates. When it was marked wrong, we complained until he changed her grade.
Q: Can you explain the effects of the German attack on the Netherlands in 1940?
A: No.
14/21. Had a student turn in some code with profanity in the comments. In their defence, R deserves that kind of response.
I told them officially I have to give them a talk about professionalism, and unofficially my thesis has far worse in it.
15/21. In a calculus course:
Q: Define Simpson's Rule
A: Drew a picture of Bart Simpson saying "Don't have a cow, man!"
16/21. List 3 different gasses:
Air
Farts
Gravity
Continue onto the next page for more hilarious answers!
17/21. I had my students do a writing assignment where the point was to write a story with the group, but each student could only write one sentence before passing to the next student to continue with the next sentence.
Student 1 wrote: Once upon a time there were four friends who went on a vacation.
Student 2: They decided to go to a cabin in the woods.
Student 3: This story is stupid.
Student 4: It gets better when they get to the cabin.
18/21. On a thermodynamics test, the students had to define "adiabatic." One student answered "someone who needs insulin." I think I gave them half credit.
19/21. If a test in our country is failed by more than 70% of the class it has to be repeated. Your grade will be the better of either the repeated or the original test. This kid had aced the first one and couldn't improve. Instead of doing his math he wrote a recipe for cheesecake. And that was surprisingly good.
20/21. A student wrote, "I don't know, I'm sorry, I didn't study, dishonor on my family and my cow." She drew the saddest cow on the bottom of the page. Glad she's been watching Mulan.
21/21. I asked students what data structure would be appropriate for applying Dijkstra's algorithm and this moron put down a binary search tree instead of a queue! Haha, what a goofball!
Redditor ChrisVIII wanted to discuss the best ways to make living better, in the most simple of ways.
They asked:
"What improved your quality of life so much, you wish you did it sooner?"
Pay attention in school.
Don't drink and drive.
Two very small and life altering decisions I wish I could've done better.
Walk Away
"Walking. After years of trying to run, I simply started walking. 5-7 miles a day in good weather. It is literally life changing in terms of mental and physical health." ~ Merlin560
GiphyAdopt...
"Adopted my block. (adoptoneblock.org) Instead of being sad about trash everywhere, I go out a couple times a week with a grabber and a bucket and just clean it up. Fresh air, a chance to connect with neighbors in a positive way, eyes on the street, neighborhood looks nicer and feels safer, zero downside."
"Adoptoneblock might only be in Oregon, but a picker is like 20 bucks for a good one (I recommend Arcmate brand; they're metal inside and last forever) and 5-gallon buckets are everywhere. Even if you only do the block around your house, it makes a huge difference. Imagine if every block got adopted." ~ binkkit
"helping people out"
"I stopped saying yes to things I didn't want to do." ~ VinnyRuns
"Holy sh*t me too! I used to do hair and eventually once I was working for myself I would say yes to literally everything all the time. Including 'helping people out' and stuff like that. I loved making people happy but I eventually got more and more miserable and ended up with a pretty heavy drug addiction."
"A bunch of years later and some really helpful therapy and I work a job that I actually love and no longer do hair for anyone other than my girlfriend or very close family. Only took 16 years of doing something I didn't really love to finally break and make the changes I needed to get what I want out of life." ~ arcaneresistance
Sail Away
"Taking a yearly vacation. My family never traveled growing up so I didn't know what I was missing out on but I have a good paying job with time off benefits and my wife and I have been taking a vacation every year since we got married, even if it's just something simple the time away from the usual day-to-day does wonders." ~ brshimp
Push No
"Turning off all push notifications except for essentials like financial apps or important contacts." ~ cyan_reynolds
GiphyI'm learning so much already.
And HOW do I turn off those notifications?
Swallow
"Swallowed my pride and got a blue collar job. For almost 20 years I followed my mother's advice, work inside so it's warm when it's cold outside and cool when it's warm outside. Now I deliver packages outside and the weather doesn't bother me. I have no boss on my shoulder and I can do my job however I want." ~ veldrinshade
Restful Nights
"CPAP machine. If you snore at all, you owe it to yourself to get a sleep study and see what is going on. It literally changed my life getting one. I went from constant caffeine throughout the day just to function to feeling rested for the first time in years. Especially if you are overweight like I am, your heart is stopping multiple times an hour as you struggle to breathe while snoring."
"It sucks getting used to the machine (especially if you have to wear the full face mask), but man that first night of actual deep sleep will be life changing. I cannot recommend it enough and I have convinced at least 5 people that I know to get one and they all say the same thing, should have done it years ago." ~ bonez59054
The Top View
"Quit my job and moved to the mountains. I realized I cared more about what I did with my free time than whatever work I did, so I got a job where my SO and I wanted to live. We live in a cute mountain town now and every day watching the sunrise at home gives me 1000% more happiness than anything ever in Illinois." ~ starciv14
Water and bedding are essentials to happy living.
Don't be afraid, you can always start doing better now.
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